Porchettarina

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España 12 new queens entered the Werk Room, ready to slay. Tragically though, not everyone could stick around – this isn’t All Winners, or half of the season 13 and 14 episodes – as Marisa, Ariel, Samantha, Jota, Onyx, Diamante, Sethlas and Juriji exited. At the top four, the dolls madeover older members of the LGBTQIA+ community and while Sharonne and Venedita slayed – with the latter winning her second challenge – Estrella and Marina didn’t shine as brightly and landed in the bottom. Thankfully though, Supremme knew that all four were worthy of a place in the final, keeping both of them around to battle their sisters for the crown. But first, they all had to get back together!

Supremme kicked off the reunion welcoming the dolls back to the Mainstage to talk shit about the season. Oh, and to crown their Miss Congeniality. But more importantly Yara Sofia sent in a video message to send them her love and praise them on a killer season, followed by Samantha Hudson at the salon mid-bleaching, sweet old icon Karina who I sadly hadn’t heard of before the show and Manila Luzon who gave up on speaking Spanish after the first sentence. And well, needless to say all the dolls were touched. Particularly Onyx, who was thrilled by Manila’s message about not needing a crown to win. Because, duh, she is a sexy icon.


We then got a series of recaps of each of the top four’s journeys and while everyone clearly slayed the game this season, if Marina’s full frontal doesn’t take the crown, it has to go to Sharonne, right? Or did I just jinx her? In any event, Estrella was thrilled to narrowly make it through to the final as was Marina, while Sharonne admitted the last few weeks of the competition were truly stressful and emotional, whether you were in the top or on the bottom. Being a humble icon, when Supremme inferred it was obvious she was making it to the end, she spoke about the fact the competition is all about luck and she got lucky that the judges liked all that she had to offer. While Venedita was glad to get a win just before the finale and have that confidence boost going into the final challenge.

That was followed by a filler segment watching the eliminated queens audition tapes and well, the production values were on point but yeah, it was all filler. Except for the fact we learnt Drag Sethlas has a tonne of money because her outfits were on point and looked expensive.

Talk turned to Estrella and Samantha being stupid, fun and/or loud in the Werk Room, and while some of their sisters lived for it Ariel felt they kinda took a lot of air out of the room and made it hard for the quieter girls to shine. And well, Ariel Rec is hot and I love her, so I accept her take as gospel. Despite loving the madness her sisters brought to the show. Everyone turned their attention to Jota’s penchant for lies and exaggeration, with her reading them for saying she lies when she simply embellishes her stories. Though the Lola Flores shawl she said she owns is definitely Lola Flores’, despite what her sisters have to say. When it came to talking about Diamante and her potential lies about having no sewing skills despite turning an epic look, everyone was a little more open to believing her.

We finally turned our attention to the epic feud between Marina and Juriji, which importantly centred on Marina’s penchant for gross farts. While Juriji was happy to talk it through and resolve things, Marina wasn’t really looking to move on given she felt very disrespected by Juriji at that moment and she isn’t sure how to talk about it. Juriji admitted she too felt disrespected during their fight, but even that didn’t seem to make her want to resolve things. Particularly when they had to talk about their feud when Sethlas teamed up with Marina, because it only made Marina angrier at her sister. Despite Juriji explaining that she felt she has never fit in and them telling her she was the weakest was a trigger to her.

Before recapping the looks of the season Pedro ma’tuckin’ Almodovar sent the dolls a message praising them for their runways dedicated to him. And admitted he shared the videos far and wide in the fashion world and ugh. Is Spain the prime franchise, now?

Supremme then tasked the eliminated queens with stomping the runway in a look they couldn’t show with Marisa opting for a killer art look, shagadelic and dedicated to Picasso. By way of the loom. Ariel slayed as a smurf cleaner to a queer superhero, while Samantha rocked a TV, Jota mashed up neon ballet with latex rocker gimp, Onyx was a sexy flapper vampire, Diamante came out of the closet as houndstooth and Sethlas was a showgirl charity pin. Ultimately the queen that won the Best Lost Look sash was first boot Marisa and well, it’s what she deserves.

