Apple Juice

Kendall Gendircher Muesli

Breakfast, Canada's Drag Race: Canada vs the World, Canada's Drag Race: Canada vs the World 1, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on vs the World the BBC kindly hosted the inaugural United Nations of Drag battle royale, featuring finalists, robbed icons – looking at you, Lemon and Chez – and even a mother tucking host. And let’s just say, things got wilder than Jimbo flinging bologna at Ru pretty quickly. In addition to the lunch meat, there were gaggy eliminations, gaggier lip syncs and for consistency’s sake, a Jujubee appearance in the finale. Sadly for her, the crown went to the UK as Blu Hydrangea snatched it from Mo Heart and took it home to Northern Ireland.

But that was then and now we’ve changed out the Curry Chipz for poutine as we return to the northern part of North America as Rita made their triumphant return to the Canadian Werk Room. Well, mainstage, as is apparently the tradition for the International battles. In any event, she looked stunning in a glorious green gown before Stephanie Prince joined her, ready to rectify the robbery of her being eliminated on her first season. And while I love her, girl, nope, it was not a robbery. Though she was cute as the green fairy. Kendall joined her fellow Canadians looking perfect in a regal blue superhero number, followed by former mother tucking winner herself Icesis and damn, you can tell she has the money. That lilac look was glorious.

And her Season 2 sisters – and even Rita – were not happy about her presence.

Representing us south of the equator, Down Under’s Anita was giddy, delightful and ridiculous and ugh, I love her and know she will make us proud. They were joined by Brooke’s sister, the one with the good milk, Silky and ugh, I love her and can’t wait to see her dominate again and earn our love like her run in All Stars 6. Speaking of queens who got rudemption and then some on All Stars 6, purple queen Ra’Jah arrived and ohhh-hhh my go-ooood, crown her now. Whether she is concerned about Icesis or not. Vanity arrived from across the pond and well, she was stun-ning in orange. Dirty rice, indeed. Thankfully she also assured us she won’t be serving Baga Chipz, which is important for all contestants to clarify TBH. Rounding out the cast is the iconic first cis female cast member of any Ru franchise, Victoria Scone and well, she is still as gorgeous and stunning as I remember.

Brooke soon dropped by to welcome her cast and announce that their first maxi challenge would see them split into groups of three to form Girl Groups. Rita, Anita and Victoria formed the first band, Kendall, Icesis and Stephanie kept it in their season while Silky, Vanity and Ra’Jah would no doubt dominate together. Each band would have to write and record a verse on the new single Bonjour! Hi! with the top 2 lip syncing for the right to eliminate one of the bottoms. Again, as is tradition.

The dolls ventured backstage to get to know each other and find their place in the Werk Room, where Team USA vowed to be the Top 2, which feels right. Anita meanwhile was loving how kind everyone was and as such, read Silky for absolute filth every chance she got. Rumail interrupted their de-dragging experience to welcome them to the competition – despite Brooke already telling them what was happening – before they split up to work on their lyrics. Silky, Ra’Jah and Vanity agreed on calling themselves SRV while Victoria was thrilled to be on team nana, despite her literally being the youngest on the cast. Stephanie meanwhile was super confident and assumed her band would be the top three before talk turned to how obvious a target Icesis is. And well, I love her admitting that she knows everyone will come for her, so she just plans to destroy and never give them the chance.

Dripping winner’s energy all over the stage.

Vanity was busy tackling racism within the fandom in her verse before Brooke dropped by with Anjulie to see how they were going, with Anita glad to say g’day to the duo. Rita was charming and Victoria was thirsty and ready to show Anjulie a soggy bottom. Icesis meanwhile was silly and fun on her verse while Kendall was a little repetitive and Stephanie was straight up not interested in getting feedback from an actual popstar. SRV were up next with Brooke excited to see her sisters and well, it was clear that they are the team to beat despite Ra’Jah looking like she was about to drown in her lyrics like Toto have before her.

Team Nana – aka Touche – dropped by the mainstage to work through the choreography with Victoria taking the lead and despite keeping it simple, poor Rita got stuck in her head and spiraled. Stephanie assumed power in team Season 2 and filled Icesis with nerves, given she and Stephanie were in the bottom two in their girl groups. SRV meanwhile were perfect from start to finish and ready to slay.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls giddy with nervous energy, before talk turned to how everyone intends to eliminate people. And while everyone agreed they wanted to play fair, Rita knew it would be different when the moment actually happens. The dolls split up to get ready with Ra’Jah talking to the UK girls about the scene back home, with them agreeing it is quite segregated and they need to open themselves up more. Kendall praised Vancouver for always pushing for diverse lineups in their clubs before Miss Silky spoke about the horrors of racism in the US but how hopeful she was for things to change. Eventually.

Brooke and Anjulie took their places on the judges panel alongside Traci – donde esta, Brad?! – before Touche debuted their version of Bonjour! Hi! and well, it was just as camp and infectious as I hoped. Anita was a delight, Rita was a damn star and Victoria was so stupid and fun and ugh, I love it. Maple She-rups – a name Icesis earlier tried to kill – were up next and despite her sisters being way more confident, it was Icesis who owned the song and hit every piece of choreography. Oh and then SRV molly whopped the girls with Vanity stamping her place on the competition from the very first line. But that does not mean her sisters didn’t slay as they served all the charm and energy possible. It’s just that Vanity was THAT good.

