Maryanne Picoketchutney

Condiment, Sauce, Survivor, Survivor 42, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor 18 new castaways were marooned on the islands of Fiji, ready to repeat all the tricks of last season. But hot damn did they have more success. Despite tragically losing Jackson before the first immunity challenge, the Ika tribe arrived at tribal council ready to play. Sadly for Zach, that was as far as his game went. More importantly, it also broke Maryanne’s heart as he was the literal embodiment of every white man she has ever loved. We then lost Marya, Jenny and Swati in quick succession, before Daniel blew up his game and set up the demise of Vati post-merge.

Speaking of which, the fake merge cost Lydia her game before Chanelle became the queen of the jury. Ika lost Rocksroy and Tori in a double tribal council before Omar took control by getting rid of Hai and Drea. In turn, that painted a target on his back and got him booted by Maryanne’s epic 3-2-2 play. This then led to Lindsay getting booted before the fire making challenge took out Jonathan, leaving Romeo, Mike and Maryanne to face the jury at final tribal council.

Despite Romeo putting in a strong showing, he came out of the experience with nary a vote while Mike’s subpar performance scored him only one as the jury gave Maryanne a resounding win for not only a game well played, but for dominating final tribal council.

After the cast finished filming the on island reunion, I quickly pulled Maryanne aside to toast her success. While she had a wild yet somehow quiet game at the start, she expertly read the room and was able to reset once she realised how she was being perceived, leading her on a path to greatness. Pulling off some epic moves at the right moments to not only get her to the end, but earn her the win. More importantly, she also was an epic and engaging character that will go down in the pantheon of legends. But for now, we’ll always have Maryanne Picoketchutney.

I always had a fear of the bright yellow pickle that lived in my fridge as a child, but thankfully with time comes wisdom and as an adult, my love affair began. Super tart, a little bit sweet and lightly spice, this is the perfect accompaniment for any occasion. Particularly a win.

Enjoy!

Maryanne Picoketchutney
Makes: 1.5L.

Ingredients
500g cauliflower, cut into small florets
200g zucchini, cut into a fine dice
100g green beans, trimmed and thinly sliced
1 onion, diced
2 tbsp sea salt
600ml malt vinegar
3 tbsp English mustard powder
1 tbsp coriander seeds
2 tbsp yellow mustard seeds
2 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp turmeric
¼ cup plain flour
⅔ cup raw caster sugar
2 bay leaves

Method
Combine the cauliflower, zucchini, beans and onion in a bowl with the salt. Cover and leave to steep at room temperature overnight. In the morning, rinse under cold water and drain.

Whisk 100 ml of vinegar with the mustard powder, coriander, mustard and cumin seeds, turmeric and flour to form a paste.

Combine the rest of the ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat, whisking until the sugar dissolves. Whisk in the mustard mixture and cook for a couple of minutes, or until starting to thicken. Add the drained vegetables and cook for a further couple of minutes.

Ladle the mixture into sterilised jars and seal immediately, storing in a cool dark place until opened. Then devour, immediately.


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Biminestrone Bon Boulash

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 2, Soup, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the top four slayed their final challenge before Ru decided to add one final bit of messiness to the proceedings and eliminated Ellie without a shot at the crown. With that, the newly minted top three took their places on the mainstage and turned out another epic performance as they lip synced for the crown. Despite Tayce obviously slaying from start to finish, however, that was as far as her superior lip syncing skills would take her as she finished as co-runner-up of the season.

Co-runner-up with Bimini, proving to be the gaggiest gag of all the seasons as Lawrence took the crown home to Scotland instead.

By the time Bimini found me backstage, following the sound of my heartbroken tears, I clung to her for dear life, disappointed that her epic run wasn’t rewarded with a crown. She tried to sooth me with assurances that proving herself was more than enough of a win and reminded me I should be as happy for Lawrence as she was.

