Strombombae

Canada's Drag Race 3, Canada’s Drag Race, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls worked through a lot of their Fiercalicious related drama backstage with everyone finally ready to get along and focus on the competition. Which was perfect timing, given last week they finally took the stage to play the Snatch Game. Thankfully Giselle opted against doing Celine injustice once again, instead slaying as Marie Curie. It was a three horse race at the top of the pack, as Irma gave a pitch-perfect Marilyn Monroe and Vivian channelled the power of Jessica Chastain to delight as Tammy Faye. Ultimately though, it was Giselle’s absurd take that handed her the second win in a row. At the other end of the pack, poor Kimmy was struck by the Ariana curse, though narrowly saved herself as Lady Boom Boom was booted from the competition.

Backstage Giselle was heartbroken to lose her fellow French Canadian sister, though given she left a hilarious goodbye message, they quickly turned their focus to how she slayed the competition. While Kimmy was disappointed to have to lip sync, she was proud of herself for fighting and as such, had a fire within her to slay. Vivian meanwhile was disappointed to have narrowly missed out on the win, while Giselle was hopeful to keep her momentum going and to parlay winning the most important challenge into winning the season.

The next day the dolls were still shocked that their frontrunner was gone, which disappointed Jada given she felt she was a front runner too. Irma meanwhile was proud to have done well, though ready to get that win ASAP. While Bombae was feeling a little lost, though Giselle encouraged her to just show the judges who she is. Their kiki was interrupted by the arrival of Traci who tasked them with dragging up for family photoshoots. Vivian, Kimmy and Fiercalicious would shoot a holiday card, Bombae and Irma were giving vacation chic, while Giselle and Jada would be celebrating their growing family. Vivian was an absolute delight as they did their shoot with Kimmy a killer mess and well, I love their trio. Irma and Bombae were totally demented divorcees while Jada and Giselle were such a gorgeous couple as their third baby was born. And despite everyone slaying, it was Jada that took out victory. And well, Vivian was robbed, TBH.

Before departing, Traci announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be pulling together an eye shadow palette before filming a commercial to promote their product. The girls immediately selected their colours before splitting up to work on their campaigns. Kimmy was going to be giving all the heart, while Bombae planned to give a deluded ‘90s supermodel. Jada was planning to turn up the party, while Fiercalicious was selling fierce, obviously. And damn, she was focused on taking out the win, methodically planning her concept and selling herself to the judges. Vivian, Giselle and Irma were focused on making it funny, as the former planned to target the cat-parent market. Giselle planned to teach international swears, while Irma was selling snotty vibes. Bombae started to worry about having the wrong concept, approaching Irma and Vivian to see if her idea of desperation was good. With Irma reminding her that she is better than a ‘desperate to win’ joke and instead, she should come up with a new plan.

Vivian was first up to film her commercial, nervous as hell but no less charming. Giselle gave full ‘90s glamour and while Traci didn’t love the amount of beeping through the commercial, she was confident. Bombae’s new concept served butter chicken and tackled racism and immigration before Kimmy dropped by and lived her best life throughout the shoot, giggling at her own jokes and being generally adorbs. Irma was fluro, wild and oh so fun before Fiercalicious was focused and on brand. Oh and Jada was obviously charming as hell.

Elimination Day arrived with Giselle and Irma confident in their commercials before the girls kikied about their first time in drag. Bombae admitted her sisters dressed her up when she was a kid and felt so pretty, instantly falling in love with drag. Kimmy shared that she came out as trans at 6, with her mum raising her up and allowing her to express herself and damn, I am crying. Fiercalicious was feeling like she can help the future queens learn skills by being in the competition, while Jada got her start after a promoter suggested she compete in a bar pageant.

Brooke, Traci and Brad were joined by Mei Pang on the panel as the dolls stomped the Paint runway with Vivian slaying as a sexy work of art, painter’s palette. Irma was stunning as a paint by numbers delight, Bombae served drama in a beautiful watercolour look, Jada was gorgeous as she dedicated her look to her black beauty while Giselle was a perfect Picasso. Fierce gave camp glamour as a swinging rococo girl before Kimmy closed the show as the love child of Vivian and Bombae, and oh so sexy.

