Sarah S’moore Bark

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor as both the Titans and Rebels grew more and more chaotic, ready to splinter at any moment, the producers chose chaos and switched up the tribes. Everyone switched onto new tribes except for Valeria, Charles and Winna at the Titans and Alex, Sarah and Rianna staying put on the Rebels. With both trios assuming all hope was lost for their games. After the Titans took out immunity, however, the OG Titans only planned to stay strong for a hot minute. Viola was keen to get rid of her nemesis Caroline, while Caroline had surprisingly on point reads, pulling Kitty aside to convince her they need to get her out before she and Mark turn on them. Forcing Mark to remain loyal to only them. After looping in the Rebel trio, the Middle Aged Mafia traded out Mark for Jaden and banded with the Rebels to blindside the iconic Viola. Pissing off Mark in the process.

The next day we checked in on the Titans where Feras, Scott and Raymond were busy putting on a little bit of pirate dinner theatre for the rest of the tribe. Scott spoke about how proud he was to be thriving on the show, though admitted he was missing his family at home. He spoke about how close he is becoming to the rest of the tribe, before we learnt a little more about his life back home as the Creative Director at MONA. He spoke about how good he is at connecting dots and how he is using that ability to see everyone’s plans and find the best options to make it to the end. Tragically his two closest allies Feras and Kirby were still very nervous about the other and as such, both were trying to figure out how to navigate the OG Titans to take control. Valeria meanwhile admitted that it was obvious Feras and Kirby were feuding and as such, she was hopeful she and the Titans could help them take control. Feras was first to float an alliance with her, while Kirby was playing a more subtle approach, though it was more personal and as such, appeared to be more compelling.

Over at the Rebels, Mark was keeping to himself before we flashed back to the night before where Caroline, Kitty and Eden tried to explain to him why they turned on Viola. Aka to make him closer to them. He asked them to give him some space to sleep on it, so we returned to the present day, where they once again tried to calmly explain why they got rid of V. While he just wished they had come to him instead and continued to work together, as they’re now at a disadvantage. He then pulled himself away to talk about how angry he was at the girls for turning on him, though assured us he would be hiding it until he could enact his revenge.

First step was to catch up with Alex in the shelter, with Mark pointing out that his new goal is to get rid of Caroline and Kitty, asking if Alex would be able to pull in Rianna and Sarah to take control with him. Mark warned that he would pretend to still be voting with the Middle Aged Mafia, though promised he was being genuine. Alex approached his fellow OG Rebels, with the girls agreeing they are happy to vote with whoever, planning to play the Titans off against each other until they make it to the merge.

The tribes caught up with my love JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to clear a path through a series of obstacles before winching a cart of puzzle pieces to the end. And then solve said puzzle, obviously. Well, after Valeria asked the Rebels who it was that initiated the blindside, leading to lies or silence from the former Titans. Who were, in a word, rattled. Despite this, the Rebels got out to a slight lead, as the Titans took a more slow and steady approach to clearing the path. The Rebels started to winch the puzzle pieces until they got completely stuck on the bridge, giving the Titans plenty of time to catch up and overtake, thanks to the brute strength of Kelli, TBH. Well, Kirby and Scott, but we haven’t seen much of Kelli, so let’s give her props, okay? Both tribes caught up on the puzzle with the Titans first to notice the puzzle was a gradient, after which it all fell into place and allowed them to methodically plug away, jagging immunity thanks to the guidance of zaddy art director.

Back at camp they tried to pretend it was a near loss, before splitting up to make dinner and get prepared for tribal council. Mark meanwhile was still focused on revenge – no doubt in honour of Shonee – as he caught up with the Middle Aged Mafia to suggest they split the votes between Rianna and Sarah, with the latter the genuine target. They all ate it up, confident that with Alex and Jaden, nothing could possibly go wrong. After locking it in, Kitty approached the girls to lock in their votes for Mark while Eden told Alex the legit plan. Well, legit until Mark approached the OG Rebels with the legit, legit plan to get rid of either Caroline or Kitty. Rianna and Sarah, meanwhile, felt aligning with Mark was too risky as he was desperate and as such, pulled Kitty aside to let her know that he and Alex were gunning for her. And ugh, this is why we can’t have nice things, ladies.

