Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

The Tide Is High

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

With the Oscars done and dusted for another year, and me one step closer to my winning year – remember, I invented time travel and know when I am winning one – and honestly, the emotional highs and lows of the season have my heart feeling like glass.

As such, to eb the rising tide of my emotions, I left a message with my dear Debbie Harry and told her to call me back, post haste.

Picture this, it wasn’t the rapture, as Debs called me back almost instantly and said that she and the boys would be able to come visit me, one way or another.

No prizes for guessing what I’ll be serving, but you’ve got to be dreaming if you think I’ll confirm it before they sit for their ritual mid-meal portrait.

Image source: Blondie.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Hooray (I’m back) for Hollywood!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCII: Gold Basketball

The Oscars are so close that you can sniff them, Shane Gould is preparing to show us that she still is not to be fucked with and the US Survivor winners are ready to war. And you know that was enough to pull me out of my self-imposed exile.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s focus on Hollywood’s night of nights and why, once again, I am back to bother you all with a stench of mediocrity.

You see, my ex-frenemy and dear friend Elton has been touring Australia the last month or so and when I caught up – expecting to be asked to fill the Kiki Dee roll in Don’t Go Breaking My Heart – with Elts backstage, he slapped me (hard) and told me to stop wallowing, revel in my vile-pig mediocrity and return Oscar Gold to its glory in honour of his upcoming win.

And how do you say no to that?

So sit back, settle in and get ready to celebrate Oscar Gold XCII: Gold Basketball.

Image source: Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

The Island of Mount Rushmore

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

We’ve survived – pun not intended, I promise – the off season and my dear Jeffrey is back for another season of smutty innuendo and drooling over the male castaways.

I mean, remember controversial victor Chris coming out of the water? Swoon.

While it really didn’t feel like much of an off season thanks to Survivor South Africa and Pia’s coronation of Australian Survivor last week, there is nothing like having the OG back. Particularly since this season features a giant statue dedicated to the one true queen of Survivor, Sandra and her subject Boston Rob.

So buckle in, sit back and get ready to venture to the Island of the Idols. And join me Saturday when we catch up with the first boot slash tally how many incorrect assumptions are made about the title!

Image source: Robert Voets/CBS.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

He’ll be here

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Some people stand in the darkness. Afraid to step into the light. Some people need to help somebody, when the edge of surrender’s in sight.

But don’t you worry, it’s gonna be alright. Cause I’m always ready and my boy David Hasselhoff will be coming in to your sight.

I’ll be ready, so are you ready? Never you fear, no don’t you fear. Because I’ll be ready. Forever and always, and now Hoff will be here

What do I make the icon to celebrate last week’s 30th anniversary of Baywatch?

Image source: NBC.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Golden Family

Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: Golden Family, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, TV

Roll out the red carpet and guild the small screen as the Emmys are fast approaching, giving us time to celebrate the best of television. And question why some shows have continued to be egregiously snubbed.

Looking at you, Broad City.

But for every Broad City, there is a Schitt’s Creek entering the fray and a big nerd like Rach taking out some gold for her life’s work. And that is why I keep coming back for more.

So sit back, relax and get ready to honour the Golden Family for this year’s Emmy Gold!

Image source: The Television Academy.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Work the dilemma, child

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Do I have exciting news for you?! You see, we recently ticked over 1000 celebrity catch ups and while you can’t tell (since I’ve had so many unplanned breaks), my sweet Kelly Rowland could and called to congratulate me.

Well, actually she was calling to make sure I was okay with bushfires ripping through most of the state. But then when I casually dropped that I’ve had over 1000 celebrity catch-ups about fourteen times, she congratulated me and invited herself over to join the fun.

You could say it was destiny.

Given enough time had passed since I honoured Bey, I told her to jumpin’ jumpin’ on the next plane and get over here. What do I make for the second best of destiny’s children?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

The time loop is the real chokey 

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I keep casually dropping that I am still plugging away at this ‘ere patch of cyberspace, fishing for praise like a low-rent E.T. But alas, people are yet to hit me up in the comments to praise my triumphant and pretty-much consistent return.

But maybe the knowledge that Tim Minchin is dropping by this week will change things. Given his own penchant for writing things based on other written works, like Matilda and Groundhog Day.

The latter of which, I guess, is technically not written text. Though it was written, you know?

What do I make a fellow celebrated writer from Australian with what could only be described as interesting hair choices?

Image source: Californication.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

I die

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Can you believe? This week is about to get completely bananas as my girl Rachel Zoe is super keen to drop by for a date.

Yes noughties trolls, she loves to eat so shut it down.

I first met Rach while attending college in D.C. and encouraged her to join the fashion world, with the promise that I will support her as her assistant. Seeing where she has gone, I’m sure you can agree that I kills’ed it in that regard

What do I make for one of my dearest friends?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

A royal(ish) affair

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Given I have been back for five weeks now, I decided it was high time I celebrate my success with a little bit of pomp and circumstance. And given most of the top tier royals are busy or busy feuding, I opted to reach out to my dearest Zara Phillips.

That being said, while Zara doesn’t have the status of being one of Chuckie’s kids or even a child of one of her uncles – fuck patriachy – that is really a blessing, as she is sweet, down to earth and thankfully can live a real life.

Plus – it means she can drop by on record as the first blood relative of Lizzie without fear of retribution.

What do I make worthy of that honour and the icon that is Zara?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

My favourite screamer

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Can you believe I’m still kicking along after close to a month back on – or off, I don’t know – the wagon of documenting my celebrity dates?

No? Me neither.

I mean, I welcomed a new nephew last week – which is always time consuming when you’re bound to be their favourite – and am working through the trauma of the Ekka is in town and seeing a rooster on a footpath next to the Brisbane River, so the fact that I am still awake and coherent is a shock to even me.

Thankfully when I was at my lowest point yesterday, I received a call from my dear friend Keke Palmer suggesting she come right over to give me a pep and keep focused on sharing my celebrity life with you.

That made me think of three things, a) Is she psychic, b) can I love her any more and c) what the hell am I going to make TV’s reigning scream queen?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.