Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ru mixed things up and threw a ball at the final 11 with the theme celebrating the impending end of the world via global warming, or maybe WWIII that is currently edging nearing. While Monet loved herself sick on the runway, Ru and Michelle didn’t agree, Dusty missed the mark, Asia helped everyone else while Aquaria and Kameron absolutely slayed. Ultimately Aquaria snatched the win while Monet sent my number two thirst trap Dusty Ray Bottoms out of the competition.
The queens ruturned to the werk room where poor Monet wasn’t feeling it and was sad that the NYC numbers have dropped. Cracker asked how Asia felt about helping everyone else at the cost of her own look, with her sharing she felt used and abused by the other girls. Though as Mayhem pointed out, she offered … but since I love Asia I will put it down to her venting her frustrations about looking terrible in front of her idol. Cracker jumped in and told her that gifts are given freely and that maybe people feel she didn’t need help since she is confident. While the queens tried to point out that they were competing, she said she wanted to honour their sisterhood. Though if they do want to compete, it isn’t ending well for them.
As Milk as Celine once said – I assume – a new day has come, and the queens returned to the werk room with tensions between The Vixen and Eureka at an all time high, though the former plans to ignore the latter and starve her of attention. Before putting it to the test, Ru returned to oversee the girls turning themselves into drag army recruits In the words of Alexis Mateo – Miss Vanjie. Miss, Vaaannjie. Miss … Vaaaaaaaaanjjjiiiiieeee – I want you to come on home baby. I’m a fucking drag queen! BAM! Asia looked meh, Aquaria channelled mumma Sharon, Monet channelled me and looked hella drunk, Eureka was thirsty, Mayhem went bridal, Miz obvi brought personality, Monique honoured Trinity with a tight Tuck, Blair looked like a kindy kid playing dress-up, The Vixen had a killer storyline and Kameron, obvi, was amazing. The Vixen took out the win, handing her the opportunity to pair up the queens for an improv challenge where they will be extreme guests on the new daytime talk show Bossy Rossy.
But seriously, listen to Sally Jesse and let’s turn this into a real show, okkkkkkkuuuuuuuuurrr?
The Vixen obviously used her powers wisely, snatching Asia for herself and pairing up Blair and Monique, Monet and Kameron and Cracker and Mayhem, leaving her two nemeses Eureka and Aquaria to self-combust. Monet and Kameron were slated to appear on the episode titled ‘My Freaky Addiction is Ruining My Life!’, The Vixen and Asia will tackle ‘Why You So Obsessed With Me?’, Blair and Monique got ‘I Married A Cactus’, Aquaria and Eureka got lucky with the ‘Look At Me! I’m A Sexy Baby!’ episode while Cracker and Mayhem were tasked with ‘Save Me From My Deadly Fear Of … Pickles!’
Asia and The Vixen got to werk with Asia nervous they will either slay or completely bomb, with no in between. The Vixen shared that she tried to be fair with the pairs, though deliberately set up Eureka and Aquaria to fail. Hard. Sadly they seemed to doing well while she and Asia discovered their character descriptions echoed the drama between Miz Cracker and Aquaria, leading to them leaning into the joke and playing their fellow queens which you KNOW is not going down well. Monet wasn’t loving being paired with Kameron giving how quiet she is, though they seemed to be cute together. Cracker decided she would relish – get it – the role of being Dr Dill the pickle, while Eureka just hoped Mayhem could bring it. Blair and Monique were working well together, deciding on Vanjie as a safe word so they can keep each other in check and share the limelight. Bless them. Meanwhile Asia pulled Monet aside to get some T on Aquaria and Miz Cracker to flesh out their storyline, with Monet living for the drama that will ensue.
