Previously on All Stars Snatch Game rolled around with a spin, seeing the queens split into two to vie for the love of Gus Kenworthy and Keiynan Lonsdale – and TBH, who doesn’t want to be split in two by those two. While Manila and Trinity clearly shined, Valentina struggled and Latrice got distracted by the too much unprofessionalism of Gia, who once again choked on the challenge and landed in the bottom next to Valentina. Trinity was thrilled to finally get rid of Gia and her mind games, however Manila admitted that getting rid of a threat in Valentina may be the smartest move going forward. Not so smart was the fact she told both Trinity and Valentina before sending Gia home, painting a big ol’ target on her back.
Back in the Werk Room with Monique thrilled to be free of Gia and hot damn, how did I just realise there was a cow on her hat? Manila praised Gia for who she is and how well she performs, though admitted that her pot-stirring was too much to handle. As the girls continued to kiki Manila congratulated Trinity on truly dominating Snatch Game, though was thrilled that on Wikipedia she is listed as the winner and she has the $10k to back it up. Trinity shared that she too would have sent home Gia, as she planned to play a fair game and Valentina was stronger than Gia. With no one around to stir the pot, Valentina and Gia told the other queens that Manila had floated the idea of getting rid of Val … though obviously sold it as being thankful that Manila decided to play fair.
The next day the queens arrived to learn that this week’s challenge would send them all the way to Jersey for Michelle to dish out a little bit of justice in a Judge Judy and RHONJ hybrid. The queens split into teams, with Latrice, Monét and Monique joining to argue the case ‘how ‘bout them cakes,’ Naomi and Manila snagged ‘you made me look like a bitch, bitch,’ while Valentina and Trinity paired up for what will no doubt be the case of the century, ‘I was snookered by Snooki.’
Monét was feeling hella confident, given her passion for Judge Judy while Monique was concerned about how to balance three performances in the challenge. Monique was arguing that her wedding was ruined by Latrice the baker and her daughter played by Monét. And Latrice was struggling to jump in during rehearsal, so it looks like it will be a disaster. Meanwhile Naomi was so excited to be working with Manila as she is a massive, and they really seemed to be vibing. Trinity on the other hand was super concerned about Valentina and her attempted accents, which ranged from the deep south to god knows where. Though she can do voices, so relax guys!
First up were Manila and Naomi, with Manila sueing Naomi for making her look like a bitch at her high school reunion. Literally, since Naomi ran a dog grooming business and Manila got confused. Given Naomi is covered in the same shade of tan that Donald Trump wears and pulled out a Teresa Giudice joke and Manila literally barked her way through getting kicked out of the room, I obviously approve of this pairing. Monique, Latrice and Monét were up next, with Monique owning from the start, while Latrice served only looks and then bombed when she started talking. Poor Monét didn’t arrive until half-way through and while she pulled out some good jokes, she then started to get lost and it fell flat. They did finish with an epic Jerry Springer style bitch-fight though followed by a make-out, and I love that. Trinity opened her improv by forgetting her name, though slowly improved throughout. Particularly once Valentina rolled in late looking a hot mess and gave Trinity a killer character to play off.
Elimination day rolled around and Naomi threw some glorious shade at Asia while Monét was feeling her oats and looked forward to lip syncing for some cash. Manila too was feeling confident, though her confidence wasn’t misplaced. Unlike poor Latrice’s. Adding to the feelings of confidence, Trinity and Valentina congratulated each other on their killer performances. Maybe starting to question her performance, Latrice approached Trinity to call her out for forgetting her name at the start. Not taking it, Trinity called her out for having zero jokes with Valentina jumping in to agree that she didn’t perform very well. They both assured her that no one would send her home though – Valentina admitting she would rather send Trinity home – so to relax and focus on her runway.
Speaking of runway, the queens were padded for the gods with a swerves and curves runway with Manila slaying and serving pink old-lady quilt, Naomi was gorgeous as a failed housewife, Trinity served wave pool in the water-park realness, Valentina did a half-baked, half-baked drag look, Monique was over the top cow, Latrice shimmered down the runway and Monét owned channelling Kim K’s Paper shoot.
The judges loved everything Manila did from the challenge to the runway. Naomi was praised for her burnt-bake housewife look and serving full Jersey girl realness, though they wish she gave them more. They loved Trinity’s outfit, though they felt she held back during the challenge which she admitted she did to avoid overshadowing Valentina. The judges weren’t sold on Valentina’s runway, though they enjoyed her performance in the challenge and the fact she let go. Monique’s cow look received universal praise, as did her over the top performance in court. The judges thought Latrice looked beautiful on the runway, while felt Latrice didn’t give enough in the challenge. Everyone loved Monét’s look on the runway, though felt she didn’t have enough character in the challenge. With that Monique and Manila took out victory while Latrice and Monét found themselves in the bottom two.
Backstage Monique was thrilled to win, though upset that she has to send one of her teammates home. Poor Latrila both started to cry, with Latrice heartbroken that it could all be coming to an end. Trinity was disappointed that while Latrice has a good career, she felt that that shouldn’t save her when she hasn’t been performing well. Monét was scared gien how universally beloved Latrice is and doesn’t want to face off against her. Scared of losing focus, Valentina channelled Milk and complained about getting read despite being safe, before Monique told her to get over it and shut the hell up.
Monique and Monét got together, with Monique admitting that Latrice being in the bottom with her makes the decision difficult. Latrila on the other hand held each other and continued to cry, with Manila vowing to destroy the lip sync to save her friend. Trinity continued to get frustrated by Manila, annoyed by the fact she will keep Latrice no matter how well Monét performed. Monét pulled Manila aside to try and convince her that she needs to stay, though Manila essentially admitted that there is no way she isn’t saving her friend. Meanwhile over with Monique and Latrice, Monique spoke about the OG’s importance to the community and Latrice assured her that she won’t be stumbling again if she keeps her. And then reminded her that she wouldn’t be anywhere else, and that includes wedding planning. Which is nek level guilt.
Monique and Manila looked ready to destroy my frenemy Elton’s The Bitch is Back as performed by Tina Turner – who I really need to see soon – with Elt reminding them not to fuck it up via video. Both queens slayed the lip sync, however Monique gave it a messiness that totally worked for Tina and as such, snatched victory. And kept her wig on to boot! Poor Manila immediately started to cry, concerned about Latrice’s welfare. Which turned out being prophetic, as Monique sent the iconic Latrice out of the game.
While Latrice wasn’t thrilled to find herself out of the competition, she was thrilled to see her dear friend backstage to provide her with some comfort. I did admit that I agreed that being a legend shouldn’t guarantee you continue in the competition, however I followed it up by reminder her that there is likely to be a comeback challenge and that is where she can show them why a legend deserves to be there. We were extremely drunk on Latrikir Royale though, so hopefully she heeds my advice in the morning.
A kir royale is one of the easiest cocktails you can throw together, but it proves that sometimes the easiest things are also the best. Which is what I had on my dating profiles in my youth. I mean, sparkling topped up with sweet, sweet liqueur? Swoon.
¼ cup creme de cassis
⅔-1 cup sparkling white wine, chilled
Split the liqueur even amongst the two sparkling glasses.
Top with sparkling.
Down. Lather, rinse and repeat.