Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X

Paul Wachaprese Salad

Salad, Side, Snack, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Ken continued to be a babe, formed what I’m hoping will become a formidable alliance, caught an octopus while scantily clad and then came from behind – sadly, not on – to singlehandedly win immunity for the Gen Xers … before Michelle and Jay briefly stepped in to completely flip the vote – leading to Hannah breaking the record for longest time taken to vote – and send Mari to loser lodge.

But let’s be honest, Ken. Babe. Heart-eyes emoji. Other stuff happened, who cares. No. Words.

Well actually, Michelle and Jay were seriously impressive. But Ken.

We quickly returned to the Millennials where Adam and Zeke congratulated the tribe on outsmarting them before Figgy commenced speaking in third person and Hannah decide to ignore Zeke and Adam’s pleas to the contrary and got in their face trying to explain why she flipped on them.

After continuing to harass them while they begged to be left alone, she tried to change the season’s theme to 50 Shades of Survivor, repeatedly begging to be used.

No joke, she shouted “I WANT YOU TO USE ME.”

Sometimes it writes itself.

Then next day we decided to check in with Gen X where Ken is somehow on the bottom – I mean yes, dream … but not in that way – with David and Cece despite being the sole provider of the tribe AND being completely hot. I mean, those baby blues!

Back with the kids we learnt that four members of each tribe would be joining together for a spot of jungle brunch to talk shop and hopefully spill the beans on tribal politics. Thankfully David and Cece hate their tribe so quickly threw Paul and his crew under the bus, positioning themselves and St Ken to align with the kids come switch or merge.

Another episode, another attractive man joining David’s harem.

The oldies returned to camp where poor Ken was filled in on his island nickname – Ken Doll – which brought up horrible memories of childhood, being referred to as a plastic eunuch. Which from watching him swim around, we know is far from the truth.

We finally arrived at the immunity challenge, giving me a break from my lecherous viewing, which was all about lugging heaving sacks around, draining them into a pit and the tossing them at a wall. So yeah, creeping was done but smutty innuendo is forever on Survivor.

More importantly, Survivor welcomed its first ever intruder to the game with Lucy joining the Gen X tribe … just before they lost their second immunity challenge.

Shhh.

Back at camp the Gen X tribe got to work scrambling, with Paul and his alliance locking in a vote for Cece while Kengel, Cece and David opted to target Paul. Then Paul told the females in his alliance that he would happily turn on the women in his alliance if the males came to him to form the very rare male alliance.

Sadly Paul was unable to bounce back from his blunder and was sent to loser lodge to reconnect with me for comfort. I mean, sure, he took his blindside like a champ … but not getting to watch Kengel wander around in his underwear anymore is a painful feeling.

Obviously I met rocker Paul during my groupie phase. Despite not ever bedding him personally, I was the band’s muse with my bonnet dancing inspiring them to greatness. And Tawny Kitaen’s moves in the best Whitesnake video aka the greatest music video of all time.

The only way either of us survived life on the road was by eating salad and only drinking clear liquids at breakfast, meaning we lived on my Paul Wachaprese Salad (and vodka but that isn’t necessary at the moment).

 

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While you could hardly call this recipe original, the beautiful way that the fresh tomatoes meld with the smooth mozzarella and sweet, fragrant basil is perfection and you don’t mess with perfection.

Like Ken, language and vinyl – enjoy!

 

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Paul Wachaprese Salad
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g ripe tomatoes, I prefer a mix of roma, normal (but seriously, what the fuck are they called) and cherry but any work – a mix is fun, roughly chopped
a couple of balls, good buffalo mozzarella, torn
a handful of basil, leaves picked
freshly ground salt and pepper
extra virgin olive oil

Method
Place the tomatoes, cheese and basil in a large bowl and toss together.

Season, add a lug of oil and toss again – gotta love a good toss.

Devour.

