Author: anneliehailes

Cathy, we’re coming!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

As you no doubt would have expected, Ben and I were first on the ‘to call’ list of Cathy Mids, also occasionally referred to as Her Highness, the Duchess of Cambridge, when her adorable new sprog finally appeared.

Ben and Cath go way back to their former St Andrew’s student modelling days – Ben was originally first choice to wear that dress but unfortunately forgot to wear underwear that particular day (accidentally on purpose).

We have just landed in London and will be whipping up a treat worthy of a princess. What can we make that says ‘welcome to a life of privilege?’

Picture source: hellomagazine.com

Tina Souffle

Dessert, Easter Meggstravaganza

Step five is always a blessing and a curse. As Peter Parker famously said, with being a hero comes great power and great responsibility – so trying to pin down Teenz is always a tad difficult.

After we failed to befriend Amy Poehler through Adam Scott, we travelled back in time to the Delaware County Summer Showtime to befriend Tina in her (our?) younger years. It worked and thankfully, history was rewritten with the four of us being best friends (she totally got us in with Ames). Her love for us knows no bounds and she went on to write 30 Rock with Tracey Jordan and Jenna Maroney being based on us. We were also instrumental in the writing of Mean Girls, which was actually a thinly veiled attack at our less successful co-stars at the County Summer Showtime.

Tina was always keen as mustard to help us out with our blossoming careers. She got us auditions with Saturday Night Live, however Ben was overly keen to sleep his way in (even when this was explicitly not necessary). He peddled one junk-shot too many unfortunately and Lorne Michaels banished both of us from the studio, swearing our names would never be uttered on set again and rendering us the unofficial voldemorts of NBC.

Despite trashing the brilliant opportunities Tina generously found us, she still considers us two of her oldest friends. She is always willing to help out so jumped at the opportunity to help another person in dire straits – Meg Ryan and her pitiful, failing career.

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As Tina is the gold standard in entertainment, we needed the gold standard of desserts. Chocolatey and rich yet light and delicious like the lady herself, the Tina Souffle ticks all the boxes.

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Tina Souffle
Serves: 6

Ingredients
6 eggs, separated
180g dark chocolate
50ml cream
50g caster sugar
Butter and caster sugar, for ramekins

Method
Heat oven to 200C. Butter and sugar the ramekins.

Over a low heat, melt the chocolate and cream together and allow to cool slightly before whisking in six egg yolks.

Using a stand mixer, beat egg whites until stiff peaks form and slowly add caster sugar until a thick meringue forms.

Impossible Quiche Richards

Easter Meggstravaganza, Main

In amongst all the frivolity and grandeur that marking the torturous death of a religious figure brings upon us, Ben and I decided that for the good of humanity, and in line with our peyote induced visions, we would honour someone who, by divine intervention or other means, miraculously keeps on kicking.

Yes, Keith Richards is the perfect candidate for step four of our Meggstravaganza ritual.

A pal of ours since our days in the boys soprano trio (aka a barbershop quartet minus one) at Dartford Tech, Keith Richards was undeniably the talentless hack of the group. Ben and I had no choice but to force him out of the prestigious trio and lo and behold he landed directly in the arms of Mick Jagger.

Our relationship with Keith was rocky in the years that passed from the glory quartet-minus-one days. We comforted him after his survivor-esque fall from a coconut tree. We connected over the death of his father, and encouraged him to find comfort in the snorting of his ashes. Yet, he never truly forgave us for ruining the happiest days of his life at Dartford.

How is he still alive? In order to find out the secret to his longevity and give him the opportunity to piggyback off our resurgent fame and Meg’s soon-to-occur-comeback, we decided to invite Keith over for a hearty and nourishing, eggy dinner.

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Our choice of meal was, like its namesake, a miracle of modern science – the Impossible Quiche Richards.

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Impossible Quiche Richards
Serves: 6

Ingredients

6 eggs
300ml cream
½ cup self raising flour
¼ cup finely chopped chives
400g butternut pumpkin, diced into 1cm cubes
125g smoked ham, roughly chopped
½ cup green peas
1 ½  cups grated cheddar, divided

Method

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celsius. Line a large baking tray with greased baking paper and roast diced pumpkin for 20 minutes or until tender and golden.

