The Great Gatsby

Leonardo DiCapsicum & Feta Dip

Condiment, Dip, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVII: Gold with the Wind, Party Food, Side, Snack

Once again we’ve come to the end of another glorious Oscar Gold celebration in honour of tomorrow’s big day. Quickly on that note – I know I normally give you live behind the scenes coverage as I walk the red carpet, try and bribe the PWC auditors/steal their briefcase, reconnect with my many ex-lovers and script doctor the hosts efforts … but Jimmy banned me from doing it this year.

Something about my inflamatory way of behaving putting me perilously close from being banned from the Academy for life.

While I am pissed, the show must go on as Hollywood needs me. Plus, you guys need to know tips for your last minute bets.

Now for the moment we’ve been waiting decades for … I was finally able to welcome my dear friend Leo DiCaps to the Oscar Gold party. While it is tragic we will no longer have sad Leo memes at every couple of Oscars, I was ecstatic to be there – live tweeting, thank you Jim – to witness Leo finally snatch the statue after years in the Oscars’ bridesmaid wilderness.

I first met Leo on the set of his first film Critters 3 where we became fast friends of the mutual disappointment we felt for our co-stars. It was on that set that I decided to take him under my wing and help him reach the heights of fame.

I think it is no coincidence that he received his first unsuccessful Oscar nom less than two years later. Leo – and the wider world – you’re welcome.

Being a newly minted Best Actor winner, Leo and I giddily got to work discussing the odds for both the male categories. He agreed that Casey Affleck’s melancholic beauty in Manchester by the Sea deserves the glory … but it extremely concerned that Julia Robert’s will be loving her life again with Denzel pipping him at the post for a loud performance.

To be honest, if anyone is pipping Casey, it should be Viggo … but anyway.

Over in Best Supporting it is essentially a one horse race with there being no way in hell anyone is beating Mahershala Ali. Though I said that about Trump’s Presidency, so who knows?

Given that we both have suits to fit into tomorrow – as Leo asked me to attend as his date – I quickly whipped up a fresh Leonardo DiCapsicum & Feta Dip to mark the first anniversary of him breaking his Oscars drought.

 

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Creamy, tart and completely delicious. This dip is super easy to make and even easier to eat.

Enjoy!

 

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Leonardo DiCapsicum & Feta Dip
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 red capsicums, halved, deseeded, chargrilled and peeled
2 garlic cloves, roasted and thinly sliced
1–2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
250g feta
1 shallot, finely chopped
pinch of chilli flakes
pinch of smoked paprika
salt and black pepper, to taste
crusty baguette, Turkish bread or crackers, to serve

Method
Combine all the ingredients in a food processor.

Blitz.

Devour.

 

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Edward Berrcann Pull Apart

Dip, Oy with the turkeys already!, Party Food, Side, Snack

Oy, how my heart is breaking.

I was watching Kate McKinnon’s SNL cold open over the weekend, thinking I couldn’t possibly sob harder this week. Then I went back to visit Ed Herms one last time – I guess I just wasn’t expecting it to hurt as much as it did.

I’ve known Ed since the 70s, after meeting on the set of The Great Gatsby where I was involved in an affair with a strapping young chap by the name of Sam Waterston – fun fact, our relationship inspired his later show Grace & Frankie.

When the relationship ended in disaster, I caused a massive scene on set and it was Ed who stepped in, stopped me from getting kicked out and took me under his wing. That my friends, was the beginning of a beautiful friendship that lasted until his final breath.

Not wanting to arouse … suspicion and let him know how the future turns out – butterfly effect and all that … and by that, I hope that by not telling him the movie will be erased from history – I travelled back to the GG set during filming of the classic A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving.

It was such a treat to spend that little bit more time with him and celebrate filming a special episode for our favourite holiday together – I was an extra in Jackson’s family – and be reminded of the kind, loving presence he brought to set and, more importantly, my life.

Despite me worrying about how it would impact his health, I opted to stick with our old favourite for when he’d sit me down for a scotch to offer life advice, my Edward Berrcann Pull Apart.

