Caramelised Connieon Stevens Dip

Dip, Party Food, Side, Snack

My time back in, time, got me thinking about all of my old Hollywood friends. That in turn reminded me of the rapidly approaching double anniversary of doom of Deb and Carrie, reminding me that I really need to put in more of an effort with my dear friend Connie Stevens.

While my relationship with Joely was so adversarial – in a friendly way though – enough to inspire the hit film Drop Dead Gorgeous, my bond with Con has been nothing with diamonds. Though sans rosé, that is reserved for the VanderpumpTodds.

Anywho, I first met Con in ‘69 – giggity – while touring with the Bob Hope USO tour to Guam and Southeast Asia. While my sexually aggressive boylesque wasn’t as well received as it would be today, Con took me under her wing and we became the best of friends.

Despite the fact it was my affair with Eddie that ruined her marriage.

Thankfully Con is hella forgiving, and currently hella available, so forgave me and continued our dear friendship … meaning she was super keen to reconnect post-thanksgiving slash pre-Christmas.

While we had a huge falling out in the late noughties – since she refused to cast me in her directorial debut – our mutual losses of the last year melted away the ice between us. Enough to reconcile this holiday season. And boy am I thankful for that.

We laughed, we cried, we lamented why we let such petty things get in the way of our friendship – particularly when me wrecking her home didn’t ruin it – over a big fat bowl of my Caramelised Connieon Stevens Dip.

 

 

While it may not be the best for my gastroenterological system, caramelised onion is damned near perfection. Sweet, tart and earthy, this dip is the perfect accompaniment for a mournful, or triumphant day. Aka it is versatile, which is what everyone wants in a date.

Enjoy!

 

 

Caramelised Connieon Stevens Dip
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
olive oil
2 onions, thinly sliced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp Sriracha
½ tsp smoked paprika
1 tbsp sage leaves, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste
1 ½ cups sour cream
¼ cup mayonnaise
1 tbsp Dijon mustard

Method
Heat  a good lug of oil in a frying pan over low heat. Add the onion and garlic and cook for 15 minutes. Stir through the sugar, Worcestershire, Sriracha, paprika, sage and a good whack of salt and pepper, and cook for a further 10 minutes. Remove from the heat and allow to cool completely.

When cool, combine everything in a bowl together and chill for an hour or so before devouring.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Kimmi Kappenbergers

Main, Party Food, Snack, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance

Dear, sweet, chicken protecting, clam eating Kimmi – so close, yet so far. After close to fifteen years on the bench, the original KK made her way back to the island but was undone by the greatest tribal council of all time featuring double idols, nullified votes, tied votes and our ex-lover Keith willing to quit for super K to make it one step further.

But alas, our dear friend Kim went to Ponderosa. Fun fact, while dear Varner couldn’t follow through, Kimmi stuck to the hallowed tradition of having an Australian Outback contestant make the finale of their returning season.

As you know, we hitched a ride on the Survivor: The Australian Outback pre-jury vacay and bonded with Kimmi over our love for public nudity and penchant for getting into loud, violent public screaming matches.

Kimmi played a low-key game as the start of Second Chances, working hard and building relationships and came to a Ciera-esque realisation that she was playing for fourth too late resulting in the aforementioned tribal council majesty.

Wanting to avoid starting any Ponderosa brawls and upsetting Kumbaya Kass, we kept away from clams and made our famous, Kimmi Kappenbergers as congratulations for a job well done.

 

Kimmi Kappenbergers_1

 

Not wanting to harm any chickens (or face Monnie’s wrath when we next saw her), we piled our burgers with haloumi and mushrooms, aka the two greatest vegetarian ingredients – Kimmi earned it!

Enjoy!

 

Kimmi Kappenbergers_2

 

Kimmi Kappenbergers
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
250g haloumi
2 large mushrooms
2 brown onions
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
olive oil
2 burger buns
pickled roasted peppers, to serve
rocket, to serve

Method
Slice haloumi into 5mm slabs, remove the stalks from the mushrooms and finely slice the onions.

Heat a lug of oil in a frypan over low heat and add the onions and a pinch of salt. Cook very slowly for 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent them from sticking to the pan.

When onions are softened, add sugar and balsamic. Cook over low heat for a further 5-10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until sticky and caramelised. Leave aside.

Heat a second fry pan over medium heat, add a lug of oil and cook haloumi for about 2 minutes, flip just once and cooking for a further 2 minutes. Remove the haloumi from the heat.

In the same pan, fry the mushroom open side up for about 5 minutes, again flip just once and cook for a further 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and wipe pan clean – carefully to avoid burning yourself, obviously. Slice your buns and fry for a minute or two to lightly toast.

To build the burger, place some caramelised onion on the base, followed by rocket, the haloumi, then the mushroom, then (if you want) more onions or rocket and top with some pickled roasted peppers.

Devour and share with your favourite chickens!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.