Darienne Blakeberry Martini

Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars, fresh off touring together – and knowing they were massive threats as a runner-up and Ru’s fave, respectively – Kandy and Jimbo vowed to keep each other safe. Along with their fellow tour mate – and another Ru fave – Heidi. That wasn’t necessary yet, however, as The Supermarket Ball saw them all thrive to varying degrees, alongside Alexis and Jessica. On the other hand, it proved to be a struggle for our old gals with MKD proud that can’t sew – she is not Amish and has good credit, after all – and Darienne struggling with the finishing touches. Before taking the runway, Heidi admitted she wasn’t sure if she’d vote on track record, which made Kahanna nervous, given it is what saved her the week before. Ultimately she didn’t have to worry as MKD and Darienne landed in the bottom, Heidi threatened to quit for being safe, while Jessica’s creativity won out and then she beat lip sync assassin Ra’Jah to jag $30k. And tragically eliminate MKD.

Backstage the dolls were exhausted but thrilled to have made it through the ball, while Jessica was gagged to have won more money in the lip sync than the winner of her original season. Jessica admitted that she saved Darienne because she clearly has the fire and that MKD essentially told her she was good to go. The dolls sat down, leading to Darienne counting out the lipsticks with Jaymes and Jimbo admitting to being two of the votes, given they are sticking to voting solely on track record. Jessica meanwhile got iconic, asking if anyone wants to admit they aren’t happy with her win, with Kahanna telling her that she was shocked, though not disappointed. Jaymes spoke about really wanting it but assured her that she was proud of her, with Heidi also talking about not thinking she was going to win but being proud of her nonetheless. And while the congratulations sucked, trust and believe Jessica was fired up to continue slaying and send them home one by one. Like an icon.

The next day Heidi’s energy was back up, ready to jag her first win by smashing a hyman – or heisman, who knows – before the dolls lolled about MKD’s mess of a final dress. After Jimbo tossed her salad at the dolls, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be writing and filming trailers for new shows. And to assign teams, they’d need to smash balloons with the Pit Crew, so fucking swoon. Lala was topped by Bruno into the green team, Kahanna bottomed for Bryce into green before Kandy took it from Bruno until she landed on the purple team. Darienne haphazardly topped Bryce into the blue, Heidi also bottomed for Bruno into green, Jessica was eiffel towered into purple, Jaymes was choked into blue, Bryce took it from Alexis into blue before Jimbo rounded out purple. Despite not getting face fucked, as per her request.

After everyone tidied up, the groups split up to brainstorm their shows with Alexis, Darienne and Jaymes trying to pick a genre, and while Jaymes has voted for Darienne twice now, she lived for Darienne’s island of fake-dead celebs ala Lost. And while Alexis felt like it was too convoluted to sell in a short time, she trusted her sisters were funny enough to make it work. Kahanna, Lala and Heidi were focused on logic and humour, going with two dumb dumbs trying to kidnap a hottie. Who ultimately escapes because her tucking panties are rank. Jimbo, Jessica and Kandy – aka the winning team – were going with Heathers does Carrie, until Kandy suggested spoofs won’t take out victory given the judges may not think they are creative. And since Jimbo and Kandy argued over who should play the killer – one of them or the Pit Crew – maybe I jinxed them and Heidi is finally going to get her win. Because Jimbo is right in thinking Ru just wants to laugh and doesn’t care about logic.

We followed them straight to set to film with Emmy winner Michelle Visage where Kandy struggled to fake-out with Bryce, Jessica slayed faking a blow job with Bruno before Jimbo tried to pull lippie out of all the holes. And while Michelle was worried they’d get cancelled, I am hopeful this is going to be a hilarious, sexy classic. Lala and Heidi meanwhile were unhinged in all the right ways, which made Kahanna nervous about not being up to their level. Darienne meanwhile was still vibing her concept, Alexis was smutty and Jaymes was surprisingly off and damn, I hope this is a fake out because I am rooting for them to have their breakout moment this week.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to work through the key art for their shows, with Team Run Queen Run – Lala, Heidi and Kahanna – quickly locking something before kikiing about how the other teams did. Alexis meanwhile was nervous about their commercial, given Michelle gave them nothing during filming. Kandy and Jimbo meanwhile spoke about the fact the dolls view them as the biggest threats, speculating that if they land in the bottom, they will definitely be going home. They then formed an alliance with Jessica, vowing to protect each other should that happen. They called over Alexis to talk about how her team went with Alexis confident she wasn’t the worst, hinting it is Jaymes and gurl, please leave her alone. Kandy meanwhile checked in with how Heidi was feeling and while I think it was genuine, Heidi returned to being flustered, feeling like Kandy was trying to make her appear weak in front of everyone and paint a target on her back. Heidi then went off, telling Lala that she has tea that was spilled off camera and trust, if and when she reveals it, it will turn besties into enemies real fast.

