Snoop Daggywood Dogg

Ok, so full disclosure, we pretty much hate every aspect of a carnival aside from the food. I mean between the nature and the general public, it is terrifying. We are the people that inspired Eva Gabor’s character in Green Acres, after all.

We are more urban people, which coincidentally is where we first met our dear friend Snoop Dogg (slash Lion). Snoop shared a dealer, Nancy Botwin, with us back in the early 2000s when we were staunch supporters of MILF Weed.

As we were all crazy stoned, friendship quickly blossomed between us and were initiated into his gang after scoring him a role in Starsky & Hutch with our frenemy Stiller. We then went back in time to help him co-write his hit song Gin and Juice.

As most of our catch-ups involve having the munchies (and the fact that being stoned helps going to a carnival), we opted for a pre-Ekka meal of Snoop Daggywood Doggs.

Obviously we then stayed in and got crazy stoned and spun each other in circles. Such a better choice.

Crispy, crunchy and nothing close to something you’d consider healthy, these are best dipped generously in tomato sauce. If you’re wild, mustard is a bit of fun too.

Fun fact, the Snoop Daggywood Doggs are so delicious that they were the catalyst for the notorious gang fight / murder in ‘93. Thankfully our lawyer Johnnie Cochran was free to help Snoop out!

Enjoy!

Snoop Daggywood Dogg
Serves: 3 very stoned friends.

Ingredients
⅓ cup polenta
1 cup plain flour, plus extra for dusting
1 tsp bicarb soda
1 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
pinch of salt
2 tbsp caster sugar
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 ⅓ cups buttermilk
8 frankfurts
8 skewers
vegetable oil, to fry
tommy sauce and mustard, to serve

Method
Place polenta, flour, bicarb of soda, baking powder, cayenne pepper, sugar and ½ tsp salt in a bowl and stir to combine. Stir in egg, then, gradually stir in enough buttermilk to make a smooth, thick batter.

Fill a large saucepan one-third full with oil and heat over medium heat until a chunk of bread turns golden in about 10 seconds. Place extra flour in a shallow bowl and, working with one hot dog at a time, dust in flour, shaking off the excess, then, coat liberally in batter. Holding one end of the dog with tongs, gently drop into oil and fry for 3-5 minutes or until crisp and golden. You may need to turn them halfway through. Drain on paper towel.

Thread corn dogs onto skewers and serve immediately with tommy sauce and mustard.

For classic look, dip the tip in the tommy sauce.

The tip of the meat, obviously.

Meat as in the Snoop Daggywood Dogg, obviously.

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Christopher Porken Meatballs

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While it feels odd to celebrate anything relating to the Williams’ in this their time of scandal, seeing Chris and celebrating his ironic (thankfully he could confirm it) turn as Captain Hook in the extremely long-winded and completely horrible Peter Pan Live! was something we needed to do.

Yes the show was completely terrible, but we love Chris and are obviously highly supportive of his performance and his tap dancing.

We first met Chris on the set of Annie Hall where our friend Carol Kane got us a job as Diane Keaton’s vocal coach. Chris was just on the precipice of greatness with his turn in The Deer Hunter and made the time to mingle with all of his colleagues, even the entourage members / sham vocal coaches.

Thanks to the warmth and effervescent spark of Chris, we were platonically swept off our feet touring the Oscars red-carpets, hosting Hollywood soirees and sailing the SoCal coast and islands with our close friends.

As you would know, our group was struck down by tragedy when dear Natalie Wood passed away. Christopher was deeply upset and while Annelie and I tried to help him we turned to drugs while working through our own grief.

After a stint in rehab, we received a call from our friend Grace who asked for our help persuading Chris to appear in A View to a Kill. Working together on the film, we were able to work through our pain and restore our friendship, and have enjoyed a close, collaborative friendship ever since.

(Obviously the SEX book is our favourite collaboration).

Chris is still the warmest, mostly lively man we have ever met and his plot for a prequel to his Bond movie is just the sort of project we need to get back in Grace’s good, well, graces. Thankfully we threw together a quick batch of our Christopher Porken Meatballs and were able to really get the creative juices flowing.

In my fat kid’s version of favourite things, meatballs are high on the list and these are the perfect example of why; spicy, fresh and versatile. You can literally chuck them with anything and you’re good to go.

Maybe don’t serve with cake? Although if it works, let us know.

Enjoy!

Christopher Porken Meatballs
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g pork mince
2 tsp salt
3 pickled hot cherry peppers, finely chopped
2 slices toasted white bread, blitzed to a ghetto breadcrumb
1 small onion, very finely diced
1 large egg
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp hot sauce
small handful flat leaf parsley, finely diced
good pinch of ground pepper

Method
Preheat the oven to 220°C.