When it came to the commercials, Vivian was bonkers and energetic and well, I love everything about it. And how much she lived for it herself. While Mai suggested she adds some drama to her make-up, though beyond that, she is perfect. Along with her runway. Irma’s runway received universal praise while the judges felt her ad was a mess of concepts, despite it being fun. Bombae’s commercial was super fun, though the judges only really lived for her girly runway, feeling like her commercial was too rehearsed. Jada was praised for looking so good, which led to her breaking down as the judges heaped all the praise for what she did this week. While Traci held back tears over how much she loved it all too.

Giselle meanwhile was totally bonkers, though the judges felt she was too focused on serving funny rather than giving any content at all. Thankfully, her look was absolutely stunning and they loved it. Fiercalicious, gave the most traditional commercial and was rightly praised for how strong the end product turned out. And for how close she stuck to her brand. Add into that the perfection on the runway and well, condragulations my dear, you’re the winner of this week’s challenge. Kimmy meanwhile was adorable and oh so stupid and I love it. As did the judges, only they were confused by her look.

Backstage the dolls were all confused about who could be landing in the bottom, with everyone getting high praise for half of the week. Vivian encouraged Jada to accept the fact she is a beautiful queen, while Bombae was worried that the judges think she is terrible at make-up and is quite confident she will be lip syncing. Irma suggested Kimmy will be in the bottom too, given they hated her runway while Fierce and Kimmy were sure Irma and Giselle would be the ones joining Bombae in the bottom. Despite their perfect runways. And while everyone thinks it is between Jada and Vivian, Fierce was confident in her chances too.

Ultimately Kimmy was sent to safety before Fiercalicious found out she was right to back herself, taking out her first win of the season. That left Vivian and Jada as safe, before they were narrowly joined by Giselle. Which left Irma to face off against Bombae to Table Dancer by Keisha Chante. And while I was fully expecting Bombae to demolish, Irma put up an epic fight, giving comedy, shapes and hitting every lyric. And while Bombae was so stunning and perfect, she spent the start of the song worried about her nips popping out and well, it felt like that distraction is all that cost her, as the dolls turned a show. Though tragically, it was Bombae’s final one this season leaving Irma to fight another day.

Backstage Bombae was still pretty down on herself after the judges critiques and getting in her head before I started to channel Ru. Well, after I pulled her in for a hug. After the physical contact was down, Ru took possession of my body, reminding Bombae that all the negative thoughts running through her head were her inner-saboteur and that the judges critiques weren’t to have a go at her, but to help her explore areas that she could try something different in. You know, because drag is art and art is subjective. Once that little Boulet detour was out of the way, I pulled her in for another hug and reminded her she is perfect, will likely win an All Star season because of her talents and then fed her drive with a piping hot Strombombae.

Stromboli is one of the lesser known – at least here in Australia – Italian delights. Part pull-apart, part calzone, all deliciousness, it is the perfect, cheesy-carby snack to help cheer you up and reinvigorate your soul. Annnnnnd, now I have Beyonce in my head again.

Enjoy!

Strombombae
Serves: 2 dear friends, or 6 on the reg.

Ingredients
1 ball of pizza dough per Zsa Zsa’s recipe, or store bought if you don’t have time
1 cup Amber Marinara Sauce
150g ham, sliced
150g hot salami, sliced
1-2 cups mozzarella, grated
½ cup parmesan, grated
a small handful basil, roughly chopped
1 egg, whisked

Method
Preheat the oven to 220°C.

Split the dough in half and roll out each on a lightly floured surface until it is roughly the size of a 20x30cm rectangle. Spread the mariana over each rectangle, leaving a little border around the edges. Divide the meats, half the mozzarella and most of the parmesan over the top, followed by the basil. Fold in the shorter sides before rolling the dough to enclose the filling, wetting the final edge to seal the dough. Transfer to a lined baking sheet, seam-side down.

Brush each log with some egg, followed by some extra mozzarella and parmesan, and slash some diagonal cuts into the top with a knife. Leave to prove for about 15 minutes before transferring to the over to bake for 15 minutes, or until golden and cooked through.