Ru, Michelle and TS were joined by young Maude Apatow as the Ass The World Turns runway was opened – all the way up – by Jaymes in an iconic Mayan goddess bodysuit with all the curves in all the right places. Darienne gave golden space warrior, Alexis gave bridal badonkadonk – complete with natural cake – Kandy served anime blow-up doll realness, Jessica was glamorous in white – with a kiss on her arse, to boot – Jimbo gave the alien, upmarket version of Kandy’s runway, Heidi zagged serving slutty Eeyore, Kahanna served the journey to her implanted butt before Lala closed the show in a stunning red suit in front with a full arse out, in the back.

When it came to their commercials, Get Off Island was a bit of a mess but still fun, as Darienne played a stunning bimbo. Jessica, Kandy and Jimbo meanwhile were perfect from start to finish, with Jimbo the breakout of Best Friends 4 Never as she turned into a murderous nerd. While group Run Queen Run were fun and camp, though it was mainly due to Heidi and Lala’s accent work. Ru then gagged the dolls announcing that this week would be judged as teams, with Run Queen Run sent to safety before Jaymes received praise for her Marilyn, though was read for their commercial not having any laughs. Though her look was beloved. Darienne was praised for slaying her role and looking the best she’s ever looked, though read for not giving enough jokes. While Alexis was deemed the best on the runway, though their sketch was just pleasant. 

Obviously Alexis immediately threw Darienne under the bus for coming up with the concept as she apologised to the judges. Darienne meanwhile pointed out that everything has been done before, so she felt it was a good concept. Moving on to the other group Kandy received universal praise for her mean girl schtick while the judges lived for the spoof concept, given it gave them room to play. Oh and they loved her outfit. Jessica too was beloved though Michelle cautioned that she needed to add more highlights to her make-up. While Jimbo received all the top marks, given she is a star and was far and away the best actress across all the commercials. Which is why she took out her second victory of the season, while all three of the bottom team were up for elimination. Officially.

Backstage Heidi, Lala and Kahanna were thrilled to be safe, with the latter thrilled that her implants and the runway saved her. The trio spoke about how fun a week they had, putting that down as the reason for succeeding. Kahanna meanwhile thanked her sisters for helping her get the confidence to slay and ugh, I love this for them. Talked turned to Heidi’s moment last week, with her admitting she is grateful to have cleared her head and be able to just have fun. They then started speculating who the tops and bottoms would be, agreeing that the school girls would definitely be winning while one of the islanders would be getting off.

As they spoke about Darienne being an icon, the tops and bottoms joined and immediately confirmed their suspicions on placements. Alexis again spoke about wishing she had mentioned she wasn’t vibing on the concept, with Darienne pointing out she could have thrown out ideas but she didn’t and her calling out Darienne felt like she was excusing herself of any blame. And while I get what Alexis is saying, it wasn’t nice. Good TV, but not nice. Jaymes was first to kiki with Jimbo pointing out she has had a solid run thus far and as such, she feels she should stay and continue her rudemption. And given they were vibing, we can mark her down as definitely safe. Darienne meanwhile agreed with the dolls that while her track record hasn’t been great, she doesn’t really feel like people should focus on track records. Alexis immediately refuted that, saying there should be grace for one stumble and she is here for both herself and her sisters. Despite throwing one under the bus.

Alexis was next to kiki with Jimbo, with Jimbo straight up asking her to identify who should go home with Alexis saying Darienne owned the concept and as such, that would be a reason to go home while Jaymes was also the weakest performance. While Jimbo hilariously wanted to send her out for not having her sisters’ back. Jaymes meanwhile told the dolls that her track record should speak for herself and that she has come a long way. Oh and she will shit in everyone’s station if they kick her out. Darienne meanwhile assured Jimbo that keeping her will be best for her game, and that if she were saved, there will be undying loyalty and werk, Darienne. Let’s hope Jimbo rewards her wanting to play the game, rather than punishes it.

Oh and then Maude dropped by and was so cute and sweet, but that is all. 

With that the dolls voted before Jimbo took her place on stage where she learnt that this lip sync she’d be losing to the OG drama queen, Shannel. As soon as Joan Jett’s Bad Reputation kicked off however, Jimbo looked ready to win her first lip sync as she served rocker in all the right ways. Sadly for her though, so did Shannel. And well, she had a little Vegas showgirl reveal alongside some comedy tricks, complete with broken nails, which was enough to secure her the win, making Jimbo 0 from 5. After she took her place at the back of the stage, Shannel announced that despite a solid week where she wouldn’t have been in the bottom if it wasn’t judged in groups, poor Darienne’s return was cut short. And ugh, I am heartbroken.

