Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were tasked with hosting their own drag con panels where Eureka, Kameron and Monet shone while Cracker was dragged to hell by Blair, The Vixen and the horrific decision to forgo a moderator. Once again Eureka took out the victory – as her team’s moderator, no less – while Blair and The Vixen fell into the bottom, with Ru, Michelle, Ross and co. declaring Blair sashay away straight out of the competition.

The queens returned to the Werk Room with The Vixen feeling the pain of being in the bottom and Eureka lamenting the loss of sweet Blair. With The Vixen languishing in the competition, she started to worry that maybe the judges just aren’t getting her or her drag and wondered how to change the perception. Monet being the congenial queen she is quickly turned the attention to Eureka and lead the girls in congratulating her on her second win. In a damn row. Asia then turned her attention to The Vixen and asked if she was angry being in the bottom for a second time with Eureka interrupting her talking about the people that look up to her to suggest that she remember those people and use her intelligence and passion for good, rather than awakening the kraken. Obviously The Vixen didn’t like that, but Monique jumped in to distract us and complain about landing in the middle. Again. The queens reminded her that she is sewing outfits straight up to panel and that beating other – cough, more prepared girls – means she really must be doing something right.

The next day Ru joined the queens to teach the children how to read – yes ma’am, the library is OPEN. The sweetest queen around, Kameron, kicked things off with a couple of killer digs, as did Aquaria, Asia focused on cleanliness personality before Eureka channeled me and begged Kameron to fuck him. Miz was her usual hilarious self, The Vixen was surprisingly good, Monique channelled Ru and Monet was glorious. Once again Eureka took out victory, much to the chagrin of The Vixen before Ru dropped the bomb that this week’s maxi challenge is SNATCH GAME.

Monet was hoping to unwittingly redeem MyaMaya Angelou on the Snatch Game stage – sorry ChiChi – with Kameron relying on her gorgeous body and going with Chyna and The Vixen deciding to play Blue Ivy. Before we could see if that is a good idea, Bianca Del Rio arrived to tear the girls to shreds on behalf of Ru.

They dropped by Eureka who was tossing up between Devine and Honey Boo Boo, until she gave them her Devine and it completely bombed. Monique was also debating between Maxine Waters and Cookie Lyon, with Bianca leading her to Maxine Waters. Which she committed to, despite bombing backstage. Asia was going with Whitney Houston until Ru told her she can’t do any powdered sugar jokes, meaning she had to think fast to find a replacement … landing with Beyonce, which she also couldn’t land in the Werk Room. Is this about to be a fucking disaster? Miz Cracker was going for Dorothy Parker, concerning Ru that it isn’t going to be laugh out loud funny. Aquaria was playing to her strengths and locked in Melania Trump because neither of them can speak well or think on their feet but look good. With Bianca and Ru out of the room, Asia locked in Beyonce since it is something she can pull together in a pinch and the fact she can play of The Vixen. And going off their ideas, I feel Monet is going to be right and she is going to murder Beyonce again in a Snatch Game and it is going to be a mess.

My dear friend Audra McDonald and Kate Upton joined the queens as contestants in this year’s Snatch Game. All the queens got off to a good start, except for Asia and The Vixen who went straight to the banter and straight to bombing. Asia spent the entire time interrupting the other queens, The Vixen did a terrible job channelling a child and Monique seemed to miss the point. On the flipside, Monet, Aquaria and Eureka slayed the panel before Alex Trebek dropped by for a video question and Monique broke character and completely went off the rails.

Elimination day rolled around with Monique disappointed Aquaria didn’t play into any of her attempts at banter before Aquaria owned her and told her it wasn’t her job to make Monique’s performance ok. Burn. The Vixen checked in with her mother who channeled Whoopi in Ghost and let her know that they were both in danger, girl. Feeling uneasy The Vixen told Eureka that she stomped on everyone on the panel, despite the fact Asia was stampeding through the game and everyone’s performances. The queens then spoke about making their performances political which made The Vixen far more likeable than she is coming across.

On the Bette Midler inspired mermaid fantasy runway, Monique worked her wheelchair though had an ill fitting tail. Miz Cracker was perfection, Aquaria made oil slicks sexy, Asia was inspired by this year’s Best Picture winner Grinding Nemo, The Vixen served boy-body, lopsided titty realness, Monique was a warrior mermaid, Eureka spit blood as a Disney villainess and Kameron was beautiful, vain and hilarious. Miz Cracker and Kameron were both giving their rolling orders – while pulling out this week’s Vanjie reference – after being called safe leaving the other girls to receive critiques.

The judges loved everything Aquaria did this week while they felt Monique’s Maxine Waters fell flat and her runway was two looks that seemed stitched together. Asia’s fish-mask proved controversial amongst the judging panel, though they could all agree her Beyonce was terrible. The judges hated The Vixen’s Blue Ivy and her runway look from the neck down, with her trying to blame Eureka for bombing snatch game. The judges adored everything about Monet this week, and thought Eureka was hilarious in Snatch Game. Feeling their hasn’t been enough drama, Ru asked the queens who should go home tonight with Eureka ID-ing Asia for being her biggest threat. Monet thought The Vixen should go before The Vixen continued to try and drag down Eureka. Sadly for her, Asia, Monique and Aquaria all agreed with Monet that it is definitely The Vixen’s time to go.

Aquaria took out a much deserved victory, with Eureka and Monet sent to safety. As expected The Vixen found herself in the bottom two, while Asia just escaped the bottom and Monique was forced to lip sync for her life. Though tragically she didn’t appear to know any of the lyrics, writhing around the stage to distract from the fact her mouth was not moving. By the time she butchered cartwheels and looked to have a fit, Ru had no choice but to eliminate her keep The Vixen around another week.

By the time Monique arrived backstage I was at peak Tyra, screaming my disappointment and trying to work through the pain of losing her chuckles for the sole reason of not knowing the damn lyrics. Being the angel that she is, however, she held me close and let me flail and sob until I had nothing more to give … and was able to focus on getting her head in the game for a future All Stars. Because America, damnit, I deserve that. Even more than Mon deserves something as glorious as my Monleek and Bacon Heartin.

 

 

Rich, delicately cooked potato, delightfully sweet leeks and salty, glorious bacon? Sign me up. And I mean up.

Enjoy!

 

 

Monleek and Bacon Heartin
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
600ml chicken stock
1kg potatoes, thinly sliced
2 leeks, thinly sliced
a couple of sprigs of thyme leaves
salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp double cream
6 rashers streaky bacon, diced

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Bring the stock to the boil in a pan over high heat. Once boiling, add the potatoes and leeks and bring back to the boil before reducing heat and simmering for ten minutes. Drain the potatoes and leek, reserving 1 cup of stock.

Layer the potatoes and leek in a baking dish, sprinkling with thyme throughout before pouring over the stock and cream. Given a good whack of salt and pepper before covering with foil and baking for 30 minutes.

While the gratin is in the oven, cook the bacon over medium heat until golden and crisp.

After half an hour in the oven, remove the gratin from the oven, remove the foil and scatter over the bacon. Return to the oven and cook for a further ten minutes or until golden and crisp.

Serve immediately and devour.

 

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