Leave to rest for five minutes before devouring, ideally with a sprinkle of basil and extra marinara for dippin’.


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Cordon Blu Hyburgea

Burgers, Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 1, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens were divided into two girl groups and honestly the charts say it all with the Frock Destroyers doing as their name suggests and completely annihilated the competition, stormed the charts and claimed the first ever triple win. Despite being on the losing team, my girl Cheryl finally had her star turn, leaving The Vivienne to lip sync following her first sign of weakness. And lip sync she did, fighting hard to retain her place in the show leaving poor Crystal to be booted from the competition.

Back in the Werk Room, The Vivienne was disappointed that she let herself down, though Blu was glad to see her knocked down a peg. Speaking of Blu the shady little producer asked The Vivienne who she would have picked had she won the reading challenge, with her shocking Chez by saying she would have selected her and then went silent. Much to Divina’s rage, who was sick of The Vivienne sleeping on her and the bounty of skills that she has. Which Baga agreed that Viv was undervaluing. While the drama subsided, The Vivienne approached her to apologise … though Divina felt they were backhanded and shit started to get real. She then listed out that she would have selected everyone but Blu in the challenge before Divina listed her myriad of skills while Baga awkwardly hid behind furniture and hammed it up for the cameras while Blu and Cheryl Hole were stuck watching on like children of divorce.

The next day the mood was less somber, wait no, Divina was still feisty and angry with herself for wasting time giving a shit what The Vivienne thinks. Before it broke into fisticuffs, Ru arrived with the Brit Crew to play a little game of BBC, where they were required to identify if the Brit Crew were rocking boxers, briefs or going commando. I was going to try and keep track of the queens and their scores, but we’re all the winners as the boys kept knocking their junk as they pulled their pants down. The Vivienne did an impersonation of Kim Woodburn though, which is all I took away from things while so light-headed. Ultimately Divina was crowned the victor – added another feather to her cap – gifting her a video call with the iconic Katya.

Before we got the call with Katya, Ru announced that this week’s challenge would require them to film a commercial for a bottled water company. Which terrified Cheryl as she has no idea what to do and didn’t want to go back to the bottom. When she spoke to Blu and they brainstormed an Alyssa-esque diva water to give people the Essex vibe, which The Vivienne shadily tried to talk her out of and told her to step outside of her box. And despite kinda knowing that that is what they were trying to do, Cheryl tried to come up with plan B through Z. Viv and Baga were gossiping about Cheryl needing to finally have a moment this week when Ru arrived to get Blu into piss play, filling her with nerves. Blu’s concept was about bottling her vanity and leaning into the weird creepiness, despite Ru not really loving it. Have a lovely day, though!

Frontrunner Baga’s concept was all about water making people ugly to stop people being horny, which Ru hated and told her to make the damn water chip flavour. The Vivienne’s concept fared much better *insert token Baga GIF*, focusing on rehydrating thirsty women. Cheryl settled on the British version of GoGo Juice for the club kids, which Ru loved … before reminding Cheryl that she is the only queen without a win. Though he turned it around with a peptalk, so yay? Divina was so far ahead of the pack that she was already working on her costume, settling on DD-Sea water. Before I got to reading her lack of knowledge about desalination, talk turned to her and The Vivienne’s feud and her reminding Ru that for some reason people don’t want to acknowledge that she is a threat.

Oh and then Ru dropped that this week’s guest judge is Cheryl Cole and the look on Cheryl Hole’s face was honestly too pure for this world.

With Ru gone, The Vivienne confronted Divina about what she said about her to Ru with Divina pointing out that she was asked and answered a question. To her credit though, The Vivienne shut it down, reminded her that she knows that she is fierce and asked to move forward.

Blu was the first one to film with Graham and straight up masturbated her bottle. Which was a vibe and mood. Cheryl was next, putting the Brit Crew to work with removalists duties and being completely batshit crazy and wild. In the best way possible. The Vivienne slayed as a miserable housewife, complete with chucking her baby and wetting the Brit Crew as much as they do my basement. Divina’s commercial was an epic and appeared to bore everyone, so will likely be amazing. Baga then wrapped things up, stuffing her gob with a tonne of battered sausage, which makes no sense but I think I like. Though maybe that is the Brit Crew’s bulges?