As Darienne arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug as I sobbed, gutted to have lost our old dames back to back. I then apologised for not being a massive fan in Season 6, with Darienne reminding me that isn’t really relevant, though I wanted her to know how drastically my opinion had changed. Darienne – the icon who served your mother darns socks in hell – has always been a polished, talented performer, however this season, it felt like she had less to prove so she was just vibing and having fun. And in turn, I had fun watching her slay – despite what the placements would have you believe – which to me, more than earns her a toast with a Darienne Blakeberry Martini.

Sweet, tart and a little bit sour, this drink has it all. The blackberry, lemon and gin work perfectly to refresh your palate and cleanse the soul, to avoid the socks in hell sitch.

Enjoy!

Darienne Blakeberry Martini
Serves: a lake’s worth, or 4.

Ingredients
2 cups blackberries
¼ cup crème de cassis
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 cup gin
2 tbsp Triple Sec
1 tbsp sugar syrup
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice, plus lemon wedges to prep
kosher salt

Method
Blitz the blackberries, creme de cassis and sugar in a blender until smooth and strain into a jug.

Fill a martini shaker with ice, top with the gin, triple sec, lemon juice, sugar syrup and ⅓ cup of the berry puree. Shake like a polaroid picture, which you’re not meant to do, for about 20 seconds, or until well combined.

Rub the rims of the glasses with lemon and press into a little bit of salt – I know, very marg, but I’m a salty gal. Divide the martini amongst the glasses, then down, like the legend you are.


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Samantha Bellinitines

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls put on a little talent show. Though not until after reading each other for filth, where Sharonne destroyed the competition and took out victory. In the talent show, Ariel was there, Samantha was messy and Sharonne was an absolute star. After demolishing both challenges and the runway, Sharonne took out victory while Samantha and Ariel landed in the bottom. And after another wild Samantha lip sync, she managed to save herself while Ariel exited the competition. And my basement became just that little bit less flooded.

Backstage Samantha was gagged to not only have lip synced again but to have survived over Ariel and as such, she was fired up to really shine. Drag Sethlas meanwhile was super gagged that Ariel went out so soon before Diamante interjected to explain that she feels like Samanatha lost the lip sync and that she should have been the one to go instead. Thankfully before it descended into chaos, Onyx cut through the shade and got the dolls to focus on Sharonne’s well deserved victory and led the girls in congratulating her.

The next day the dolls were going a little batty, impersonating animals and living their best lives. Things were still a little awkward between Samantha and Diamante as everyone spoke about how much they missed Ariel (for her cleaning services), before Supremme dropped by to task them with this week’s mini challenge. Where they would do some very quick, quick drag and complete the look with some shower caps. Which made sense when the Pit Crew were wheeled out to creampie them. El Gran Juego de la Loca style. As is oft the case when they are wheeled out, it doesn’t really matter what the queens were doing because the pit crew are muy guapo.

Ultimately though Onyx and Diamante took out victory and while I don’t know how exactly they got there, I do know what they won. As did all of us. While they also got the chance to decide teams in this week’s Maxi Challenge, improv-ing their way through an episode of Putricia’s Diario which seems to be a little like Sally Jesse Raphael. Though obviously far more wild.

As Supremme exited, Onyx and Diamante joined up to go through the scenes and figure out which parts were best slash they should take for themselves. Then surround themselves with the people they wanted, leaving the dregs for the final team. That led to Diamante, Estrella and Sharonne forming one team, Sethlas, Marina, Venedita and Jota Cara formed the dregs group, while Samantha, Juriji and Onyx were the final team. The dolls split up with the two former groups vibing well and very confident in their chances of taking out the win, while Team Onyx worried Diamante would be overshadowed by her loud sisters. While the leftover group were just ready to prove themselves.

The dolls quickly made it to the set to film Putricia’s Diario with Supremme where Diamante was immediately overshadowed by her sisters as they bounced off each other and lived their best lives. Except for when Estrella kept eating raw onion like Tony Abbott. She didn’t live for that. The team of leftovers were strong from start to finish, slapping it out like likeable Will Smiths and being equally camp and demented, just as the challenge required. Though given Venedita got to make out with the Pit Crew, she is the winner in my eyes. Rounding out the show, Samantha was committed and wild as an ageing dominatrix on Team Onyx. While Juriji writhed around in flan – only flans, geddit – Onyx was barking mad and tragically getting scene partners seemed to hurt Smanatha, as she struggled to keep up.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with Diamante happy with her strategy to pick a strong team, knowing it should be enough to keep her safe. Which is not a sentiment echoed by all of the queens who felt she was overshadowed. Before it could blow up the dolls split up to beat their mugs with Jota, Estrella, Marine and Onyx kiki-ing together, with Estrella struggling to buy any of Jota’s stories and well, it is a level of pettiness I live for. Venedita and Sharonne meanwhile were kiki-ing quietly, bonding over how hard they have worked and how much they love their careers. Sharonne opened up about how drag also gave her the flexibility to look after her sick father over the last decade as well and it was a sweet moment and I ship them hard. Oh and I love Sharonne’s dad dying on gay pride. I mean, iconic.