And well, I am – particularly given you could argue that COVID really killed her momentum and things could have played out if they didn’t have a seven month pause – though that doesn’t take away from the fact Bimini was iconic. And well, if she doesn’t win the first UK All Stars, I will riot.

I have been a friend for Bims for close to a decade now, meeting while studying journalism together so it was so wonderful to see her shine and grow throughout the competition. And while it isn’t the crown that she deserves, a piping hot bowl of Biminestrone Bon Boulash is a close second.

Warming and hearty, this play on Nigella’s green minestrone is delicious. And more importantly, easily converted into a vegan option for our vegan queen. Sweet and fresh, it is the perfect trans-seasonal freshness to get you ready for soup season.

Enjoy!

Biminestrone Bon Boulash
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
3 tbsp garlic oil
1 tsp dried thyme
2 leeks, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
1 potato, diced
1 celery stalk, finely sliced
3 cups frozen peas
a handful of green beans, trimmed and cut into short lengths
2 zucchinis, half-peeled and diced
1L vegetable stock
salt and pepper, to taste
a handful fresh basil leaves
2 tbsp parmesan cheese, grated (or a vegan substitute)
800g canned cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
500g spinach and ricotta tortellini (or a vegan substitute)

Method
Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat and cook the thyme until fragrant. Add the leek, potato and celery, and sweat for about five minutes. Stir in the peas and beans, followed by the zucchini and stock. Pop on a lid, bring to the boil and leave to simmer for about 10 minutes, or until the potato is cooked through. Season to taste.

Take out about 2 cups of vegetables and a little liquid and blitz in a blender with the basil and parmesan – being careful to avoid the steam blowing off the lid – and return to the pan alongside the beans and tortellini. Bring back to the boil and cook until the pasta is tender.

Remove from the heat and leave to rest for ten minutes or so before devouring, while manifesting a crown in Bimini’s near future.


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Sister Blistered Corn and Bean Salad

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 2, Salad, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the top seven were delighted to be put through their paces in Snatch Game where Bimini absolutely destroyed the competition. Completely. While Lawrence and Tia tragically only destroyed the memory of both Miriam Margoles and Mel B, respectively. Obviously Bimini took out her second victory and firmly announced her arrival as a contender, while Tayce’s impersonation of THE Kath Day-Knight cemented her place in every Australian’s heart. As obvious as the tops were, the bottom was just as clear as Lawrence battled Tia for safety and given she already has three badges to her name, promptly sent sweet Tia home.

Backstage the queens toasted to Tia’s delightful performance, while throwing shade about her shoddy looks and penchant for bottoming. A’Whora was also shady about Lawrence getting lucky to face off against Tia before asking the girls to identify who should be the next to go. A’Whora started off saying that it should definitely be Sister, while Sister instead wanted Ellie to go for coasting throughout the competition. With Tayce, quickly taking the sole narrator role in stride without Tia, simply telling one of them to win the next challenge and that the other can go home, because without a badge neither of them stand a chance. The confessional queen is dead, long live the confessional queen.

Things were less tense the next day, with Bimini living for her RuPeter badge pasties and Lawrence sharing that she missed Veronica. Eliciting silence from the other girls. Which A’Whora broke by asking Sister who she plans to copy this week. Sadly before we found out, Ru arrived to put the girls to test with this season’s reading challenge. With 3D glasses, which is weird and I love it. Sister was surprisingly brutal in the best way possible, death threats notwithstanding. Ellie was very rehearsed, but was more mean than shady. Lawrence was a wee bit lighter and a lot more funny. Tayce was cute, A’Whora continued to destroy Sister for copying and joked about Tayce sitting on her face – swoon – before Bimini closed the show being hilarious, smart and as you know, I love her. 

Stan even, like the streaming service. That really should be paying me, no?