 

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Karmaagi Takasushi

Main, Party Food, Poultry, Side, Snack, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X

Previously on Survivor, Figgy was gettin’ jiggy and David was scared of literally everything, not least of all Figgy – I assume – before the Gen Xers took too many shortcuts in life and were sent to tribal council where poor Rachel Ako became the winner of the prestigious Francesca Hogi first boot award.

We arrived back at the hard-working shortcut taking Gen Xers where Chris delighted in tell us he was keeping David busy to avoid him becoming paranoid. Sadly for Chris, while keeping bust David started fire and found the first hidden immunity idol of the season – now trapped inside a coconut!

At the risk of sounding like Fabio 2.0 aka Taylor, how on earth did it even get in there? Nah gammin, relax guys, I saw the seam.

Speaking of Taylor, we checked in with the Millennials where the superior Tay-Tay and Figgy popped on their love goggles and made out, re-introducing us to the star of the season Michaela. After a killer confessional dropping truth bombs, Michaela then threw them straight under the bus much to the chagrin of Figgy. Do you think they know what chagrin means? Probs not.

Anyway, the freaks and geeks alliance were pretty pissed about the situation while #JayForPay wiped Romber from our collective memory by decreeing no couple has ever survived to the end. Aside from the lack of knowledge regarding Survivor history, Jay seems to know what he is doing and called out Taylor’s behaviour.

We finally checked in with my angel Ken, who will now be known as Kengel forevermore, who was rocking his tight, tight jocks in the ocean, making me as wet as he was. Then wait, seriously wait, THEN, Ken and David bonded and formed my favourite alliance of all time, named, coincidentally, after my favourite movie The Hottie and the Nottie.

Millennials Mari then explained the difference between TV and real life, which seems to be more of an issue for the professional gamer than other people. Thankfully Queen Michaela then returned to start fighting with Figgy – which sounds like an amazing TV show, Fighting with Figgy – while doing an amazing Matthew von Ertfelda impersonation with the axe.

Back on Gen X Ken and David recruited CeCe before Paul decided to continue in the tradition of Kaôh Rōng and have a medical emergency. Thankfully – well to all watching but David – Paul hadn’t had a heart attack and lives to see another day.

We then reconvened in the middle of a fucking reef for the next immunity challenge, can we just have the rest of the seasons set in Fiji for the killer cinematography and crystal clear water?

Can we also have Hannah sit out of every challenge to co-commentate with Probst?

Probst, “Chris ripping through the water.”

Hannah, “Michelle you’re ripping through the water too!”

Comedy gold! Anyway, the tribes continued looking for that ring – which I hope is a game Kengel is willing to play when he arrives at #Pounderosa – before Gen X, well technically just Kengel came from behind – you know where this aside would go – and won immunity, thrilling all but David who had his head in his hands.

Back at camp the millennials commenced scrambling, with Mari proving that she doesn’t have the greatest understanding of Survivor saying that Figgy would be blindside without even knowing.

Mari, the definition of a blindside is voting someone out without them knowing. This is a tautology.

Zeke then proclaimed his excitement to start booting people, meaning only one thing – we are in for a blindside despite the freaks and geeks locking the vote on Figgy with numbers to spare!

Adam and Zeke spilled the tea to Jay which was the catalyst for all hell breaking loose. Jay ran to Michelle and they showed impressive form clearing the air between Figgy and Michaela before pulling in the latter and Will to flip the vote on Mari.

Not one to rest on her laurels, Michelle continued her assault after arriving at tribal … where the millennials were completely in awe of the horror that is about to unfold in front of them. Mari was sad to be losing someone, Zeke was thrilled to be part of the game, Michaela spilled even more tea while Michelle continued to dominate, telling Hannah to change her vote to Mari without zero explanation. Hannah then teetered on the edge of a nervous breakdown, before having a conversation – not about puppies or butts as Mari said, but about booting Mari.

The tribe then voted where Hannah spent such a long time in the voting booth that Jeff had to peek around the corner to see if she had voted, as if he were watching Colby in the shower.

