Cherry Deitz Pie

Dessert, Pie, Snack, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance, Sweets

OK guys, we have to start by saying this week’s episode was pretty tragic and was an absolutely horrible way for our dear friend Terry Deitz to leave the game.

A game he waited close to ten years to return for.

As you would’ve seen, Probst woke up Deitz with any sane person’s dream line “hey, it’s me Probst” (albeit clothed and not looking for intimacy), to advise Terry that his son was in hospital needing a heart transplant. While the story has a happy ending, in that his son has had a successful transplant and is doing well, the agony that Terry must have been feeling during his journey home was something we knew that even our cooking could not fix.

With that in mind, we got out our time machine and whipped up the pie before the season started and swore Tez to secrecy with the lie that production wanted him well fed and to succeed. Being kind and naive enough to ignore the historical proof of our duplicitous behaviour, he bought it.

We’ve known Terry a long time, having met while he was in the Navy, after Annelie and I decided during a bender that we needed to find ourselves strapping men in uniform. While I took the term ‘in the navy’ too literally for general liking, Terry saw us for the lost kids that we were and helped us become the people we are today.

Just imagine how much worse we could have been.

As Survivor’s Captain America, there was no other option than our Cherry Deitz Pie for his pre-game, retconned boot party. Between the tragic way his Second Chance came to an end and Varner just being amazing, we can expect Third Chance pretty soon, right?

 

Cherry Deitz Pie_1

 

The tartness of the cherry and acid of the lemon work together to make a pie is sharp and sweet all at once. The irony being, you can’t stop at one piece.

Join us tomorrow when we hang with our friend (who became our nemesis and then friend again) and latest boot, Woo – enjoy!

 

Cherry Deitz Pie_2

 

Cherry Deitz Pie
Serves: 8-10.

Ingredients
2 ½ cups plain flour, plus extra for rolling out the dough
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
225g cold unsalted butter, diced
½ cup ice water
1kg cherries, pitted and halved
½ cup raw caster sugar
2 tbsp tapioca flour
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 large egg, beaten
1 tbsp raw sugar

Method
Combine flour, salt, and sugar in a large bowl. Add butter and using your fingers, rub the butter with the flour until it resembles breadcrumbs/wet sand.

Add in half the cold water and combine; you want the dough to be crumbly aka short but to hold together when squeezed. If it is still dry, add water a few tablespoons at a time until it reaches the right consistency.

Split the dough in half and form into roughly 2cm discs. Wrap in cling wrap and refrigerate for about an hour. Preheat oven to 190°C.

On a floured bench, roll out a disc of dough (leave the second one in the fridge) under non-stick paper until about 3mm thick. Carefully place the dough into a 22cm pie dish, fitting into the bottom and sides without stretching the dough. Trim the dough, leaving about a 3cm overhang and place in the fridge while you prepare the filling.

Combine cherries, caster sugar, tapioca flour and lemon juice in a large bowl, stirring to coat the cherries. Remove the dish from the oven and fill with the cherry mixture.

Take the remaining disc of dough out of the fridge and repeat the rolling out process. When done, slice into long, 3cm wide strips. Carefully weave the strips over the filling to form a lattice (like with the Fiona Apple Pie), leaving about a centimetre of overhang at each end. Fold the edge of the pie over the ends of the lattice and crimp with a fork around the edge, discarding any excess pastry.

Brush the top with beaten egg and sprinkle with the raw sugar. Bake for about an hour until the pastry is crisp and golden and the filling is bubbling, reducing the heat until 160°C after about 40 minutes.

Remove from oven and allow to cool for a few hours before devouring.

 

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Monica Padilla Thai

Main, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance

While we were sad for Monica’s premature exit from second chances, it is always good to be in the company of kindred spirits.

Unsurprisingly, Monica and I both rely heavily on our exceptional looks and charm to get by in life. In our younger years, we went head to head in a college flirt-off. While Monica was shimmying, winking and pouting her way into the hearts and minds of many, my attempts were mistaken for an out-of-control epileptic episode.