After getting the intel from the girls though, Kitty assumed it was a lie and as such, pulled the Middle Aged Mafia aside to assure them nothing will come between them and reconfirm the plan to split the vote on Sarah and Rianna. As such, he doubled down, pulling the OG Rebels aside to let them know the plan is not Kitty but instead Caroline and oh, he has an idol to protect himself. After Mark bounced, Alex caught up with Sarah and Rianna to ask them why they are hesitant. With Alex straight up telling them the Titans were planning to split the vote between the two of them and their only option is voting with Mark. For some reason, Sarah approached Kitty and Eden to ask if the vote was going to be split between her and Rianna. With everyone throwing out lies to confuse her. Sarah then grew increasingly more frustrated as it became apparent that everyone was talking without her. Then and only then, after creating absolute chaos and making it more dramatic than it needed to be, she went back to Mark with her tail between her legs to say she will gladly join him to get rid of Caroline.

At tribal council Rianna spoke about how Viola’s blindside highlighted there were oh so many cracks in the OG Titans. Mark spoke about how the blindside was contextual and he knows how to compartmentalise to avoid blowing things up. Kitty meanwhile admitted there was chaos back at camp that afternoon, essentially blaming it all on Sarah, who was just making a last ditch effort. Rianna on the other hand was hoping the conversations were legit, while Jaden countered that his afternoon was zen as he had a single convo and is happy to follow that plan. Eden spoke about the need to trust your gut and block out the sheer volume of noise, which Rianna agreed was her plan. Though she assured them she would love to be a few steps ahead, however, she was just too nervous ATM. This, in turn, made Sarah nervous, as she worried about how confusing the game was, feeling like she is learning while everyone else is an expert. This made Eden nervous, as he whispered to Kitty, Jaden and Caroline to abandon the split and load their votes on Sarah.

Though stupidly opted to not tell Mark, telegraphing that something was afoot.

With that the tribe voted, Mark played his idol for himself and because of Rianna getting spooked and flipping her vote to Mark, Sarah found herself booted. Despite the disappointment to be out of the game, by the time Sarah arrived at Loser Lodge, the admitted that she was grateful to not have to go through another pre-tribal council scramble. I assured her that despite the chaos of her short stint, it made for great TV and honestly, nobody has made more unforced errors than Rianna, and as such, she can always hold her head up high. And if that wasn’t enough to cheer her up, a huge batch of Sarah S’moore Bark.

S’mores are oh so perfect. And if Williams Sonoma taught us anything, so is a chocolate bark. So combining them into a majestic single dish is a no brainer. Smokey, sweet and a little creamy, it has all the glory of a s’more, without as many burn risks.

Enjoy!

Sarah S’moore Bark
Serves: 4-8, hunger dependent.

Ingredients
250g milk chocolate
½ tsp liquid smoke
½ cup mini marshmallows
½ cup Lauren Graham Crackers, crushed

Method
Melt the chocolate in a double boiler or microwave, until shiny. Stir in the liquid smoke and pour the mixture over a lined baking sheet.

Sprinkle with mini marshmallows and using a kitchen torch, gently scorch the marshmallows. You could also pop it until a high grill for a minute or two, or until golden. Followed quickly by sprinkling with the graham crackers.

Transfer to the fridge and leave to set completely for an hour before snapping into bark. And devouring.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Jelley Wentworth

Dessert, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance, Sweets

We regret to admit that we’ve had a checkered past with the zero-to-hero, stand-out star of Second Chances Kelley Wentworth. Very checkered history, but thankfully like her stint in game, Wentworth was a true survivor.

You see, and again we regret to admit this, the Wentworth’s were the original target of a farmhouse robbery Annelie and I had planned in the early 90s. We had both read In Cold Blood and while abhorred by the murderous rampage, it gave us the idea to start working as farm hands and swindling the families out of all their money.

Kelley’s dear father @FarmGuy69 fell for our plucky attitudes and hired us on the spot, but Kelley using her killer instincts called us out and won us over with her sneaky sneaky ways, taking the robbery target of her family.

I then entered into a torrid affair Dale which went on to inspire the short story and Academy Award Winning film Brokeback Mountain – I wish he knew how to quit me, but I have moves.

We remained close with the Wentworths throughout the years and played an integral role in helping craft Kelley’s casting campaign and connecting her with the right players going into the season.