Divina excused herself to make her video call with Katya before being surprised by the icon in the flesh who gave the greatest advice and hot damn I miss her and wish she would return to claim her rightful crown.

The queens danced into Elimination Day before making a hard pivot, talking about alcohol and other drug use. The Vivienne then shared that she was an addict and it took three friends dying to finally wake her up and let her hit rock bottom to get her clean. And now she is two years sober, which is something she should be really proud of. As she should be about her name dropping the organisations local to her that are making a difference.

Pivoting really really hard, the queens graced the Rainy Day Eleganza Runway, with Divina going from the killer in I Know What You Did Last Summer to a stunning bumble bee outfit. Cheryl was at risk of rusting in a stunning metallic number. Baga entered with a bird on her head, in a less SJP style. The Vivienne looked like a sexy Samara from the ring, complete with gloomy cloud while Blu opted with a shiny, sparkly Harajuku look.

We then got to the commercials with Divina’s ad turning out as amazing as I assumed; it had a message, it was funny and she made the Brit Crew squat. Oh and the judges also loved her corseted raincoat reveal. Cheryl also died meeting her namesake, despite telling her that Girl’s Aloud’s breakup ruined her. After gushing at her hero in the most beautiful way, we learnt Cheryl’s commerical was as wacky as it seemed, though again, Brit Crew twerking is always a win. While the ad was panned for not going anywhere, the judges loved her outfit despite it being five inches too short.

Except for Cheryl Cole who was making Cheryl’s life.

Baga commercial was classic Baga AND featured the Brit Crew rubbing their dripping chests and finished with Baga burping. Though Michelle hated it and thought her look wasn’t as polished as the other girls. The Vivienne’s commercial was sexy, smutty and hilarious, and her runway received universal praise. Particularly juxtaposed with her commercial look. Poor Blu’s commercial was rather beige, despite the sexual connotations and political digs. Because it went nowhere. Though her look received universal praise.

Backstage Cheryl was still on cloud nine from meeting her namesake, despite being read by the judges. The Vivienne was glad to bounce back, and Divina was thrilled that she stood by her convictions and stuck with the concept. Baga however had given up, sure that she would be in the bottom two and hadn’t learnt the lip sync song. This enraged Cheryl who felt like she couldn’t handle the heat, before The Vivienne told her some hard truths and made her focus on the task at hand, get her head in the game and learn her damn lip sync.

Ultimately The Vivienne completed the ultimate comeback, snatching the win while Baga narrowly avoided the bottom leaving Blu to battle Cheryl … IN FRONT OF HER SHERO. And holy shit did she deliver! She felt the beat in her pussy, she flipped, she nailed every letter of every syllable in every word, smashed her death drops into the ground and even poor Blu knew it was over halfway through, hugging her bestie and letting her live her best life.

Despite just exiting the competition, Blu was positively jubilant at what she had managed to achieve and as such took it in stride. I guess storming the charts really is a killer silver lining! While I haven’t known Blu as long as the other girls, we have been friends for a few years and actually inspired her first Titanic themed runway. You see, I was working at the Titanic museum in Ireland – pretending to be a descendant of the Captain – and Blu came in with her school group. While the teacher saw right through my lies and outed me in front of everyone, Blu lived for the drama and we became the fastest of friends. The only way I could repay her kindness was by promising to make her a Cordon Blu Hyburgea whenever she wanted.

Cheesy garlicky chicken is amazing, as are burgers. Put those things together and well, I’m in heaven. Kinda like a chicken juicy lucy, this burger is on point – just be mindful not to completely scorch your mouth on the cheese.

Enjoy!

Cordon Blu Hyburgea
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
salt and pepper, to taste
2 slices ham, shredded
½ cup swiss cheese, grated
olive oil
2 Brichosher Bunsbergs
2 tbsp Shayonnaise Swain
2 tbsp marinara sauce
1 tomato, sliced
a couple butter lettuce leaves, washed and dried
2 tbsp parmesan, grated

Method
Combine the chicken mince in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Mix well to combine and divide into four equal portions.

