Actress

Nicki Spinaj and Cheese Triangles

Main, Party Food, Side, Snack

Like us, our close friend Nicki was always destined for fame and I would argue, that is what first drew us together at the anger management facility.

While we have a strong friendship with Nickers’, based on trust, respect and non-physical rage, there have been notable feuds in our past. I mean, who can tolerate Sophia-Grace and Woesie. Eye-roll emoji.

Despite questionable taste in hangers-on like them, I guess we are proof that sometimes they can turn out alright, and knowing that, always helps bring us back together.

After leaving the facility – thanks to Nickers’ glowing recommendation – we convinced her that her talents were wasted helping people and that she needed to do something truly meaningful like rapping and feuding with Mariah.

(The only good thing Mariah can do is a Christmas album, let’s be honest).

Nek minute, Nicki was flying high like a starship and became a global sensation with us by her side to help her scheme, feud and throw some glorious side eye. Fun fact, the what’s good phrase is Annelie’s go to throwdown line if I eat the last piece of cake.

Such a spicy, exciting bond can only be summed up by one thing – our Nicki Spinaj and Cheese triangles.

 

Nikki Spinaj and Cheese Triangles_1

 

Cheese is literally the best thing to ever happen to the planet (aside from us and wine) and well, any receptacle that helps get hot, gooey cheese from a plate to my mouth is a win. Throw in the freshness of spinach and dill and you’ve got a heavenly, creamy-sharp orgy happening in your mouth.

Enjoy!

 

Nikki Spinaj and Cheese Triangles_2

 

Nicki Spinaj and Cheese Triangles
Makes: 24.

Ingredients
375g frozen spinach, thawed
125g Greek feta, crumbled
125g ricotta, crumbled
1 tablespoon dill, chopped
2 eggs, lightly beaten
salt and pepper, to taste
375g pack filo pastry
oil, for brushing

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Drain all of liquid from the spinach and mix in a medium bowl with the feta, ricotta, dill, eggs, salt and pepper, until combined.

Brush oil between three layers of pastry and place on top of each other. Cut pastry into three long strips.

Place about a tablespoon of the mixture in a corner of each strip. Fold diagonally to form a triangle and then repeat with remaining filo and spinach mixture until all used up.

Place parcels (join-side down) on a baking tray and brush with oil, and bake for 15 to 18 minutes until crisp.

Serve with sweet chili, a spicy tomato sauce or aioli. Or by themselves.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Miley, what’s good (eating)?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

After a week gorging on delicious Thanksgiving food and a weekend treating Black Friday sales like a cage-fight, Annelie and I knew there was only one celebrity we would want to spend time with this week – our dear friend Nicki Minaj.

We first met our dear friend Nickster six years ago in court-ordered anger management, just as she was about to make it big. She had been working at the anger facility as a counselor for their more extreme patients and thus far, has been the only person to get through to us.

That probably has more to do with the fact that she allows us to continue with fight-club and is a firm believer in verbal beat-downs and non-physical feuding. Plus, she hates customers.

What says, thank you for being such a strong, rational role-model to us both?

Picture source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Duck à la Solange

Main

Where do I even begin to explain the deep, complex, passionate platonic-love story between us and our dear friend SoKnow?

We first met So during the late 90s, when the world was quickly falling crazy in love with Beyoncé and the rest of the destiny’s children. SoKnow, filled with so much creative talent and energy, needed a way to burn through her untapped potential and joined the Upper Whitney Houston chapter of our Extreme Fight Club.

SoKnow excelled from a young age (picture a kind, likeable version of Ronda Rousey) and rose through to ranks where we met her at our EFC Centre in East Hollywood – did I mention we turned it into a religion/cult like Scientology?

Our bond with Solange was instantaneous and continued over the decades, with So becoming one of our most trusted friends, advisors and confidantes. She was the only person we trusted to keep Jay-Z in line after breaking the first rule of fight club, to not talk about fight club.

Obviously as founders, we are exempt from such rules. Jay-Z is not above the rules.

It was so great catching up with SoKnow after such a busy year – we hadn’t realised that our hard work had led us to our 100th recipe milestone, but you better believe she did.

Knowing our penchant for wanky gifts, she looked through Chloe Sevigny’s list of must haves (I mean, who doesn’t want to never speak to Jeanne Tripplehorn again) and arrived with a vintage half-kaftan by Vivienne Westwood Gold Label, an ironic art smock by Balenciaga le dix, imitation pants by Cacharel and stand-up comedy classes.

