Dark Chocolate

Willa Hazelnut & Chocolate Cake

12 Days of Chrismukkah, Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Good news – we finally have a cast member that doesn’t link into my torrid love life. I mean sure, I did sleep with Willa Holland’s current co-star Stephen Amell years ago … but I didn’t meet her through him, so technically I’m home free.

You see I met Willa through my dear friend Lisa Kudrow – who I am so overdue to see that it scares me – when Willa guested on an episode of the majestic and underrated series The Comeback.

It would shock nobody to know that my attitude inspired her characterisation of Valerie Cherish.

I was taken by her talent and she was the only person I could think of to replace my cousin-in-law Shailene when they wanted to beef up the role of Caitlin. I also put her forward for the role of Thea Queen on Arrow … not that I’m saying she should be grateful to me for her career.

But she probably should be … a little, at least.

As she has been super – get it? – busy with her role in the Arrow-verse shows, I haven’t been able to spend much meaningful time with Wills in the last few years but thankfully our friendship is so beautiful that our bond never changes.

Plus, if it did, I’d just withhold my Willa Hazelnut & Chocolate Cake until she loves me again … because that is what you do with your family during the holiday!

 

img_7342willa-hazelnut-chocolate-cake-1

 

Combining the velvety sweet charm of one Caitlin Cooper and the brooding darkness and depth of Thea Queen, this cake is the perfect hybrid of my dear friend’s roles.

Enjoy!

 

willa-hazelnut-chocolate-cake-2

 

Willa Hazelnut & Chocolate Cake
Serves: 10-12.

Ingredients
200g hazelnuts, peeled and roasted
250g good dark chocolate, chopped
185g unsalted butter, cubed
40g cocoa powder, sifted
30ml strong, freshly brewed coffee
30ml amaretto
6 eggs, at room temperature
275g caster sugar
ice cream, cream or fresh berries, to serve
Nutella, to drizzle on top

Method
Preheat oven to 160ºC and grease/line a springform tin.

Chuck the hazelnuts in a food processor and blitz until it it is finely ground and just starting to turn to a paste. Set aside.

Combine the chocolate, butter and cocoa in a saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly until just melted. Remove from the heat and whisk in the coffee and amaretto. Set aside.

Meanwhile, beat the eggs and sugar in a stand mixer until just combined. Fold through the chocolate, followed by the hazelnuts and pour into the prepared tin and bake for 45 minutes, or until just set. Remove from the oven and cool completely.

Once cooled, serve with a dollop of ice cream and drizzled with nutella … because we can’t get enough hazelnut!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Sundae Burquest

Dessert, Snack, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on the first half of the double tribal episode of Survivor – that doesn’t have a nice ring to it, does it – Will continued to try and play the middle but was sadly mowed down by Adam and his new alliance.

Back at camp Jay lamented the loss of yet another ally but reaffirmed the fact that he is a scrappy underdog and would persevere. He and Adam then connected to discuss their extremely toxic relationship and working together … while Adam vowed to take him out ASAP.

Once again, Jiffy didn’t want my mind drifting to Ken so appeared for the next immunity challenge – which looks as fun as Ken’s glorious torso – where they had to solve a puzzle while their balls were in play on an island pinball contraption.

Let’s be honest, all I heard was ball play and my mind wandered to Ken … who took out immunity with the help of Adam who wanted to guarantee neither David or Jay would get it.

How pretty did Kengel look while Jeff gave him the immunity necklace?

The tribe arrived back at camp Ken and David then went off for firewood while Jay sulked that Ken only won immunity thanks to Adam’s help, forcing Adam to admit that he wanted to block David – and not both David and Jay – winning immunity.

With David out of earshot Jay tried to rally the rest of the tribe to boot David, while David and Ken plotted to get rid of Jay. Hannah then arrived to assist with this highly scientific number crunching and brought up the idea of getting rid of non-entity Sunday, who I had honestly forgot was still here this episode.

#JusticeForPurpleSunday.

Adam then joined Ken and Hannah to discuss splitting the votes between Jay and David, to flush Jay’s idol and getting rid of a threat. While the tribe scrambled around the beach trying to decide on a plan, Adam approached Jay to let him know that he had to play his idol tonight. He then confided in Jay about his mother and they both broke down on the hammock in tears and it was heartbreaking.

I’m not sure how much else happened before tribal, on account of tears, but Hannah gave one last push to Adam to get rid of non-threat Sunday.