Flatten two portions out, divide the ham and swiss cheese and place in the centre of each. Top with the remaining portions and close to seal.

Heat a lug of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat and once nice and hot, add the patties and cook for five minutes of until cooked through and nicely browned. Flip and cook for a further five minutes to ensure that the cheese is nice and gooey.

To assemble, split the buns and smear each with some mayo and mariana. Layer with tomato and lettuce, sprinkle on some parmesan and finally, top with the patty and close her up.

Serve immediately with freshly cooked fries and, obviously, devour.


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Stuffed Shelly Long Bake

Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: Golden Family, Main, Pasta

After spending the last few days catching up with the current shining stars of television – hey there current nominee Christina Applegate, and rising stars Riz and Tatiana! – I decided Emmy Gold: Golden Family needed some gravitas in the form of some TV royalty. So I picked up the phone and invited myself over to celebrate Shelley ma’ fuckin’ Long.

While yes, she is still working hard with killer runs on Modern Family and less recently – and my favourite – playing Carol Brady in The Brady Bunch movies, her Emmy winning turn as Diane in Cheers is truly the stuff of TV legend.

I mean, her and zaddy Ted Danson’s will-they-won’t-they romance is enough to flood my basement even now.

Obviously Shell was honoured to finally get the call up to appear on this patch of cyberspace and introduce herself to a new audience. While our relationship started out quite rocky thanks to the meddling ways of the morally corrupt Kelsey Grammer, Rhea Perlman – the saint that she is – was able to sit us down, make us see sense and finally end our feud in 1987 before Shelley departed Cheers.

Did I mention I was a featured barfly in Cheers? Because I was.

Anyway, given she starred in one of the most iconic comedies of all time, I got her to help me run the odds for Outstanding Comedy Series, hoping that this category provides a well-deserved surprise slash great return on gambling investment. While Veep, Barry, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and Fleabag are generating the most chatter to take out the win, this is the category that I could honestly make a case for every nominee taking it out. Russian Doll was bold and moving, The Good Place is the greatest exploration of morality ever committed to screen and Schitt’s Creek is a remarkable show filled with hope and joy.

While my heart wants Schit’s Creek to take it out and Shelley thinks The Good Place deserves it, I think it will go to Fleabag. But given Schitt’s has the worst odds, am betting it all on them for a good return on investment. While Shelley tried to suggest I go for a safer bet, I didn’t listen and drowned out her wise words by smashing a big Stuffed Shelly Long Bake.

 

 

There is nothing better than pasta … except kitsch foods, so using that logic, this baby is the holy grail. Large shell pasta bake full of rich, creamy spinach and cheese floating through a sea of spicy tomato sauce like the SS Noms? Sign me up.

Enjoy!

 

 

Stuffed Shelly Long Bake
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
300g jumbo pasta shells, cooked per packet instructions
olive oil
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 onion, diced
250g spinach, roughly chopped
500g ricotta cheese
1 cup mozzarella cheese
½ cup Parmesan cheese, grated
1 egg, lightly whisked
a small handful fresh basil, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste
2 cups marinara sauce
1 tbsp chilli flakes

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Heat a good lug of olive oil in a skillet and sweat the onion and garlic for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the spinach, remove from heat and cook, stirring for a minute or so, or until the residual heat has wilted the spinach. Transfer to a bowl and allow to cool.

Once the onion, garlic and spinach are pretty much tepid, add the ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan, egg, basil and a good whack of salt and pepper, and stir to combine.

To assemble, pour marinara sauce in the bottom of a baking dish and stir through the chilli flakes. Stuff each shell with the cheese mixture and place randomly in the baking dish. Repeat the process until the pasta and/or cheese is all used up.

Dot with any remaining cheese mixture, sprinkle with a little extra parmesan and transfer to the oven to bake for 30 minutes. Or until gloopy and glorious.

Leave to rest for five minutes before serving and devouring. Triumphantly like an icon.

 

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