The only way we could repay her support, kindness and generosity was a meal of our famous Duck à la Solange.

 

Duck à la Solange_1

 

The 80s have had a strong impact on our lives, none more so than the delicacies of a kitsch kitchen. While I have always had a soft spot for the idea of Duck à l’orange, I hate orange in cooking. Enter, the sublimeness of SoKnow – crispy skin duck with Grand Marnier and sour cherry glaze to dial back the overpowering orange flavour, leaving you with a gloriously rich, tangy citrus to cut through the duck.

Enjoy!

Oh, and thank you for reading – you’re the best and you’re beautiful, but not as good or as beautiful as us. Obviously.

 

Duck à la Solange_2

 

Duck à la Solange
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 duck breasts
1 tsp salt
1 sprig rosemary, finely chopped
2 tbsp unsalted butter
1 cup pitted cherries
freshly ground black pepper, to taste
30ml Grand Marnier
½ cup chicken stock
1 tsp cornflour

Method
Score the skin of each duck breast with diagonal lines, cutting into the fat but not into the flesh and rub with the salt and chopped rosemary.

On a medium hot pan, seal the skin side of the duck breasts for about 10 minutes, skimming the fat if it gets too excessive. Once the skin has crisped, turn the breast over and seal on the other side. Cook the breasts for a total of about 20 minutes, turning for a few minutes to seal the remaining sides. Remove from the pan and leave to rest in a warm place for about 15 minutes.

Add the butter to the dark fat and cook to a nut brown before adding the cherries and a good whack of pepper. Deglaze the pan with the Grand Marnier and then add the stock and cornflour, increasing the temperature until the sauce has reduced down to a syrupy glaze.

Serve the duck on crispy fried potatoes or fried broccolini, doused in the cherry-citrus glaze.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

You like us, right now, you like us

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Oh my god, it is such a shock, and again, truly an honour to be crossing off another blogging milestone. Thank you!

If you had told us a year ago that we would be reaching 100 posts we would have thrown a drink at you, pushed you in a pool and Alexis Carrington-ed our way to the front pages of a scandalous tabloid to boost our publicity and cut out the hard work. I mean, 100 recipes/catch-ups? That is work.

Surprisingly, we didn’t take the easy route to minimal fame and no fortune (although obviously I am keen to sell my sex tape, You’ll love your Ben) and stuck it out socialising with our famous friends (and foes), while documenting every step of the process like the anthropological gods that we are.

Skarsy was unavailable / too scared to help us celebrate this joyous occasion, so we reached out to our dear friend and favourite Knowles, Solange.

It may have been cold there in Beyoncé’s shadow, but our love and friendship was more than enough to warm Solange’s heart. I guess her own talent is also heart-warming, but our love is surely more meaningful.

What says thank you for your ongoing support and being the true star of the wider Knowles-Z family?

Picture source: Kristy Sparow / Getty Images.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Harissa Oleynik

Condiment, Sauce

If there is one person that epitomised the nineties (excluding our friends in West Beverly, obviously) and my brief self-perceived heterosexuality, it is our close friend Larisa Oleynik.

Larisa, the queen of hats and turning herself in to puddles of goop, was the biggest star of the nineties for the after school TV set with her blistering portrayal of Alex Mack and her struggles to rebuild her life after a crippling accident where she was doused by a secret chemical.

Annelie and I were hired by Nickelodeon as scientific advisors on the show and quickly bonded with Larisa as, let’s be honest, no one else on set could match our beautiful, beautiful minds.

Believing myself to be straight, I quickly tried to woo Larisa by getting her a part in our film The Baby-Sitters Club (Annelie and I wrote the script … as well as the book series it was based on) during a break between our seasons – she noticed my searing chemistry with Austin O’Brien, whom we had met on the set of My Girl 2, and helped me come to terms with my penchant for peen.

This in turn led to her casting in 10 Things I Hate About You where I enlisted her help in wooing Andrew Keegan – we were part of Allison Janney’s entourage, after her casting in a role that we campaigned our dear friend Heath to get included, which was based on us.

We have hung out with Larisa in a while, she reached out upon hearing we were trying to scam Andrew Keegan and wanted in on our revenge plot and to have a documented catch-up.

While I discovered Larisa couldn’t light my fire back in the nineties, the Harissa Oleynik that we used to put on everything we ate sure could!