At tribal David said they were at the point where you have to rely on your friends in the game, while Jay lamented that all of his were now gone. Thankfully Jay is smarter than he is given credit for and pointed out that being a free agent that is a challenge threat is better than keeping a challenge threat that has allies … which only really works when Ken doesn’t have immunity.

Jeff posed the question of whether the tribe was planning on keeping final tribal goats – aka Sunday, I assume – or whether they were targeting them … which sadly ended up being a leading question as she found her way out of the game following Jay’s redundant idol play, dang it.

Sadly justice for Sunday will have to wait.

I first met Sunday – and I feel extremely awful (I know, I have feelings?!) about it – while running a religious scam. I was trying to use people’s beliefs for money and met Sunday at a religious retreat where I was recruiting. Thankfully Sunday’s beautiful soul – not that you’d know given her lack of visibility on the show – stopped me from being so hate filled and manipulative and showed me how to respect people’s beliefs rather than use them for my financial gain.

Obviously her kind, motivational nature earnt her a delicious Sundae Burquest after becoming the fourteenth boot.

 

sundae-burquest-1

 

Comforting, fulfilling and oh-so-sweet, this Sundae is exactly like its namesake … not that you’d know, given her edit. Enjoy!

 

sundae-burquest-2

 

Sundae Burquest
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ cup golden syrup
⅓ cup muscovado sugar
¼ cup cocoa powder
¼ tsp sea salt
2 tbsp unsalted butter
⅔ cup double cream
175g dark chocolate, chopped
1 tsp vanilla extract
strawberry ice cream (maybe check back in a week), for eatin’
slivered almonds, to serve
maraschino cherries, to serve

Method
Whisk the golden syrup, sugar, cocoa, sea salt, double cream and butter in a large saucepan over low heat until it is all melted and combined.

Remove from heat and whisk through the chocolate  and vanilla until combined. Remove from heat and get down, to business … like I dream Kengel will say to me. One day. Oh, did I mention we just made chocolate sauce? We did

Generously scoop out some ice cream in a bowl. Top with some of the aforementioned chocolate sauce. Then some almonds. Then top with some maraschino cherries.

Then devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Jack McGraveyard

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Halloween, Side, Snack, Sweets, Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

As you would have picked up by now, I have long been a support and inspiration to Teens over the years. None more so than when creating / fleshing out the life and times of one Kenneth Parcell aka my dear Jack McBrayer’s opus.

I first met Jack in the late 90s while he was attending the University of Evansville where I was lecturing in Theatre Administration. Shockingly, this was the one time I was actually qualified to teach what I was hired to do.

Jack always had an overabundance of talent, so I took him under my wing and mentored him to greatness. More importantly, since this is the one job I haven’t been run out of due to a scandalo, we have always remained close. After he graduated, I quickly convinced him to take up improv, got him a job at Second City and the rest, as they say, is history.

Or HERstory.

When Teens was developing 30 Rock, she was having trouble coming up with the Kenneth character so I regaled her with tales of my dear Jack and she developed the role with him in mind.

Obviously the whole Kenneth as an immortal being thing was inspired by my own apparent immortality – she thinks my time-travel is actually a sign of my own immortality – and the character of Hazel was based on my own horrid ways.

Jack has been busy lately, what with also starring in a modern Disney icon Wreck-It Ralph and its upcoming sequel, so we haven’t had much time to catch-up. Thankfully he was eager to clear his schedule for the Werewolf Bar Mitzvah and to split a big ole Jack McGraveyard.

 

jack-mcgravyard-1

 

Full disclosure – let’s pretend you haven’t noticed before, ok – presentation / themed edible situations are not my forte … but when they taste this good, you should just look past that.

With a brownie base as black as a lost soul, littered with walnut brains and rotten (cranberry) flesh and topped with a cream cheese grass, this is a graveyard that will make you happy.

Plus, Trump has a tombstone … that counts for something, right?

Enjoy!

 

jack-mcgravyard-2

 

Jack McGraveyard
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
225g dark chocolate
225g butter
2 tsp vanilla extract
¼ cup fresh coffee
200g raw caster sugar
3 large eggs, whisked
150g almond meal
100g walnuts, chopped
100g craisins, chopped
½ cup icing sugar
1 tsp milk
black food colouring
4 oval biscuits
250g cream cheese
1 tbsp double dream
green food colouring
extra 100g chocolate, melted, for decorating – I used a combination

Method
Preheat oven to 170°C.

