Alias

Scott Batsit Bake

Halloween, Main, Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Where do I begin with my dear friend Scott Adsit? After meeting at Second City in the late 80s, we quickly became friends … until his superior talent led to him landing a role in the permanent cast over me in the 90s leading to an epic feud, second only to Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.

While I quickly moved on from missing out on the role, it took me a far longer time to end our one-sided feud – it snowballed beyond what even I would consider rational. Eventually we landed in the same room in the early 00s when he guested on Friends – I was part of Jen An’s entourage at the time (I really must catch her soon), leading to my time with Judah.

My dear friend Denise Richards – whom I also need to catch-up with – was guesting in the same episode, heard of our beef and worked overtime to clear the air between us and help us heal. The woman is an absolute miracle worker – I mean between this and Charlie Sheen, she should be sainted – and we were able to mend the rift and have been friends ever since.

When Teens and I sat down to start working on 30 Rock – did I mentioned I ghost-co-created the show? – we knew there was only one person who could play the role of Pete. He was also up for a part in Sorkie’s West Wing follow up, so I did a bit of covert sabotage to ensure Teens’ show would get its man.

Obviously don’t ever tell Teens or Scott, ok?

Our time spent together on the 30 Rock set after my life ban from actual 30 Rock was lifted would have to go down as the greatest period of my life, as we fully reconnected and got back to the friendship we had when we were both starting out, all that time ago in the 80s.

I haven’t had the chance to see much of Scott lately, with him busy recurring in the Deadpool comics and becoming the modern Disney icon that is Baymax, so it was wonderful to be able to take some time out to reconnect and scare the absolute shit out of one another. FYI, that is kind of our thing.

Want to play into our scaring contest in a low key way, I obviously set about whipping up a deceptively wicked Scott Batsit Bake.

 

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What appears to be a sweet, delicate pasta bake made to resemble the corpses of albino bats, is actually a fiery death-trap, hotter than molten lava.

Let me tell you, it scared him going in … and sure as hell gave him a fright when it came out.

Enjoy – it may be hot, but it is also freaking delicious … promise!

 

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Scott Batsit Bake
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g bow-tie pasta
2 extra hot chorizos, roughly chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
400g can diced tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato paste
¼ tsp dried oregano
pinch of raw caster sugar
¼ cup black olives, pitted and sliced
handful of mushrooms, sliced
1 tbsp chilli paste or hot sauce … or more, if trying to scare your friend (or less if you hate chilli)
1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated

Method
Preheat oven to 180C and cook pasta as per packet instructions, drain and set aside.

While they are getting freaky, add the chopped chorizo to a large pan over medium heat and fry until cooked through and the smoky oil is released. Add the garlic and onion and cook for a further minute or two. Stir through the tomatoes, paste, oregano, sugar, olives, mushroom and chilli, and cook for a further five minutes.

Remove the pan from the heat, season generously and stir through the pasta. When you’re just about to transfer to a baking dish, also stir through half of the mozzarella to ensure you have plenty of spooky cobwebs throughout, while eating. Then, obviously, transfer to a baking dish.

Top with the remaining cheeses and bake for half an hour, or until bubbling – like a cauldron – and crisp.

Devour … with more hot sauce, if you dare.

 

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Lemon Merrin Dungey Pie

Baking, Dessert, Pie, Sweets

When I first met Merrin Dungey – aka Mezza – she was cracking jokes with some of the lower members of the cast of Deep Impact. Despite being quite the high roller on set as T’s best-friend, I was drawn to her infectious joy and decided to take her under my wing.

Let me tell you, Mez is just what the doctor ordered – I feel joyous again!

Jubilant even.

Mez has long been someone I’ve relied on to lift my mood and in exchange, I’ve lifted her up the Hollywood ladder. After Deep Impact, I quickly introduced her to Sorks and got her a brief role on The West Wing, landed her a part with my – and I guess the world’s – Friends and bounced her too Chrissie Apps on Jesse before landing her the big fish that was Alias opposite my then boyfriend Bradley Cooper.

It had been a couple of years since we last caught up – I may have caused a scene on the set of Trophy Wife when she was guesting and was scared I had embarrassed her. Thankfully, I hadn’t but sadly that meant I had to struggle with my mood these last few years.

Mezza is trying to relax and make the most of her free time before reporting to the set of her new show, Conviction, so was down to party and bring the joy … which she did.

As did my Lemon Merrin Dungey Pie.

 

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I like my lemon curd like I like to act to attract men – tarty, smooth and soft and warm inside. Add the culinary equivalent of Merrin / valium, pastry, and a generous dollop of mallowy meringue and you’ve got the perfect dessert to eat away your feelings.

Enjoy!

 

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Lemon Merrin Dungey Pie
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
Pastry
1 ½ cups plain flour
2 tbsp icing sugar mixture
125g butter, chilled, coarsely chopped
2 ½ tbsp iced water

Filling and meringue aka all the rest
Lemon Kurd Cobain
1 cup cold water
¼ cup cornflour
8 large eggs, whites only
⅔ cups sugar
¼ teaspoon coarse salt

Method
In a larger bowl, sift the flour and icing sugar together. Using your fingertips, rub the butter into the flour until the mixture resembles wet sand. Add the water and mix with your hands until it just comes together … just.

Shape into a 2cm thick disc, wrap in cling and refrigerate for half an hour.

Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Remove the dough from the fridge and roll out until it is about 5mm thick, lay the dough in a 23cm pie dish, trim excess, line with baking paper and return to the fridge for half an hour.

Then add pastry weights and bake for 15 minutes … and then remove the pastry weights and baking paper and bake for a further 15 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Set aside to cool completely.

That was kind of militant right now, wasn’t it? Sorry.

Anyway, while the crust is cooling, get to work on the curd. Start by whisking together the water and cornflour, then go to the recipe and when it calls for the butter add the cornflour slurry.

Rather than chilling the curd, pour it straight into the crust, smoothing over with the back of a spoon and chill in the fridge for 3-5 hours – the pie, not you – or until it is set.

About half an hour before you’re over the pie chilling preheat the oven to 180°C … again.

While the oven is warming up for you, combine the whites, sugar and salt in a large, dry bowl of an electric mixer and whisk on high until stiff peaks form. Layer the meringue on the pie, sealing in the curd, and bake for about 5-10 minutes, or until the meringue starts to brown.

You could always use a blowtorch in lieu of the oven but I don’t, and nor should anybody else, trust me with a blowtorch.

Either way, once you’re done devour and feel happiness again.

RIP *spoiler* from OITNB.

 

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No more bad Francies

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

After being thoroughly disappointed by the world for most of last week (until Jay Z dropped by), followed by 13 hours spent watching OITNB season 4 which culminated in a horrific kick to the guts in the second last episode – seriously, I am still llorando – I decided that I needed to focus on the positive and bring a little bit of joy in the world.

But seriously, how fucked up was the end of episode 12?

Anyway, I have decided to become the personification of valium and bring joy, or at the very least a feeling of strange calm, to everyone on the planet.

As I am still reeling from Orlando and the culmination of the fictional prison overcrowding/under-trained guard perfect storm, I wanted to catch-up with someone that brings an infectious joy to my life (rather than infectious disease, FYI) so gave the dear Merrin Dungey a call.

What says while your turn as Ursula made me uncomfortable it will never take away from your majesty on the one-two punch that are Alias and the egregiously Emmy snubbed Summerland?

Picture source: Still from Alias.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.