 

Harissa Oleynik_1

 

The North African chilli paste is versatile (like … nevermind, I don’t Keegs and tell); adding a kick to a tajine or *gasp* soup (you know we love heat here), or even just mixed with some natural yoghurt to garnish kofte.

See, versatile. Enjoy!

 

Harissa Oleynik_2

 

Harissa Oleynik
Makes: ½ a cup (ish)

Ingredients
10 large red chillies
3 garlic cloves, peeled
½ lemon, juiced
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon ground coriander
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt

Method
Halve the chillies, discarding the seeds from half and discard.

Place all the ingredients in a small food processor and blitz until a smooth paste forms.

Alternately you can use a mortar and pestle and pound it, hard, until a paste forms … but who can be bothered unless they are working through some anger or trying to woo someone using a naked chef seduction technique.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Rebecca De Chicken Mornay

Main, Pasta

As you’ve heard us rant many a time, working with Tom Cruise is the absolute worst but as our friend Ralph (may have) said, “when it is dark enough, you can see the stars,” and boy did we ever when first meeting the delightful Bec!

While she wasn’t a star back then, our friendship shone brightly and filled our lives with so much joy during such a dark time. After successfully working through our feelings thanks to our Survivors of Tom Cruise support group slash tactical revenge cult, Annelie got her first taste of momagering with Bec and lead to her casting in the classic A Trip to Bountiful.

We were briefly able to share the spotlight, attending the Oscars with Bec, partying at the Chateau, before Annelie gave me the opportunity to co-momager Bec, when our addictions got the better of us and she ended up ruined by the forgettable 1987 live action version of Beauty and the Beast.

This led to a brief feud between us and Bec, before she graciously forgave us during a family visit to Promises while we were in rehab. She desperately wanted to help us with our comeback and, thankfully, we were able to get her back on the A-List with a role in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (I slept with Curtis Hanson while in rehab, I don’t know who he was meant to be visiting).

Bec was in town for the AGM and wanted something comforting and warm, like our beautiful decades-long friendship (that even survived her appearance in American Reunion against our advice) – obviously that meant a giant vat of Rebecca De Chicken Mornay.

 

Rebecca De Chicken Mornay_1

 

While the kitsch, 80s classic is generally made with tuna, we all find that filthy fish disgusting (tuna is to Tom, what the gerbil is to Richard Gere – don’t ask) so opt for chicken instead. Plus, tuna is the chicken of the sea anyway, right?

Enjoy!

 

Rebecca De Chicken Mornay_2

 

Rebecca De Chicken Mornay
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 chicken breasts, diced
olive oil
500g macaroni
100g butter
1 cup corn kernels
2 medium carrots, diced small
2 onions, diced
½ cup plain flour
4 cups milk
4 tablespoons Dijon mustard
2 cups grated tasty cheese
salt and pepper, to taste
parmesan, to top
fresh chives, finely sliced

Method
Put a large pot of water on to boil and preheat the oven to 180°C.

While they are coming to temperature heat a large pan over medium heat, add a lug of olive oil and cook the chicken until browned.

Once the water has come to the boil, add the macaroni and cook to packet instructions. Drain.

In a large saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter and saute the corn, carrot and onion, until the carrots are soft. Add the flour and stir until the vegetables are coated.

Add the milk half a cup at a time, stirring after each addition until the sauce starts to thicken, repeating until it is all gone. Cook for a further minute before stirring in the mustard, grated cheese, chicken and pasta, stirring until the cheese has melted. Season to taste.

Place into a large baking tray and top with a scattering of parmesan and bake for 25 minutes or until golden.  Top with snipped chives and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

The hand that rocks our risky business

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

While Tom Cruise is the absolute worst, our work as his stilts AND for me, his fluffer (something about not liking women touching him…), on the set of Risky Business lead us to some of our closest friends; Sean and Megsy were lucky enough to not have to deal with him much, the luminescent Rebecca de Mornay was not so lucky.

As female lead, poor Bec was stuck with Tom as much as we were and, thankfully, the horrific trauma bonded us for life in the most famous case of Hollywood Stockholm Syndrome. Fun fact, Hollywood execs still use our friendship as an example of a positive of sharing the screen with Cruise when they need to convince people to appear in his movies.

Bec is in town this week for our Survivors of Tom Cruise AGM. What says we survived but we aren’t defined by our trauma?

