The Surreal Life

Cherry Manthey Float

Cherry Manthey Float

Drink, Survivor, Survivor: All Stars, Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, Survivor: The Australian Outback

While I will allow people to talk some light smack behind Jenna Lewis’ back with regards to her status as an icon of the show, there is no denying that Jerri Manthey is a damn icon of the game and should be celebrated at any and all occasions.

I mean, I have even brought up Queen Jerri at funerals – thankfully not Rudy’s – as I thought that she deserved a cheeky moment of adoration during the eulogy.

But seriously, as much as Kim played a dominant game on her way to victory, Sandra is the undisputed Queen thanks to her two from two (on her first two tries) victories, Denise attended every tribal during her season and Parvati always manages to make a deep run despite a target, the greatest thing Survivor has gifted us in the last two decades is the majestic three season arc of Jerri Manthey.

From hated villain trying to woo American dreamboat Colby Donaldson – who kinda bullied her all across the Outback and led her on – to reviled returnee that was booed off the stage in All Stars, she then returned in the modern era for Heroes vs. Villains, became the hero we all rooted for and was mere seconds away from winning final immunity and snatching the game.

On top of that, she also does consistently magnificent hat work. Which does matter.

Given my passionately love for her, Jerri was thrilled to repay the favour and help me countdown to the season celebrating two of her fellow villains in Sandy and Boston Rob. While I didn’t get her to commit to appearing in a future legends season given she too loves her three season arc as is, she was happy to down a Cherry Manthey Float or two and toast to another season.

 

Cherry Manthey Float

 

Creamy and sweet … yet a little bit wrong, a float – or spider, as they are known in Australia – always fills me with a little bit of joy. Plus, after downing the syrupy, creamy nectar you get to down a little ice cream surprise and that is something that always makes me feel happy. Like Queen Jerri.

Enjoy!

 

Cherry Manthey Float

 

Cherry Manthey Float
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
600ml cherry cola
1 cup Vanilla Ice Cream

Method
Place a huge scoop of ice cream in the bottom of two glasses.

Top with cherry cola.

Down, childishly.

 

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Prawny Dumplaens

Main, Seafood, Street Food, Tapas

Now I know my reveal yesterday focused on Whitesnake and that was such a small part of her life, but the Here I Go Again film clip has had the most profound impact on my life and TBH, shaped the man I am today. And that is all because of the way she danced on the damn bonnet of moving cars.

And it lead me to the beautiful friendship we share today.

As soon as I saw her cartwheel from car to car, I knew that that is what I wanted to do with my life so I reached out – repeatedly – until she agreed to take me under her wing. After dropping the restraining order she got out on me on account of said repeated reaching out slash breaking on to her property slash dancing on the cars in her garage.

Thankfully she was moved by me breaking down into tears, begging for her to help me be more like her whilst I was getting thrown in the back of the police car, followed me to the station, bailed me out and helped me reach my dream of dance perfection.

Fun fact: she said it was the backflip I did off the side of the car while slipping out of the handcuffs – Countess LuAnn style – that made her realise I was ripe for mentoring.

Anyway, I have gone way off topic. Tawny and I have been busy the last few years, so this was our first chance to catch-up in what felt like forever. And boy was it special – we laughed about the good old days, pulled out some of our choreography and smashed what felt like a tonne of Prawny Dumplaens.

 

 

I’ve long spoken of my disgust for all things seafood, but like Carrie before her, I am willing to work through it for my dear Tawny. Plus, these doughy delights are so jam packed with ginger that the prawn tastes delicate, and even I can stomach it. Which is high praise.

Enjoy!

 

 

Prawny Dumplaens
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
200g uncooked prawn meat – aka peeled and deveined – finely chopped
2 shallots, thinly slicely
1 tbsp fresh ginger, minced
1 tbsp coriander leaves, finely chopped
1 tbsp oyster sauce
1 red chilli, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste
20 gow gee wrappers

Method
Combine the prawn, shallot, ginger, coriander, oyster sauce and chilli in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Working a quarter of the wrappers at a time, lay them on a clean, dry bench. Place a tablespoon of filling in the centre of each, brush around the edges with water and crimp to close. Repeat the process until all the wrappers and/or filling is used up.

To cook, prep a steamer, line with a small piece of baking paper and cook in batches for 15-20 minutes, or until cooked through.

Devour immediately with plenty of soy and chilli sauce.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Here I Go Again

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

TBH, I don’t always know where I’m goin’ and nor am I even sure I know where I’ve been. Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday, I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time.

JK Kimora, this whole patch of cyberspace is made to waste my time. So here I go again, here I go again.