Supremme, Ana and the Javiers were joined by Eduardo Cassanova for my favourite runway theme across all the franchises – Night of 1000 Almodovar’s leading ladies! Drag Sethlas was stunning in a floor length red gown in honour of Tilda Swinton. Estrella chewed up the stage in honour of Kika – prosthetic teeth, get it? – Samantha Ballentines was a camp star in honour of Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. Venedita Von Dash was iconic in honour of Bad Education and honestly, it was perfection from start to finish. Diamante slayed as The Skin I Live In, literally, as she bled all over the stage. Sharonne was a stunning old dame from High Heels, Jota was an avant garde delight in black and red in honour of Kika. Juriji was a perfect vamp as she served Penelope Cruz in Broken Embraces. Marina was a sexy tigress in honour of The Skin I Live In, while Onyx was a bit sloppy as Kika.

Ultimately Sethlas, Juriji, Marina and Onyx were deemed safe and sent backstage to untuck before the judges heaped praise on Estrella for all that she did from the challenge to the runway. Samantha meanwhile was somehow read for filth for not giving enough on the runway, despite looking the best she has looked. Venedita was praised for knocking each and everything out of the park. Diamante meanwhile was read for being overshadowed in the challenge, despite them loving her runway. Sharonne delighted the judges by staying in her runway character, though given how they ate up everything she served this week, it shouldn’t be a shock they loved her. Oh and then Jota was read for filth for getting lost in the challenge and not adapting the look well enough.

Backstage Marina was complaining about her team and the lack of connection she had with them. While Juriji just quietly, calmly took it all. And then lay in some calmly cold reads and ugh, I live for her! Particularly the way she effortlessly made them all giggle mid-fight about Marina’s farting, Marina included, which is iconic. Before Onyx told them to shut up and celebrate being safe. The tops and bottoms returned to the work room where Samantha shared that once again she is bottom while Diamante knew she would be the one facing off against her. Jota meanwhile admitted her team was a mess before they all put it to bed by having a drink.

Ultimately Venedita took out her first victory of the season before Sharonne and Estrella were sent to safety. When it came to the bottoms, it was Diamante that narrowly avoided lip syncing leaving Jota to face off against the undefeated lip sync assassin Samantha Ballentines. But as soon as Un año de amor by Luz Casal started, it was Jota’s spot to lose as she leant into all the emotion and hit every lyric. While Samantha gave us calm, muted comedy and was as iconic as usual, Jota pulled a Sasha Velour and flooded the stage with roses and honestly, had the judges feeling all the feels they were straight up crying. As such, Jota lived to fight another day while the iconic Samantha was finally felled.

Backstage Samantha was as upbeat and charming as she usually is, even before I praised her for such an iconic run, Despite her track record. There is no denying that Samanatha left her mark on the competition and her brand of silliness will truly be missed. And when we have that feeling, there will always be room for a Samantha Bellinitines or two!

I know I have the reputation for sucking alcohol out of a deodorant, but this drink it straight up the greatest thing. Even before it dulls all of your pains. The sweetness from the peach mix with the fizziness of the sparkling to sooth the soul and make everything alright.

Enjoy!

Samantha Bellinitines
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4 peaches, peeled and pitted
1 tbsp sugar syrup 
2 cups sparkling wine

Method
Pop the peaches in a blender and blitz with the sugar syrup for a minute or to before straining into a bottle and chilling for an hour or so.

When you’re ready to drank, pour 1 tbsp of puree into a champagne flute and top with sparkling. Down and repeat until buzzed. Or satiated.


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Jasmine Kennedie

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls went back to the ‘60s in honour of the iconic girl groups of the era. As she could not sing any damn notes, at all, Jasmine was focused on remembering the choreography while the iconic Kerri was read for only serving looks. And for being too damn churchy. Despite Bosco and Willow slaying the game, Daya took out the win – after straight up refusing to do any other song. While the rest of the queens were shocked DeJa was in the top, rather than the bottom it was Jasmine and Kerri that landed in the bottom. And despite turning a show, Jasmine won the lip sync and sweet, iconic Kerri went home.

Backstage Jasmine was relieved to still be in the competition though was heartbroken it came at the cost of Kerri, who inspired her to finally live her truth. She opened up to her sisters about how much of a fan she was of Kerri prior to the show, with Bosco trying to remind her it is a competition and sending people home is something they have to do to move on. The dolls sat down and congratulated Daya on her victory with Angeria trying to downplay her bitchiness, while Daya reiterated she is competitive but is sorry she has come down as pretty awful. While Willow admitted she was just glad nobody realised how competitive she is too. Bosco admitted that the safe girls through DeJa was going to be in the bottom, leading to DeJa desperate to finally get a win and to prove herself.

