Guys … it is almost the moment we’ve been waiting for. Shangie’s box is prepped, Milk has come in from the dairy, Aja is ready to continue her Queen-Dom from the reunion, Ru has ru-hearsed his list of airports and countries and Michelle is approaching peak sass. As such, my pussy is well and truly on fire thinking about the premiere of All Stars 3 in a matter of days.
After trying to make up for All Stars 1 to Mimi Imfurst, Latrice and Manila – who were arguably the most screwed by the pairs twist – I knew that no countdown would be complete without the OG Hall of Famer Chad Michaels. Plus, she’ll be dead soon and like Ru, I just wanted to make her happy.
I first met Chad in 2010 when she was competing in the Californian Entertainer of the Year pageant and despite coaching Shangie to victory, I was taken by her talent and vowed to get her a crown. While Sharon Needles got in the way of that promise, I called Ru in a fit of rage and forced him to create All Stars, knowing full well that Chad could never be a two time loser.
Chad was so thrilled to receive my telegram – for some reason, *coughs* age *coughs*, that is the only way we communicate – and jumped on the next flight to celebrate the upcoming All Stars, run some odds and fill up on a huge meal before getting locked into the Hall of Fame with Alaska for the duration of the season.
She agreed that Milk is a delight, though was firmly supporting her daughter Morgan McMichaels despite feeling it was Trixie or Shangela’s crown for the taking. Though the latter, I feel, just be to save face since she beat her in that pageant years before. Obviously she didn’t like that inference, though I was luckily able to stop her flying into a Cher-esque slap and rage by serving a big bowl of my Swiss Chard Gnocchaels.
Gnocchi and I have a long and complicated history – particularly when you throw the basement flooder Locky into the mix – but this baby all but wipes away all the pain. Light, cheesy and delightfully fresh, these prove, without a doubt, that sometimes it is easy being green.
Swiss Chard Gnocchaels
600g swiss chard, washed
250g fresh full-fat ricotta
100g grated parmesan, plus extra to ‘garnish’ slash drown
¼ tsp grated nutmeg
½-2 cups plain flour, plus extra to dust
salt and pepper, to taste
extra virgin olive oil
1 onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp chilli flakes
½ cup cinzano
800g can diced tomatoes
Place the spinach in a medium skillet over medium heat with a lug of water. Cover and cook for a couple of minutes. Remove from heat, drain and allow to cool slightly before transferring to a food processor. Blitz the spinach and add the ricotta, parmesan, eggs, nutmeg, ½ cup of flour and a good whack of salt and pepper. Blitz again until just coming together. If the dough is still wet, add the remaining flour bit by bit until it just comes together.
Transfer to a lightly floured work surface, split into four and roll each into a long sausage shape. Cut each sausage into gnocchi-sized little pillows, and roll with a fork to form an indent. Place on a lined baking sheet, cover with cling and chuck in the fridge to chill for an hour or so.
While the gnocchi is chilling, heat a lug of oil in a large skillet and sweat the onion and garlic for five minutes or so. Ad the chilli and cinzano and cook for a further couple of minutes before adding the tomatoes and seasoning well. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about ten minutes, or until it starts to reduce. Remove from the heat and bring back to temp when the gnocchi is cooking.
Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil. When rapid, reduce the heat to low and cook the gnocchi in batches for five minutes, or until they float to the surface. Remove from the pot, drain and continue the process until they’re done.
When ready, drain the pot and return the gnocchi to the pan. Add the sauce, stir through and serve immediately. Drown in extra parmesan and devour, trying not to gag … since you’ll be gagging on talent in a matter of days.