While Monica may have won many years ago, I’ve been refining my technique in order to score the ultimate prize – Jeff McDreamy Dreamboat. Every post-second chances exit meal shared with our friends is another step closer to the Holy Probst (well unless Spencer’s experience being on the bottom gets in the way)! It is also a chance to bathe in the delicious irony that her love of the clam was ultimately her undoing.

How can we ensure Monica doesn’t win the great race to Probsty’s heart?  Carbs!

 

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The Monica Padilla Thai offers a delicious, spicy kick, comfortingly swaddled in an enormous pile of rice noodles.

 

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Monica Padilla Thai
Serves: 4

Ingredients
200g dried flat rice noodles
400g chicken breast, thinly sliced
2 eggs, beaten
100g bean sprouts
2 cloves minced garlic
2 tablespoons fish sauce
2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon sesame oil
Juice of 1 lime
2 shallots, thinly sliced
1 red chilli, thinly sliced
Roasted chopped peanuts, to garnish

Method
Cook rice noodles as per packet directions and drain. Set aside.

In a hot pan, pour beaten eggs and cook until firm. Remove from pan and chop into small pieces.

Add chicken to the hot pan and stirfry until cooked through. Add garlic, fish sauce, lime juice, half of chilli, sesame oil and sugar and cook until combined.

Add noodles, egg and beansprouts and toss through chicken mixture. Serve garnished with chilli, shallots and roasted peanuts.

 

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Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse

Dessert, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance, Sweets

Over the span of four episodes Jeff Varner has been dominating the game and setting the tone of the season however that two-bit floozy slash my Survivor nemesis Tasha (she cock-blocked my attempts to woo Joe pre-game) was able to wrangle Abi for two successive votes and boot out our dear friend and biggest non-idol-owning-or-person-named-Joe threat, Varner.

We have been friends with Varner for a long time, having met during the filming of Survivor: The Australian Outback where Annelie flew plane in the opening and I supplied Kel with my beef jerky. Much to Probst’s chagrin (we were not friends yet) we loitered around Ponderosa and joined the pre-jury trip where we bonded with Jeff over our mutual hatred for Colby (he had stolen Probst’s heart, obviously).

There was a brief stint following All Stars where we lost contact (we may have leaked spoilers AND blamed it on Varner) however we reconnected while working for Martha Stewert … where Annelie and I had nothing to do with her jail sentence. Trust us and please buy it, Martha can’t know anything.

Varner really took the fan vote to heart and turned up in Cambodia to play hard and reward everyone for his votes and even in an episode with Probsty’s wet dream, aka the DILFs glistening in underwear challenge, Varner was a star, battling hard in his final tribal council and walking into our open arms in Ponderosa with his head held high.

We tried to send a bug flying into Tasha during tribal to force a medivac but sadly it was Varner we were entertaining at Loser Lodge with a big vat of our Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse; well, what Probst left us – he wandered out of the kitchen repeating his commentary from the DILF challenge, Dietz, big and long, it will take some experimenting (hopefully we can join whatever he has planned).

 

Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse_1

 

Like Varner’s short stint on the island, the mousse packs a punch with the Grand Marnier cutting through the velvety dark chocolate to woo even the staunchest of Jaffa critics over to the choc-orange side.

Enjoy – like we will when Varner gets his inevitable third chance!

 

Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse_2

 

Jeff Grand Varnier Mousse
Serves: 6(ish).

Ingredients
6 eggs, at room temperature
350g (at least) 70% dark chocolate, preferably Valrhona
75g butter, cold
75g sugar
a good dash of Grand Marnier
a pinch of cream of tartar

Method
Separate the eggs, I prefer by hand for some visceral reason about connecting with your food however do it the easiest way you know, placing the yolks in a small bowl to the side and the whites in a large clean, dry bowl for a stand mixer.