On the Queen of the World runway Anita was glorious in a fuschia, frilled gown, despite it not really fitting that well. Rita served pineapple queen realness and well, it was stunning. Victoria paid homage to her name, covered in jam and cream and well, she was stunning. Kendall gave superhero glam in white, Icesis was glorious in a shimmering silver gown while Stephanie was stunning in a traditional Filipina look. Vanity was full Victorian realness in a golden quilted number, Ra’Jah was glorious in a purple pantsuit dripping in roses while Silky was glorious as the sexiest widow before revealing a stunning jeweled ball gown. And ugh, it is a toot.

Victoria, Icesis and Silky were sent to safety before Anita was praised for being high energy and sticking to herself, though read for blending into the background. Rita meanwhile received universal praise for everything she gave this week, before Kendall was read for being stuck in her head rather than bringing the fire to her performance and for looking good, but not on theme, on the runway. Stephanie explained her runway was an homage to her grandfather whose funeral she couldn’t attend due to COVID and while the judges loved it, everyone was nervous about her dropping the pot on her head. Including her. And they felt her performance was just going through the motions. Vanity rightly only got praise, with Brooke rightly announcing she murdered the entire challenge. And then she did that on the runway, so yeah, she is in the Top 2. Ra’Jah too was beloved, despite Brooke missing some of her lyrics. 

Despite Ra’Jah doing that though, it was Rita that joined Vanity in the Top 2 while Kendall and Stephanie found themselves up for elimination. 

Backstage the dolls congratulated the Top 2 on their performances, with Rita praising her bandmates for raising her up. Vanity meanwhile praised Silky and Ra’Jah for being such delightful role models for her and making her feel welcomed and able to slay. This led to Silky giving a beautiful speech about how welcome she feels and how grateful she is for her new sisters and ugh, I love it. Victoria checked in on the bottoms with Kendall admitting she knew she is better than how she performed, while Stephanie is heartbroken to potentially end her rudemption run already. Rita kikied with Kendall who admitted she was super nervous, though assured Rita she will do better and have her back, should the tables be turned. Stephanie meanwhile stuck to the task at hand, pointing out she did better in the challenge and as the only Asian queen on the cast, she wanted to represent her heritage. 

The safe girls meanwhile were busy gossiping with everyone agreeing it would be a close call and as such, Ra’Jah was thinking the decisions could get competitive. Kendall meanwhile was checking in with Vanity, telling her how disappointed she is and how she is super focused on turning it next time. With her worried she would be Pangina’d, which, no. But bless. Rita meanwhile told Stephanie that she loves Kendall, but eliminating her as a threat is still an option. Which obviously made Stephanie very nervous, given Rita gave her nothing.

After selecting their lipsticks, Vanity and Rita returned to the mainstage and took their places for the first lip sync of the season. And well, duh, Vanity was perfection from start to finish of Brand New Bitch by Anjulie, despite Rita leaning into her ridiculous drunk ‘80s diva character. As we saw in the performance, Vanity knows how to perform, splitting and flipping and hitting every lyric and well, it was great to watch her triumph and prove just why she made it to the top four of UK 3. As such, she rightly took out the first win of the season – with a cash prize to boot! – and promptly sent poor Kendall Gender home as the first boot.

Backstage Kendall was obviously disappointed, but given she is so kind, chill and literally made the finale less than a year ago, she quickly perked up and was glad Stephanie would get more of a chance to show what she can do. I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her that becoming a First Boot on an All Stars season is iconic and outside of winning, that is the way to do it. I mean, when you are in the company of Lemon, Pandora, Coco, Thorgy – on a technicality – Jasmine Masters, Derrick Barry and THE Serena ChaCha it is hard to be disappointed. As such, we laughed, toasted to her ongoing success and smashed a healthy and delicious Kendall Gendircher Muesli.

I know, I know – how can muesli be comforting, you ask? But I challenge you to try this and not fall in love. Fresh and light, while packed full of flavour, all while being healthy, it truly is the ultimate way to start your day.

Enjoy!

Kendall Gendircher Muesli
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
1 apple, cored and quartered
1 cup rolled oats
½ cup apple juice
½ cup natural or Greek yoghurt, plus extra to serve
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp honey
¼ cup flaked almonds
¼ cup walnuts
2 tbsp pepitas

Method
Grate the apple and mix it in a bowl with the rolled oats, juice, yoghurt, cinnamon and honey until well combined. Cover and pop in the fridge to infuse overnight.

When you’re ready to serve, add half the almonds, walnuts and pepitas to the muesli and stir to combine. Divide the mixture among the bowls and sprinkle with the remaining almonds, walnuts and pepitas, and some extra yoghurt. Then, devour.