As the votes rolled in, my dear friend Mari indeed became the second boot and found herself in my arms at loser lodge to debrief over a plate of Karmaagi Takasushi. Obviously I know Mari through the pro-gaming scene, where I am really good at completing Mario themed games – and only Mario themed games – after reading the walkthroughs on nerd sites.

 

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Yes, Mari was salty – like nori fresh out of the ocean salty – after being voted out. As she explained at tribal, ended someone’s dream and being able to look into their eyes doing it is a lot tougher than through a screen like she is used to.

Now while it appears that my recipes may be as racially insensitive this season as the tribes that made a minority female their first boots, this and Korean BBQ worked with their names AND I find them delicious, so try and forgive the accidental, casual racism?

Plus, sushi is delicious, particularly karaage with some soothing cucumber or avocado and a hidden kick of wasabi. Enjoy!

 

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Karmaagi Takasushi
Serves: 8-10.

Ingredients
500g chicken thigh fillets, cut into a large dice
60ml soy sauce
2 tbsp sake
thumb sized piece of ginger, grated
pinch of sugar
½ cup potato or corn flour
pinch of salt
vegetable oil
2 cups sushi rice
¼ cup sushi vinegar
10 sheets nori
1 cucumber, halved lengthways, seeded and cut into matchsticks
1 avocado, halved and thinly sliced
Wasabi, to taste
kewpie mayo, to serve
pickled ginger, to serve

Method
Combine the chicken, soy, sake, ginger and sugar in a bowl. Stir well, cover with cling and place in the fridge to marinate for a couple of hours.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

While they are getting all snowboard and chill, combine the flour and salt in a bowl. Add the chicken, piece by piece using tongs and quickly toss them around to coat.

Heat a large skillet over high heat with a generous lug of vegetable oil. Once it is searingly hot, add a couple of pieces of chicken and seal the meat for a couple of minutes. Remove to a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until they are all done.

Pour over the remaining marinade and put in the oven to bake for 10-20 minutes until crisped and cooked through. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.

Meanwhile, rinse the rice under cold water until it runs clear. Place the rice in a large saucepan with 3 cups of cold water and bring to the boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 15 minutes.

Remove from the heat and stand, covered, for five minutes.

Move the bowl to a large bowl and stir through the sushi vinegar and allow to cool.

Now, round up all the elements and, most importantly, a bamboo mat. Place the nori shiny side down on the bamboo mat and spread a thin layer of rice over the nori leaving a couple of centimetres clear at the end.

Add your fixins’, pieces of chicken, cucumber, avo, wasabi in whatever combination you like – I just put all four in all of mine.

Lift the edge of the bamboo mat closest to you and roll away, tightly. As you’re about to get to the end, brush the clear part of the nori with water before finishing rolling. Press the seam together and allow to rest while you repeat the process until it is all done.

Once they are done, slice into pieces – I went two-three per roll – with a wet knife.

Then, obviously, devour slathered in wasabi, kewpie mayo, pickled ginger and/or soy.

 

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Rachel Akorean BBQ

Main, Party Food, Side, Snack, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X

Previously on Survivor – I know, isn’t this the premiere? – we were given the answer to the age old question, what could kaôh rōng? Specifically, kind of, for Aubry with the season resembling Game of Thrones and killing off three people, two of which were her closest allies. But that is another story from another time – seriously, click the link above if you want to hear about it – we’re off to Fiji for the battle of the ages.

A Survivor first … previously seen in both Panama and Nicaragua!

With that, we’re off. Then the game is off due to a cyclone and recommenced a day later before gen x learnt that taking both shortcuts – something they’d accuse the millennials of doing in real life – doesn’t work, heading to tribal and voting off the first of my competing friends.

Thankfully – spoiler alert – it wasn’t Ken, meaning he lives to see another day to inherit a blur in his tight, tight undies.

Jeff got to work making introductions, with high schooler Will admitting to the fact he was competing in addition to his homework, Paul described milk delivery as now the work of drones – not sure that is the case, but yay – and Michaela stole my heart by giving eye rolls that would make Sandra Diaz-Twine and Courtney Yates proud.