Combine all of the ingredients in a large bowl and mix together. Form golf-ball sized meatballs, rolling between your hands until smooth and place onto a lined baking sheet.

Once all the balls are rolled, place tray in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes or until cooked through.

Serve however you want, with pasta and a herby tomato sauce, on mini rolls as sliders, with mash and mushroom sauce or as we’ve done, with parmesan sauce and a salad.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

David Sespare Ribs

Americana Week, Main

Picture it, Christmas, Macy’s, 1991. Annelie had just been cast as Santa and I had successfully made the cut as a Christmas Elf after the casting director noted that he had “never seen a man so small and light in his loafers.”

It was the same year that Dave Sedaris made his triumphant debut as Crumpet the Elf (I went by the name of Twerk and inappropriately gyrated in the back of photos, inventing twerking). The three of us quickly formed the instant, unbreakable bond that can only come from working a Christmas in retail, having to endure the true horror that is the general population.

We spent the time threatening customers, warring with rival elves and trying to woo the sexy-Santa; it was glorious.

Following our time at Macy’s, we briefly travelled around with Dave working in orchards, picking up litter and hitch-hiking, before Annelie and I left him to flourish while we headed back to LA to scam some celebrities and avoid real work.

Despite his success and penchant to work hard, he has always admired our hustle and lack of work ethic, and we in turn admire him for that.

We dropped in to New York on the way to Washington and thought we should catch up with Dave and his sister Amy, in the hope that we could steal his latest manuscript and hock it as our own and get a voice role on BoJack Horseman as our relationship with Will Arnett has soured without Ames (Poehler) constantly requesting he give us another chance.

To sweeten the deal/bribe them, we decided to make some all-American David Sespare Ribs.

All together smokey, sweet and with a kick of heat, these are quite possibly the best ribs you can make … other than the ones you “made” by purchasing them from the Rammer Jammer.

Enjoy!

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

David Sespare Ribs
Serves: 4-6

Ingredients
1 x 1.5kg – 2kg rack BBQ ribs
2 cups apple juice

Dry rub
4 tablespoons smoked paprika
6 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons celery salt
2 teaspoons chipotle chilli powder
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 teaspoons ground ginger
2 teaspoons mustard powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon salt flakes

Grilling sauce
2 cups of your favourite barbecue sauce
2 cinnamon sticks
1 cup apple juice

Method
Combine all dry rub ingredients. Rub over rack of ribs and refrigerate, covered, for at least three hours or overnight.

When it is time to cook, preheat oven to 140 C. Place ribs in roasting tray with ½ cup of apple juice, cover tightly with foil. Roast for 3 hours, topping up apple juice every hour, until fork tender.

Meanwhile, combine cinnamon sticks and apple juice in saucepan over medium heat. Simmer gently until reduced by half. Remove cinnamon stick and stir in salt and pepper.

Generously cover ribs with barbecue sauce. Grill under high heat for 5 minutes or until dark and sticky.

Benjamin Salisbury Steaks

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Ladies and gentlemen, this week Annelie and I were dealt with a soul-crushingly abrupt plot twist!

Benjamin Salisbury has settled his feud with Shaughnessy.

I know! Sometimes life is hard to take, but sit down and let the shock wash over you.

At first, obviously, we acted like Lisa Rinna in Amsterdam and gave him a verbal beat down for showing up at the AB not C AGM to help us mend fences with Charles but after some Arianna approved meditation (that we learnt during a stint of court ordered anger management) and a wine, we were able to see the light and realise that moving on was maybe for the best.

(Our long running feud started back when we commenced working as slap-designers on Days of Our Lives in the late 80s. The role of young Shane Donovan came up for a series of flashbacks where Charles actively campaigned against me getting the role as I was too melodramatic and too into heroin).

Benjamin was such a sweetheart, sitting with us calmly over a meal of Benjamin Salisbury Steaks to help us through the hurt of the past and find a way to let go of the anger we had felt, and like that a relationship built on hate, finally became one of love and self improvement.

While it may not win any awards for appearance or class, the dish is rich, comforting and has enough heat to give you a kick. In our case, in the right direction.

Now to call Charles, maybe Ben will mediate our meeting?

Enjoy!

Benjamin Salisbury Steaks
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
40g French onion soup powder (yes, the packet stuff. Don’t judge)
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 egg
¼ tsp garlic salt
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
1 tbsp chives, finely chopped
2 tbsp sherry
¾ cup water
2 tsp sour cream
butter, for frying
extra chives, to garnish

Method
In a large bowl combine mince, 1 ½ tbsp soup powder, soy, egg, garlic salt, cayenne and chives. Divide into four thick, equal patties and leave to sit in the fridge for half an hour.