Ru rightfully crowned Sister as the winner of the reading challenge before announcing that this week, the queens would be using lockdown loot to make their runways as they turn into lockdown superheroes. And for winning, Sister got an extra 15 seconds to snatch her materials from the pile of hoarded trash. And boy did she make the most of it, stealing literally everything, leaving the other queens with nary more than scraps. Needless to say it was absolute bedlam as they destroyed everything in sight, with A’Whora falling over and Bimini left with nothing more than a pillowcase. Realising that she had nothing, A’Whora decided to go full spy and ventured behind enemy lines to try and charm some items off Sister Sister’s table. Sister’s price was simply some compliments, which A’Whora couldn’t muster, opting to be delightfully shady instead as she tried her best to snatch something. Sadly, with no success.

As Lawrence panicked about working with random materials, Ellie was confident in her abilities given she has used unconventional items to make outfits before. Sister asked whether Lawrence felt she had it in her to beat A’Whora again, while A’Whora and Tayce threw themselves over their items and gossiped. Without making a start. A’Whora was nervous about Tayce in the challenge, but assured us that she wouldn’t be helping Tayce as much in this second design challenge. Bimini meanwhile was in the corner seeing if she could rock toilet paper or foam, when the answer is clearly both.

Thankfully Ru and my dear friend Raven arrived to distract from this potential disaster, with Raven gushing over Ellie’s abilities to beat her mug. A’Whora meanwhile was gushing over Raven before sharing that she will be making an outfit out of a garden hose. Bimini continued her charm campaign, complimenting Raven. She couldn’t, however, sell her concept of Nobbin’ Hood, defender of toilet paper and questioned whether it would be easier to just prep for the lip sync now rather than wait around. Sister meanwhile got make-up tips from Raven before laughing about stealing all of the items and vowing to get a win. And Tayce, oh lord Tayce – she was going to make a gown out of steel wool like Baga Chipz. And that makes me nervous, despite Tayce’s assurance that beauty is pain and she doesn’t care that she may cut up herself rather than the runway.

Oh and Lawrence was still recovering from bottoming and vowed to not repeat the experience. On the show, obviously.

After Ru and Raven departed, we learnt that Tayce had already had to call for medical and was reduced to making her outfit with a cartoon character glove. Meanwhile A’Whora was positively focused, while Lawrence was reeling after learning that her chosen fabric wouldn’t sew and instead had to start over.

Elimination Day arrived with A’Whora fixated on a design victory before leaving, while Tayce and Bimini caught up over the former’s outfit. Which was decidedly unfinished at the bottom. Lawrence meanwhile hadn’t actually tried on an outfit, nervous about finishing it while Ellie and Sister were straight up beating their faces. Lawrence and Sister bonded over learning to sew while young and admitted that their drag is inspired by their weird, outsider younger selves. Lawrence broke down over people just laughing at her when she entered a room as a kid, before sharing that one time, she got so overwhelmed by her bully, she fought back before gag of the season, she made him laugh and it led to her ascension as the funniest person in school.

Which is so relatable, because it is the easiest survival mechanism when you’re queer, hate sports and run a little thick. Speaking from experience.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the judging panel by Maya Jama with Tayce opening the show looking far better than she should. If you didn’t look too closely at the base of her outfit. Or the fact a sponge fell off as she exited. Lawrence meanwhile looked like the blue and orange cousin of Divina’s bag outfit before A’Whora straight up destroyed the competition with a shiny blue outfit, complete with moving flared shoulders that could flip up at a moment’s notice. And hilariously rocking Sister’s signature make-up. Bimini abandoned her OG idea and looked all the better for it, glorious in a black and red number with plunger embellishments on the bum. Ellie, as always, looked stunning in a candy coated outfit while Sister Sister was a demented, overgrown garden from Princess Peach’s castle and I can’t tell if it is too much or just enough, too much.

Continuing to makeup for her tantrum, Ru praised everyone for elevating their looks before turning to Tayce, who was read by the judges for doing a subpar outfit. That being said, they lived for her flawless hair and face. Lawrence received universal praise from head to toe, despite the pom pom popping on her face. Then came A’Whora who got universal praise and then some, with the judges shocked by her ability to make such a killer outfit in so little time. Bimini received praise for her make-up, while Michelle didn’t live for her hair. And Graham felt she needed to edit the dress, despite it all working as a look. Ellie received praise for making such a delightful, sweet outfit while Sister was read for needing to edit the outfit and completely covering up her body and hiding her face.