The next day Ru dropped by almost immediately to put the girls through their paces photobombing some famous menzeses. Daya was up first trying to fist Lil Nas X, Angeria was hilarious as she tried to get Becks, Camden spanked Borat, Willow was a demented Marie Lou Redden on Jack Gyllenhaal’s dog. Bosco, Gorgeous and Jasmine were all good in their pics while DeJa was unhinged trying to finger bang Shawn Mendes. But obviously none of it mattered as Willow was head-stand and shoulders above the rest.

Ru then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be split into two groups to discuss men on duelling Drag Con Panels. And as the winner of the Mini Challenge, Willow was able to select her group, immediately picking DeJa, Angeria and Camden. Leaving Bosco to be stuck with Jasmine, Jorgeous and Daya. The latter of whom was enraged, yet again, to be stuck with her team.

The groups split up to get to work with Willow suggesting DeJa should be the A-Team’s moderator, before Angeria asked whether the panel was meant to be in character or if they should show themselves, with Willow encouraging her to think of it as chatting with her friends. Team Leftovers started by teaching Jorgeous what the word moderator meant before Jasmine requested to be the moderator, which annoyed the hell out of Daya. Obviously. She tried to dance around the fact she thought it was a bad idea, instead asking if Bosco thinks she, Bosco, would be better. Essentially jumping on her with Jorgeous as soon as Bosco said she’d be interested in doing it, with Jasmine admitting its probs for the best. Bless.

Ru dropped by to chat with the dolls, with Team Willow opening up about talking about their fathers as it is a universal topic for them. DeJa opened up early, talking about not being in touch with her father. Angeria admitted she had done a panel before in a pageant and while she lost, it taught her to not waste time and to get to the point. Ru encouraged them to think it is like kiki-ing with your friends – good job Willow! – though was worried that Camden wasn’t believing in herself. Team Bosco mainly focused on the tensions between Daya and Jasmine, with Ru asking Jasmine how she intends to make sure everyone gets a turn in the spotlight. While Ru encouraged them to really open up with each other and find the stories that pack the most punch, Bosco was reminded they need to keep it funny.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls getting ready for their panels with Team Bosco feeling more confident in their plan thanks to their rehearsal. Camden meanwhile was thinking she would look just like her mother on the panel, while DeJa was happy that Willow chose her in the team because she had been wanting to get a chance to work with her. While Camden was narrating her own nature doco, Willow let rip an epic burp and freed Angeria of Camden’s watchful eye.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on their panel by Nicole Byer for the Dragcon Panels with DeJa opening the show looking like a dream and super confident. All in all the group were fun, bouncing off each other well and being oh so charming. Willow was hilarious, Angeria was cute and fun while poor Camden worried about her performance, though honestly, confusing Blake Shelton for Blake Lively was comedic gold. When they turned to talking about their fathers, all the dolls gave a lot of heart and honestly, it was really great to see. 

When it came to the other team, Bosco was far and away the star of the show, hilarious from start to finish giving one liner after one liner and ugh, it was fun. Jasmine tried her best to avoid going off on tangents, Jorgeous was cute and fun – though clearly nervous – while Daya lit up when it came to talk about the men of WWE though beyond that, she was just there, while Bosco slayed.

On the Shoulder Pad runway DeJa looked perfect as a footballer in Chanel, Camden was adorable as a sexy nutcracker, Willow was a punky CEO from the future, Angeria was a perfect houndstooth harlequin. Bosco was stunning in a sexy raincoat over a metalic stripper outfit, while Jorgeous was shimmering in blue though not really giving shoulder pads, moreso puffs while Jasmine was sexy in a lime neon jumpsuit. And Daya looked like an extra from Mad Mex, the Mad Max dinner theatre that serves solely Mexican food.

After Angeria and Camden were sent to safety, DeJa received universal praise for being a warm and effective host, though Michelle wanted her to be a little looser. Oh and she looked a million bucks on the runway. Willow was read for not giving enough shoulder pad on the runway though they lived for everything she did on the panel. Michelle read Bosco’s look for being a little basic, though everyone lived for how she slayed the game on the panel. Jorgeous was read for being more puff than pads (told ya) and for being in her head on the panel. Jasmine received universal praise for her look, though was read for blending into the crowd in the panel despite looking like magician Nancy Reagan, the throat GOAT. And then Daya was praised for being there.

Backstage Angeria and Camden quickly speculated who they felt would be in the top and bottom, with Angeria immediately locking in the correct placements and speculating DeJa may finally take out a win after her strong week. Though they lived for how wise Willow was and generally feeling like Bosco was just an absolute star. While kiki-ing about the fact it was now at the point of nitpicking, the tops and bottoms joined them with Jasmine quickly admitting she is in the bottom though was ready to just prep for the lip sync.