Blend remaining soup powder and sherry and leave to sit.

Heat the butter in a large frying pan and fry patties (which you’ve obviously taken out of the fridge) for roughly five minutes each side, depending on how well done you want them. This will make them medium. Anyway, once fried remove to a plate and keep warm.

Pour water into the still on pan to deglaze. Stir in the soup powder and sherry and bring to the boil until thick. Remove from heat and mix through the sour cream.

Serve the patties over some nice creamy mashed potatoes, generously drown in the sauce and garnish with chives.

Then devour and resent yourself for judging the appearance of the dish and the inclusion of powdered soup.

ParmiGeena Davis Meatball Poppers

Oscar Gold

It is a fact universally known that the greatest friends you can make, are those that you connect with during the darkest periods of your life and our dear, dear friend and Academy Award winner Geena Davis came to us in a time of deep personal turmoil.

We connected with Geens when she was studying for her role in Thelma and Louise. It is a little known fact that the final car chase is based on actual events.

Annelie and I had committed a crime that we don’t like to talk about (it was the basis for the plot of Ocean’s Eleven and we don’t talk about it because we hate Clooney); we were caught, were tailed by the police and drove into the Grand Canyon.

Geena was so understanding of our issues when she was trying to get into character that we have continued our friendship and even had her support when we were thrown off the set of Stuart Little during one of our foiled revenge plots against Jonathan Lipnicki.

Geens wanted to catch-up before the Oscars to talk about the rise of Patty Arquette and comeback of our mutual friend Keats (I was DeVito’s stunt/body double on Batman Returns) and we felt something warm and loving, like our ParmiGeena Davis Meatball Poppers, was appropriate.

The gooey cheese is offset by the rich passata with a strong punch of the basil that makes the meatballs a perfect comfort food/first post-awards-season-dieting meal.

Well, if you don’t go to In’n’Out, obviously. Which you should.

Enjoy!

ParmiGeena Davis Meatball Poppers
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
¾ cup breadcrumbs
1 cup fresh grated Parmesan cheese
3 garlic cloves, pressed
small onion, grated
2 Tbsp + 1 cup passata
½ Tbsp dried oregano seasoning
2 Tbsp fresh basil, chopped
2 Tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
½ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp fresh cracked black pepper
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 cup shredded mozzarella

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.

Set aside 1 cup passata and the shredded mozzarella

In a large mixing bowl, combine all remaining ingredients. Mix well, do not over mix or you will have tough meatballs. Portion out meat mixture to desired size (about a tablespoon is good) and place on baking sheet. After all meatballs have been portioned roll into balls with wet hands.

Bake for 15-20 minutes until lightly browned.

Turn over meatballs and drizzle passata over each meatball and top with cheese.

Bake a further 2-3 minutes, or until cheese is golden brown and bubbly.

Gorge.

Lil’ San Choy Bow Wow

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Our decision to rank the importance of this year’s celebrity catch-ups was (another) stroke of genius! Bow Wow (he will never be Shad to us, his closest friends), as always, was charming, funny and a straight up pleasure to be around.

Fresh from hanging with my (unwitting) ex JVDB and Annelie’s frenemey, Academy-Award nominee (and spoiler alert, soon to be winner) Patricia Arquette on the set of CSI: Something-not-starring-Caruso, Lil’ was able to fill us in on all the haps of the awards season and tinseltown.

Sadly, he couldn’t confirm whether JVDB talks about me. I assume he does though?

We also got to work on project Bring down Lipdicki 2015 over a celebratory lettuce-cup of Lil’ San Choy Bow-Wow.

The heat and spice were perfect for the horrific Queensland summer we are experiencing and were able to open our minds to a new, exciting avenue for revenge, faux-kindness.

On that note we’ll probably see Lipnicki soon. In the meantime, enjoy!

Lil’ San Choy Bow-Wow
Serves: 4, hunger dependant.

Ingredients
1 iceberg lettuce
1 medium carrot, peeled
4 tbsp vegetable oil
½ red onion, sliced
2 stalks celery, finely diced
Thumb(ish) sized piece of ginger, finely sliced
3 cloves garlic, finely sliced
10 fresh shiitake mushrooms, finely sliced
1 x 230g tin water chestnuts, chopped
500g pork mince
1 tbsp palm sugar (raw would do in a pinch)
2 tbsp soy
3 tbsp oyster sauce
1 tsp sesame oil
3 tbsp Shao Hsing rice wine (dry sherry works in a pinch)
6 spring onions, finely sliced on the angle
2 large red chillies, cut on the angle
1 bunch coriander, leaves picked
½ cup crushed peanuts
sriracha hot sauce or hoisin, to serve

Method
Trim the lettuce to create cups and soak the lettuce cups in cold water in the fridge to ensure the leaves are crisp. Grate the carrot and set aside.