If only we had taught her how to effectively handle balls!

There was only one thing we could make to help her move past the crushing, million dollar fumble and that is a nice, boozy Jelley Wentworth.

 

Jelley Wentworth_1

 

Kitsch, fun and bright, jelly is something that instantly makes you happy – million dollar drop be damned.

See you for third time’s the charm Kel – we love you!

Enjoy!

 

Jelley Wentworth_2

 

Jelley Wentworth
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
200ml vodka
100ml peach schnapps
200ml cranberry juice
200ml pineapple juice
5 leave gelatine
1 oranges, flesh diced
1/4 cup glace cherries, finely diced

Method
Combine all of the liquid in a large jug, giving a good stir.

Tear all of the gelatine into small pieces and place in a small ceramic bowl and just cover with hot water. Leave to soften for 15 minutes.

Bring a small saucepan of water to a simmer. Place the bowl of gelatine on top and stir until completely dissolved. This should take about 5 minutes.

Once dissolved, combine with the liquid in the jug. Give it a good stir and decant, through a fine sieve, into 6 containers. Obviously martini glasses are preferred.

Refrigerate until set – about 6 hours should do.

Devour and think tropical, almost a millionaire thoughts.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Meryl Streeped Fruits

Condiment, Dessert, Sauce, Side, Snack

The festive season is right around the corner and more importantly, our festive spectacular commences on Monday however being festive as fuck, we just knew that we had to catch up with our girl Meryl before we get blackout drunk and put on 50kgs.

For anyone desperate to claim fame for themselves by befriending and swindling celebrities (like how we originally started, now we’re indifferent to our fame/infamy), Meryl is your white whale; thrice awarded by The Academy, one time love interest to Rick Springfield and Allison Janney and lucky enough to have starred opposite the incomparable Roseanne Barr.

Plus she is so talented, that you couldn’t even tell that she was in excruciating pain listening to Pierce screech in Mamma Mia!

Meryl is a global treasure and the greatest thing to happen to the thespian community ever (well until my film debut in the film adaptation of my Tony Award winning Little Whorephan Andy: The Musical) and we are so honoured to be able to call her our friend.

We first met Meryl in rehab while she was researching her role in Postcards from the Edge – thanks to our advice, Mez was lucky enough to earn her ninth Academy Award nomination and our relationship was cemented by her eternal thanks. She didn’t realise it at the time but we had also inspired our girl Carrie to write Postcards from the Edge while in rehab together, giving us unparalleled perspective on the characters, as they were based on our numerous personalities.

Throughout the years, Meryl has stood by us; supporting us when we were in and out of jail/rehab/anger management, helping connect us with countless friends to help get our stories on the silver screen and letting us hang with her hundreds of awards, despite the fact we generally put them on eBay.

We haven’t seen Meryl in about a year due to the post traumatic stress disorder we got from watching the sixteen hour song that opened her rare flop, Into the Woods. (Seriously though, just get in the fucking woods and stop running your mouths). But Christmas is the time for forgiving and forgetting, and we are so glad Meryl was willing to drop by and help us with this year’s edible gift Meryl Streeped Fruits … and to move past the trauma.

 

Meryl Streeped Fruits_1

 

Meryl is so down to earth and is a live wire, meaning her namesake needed to be something boozy, fun, earthy and little bit wild.

Trust us, this fits the bill – enjoy!

 

Meryl Streeped Fruits_2

 

Meryl Streeped Fruits
Makes: Enough to fill a 500ml jar.

Ingredients
250g mixed dried fruit, I went with cherries, craisins, currants and raisins
250ml Grand Marnier, plus an extra 100ml

Method
Sterilise your jar/s – the dishwasher is probably your easiest route.

Once they have cooled, place the fruit in the jar and top with the 250ml of Grand Marnier. Seal the jars tightly and place in a cool dark place to steep for about four-five days.

The fruit, like me, will gobble up most of the booze so top it up with the extra Grand Marnier if needed after this time.

Then you’re free to go all Oprah and your loved ones. YOU get a jar! YOU get a jar! YOU get a jar!

We’re going to get BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZZZZZYYYYYY!

Oh and if your filling multiple smaller jars, just spread your fruit and booze evenly amongst the jars. Yes, it is obvious and I’m sure you could figure that out – but what if you couldn’t?

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.