Tho’ I keep searching for an answer and have no idea what I’m looking for – oh Lord – I know my dear Tawny can give me, strength to carry on. ‘Cause I know won’t let me walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again, though not on my own. So what do I make my dear friend when she comes down the only road I’ve called home – this year – and makes sure I’m not like a drifter that was born to walk alone?

Please help: I need to make up my mind, I can’t waste no more time.

Image source: Whitesnake film clip.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Dave Coulieraid

Drink

As you know, I‘ve got a very extensive history with the cast of Full House. While I spent most of my time as an Olsen triplet and lusting after Uncle Jesse, I became extremely close with the dear, sweet Dave Coulier.

He saw me for the comedy genius that I am – plus he had also felt the sting of being kicked out of 30 Rock by Lorne Michaels – and took me under his wing and tried to mentor my career. Which obviously was both sweet and unnecessary.

While there was a brief falling out after I sided with Alanis during their break-up – and then co-wrote You Oughta Know about him – time healed our wounds, our friendship was renewed and the I was able to convince him to join Fuller House.

Given that they are currently in production on the third season of the questionable reboot, Dave didn’t have much time to spare for a catch-up … but given our much I mean to him, he jumped on the first plane to reconnect over a quick drink.

As exhausted as we both are at the moment, it was just such a joy to hang, relax and catch-up on what we’ve been up to … and try to find a way out of his Fuller House contract.

We may not have been successful with the latter but we both felt refreshed after downing a Dave Coulieraid.

 

 

Now sure, this technically isn’t a recipe – you add cordial to water and drink – but when the man who birthed Mr. Woodchuck begs to be included, you do it. Plus, we used to make jokes about not drinking any of Candace’s kool aid, so he definitely earned it.

So enjoy!

 

 

Dave Coulieraid
Serves: 2 friends, just hanging out.

Ingredients
cordial / kool-aid
water

Method
Combine cordial / kool-aid with cold water.

Mix.

Add ice.

Down.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Muffins Florentine Henderson

Breakfast, Snack

Ok, so I have another confession to make – not only did Florence harbour me, quite literally, on her boat but we also had a clandestine affair in the early 70s. You know those rumours about her and Barry Williams? Yep, that was me … I just used him as a cover in ye-olde-TMZ.

While we had a very ugly break-up when she discovered me in the Brady bed with Robert Reed, she was kind enough to accept my apology when I was working through the steps during one of my earliest stints in Promises in the 80s.

Be it plastic surgery or her joie de vivre, Flo hasn’t changed a bit since she last came to town and is the same sweetheart that we grew to love on television. Instead of chastising me for ruining Annelie’s memory, she leant a supportive ear and offered no judgement.

As well as being in town for her annual visit, Flo was very excited by the possibility of us collaborating on her Retirement Living cooking show given my extensive connections and culinary skill. While I am reluctant to parlay these wealths it televisual fame and fortune which would inevitably lead to an Emmy, a spot on Survivor and a guest-judging spot on RuPaul’s Drag Race, I humoured Flo that I am ready to take the leap as it does make sense.

I was still reticent about my feelings regarding her idea after sleeping on her idea, my Muffins Florentine Henderson were the perfect dish to gloss over the planning.

 

Muffins Florentine Henderson-1

 

While they aren’t pretty, Muffins Florentine Henderson were our go-to post-coital snack in the Brady days and eventually became a family tradition for Christmas breakfast as nothing says festive quite like the cheesey and delicious post-freaky with Flo snack.

Enjoy!

 

Muffins Florentine Henderson-2

 

Muffins Florentine Henderson
Serves: 6/1, dependent on greed.

Ingredients
1 ½  cup chopped frozen spinach
2 onions, finely chopped
⅔ cup grated cheese
⅓ cup grated parmesan cheese
⅓ cup mayonnaise
salt and pepper
6 muffins, halved

Method
Completely drain the spinach and combine in a large bowl with the onion, cheeses and mayo, seasoning generously and not as generously, of the pepper and salt respectively. Leave to rest. This can be done a day ahead and left in the fridge in a air-tight container.

When you’re almost ready to eat, pre-heat the oven to 180°C and toast the muffin halves. Spoon a generous dollop of the cheesey spinach mixture on top. Repeating the process until they are all done.

Bake in the oven for 15-20 minutes or until golden and the cheese is bubbling.

Remove and leave to set/cool for a few minutes and then devour, unless you’re keen with third degree cheese burns in which case just dig right in.

I do not advise that though as I lost some feeling in my mouth doing that.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Much more than a hunch

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Mercury’s latest retrograde has been a complete bunch of balls, except not in a good way. By that, it is not the hit Jenna Maroney song and it isn’t a sea of scrotums.