Heat wok or pan over a high heat. Add the oil, onion, celery, ginger and garlic and cook for 20 seconds, then add the carrot and mushrooms, cooking for another 10 seconds.

Add the pork mince and fry, breaking it up with a wooden spoon, for approximately 2-3 minutes.

Add the sugar, soy, oyster sauce, sesame oil and rice wine and cook for another 30 seconds, before adding half the spring onions, half the chilli and half the coriander and give it all a good stir. Remove from heat.

Divide the pork mince mixture between the lettuce cups and garnish with the remaining spring onion, chilli, coriander and peanuts.

Devour.

Jeff Rib Probst and Elisabeth Hasselbeck Potatoes

12 Days of Survivor Christmas, Main, Side

It’s been an exhausting 10 days, with many of our closest survivor pals dropping by for a Christmas catch-up. With every cookie, pie and fancy dessert, there was always one thing in the back of our minds – Probst.

Probst. Came. Today, dear reader, was finally the day.

As you would probably be aware, our relationship with Jeff Dreamy-McDreamy-Free-Pass-Eternal-Object-Of-Our-Affection Probst has been tumultuous, so he insisted on bringing a friend to dinner (likely to deter us from making him our prisoner/Misery-esque lover). Luckily, his guest of choice was the delightful Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the Survivor: The Australian Outback contestant that has the dubious honor of being the first contestant to be worldwide spank bank material/the second America’s Sweetheart (we still love you too Col).

Lis has been keen to catch up ever since she hit it off with Ben on the set of The View. After Jazz in Your Face’s resounding success on the Ellen Show, Ben was looking for further opportunities for the troupe while Annelie continued with plans to thwart future Elijah Wood movies and subsequently save mankind from further suffering.

Long story short, Ben provided a short, naked dance intermission during a heated conversation between Rosie O’Donnell and Lis. Ben’s interpretative and confronting (literally) interlude got Lis’s attention and lifelong friendship and scared Rosie from ever returning…for a while (the whole Iraq issue was a farce).

How else to make the love of our lives and his equally amazing date feel welcome?

Indeed, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. However, the way to a man becoming your eternal (likely unwilling) love slave is through meat sweats and a food coma so terrible they lose the will to fight back. So, big meaty roast it was!

The Jeff Rib Probst pulls out all the stops and is destined for special occasions only. Accompanied with crunchy, fluffy Lis Hasselbeck potatoes, this is a meal certain to impress.

Make sure you have plenty of cold ones on hand to wash down this deliciously meaty edible utopia!

Jeff Rib Probst and Lis Hasselbeck Potatoes
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2kg approx. beef prime rib roast (allow one rib per two people)
8 tablespoons olive oil, divided
3 cloves garlic, finely sliced
12 medium size desiree potatoes
1 teaspoon caraway seeds
Salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat oven to 220 degrees. Using a small paring knife, make small slits in the top of the prime rib (ribs facing down) and insert slices of garlic. Rub with four tablespoons of olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast for 20 minutes in a cast iron roasting tray.
Meanwhile, wash and peel the potatoes. Using a sharp knife, halve potatoes and then cut fine slits, leaving 1cm at bottom of potato half to ensure potato stays together.
Once beef has cooked for 20 minutes, add potatoes to roasting tray and drizzle with extra 4 tablespoons olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast meat and potatoes for another hour for rare beef, or until cooked to your liking. Allow meat to stand for at least 20 minutes, while potatoes finish cooking through.
To serve, sprinkle potatoes with caraway seeds and arrange around the roast on a large platter. Serve with cherry gravy or other delicious seasonal sauces!

Happy Christmas from the Fame Hungry team and all our celebrity besties!

Pizsa Zsa Gabor

Main

Some things never change; Zsas is a spitfire with a heart of gold and we love her for all that she has done in keeping our lives together.

After her driver dropped her off at 5PM for our dinner (this is due to the elderly needing to eat early, and by that I mean Annelie and I need to eat early) she immediately launched into her concerns that I was living in an unsafe neighbourhood (“Grifters and vagrants everywhere, Darling”) and my kitchen was barely that (“This box is a kitchen? Darling, we will call it the Deluded Kitchen until you upgrade”).

Being that Zsa Zsa was like a surrogate mother to us throughout the years, we felt the need to make something homely and loving, so went with a Pizsa Zsa Gabor.