They then gave another prize for the Hungriest Queen, with this time only Estrella and Juriji eligible for the prize. Though obviously that one was going to Estrella, who found a way to work eating into any and all challenges. Talk turned to who should win the season with everyone pleading their case before the queens voted and were split between Estrella, Venedita and Sharonne. And since this reunion is starting to feel like election coverage, we then finally learnt who the queens voted as their Miss Congeniality of the season – Samantha Ballentines! And well, wasn’t she thrilled to get some 1-on-1 time with the zaddy Pit Crew who delivered the sash!

As the exited the mainstage, I quickly pulled Marina aside to give her some late breaking sustenance and encouragement ahead of the final challenge. How lucky is she to be next in the alphabet after Estrella! While my favourite moment of hers from the season was due to my aggressive thirst – free the peen! – she also slayed from start to finish, giving a polished collection of creative runways and also shining in the roast. As such, I carved her off a chunk of Porchettarina and toasted her success.

There is honestly nothing better than a perfectly cooked porchetta. Sweet and juicy meat, melting away in your mouth with a hearty crust of crackling and a delicate punch of herbaceous garlicky heaven? Swoon.

Enjoy!

Porchettarina
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1.5kg pork belly, boneless
1 tbsp fennel seeds
2 tsp black peppercorns
8 cloves garlic
½ tsp kosher salt, plus extra for salting
10 sage leaves, finely chopped
2 tsp chilli flakes
1 tbsp olive oil

Method
Start by scoring both the skin and meat side of the pork belly to form a cross hatching.

Meanwhile, toast the fennel seeds in a dry, medium-heat frying pan until nice and fragrant before popping into a mortar and pestle alongside the peppercorns, garlic and salt until it forms a paste. Transfer to a bowl and mix through the sage, chilli and oil.

Rub the paste over the meat side of the pork and then roll to form a log and using kitchen string, tie it along the meat in intervals to secure. Transfer to a roast pan with a rack and aggressively rub the skin with the additional sea salt. Transfer to a fridge for 8 hours or so to allow the skin to dry. I may have cut a corner here, which is why we’re missing out on glorious crackling.

When you’re ready to go, preheat the oven to 220°C and rub the excess salt off the skin. Transfer to the oven and cook for 20 minutes before reducing heat to 150°C and cooking for 2 hours.

Depending on how the crackling has gone, you could then crank the oven back up to 220°C for ten minutes for a final crisp, or pop it under a hot grill for five minutes. But ideally, that shouldn’t be necessary.

Rest for ten minutes or so before removing the string, slicing and most importantly, devouring.


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Porchetthan Zohndsiwch

Main, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor: Africa, Survivor: All Stars, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Natalie continued to grow her portfolio of Fire Tokens despite being the first boot, finding the second advantage – to leave tribal before the votes are cast, thus making the person immune – and selling it to her ally Jeremy. Making her the richest person in the game and one step closer to an advantage in the return challenge. In desperate need of a challenge advantage was Sele, who once again were destroyed at the immunity challenge and sending them back to tribal council. After Danni grew nervous about her place in the old school alliance, she started to scramble and run her mouth, outing the aforementioned alliance in the process. Her paranoia only grew at tribal council, leading to the tribe banding together to oust her from the game and put her out of her misery.

We returned to Sele the next morning where Boston Rob was pranking Adam awake, I assume missing having his kids around and bonding with one of the youngest on the tribe. Adam shared that despite Danni’s unanimous vote thanks to Rob and his fellow old schoolers Ethan and Parvati turning on her, the tribe is still very much split between the oldies and the new school players. Though Adam knows that Boston Rob likes to feel like he is in control of the game, and as such, he needs to change things up and play a bit more like Adam. Adam and his ego caught up with Denise to discuss potentially taking a shot at one of the big guns. Aka Parvati. While Denise was nervous about upsetting her two closest allies, she was feeling mildly confident given she was willed Danni’s fire token and Adam returned the other half of her idol to her, giving her control of a complete one.

