Death at a Funeral

Tracy Morganrita

Drink, Halloween, Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

There is no way you could throw a Werewolf Bar Mitzvah without the man behind the man behind the fake hit parody song that inspired our halloween party, Tracy Morgan.

I mean, it sucks that Teens and Al are too busy to drop by and help us celebrate … but as long as we get to celebrate with the wild, entertaining, King and Queen of Crazy, everything will be right with the world.

We haven’t been able to spend as much time together as we’d like since his tragic accident in 2014, with the focus being on him getting better. I mean sure, I dropped in monthly to assist with his rehab and to help him on his way but being able to host him for a party just feels like such a treat and makes it feel like the good old days.

I’ve known Trace since we were kids growing up in the Bronx together, where I encouraged him to pursue comedy to give me some coattails to ride.

Despite being banned from SNL by Lorne Michaels all those years ago, 30 Rock finally gave Annelie and I the opportunity to work with our friends in 30 Rock where Trace was our chief defender when anything would go missing – which we obvi had stolen – or something went wrong.

Fun fact: we went on to inspire Grizz and Dot Com.

Anyway, Trace was so excited to be able to drop by again now that he is well again. Despite the fact that he has a history with alcohol abuse, I couldn’t go past whipping up a spooky, celebratory Tracy Morganrita to mark the occasion.

 

tracy-morganrita-1

 

Who doesn’t love a fresh marg – amirite, Julie Cooper-Nichol? Throw in some blood red tomato juice and a dash of tabasco and you’ve got a scarily good beverage, complete with the heat from the fires of hell.

Enjoy!

 

tracy-morganrita-2

 

Tracy Morganrita
Serves: 1.

Ingredient
¼ cup tomato juice
½ cup soda water
2 shots tequila
dash of lime juice
dash of tabasco
lime wedges and salt, to serve

Method
Combine all the liquids in a salt-rimmed glass. Stir. Serve garnished with a lime wedge. Devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Chris Rocky Road

Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Despite all of his pre-show panic and nerves, Chris is going to do such a great job hosting next weekend – he barely even needed me to tart up his script and makes the jokes punchier! He will perfectly balance the important political message of equality with humour and heart … but I’m giving too much away.

Chris and I have always had a very hands-on but not in the way you’d expect from me relationship, standing together during the good times and the bad and helping each other whenever the other is in a personal, professional or spiritual pickle.

I spent the early 90s enjoying life as part of his entourage at 30 Rock while he was on SNL – it was pre-Lorne’s ban – before encouraging him to focus on his fledgling movie career with such hits as the shockingly Oscar-snubbed Sgt. Bilko.

We were kept apart for a decade or so by geography with my many stints in rehab and prison, but that never lessened our bond and when catching-up it is always like no time has passed.

With important work to do finalising his script, I knew there was only one thing to do – make him his favourite Chris Rocky Road.

 

chris-rocky-road-1

 

As I rule, I grew up hating rocky road as jelly was foul and pink marshmallows confused me – I also thought it was spelt Rocklea Road and that angered me. I was, obviously, thrown into a fit of rage when once Chris requested some in the SNL writers room until he explained both the correct spelling and that pink marshmallows can just be binned.

With that I got to work combining all of our favourite things, peanut butter, pretzels and chocolate and the sweet, salty and ultimately glorious Chris Rocky Road was born.

Enjoy!

 

chris-rocky-road-2

 

Chris Rocky Road
Makes: 24 large chunks.

Ingredients
100g peanut butter chips
250g dark chocolate
150g milk chocolate
175g soft butter
60ml golden syrup
200g pretzels
150g peanuts
150g freeze-dried strawberries, roughly chopped
100g white marshmallows, chopped
icing sugar, for dusting

Method
Place peanut butter chips in the freezer.

Melt the dark and milk chocolate with the butter and syrup in a heavy bottomed saucepan over a low heat.

Place the pretzels in a freezer bag and bash them with a rolling pin to get a variety of sized pieces.

Empty into a large bowl with the peanuts, strawberries and marshmallows. Take the pan of the heat and mix the chocolate through to combine. Remove the peanut butter chips from the freezer and mix through.

Tip the mix into a lined square baking tray, smoothing it as much as possible. Place in the fridge until firm enough to set and cut, a couple of hours.

