Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 9 queens from around the globe booked their tickets to the UK for the first franchise-crossing battle. Kinda like the Avengers for the gays or Ultimate Girls Trip for performers. And let’s just say, it started with a bang as Jimbo, Pangina and Janey demolished the first half of the season and put their little franchises on the map. Tragically, however, they went back-to-back-to-back, leaving four of the five Ru girls in the cast to make it to the finale in the form of Juju, Baga, Blu and Mo Heart. And despite Mo being Mo and Blu being Blu, the little doll that could from Northern Ireland won the lip sync for the crown and found herself the inaugural Queen of the Mothertucking World.

Not to be confused with the Queen of the Motherpucking World.

First to make their triumphant return this go around is the icon of UK Season 2, Tia Kofi, who was puzzled by being invited back despite the fact she is a killer confessionalist. She was joined by Down Under’s own Hannah Conda and yeah, she is ready to have some fun this year and I look forward to her kicking it in the dick once more. Arantxa rang in her own arrival from Spain, literally, giving charm, fun and yes, I am here for everything about her. Arantxa quickly opened up about coming out as trans since her OG season before a very hard pivot into talking about the fact she is not actually sure whether Ru exists. Which is relatable. Mayhem Miller was next to arrive, questioning why she opted to come back, even though we know she just wants to bring the party.

Next up, Choriza bought the sausage to represent the UK with a little of her heart left in Spain. Oh and she is vibing for her own glow up and is ready to thrive, giving Nadja from What We Do In The Shadows energy. La Grande Dame gave the most iconic entry of all time, screaming France. And yeah, Ru is going to love her because she is stupid. While also being so damn gorgeous. Marina Summers came in representing the Philippines and given she looks like that, and is ready to chop the colonizers, I am here for everything about her. JB is once again in the house and is still a delusional delight, so werk queen. They were joined by Holland’s own Keta Minaj and hot damn, I forgot how hot she was. Choke me daddy, etc. Scarlet Envy arrived dripping in red, ready to act up a storm, turn tricks and grab a crown. All while being the drama. And then rounding out the cast was the UK’s very own Porkchop, Gothy Kendoll – roar – looking more expensive than 50P.

As the dolls kikied, a surprise 12th queen was unveiled as Raven stomped the runway. Though after she realised Jujubee was missing, she stepped aside and instead introduced RuPaul before going back to her home backstage. For the non Ru girls, they were overwhelmed to finally get in front of the mother of the franchise, as she assured them it would be a fair playing field for all. Despite how last season made it look. After recapping the rules – top two lip sync for the win and eliminate one of the bottom queens – she then gagged them by announcing that for the first time in UK herstory, the winner would bag herself 50,000 pounds. She then added that for their first maxi challenge, they would be performing in the Queens’ Variety Show before disappearing to hang with Raven and Michelle.

The dolls finally made it to the Werk Room where Hannah was gagged by the sheer size of it – obviously – before they grabbed their bags, found a station and began de-dragging. Hannah caught up with Marina, La Grande Dame, Keta and Jonbers, asking if the money changed the way they were planning to play the game. On the other side of the room, Team USA were busy gossiping, with Mayhem not sure about anyone’s name, as Scarlet marvelled at how good Hannah looked. Though admitted everyone looked good. Well, almost everyone, as she looked Mayhem up and down.  Hannah and La Grande Dame were quickly became friends, while Arantxa, Marina and Keta were bonding over being the sole girls of their franchises and hoping to find a way to have fun and give themselves. Team UK quickly locked in an alliance before they realised they only had one challenge win between them. Which is ironic. Even more so, since they found it so funny. Assuming it proves that personality clearly took them far.

