Christoffee Waltz

Dessert, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold, Snack, Sweets

After catching up with Em, Reese, Gustavo, Tilda and Miloš for this year’s Oscar Gold celebration Call Me By Your Gold, I knew there was only one person I could invite over to finish things off – my dear friend Christoph Waltz.

You see with two people – Rachel Weisz and my love Mahershala – going for two for two like him, I knew there was no one better to have over.

While I’ve only know Chris for a decade, our bond is probably one of the relationships I’m most proud of. I was on the set of Inglourious Basterds visiting Brad and was immediately blown away by his talent, so forced him to hire me as his Oscar strategist.

Which may or may not be why he is two from two nominations.

Speaking of which, it is time to finally explore the last four categories. We feel Film Editing will go to Bohemian Rhapsody for the Live Aid sequence alone, though wouldn’t be shocked if BlackkKlansman surprises on its way to a string of wins. Poor Rach will be defeated in Best Supporting Actress by Regina King, though TBH I wouldn’t be shocked if she, Em and Ames are beaten by Marina De Tavira. Best Supporting Actor will see Mahershala follow in Chris’ shoes, as much as I desperately want to see Richard E. Grant take it out. We were both torn when it came to Best Picture, assuming it is a foregone conclusion that Roma will take this one however my gut says we’ll be witnessing some upsets, and I wouldn’t be shocked to see Black Panther win.

Full disclosure, I’ve desperately tried to have Chris over for the last two Oscar Gold celebrations however I’ve never been able to master the Christoffee Waltz and have kicked him out. Not this year, however!

 

 

Finally, FINALLY, I’ve managed to master the art of toffee making and TBH, I am feeling super smug. Super sweet and so hard it could chip a mouth full of teeth, this is the perfect toffee for snackin’, garnishin’ or simply eatin’. I guess.

Enjoy!

 

 

Christoffee Waltz
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 cup caster sugar
¼ cup water

Method
Combine the sugar and water in a large saucepan and cook over low heat until the sugar dissolves.

Up the heat to medium and cook without stirring until a candy thermometer reaches 145C.

Immediately pour the piping hot syrup on a lined baking sheet and leave to set for ten minutes. Before cracking and devouring.

 

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Dave Coulieraid

Drink

As you know, I‘ve got a very extensive history with the cast of Full House. While I spent most of my time as an Olsen triplet and lusting after Uncle Jesse, I became extremely close with the dear, sweet Dave Coulier.

He saw me for the comedy genius that I am – plus he had also felt the sting of being kicked out of 30 Rock by Lorne Michaels – and took me under his wing and tried to mentor my career. Which obviously was both sweet and unnecessary.

While there was a brief falling out after I sided with Alanis during their break-up – and then co-wrote You Oughta Know about him – time healed our wounds, our friendship was renewed and the I was able to convince him to join Fuller House.

Given that they are currently in production on the third season of the questionable reboot, Dave didn’t have much time to spare for a catch-up … but given our much I mean to him, he jumped on the first plane to reconnect over a quick drink.

As exhausted as we both are at the moment, it was just such a joy to hang, relax and catch-up on what we’ve been up to … and try to find a way out of his Fuller House contract.

We may not have been successful with the latter but we both felt refreshed after downing a Dave Coulieraid.

 

 

Now sure, this technically isn’t a recipe – you add cordial to water and drink – but when the man who birthed Mr. Woodchuck begs to be included, you do it. Plus, we used to make jokes about not drinking any of Candace’s kool aid, so he definitely earned it.

So enjoy!

 

 

Dave Coulieraid
Serves: 2 friends, just hanging out.

Ingredients
cordial / kool-aid
water

Method
Combine cordial / kool-aid with cold water.

Mix.

Add ice.

Down.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Scott Batsit Bake

Halloween, Main, Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Where do I begin with my dear friend Scott Adsit? After meeting at Second City in the late 80s, we quickly became friends … until his superior talent led to him landing a role in the permanent cast over me in the 90s leading to an epic feud, second only to Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.

While I quickly moved on from missing out on the role, it took me a far longer time to end our one-sided feud – it snowballed beyond what even I would consider rational. Eventually we landed in the same room in the early 00s when he guested on Friends – I was part of Jen An’s entourage at the time (I really must catch her soon), leading to my time with Judah.

My dear friend Denise Richards – whom I also need to catch-up with – was guesting in the same episode, heard of our beef and worked overtime to clear the air between us and help us heal. The woman is an absolute miracle worker – I mean between this and Charlie Sheen, she should be sainted – and we were able to mend the rift and have been friends ever since.

When Teens and I sat down to start working on 30 Rock – did I mentioned I ghost-co-created the show? – we knew there was only one person who could play the role of Pete. He was also up for a part in Sorkie’s West Wing follow up, so I did a bit of covert sabotage to ensure Teens’ show would get its man.

Obviously don’t ever tell Teens or Scott, ok?

Our time spent together on the 30 Rock set after my life ban from actual 30 Rock was lifted would have to go down as the greatest period of my life, as we fully reconnected and got back to the friendship we had when we were both starting out, all that time ago in the 80s.

I haven’t had the chance to see much of Scott lately, with him busy recurring in the Deadpool comics and becoming the modern Disney icon that is Baymax, so it was wonderful to be able to take some time out to reconnect and scare the absolute shit out of one another. FYI, that is kind of our thing.

Want to play into our scaring contest in a low key way, I obviously set about whipping up a deceptively wicked Scott Batsit Bake.

 

scott-batsit-bake-1

 

What appears to be a sweet, delicate pasta bake made to resemble the corpses of albino bats, is actually a fiery death-trap, hotter than molten lava.

Let me tell you, it scared him going in … and sure as hell gave him a fright when it came out.

Enjoy – it may be hot, but it is also freaking delicious … promise!

 

scott-batsit-bake-2

 

Scott Batsit Bake
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g bow-tie pasta
2 extra hot chorizos, roughly chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
400g can diced tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato paste
¼ tsp dried oregano
pinch of raw caster sugar
¼ cup black olives, pitted and sliced
handful of mushrooms, sliced
1 tbsp chilli paste or hot sauce … or more, if trying to scare your friend (or less if you hate chilli)
1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated

Method
Preheat oven to 180C and cook pasta as per packet instructions, drain and set aside.

While they are getting freaky, add the chopped chorizo to a large pan over medium heat and fry until cooked through and the smoky oil is released. Add the garlic and onion and cook for a further minute or two. Stir through the tomatoes, paste, oregano, sugar, olives, mushroom and chilli, and cook for a further five minutes.

Remove the pan from the heat, season generously and stir through the pasta. When you’re just about to transfer to a baking dish, also stir through half of the mozzarella to ensure you have plenty of spooky cobwebs throughout, while eating. Then, obviously, transfer to a baking dish.

Top with the remaining cheeses and bake for half an hour, or until bubbling – like a cauldron – and crisp.

Devour … with more hot sauce, if you dare.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.