The dough had nothing it needed to prove (classic), being as warm and soft as one of Zsas’ hugs. In turn, the pizza was as spicy as her love life, brought out her exotic edge … and highlighted her hot temper.

She loved it, we love her. Enjoy!

Pizsa Zsa Gabor
Ingredients
Pizza Dough
2 cups warm water
1 ½ tsp dried yeast
½ tsp caster sugar
785g plain flour
1 tbs salt
3 tbs grated parmesan
3 tbs finely chopped herbs (I use oregano, rosemary and sage)

Topping and assembly
½ butternut pumpkin, diced
cinnamon
200g feta, diced
chilli flakes
small bunch of sage
tomato sauce or paste
herbs
cheese to top

Method
Place yeast, sugar and water in a bowl and stir to dissolve. Stand for 5 minutes, or until mixture starts to foam. Sift flour and salt into a bowl, add the yeast mixture, parmesan and herbs and stir until dough starts to come together.

Knead dough on a lightly floured surface for 8 minutes or until smooth and elastic (you could use an electric mixer, but we learnt that kneading was therapeutic in anger management). Move to a large, oiled bowl and cover with cling-wrap; set aside in a warm place to prove for 3 hours or until doubled in size.

Knock back the dough and divide into 6 balls. Place on a large tray and cover with a damp cloth (tea towels work great) for a further 2 hours. If you don’t want to make 6 pizzas (don’t know why you wouldn’t but in case), you can wrap the remaining dough balls in cling-wrap before proving and freeze for 2 months. You can then defrost and prove as usual.

When you’re almost ready to start, pre-heat oven to 180C.

Spread diced pumpkin on a small tray and coat with a dash of oil and some cinnamon (I am pretty heavy handed, but this is discretionary). Bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.

While the pumpkin is cooling slightly, flatten the dough out to fit the pizza tray (or whatever you are cooking it on). Full disclosure, I am terrible at flattening out the dough. I would suggest searching YouTube for instructions. It didn’t help me, but I assume it didn’t hurt either.

Cover with a tomato sauce (I just used tomato paste and the remaining herbs), sprinkle with chilli flakes (again, quantity is discretionary) and spread sage leaves, pumpkin and feta over the top.

Bake, serve and then eat.

Chilli Con Kim Carnes, con Kim Carnes

Main

Kim came over for lunch today, it was so great to catch up on the good old days when we were just starting out as singer-songwriter sensations.

Annelie and I decided that her more expansive kitchen, the Bitchin’ Kitchen, was the most appropriate place to prepare a meal for, and host, a dear friend who is also such a star.

We all huddled around the stove, cervezas in hand, as we gossiped about our other friends in the biz and cooked our lunch. Don’t ever let it be said that Kim is afraid of hard work!

With Kimmy being Kimmy (FYI, we call her Kimmy as we are so close), we thought she needed something with a bit of spice and a kick to match her spitfire personality and acerbic wit (don’t get her started about Gwyneth!) and as such decided to make Chilli con Kim Carnes, con the help of Kim Carnes herself.

Like Kim, the chilli could be underestimated by its apparent simplicity but after one mouthful, or in Kimmy’s case one note, you know they are winners.

Full of the kind of heat (I would advise taking out the jalapeño and halving the cayenne pepper if you want a tamer chilli) and flavour you won’t find in a meal-kit. For a Rob Lowe fat option, switch out the sour cream for greek yoghurt and add a can of chickpeas or lentils (you could even replace the meat with a can of each).

Enjoy! It really sucks you couldn’t share with us and Kim. She loved it!

Chilli con Kim Carnes
Ingredients
2 rashers diced bacon
1 onion, coarsely chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon smoked paprika
1 ½ teaspoons ground cumin
1 ½ teaspoons dried oregano
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon ground coriander seeds
½ teaspoon turmeric
salt
pepper
900g beef mince
1x400g can tomatoes
1x400g can kidney beans
2 cups water
2 tablespoons fine cornmeal or polenta
1 1/2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
Chopped jalapeño
Grated cheddar cheese, lime wedges, chopped coriander, sour cream and rice to serve

Method
In a large pot, cook bacon over medium heat until just beginning to brown, about 4 minutes. Add onion and garlic, and cook for 30 seconds. Add spices and ground beef. Cook, stirring occasionally, and breaking up the meat with the side of the spoon, until the beef is cooked through, about 10 minutes.

Stir in water, cornmeal, and vinegar, and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, until liquid thickens, about 20 minutes. It may be necessary to add a little water to thin the chilli. Season to taste.

Serve hot, garnished with desired toppings.

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