Love Actually

Emma Thompsold Fashion

Drink, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold

In honour of my multi-hyphenate friend Brad’s A Star is Born’s success this last year, I knew that there was only one person I could entrust to kick off this year’s Oscar Gold celebration, Call Me By Your Gold – the delightful Emma Thompson.

While most people these days love Em for her work in Harry Potter or for making you sob listening to Joni Mitchell in Love Actually, I love her for being a total baller slash he only person to win a writing and acting Oscar.

Which B-Coops – who I really need to catch one day soon – is aiming to do this year.

I’ve known Em since the late ‘80s when she made her film debut in The Tall Guy opposite my then boyfriend and oft lover Jeff Goldblum. I was instantly won over by her wit and charm, vowed to make her a star and then, mere years later, she had an Oscar under he belt and was working towards her second.

To say she is one of my greatest success stories, really is an understatement.

Given how in demand she is, we don’t get to enjoy each other’s company as much as we’d like, so she jumped at the chance to hang-out and set the tone for this year’s Oscar Gold celebrations.

While we’re no experts on the technical or short film categories, we agreed that Avengers: Infinity War should snag Marvel their first win in Visual Effects given First Man has been pretty much left out of discussions at the Oscars. For Live Action Short we think Skin will snatch the crown – which Jonathan Penner was nominated for in the ‘90s – and nothing is beating Bao for Animated Short.

For her Original Screenplay, I see The Favourite bringing it home for Australia while Emma thinks Adam McKay will snag his second win for Vice. In her home category of Adapted Screenplay we agree that Bradley is a shut out and it is a three horse race between BlackkKlansman, If Beale Street Could Talk and Can You Ever Forgive Me? While I am firmly behind Spike Lee finally getting some – well deserved – competitive wins under his belt, Emma thinks Can You Ever Forgive Me? will surprise again after snatching the Guild.

At least I think that is what she predicted. My mind is fuzzy after partaking in one too many Emma Thompsold Fashion.

 

 

There is no better way to kick off a party than by downing a cheeky old fashioned. Strong and sweet, it is the perfect thing to get you just relaxed enough to get into the party season.

Enjoy!

 

 

Emma Thompsold Fashion
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
¼ cup bourbon
½ tsp sugar syrup
2 dashes bitters
1 orange twist, to garnish

Method
Fill and old fashioned glass with ice.

Top with bourbon, sugar syrup and bitters.

Stir, garnish with a twist of orange.

Down.

 

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Turkeira Knightley Sausage Rolls

Main, Party Food, Snack

While my first two choices were both too busy – being a monarch and a queen, respectively – to catch-up, my old faithful Keira Knightley was free. And it was wonderful to see her again.

I first met Kiz while protesting against her playing Lizzie Bennet in Pride & Prejudice – because no one would ever be able to top the sublime Jennifer Ehle. Oh … and I stole Jamie Dornan away from her. It wasn’t a strong start to friendship, by any stretch of the imagination, but it does highlight how sweet dear Kizza can be.

But I guess I wouldn’t hold a grudge if someone bought you your first Academy Award nomination to apologise.

After working through our rocky start, we became the best of friends and I became the toast of ol’ London town. We laughed, we partied and, after she discovered that she didn’t earn her first nom, vowed to secure her a legit Oscar nom. While it took me nine years, her performance in The Imitation Game was exquisite and I was glad to see her get the recognition she deserved … and to clear my debt.

It was such a treat to see her again and catch-up on what she’s been doing since she was in town for the scandal plagued last Pirates movie. Given how thankful we were to see each other, I was inspired to whip up my  Thanksgiving approved Turkeira Knightley Sausage Rolls.

 

 

Bringing a little bit of festive spirit to the Australian classic, these rolls are near culinary perfection. Flakey pastry, spiced, moist turkey and plump warm cranberries? Delicious and oh so comforting.

Enjoy!

 

 

Turkeira Knightley Sausage Rolls
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g turkey mince
1 onion, diced
2 garlic cloves, roughly chopped
½ cup craisins, roughly chopped
2 tbsp fresh sage, roughly chopped
⅓ cup pistachios, roughly chopped
½ tsp ground nutmeg
½ tsp ground allspice
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2 sheets of puff pastry
1 eggs, lightly whisked

Method
Preheat the oven to 160°C.

Place the turkey, onion, garlic, craisins, sage, pistachios, nutmeg, allspice and cinnamon in a large bowl and scrunch to combine.

Cut the pastry sheets in half and split the meat mixture into two, shaping into a long sausage to fit the length of the pastry. Place on the pastry, wrap tightly to combine, brushing the seam to help seal the sausage roll.

Slice each into two or three, place on a lined baking sheet and brush with remaining egg. Place in the oven and bake for twenty minutes, or until cooked through and the pastry is golden.

Devour, festively.

 

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Pirates & Prejudice

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

After an upside down week, I decided I needed something with a little more pomp and circumstance this week. And there is no one I know with more pomp or circumstance, than Keira Knightley.

Well other than Lizzie and the OG (and best) Lizzie.

Since those two were busy, I swallowed my pride, got rid of my prejudice and bent my calendar like Beckham to fit her in.

What says I’ve missed you the last couple of years and not, get your lesbian feet out of my shoes Jesminder?