After an opportunity to scramble for supplies and making choices, old-Jessica grabbed an advantage in the game and Taylor opted to choke (I wish), sorry take, the chickens.

Jiffy then dropped the bomb that a large storm was expected in the coming days, scaring everyone shitless and warned them to build a shelter. Obviously the millennials then opted to go for a swim, rather than focus too hard on building a shelter as the aforementioned storm rolled in.

Thankfully Zeke spoke directly to my soul and admitted that being 28 but feeling 80 is a beautiful thing.

Over on gen x, Ken then started dominating like a boss given his experience living off the grid and old-Jessica introduced us to her Legacy Advantage which is vague, ominous and I’ll forget about it by the time she gets it.

Then Jeff sent them a love letter – which isn’t a good sign – to offer them a tarp for the cyclone. When it didn’t blow over, he visited and took them to share his hotel room with us to ride out the storm.

The tribes reconvened after the cyclone with the millennials rewarded for their previous lack of shelter by not having to rebuild, only build, before heading off to the immunity challenge, where – as I previously mentioned – gen x lost after taking all the shortcuts and my dear friend Rachel became the first person voted off the island.

Obviously I first met Rach while working for Heff, when she modelled for Playboy. I was immediately drawn to her intelligence and mentored her as writer, leading to her becoming a #1 Best Selling Author on Amazon.

Fun fact my mum rates me as the #1 Never Sold Non-Author in her heart. Same same.

Anyway, Rachel and I have been close for a long time and as such a knew that only my Rachael Akorean BBQ would be able to cheer her up.

 

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Like Rachel the BBQ is spicy and keeps it real. The delicately cooked – albeit haphazardly cut – meat is simple and delicious, the mushrooms sweet and the onion salad brings the kick. Combining to create a delicious meal leaving you wanting more, like we are left wanting more of Rachel on the island.

Enjoy!

 

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Rachel Akorean BBQ
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ onion, thinly sliced
1 bunch shallots, cut into thin batons
1 tbsp chilli powder
1 tbsp caster sugar
1 tsp salt
½ tsp black pepper
1 tsp white vinegar
handful shiitake mushrooms, roughly chopped
⅓ cup tamari
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
600g(ish) piece of brisket
ssam sauce, to serve
vegetable oil, to grill
short grain rice, to serve – cooked per packet instructions

Method
Freeze the brisket until solid through, overnight is perfect – then allow to defrost for a couple of hours while you’re doing the salad and mushrooms.

Place the onions and shallots in a bowl of iced water and chill for about half an hour, or until the shallots are curled.

While they are chilling, combine the chilli, sugar, salt and pepper with a tablespoon of water in a medium bowl until the sugar is dissolved.

Drain the onion and shallots and transfer to a bowl with the chilli sauce, add the vinegar and season again to taste.

Meanwhile, add the mushrooms to a small saucepan over medium heat with the tamari and muscovado sugar. Cook stirring for 15 minutes or so, or until the mushrooms are soft, sweet and glossy.

Finally, get to work on the meat by slicing it as thinly as possible, a few millimetres maximum.

Heat a griddle over high heat, brush with oil and grill the meat until lightly cooked, a minute or so each side.

Serve together on a platter as a snack or with rice as a main.

 

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We just need to work through the ika bula title, ok?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X

Let’s all agree, calling the season Millennials vs. Gen X is probably the worst season naming since One World, World’s Apart or the questionable label of favourites – and fans for that matter – in Caramoan.

But we can work through that because (U.S.) Survivor is finally back and once again Probsty begged me to fly out to a tropical location to entertain him during his days off and comfort the cast as they roll through Loser Lodge.

Will the season continue the winning ways of Cambodia and Kaôh Rōng? Well I can’t spoil but I’m confident you’ll survive the wait to find out!

Join me Friday (and sometimes Saturday) after the episodes as  I comfort the losers and provide you with unprecedented post-boot coverage!

Picture source: Monty Brinton / CBS Entertainment.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.