Leave the eggs just hanging out on the bench and get to work melting the chocolate using a double boiler method (aka large bowl over boiling water – just make sure to avoid the bowl touching the water or it may cook rather than melt). Once the chocolate has melted, remove it from the heat and stir in the cold butter. Once the butter is fully combined, add a good dash (about a 2 tbsp, depending ultimately on how much orange flavour you want) Grand Marnier and 4 of the egg yolks. Leave to cool slightly.

Start beating the egg whites on medium in a stand mixer, adding the sugar and a pinch of cream of tartar the egg whites when they start to foam and continue to beat the until they form stiff peaks. Add in the two remaining egg yolks and beat until combined.

When the chocolate cream has cooled slightly, fold through the egg whites in three goes, gently folding through each addition. Spoon the mousse into cups/serving dishes – I went with ceramic mugs and espresso cups –  and refrigerate overnight.

Devour and enjoy, with or without what Probst has planned with his share.

 

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Peih-Gee Lawsagne

Main, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance

Poor sweet, scrappy Peih-Gee – just when she felt safe, our dear friend Abi-Maria (we met after getting kicked out of the same anger management course) flipped the game and orchestrated her blindside.

Let this be a warning to all of the remaining players, do not cross the Brazilian beauty … she will boot you!

We first met our (other) dear friend Peih-Gee while working as back-up dancers during Madonna’s performance at the 1998 MTV Music Awards (where I once again displayed twerking to the masses before Miley did). A fast bond was formed upon discovering that she was heiress to a jewellery dynasty, hoping she would go full Patty Hearst and help us rob the family business following a period of brainwashing.

While that didn’t happen, on account of her superior morals and strong will, she was kind enough to keep us blinged out with her superior jewellery designs.

Going into Second Chance, we felt that Peeg (as her closest friends call her) was well placed to succeed being a lone representative from a middle season however sadly our little firecracker Abi took an immediate dislike to our pocket rocket and she was doomed to join our other (loser) friends on the pre-jury vacay while we hung out in Ponderosa with their more successful peers.

While she was bummed to go out early, she was more than ready to leave the desolate Angkor beach and devour a hearty slice of our famed and noted Peih-Gee Lawsagne.

 

Peih-Gee Lawsagne_1

 

We first made her the Lawsagne while squatting at her San Franciscan home whilst Annelie was trying to destroy George Lucas for taking away her first love Mark Hamill and I was developing my Castro based, soon to be green-lit Andy Dick Broadway musical Little Whorphan Andy (Harvey Fierstein, give me a call).

Peeg had just returned from her crushing defeat in China (could you imagine how great a Peih-Gee / Courtney finals would have been?) to discover that we had sold most of her possessions and trashed her house – the only thing we could do to apologise, was feed her our delicious, delicious comfort food.

Enjoy!

 

Peih-Gee Lawsagne_2

 

Peih-Gee Lawsagne
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
1 cup Toni Basil pesto
1 cup green peas
400g ricotta cheese
1 egg
3/4 cup Parmesan
1/2 cup mozzarella
2 cups passata
1/2 cup cream
8-12 fresh lasagne sheets

Method
Heat a large saute pan and cook chicken mince until browned all over. Add cup of peas, cup of pesto and 1/2 cup of water. Cover and simmer for 5 minutes, or until peas are cooked.

While the chicken is cooking, mix together ricotta, egg, 1/4 cup Parmesan and season with salt and pepper. In another bowl, mix passata and cream.

Preheat oven to 180C. In a rectangular baking dish, spread 1/3 of passata mixture. Lay out lasagne sheets and top with a thin layer of ricotta mixture and chicken, and roll up from the short end. Place on top of passata mixture. Continue until all filling and lasagne sheets are used.

Top roll-ups with remaining sauce and sprinkle with remaining Parmesan and mozzarella. Bake for 35 minutes, or until lasagne noodles are soft enough to eat.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Dulce de Nick Lachey

Condiment, Dip, Sauce, Sweets

Remember in 2003 when Annelie and I took the world by storm as co-stars in the critically acclaimed reality series Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica?