With the plan casually outlined, Adam went to Michele and Ben to float the idea of targeting the iconic Parvati. Ben was keen to start working against Rob, while Michele was open to taking out Parvati given she is cutthroat and will strike soon enough. And she was confident that while he will be butthurt, he has no other options and as such, will need to come around. Next on his list, Adam approached Ethan to float the idea of getting rid of Parvati and while he knew it was a risky move, he knew he had to loop him in to keep him on side. Apparently. Ethan however was ropeable, given Parvati is his number one and he vowed to never turn on her.

Meanwhile over at Dakal Sandra was mixing up her game by filling the provider role. As she put it, this is her fifth time out there and is her farewell tour – please be a lie – so she may as well catch some fish to keep people onside. Off she went to cast a net in the shallows during low tide and while they lay in wait, Tyson shared how odd it was to be on the outs in his tribe. As such, he decided to try and turn the tribe against Sandra as an easy vote. He approached Yul and Sophie, and while Yul agreed that Sandra stirring the pot all the time was dangerous to his game, he changed his tune the next day when Sandra caught a baby shark in the shallows proving that she can be a provider and keeps life positive around camp. With that Yul pulled Sandra aside to let her know that Tyson was gunning for her, pissing her off and vowing to get rid of him first.

At the Edge of Extinction Danni was also trying to become the provider, spear fishing in the shallows and trying to remind herself that she isn’t out yet. The ladies were interrupted from their fishing by treemail, directing them towards a tree on the top of the hill featuring a locked box with a sign that told them that they already have all the information that they need. Amber scurried back to camp to search for things with numbers written on them to test the locks. While it was a logical theory, she proved incorrect which gave Natalie enough time to realise that the combination was a series of shells on the string attached to treemail. After tossing away one of the other clues and ruining the second, Natalie bolted back to the bo, unlocked it and discovered directions to a vote steal advantage which she could sell to someone for a fire token. She weighed up the options, knowing that she had to pick someone that would be willing to take a risk to ensure her third fire token, which would make her the richest person in the game.

We returned to Dakal where Tyson and Tony were still discussing the shark while Sarah discovered a note in her bag, which told her that the steal a vote would be hidden in the torch of someone on the other tribe. And she would need to go grab it tonight, under the cover of darkness. While she was nervous about everything that could go wrong, she knew she couldn’t pass up the opportunity, so handed over her fire token and enlisted Tony to help cover for her. That night Tony grabbed ashes to smear over her face and when it didn’t work, they spat in it to make it stick and honestly, these two are like watching kids play. And I think I love it. Meanwhile at Sele Ethan was putting another log on the fire as Sarah approached. Luckily for her he went straight back to sleep while she crawled around camp in the pitch black before she finally found the torches on the side of camp. She nervously stood up and while she was snapping twigs and making an almighty racquet, she found the advantage and made it out of camp unnoticed.

Jeffrey arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where they would have to leap across ramp walls, dig up a ladder, use the ladder to grab a rope, toss said rope up to a platform, scale it and then, wait for it, solve a puzzle. Oh and the winning tribe would also get some chicken kebabs for good measure. As is becoming habit Dakal got out to an early lead, whipping through the physical part of the challenge and giving Sophie and Sarah a huge lead on the puzzle. Sadly for them, it was the famed tree puzzle which meant the lead was quickly eaten up, giving Rob and Michele hope. The two tribes went back and forth with the lead until they both came down to two pieces each after Sarah and Sophie knocked out two pieces while trying to put the last in. Rob and Michele tried to slot in the final piece before they could recover but the girls kept their cool, popped them back in and claimed immunity yet again. Begging the question, is Denise still cursed?