Let’s just reflect on that beautiful phrase, sea of scrotums – what an image!

Anywho, trying to work through the guilt of causing Annelie’s amnesia after sabotaging her cage fight has been really difficult on me and that cheeky little bugger Mercury has made it even harder but thankfully it is about to start moving forward again … and just in time for Florence Henderson to drop by.

I first connected with Flo when I came to town in the late 50s to work on the Today show where she beat me to the chauvinistic role as a Today Girl. While I missed the opportunity, my story would go on to inspire the movies Tootsie and Mrs. Doubtfire.

We stayed close over the decades – at times, very close – with Flo hiding me on her boat after I was involved in a televised car chase in my white Bronco in the early 90s.

No, not that Bronco … they just thought it was that Bronco and I was already evading arrest for lewd conduct with Divine Brown (I recommended her to Hugh).

What says thanks for always having my back … or getting me on it?

Picture source: ABC.com.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Charros

Dessert, Snack, Sweets

I tell you, Charo is an absolute miracle worker on the soul!

After a tumultuous month with Annelie engaged in a legal battle with Brandi Glanville after giving her the information which lead to Fish-Cooch-gate, foiling Kelly Rutherford’s attempts to gain back custody of her children and blocking Bryan Adam’s next album from seeing the light of day, and where I was involved in a non-deliberate-or-scam-related hit and run (the car hit, I ran … to a bar), we have been feeling a bit down, despondent and in need of a lift. Charo, petite as she may be, had us soaring higher than her flamenco riffs at the end of our catch-up.

Charo is a rarity amongst our friendships, in that we have never once been engaged in a fight, legal battle or had an ill word to say of one another in our five decade friendship. Some would argue that the mutual secrets of our actual ages make us scared to cross each other, but I would argue that her Spanish charm is too infectious. I mean, come on, she’s Charo!

Even during our time working on The Love Boat, where Annelie and I were heavily addicted to crack cocaine and invented the drug Bath Salts in the Captain’s Suite with Shirley Jones, Charo embraced us with warmth and tried to help us achieve our best.

Charo walked into Annelie’s place and could tell we were both down (Bryan’s album still had a release date and I realised I forgot to get the details of the man who legitimately ran me down), immediately breaking into an epic four and a half hour flamenco guitar solo about hope, despair and perseverance which turned our frowns upside down.

The only way to repay our dear friend, mentor and role-model and celebrate her multiple birthdays, was to whip up the biggest batch of Charros possible, while we plotted ways that Ben could win back JVDB’s love after he ruined a Beek Jeans event three years ago.

 

Charros_1

 

While Charros are good with a nice thick, chilli chocolate sauce our personal favourite accompaniment is Dulce de Nick Lachey. It is thick, sweet and makes you want to smack your hands/face in it until Charo can teach you the sign language for it / work you out of your funk.

Enjoy!

 

Charros_2

 

Charros
Serves: 3 friends plotting to woo back JVDB.

Ingredients
¼ cup caster sugar
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 cup plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp olive oil
1 cup boiled water
corn or vegetable oil, for-a deep-fryin’

Method
Mix the sugar and cinnamon in a wide, shallow dish and place aside (this is for the coatin’).

In a large, heatproof bowl combine the flour and the baking powder, and then beat in the olive oil and boiled water. Keep mixing until the dough comes together, it will be warm and sticking so don’t let that scare you. Leave the dough to rest for 10 minutes, while you heat the oil over low/medium heat in a medium saucepan (the oil should come up a third of the way, remember I am pretty scared of deep fryin’).

When the oil appears hot enough, toss in a cube of bread and see if it sizzles and browns. If it browns in about 30 seconds, you’re good to go. Keep watch on the hot oil pan at all times, you never know when it can go nuts.

Preheat the oven to 80°C.

Load up a piping bag with a large star shaped nozzle (if you don’t have a star nozzle, like me, a plain one won’t matter. They will just look like strange little nuggets that taste delicious) and fill it with the dough. Squeeze lengths, about 6-8cm long, of dough into the hot oil, snipping them off with a pair of scissors as you go. You could do them long, but that would require some serious deep-fryin’ which I am just not emotionally ready to commit to. Cook about 3 or 4 at a time. Once they are browned, remove to paper towels with a slotted spoon and then place on a lined baking sheet. While you work through cooking all the churros, keep them in the oven to retain their heat.

Once all done, keep in the warm oven for about 10 minutes to help them finish cooking through before coating in the cinnamon sugar and serving with a generous amount of Dulce de Nick Lachey, preferably on Nick Lachey.

This may be all about Charo, but she isn’t the only one bringing the spice, no?

