Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

The time loop is the real chokey 

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I keep casually dropping that I am still plugging away at this ‘ere patch of cyberspace, fishing for praise like a low-rent E.T. But alas, people are yet to hit me up in the comments to praise my triumphant and pretty-much consistent return.

But maybe the knowledge that Tim Minchin is dropping by this week will change things. Given his own penchant for writing things based on other written works, like Matilda and Groundhog Day.

The latter of which, I guess, is technically not written text. Though it was written, you know?

What do I make a fellow celebrated writer from Australian with what could only be described as interesting hair choices?

Image source: Californication.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

I die

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Can you believe? This week is about to get completely bananas as my girl Rachel Zoe is super keen to drop by for a date.

Yes noughties trolls, she loves to eat so shut it down.

I first met Rach while attending college in D.C. and encouraged her to join the fashion world, with the promise that I will support her as her assistant. Seeing where she has gone, I’m sure you can agree that I kills’ed it in that regard

What do I make for one of my dearest friends?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

A royal(ish) affair

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Given I have been back for five weeks now, I decided it was high time I celebrate my success with a little bit of pomp and circumstance. And given most of the top tier royals are busy or busy feuding, I opted to reach out to my dearest Zara Phillips.

That being said, while Zara doesn’t have the status of being one of Chuckie’s kids or even a child of one of her uncles – fuck patriachy – that is really a blessing, as she is sweet, down to earth and thankfully can live a real life.

Plus – it means she can drop by on record as the first blood relative of Lizzie without fear of retribution.

What do I make worthy of that honour and the icon that is Zara?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

My favourite screamer

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Can you believe I’m still kicking along after close to a month back on – or off, I don’t know – the wagon of documenting my celebrity dates?

No? Me neither.

I mean, I welcomed a new nephew last week – which is always time consuming when you’re bound to be their favourite – and am working through the trauma of the Ekka is in town and seeing a rooster on a footpath next to the Brisbane River, so the fact that I am still awake and coherent is a shock to even me.

Thankfully when I was at my lowest point yesterday, I received a call from my dear friend Keke Palmer suggesting she come right over to give me a pep and keep focused on sharing my celebrity life with you.

That made me think of three things, a) Is she psychic, b) can I love her any more and c) what the hell am I going to make TV’s reigning scream queen?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Once Upon a Time on … the Goldy

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I hope that you’re as shocked as I am that I have now gone three weeks in a row consistently documenting my celebrity catch-ups slash commiseration cooking for reality losers.

And while my triumphant return needed one of my most iconic friends on board – love you Ames – and week two called for a steamy date with my beloved Sterling, I wanted week three to feel a little bit more like home. Which is why the divine Margot Robbie is dropping by this week.

Marg and I have known each other for well over fifteen years, after growing up together on the Gold Coast. Fun fact: coming from the Gold Coast legally requires you to aggressively talk about being from the Gold Coast whenever you aren’t on the Gold Coast. But that is another story for another time.

What says I am not angry that I wasn’t invited to the Once Upon a Time in … Hollywood premiere – Quentin is a few months away from dropping my restraining order, I feel it – slash can you finally get me a job on Neighbours?

Image source: Neighbours / Channel 10.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Sterling K. Brown looking beautiful in This Is Us.

I wish this was just us

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Do I have good news for you? Not only have I managed to stick around for a second consecutive week, my dear friend Sterling K. Brown is also making himself available for a quick pre-This Is Us season 4 commencement date.

While most people met and instantly fell in love with Sterl in American Crime Story, I’ve known and loved him since his appearance in the little watched Tarzan series in the early noughts.

I was dating Travis Fimmel at the time – and also part of Lucy Lawless’ entourage – but I was completely blown away by Sterl’s talent. And as is oft the case, I vowed to make him a star.

Given he ending up starring as the son of my dear friends Milo and Mandy, I think you can tell that I was successful. What do I make for my hot, hot friend?

Image source: This Is Us / NBC.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders 2019 cast prior to commencing the game, being voted out and having food smeared over their faces.

2 champs, 2 chumps, Tokyo drift etc.

Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

So it turns out that my return to this anthropological patch of cyberspace once again coincides with the return of Australian Survivor.

Call it fate, a passion for documenting my thirst thanks to Australian Survivor’s liberal stance on nudity – come through David, Shaun and Matt – Sue’s big move or JLP’s guns, but I just don’t know how to quit heading out to a tropical island to provide culinary comfort to reality television losers.