The queens arrived at the set of the Bossy Rossy Show where Blair and Monique brought it as two women fucking the same cactus and finishing with vanjie screaming fight. Monet arrived to share about her passion for eating hip pads, while Kameron stole the show as a panty sniffing addict. Next up were Mayhem and Cracker, with Mayhem selling the typical talk show host guest though like Monet, was completely owned by Miz Cracker. The copycat copycat-ers The Vixen and Asia arrived with The Vixen struggling from start, breaking character when she even had one. While Asia lifted the energy, a wig reveal couldn’t save them as The Vixen just ran off stage mid-scene. Despite being punished by being paired together, Aquaria and Eureka absolutely slayed the show shading Valentina and breaking down after discovering they shared a man and tantrumed like their lives depended on it.
Elimination Day rolled around with Cracker hoping someone botches the runway to make it clear who is in danger. Monet was questioning herself though lived for sharing the drama re The Vixen and Asia shading Aquaria and Miz Cracker. Asia asked if The Vixen had cleared the air with Eureka and Aquaria, with The Vixen hoping to start a line of T-shirts with her ‘don’t poke the bear catch-phrase.’ Mayhem took the time to hear what The Vixen’s issues are before working to clear the air between Eureka and The Vixen. Against all odds, Mayhem helped them both open up and explain why they behave the way they do … and it was really heartwarming. Bless fucking Mayhem.
On the Denim and Diamonds runway – with extra special guest judges Carrie Preston and Shania Twain – Monet looked cute with big hair … to boot, Kameron brought sexy Dolly realness, The Vixen brought denim elegance, Asia channeled Mad Max, Aquaria had a damn denim fan, Eureka channeled Elvis, Blair was adorable, Monique brought the sex, Mayhem gave us a pop of colour with a pink Opry inspired look … only to be shown up by Miz Cracker with her pink jumpsuit clad moron Pippi Longstockings look. Asia, Blair, Kameron and Aquaria were safe before Ru gave Kameron the chance to talk to his idol Shania who thanked her for inspiring him as a child and starting him on the journey to being a drag queen. I’ve said it way too many times to count, but Kameron is the fucking sweetest and I love her. When she gets airtime, obvi.
Michelle obviously felt Monet’s look was a miss and the judges feeling she didn’t go for her character on Bossy Rossy. The Vixen’s outfit was loved while her performance in the challenge was read for filth. Eureka received universal praise on both counts, the judges loved Monique – and they threw out another Miss Vanjie reference – Mayhem’s look was read for filth though they felt she held back in the challenge. Miz Cracker’s outfit and challenge performance were beloved, particularly all the weird puns. Once again poor Cracker was pipped at the post with Eureka taking out victory in the challenge. Monique was also safe leaving The Vixen, Monet and Mayhem in the bottom three, with The Vixen scraping through by the skin of her teeth while the other girls were tasked with lip syncing to Man! I Feel Like A Woman.
Once again Monet slayed, immediately doing a cheeky wig reveal, riding an invisible motorbike, dying her hair and air guitaring, with poor Mayhem not even able to save herself with a cartwheel. While she was sad to be exiting the competition so early, she was proud to just have made it and proved herself what she can do. Though how could you see it any other way when you’re sitting down to a big bowl of Mayhem Milanese Risotto.
Creamy and delicately flavoured, there is nothing better than a milanese risotto. Plus it is the perfect storm of being super tasty AND super simple. What more could you ask for?
Nothing. The answer is nothing. So enjoy!
Mayhem Milanese Risotto
1L chicken stock
1 tsp saffron threads
2 onions, diced
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 ½ cups arborio rice
½ cup dry vermouth
¾ cup grated parmesan, plus extra to top
salt and pepper, to taste
Bring the stock and saffron to a boil in a medium saucepan before reducing to a gentle simmer to keep warm.
Meanwhile heat a lug of olive oil and a knob of butter in a dutch oven over low heat and sweat the onion and garlic for ten minutes or so. Add the rice and cook for five minutes, or until they become translucent.
Add the vermouth and cook stirring until it is all absorbed. Working one ladle at a time, add the stock, stirring constantly and adding more once it is absorbed. Once all the stock has absorbed stir through the parmesan, season well and serve immediately.
Devouring, though being careful of the heat.
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