Backstage Tayce was gagged to be read as badly as she was, annoyed that they couldn’t take into account how hard she worked. Sister Sister was expecting to land in the bottom two, despite living for her outfit while Bimini kindly reminded her that it is just a lot and that doesn’t mean they didn’t like it. Ellie congratulated herself for killing the challenge and called out everyone that thought she would be the next to go, with Sister admitting that she felt Ellie should land in the bottom instead of her.

Ultimately A’Whora took out her second, well-deserved victory, while Ellie was sent to safety. They were joined by Lawrence and Bimini, leaving Tayce and Sister’s gut feelings to turn into predictions as they battled it out to Don’t be So Hard on Yourself by Jess Glynne and girl, did they turn it out. The duo bounced and bopped around the stage, feeling every lyric but maybe because I love her so, but this was Tayce’s lip sync from the very moment, vogueing and dipping, and as such, she saved herself again while poor Sister sadly exited the competition.

Despite being pretty shady and dejected during Untucked, Sister took her exit with grace and was thrilled to have had the chance to shine on such a large stage. I pulled her in for a hug and congratulated her on doing so well, and for hilariously changing her entire face mid-season, continuity be damned. Providing an epic bookend with continuity queen Tia, of course. Speaking of courses, we then celebrated her run by proving the don’t make friends with salad rule wrong with a Sister Blistered Corn and Bean Salad.

I easily grow tired of the same old salads day in and day out and I guess glorious ones like this are the reason why. Sweet, charred, tart and packing a unami punch – thanks char! – it is both refreshing and robust, which is not an easy feat.

Enjoy!

Sister Blistered Corn and Bean Salad
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
4 corn cobs, cleaned and debearded (if that is the term)
200g green beans, trimmed and halved
2 ½ tbsp extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp champagne vinegar
1 French shallot, minced
2 tsp poppy seeds
1 tsp honey
1 tsp Dijon mustard
4 cups baby spinach
1 beetroot, peeled and grated

Method
Place a griddle over medium heat and once scorching, rub the corn with some oil and cook, turning occasionally for about 15 minutes, or until charred. Remove from the heat and slice the kernels off in chunks and pop in a large bowl..

Toss the beans with some oil and a good whack of salt and pepper and cook for a few minutes in the still hot griddle. Once bright green and starting to char, transfer to the bowl with the corn.

Meanwhile, pop the vinegar, shallot, seeds, honey, mustard and 2 tbsp of olive oil in a jug and whisk until well combined.

Arrange the spinach and beetroot in a bowl, top with the corn and beans and drizzle generously with the dressing before devouring. Smugly, since health.


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Annelicoise Wilson Salad

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2017), Main, Salad, Side, Snack, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, the tribes followed the lead of Spice Girls as two became one. While the remaining Asagans looked to be screwed given their numbers disadvantage, they systematically pulled in Henry, Michelle and Locky, one by one, to take control which tragically sent Jarrad out of the game.

Though again, in the words of Abi-Maria, at least he made the jury.

The tribe returned from tribal council where the former majority were reeling from J-Rad’s departure, quickly banding together to find out who flipped on them. While Tessa, Ziggy and Pete assumed it was Locky that flipped, my king did some next level lying and bamboozled them to the point where it felt like they couldn’t even be bothered to find the rat.

The next day Anneliese was still reeling from the vote and Locky’s ability to lie to her face, which made her feel uneasy about him. She then decided that he needed to go, and got to work deciding who best for them to target. Meanwhile Henry and Jericho went for a walk to find Henry’s idol from day four, using the useless clue that he gave to Jericho at the reward challenge a couple of weeks ago. He then pretended to find his own idol again, solidifying Jericho’s loyalty to him.