 

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So yes, there is more than enough cheese in this little beauty to clog your arteries and bowel, and send your cholesterol through the roof. Well … maybe. I mean, I may be a doctor, but I am definitely not qualified. But how can you go past a shit tonne of cheese and bacon to simultaneously dull the pain of losing your friend and celebrate his beautiful life.

Exactly. Give thanks. Enjoy!

 

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Edward Berrcann Pull Apart
Serves: 1 Gilmore. 4-6 normals.

Ingredients
250g smoked bacon, diced
2 onions, diced
2 cloves of garlic, finely minced
1 tsp dried chilli flakes, optional … because you’re probably sick of me constantly using
chilli
115g butter, at room temperature
1 tbsp thyme leaves
1 cup vintage cheddar, grated
1 cup mozzarella, grated
cob loaf
handful chopped fresh parsley, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Heat a large frying pan over medium heat and cook the bacon, stirring, until golden and crisp, or about five minutes. Add the bacon, garlic and chilli flakes and cook for a further five minutes. Reduce heat to low and gently cook, stirring for a further fifteen minutes, or until soft and juicy. Remove from the heat.

Add the thyme, butter and a good whack of salt and pepper to the frying pan, stir and leave to sit for about fifteen minutes.

Meanwhile, carve a 3 cm cross-hatch pattern into top of the loaf, stopping about half a centimetre from the base. Transfer the loaf to a lined baking sheet.

Stir the cheeses – leaving some for the top – through the bacon mixture and spoon generously into all of the slits. Push it back together as tightly as possible, despite it being a losing battle, top with the reserved cheeses and bake for about twenty minutes, or until golden and bubbly.

Garnish with parsley, you know, to make it healthy and devour.

 

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Peanut Sesamia Farrow Noodles

Main

While we’ve had a lot of ups-and-downs in our relationship with 90% of HollywoodMia, she has always treated us with such warmth and empathy. That includes the time we viciously sold stories of her to the tabloids about how she was only adopting her children to complete a real-life recreation of the Von Trapps (to make up for her missing out on Leisel).

Oh, and the story about her having affairs with both Tom and Seth Green. How she forgave that, I’ll never know?

Despite our tumultuous past, Mia always likes to drop-by when she is the country (her father was Australian) and see how we are going … and make sure we haven’t spiralled out of control.

Mia made a special trip on her way back from some humanitarian, charity-ish, kinda thing (she is constantly doing that shit, it is hard to keep up/pay attention), to congratulate us on our soon to be celebrated/posted 50th recipe!

(I assume she wanted to force her way onto the site as the 49th recipe but after all the drama we have caused in the past, it is the least we can do).

Despite her motives, it was such a delight catching up with Mia, reminiscing over our mutual love for Bruce Dern, Edward Herrmann and Frank Sinatra (he fathered one of my children and two of Annelie’s) and obviously, our hatred for the detestable (slash our old friend) Patsy Kensit over a spicy bowl of Peanut Sesamia Farrow Noodles.

 

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Like Mia, the noodles are soft, spicy and a little bit cray in a really good way.

More importantly, now that we’ve been reminded, how can we best honour our (future Pulitzer-winning work) 50th recipe? More importantly, who would we want to celebrate onwith?

 

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Peanut Sesamia Farrow Noodles
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp sesame oil, plus extra for frying
1 tbsp garlic infused olive oil
1 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp sweet chilli sauce
2 tbsp hot sauce
100g crunchy peanut butter
2 tbsp lime juice
150g snow peas, rinsed and chopped in half
150g beansprouts, rinsed
1 red capsicum, deseeded and cut into thin strips
4 shallots, finely sliced
200g mushrooms, finely sliced
550g egg noodles
20g sesame seeds , plus extra to garnish
finely chopped fresh coriander, to garnish

Method
Whisk together the oils, sauces, peanut butter and lime juice in a jug, place aside.

Place egg noodles in a bowl of freshly boiled water and leave for five minutes. Drain and place aside.

Heat extra sesame oil in a large fry-pan/wok until hot and quickly stir-fry vegetables until vibrant yet crisp (a couple of minutes at the absolute max). Remove from heat, stir through liquid, sesame seeds and noodles.

Return to heat for a minute, if required. If not, serve and garnish with extra sesame seeds and coriander.