Poor Jorgeous started to break down about being in the bottom too, wanting to prove she could apply what the judges have been trying to tell her. As the girls rallied around her, they reminded her the judges just want the best for her. Oh and then Daya admitted that she gets why she was in the bottom because the rest were all strong. After Willow opened up about her father’s death, Angeria’s parents popped up on screen and well, they were absolutely adorable as was Angeria’s reaction and how happy her sisters looked for her. Angeria congratulated Bosco and DeJa for being such stars as the moderators, with Jorgeous grateful Bosco forced her to open up on the mainstage. While Jasmine was just glad the team talked her out of being their moderator. Nicole joined them for a chat and ugh, it was super cute and honestly, is Nicole the greatest person to grace the planet?

The dolls returned to the mainstage where Bosco took out another very well deserved victory while Willow and DeJa were sent to safety, with Daya narrowly avoiding the lip sync leaving the assassins to face off to Something’s Gotta Hold on Me by Etta James. And well, they sure did put on a show! Kicking and flipping around the stage, they were fun and fierce and well it was the best. They bounced off each other and worked together to charm the judges before Jasmine straight up did the splits every four counts and well, it was perfect. Earning them a very well deserved double shantay.

Backstage Jasmine and Jorgeous were feeling their oats, thrilled to have turned a show for the queens and still be stuck at the top eight. Which obviously annoyed the embodiment of saltiness, Daya. Which Jasmine admitted only made her feel better, given she is looking forward to lip syncing against anyone and sending them home. After the dolls praised Bosco for her win, DeJa opened up about how frustrating it has been to be so close to so many wins but admitted she is still proud of Bosco. While Bosco worried that they’ve done so well, that it is hard to meet Ru’s growing expectations.

The next day Ru arrived and cut off Jasmine mid-stream to task the dolls with a little mini challenge where they pulled together a cute little outfit made out of bubble wrap. Jorgeous was a sexy, skanky mess, Camden looked like drunk lady at the end of the races, Angeria gave full glamour – of course – Willow was a sexy pool noodle, Daya Betty scared me, DeJa was an 80s delight, Bosco was a red hot dominatrix rocker and Jasmine was a demented delight. While Angeria was full glamour, it was Bosco that took out victory before Ru gagged the queens with the news that they would finally be playing the snatch game.

Everyone was a mix of excited and terrified as they quickly split up to prep their characters with Camden playing William Shakespeare, Willow locked in Drew Barrymore and Bosco would be Gooping it up as Gwyneth Paltrow. Ru dropped by to kiki with the queens with Jorgeous doing Ilana Glazer as Ilana in Broad City. Despite Ru trying to push her into Aubrey Plaza. Daya locked in Ru’s sweetheart Ozzy Osbourne, though admitted she is very nervous despite the fact she can hide behind Ozzy’s stumbling, rambling demeanour. Angeria is doing the icon herself, Tammie Brown and damn she was excited to walk the children in nature. Jasmine is playing devil incarnate Betsy DeVos, DeJa is going with Lil Jon, while Camden was going to mock herself as William Shakespeare. Though will make it Joanna Lumley.

The queens joined Ru for Snatch Game, with contestants Dove Cameron and the iconic Raven. Camden started strong, Jasmine was boring despite trying hard, Angeria was hilarious, Jorgeous was just bad bad bad – but so cute. While Willow’s Drew accent was on point, but just struggled while DeJa was demented from the start. Bosco’s Gwyneth was so stoned she had no energy while Daya sadly started strong. Then it all turned to shit as only DeJa continued to get consistent laughs, along with Raven and Dove while the rest just fell flat, flatter and flattest. While Raven looked ready to jump up and slap them all.

Though at least they could tell they were bombing and becoming DeJa’s extras, which helps?

Elimination Day arrived with DeJa thrilled to know she clearly is going to win, given everyone else sucked. Jorgeous meanwhile was prepared to lip sync again, while Bosco agreed that she felt she bombed. Daya asked Jorgeous who she thought she’d be lip syncing against, with her thinking it would either be Willow or Jasmine. Willow and Angeria meanwhile were trying to process the collective of bombs, while the former tried to focus on her runway which she is her favourite given she will be celebrating mushrooms, thanks to her passion for fungus.

Dove Cameron joined Ru, Michelle and Carson on the judges panel as the queens tried for rudemption on the Holy Couture runway. DeJa was a mess, serving Joan (Jett) of Arc which made the look a little better. Jasmine was stunning serving Gemini realness with a reveal, Angeria was a Southern Belle at church, Willow was dementedly stunning as a bleeding fungus, Daya was a mess as Cruella de Vil does Madonna does Lady Gaga. in a wedding gown, literally falling to her knees on the runway. Though unlike Camden, accidentally. Jorgeous was a stunning green Pope complete with a blunt, Camden was a jumble of the Spice Girls while Bosco was the sluttiest nun in the best way possible. 

