Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, 14 new queens descending on a new Werk Room for a new season where Ru quickly tasked them with the creating a look using 99c store wonders aka the drag on a dime challenge. Aka the first ever drag race challenge. Twins Aquaria and Miz Cracker seemed to have issues, the former more so than the latter before Kalorie Karbdashian Williams and Vanessa Vanjie Mateo landed in the bottom two, and poor Alexis’ girl becoming the first person out.
Miss Vanjie. Miss Vanjie. Banjie. BAMjie. We want you to come back home baby …
The surviving queens returned to the Werk Room to discover the notes are not as aggressive as All Stars 3. The queens then reminisced about everyone’s passion for repeating Miss Vanjie before Monet broke things up by protesting her safe placement ala Milk. Thankfully Asia has a bit of her daughter’s spark, telling her she is delusional and that if no one got what she was going for, it clearly wasn’t very good. Things then took a turn with The Vixen stoking the fire between Aquaria and Miz Cracker, with Aquaria back-pedalling and Miz Cracker just not giving a shit since she was in the top and Aquaria wasn’t.
Kalorie and Eureka lead the queens back the next day by threatening to eat people, which I assume is sexually. Before we could find out, Ru arrived with King of the Housewives Andy Cohen himself to lord over a quick-drag ho-down mini-challenge, Hay Girl Hay. Just as an aside, Kameron and Dusty are still hot as shit and I feel that is important we note.I mean, Kameron in quick drag could almost turn me straight. Anyway the queens broke it down, with The Vixen, Kameron – swoon – Asia and Aquaria turning it out. Oh and Blair, that little girl brought matriarch realness.
Andy and Ru crowned Asia and The Vixen as the winners of the mini challenge, which came with the prize of leading teams in Ru’s latest musical PharmaRusical – a parody lip sync extravaganza of the terror of US drug ads. Asia selected Aquaria, Monique Heart, Dusty, Yuhua and Kalorie, up against The Vixen, Kameron, Miz Cracker, Monet, Blair and Mayhem. That left Eureka to select her own team, joining Asia’s much to her chagrin given that she never shuts the hell up.
The groups split up and got to work going through their scripts and selecting roles, with Vixen taking charge of her group and ignoring everyone’s preferences. Which Monet hated. Meanwhile Eureka was already rubbing Asia the wrong way, constantly talking throughout their rehearsal and not listening. Asia, of course, then lead the team to choreograph the routine so they have something when they meet the choreographer. Well, when Eureka was done talking. Meanwhile The Vixen’s team had done outfits and were really happy with that, until they saw how well the other team were doing it. Ru returned to check in on the teams, with Asia’s rightly feeling extremely confident. He then brought up Eureka’s injury, bringing up some more PTSD for the chatty Cathy of the group. On the flipside The Vixen’s team felt close to death.
Team Asia arrived on the mainstage to discover the one and only Alyssa Edwards would be choreographing the musical – ding dong Todrick, amirite – with the queen of the Haus of Edwards thrilled to hear they’ve come prepared. After throwing some shade at Charlie Hides for being lifeless, Alyssa worked those queens OUT and forced them to drink her go-go juice and high-kick their lives away. While most of them nailed it, Ms Karbdashian and Eureka struggled. Backstage Kameron was wondering why she was first to be selected with The Vixen explaining that she needed quiet people who would work. Again, swoon. The Vixen and Miz Cracker then spoke about the drama between her and Aquaria with The Vixen explaining she just wants them to clear the air rather than be shady.
The Vixen’s team were delighted to discover Alyssa Edwards would be doing choreographer, while she was hella disappointed since they had nothing prepared. While they assured her they had prepared characterisation, she was not convinced and felt extremely concerned about their performance. Despite being a Broadway Baby, Blair couldn’t seem to land her legs making Alyssa and the girls even more anxious. To the point Alyssa gave them a pep talk to try and motivate them, making me wish that I could be a part of the Haus of Edwards and hear those on the daily. Back in the Werk Room Eureka started to get in her head and felt like nobody wanted her in the team, breaking down about not bringing it. This obviously annoyed Asia who just wanted to focus on the damn challenge.