Which Gothy giggled at, given she is literally the Porkchop of UK.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone buzzing as they split up to get prepared for the talent show. With Tia continuing to be the most relatable, hoping it isn’t just 11 lip syncs, as that is always boring. Keta and Marina, meanwhile, were looking forward to representing their countries and putting Filipino and Dutch drag on the map. Hannah was excited to do her first talent show, while Mayhem was just hoping to not forget the lyrics to her performance like she did during her first one. She opened up to Hannah about how she has had to pivot her drag style due to long COVID, so the dolls may be surprised by her number. While Hannah assured her she is confident she will kick it in the dick, given she is an icon who essentially runs L.A. That being said, she may be an icon, but the colloquialisms of our fair country seem to have confused her, as she wondered how a kick to the dick could possibly be a good thing. Jonbers and Scarlett meanwhile admitted they were planning to give Ru all the comedy, knowing that is key to making it far.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by honorary gay icon Richard E. Grant as Choriza opened the Queens’ Variety Show with all the energy as she gave a very Spanish lip sync to her original song. Which was kinda like Adriana from Real Housewives of Miami, but gayer and more fun. Scarlet meanwhile did a little boudoir song and dance about dishing out bad advice and lies, which was so fun and cute. La Grande Dame’s talent was hard to describe, as she gave weird noises and beats, bad dancing and then a runway and yeah, it was stunning. Like, so demented and so stunning. Gothy meanwhile lip synced to an original song before offering a literal glow up as she danced with and ate fire. Shocking even herself in the process. Marina then brought down the house with a stunning lip sync to her own song. She hit every line, she vogued, she twirled ribbons and the song was a legitimate bop. So yeah, just hand her the win, ok?

Keta gave a demented Alice in Wonderland performance which was trippy perfection before lip syncing, flipping and giving reveal after reveal. And even gymnastics. And it was special, k? Mayhem then gave the polar opposite, giving a comedic guided meditation. That is until she started giggling at the second joke and straight up forgot the rest of her lines. Hannah then gave legit talent, tickling the ivories and singing live and hot damn, when did she become charming? Oh, wait, the piano was a fake out. Though the song and singing were great, so well done. Jonbers then gave a song about fashion, like Milk’s talent, if Milk was funny. Arantxa meanwhile played into the fact nobody can say her name with a dream state orgasm while lying on the pit crew as she called everyone idiots. And yeah, I love it. Tia then sang live too and honestly, it was a bop. I mean, aside from Mayhem, was this just good across the board?

On the Queen and Country runway, Scarlet did an ode to Drop Dead Gorgeous with the Mount Ru-shmore headpiece and yeah, give her a win for that alone, TBH. Keta was perfect as a milk maid who can milk me, right now, please. She then revealed an Indonesian witch and yeah, Holland is always going to give us everything. Jonbers meanwhile served slutty leprechaun, complete with a clover headpiece, Arantxa was a delightfully pink flamenco doll that you sit on the TV, apparently. Tia meanwhile served her first stunning look as she rocked a glamorous gown combining her Nigerian and UK roots.

Marina was perfection in a glamorous rice farmer inspired look, Choriza served Ru Britannia as a knight and Mayhem gave Lady Liberty, serving all the curves. Gothy was then adorable as she served King’s Guard, while also clearly being in awe of the fact she was invited back for a second go. La Grande Dame was perfection in a gown of a frog killed by the Eiffel Tour. Before Hannah gave a Priscilla inspired frill-neck lizard, which showcased first nations artists and called for a treaty. Once again reminding us she has learnt and grown from her past mistakes.

Keta, Jonbers, Arantxa, Tia and Hannah were deemed safe and sent to the back of the stage before the judges read Scarlet for not giving enough in the performance, given the idea was solid. Though they loved the look. Marina received wall to wall praise for literally everything she served; killer looks, high energy performance perfection and even some casual education about how rice grows for Alan. Choriza’s energy was praised for opening the show so strongly and they loved that she gave such a camp, gorgeous look. Mayhem, obviously, was read for flubbing literally all the lines in her talent show, though they lived for her runway. Gothy meanwhile was praised for such a strong glow up, though they felt she still wasn’t confident enough. Particularly not to make fire dancing work. Though they lived for her look. While La Grande Dame received wall to wall praise for being so stupid and so polished and oh so perfect. And that isn’t even taking into account how strong her runway was.

