Lemon Merrin Dungey Pie

Baking, Dessert, Pie, Sweets

When I first met Merrin Dungey – aka Mezza – she was cracking jokes with some of the lower members of the cast of Deep Impact. Despite being quite the high roller on set as T’s best-friend, I was drawn to her infectious joy and decided to take her under my wing.

Let me tell you, Mez is just what the doctor ordered – I feel joyous again!

Jubilant even.

Mez has long been someone I’ve relied on to lift my mood and in exchange, I’ve lifted her up the Hollywood ladder. After Deep Impact, I quickly introduced her to Sorks and got her a brief role on The West Wing, landed her a part with my – and I guess the world’s – Friends and bounced her too Chrissie Apps on Jesse before landing her the big fish that was Alias opposite my then boyfriend Bradley Cooper.

It had been a couple of years since we last caught up – I may have caused a scene on the set of Trophy Wife when she was guesting and was scared I had embarrassed her. Thankfully, I hadn’t but sadly that meant I had to struggle with my mood these last few years.

Mezza is trying to relax and make the most of her free time before reporting to the set of her new show, Conviction, so was down to party and bring the joy … which she did.

As did my Lemon Merrin Dungey Pie.

 

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I like my lemon curd like I like to act to attract men – tarty, smooth and soft and warm inside. Add the culinary equivalent of Merrin / valium, pastry, and a generous dollop of mallowy meringue and you’ve got the perfect dessert to eat away your feelings.

Enjoy!

 

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Lemon Merrin Dungey Pie
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
Pastry
1 ½ cups plain flour
2 tbsp icing sugar mixture
125g butter, chilled, coarsely chopped
2 ½ tbsp iced water

Filling and meringue aka all the rest
Lemon Kurd Cobain
1 cup cold water
¼ cup cornflour
8 large eggs, whites only
⅔ cups sugar
¼ teaspoon coarse salt

Method
In a larger bowl, sift the flour and icing sugar together. Using your fingertips, rub the butter into the flour until the mixture resembles wet sand. Add the water and mix with your hands until it just comes together … just.

Shape into a 2cm thick disc, wrap in cling and refrigerate for half an hour.

Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Remove the dough from the fridge and roll out until it is about 5mm thick, lay the dough in a 23cm pie dish, trim excess, line with baking paper and return to the fridge for half an hour.

Then add pastry weights and bake for 15 minutes … and then remove the pastry weights and baking paper and bake for a further 15 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Set aside to cool completely.

That was kind of militant right now, wasn’t it? Sorry.

Anyway, while the crust is cooling, get to work on the curd. Start by whisking together the water and cornflour, then go to the recipe and when it calls for the butter add the cornflour slurry.

Rather than chilling the curd, pour it straight into the crust, smoothing over with the back of a spoon and chill in the fridge for 3-5 hours – the pie, not you – or until it is set.

About half an hour before you’re over the pie chilling preheat the oven to 180°C … again.

While the oven is warming up for you, combine the whites, sugar and salt in a large, dry bowl of an electric mixer and whisk on high until stiff peaks form. Layer the meringue on the pie, sealing in the curd, and bake for about 5-10 minutes, or until the meringue starts to brown.

You could always use a blowtorch in lieu of the oven but I don’t, and nor should anybody else, trust me with a blowtorch.

Either way, once you’re done devour and feel happiness again.

RIP *spoiler* from OITNB.

 

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No more bad Francies

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

After being thoroughly disappointed by the world for most of last week (until Jay Z dropped by), followed by 13 hours spent watching OITNB season 4 which culminated in a horrific kick to the guts in the second last episode – seriously, I am still llorando – I decided that I needed to focus on the positive and bring a little bit of joy in the world.

But seriously, how fucked up was the end of episode 12?

Anyway, I have decided to become the personification of valium and bring joy, or at the very least a feeling of strange calm, to everyone on the planet.

As I am still reeling from Orlando and the culmination of the fictional prison overcrowding/under-trained guard perfect storm, I wanted to catch-up with someone that brings an infectious joy to my life (rather than infectious disease, FYI) so gave the dear Merrin Dungey a call.

What says while your turn as Ursula made me uncomfortable it will never take away from your majesty on the one-two punch that are Alias and the egregiously Emmy snubbed Summerland?

Picture source: Still from Alias.

 

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Tortéa Leoni Chips

Party Food, Side, Snack

My life is essentially a series of bad choices linked together, leaving a memoir made up of my trail of destruction. I mean, I am happy – I’ve got to sleep with countless attractive celebrities as I mingle with Hollywood’s elite – but I am fully aware that my actions can leave behind a trail of broken homes and hearts.

Essentially I’m Angelina Jolie and my life is a trail of Jens. Although, she really won in the end amirite?

Anyway, my dear, sweet Téa, thankfully, never allowed herself to be a victim of my debaucherous behaviour with Dave.

After making Tay-Tay a star, I introduced her to my protege Day-Day – love blossomed and a 90s power-couple was born. Then the noughties happened and Day-Day and I got naughty.

It was a very hard (don’t even go there) time for the three of us but Tay knew that we were both spiralling and that we weren’t trying to hurt her. It was a long process, working through all of our feelings after we sorted out our issues, but I will always be thankful to Tay for forgiving us both. When you screw up as often as I do, you get pretty good at apologising, I guess.

Tay, in my humble opinion, is one of the most underrated actresses of our time and I am so glad she wanted to drop by and plot her way back to the A-list. Yes, she is currently starring in the hit Hillary Clinton-lite TV show … but she is finally ready to go after my opus of getting her an Oscar.

I mean, sure, I could give her the seven I’ve stolen from my friends over the years but I really feel she has what it takes to win her own after an egregious snubbing for Jurassic Park III.

Tay was in such a good mood, have just wrapped the latest season of Madam Sexretary and felt ready to focus all of her energy on plotting and scheming her path to gold (oddly she chose to travel without Tim, but I guess that was a wise choice given our past). As you know, scheming makes me hungry, so I was quick to whip up a batch of my Tortéa Leoni Chips.

 

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There was once a time in my life where tortillas were solely used to make burritos, enchiladas or tacos. It was a terrible fucking existence even with Day-Day in my bed, if I’m going to be honest.

Crisp, light and delicious, tortilla chips are the perfect scheming snack.

Enjoy!

 

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Tortéa Leoni Chips
Serves: 6, with dips … obviously.

Ingredients
10 flour tortillas, cut into triangles
vegetable oil

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Arrange triangles/strips on two large baking sheets. Brush the chips with vegetable oil and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until crisp, puffed and golden.

Devour with your favourite dips. Salsa Struthers is a pretty good option, FYI.

Obviously you could deep fry them, but you know I’m terrified of pots of oil.

 

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The Naked Truth hurts

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

There are not many people on the planet that would forgive the man whose sex addiction synced with their husband’s, leading to a torrid and downright filthy affair.

My dear, understanding, patient and forgiving friend Téa Leoni, however, is one of them.

I first connected with good Tay-Tay, in the early 90s when I was part of Geena Davis’ entourage. Tay had a bit-part in A League of Their Own and we bonded over our mutual-hatred of Madonna on set. Seeing the talent within her, I took her under my wing and endeavoured to make her a star.

A big, big fucking star!

If only I hadn’t fu … nevermind.

What says thank you for forgiving my indiscretion with your husband and continuing with our beautiful friendship?

Picture source: Kirk McKoy / Los Angeles Times.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.