Place on a plate, dust with icing sugar and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Everybody hates Chris

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Much has been made of the annual #OscarsSoWhite campaign with many of my dear friends missing out on nominations, Will Smith not included – he broke my heart in the 80s when he ended our engagement knows what he did.

Thankfully the great Cheryl Boone Isaacs had the good sense to ignore the overwhelmingly privileged white, middle-aged men that dominate the membership (also, thanks for working to correct the imbalance, Chez) and hire my dear friend and confidante Chris Rock for this year’s hosting gig.

Chris and I first connected in New York in the 80s when we were both being mentored by Eddie Murphy. While I spent more time honing my suggestive outfits rather than my craft – I wanted Eddie to marry me, obviously – Chris was always destined to be a star.

With Chris busy prepping for his role hosting Hollywood’s night of nights, he gave me a buzz to come over and provide him with some much needed moral support (and assistance writing jokes).

What will give us energy to brainstorm while saying break a leg but not literally as it would be in poor taste for me to turn up impersonating you in blackface as a replacement host? Even I know that is not funny or appropriate!

Picture source: George Pimentel / WireImage.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Roasted Chickpeter Dinklage

Party Food, Snack

Pete is just such a delightful, delightful man.

As I mentioned earlier, Annelie and I caused a major scene on the Game of Thrones set during season one which had a highly negative impact on Dinkie’s relationship with the rest of the cast.

The incident? Obviously Annelie and I were both competing to mother Khal Drogo’s dragon, found out about the other’s advances and had an epic Dynasty style fight that would go on to inspire Viserys’ death scene. Let’s just say, I now wear a wig.

Anyway, Dinkie had vouched for us to get us the job and tried to stop us during the altercation, resulting in the premature beheading of our dear friend Dead Stark. He was painfully hurt by our indiscretion and vowed that the Master of Coin would never talk to the Masters of Bate again.

It was tragic, but we deserved it.

Thankfully, fate knew that our friendship was too important and intervened when I ran into Dinkie at Clement Clarke Moore Park in Chelsea. Impressed by my niece’s charm and the fact that I was, for some reason, trusted to keep a two-year-old alive, he reached out and extended his forgiveness and renewed friendship.

We spent the last festive season wandering the High Line, brunching at the Standard and (much to his chagrin) heckling commoners from the top of the Flatiron Building – the only thing missing, was Annelie.

Wanting to make up for missing out, Dinkie requested that our catch-up be absolutely perfect, which to us means plenty of booze and a batch of Roasted Chickpeter Dinklage.

 

Roasted Chickpeter Dinklage_1

 

Roasted chickpeas are super simple and can pretty much be seasoned with anything (lemon, pepper and Parmesan is pretty delicious) so play around until you get the taste you want. Obviously we went for something spicy, like you would expect in King’s Landing.

Enjoy!

 

Roasted Chickpeter Dinklage_2

 

Roasted Chickpeter Dinklage
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
400g can chickpeas
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp sriracha sauce
½ tsp honey
dash cumin
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C.

Drain the chickpeas and rinse thoroughly for a minute to clean off the beans. Drain off the extra water and pour out onto a tray lined with paper towel and dry, again, thoroughly. Discard any skins and paper towels and lay the chickpeas back out over the tray.

Drizzle the olive oil, sriracha, honey and spices over the chickpeas and use your hands to coat.

Roast for 30-40 minutes until the beans are golden and crunchy, keeping an eye on them to avoid burning.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Dinkie ride or die

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

The festive season is fast approaching (serious, just wait for next week) and we like to make as much time for as many of our besties as possible. Particularly ones that have won, at minimum, an Emmy Award (Golden Globes don’t mean shit to us in December unless it is the nomination announcement) meaning our dear friend and global treasure Peter Dinklage, made the cut.

We first met dear Dinkie when we were brought in to advise on swindling/falling for old men on the set of Death at a Funeral. Having an appreciation for the finer things in life, we quickly bonded and spent our time on set mocking those poor unfortunate souls that have had the displeasure of working with Keira Knightley.

What says let’s get festively freaky and continue to pretend that the ugliness that occurred after we were thrown off the Game of Thrones set for trying to touch Khal’s drogo never happened?

Picture source: HBO.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.