Back at camp Sele sat around the camp in silence, too scared to be the first one to make a move and potentially make themselves a target. Sick of waiting, Jeremy broke the stand off and walked away, leading to Ben and Denise quickly following him out of camp. Ben quickly locked in the plan to get rid of Parvati, given she is the most dangerous player in the game. Ben then filled Adam in on Adam’s own plan before Adam pulled Rob aside to see if he would be willing to flip on Parvati. Adam was hoping that the truth would keep him safe with Rob and while Rob seemed open to the idea, he immediately took the information to Michele and Jeremy and told them that Adam told him about the Parvati plot. While they tried to pretend it wasn’t the case, Rob steamrolled through their denials to get them to lock in a plan for Adam. Rob then got Parvati on board while Michele and Jermey quickly tried to come up with a plan B.

Michele thought that breaking up the trio was the most pressing situation, she was annoyed that Adam had spilt the plan and as such, considered getting rid of him instead. Michele decided that voting out Parvati was now too risky and would upset Rob and as such, getting rid of Ethan may be the smartest move. She approached Denise and Ben to catch them up before sharing that whatever happens at tribal council tonight will be because she and Jeremy wanted that to happen. Oh and that she totally deserved her win and haters need to back off.

At tribal council Ben spoke about the stand off after the challenge, which Jeremy added was because they thought they were cohesive after the Danni vote and the loss proved that they weren’t. Ethan agreed that it is hard to be united and as such, people are looking out for themselves and the people that they are working with. Adam spoke about the fact that the overlap of alliances makes it hard for any vote to be neat, and that someone else will always be annoyed. Michele likened it to dating, highlighting the importance of trusting your gut and going with what feels right.

Rob agreed that trust is important, though inherently nobody should trust anyone. Parvati pointed out that she is one of the targets tonight and while people are talking about options, she has none, given she came in as one of the most respected winners and few people want to work with her. Adam agreed that reputations make it harder for people like Parvati, or Rob, who straight up has a statue dedicated to him on another island. Rob was annoyed that Adam was reminding everyone that Rob and Parvati are on the Mount Rushmore of Survivor, while Ben tried to pretend he never had allies on Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers, despite being aligned until he blew it up. Denise admitted that there was bedlam after tribal council and everyone was going to everyone to find a plan that they were open to. Ethan spoek about the fact that he is trying to play things one day at a time as he doesn’t want to plan ahead if he can’t even get there.

With that the tribe voted and while I am thrilled that Parvati saved herself yet again, it came at the cost of Zaddy Ethan and that breaks my heart. In. To. A. Million. PIECES. I mean, I loved the look of confusion on Adam’s face when Ethan rather than Parvati was voted out but I would happy have not had that hilarity for just one more day of Ethan in the main game.

Like with Danni before him, Ethan found me behind the fire token exchange table, following the sound of my Kim Kardashian ugly cry. He picked me up as my legs trembled beneath me and pulled me in for a hug. With one arm holding me steady and the other warmly holding my head to his chest, he let me sob for eternity. And while it didn’t matter to him how long we hugged, only wanting me to be ok, the Extinction boat driver continuously coughed and tapped his watch to try and break it up. As such, the producer pulled him away as I screamed and reached for him, only managing to slip an Porchetthan Zohndsiwch in his bag.

 

 

Gloriously salty pork, nutty, creamy cheese and the zingy punch of mustard and rocket work perfectly to fill you with joy, even when you are at your lowest. Plus, there is crackling and crackling solves all problems.

Enjoy!

 

 

Porchetthan Zohndsiwch
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
1 ciabatta, cut into sandwich sized lengths and split in half
2 tbsp dijon mustard
4 slices Swiss cheese
6 slices of porchetta
1 cup rocket

Method
I know assembling a sandwich hardly counts as a recipe, however I have lived a life this week – RIP Phoebe, Flick and now Zaddy Ethan – so I needed something simple enough to throw together through tears.

Soooo, to assemble, smear the bread with the mustard, layer a couple of slices of cheese on the base, top with piping hot pork on top and the rocket.

Close, devour and return to the game like the precious angel you are Ethan!

 

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