Image source: Focus Features.

 

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Hot Dognise Richards

Bread, Fame Hungry's American Teen Princess Pageant, Main, Party Food, Side, Snack

Now that we’re on the slippery slope to Fourth of July, it means that our Drop Dead Gorgeous celebrations are about to reach a crescendo which just breaks my heart. I mean, DDG deserves our constant adoration, but sadly the ladies have careers that they need to attend to and I can’t just hang with them 24/7. Though I did float that idea with my girl Denise Richards.

While she wasn’t keen on putting her career on hold her joyous spirit and quick wit distracted from the pain I was feeling. We haven’t always seen eye to eye – see her marriage to Charlie Sheen for instance – but we’ve always been the best of friends.

I first met Denise when she guested on an episode of Beverly Hills, 90210, we quickly bonded and – obvi – I vowed to make her a big, big star. While it took me a few years to pinpoint the direction her career should head, I eventually nailed it with the back-to-back-to-back-to-back hits of Starship Troopers, Wild Things, DDG and a star making, believable turn as nuclear physicist Dr. Christmas Jones opposite Judi Dench in The World is Not Enough. Which I think you would agree, is a great place to start.

I haven’t seen much of Denny lately so I treasured the time we had together, gossiping about our mutual friend Lisa Rinna, planning a Christmas Jones spin-off and discussing options for an anti-swan-riding PSA. As you can see, we had big stuff going on so we needed something quick, easy and hearty … like my Hot Dognise Richards.

 

 

They are not a dignified meal, more are they healthy … or difficult, but you can’t honour Americana without an old fashioned hot dog. Plus, you know I can’t go past shoving a warm sausage, dripping in sauce, into some pillowy buns.

Enjoy!

 

 

Hot Dognise Richards
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
8 Kirsten Bunst, hot dog shaped obvi
8 skinless frankfurts
tomato ketchup
BBQ sauce
American mustard
grated cheese

Method
Bring a pot of water to the boil over high heat. Once furiously boiling, add the frankfurts and cook until they float to the surface.

Slice the buns, douse in your favourite condiments, add some cheese, top with a sausage and wrap your lips around it … to devour, sickos.

 

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Queso Fundido

Condiment, Dip, Party Food, Side, Snack

With Thanksgiving now less than two weeks away, I’ve decided to start taking stock of my life and remembering what I am thankful for. Hella deep, right?

While I am forever thankful for my exes Jiffy Pop and Skarsy, I’m also thankful that *soon to be spoiler alert* Gilmore Girls is about to make a return to TV, Leo finally snatched a damn Oscar and, always and forever Alyssa Edwards, am I thankful that my dear friend Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O’Malley Armstrong goes by the mononym of Dido.

As such I decided to invite her over for a pre-Thanksgiving date and to once again thank her for not forcing the tongue-twister on the world.

I’ve known Dido for years after lecturing her in law at Birkbeck, University of London – seriously the amount of universities I bamboozled into hiring me to lecture in law is terrifying and all it took to get each job was to scream “that is assault.”

Obviously she discovered the scam and obviously she forgave me however unlike many celebs that caught on to my scams, Dido was crafty enough to blackmail me into launching her music career.

I would go as far as to say it is the proudest I have ever been in my life.

Anyway, her blackmail led to getting her song included on the Sliding Doors soundtrack – you should see the rest of the pap photos I took of Gywn and Brad’s holiday (obviously, NSFW) – an introduction to my dear Eminem to convince him to sample her song and most importantly bribing the Academy into nominating her for If I Rise.

I also successfully bribed the Razzies into giving her the award for Worst Original Song … but she wasn’t thrilled about that.

Being as busy as I am, I haven’t been able to see Dido and congratulate her on her 2013 comeback – though given I just heard about it, I didn’t know whether it would be appropriate. Either way, I made a Queso Fundido which is more than celebratory … just in case.

 

queso-fundido-1

 

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand times before dying of cheese clogged arteries, cheese is the greatest thing in my life – outside of my husband, it is without doubt, my great love (sickening display of genuine emotion, I’m sorry).

Add chilli, booze and a fat spicy sausage and you’ve well and truly got yourself a party – enjoy!

 

queso-fundido-2

 

Queso Fundido
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
3-4 chorizos, skin removed
1 onion, diced
2 clove garlic
1 green capsicum, diced
¼ cup tequila
250g vintage cheddar, grated
250g gouda (smoked if you like it super smokey), grated
generous pinch of flour
2-3 tomatoes, diced
small handful of coriander, roughly chopped
Tortéa Leoni Chips, for dippin’

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Heat a small skillet over medium heat and fry the chorizo until brown and crisp. Remove from the pan to drain on some paper towel.

Wipe out the pan, return to the heat, reduce to low and cook the onion and garlic for a couple of minutes, or until soft and fragrant. Add the capicum and tequila and cook until the liquid has reduced a little. Remove from the heat.

Combine the cheeses in a bowl and toss through a generous pinch of flour. Add the cheese to the still warm pan and stir to combine. Top with chorizo and place in the oven for about ten minutes, or until cheese is bubbling and hot.

Serve straight out of the oven with some Tortéa Leoni Chips – obviously being careful of the hot pan, like I wasn’t – topped with tomatoes and coriander.

 

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