While I am still salty about not being asked to lead the Champions tribe – for the second year in a row – the chance to support and shade in equal measure is a responsibility I do not take lightly. Plus, between Locky in 2017, and last year’s Contender boys and Grubby, they really offer up too much nudity to say no to.

So buckle in, sit back and enjoy the ride to find out who will follow in the footsteps of Shane Gould and prove not to be fucked with. And check back tomorrow to find out who will become the first boot.

Image source: Nigel Wright / TEN.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

So I’m a little bit late this Mon-dee

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

So remember that other time (or two) I said I wouldn’t disappear without a trace for months ever again? Well it happened. But bear with me, ok?

It was all an elaborate plan to fool you into thinking I was on Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders II as a Champion blogger/chef/internet celebrity/philanthripist/ventriloquist/triple threat/model/international lifestyle brand. But alas, nobody even speculated about my inclusion.

Conveniently that long con also coincided with a time in my life where I was struggling and needed to take a step back. My beloved, adorably sassy puppy passed away after an all too brief life and I didn’t want to run the risk of dealing with hate – looking at you, Tyra Sanchez and she who shall not be named – when I lost the unconditional love and high-fives of a 2kg puppy.

Anyway, last week I reached out to global icon Amy Sedaris to congratulate her on her latest Emmy nomination which quickly turned into a pep talk.

“Ben. BEN,” she screeched in her best Mimi Kanasis. “Sweetheart, you need to get back on the internet thing you say isn’t a blog but is clearly just a blog.”

“The anthropological study?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I love you, illiteracy is hilarious – you know I said that to RuPaul and Michelle that one time – and you need to bring joy to the people by showing them that celebrities make a mess of themselves while eating. We’re like real people.

“I’m on the next plane out, so you better cook up something better than you served David, ok?”

Sooooo, what do I make for my semi-triumphant return?

Image source: TruTV.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

There is no secret, I am (wanting to be Nathan’s South) Africa(n flag speedo)

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets

As you know, Nico Panagio called me in a panic a month ago to see if I’d be interested in cooking for their kicked-off castaways. While I was hesitant when Nico first asked if I would be interested, he showed me the cast photos and their approved wardrobe and I was on the next flight.

Which was awks, since the game didn’t start filming for a month.

But boy did I use my time wisely – when I wasn’t fantasising about time in Pounderosa with Nathan/Dante/Cobus – coming up with a special menu to make them all feel at home whilst working past their crushing defeats.

Or inspired win.

Who will be joining me first?

Image source: M-Net.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Chickenico Panangio Curry

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Main, Poultry, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Another international version of Survivor with a hot host – hi Jeff, Jono and Matt! – is begging for me to head to the filming location to provide culinary comfort for their crushed castaways.

Yes, Nico Panagio has finally reached out to me to see if he could leverage our close personal relationship to get me out to Samoa for the latest season of Survivor SA.

While I played hard to get for a couple of minutes, I knew there was no way I could say no to such a dear friend. Particularly when they are as hot as Nico and the tropical location is always conducive to some shirtless action.

I’ve known Nico for a couple of years after fleeing to South Africa and trying to break into the entertainment industry over there. While all my scenes were cut from our co starring vehicle Semi-Soet, I couldn’t be too mad given it brought us together.

I invited him over to Australia on his way to Samoa to formally give him my answer, bringing him to tears of joy that I would be joining him on set of Survivor SA over a big vat bowl of delicious Chickenico Panangio Curry.

 

 

Given how delicious this sweet, spicy curry tastes, maybe the tears of joy were related to such a glorious meal? I mean, delicately cooked juicy chicken with the earthy peanuts, a kick of chilli and the zing of lime? There is nothing better.

Enjoy!

 

 

Chickenico Panangio Curry
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
coconut oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 red capsicum, diced
1 yellow capsicum, diced
½ cup panang curry paste
2 tsp chilli paste
2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter
12 kaffir lime leaves
400ml coconut cream
1 cup chicken stock
750g chicken thighs, roughly diced
3 tbsp fish sauce
2 tbsp Thai basil leaves, roughly chopped

Method
Heat a good lug of coconut oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion and garlic for five minutes, or until soft and fragrant. Add the capsicums and cook for a further couple of minutes. Stir in the curry paste, chilli, peanut butter and kaffir lime leaves and cook for a further minute.

Stir through the coconut cream and stock, bring to the boil and add the chicken. Bring back to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer, uncovered, stirring for about 20 minutes, or until the chicken has cooked through and the sauce has thickened up.

Add the fish sauce and cook for a further minute before adding the Thai basil leaves. Remove from heat and serve immediately on a bed of fluffy rice. Then devour, with your favourite, sexiest friend.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.