Picture source: Screen-cap from Risky Business.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Amy Poehlenta Chips

Party Food, Side, Snack, Treat Yo' Self Week

While she may have never participated in the joy and wonder of treat yo’ self day on screen (I would argue Leslie felt her life was a treat anyway), we could look no further than Parks star, Emmy Award snubee, victim of our stalking (rewritten thanks to time travel) and co-best person in the world, Amy Poehler, to finish off Treat Yo’ Self Week.

We have documented our long struggles with trying to secure Ames’ friendship; when stalking / catfishing as Hollywood heavyweight Anneljamin Juddailes via Adam Scott didn’t work, we opted to rewrite history and join her BFF (now one of her BFFs) Teens at the Delaware County Summer Showtime.

After connecting with Ames via Teens at Second City (our nefarious plot worked), we immediately became best friends and have been living the good life with the Queens of Comedy ever since! Oh, you can bet your bottom dollar that we were heavily involved in the successful reshaping of Leslie Knope, all of Amy’s Award Show gags and generally controlling her life like a Momager – she is Kim to our Kris!

While Amy was present for our ugliness with Lorne Michaels and the subsequent lifetime ban at 30 Rock, she was kind enough to base Parks out of L.A. so we could still be involved in her life and members of her entourage. Who else is going to beat the shit out of Edie “Mrs. Soprano” Falco when she crosses her? Exactly.

Ames’ is on a break from filming and between press circuits for the world’s saddest, most soul crushing movie Inside Out and the upcoming Oscar winning, box-office breaking hit Sisters so dropped by to relax and treat herself to our glorious Amy Poehlenta Chips.

 

Amy Poehlenta Chips_1

 

Between the sharp cheese, the whack of herbs and the hint of chilli, I have nothing to say other than the fact these are just as glorious as their namesake – love you Ames!

Amy Poehlenta Chip? Treat yo’ self. Treat yo’ self, indeed!

 

Amy Poehlenta Chips_2

 

Amy Poehlenta Chips
Serves: 6

Ingredients
2 cups chicken stock
1 cup instant polenta
1 cup parmesan, grated
25g butter
½ cup rosemary leaves, chopped
sea salt and cracked black pepper
200g ricotta
2 tbsp chilli flakes
olive oil
1 tbsp sea salt flakes
1 tbsp sage, chopped

Method
Place the stock in a large saucepan and bring to the boil over medium heat.

Reduce heat to low and while whisking, gradually add the polenta – continuing for a couple of minutes before removing from the heat.

Throw in the parmesan, butter, rosemary and season with salt and pepper, generously with the pepper, and give a good stir. Cover with cling and leave to cool for 15-20 minutes.

Once cooled, fold through the ricotta and place the cheesy, polenta-y goodness in a lined small (20cm-ish) square cake tin and refrigerate until set, about six hours.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Remove the baking paper, and obviously the polenta with it, and slice into 2cm square matchsticks. Layer the chips on a lined baking sheet, drizzled with olive oil and bake for 50-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

While the chips are baking, combine the sage and salt. When the chips are done, allow the cool for 5 minutes before coating in the sage salt and devouring. Preferably with some Coolaioli.

You know Amy would like that.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Prettazels

Snack, Treat Yo' Self Week

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys – relax! Treat Yo’ Self Day is finally here again. Yep, that’s right everyone It’s Treat Yo’ Self Two-Thousand-Fifteen!

To mark such a wonderous occasion, we couldn’t look beyond a catch-up with the Queen of Treat Yo’ Self and in the future, the world, Re “Regal Meagle” tta.

I first befriended Retta online after joining together in a Twitter feud with Ashton Kutcher and connected in person on the Parks set when we travelled back in time to embed ourselves in the writer’s room to invent … the best day of the year!

Retta, like us, is a fan of the finer things in life and enjoys being a dominant force of awesomeness and as such, our bond was immediate as we owned the L.A. social scenes and feuded with and then befriended the Kardashians.

Retta has been quite busy since wrapping Parks and wanted to make the most of her time off from Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce (Andy, I know our relationship ended poorly but you know you want me to headline a Housewives series – Brisbane is pretty boozy) by relaxing with her closest friends and celebrating Treat Yo’ Self Week with our glorious, salty Prettazels.

 

Prettazels_1

 

Real, pretzels (you know, as genuine as one from a cart outside The Met can be) are literally the greatest thing in the world – pillowy on the inside, crisp on the outside and covered in salty, salty goodness that cures the blues of trudging through Time Square to avoid the paps on Fifth Ave.