Oh that’s right, we were edited out by the vengeful and aggressive Jessica Simpson for feeding her some of her most iconic lines to make her look stupid and undermine the legitimacy of the marriage (she actually has a PHD from Oxford and Annelie was trying to annul their marriage to get Nick all to herself, girl loves a boyband and the other Nick escaped from her basement).

While we have been embroiled in a private war with Jessica for the last decade (it has escalated to the point where she threw acid at Ben when they bumped into each other at Pump last year), our friendship with Nick and his dear, beautiful and superior second wife Vanessa couldn’t be stronger.

Nicky and Vanny were in town hoping to brainstorm ideas for a new reality format about finding the next 98 degrees, titled 39°C: So hot you’ve got a fever. It is essentially like every other reality show except it has likeable people with questionable talent.

We were so excited about our brilliant idea /  next venture, that I quickly whipped up a batch of our Dulce de Nick Lachey, which you just know was invented as a body caramel.

 

Dulce de Nick Lachey_1

 

This is literally the easiest thing in the world to make and instantly makes everything in your life better.

Enjoy!

 

Dulce de Nick Lachey_2

 

Dulce de Nick Lachey
Makes: 2 cups.

Ingredients
2 x 395g cans sweetened condensed milk

Method
Preheat oven to 220°C.

Place the condensed milk in a small baking dish and cover with a sheet of baking paper, pressing it directly on top of the condensed milk. Cover tightly with foil and place inside a large, deep baking tray so you can make a water bath. Fill the larger tray with boiling water, two-thirds up the side of the dish.

Cook for 1 ½  hours or until gold in colour. Pour the caramel into a large bowl and whisk until smooth.

Make sure you keep an eye on the water while it is cooking. If it dries out the caramel will burn and then, obviously, be ruined.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Not so sloppy second chances

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Ben and I have some stellar news – we are packing our glitziest sampots and jetting off to the set of Survivor: Second Chance!

Probst has campaigned for years to change the eligibility rules to allow us to compete in Survivor. While he hasn’t been successful (yet), this year he has finally managed to throw us a bone (albeit not the one we had hoped for) by inviting us to prepare consolation meals for the bootees of season 31.

Getting in the spirit of this year’s publicly voted cast, we thought it best to share our brilliant recipe ideas so that you can swing a vote behind your favourite on the CBS site. We guess you can also vote for your favourite castaways?

Picture source: CBS.

Christoffee Knight Cheesecake

Dessert

At the risk of sounding like I’ve softened (and that I am potentially repeating myself), Christopher Knight is a gentleman, a scholar and a saint, and the last almost-fifty years of friendship have meant the world to us.

Now that the niceties are out of the way, let me take you back. We first met Chris and all of the Brady kids through our friendship with the Jackson 5. You see, we were choreographing for the Jacksons (and later invented the moonwalk, but I digress) and Michael introduced us to his girlfriend Maureen who got us auditions for two new roles in Season 5 of The Brady Bunch.

We nailed the auditions and came on board as twin cousins of the Bradys and were so universally despised by the audience that the show was put on hiatus after our first episode and retooled to include a different cousin (with all copies of our episodes and scripts burnt to ensure we were forgotten).

Yes, we were a worse option than Cousin Oliver.

After our unceremonious axing, we stayed close with all of the Bradys (family is family, after all) however it was Chris and Mo that were always our closest.

In honour of the celebratory catch-up, we whipped up a quick Christoffee Knight Cheesecake, (fun fact, it is the cake he made to cheer us up after our axing), to devour as we caught up on each others lives.

 

Christoffee Knight Cheesecake_1

 

The bleeding (well melting, but it kinda looks like it is bleeding so I’ll stick with that) toffee cuts through the delicate cake/cheese and with the added crunch of the nuts (nothing suss) you have no other option but to face-plant into the cake and devour.