Whisk together eggs, cream, flour and one cup cheese and season to taste. In the bottom of a large quiche dish, scatter half the pumpkin, ham and peas. Pour over half of egg mixture and repeat with remaining dry ingredients and remaining egg mixture. Top with cheese.

Bake for 35-40 minutes until set and golden.

Jeff Rib Probst and Elisabeth Hasselbeck Potatoes

12 Days of Survivor Christmas, Main, Side

It’s been an exhausting 10 days, with many of our closest survivor pals dropping by for a Christmas catch-up. With every cookie, pie and fancy dessert, there was always one thing in the back of our minds – Probst.

Probst. Came. Today, dear reader, was finally the day.

As you would probably be aware, our relationship with Jeff Dreamy-McDreamy-Free-Pass-Eternal-Object-Of-Our-Affection Probst has been tumultuous, so he insisted on bringing a friend to dinner (likely to deter us from making him our prisoner/Misery-esque lover). Luckily, his guest of choice was the delightful Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the Survivor: The Australian Outback contestant that has the dubious honor of being the first contestant to be worldwide spank bank material/the second America’s Sweetheart (we still love you too Col).

Lis has been keen to catch up ever since she hit it off with Ben on the set of The View. After Jazz in Your Face’s resounding success on the Ellen Show, Ben was looking for further opportunities for the troupe while Annelie continued with plans to thwart future Elijah Wood movies and subsequently save mankind from further suffering.

Long story short, Ben provided a short, naked dance intermission during a heated conversation between Rosie O’Donnell and Lis. Ben’s interpretative and confronting (literally) interlude got Lis’s attention and lifelong friendship and scared Rosie from ever returning…for a while (the whole Iraq issue was a farce).

How else to make the love of our lives and his equally amazing date feel welcome?

Indeed, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. However, the way to a man becoming your eternal (likely unwilling) love slave is through meat sweats and a food coma so terrible they lose the will to fight back. So, big meaty roast it was!

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The Jeff Rib Probst pulls out all the stops and is destined for special occasions only. Accompanied with crunchy, fluffy Lis Hasselbeck potatoes, this is a meal certain to impress.

Make sure you have plenty of cold ones on hand to wash down this deliciously meaty edible utopia!

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Jeff Rib Probst and Lis Hasselbeck Potatoes
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2kg approx. beef prime rib roast (allow one rib per two people)
8 tablespoons olive oil, divided
3 cloves garlic, finely sliced
12 medium size desiree potatoes
1 teaspoon caraway seeds
Salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat oven to 220 degrees. Using a small paring knife, make small slits in the top of the prime rib (ribs facing down) and insert slices of garlic. Rub with four tablespoons of olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast for 20 minutes in a cast iron roasting tray.
Meanwhile, wash and peel the potatoes. Using a sharp knife, halve potatoes and then cut fine slits, leaving 1cm at bottom of potato half to ensure potato stays together.
Once beef has cooked for 20 minutes, add potatoes to roasting tray and drizzle with extra 4 tablespoons olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast meat and potatoes for another hour for rare beef, or until cooked to your liking. Allow meat to stand for at least 20 minutes, while potatoes finish cooking through.
To serve, sprinkle potatoes with caraway seeds and arrange around the roast on a large platter. Serve with cherry gravy or other delicious seasonal sauces!

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Happy Christmas from the Fame Hungry team and all our celebrity besties!

Parvlova Shallow

12 Days of Survivor Christmas, Dessert

It’s always a relief when our escapades don’t wind up with a period of incarceration/sectioning.

After a particularly unfortunate incident involving Bob Harper, several pints of Ben and Jerry’s and hundreds of cable-ties, Ben and I were ordered to deal with our court-determined ‘issues’ through a yoga retreat. Through serendipity we landed in the care of Survivor royalty and all-round legend, Parvati Shallow. Parvati allowed us to express ourselves through a combination of relaxing yoga and scrappy beat-downs (she is also a boxer).

