Interview with the Vampire

Cheese & Garlic Brad Pittza

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XC: The Goldfather, Pizza, Side, Snack, Street Food

I can’t believe that I’m halfway through this year’s Oscar Gold celebration, the Goldfather! It feels like only yesterday I was chatting screenplay with Diablo, back in time pondering tunes while seeing Hen and talking the highly contested director slots with sole female victor Kath. The latter, obvi, because it was yesterday.

Today, however, I am pulling out all the stops  – and during his performances in Thelma & Louise, Legends of the Fall and Troy, well, I pulled other things – by calling on my A++ list friend, Brad Pitt. Yes people, Brad Pitt.

Now I know what you’re thinking – when did Brad Pitt win an Oscar for Best Actor or Best Supporting Actor? Well, good job you! He hasn’t … but he did win one of producing Lupita’s breakout film 12 Years a Slave.

Anyway, circling back a bit, I first met Brad while part of Geena’s entourage. While I’ve gone off him in recent years, he was totally banging in the Thelma & Louise days. One thing led to another, we started a torrid love affair and while it didn’t last, remained the best of friends.

(Don’t tell him I sold the very NSFW images of him on holiday with Gwyneth as revenge).

Back to the task at hand though, I decided to mix things up and run the Best Picture odds before going through the acting categories. Because let’s be honest, who even knows if the Best Picture winner will even be correct after last year.

While my heart – as you can probably tell – has firmly locked Call Me By Your Name in as my number 1, I find it highly unlikely to get up after Moonlight took the prize last year. Though maybe Was and Faye will hand it over no matter what? So despite being the best film of the year, I don’t see it winning. Fact, not opinion. Anyway, rule out Darkest Hour, Phantom Thread, The Post and sadly Dunkirk. That leaves us with Get Out, Lady Bird, The Shape of Water and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, and even then, I feel like Lady Bird’s best chances rest with Greta’s noms. So eeny meeny miny mo, Brad said Three Billboards, I think Get Out will take a surprise victory. Fuck the Armitages, amirite?

Unless Jordan gets Best OG screenplay, then it is The Shape of Water’s win.

Make no mistake, this date was full of some very robust conversation. So robust, we could only be sustained by the cheesy, glorious goodness of my Cheese & Garlic Brad Pittza.

 

 

Cheese, garlic, herbs, dough. Do you really need me to say anything else? I mean the layer of oil and grease when it comes out of the oven may not be the healthiest, but damn is it good.

Enjoy!

 

 

Cheese & Garlic Brad Pittza
Serves: 1-2.

Ingredients
1 serve Pizsa Zsa Gabor dough
6 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup parmesan cheese
¼ cup ricotta cheese
¼ cup mozzarella cheese
1 tbsp oregano leaves, chopped
1 tbsp thyme leaves, chopped

Method
Make the dough as per Zsa Zsa’s orders.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Combine the garlic, cheeses and herbs in a bowl. Smear over the dough and chuck in the oven for 20 minutes, or until golden, crisp and bubbling.

Devour.

 

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Kirsten Bunst

Baking, Bread, Burgers, Fame Hungry's American Teen Princess Pageant, Party Food, Side, Snack

The star and true heart and soul of Drop Dead Gorgeous – and my life, TBH – is my divine friend Kirsten Dunst. Like all American girl Amber Atkins, Keeks has always been destined for greatness.

Given these facts, I simply knew that there was no better person to kick off our Independence Day / Drop Dead Gorgeous celebrations … plus, we met via my friend slash nemesis slash star of Born on the Fourth of July, Tom Cruise. Which is even more meaningful because we both survived him and avoided scientology.

Anyway, I met Keeks on the set of Interview with the Vampire where I was juggling both my lovers of the time, Brad and Tom. It was so fucking exhausting and stressful trying to keep everything secret that I broke down one day. It was Tom’s day on my schedule and he took me out for a walk and before he could push me into a van to the Scientology headquarters, I was introduced to Keeks and we quickly bonded over our mutual superiority to those in our vacinity.

My words, not hers – she is a damn saint.

I quickly dumped both the boys and vowed to make my gal-pal the biggest star the world had ever seen, getting her a role in Jumanji and getting Sof to cast her in The Virgin Suicides before snagging her the career making roles in Drop Dead Gorgeous and Bring It On, both of which I wrote about my teen years.

Given how busy she has been with the 1, 2, 3 punches of Fargo, Hidden Figures and The Beguiled, we haven’t been able to hang out as often as we used to, so she jumped at the chance to celebrate the season with me.

Knowing she is the damn star of the entire event, I couldn’t go past whipping up my Kirsten Bunst … because you just know they be reappearing later in the week.

 

 

Soft, sweet and insanely delicious, these rolls are the best thing since sliced bread, which is kinda awkward given that they are bread rolls. You know? In any event, these are the perfect rolls for burgers and hot dogs, and will make you regret the years you spent buying store bought like a chump.

Enjoy!

 

 

Kirsten Bunst
Makes: 10.

Ingredients
675-700g 00 flour
7g dried yeast
3 tbsp raw caster sugar
generous pinch of salt
125ml water
50g butter
1 cup milk, plus extra to glaze
4 egg yolks
sesame seeds, to top

Method
Combine all the dry ingredients in the bowl of a stand mixer. Meanwhile, heat the water, butter and milk in a saucepan over low heat until the butter is melted and the liquid is 50°C. Add to the dry ingredients and mix to combine. Knead the dough on medium, adding the yolks one at a time, allowing the dough to come together before adding the next … if you need more flour, add it here, though you want the dough to be soft, it shouldn’t be sticky. Once the yolks are done, continue kneading for about 10 minutes or until beautifully elastic. Form into a ball and transfer to a large, oiled bowl, cover with cling and allow to rise for 2 hours.

After the dough has proved, smack it down and separate into 10 portions. Shape them into burger buns or hot dog rolls, and place on a lined baking sheet. Dust with flour, cover with cling and leave to prove for another hour and a half, or until they have doubled.

Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Once they are beautifully puffy, lightly brush with extra milk, sprinkle with sesame seeds and transfer to the oven for 15-20 minutes, or until golden brown but still soft and spongy.

Devour as is, or complete with your favourite burger filling.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.