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Bacon and Cheese Erik Estrata

Breakfast

Erik is an absolute sweetheart and it is terrifying how much we value that in him, considering most of our closest friendships are built on a basis of lying, stealing and intimidation.

In Hollywood, it is eat or be eaten and Erik is too good for that.

We “first” met Erik after time-traveling on to the set of CHiPs after hearing about his glorious buns while working on The Nanny in the 90s. We were quickly hired as advisors on the show with our extensive knowledge of high-speed chases (from our time trying to evade arrests), after pitching a plot line involving the entire OJ arrest car-chase.

Time-travel can be really helpful when you want before their time ideas.

We haven’t seen much of Erik since he joined the police force (we didn’t want to put him in an awkward position if we fell into crime again), but got together to brainstorm the best possible way to reboot CHiPs on Netflix. Obviously it will involve me playing his son and deputy, and Annelie our sassy and aggressive Captain.

Needless to say, we had a fully realised outline by the time we finished our Bacon and Cheese Erik Estrata.

 

Bacon and Cheese Erik Estrata_1

 

The saltiness of the bacon cuts through the richness of the cheese leaving you with a strata that is light, eggy and warm. So pretty much like a hug from Erik, but with eggs.

Enjoy!

 

Bacon and Cheese Erik Estrata_2

 

Bacon and Cheese Erik Estrata
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 (heading towards stale) baguette, cut into 1-2cm slices
150g mozzarella, grated
60g parmesan, grated
100g cheddar, grated
100ml sour cream
6 free-range eggs
6 rashers bacon, diced
6 shallots, roughly sliced
handful cherry tomatoes, diced

Method
Place the cheeses, sour cream and eggs in a food processor and blend until smooth. If you don’t have a food processor, a large bowl and a stick blender will work ace. Remove the bowl from processor and add the chopped bacon, shallots and tomatoes. Lightly mix with a spoon.

Arrange the baguette slices in a layer or two in a square dish (26cm).

Pour the bacon, cheese and egg mixture over the bread in the dish, cover with cling film, and leave in the fridge to soak overnight.

The next morning, get out of bed, remove the strata from the fridge to rest while you preheat the oven to 180°C. While the oven is preheating you can say some affirmations, read the news or dance like this.

When the oven has come to temperature, place the strata in and bake for 30 minutes, or until cooked through.

Remove from the oven and devour, watching the melted cheese doesn’t burn your face.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Christoffee Knight Cheesecake

Dessert

At the risk of sounding like I’ve softened (and that I am potentially repeating myself), Christopher Knight is a gentleman, a scholar and a saint, and the last almost-fifty years of friendship have meant the world to us.

Now that the niceties are out of the way, let me take you back. We first met Chris and all of the Brady kids through our friendship with the Jackson 5. You see, we were choreographing for the Jacksons (and later invented the moonwalk, but I digress) and Michael introduced us to his girlfriend Maureen who got us auditions for two new roles in Season 5 of The Brady Bunch.

We nailed the auditions and came on board as twin cousins of the Bradys and were so universally despised by the audience that the show was put on hiatus after our first episode and retooled to include a different cousin (with all copies of our episodes and scripts burnt to ensure we were forgotten).

Yes, we were a worse option than Cousin Oliver.

After our unceremonious axing, we stayed close with all of the Bradys (family is family, after all) however it was Chris and Mo that were always our closest.

In honour of the celebratory catch-up, we whipped up a quick Christoffee Knight Cheesecake, (fun fact, it is the cake he made to cheer us up after our axing), to devour as we caught up on each others lives.

 

Christoffee Knight Cheesecake_1

 

The bleeding (well melting, but it kinda looks like it is bleeding so I’ll stick with that) toffee cuts through the delicate cake/cheese and with the added crunch of the nuts (nothing suss) you have no other option but to face-plant into the cake and devour.

Or maybe that is just us?

 

Christoffee Knight Cheesecake_2

 

Christoffee Knight Cheesecake
Serves: Well 3 in this case, 6-8 for normal people.

Ingredients
1 cup butternut snap biscuits (something equivalent), crumbed
2 tbsp butter, melted
500g cream cheese
½ raw caster sugar
½ cup thickened cream
3 tsp gelatine powder, dissolved in ¼ cup boiling water
100g peanut brittle, broken into smallish pieces.

Method
Combine the biscuit crumbs and melted butter, and press into the base of a 20cm springform pan and refrigerate while you make the filling.

In an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese until smooth. With the mixer on low speed, add in the sugar, cream and gelatine until smooth and combined.

Fold through most of the peanut brittle. Pour mixture into the chilling pan (obviously remove it from the fridge, yeah) and return to the fridge for a few hours to set.

Remove from fridge about twenty minutes prior to serving and garnish with reserved brittle.