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Hickory Clinton Smoked Ribs

Amer-she-can Week, Main

There are no prizes for people that guessed HRC – my fave triple-barrel – is the culmination of Amer-she-can Week. I mean, it was a week celebrating her historic nomination AND independence day after all.

But I was here on official duties – and again, no prizes if you guessed … because I’m too selfish/ a hoarder and wouldn’t give them out if I had any – I’m taking over from Nigella the wonder dog as HRC’s campaign manager AND, wait for it, will be appointed her Chief of Staff after she wins the election in November.

Now don’t worry, Nige and I haven’t fallen out – Annelie is still suffering from her cage-fight induced amnesia and despite excelling in her studies in medicine to cure her ailment, Nigella feels she is needed at home to offer Annelie more support and kindly shoulder tapped me to take over the campaign.

Hizza, Annelie and I have long been friends, having met in Yale in the ‘70s. Annelie was helping me run a scam while I worked as the Executive Vice Dean Chancellor – Hizza knew something odd was up, discovered the scam and got us sent to prison.

While you would think that going back to prison would be the worst, I knew that we’d spend our lives in and out of jail and had prepared for my return by stashing cigarettes around all prisons I had attending thus far, to use as a bartering tool if and when I returned – yes people, I am the person that inspired the character of Vee in OITNB.

Fun fact, I also faked my death by getting run over during an escape too. THIS IS NOT MY REAL NAME.

Anyway, back to Hiz.

We fully expected to go to priz again, so were more impressed by the fact that we were brought down by someone smarter than us and sought her out upon our releases. She was kind enough to take pity on those two junkie grifters she caught all those years before.

Seriously – wouldn’t my life make a killer movie on Lifetime?

Anyway, HRC saw our intelligence shine through our oft scummy behaviour and called upon us to assist in vetting and selecting most of Billy’s high-level positions, running her Senate campaign in the early noughties and acting as unofficial advisors during her time as Secretary of State.

Since we’ve been busy – what with her campaigning and me experiencing resurgent fame – it has been hard to be able to have a physical catch up. Thankfully when I got the call to replace Nigella, I quickly cleared my schedule and am ready to focus on the campaign.

But don’t worry guys, I’ll be able to keep up this anthropological endeavour thanks to time-travel!

Anywho, HRC has this renewed energy after finally securing the nomination and we spent our cook-up plotting the best way to bring down Trump – other than simply letting his mouth end his chances, obviously – and her preferred look for the sequel Clinton White House.

Remember, I’m also her interior designer.

So given the breadth of important topics we had to cover, I needed to make something hearty enough to fuel our beautiful minds and my Hickory Clinton Smoked Ribs are the only thing worthy of the honour.

 

hickory-clinton-smoked-ribs-1

 

While yes HRC had requested an international take on the celebratory week, I had to go with something all American for the next POTUS!

Smoky, sweet and a just damn delicious, the pork just falls of this slow-cooked ribs and into your salivating mouth. Seriously, these are amazing and smoking liquid is my new favourite thing.

You get smoked flavouring, you get smoked flavouring – EVERYONE GETS SMOKED FLAVOURING.

Anyway, happy Fourth of July / Amer-she-can Week – you’ll be seeing me whispering in HRC’s ear for the next few months like a hybrid of Gary and Amy. Enjoy!

 

hickory-clinton-smoked-ribs-2

 

Hickory Clinton Smoked Ribs
Serves: 4-6, dependent on sides and greed.

Ingredients
2 long racks of pork belly ribs
2 tbsp hickory smoking liquid
100ml orange juice, freshly squeezed
5-10 rosemary stalks

Dry rub
2 tbsp ground fennel seeds
5 cloves, ground
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tbsp smoked paprika
3 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
2 sprigs rosemary, leaves removed
5 cloves garlic, crushed
Salt and pepper, to season

BBQ sauce
½ cup ketchup
1 tsp hot sauce
¼ cup molasses
3 tbsp apple juice
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp balsamic vinegar
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp sage leaves, finely chopped
1 tbsp hickory smoking liquid

Method
Get out your glorious ribs and baste them on either sides with the smoking liquid, cover and refrigerate for about an hour.

Preheat the oven to 160°C.

Combine all the ingredients for the dry rub, remove the ribs from the fridge and rub the spices into the ribs – again on both sides. Spread some rosemary on the base of a large baking tray that will just fit the ribs and pour over the orange juice and any of the remaining hickory smoke you used the basting. Yes, it seems like a lot but I want the smoke to really hit me. Plus … it seems stronger before the cooking.

Anyway, cover the baking tray tightly with a couple of layers of foil – really tightly –  and bake in the oven for about 4 hours. You’ll know they are done when you try and lift the rack and they start to fall apart and make you salivate.

While the ribs are making your kitchen smell amazing, get to work on the BBQ sauce – which is super difficult – by combining all of the ingredients in a measuring jug.

When your ribs are done, remove from the oven and turn on the grill. Baste the ribs, liberally, with some barbecue sauce and grill – watching the entire time to avoid setting off the fire alarm and getting a massive fine – for about ten minutes or until they are brown, caramelly and sticky.

Devour with chips and slaw and any extra barbecue sauce.

 

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