Or maybe that is just us?

 

Christoffee Knight Cheesecake_2

 

Christoffee Knight Cheesecake
Serves: Well 3 in this case, 6-8 for normal people.

Ingredients
1 cup butternut snap biscuits (something equivalent), crumbed
2 tbsp butter, melted
500g cream cheese
½ raw caster sugar
½ cup thickened cream
3 tsp gelatine powder, dissolved in ¼ cup boiling water
100g peanut brittle, broken into smallish pieces.

Method
Combine the biscuit crumbs and melted butter, and press into the base of a 20cm springform pan and refrigerate while you make the filling.

In an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese until smooth. With the mixer on low speed, add in the sugar, cream and gelatine until smooth and combined.

Fold through most of the peanut brittle. Pour mixture into the chilling pan (obviously remove it from the fridge, yeah) and return to the fridge for a few hours to set.

Remove from fridge about twenty minutes prior to serving and garnish with reserved brittle.

Hot Coco Austin

Drink

Let it be said and then repeated over and over again, Coco Austin is a saint.

I mean, not only did she look out for us on the cut throat dance circuit (trust me, it was way worse than Compton) but she has gifted us with the idea that, mark my words, will lead to a Tony.

Coco knew that our beautiful story from rival dancers with rival stage Momagers (Annelie was the greatest Momager I could have hoped for), through the aforementioned years when she protected us from Mary Murphy (she was Naomi Campbell to our Tyra Banks) to when Annelie introduced her to Ice and we all egged Meg Ryan’s home, was destined for the stage and knowing how talented we are as a trio, she knew that we were the only ones who could do it justice.

We have some money set aside from when Annelie and I scammed our dear friend Joan Rivers into listing us as the charity during her winning stint on Celebrity Family Feud (Ice and Coco threw the game for us), so feel the time is right to invest in our future plaudits.

We convinced her to leave that part out of the musical over a nice warm mug of Hot Coco Austin. Sadly though I have to relive the humiliation of being rejected as a Playboy model. I guess my torrid affair with Heff will make a good story though.

 

Hot Coco Austin_1

 

The key to amazing hot chocolate is cinnamon. Well actually, peanut butter is also amazing (you could remove cinnamon from the recipe and replace 1tsp peanut butter), but there is something so warmly, delightful and festive about cinnamon and chocolate.

Just don’t have it in 30° heat, or do. Get wild. Enjoy!

 

Hot Coco Austin_2

 

Hot Coco Austin
Makes: 1.

Ingredients
250(ish)ml milk
50(ish)g dark chocolate
1(ish)tsp raw sugar
generous(ish) pinch cinnamon
cream, for whippin’
extra chocolate, for gratin’

Method
Heat the milk, stirring constantly(ish), in a small saucepan over low heat.

When warm and starting to foam/bubble around the edge, remove from heat and stir in the chocolate and cinnamon until combined. Return to heat and cook for a couple(ish) minutes.

Remove from heat. Whip cream. Pour hot chocolate into a mug. Top with whipped cream and grated chocolate. Or extra cinnamon.

Also ish, obviously.

Ice(d) T

Drink

Yes, he isn’t the washing machine kid but damn Ice T is good company. Better yet, he definitely thinks we should become members of the HFPA for our contribution to the arts, Hollywood and the planet.

I think that is my favourite part about him.

We have been friends for some time, following a chance encounter on the Law & Order set where I was fired for sneezing when playing Corpse #2 (B.D. Wong over peppered my lunch after catching wind I would appear in Jurassic Park 2) and Annelie and Ice have been friends since their days hanging with 2Pac.

It was so nice catching-up, hearing about what our dear friend Coco is up to (she helped form and helped choreograph for our dance troupe, Jazz in your Face) and laughing about the time Meg Ryan caught us egging her house across the canyon…all over a refreshing glass of Iced T.