Obviously Marina and La Grande Dame were announced as the top two of the week before Choriza and Scarlet were sent to safety, leaving Mayhem and Gothy up for elimination. As the dolls ventured backstage to untuck, they grabbed their drinks and toasted Marina and Dame for landing on the top. Or kicking it in the dick, if you will. Scarlet meanwhile checked in on Mayhem, who had a good attitude about being in the bottom, realising that laughing at herself straight up cost her. Gothy on the other hand was worried about being in the bottom in the first episode two seasons in a row, before the winner’s asked for one on one time with their bottoms.

Marina caught up with Mayhem, who quickly pointed out her performance wasn’t bad, she just made mistakes. Which I guess is the only argument she really could make, so werk. When Marina didn’t seem open to saving her, however, Mayhem floated the idea of an alliance and vowed to help her make it to the end. Grande Dame meanwhile was checking how Gothy was feeling, with her disappointment for the repeat bottom, as La Grand Dame admitted she actually enjoyed her performance. Despite losing an eyelash to the flame. She then went for the emotion, pointing out that Mayhem has so much experience and should know better, while this is her second episode ever of Drag Race. The safe girls questioned how the top girls were planning to play it, as Mayhem took her alliance proposition over to La Grande Dame and honestly, I feel like neither of the queens are taking it seriously. Gothy meanwhile continued to lean into her heart with Marina, reiterating she knows she needs to give the judges more of herself, but she assured her that she will be able to overcome the nerves and shine.

Marina and La Grande Dame grabbed their lipsticks and headed out the mainstage before doing battle to Dreamer by Livin’ Joy. And as you can imagine, both the dolls absolutely devoured. La Grande Dame served humour and used every inch of her 7 feet to her advantage while Marina was all energy, as she hit every moment of every letter. And as such, Marina rightly took out victory before Mayhem and Gothy took their places on stage and Marina announced that Mayhem would be the Gothy Kendoll of the season. Sparing our sweet underdog and allowing her another chance to shine.

When she arrived backstage, Mayhem was in great spirits, despite her loss, knowing that she straight up lost because she found herself to be too damn funny. Which in itself, is too damn funny. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for coming back for another iconic run. As they may keep getting shorter, but she always manages to leave a mark with whatever time she has. Obviously Mayhem always manages to bring the party, no matter what the situation, she I toasted her icon status and sent her on her way with a deliciously hot Mayham & Cheese Pithivller.

Don’t get your hopes up! Despite the name, this isn’t exactly a fancy dish. Essentially just a textured little pie, this pastry melts in your mouth as the ham and cheese serve perfect French brunch. Second only to La Grand Dame, obvi.

Enjoy!

Mayham & Cheese Pithivller
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
25g butter
25g flour
1 cup milk
salt and pepper, to taste
⅛ tsp nutmeg, finely grated
200g gruyere cheese, grated
2 sheets puff pastry
12 slices ham
1 egg, whisked

Method
Melt the butter in a pan over low heat and once it is starting to foam, whisk in the flour and cook for a couple of minutes, or until it is cohesive and cooked off. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk. Return to the heat, crank up to medium and cook, stirring, until it starts to thicken. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and add a pinch of nutmeg. Fold through half the cheese and stir until melted. Decant into a lined shallow baking dish, cover directly with skin and pop in the fridge to chill.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut the puff pastry into a 20 and a 21 centimetre circle. Pop the smaller one on a lined baking tray. Layer the base with a third of the ham, leaving a 2cm border around the edge. Top with a layer of chilled bechamel, then a third of the cheese. Repeat the process until you’re out of ham and cheese. Brush the edges with the egg and top with the second disc of pastry, pressing the edges of each disc of pastry together to seal. Trim excess pastry from the edges.

Using a knife, gently scallop for creative flair before brushing with egg wash and popping in the oven to bake for 30 minutes, or until golden. Then carve and devour.


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