Tyramen Banks

America's Next Top Model, Main, Poultry, Soup

Oh my GOD – you would not believe the week I have had! I was quietly resting off a post-boozing-with-Cath hangover on Thursday morning, minding my own business, when I received a call from my dear friend Tyra Banks.

“Ben, just wanted to check when your recap of our premiere would go live?”

I stayed quiet, hoping she would think I wasn’t there.

“Ben … Ben … BEN?”

“Um, you see, I wasn’t actu … ”

“I was rooting for you. We were ALL rooting for you.

“Tyra, you never invited me out to set so I couldn’t …

“Stop talking. Ben, stop talking. Be quiet, be quiet … STOP. I have never yelled at a friend like this before. I know you have a time machine, I
know zthat isn’t an excuse. I want us to work together to become next level fierce.

“When I yell at a friend like this it is because I care … “

“Sorry Tyra, I’ve got another call coming through. It is Naomi, she wants to … “

“Ben,” she said as sweetly as possible. “I love you, you’re fierce, you make me smize, you pop. Maybe I should pop … on the next plane and we should reconnect and discuss making this all work.”

True to her word, my girl Tyra arrived on my doorstep the next day, held me in her arms, apologised for yelling at me. Given we’re such old dear friends – we met whilst supermodelling, obvi – and the fact I was pretty cold bringing up Naomi Campbell, I forgave her. And yeah, I guess you could say this is happening. ANTM is joining the ranks of Survivor, Australian Survivor, Drag Race and Survivor New Zealand, and getting the whole culinary condolence treatment … and our friendship is renewed.

That, I guess, is the soothing power of my Tyramen Banks.

 

 

Crazy hot with a little bit of sweetness, this baby is everything you want from a ramen. And is super easy to whip up, making it look like you’ve been planning it for ages. Because I was, Ty, I was.

Enjoy!

 

 

Tyramen Banks

Serves: 2.
Ingredients

2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tsp tamari
400g egg noodle
500g chicken breasts
1L chicken stock
2 tbsp sriracha sauce
½ cup bean sprouts
½ red capsicum, finely sliced
5 spring onions, sliced
1 fresh red chilli, sliced
small handful of coriander, roughly chopped
1 lime, cut into wedges

Method
Combine the soy, tamari, minder ginger and chilli in a large bowl. Toss through the chicken, cover and leave to marinate for about eight hours or so. Or while you’re at work, for example.

Preheat the oven to 180C and prep all the ingredients.

When you’re ready to go, place the chicken on a lined baking tray and cook for about fifteen minutes, or until cooked through.

Meanwhile bring two saucepans of water to the boil and cook the eggs until soft in one, and the ramen noodles per packet instructions in another.

And in a third saucepan, cook the chicken stock and sriracha over medium heat until piping hot.

To serve, place the noodles on the bottom of your bowl, pour over the chilli stock and top with bean sprouts, capsicum, spring onion and chilli. Slice the chicken on an angle and place over the top before breaking the eggs in half and adding them to the bowl.

Garnish with coriander and a wedge of lime. Squeeze said lime in the broth before devouring, and curing all that ails ya.

 

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Piper Perapoutine

A decade of saying so, Gravy, Main, Party Food, Side, Snack

While Loz got me thinking about the beauty of Because I Said So – it is like a La La Land before its time … in that they were both snubbed by the SAGs for best ensemble cast – it was Ads that sealed the deal last week as we spoke fondly of our dear friend Piper Perabo.

I met Pipes on the set of Coyote Ugly where I was performing as Adam’s stand-in and body double. I’m not sure if it was beauty, our mutual hate for LeAnn Rimes – she stole my sixth husband and Pipes had my back – or the fact that love scenes are hella awkward and you’ve got to have a good rapport, but we instantly formed a friendship and I helped jettison her into the stratosphere of fame.

I haven’t been able to catch Pipes lately given her starring role in the underrated, sudsy gem Notorious, but thankfully its likely axing freed up her schedule and allowed her to drop by for a celebratory date.

But seriously, go through Pipes credits and see how many underrated classics she has been in – get this woman another damn hit.

Pipes and I quickly got to work gossiping about LeAnn and Tyra – we got yelled at like Tiffany on set – plotted ways to reboot the Cheaper by the Dozen franchise, bitched about the Don’s worse than even anticipated first week and toasted her classic 2007 film … over a big bowl of comforting Piper Perapoutine.

 

piper-perapoutine-1

 

Yes – poutine would be classified a comfort food, given the generously gooey curds, velvety gravy and, well, potato (when isn’t it comforting?), and this date is meant to be a celebration.