As our kindred spirit, Parvs visits each year for an early Christmas ‘do, where we debrief the most recent season of survivor and inevitably reach consensus that nothing will ever beat her outstanding gameplay in Survivor: Micronesia.

This year we decided to greet Parvati with a distinctly Australian take on Christmas dessert – the Parvlova Shallow.

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Just like Parvati herself, the Parvlova shallow is sweet and enticing with it’s fresh summer berries and pillowy meringue. Also somewhat like Parvati, shortly after consumption you will find yourself rolling around with an intense, cream-induced stomach ache, wondering – how can something so sweet and delightful be such a source of buns-kicking badness?

Parvati, this is our tribute to you.

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Parvlova Shallow
Serves 8

Ingredients
6 egg whites
1 1/2 cups caster sugar
2 tablespoons cornflour
1 teaspoon vinegar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
500mL thickened cream
2 cups mixed berries

Method
Preheat oven to 120 degrees celsius.
In a stand mixer, beat egg whites until soft peaks form. Gradually add sugar, one tablespoon at a time, until meringue is thick and glossy. Mix in sifted cornflour, vanilla and vinegar.
Using the base of a springform pan, trace around pan onto a sheet of non-stick baking paper. Place baking paper, circle side down, on a large baking tray. Spoon meringue mixture within the lines of the baking paper circle, smoothing to make a large disk approximately 10cm high.
Bake for 2 hours, or until set. Leave to cool in oven with door ajar.
To serve: Whip cream until soft peaks form. Cover top of pavlova with cream and berries. Serve immediately.

Rocky Reid Road

12 Days of Survivor Christmas, Dessert

In a season that bought us Dreams, Yau-Man and the delightful Earl you may ask yourselves, why did Ben and I fall so hard for Survivor Fiji contestant Rocky Reid and his serious lack of charm?

Naturally, we have history.

Ben and Rocky were fierce competitors in the 1994 National Sylvester Stallone doppelganger competition in which I was Ben’s micromanaging, cruel and generally narcissistic coach/momager. While Rocky was crowned the winner, Ben went on to body-double for Sly for hit films including Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot and the glorious Rhinestone (we can time travel, remember). Rocky couldn’t handle Ben’s success on the big screen and so naturally the two wound up in a relationship-destroying gutter brawl.

Despite the relationship breakdown, it was our love of (and regular participation in) scrag-fighting that brought the three of us back together. Rocky’s constant clashes with fellow Survivor contestant and expert witness locator Anthony Robinson endeared us to him yet again.

Given that Rocky hasn’t done anything particularly spectacular since his appearance on survivor, he had plenty of time to drop by to catch up on lost time. What else do you serve someone Rocky by name, rocky by relationship nature? Rocky Reid Road was the only possible way forward.

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Our rocky road flies in the face of tradition – white chocolate, pistachios and dried cranberry in place of the traditional peanut and cherry combination. While unconventional, it is a truly delicious mix which is also rather festive thanks to the delightful flecks of green and red.

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Rocky Reid Road
Serves: 24 small pieces

Ingredients
250g white chocolate
100g mini marshmallows
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup shelled pistachios, chopped roughly
Method
Line and grease a brownie tray.
Gently melt the white chocolate in a double boiler until just melted.
In a medium bowl, mix all dry ingredients together. Pour over melted chocolate and stir until just combined.
Spread mixture into brownie tray and refrigerate until set (2-3 hours). Cut into squares and dig in.

Phillip Sheppard’s Pie

12 Days of Survivor Christmas, Main

In the spirit of giving and in a desperate attempt to use leftover pumpkin from Thanksgiving, Ben and I decided to catch up with our ex Writing And Looking-into-things-covertly R Us (WALRUS) colleague and only known frenemy with a stomach of steel, Phillip Sheppard.

Now Sheps (yes, we are that close) and Ben worked on some pretty significant WALRUS operations in their day but ultimately were brought together through a common commitment to ending up in the bed of the Great and Holy Probst. This led to Sheps’ successful inclusion in the cast of Survivor: Redemption Island (if you’re curious why we weren’t cast, read more here).

