Creamed John O’Hurleeks

12 days of Festivus for the rest of us, Side, Vegetarian

We’re rapidly approaching the pointy end of our 12 Days of Festivus celebrations *sighs whilst simultaneously taking a deep breath* after catching up with Jase, Heids, Barn, Liz, Wayne, Mike and Pat, so I thought it was high time to charge our final side dish on the Peterman account.

Yas bish, my dear friend John O’Hurley is today’s guest of honour.

While I didn’t meet John-John until he walked onto the Seinfeld set, our friendship was instantaneous. Sure sharing the same sense of humour helped that cause, it was our passion for talking like a game-show announcer that truly brought us together.

Now while that eventually lead to a massive falling out after he got the host role on To Tell The Truth – “Just tell me John, the truth, why did you go behind my fucking back,” I screamed before lunging at him and pulling him in a pool La La Land slash Dynasty style – we were brought back together by my dear friend Kelly Monaco who creamed him in the first season of Dancing with the Stars.

Just don’t tell him it was me that rigged the show in her favour.

In any event, I like to rub that loss in as often as possible – “Oh calm down Johnny, I’m just joking. I got over you snatching my game show!” – so always whip up some Creamed John O’Hurleeks whenever he is in town.

 

 

I feel it is kind of redundant to tease this baby given the majesty of the ingredients list, but let me just say, this side is perfection. It is also probably really bad for your cholesterol … but choose your choice, you do you boo, etc.

Enjoy!

 

 

Creamed John O’Hurleeks
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
2 tbsp butter
4 leeks, thinly sliced
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup cream
salt and pepper, to taste
cayenne pepper, to taste

Method
Melt the butter in a skillet over medium heat until foamy. Add the leeks and cook for 15 minutes until softened and sweet. Add the stock, reduce heat to low and simmer for half an hour, stirring occasionally.

Stir through the cream, salt, pepper and cayenne and cook for a further fifteen minutes, or until gloriously reduced. Serve immediately and then devour, greedily.

 

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Tortéa Leoni Chips

Party Food, Side, Snack

My life is essentially a series of bad choices linked together, leaving a memoir made up of my trail of destruction. I mean, I am happy – I’ve got to sleep with countless attractive celebrities as I mingle with Hollywood’s elite – but I am fully aware that my actions can leave behind a trail of broken homes and hearts.

Essentially I’m Angelina Jolie and my life is a trail of Jens. Although, she really won in the end amirite?

Anyway, my dear, sweet Téa, thankfully, never allowed herself to be a victim of my debaucherous behaviour with Dave.

After making Tay-Tay a star, I introduced her to my protege Day-Day – love blossomed and a 90s power-couple was born. Then the noughties happened and Day-Day and I got naughty.

It was a very hard (don’t even go there) time for the three of us but Tay knew that we were both spiralling and that we weren’t trying to hurt her. It was a long process, working through all of our feelings after we sorted out our issues, but I will always be thankful to Tay for forgiving us both. When you screw up as often as I do, you get pretty good at apologising, I guess.

Tay, in my humble opinion, is one of the most underrated actresses of our time and I am so glad she wanted to drop by and plot her way back to the A-list. Yes, she is currently starring in the hit Hillary Clinton-lite TV show … but she is finally ready to go after my opus of getting her an Oscar.

I mean, sure, I could give her the seven I’ve stolen from my friends over the years but I really feel she has what it takes to win her own after an egregious snubbing for Jurassic Park III.

Tay was in such a good mood, have just wrapped the latest season of Madam Sexretary and felt ready to focus all of her energy on plotting and scheming her path to gold (oddly she chose to travel without Tim, but I guess that was a wise choice given our past). As you know, scheming makes me hungry, so I was quick to whip up a batch of my Tortéa Leoni Chips.

 

tortea-leoni-chips-1

 

There was once a time in my life where tortillas were solely used to make burritos, enchiladas or tacos. It was a terrible fucking existence even with Day-Day in my bed, if I’m going to be honest.

Crisp, light and delicious, tortilla chips are the perfect scheming snack.

Enjoy!

 

tortea-leoni-chips-2

 

Tortéa Leoni Chips
Serves: 6, with dips … obviously.

Ingredients
10 flour tortillas, cut into triangles
vegetable oil

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Arrange triangles/strips on two large baking sheets. Brush the chips with vegetable oil and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until crisp, puffed and golden.

Devour with your favourite dips. Salsa Struthers is a pretty good option, FYI.

Obviously you could deep fry them, but you know I’m terrified of pots of oil.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

The Naked Truth hurts

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

There are not many people on the planet that would forgive the man whose sex addiction synced with their husband’s, leading to a torrid and downright filthy affair.

My dear, understanding, patient and forgiving friend Téa Leoni, however, is one of them.

I first connected with good Tay-Tay, in the early 90s when I was part of Geena Davis’ entourage. Tay had a bit-part in A League of Their Own and we bonded over our mutual-hatred of Madonna on set. Seeing the talent within her, I took her under my wing and endeavoured to make her a star.

A big, big fucking star!

If only I hadn’t fu … nevermind.

What says thank you for forgiving my indiscretion with your husband and continuing with our beautiful friendship?

Picture source: Kirk McKoy / Los Angeles Times.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.