 

Ice(d) T 1

 

The rich flavour of the rooibos tea cuts through the tart lemon and raspberry, add to that the mint and sugar and you have the makings of a perfect summer drink for when you aren’t rapping or solving crimes.

Or learning to play the washing machine. Have I mentioned this kid is the greatest?

 

Ice(d) T 2

 

Ice(d) T
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
3 bags of rooibos tea
¼ cup raw caster sugar
½ cup raspberries
½ lemon
a small handful of mint leaves
ice, ice and ice

Method
Steep tea bags in a pitcher of freshly boiled water for 2-3 minutes, or to your liking. Remove tea bags, stir in sugar and leave to come to room temperature.

Once cooled, slice lemon into discs and add to tea with the raspberries and mint leaves.

Give a good stir, add ice and serve. With or without liquor, obviously.

Jeff Rib Probst and Elisabeth Hasselbeck Potatoes

12 Days of Survivor Christmas, Main, Side

It’s been an exhausting 10 days, with many of our closest survivor pals dropping by for a Christmas catch-up. With every cookie, pie and fancy dessert, there was always one thing in the back of our minds – Probst.

Probst. Came. Today, dear reader, was finally the day.

As you would probably be aware, our relationship with Jeff Dreamy-McDreamy-Free-Pass-Eternal-Object-Of-Our-Affection Probst has been tumultuous, so he insisted on bringing a friend to dinner (likely to deter us from making him our prisoner/Misery-esque lover). Luckily, his guest of choice was the delightful Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the Survivor: The Australian Outback contestant that has the dubious honor of being the first contestant to be worldwide spank bank material/the second America’s Sweetheart (we still love you too Col).

Lis has been keen to catch up ever since she hit it off with Ben on the set of The View. After Jazz in Your Face’s resounding success on the Ellen Show, Ben was looking for further opportunities for the troupe while Annelie continued with plans to thwart future Elijah Wood movies and subsequently save mankind from further suffering.

Long story short, Ben provided a short, naked dance intermission during a heated conversation between Rosie O’Donnell and Lis. Ben’s interpretative and confronting (literally) interlude got Lis’s attention and lifelong friendship and scared Rosie from ever returning…for a while (the whole Iraq issue was a farce).

How else to make the love of our lives and his equally amazing date feel welcome?

Indeed, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. However, the way to a man becoming your eternal (likely unwilling) love slave is through meat sweats and a food coma so terrible they lose the will to fight back. So, big meaty roast it was!

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The Jeff Rib Probst pulls out all the stops and is destined for special occasions only. Accompanied with crunchy, fluffy Lis Hasselbeck potatoes, this is a meal certain to impress.

Make sure you have plenty of cold ones on hand to wash down this deliciously meaty edible utopia!

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Jeff Rib Probst and Lis Hasselbeck Potatoes
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2kg approx. beef prime rib roast (allow one rib per two people)
8 tablespoons olive oil, divided
3 cloves garlic, finely sliced
12 medium size desiree potatoes
1 teaspoon caraway seeds
Salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat oven to 220 degrees. Using a small paring knife, make small slits in the top of the prime rib (ribs facing down) and insert slices of garlic. Rub with four tablespoons of olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast for 20 minutes in a cast iron roasting tray.
Meanwhile, wash and peel the potatoes. Using a sharp knife, halve potatoes and then cut fine slits, leaving 1cm at bottom of potato half to ensure potato stays together.
Once beef has cooked for 20 minutes, add potatoes to roasting tray and drizzle with extra 4 tablespoons olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast meat and potatoes for another hour for rare beef, or until cooked to your liking. Allow meat to stand for at least 20 minutes, while potatoes finish cooking through.
To serve, sprinkle potatoes with caraway seeds and arrange around the roast on a large platter. Serve with cherry gravy or other delicious seasonal sauces!

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Happy Christmas from the Fame Hungry team and all our celebrity besties!