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While Phillip won over the hearts and minds of many (?), sadly he failed to go where only one Survivor contestant has gone before (curse you Julie Berry)

Luckily for him, we were on hand to soothe his heartbreak trample all over his broken heart while scrambling to Jeff’s side.

Regardless, Sheps was keen for a catch-up and we decided that, in the spirit of Christmas, it was time.

This pie is a revamped take on a classic, warming winter dish. Mashed pumpkin and sweet potato provide a sweet and light alternative to traditional white mash. Inside the pie awaits a rich, delicious beefy serenity full of tomatoey, peppery goodness sure to win over even the most steadfast of frenemies.

So in the spirit of Christmas AND Sheps – whip up a pie, bust out those faded red budgie smugglers/manties and have yourselves a cracking festive season in the land down under.

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Phillip Sheppard’s Pie
Serves: 6-8

Ingredients
1kg lean minced beef
1 brown onion, finely chopped
2-3 cloves garlic, crushed
2 red chillies, finely chopped (seeds out if you don’t want too much kick)
3 carrots, diced
1/2 bunch celery, chopped
1 cup red wine
500mL beef stock
4 tablespoons tomato paste
2 tablespoons brown sugar
Handful fresh bay leaves
1-2 tablespoons rice bran oil
Cracked pepper, to taste

Pumpkin and Sweet Potato Mash
600g pumpkin, peeled and cubed
600g sweet potato, peeled and cubed
50g butter
1/3 cup grated parmesan cheese

Method
In a large ovenproof pan, heat 1-2 tbs rice bran oil and cook the onion, celery and carrot until beginning to soften. Add minced beef and cook until browned. Mix through garlic, chilli and bay leaves.

Add red wine and cook until wine has reduced by approximately half. Stir in tomato paste, brown sugar and beef stock. Simmer, stirring occasionally on low heat until the liquid is reduced and thickened, approximately 1 hour. Add pepper to taste.

Meanwhile, place chopped pumpkin and sweet potato in a large saucepan. Cover with water and bring to the boil. Boil until tender – approximately 8-10 minutes. Drain thoroughly and mash with butter and parmesan until smooth and creamy.

Assemble the pie by arranging the mash over the mince mixture and scallop the top lightly with the back of a spoon.

Bake in 180 degree oven for 30 minutes or until set and golden.

 

 

 

Laura Amaretti Cookies

12 Days of Survivor Christmas

Ok, I have a confession to make. Ben and I only reconnected with Laura Morett to try and draw Ciera Eastin into our inner circle. Unfortunately Ciera was too busy trying to distance herself  from Blood vs Water 2’s seemingly villainous heathen Baylor Wilson, to whom she had been  compared.

While we would have been great PR for you Ciera, we understand. And Baylor – call us. We’re here for you.

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Despite this cunning plot, Laura and I go way back. She was recruited to whip Ben and I back into shape after our failed attempt to join the cast of the Biggest Loser (*almost* making it onto a show for which you prepared by eating a minimum of five parmigianas per day is devastating, trust me).

We whiled away the day chatting about Sarah Palin, Shambo and other topics of significant mutual interest which enjoying a delicious amaretti biscuit or two. Laura was stern with the upper limit of two cookies per person, which was harsh but necessary – with Jill gone again  and Bob banished to crappy loser canyon, what incentive is there to power-eat our way back into Biggest Loser contention?

Despite Laura’s portion control, these biscuits are extremely easy to eat – particularly when warm. The dense, chewy almond filling heartily flips the bird to it’s somewhat posher cousin, the macaron. Plus, they are a breeze to whip up!

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Laura Amaretti Cookies
Makes 20 cookies

Ingredients
180g almond meal
50g plain flour, sifted
3/4 cup caster sugar
2 egg whites
1 vanilla bean, seeds scraped
20 almonds

Directions
Preheat oven to 170 degrees celcius. In large bowl, mix together all ingredients except whole almonds gently until a uniform dough comes together.

Line a large baking tray with non-stick paper. Roll tablespoons of mixture into balls and space evenly on the tray. Press down gently on each dough ball with an almond.

Bake 15-20 minutes, or until golden and set.