Michelle interrupted proceedings to reiterate how great the dolls have been this season, though was super confused about what happened on Snatch Game. DeJa meanwhile was praised for being the only funny person on the panel and for looking a million bucks. Jasmine was praised for the choice of Betsy DeVos, though read for not bringing anything funny despite looking stunning on the runway. Angeria recieved universal praise for the runway though was read for making an entertaining queen one note, despite having fun. Willow was praised for giving Drew, though read for being absolutely boring. Obviously they lived for the runway though. Daya was read for doing everything people would expect, while the judges loved Jorgeous’ runway though hated her bland Snatch Game. Camden’s runway was read for being basic and off theme, while her Snatch Game performance was there and that is about it. Bosco’s runway meanwhile was beloved, though they felt she got in her own way as Gwyneth.

Backstage DeJa was obviously thrilled to be edging closer and closer to a win, unless of course, Ru and Michelle opt to go without a winner for the second time after UK. While her sisters were disappointed in themselves, they were proud of her performance and for her finally taking out victory. Camden joked about more than two people lip syncing, with Willow telling her to shut up before she jinxed them all. Everyone channelled Michelle and tried to figure out what exactly went wrong with the challenge, while Jasmine flitted around in the background to get out of her outfit and prep for the lip sync.

As Jorgeous opened up about being completely exhausted, her family popped up on screen to give her a pep talk and ugh, I love them all. Particularly her smoking hot grandma! With that, she immediately started to break down, sobbing over how much she misses them while her sisters rallied around her and reminded her that she needs to love herself. While Bosco just desperately wanted to get Jorgeous’ brother’s number. Angeria tried to distract everyone and ask if they had fun and while a few of them did, Angeria admitted that while she had fun she normally doesn’t and as such, she should stop enjoying herself if she wants to make it to the end. Willow then realised that she jinxed them, given she predicted there would be a challenge everyone bombs back in the Daytona Wind.

Dove Cameron dropped by to see how the dolls were feeling, with Jasmine ready to show her how great she is at lip syncing. Before Dove encouraged everyone to embrace delusion like Jasmine, given she lives for ignoring reality herself.

Obviously DeJa took out victory before Ru gagged the rest of the dolls with the fact that they’re all in the bottom and as such, would be facing off in a lip-sync lalaparuza smackdown for survival. Backstage things were tense for everyone not called DeJa, with Bosco ashamed of them all while Jasmine was confused, and on brand, Daya was enraged and ready to take it out on Jasmine. Daya felt her performance was safe and as such, was annoyed that she has to lip sync against them when they’ve been consistently mediocre the last few weeks. Ignoring the fact that she was eliminated in week two and brought back through no merit process at all. Thankfully Jasmine did not care, given she knows she can turn a show and ugh, I need her to send Daya home.

The next day the dolls quickly split up to get in their best lip syncing attire, while DeJa was living her best life beating her mug and getting glammed up for her time in the audience. Camden meanwhile was heeding the warning from Ru, and ready to turn it out while Angeria and Willow discussed their strategy with Angeria assuring us that she will be doing the park and bark, which is as iconic as it sounds. Daya meanwhile was stirring the pot, telling Bosco that she knew she was angry about the bottom seven too however Bosco shut it down and assured her she was disappointed in herself and that’s it. But trust and believe, she will turn out a show.

While Willow worried that Bosco was too nervous to do herself justice, Daya just shared she doesn’t want to do anything against Jorgeous and Jasmine because she can not do what they do. DeJa meanwhile was living it up speculating about the structure of the battle, making her sisters more and more annoyed/nervous. Jasmine asked Daya why she says ‘no offence’ before being a bitch, with Daya admitting she is just opening up about her fears or stresses. While Jasmine questioned whether maybe she just does it so she doesn’t have to listen to other people’s opinions. Oh and Camden was a mixture of excitement and terrified, while Jorgeous was ready to dominate anyone and everyone.

It was just family on the judges panel as Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross lined up to witness the lip sync lalaparuza smackdown. After learning the rules, DeJa was sent backstage to chill out and watch the show unfold. The Pit Crew was wheeled out to pick a ball, coming up with Jasmine Kennedie who was then given the opportunity to select her opponent, hilariously going with Daya. Which in turn meant Daya was given the power to select the song, going with Respect by Aretha Franklin. While it pains me to admit it, Daya did a very good job. Both lip syncing AND standing in front of Jasmine at every opportunity so the judges couldn’t see her. Which proved a winning strategy as she was sent to join DeJa backstage while Jasmine was left to fight another round.

