Cobbstie Salley

Fame Hungry's American Teen Princess Pageant, Poultry, Salad, Side, Snack

While Keeks is the heart and soul of Drop Dead Gorgeous, it wouldn’t be as hilarious and, dare I say it poignant, without the villainous turn of my girl Kirstie Alley.

I first met my girl Kirst through George Takei. He had met this young girl on the set of Star Trek II and thought that with the right (read: my) tutelage, she could one day be a star. I don’t like to admit others’ success often, but he was right and make her a star I did.

You see, I spent a lot of time on the set of Cheers, working my way through the male cast members until Shelley Long dobbed me in to producers and I was forced to take a sexual harassment course. Obviously I was ropeable, got her fired and convinced them to replace her with Kirst, giving my girl the big break – and an Emmy – that she needed.

To Shelley I still say, snitches get stitches, you Shealous bitch!

Anywho, there isn’t a career decision I haven’t helped Kirst make – well, except Look Who’s Talking – and convincing her to co-star in DDG is probably the easiest one we’ve made. The script blistered off the page and I knew that no one could possible play Gladys Leeman … except for me in the one-man show version, which is coming to Broadway in 2019.

Since Kirst was busy earlier in the year with Scream Queens, we haven’t spent as much time together lately as we’d like – and no shade, but can we see the connection between this and her lack of future roles? – so she jumped at the opportunity to strategise, reconnect and honour the closest she has even been to an Oscar.

Given we’re also throwing Fourth of July into the celebratory mix, we decided to include her favourite (though not Jenny Craig friendly) Cobbstie Salley.

 

 

This may not be the healthiest or classiest salad, but that is what makes Cobb Salad so appealing. I mean, it is bacon and eggs that you can class as salad – need I say more? Oh … and blue cheese.

Case closed – enjoy!

 

 

Cobbstie Salley
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
3 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 lemon, juiced
2 tsp Dijon Mustard
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
salt and pepper, to taste
500g chicken breast
250g streaky bacon, diced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 eggs, hard boiled and roughly chopped
1 large cos lettuce, roughly chopped
1 cup watercress, roughly chopped
2 tomatoes, diced
1 avocado, diced
75g blue cheese

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine the olive oil, red wine vinegar, lemon juice, Dijon and Worcestershire in a jug with a generous whack of salt and pepper. Whisk together, cover and place in the fridge until you’re ready to serve.

Place the chicken breast on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with some olive oil, season and bake for twenty minutes, or until cooked through. Allow to rest before chopping into a rough dice.

Fry the bacon and garlic in a small pan over medium heat until the bacon is crisp and the garlic scorched.

Combine the egg, lettuce, watercress, tomato, avocado and blue cheese in a large bowl, and toss through the dressing. Add the chicken, bacon and garlic, give a final toss and devour … because who doesn’t love a toss and devour combo?

 

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Scott Batsit Bake

Halloween, Main, Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Where do I begin with my dear friend Scott Adsit? After meeting at Second City in the late 80s, we quickly became friends … until his superior talent led to him landing a role in the permanent cast over me in the 90s leading to an epic feud, second only to Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.

While I quickly moved on from missing out on the role, it took me a far longer time to end our one-sided feud – it snowballed beyond what even I would consider rational. Eventually we landed in the same room in the early 00s when he guested on Friends – I was part of Jen An’s entourage at the time (I really must catch her soon), leading to my time with Judah.

My dear friend Denise Richards – whom I also need to catch-up with – was guesting in the same episode, heard of our beef and worked overtime to clear the air between us and help us heal. The woman is an absolute miracle worker – I mean between this and Charlie Sheen, she should be sainted – and we were able to mend the rift and have been friends ever since.

When Teens and I sat down to start working on 30 Rock – did I mentioned I ghost-co-created the show? – we knew there was only one person who could play the role of Pete. He was also up for a part in Sorkie’s West Wing follow up, so I did a bit of covert sabotage to ensure Teens’ show would get its man.

Obviously don’t ever tell Teens or Scott, ok?

Our time spent together on the 30 Rock set after my life ban from actual 30 Rock was lifted would have to go down as the greatest period of my life, as we fully reconnected and got back to the friendship we had when we were both starting out, all that time ago in the 80s.

I haven’t had the chance to see much of Scott lately, with him busy recurring in the Deadpool comics and becoming the modern Disney icon that is Baymax, so it was wonderful to be able to take some time out to reconnect and scare the absolute shit out of one another. FYI, that is kind of our thing.

Want to play into our scaring contest in a low key way, I obviously set about whipping up a deceptively wicked Scott Batsit Bake.

 

scott-batsit-bake-1

 

What appears to be a sweet, delicate pasta bake made to resemble the corpses of albino bats, is actually a fiery death-trap, hotter than molten lava.

Let me tell you, it scared him going in … and sure as hell gave him a fright when it came out.

Enjoy – it may be hot, but it is also freaking delicious … promise!

 

scott-batsit-bake-2

 

Scott Batsit Bake
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g bow-tie pasta
2 extra hot chorizos, roughly chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
400g can diced tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato paste
¼ tsp dried oregano
pinch of raw caster sugar
¼ cup black olives, pitted and sliced
handful of mushrooms, sliced
1 tbsp chilli paste or hot sauce … or more, if trying to scare your friend (or less if you hate chilli)
1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated

Method
Preheat oven to 180C and cook pasta as per packet instructions, drain and set aside.

While they are getting freaky, add the chopped chorizo to a large pan over medium heat and fry until cooked through and the smoky oil is released. Add the garlic and onion and cook for a further minute or two. Stir through the tomatoes, paste, oregano, sugar, olives, mushroom and chilli, and cook for a further five minutes.

Remove the pan from the heat, season generously and stir through the pasta. When you’re just about to transfer to a baking dish, also stir through half of the mozzarella to ensure you have plenty of spooky cobwebs throughout, while eating. Then, obviously, transfer to a baking dish.

Top with the remaining cheeses and bake for half an hour, or until bubbling – like a cauldron – and crisp.

Devour … with more hot sauce, if you dare.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.