Kirstie

Tandoorhea Perlman

Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: The Gold Wing, Main, Snack

We’re hurtling towards the end of this year’s Emmy Gold celebration, The Gold Wing, and I knew that after catching up with Gaz, Marg, Av and Ram, that Rhea Perlman was the perfect person to help me round out the acting categories. I mean, she has four Emmys and is a TV legend. What more could you want?

As you probably are expecting, I first met Rhea on the set of Cheers when I was visiting my friend Kirstie Alley. Given Rhe was an absolute laugh riot, I gravitated towards her and we slowly became the best of friends.

In the decades since, she has continued to dominate the small screen and brought boundless joy into my life. And the lives of anyone with a TV. Or those that have seen her egregiously Oscar snubbed turn in Matilda.

Anyway, I catch-up with the De Vito-Perlman’s on the reg, however it has taken me this long to convince one of them to drop by on the record. Which I assume is on account of Danson’s nom and me telling her that her refusal would bring him bad karma in his category?

Thankfully it wasn’t awkward when I arrived at their mansion and we quickly caught up and got to work running the odds. Obviously I am still on the The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, so forced her to agree that Rachel Brosnahan is guaranteed the Lead Actress win, despite agreeing Pamela Adlon and Issa Rae are both worthy victors. When it came to her former category of Supporting Actor we deviated, with her backing Zazie Beetz for Atlanta and me going with Betty Gilpin for GLOW. With that out of the way, we went out to their lanai and smashed a shit tonne of my Tandoorhea Pearlman.

 

 

Packed full of spice, these little koftas are the perfect way to heat up a boring school-night meal and fill you full of joy. Like sweet Rhea does with all that she … does.

Enjoy!

 

 

Tandoorhea Perlman
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g lamb mince
2 tbsp tandoori paste
2 tbsp natural yogurt
2 tbsp coriander leaves, roughly chopped
1 tbsp ginger, minced
2 garlic cloves, minces
1 lime, zested and juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
salad, Michael Flatley Bread and Raita Mitchell, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Chuck everything – but the salad, Michael and Radha, obvi – in a large bowl and scrunch until well combined.

Shape into koftas and place on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Devour with salad, bread and raita.

 

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Potato Michaelline Richards

12 days of Festivus for the rest of us, Side, Vegetarian

We’ve reached the halfway point of our 12 days of Festivus celebrations, and I thought that after kicking things off with Jase – yes, this is just an excuse for a shameless plug for our previous recipes – before going to the portrayers of smaller characters like Heidi, Barney, Liz and Wayne, it was high time I caught up with another member of the core four.

And there is no one more core to Seinfeld than Michael Richards. Well, outside of the other three leads, obvi.

I first met Mick while working together on Fridays. Fun fact: I was the one that encouraged him to carry the cue-cards out to Andy Kaufman leading to the infamous drink throwing incident. While we fell out of touch in the years that followed, I was thrilled to see him again on the Seinfeld set.

Despite having another falling out after the laugh factory incident in 2006, Kirstie Alley helped us reconnect while he was working on her 2013 sitcom and we’ve been renewed friends ever since.

He was so excited to drop over for Festivus that he also knocked my apartment door off its hinges on arrival – classic Kramer style.

“What are we doing? Where are we going? What are we eating? Who are we seeing?”

For a second, I felt that I’d managed to finally crack the code and travel to alternate dimensions and into tv and films, due to Kramer-esque energy. Turns out, he was just hella excited to see me and down a vat full of Potato Michaelline Richards.

 

 

Uuuuuggggghhhhh – I hear you grown. How many versions of mashed potato can one anthropological patch of cyberspace have? A) Screw you and b) dickloads. I mean, creamy gooey potato on the inside, crisp and golden on the outside? This is perfection, damnit.

Enjoy!

 

 

Potato Michaelline Richards
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1.5kg potatoes, peeled and quartered
salt and pepper, to taste
¾ cup milk
50g unsalted butter
½ cup parmesan, grated
1 cup thickened cream, whipped to soft peaks

Method
Heat the oven to 120°C.

Bring the potatoes to the boil in a large saucepan over high heat with a good pinch of salt. When rollicking, reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, half-covered, until they are tender but not sodden, about 10 minutes. Drain the potatoes and return to the still hot pan and stir until any excess water has evaporated and they’re no longer steaming.

Mash thoroughly, or put in a stand mixer on medium with the paddle attachment, until the potato is completely smooth. Stir in the butter, milk and parmesan until combined and the butter completely melted slash incorporated. Gently old through the whipped cream, being careful not to lose too much air. Season, transfer to a medium baking dish and bake for half an hour, or until heated through and just started to crisp and get golden on top.

 

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Cobbstie Salley

Fame Hungry's American Teen Princess Pageant, Poultry, Salad, Side, Snack

While Keeks is the heart and soul of Drop Dead Gorgeous, it wouldn’t be as hilarious and, dare I say it poignant, without the villainous turn of my girl Kirstie Alley.

I first met my girl Kirst through George Takei. He had met this young girl on the set of Star Trek II and thought that with the right (read: my) tutelage, she could one day be a star. I don’t like to admit others’ success often, but he was right and make her a star I did.

You see, I spent a lot of time on the set of Cheers, working my way through the male cast members until Shelley Long dobbed me in to producers and I was forced to take a sexual harassment course. Obviously I was ropeable, got her fired and convinced them to replace her with Kirst, giving my girl the big break – and an Emmy – that she needed.

To Shelley I still say, snitches get stitches, you Shealous bitch!

Anywho, there isn’t a career decision I haven’t helped Kirst make – well, except Look Who’s Talking – and convincing her to co-star in DDG is probably the easiest one we’ve made. The script blistered off the page and I knew that no one could possible play Gladys Leeman … except for me in the one-man show version, which is coming to Broadway in 2019.

Since Kirst was busy earlier in the year with Scream Queens, we haven’t spent as much time together lately as we’d like – and no shade, but can we see the connection between this and her lack of future roles? – so she jumped at the opportunity to strategise, reconnect and honour the closest she has even been to an Oscar.

Given we’re also throwing Fourth of July into the celebratory mix, we decided to include her favourite (though not Jenny Craig friendly) Cobbstie Salley.

 

 

This may not be the healthiest or classiest salad, but that is what makes Cobb Salad so appealing. I mean, it is bacon and eggs that you can class as salad – need I say more? Oh … and blue cheese.

Case closed – enjoy!

 

 

Cobbstie Salley
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
3 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 lemon, juiced
2 tsp Dijon Mustard
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
salt and pepper, to taste
500g chicken breast
250g streaky bacon, diced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 eggs, hard boiled and roughly chopped
1 large cos lettuce, roughly chopped
1 cup watercress, roughly chopped
2 tomatoes, diced
1 avocado, diced
75g blue cheese

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine the olive oil, red wine vinegar, lemon juice, Dijon and Worcestershire in a jug with a generous whack of salt and pepper. Whisk together, cover and place in the fridge until you’re ready to serve.

Place the chicken breast on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with some olive oil, season and bake for twenty minutes, or until cooked through. Allow to rest before chopping into a rough dice.

Fry the bacon and garlic in a small pan over medium heat until the bacon is crisp and the garlic scorched.

Combine the egg, lettuce, watercress, tomato, avocado and blue cheese in a large bowl, and toss through the dressing. Add the chicken, bacon and garlic, give a final toss and devour … because who doesn’t love a toss and devour combo?

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.