The queens arrived the next day, ready to slay their performances. Well, The Vixen’s team were kinda just hoping to survive the performance at best. Dusty spoke about her concern that Michelle won’t like her make-up and will call out her dots, before Kalorie turned things dark sharing about her experiences being bullied in High School. I mean, there was a cup of piss thrown at her and it sounded horrific though thankfully Jujubee inspired her and she pulled through. Yas, Jujubee, the hero we don’t deserve.
Despite nailing their rehearsal team Asia struggled due to Eureka’s inability to hit any of the lyrics and Kalorie and monique, who were just there. That being said, the rest of the queens slayed, Dusty in particular. On the flipside, everyone on The Vixen’s team turned it the hell out. Again, Kameron is beautiful. Despite that, The Vixen and Mayhem owned it.
The queens had to bring their best drag to the main stage where Asia, Dusty, The Vixen, Miz Cracker and Kameron – obvi – slayed, Monique served muppet realness, while Yuhua, Eureka and Kalorie bombed in their bodysuits. Team Vixen rightfully snagged the win, with The Vixen winning the challenge – though Kameron kinda deserved it, no? – and Team Asia up for elimination. Asia and Dusty received universal praise (ish for Asia), Yuhua’s performance was adored while her outfit was read for filth, on the flipside Monique and Aquaria slayed the runway but bombed the rusical and Kalorie and Eureka were read for filth entirely, with the latter completely breaking down from stress. Obviously that lead to Kalorie and Eureka lip syncing, and forced to eat each other rather than the skinny girls. Despite bombing the lip sync extravaganza, Eureka nailed every single lyric and felt the entire song … ultimately destroying Kalorie and sending her out of the competition in tears.
It was hard to see Kalorie so heartbroken when she joined me backstage, so I bit my tongue when I was close to telling her I was expecting to see her. I held her close, told her New Mexico would be proud of her for just making the show and pulled out my showstopping Babkalorie Karbdashian Williams to turn the mood around.
I love bread, I love chocolate and I love peanut butter – name a more iconic trio, TBH – so we you combine them together … then plait and bake, the only thing you can feel is joy.
Enjoy!
Babkalorie Karbdashian Williams
Serves: 8-10.
Ingredients
½ cup milk, warmed to 35-40°C
7g dry yeast
¼ cup raw caster sugar, plus 2 tablespoons
3 eggs
2 cups flour, plus ¼ cup extra
½ tsp salt
110g unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into pieces
¼ cup butter, melted
100g chocolate
2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp double cream
Method
Combine the milk and yeast in a jug with a pinch of sugar and leave to foam for five minutes or so. Meanwhile whisk two eggs in a bowl with the raw caster sugar until smooth, before adding the foamy yeast.
Combine the flour and salt and pour in the egg mixture, mixing with the dough hook of a stand mixer until everything is wet. Transfer hook and bowl to the mixer, and knead while adding the cubed butter piece by piece. When all the butter has been added, knead for ten minutes or so or until the dough in smooth and elastic. Transfer to a greased bowl, cover and leave to prove for two hours or until doubled, then transfer to the fridge to chill for an hour.
Preheat oven to 180°C.
Combine half the melted butter with the chocolate, peanut butter, 1 tbsp raw caster sugar, ½ tsp cinnamon and a pinch of salt in a saucepan and melt over a double boiler until combined. Remove from heat and allow to cool.
Transfer the chill dough to a lightly floured surface and roll into a 40x30cm rectangle and spread with the peanut butter and chocolate filling. Roll up along the long edge to form a long roll – so descriptive, no? Cut log in half and pull to stretch slightly before placing them next to each other. Cross one log over the other in the middle to form an x before twisting each end twice to form a long braid. Transfer to a lined bread pan and leave to prove for half an hour.
While the bread is proving, combine the muscovado sugar and flour with the remaining caster sugar, cinnamon and butter and stir to combine. Whisk the egg and cream to combine. When the babka has risen, brush with the egg wash, scatter with streusel and transfer to the oven to back for 45 minutes, or until golden.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pan for fifteen minutes before turning into on a wire rack and allowing to cool completely.
Then cut into slices and devour.
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