One of the many lessons learnt from Seinfeld, is that Prettzels make you thirsty, so we made sure we had plenty of leftover Jimosas on hand.

Prettazels? Treat. Yo’. Self.

 

Prettazels_2

 

Prettazels
Makes: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup milk
7g dry yeast
3 tbsp packed light brown sugar
2 ¼ cups plain flour
30g butter, softened and diced
1 tsp fine salt
1 egg, beaten with a dash of milk
maldon salt flakes

Method
Warm the milk in a saucepan until it is roughly 50 C and pour into a large mixing bowl for a stand mixture. Sprinkle in the yeast and leave to bask in the warm milk bath for about 2 minutes before stirring in the brown sugar and 1 cup of the flour. Add the butter and stir into the mix. Add the remaining flour and the fine salt and knead in a stand mixer with dough hook for 3-5 minutes or until it is smooth yet a little bit sticky (who doesn’t love sticky buns – treat yo’ self). Shape into a ball and leave to prove, because don’t we all have something to prove, in a warm place, in a lightly oiled bowl and cover with cling wrap for about two to three hours.

While the dough is proving, preheat the oven to 220C.

Punch the dough back, in a non-aggressive manner, and divide into 6 pieces. Roll and stretch each piece with the palms of your hands into a 50cm(ish) rope shape before curling into a cirle shaping, knotting the ends over each other and pressing into the base (sorry, terrible description but just aim for a pretzel shape). I am pretty awful at the stretching process, so opted for a fatter more rustic style of pretzel, but there are videos showing you how to do it on YouTube that look like a Devo film-clip.

Place on a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until all the dough has been used. Brush with the egg wash and sprinkle generously with salt flakes. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Eat as is, or dip in a mustard mayo for ultimate treat!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Apple Cinnamon Hilary Duffins

Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Well this week’s visit sure provided us with some shocks! We were under the impression that Hilary was just making a quick trip over to discuss collaborating on a new album and/or to do a guest stint on Younger, but her real reason was far more telenovela.

Wait for it…Annelie and I are actually Duffs!

Yes, you read that correctly – Annelie and I are both long lost Duff siblings! I have always had an inkling that I was older than I thought, given my penchant for pre-5PM dinners, but I never thought for a second that I was Haylie Duff’s seven minutes younger and far prettier twin.

I was in smug shock thinking about how glorious our debut album as Up the Duffs’  would be (probably in stores next fall) that I almost fell off my chair when Hizza dropped the bomb that Annelie was not only a Duff, but Hilary’s twin.

Hilary was so pleased to have received an anonymous tip-off that her mother gave two of her children up, and even more so when she discovered that those children were her best friends and the writer/creators of Lizzie McGuire.

So excited that she even ignored the fact we sided with Stifler’s Mom in the violent and deadly A Cinderella Story feud … and poisoned Chad Michael Murray against her during our on set fling!

Oh and that time we got Haylie fired from 7th Heaven likening her to the second coming of Shannen Doherty so that I could sleep with Simon (we thought the show was a documentary and our alcoholism was blinding our judgement when Matt was clearly the superior son).

While Annelie eventually came clean that she gave Hizza the anonymous tip-off and that she falsified the DNA results, it was so nice reconnecting as family as opposed to friends over our Apple Cinnamon Hilary Duffins. I don’t know we will ever be able to tell her the truth (I wouldn’t anyway, that would ruin Annelie’s long-winded scam).

 

Apple Cinnamon Hilary Duffins_1

 

Like Hilary the muffins are a sweet, sugar coated delight but like her and Haylie’s respective twins they have enough spice to keep it interesting.

Or that is how we sold it to her – enjoy!

 

Apple Cinnamon Hilary Duffins_2

 

Apple Cinnamon Hilary Duffins
Makes: 8.

Ingredients
2 cups plain flour
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
250g butter, melted
1 cup brown sugar
½ cup maple syrup
4 eggs
5 granny smith apples, finely diced
2 tsp ground cinnamon, extra
½ cup caster sugar

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Sift the flour, baking powder and cinnamon in a bowl to combine, before adding the butter, brown sugar, maple syrup, eggs and apple. Mix thoroughly to combine.

Divide the mixture evenly amongst 8 Texas muffin tins and bake for 20-25 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.

Combine the extra cinnamon and caster sugar in a bowl.

Immediately remove the muffins from the tin and toss the cakes in the sugar. Cool and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.