But when your modern classic is rated 5% on Rotten Tomatoes, you sometimes need a little comfort to get you in the mood.

Enjoy!

 

piper-perapoutine-2

 

Piper Perapoutine
Serves: 2 sad friends.

Ingredients
500g washed potatoes, russet work best but I’m not a dictator … like Trump
a good lug of olive oil
3 tbsp unsalted butter
3 tbsp flour
1 cup chicken stock
salt and pepper, to taste
a very generous handful of cheese curds (or baby bocconcini in a pinch like I had to, but make no mistake it is not the same)

Method
Preheat oven and two baking sheets to 220C and cut the potatoes into thick batons. When the oven has come to temperature, remove the baking sheets, line them, separate the potatoes across them, coat with a good lug of olive oil and return to the oven. Immediately reduce heat to 180C and bake for fifteen-twenty minutes, or until golden and crisp.

While the fries are baking, melt the butter over medium heat in a small saucepan. Whisk in the flour and cook for a minute or two. Remove from the heat and slowly whisk in stock until combined and smooth – remove it from the heat should avoid lumps, but just in case ok?

Return to the heat and bring to the boil, reduce heat low and simmer until thickened. You may need more stock to get it to the consistency you like, so go nuts and stop whenever it gets to your preference. Season generously and remove from the heat.

By this point your chips should be done, so remove from the oven, lightly salt and transfer to a plate. Top with the curds and drown in gravy – because comfort, duh – and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Adamper Garcia

Baking, Bread, Side, Snack

While Adam was a little bit offended that I called him a diva earlier in (which kind of proves my point, no?), there is nothing more unifying than joint anger. And thankfully we were both enraged and disheartened to find out that neither of us had won – let alone been nominated for – Australian of the Year.

I mean, sure neither of us are scientists that have made massive contributions to society, but Coyote Ugly is a modern classic and this blog is giving the under-connected a glimpse at life on the A-list. I don’t think the Australian of the Year committee are fully appreciating our value.

Anyway, we are both insanely offended, which meant the committee distracted Ads from my shade and we were able to celebrate ourselves – because evidently no one else was – and our country – who evidently hates us – like it were the good old days.

Not that I’m bitter though, or anything.

Ads and I haven’t seen each other in about a year, after he had to pull out of the stage production of Singin’ in the Rain due to a leg injury. I took over the role – at his request FYI, this isn’t a Showgirls situation – and our friendship had to play out over Skype only, while talking smack about our annoying co-stars.

After quickly reconnecting – sadly not physically, now that he is married – I got to work whipping up something delicious for our catch up. Given my love of his pillowy buns and the need to make something horrifically Australian, I just couldn’t go past a simple, classic Adamper Garcia.

 

adamper-garcia-1

 

Make no mistake, damper may be simply but it is insane delicious … though maybe that has a lot to do with the fact that they are essentially a giant scone. Doughy and salty, it is the perfect thing to sop up some butter and honey or golden syrup.

So yes Latrice, damper is essentially a biscuit – enjoy!

 

adamper-garcia-2

 

Adamper Garcia
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
3 cups flour
2 tbsp baking powder
pinch of salt
100g butter, chilled, cubed
¾ cup water

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine the flour, baking powder and salt in a bowl together. Add the cubed butter and rub together with your fingertips until it resembles wet sand / breadcrumbs – Adam and I made it look like a culinary version of Ghost and it was amazing.

Pour in the water and use a knife to cut across the mixture until it is all combined, adding extra if it appears dry.

Bring the dough together with your hands and shape into a large cob-esque loaf. Place on a lined baking sheet, cut a deep cross into the dough and bake in the oven for half an hour, or until golden and cooked through.

Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool slightly, before slathering in butter and your chosen condiments and devouring.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Coyote not-so-ugly

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

In light of the Commander in Queef’s inauguration over the weekend, I decided that I should be moderately thankful that I live in Australia and decided to invite over Adam Garcia to help my celebrate Australia Day in style. (Despite the fact Australia Day is offensive and divisive).

I first met Ads in the late ‘90s via my dear friend Steph Fry on the set of Wilde. Even early in his acting career, Ads could be a bit of a diva and demanded a stand-in / body-double for when we couldn’t be bothered to be on set.

Given I had a passing resemblance, loved to be naked and i’m narcissistic enough to want to bang someone that (at a stretch I can pretend) looks the same as me, I took the job and eventually he took me, and vice versa.

Anyway, our relationship fizzled out when his career did and we lost contact until he started judging Australian Dancing with the Stars and we reconnected.

What do I make that is patriotic enough for the pride of Australia?

Image source: Unknown but how could I go past it?

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.