In a large saucepan over low heat, melt the butter and chocolate together. Remove from the heat, mix in the vanilla, coffee and sugar, and allow to cool slightly.

Once it has had time to chill, beat in the eggs, almond meal, walnuts and craisins. Transfer to a lined, square baking tin and bake for 20-30 minutes, or until set but still a little gooey. Allow to cool completely.

While the brownies are cooling, combine half the icing sugar and milk in a small bowl with a drop of black food icing to make your tombstone lacquer. Dip the oval biscuits in and allow to set on a lined baking sheet, repeating a couple of times to build up the layers – clearly it was too hot for it to set properly in my house.

Meanwhile beat the cream cheese, remaining icing sugar and double cream in a stand mixture until smooth. Add in enough green colouring to turn it into grass, or slime, whatever you’d rather. I also added black, because spooky.

By now the brownie should be adequately chilled so flip it over onto a serving plate, and dig out space for four graves. Ice around the graves, chuck in the tombstones and return the dug-out dirt to create freshly buried mounds.

Drizzle with melted chocolate, adorn your tombstones and devour. Edible glitter and other kitsch decorative things are highly encouraged – this isn’t a low-rent cemetery!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse

Dessert, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance, Sweets

Over the span of four episodes Jeff Varner has been dominating the game and setting the tone of the season however that two-bit floozy slash my Survivor nemesis Tasha (she cock-blocked my attempts to woo Joe pre-game) was able to wrangle Abi for two successive votes and boot out our dear friend and biggest non-idol-owning-or-person-named-Joe threat, Varner.

We have been friends with Varner for a long time, having met during the filming of Survivor: The Australian Outback where Annelie flew plane in the opening and I supplied Kel with my beef jerky. Much to Probst’s chagrin (we were not friends yet) we loitered around Ponderosa and joined the pre-jury trip where we bonded with Jeff over our mutual hatred for Colby (he had stolen Probst’s heart, obviously).

There was a brief stint following All Stars where we lost contact (we may have leaked spoilers AND blamed it on Varner) however we reconnected while working for Martha Stewert … where Annelie and I had nothing to do with her jail sentence. Trust us and please buy it, Martha can’t know anything.

Varner really took the fan vote to heart and turned up in Cambodia to play hard and reward everyone for his votes and even in an episode with Probsty’s wet dream, aka the DILFs glistening in underwear challenge, Varner was a star, battling hard in his final tribal council and walking into our open arms in Ponderosa with his head held high.

We tried to send a bug flying into Tasha during tribal to force a medivac but sadly it was Varner we were entertaining at Loser Lodge with a big vat of our Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse; well, what Probst left us – he wandered out of the kitchen repeating his commentary from the DILF challenge, Dietz, big and long, it will take some experimenting (hopefully we can join whatever he has planned).

 

Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse_1

 

Like Varner’s short stint on the island, the mousse packs a punch with the Grand Marnier cutting through the velvety dark chocolate to woo even the staunchest of Jaffa critics over to the choc-orange side.

Enjoy – like we will when Varner gets his inevitable third chance!

 

Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse_2

 

Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse
Serves: 6(ish).

Ingredients
6 eggs, at room temperature
350g (at least) 70% dark chocolate, preferably Valrhona
75g butter, cold
75g sugar
a good dash of Grand Marnier
a pinch of cream of tartar

Method
Separate the eggs, I prefer by hand for some visceral reason about connecting with your food however do it the easiest way you know, placing the yolks in a small bowl to the side and the whites in a large clean, dry bowl for a stand mixer.

Leave the eggs just hanging out on the bench and get to work melting the chocolate using a double boiler method (aka large bowl over boiling water – just make sure to avoid the bowl touching the water or it may cook rather than melt). Once the chocolate has melted, remove it from the heat and stir in the cold butter. Once the butter is fully combined, add a good dash (about a 2 tbsp, depending ultimately on how much orange flavour you want) Grand Marnier and 4 of the egg yolks. Leave to cool slightly.

Start beating the egg whites on medium in a stand mixer, adding the sugar and a pinch of cream of tartar the egg whites when they start to foam and continue to beat the until they form stiff peaks. Add in the two remaining egg yolks and beat until combined.

When the chocolate cream has cooled slightly, fold through the egg whites in three goes, gently folding through each addition. Spoon the mousse into cups/serving dishes – I went with ceramic mugs and espresso cups –  and refrigerate overnight.

Devour and enjoy, with or without what Probst has planned with his share.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.