Willow was next to have her ball drawn, who in turn chose to face off against Bosco as she hoped she would pick a song she’d like to do, rather than wanting to eliminate her. Bosco then selected for them to lip sync to Never Too Much by Luther Vandros. Just as Willow wanted, and well, clever girl! Willow focused on the emotion of the song, while Bosco served 100% sex and while both of them slayed the game, Willow’s strategy proved a winning one as she took out victory. Given the last three would be lip syncing against each other no matter what, the Pit Crew pulled a ball to decide who would select the song with Jorgeous, obviously, selecting Radio by Beyonce. And then demolishing Camden and Angeria, saving herself and sending the duo through to round two.

Lady Camden was the first ball out of the cage for the second round, settling on Bosco who in turn chose for them to lip sync to Don’t Let Go by En Vogue as Bosco was hoping to avoid any possible stuntery from Camden. Sadly for her, Camden can still turn a show without stunts and as such, took out victory and sent Bosco through to the final round. Angeria and Jasmine then took the stage to battle to the remaining song, Love Don’t Cost A Thing by J-Lo and well, it was a SHOW. Jasmine was doing her usual fierce schtick, while Angeria was living her best life and pulled all the focus and as such, took out victory.

Bosco joined Jasmine on stage for the final lip sync of the evening where Ru gooped them with the news they’d be facing off to my dear Diana Ross’ Swept Away for survival. And damn, did the dolls fight! Despite of – or because of – it being their third lip sync of the evening, both of the dolls had an epic fire within themselves as the served camp and emotion and while Jasmine slayed THAT too, Bosco rightly took out victory and saved herself while the iconic Miss Kennedie, Alyssa Edwards Jr was finally felled.

Backstage Jasmine was disappointed to have been eliminated, sure, but was also proud of her growth throughout the season. And for showing how talented she is. And for coming into the woman she has always been. Aka Jasmine had an epic journey this season and while Daya wasn’t feeling her, I lived for how entertaining and goofy she was and as such, toasted her inevitable All Stars crown with a delicious Jasmine Kennedie!

A little bitter – just to remind her of Daya – spicy and sweet, this take on a Jasmine Cocktail (yes, I struggled to shoe-horn a name) is the perfect way to kick off your evening.

Enjoy!

Jasmine Kennedie
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
3 tbsp gin
1 tbsp select aperitivo
1 ½ tsp triple sec
2 tbsp lemon juice
a dash of sugar syrup
twist of lemon, to serve

Method
Half fill an old-fashioned glass with ice before adding the gin, aperitivo, triple sec, lemon juice and syrup.

Stir, add a twist of lemon and down. Then repeat as required/appropriate.


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Emma Thompsold Fashion

Drink, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold

In honour of my multi-hyphenate friend Brad’s A Star is Born’s success this last year, I knew that there was only one person I could entrust to kick off this year’s Oscar Gold celebration, Call Me By Your Gold – the delightful Emma Thompson.

While most people these days love Em for her work in Harry Potter or for making you sob listening to Joni Mitchell in Love Actually, I love her for being a total baller slash he only person to win a writing and acting Oscar.

Which B-Coops – who I really need to catch one day soon – is aiming to do this year.

I’ve known Em since the late ‘80s when she made her film debut in The Tall Guy opposite my then boyfriend and oft lover Jeff Goldblum. I was instantly won over by her wit and charm, vowed to make her a star and then, mere years later, she had an Oscar under he belt and was working towards her second.

To say she is one of my greatest success stories, really is an understatement.

Given how in demand she is, we don’t get to enjoy each other’s company as much as we’d like, so she jumped at the chance to hang-out and set the tone for this year’s Oscar Gold celebrations.

While we’re no experts on the technical or short film categories, we agreed that Avengers: Infinity War should snag Marvel their first win in Visual Effects given First Man has been pretty much left out of discussions at the Oscars. For Live Action Short we think Skin will snatch the crown – which Jonathan Penner was nominated for in the ‘90s – and nothing is beating Bao for Animated Short.

For her Original Screenplay, I see The Favourite bringing it home for Australia while Emma thinks Adam McKay will snag his second win for Vice. In her home category of Adapted Screenplay we agree that Bradley is a shut out and it is a three horse race between BlackkKlansman, If Beale Street Could Talk and Can You Ever Forgive Me? While I am firmly behind Spike Lee finally getting some – well deserved – competitive wins under his belt, Emma thinks Can You Ever Forgive Me? will surprise again after snatching the Guild.

At least I think that is what she predicted. My mind is fuzzy after partaking in one too many Emma Thompsold Fashion.

 

 

There is no better way to kick off a party than by downing a cheeky old fashioned. Strong and sweet, it is the perfect thing to get you just relaxed enough to get into the party season.

Enjoy!

 

 

Emma Thompsold Fashion
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
¼ cup bourbon
½ tsp sugar syrup
2 dashes bitters
1 orange twist, to garnish

Method
Fill and old fashioned glass with ice.

Top with bourbon, sugar syrup and bitters.

Stir, garnish with a twist of orange.

Down.

 

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