Anneliese meanwhile continued her assault on my man, approaching Sarah to join with her to get rid of Locky. On the flipside, Henry continued to solidify his alliance with Luke and Jericho by stealing the rest of the jam while everyone slept. It makes as much sense as it sounds, given it will not end well. As expected, JamGate erupted the next morning when Anneliese and Locky discovered the jam was gone.

In the post-jam world of Asatoa, Henry and Locky met up with Sarah and Michelle to discuss their next move, deciding that it was most important to get rid of Anneliese. They also decided that she was the one to eat the jam, just to really confirm the alliance. Ziggy and Pete then reconnected to discuss their next steps, with the latter wanting to go down swinging with his current alliance while Ziggy was willing to shop around for answers.

On the walk to the immunity challenge, Anneliese told us she didn’t want Locky to win, while Henry mentioned Anneliese couldn’t win meaning, in all likelihood, one of them is about to win the challenge. Jonathan gave us a quick rundown – after Henry flagged JamGate again – with the challenge broken up into three stages. The first six people to hook their ring on a pole – my favourite pastime – moved through to the second round, where they had to work through a rope tangled on an obstacle. The top three moving on to the last phase where they each had to land three balls on a ledge at the top of a ramp.

Doing the LGBT community proud, Pete quickly landed his ring, followed by Tara, Henry, Locky, Tessa and Jericho. Henry took an early lead on the second stage, before being overtaken by Locky who became the first person moving on to the final stage. Thankfully Henry wasn’t too far behind, with Jericho rounding out the top three. Locky got out to an early lead, before Henry and Jericho each landed a ball. Henry landed his second, followed by Jericho before Henry just took out immunity. Oh and yeah, neither Locky nor Anneliese won immunity like predicted. Whatevs.

After a brief interlude of pleasantries while everyone congratulated Henry on his victory, shit started to get real. Henry, Luke, Locky and Michelle confirmed the vote for Anneliese, though Michelle and Luke would pretend they were onboard with getting out Locky. Locky then tried to work the idol out of Anneliese’s hands, though given the fact she knows they’re both targeting each other it wasn’t very successful. Anneliese then approached Tessa and Pete to see what the plan was, with them telling her that it is likely her. She then admitted that she had the idol and vowed to play it and stick together.

Tessa and Pete then approached Ziggy to lock in the plan, which she agreed with before running directly to Locky and Henry to keep Locky – another potential meatshield for Ziggy – in the game over Anneliese. While Locky and Henry were feeling confident, Tara and Luke weren’t buying it and were extremely nervous as they headed off to tribal.

At tribal, Jarrad watched on from the jury as the first five minutes revolved around JamGate. While Sarah correctly guessed Luke was involved, Jericho alluded to the fact that it may have influenced the vote which shows he is probs smarter than I give him credit for. Finally we got to some vague statements about the numbers, with Michelle pointing out that despite believing she had the numbers after the last tribal council, the line in the sand was washed away the very next day. Ziggy mentioned she was planning to take out a threat tonight, while Tara and Henry spoke about how dangerous flippers are in the game. Michelle spoke about idols being out there followed by Ziggy mentioning that tonight is the night to make a move, making me even more anxious than I thought possible today … AND I was at the Emmys but a few hours ago!

The votes rolled in between Locky and Anneliese – well I assume, we only saw two – before Anneliese decided to play her idol to save herself from becoming the scapegoat. Sadly for her though, Ziggy opted to play her super idol negating Anneliese’s idol and sending her out of the game as the second juror. While I would have burnt the jury villa to the ground if it happened to me, Anneliese was as gracious as always upon arrival and warmly embraced me as I put the finishing touches on her Annelicoise Wilson Salad.

 

 

I’m actually a lecturer at Anneliese’s university – obviously, I’m still into running uni scams – and I truly have a soft spot for her. Hell, I’d go as far as to say she is my favourite student … which explains why I was willing to cook seafood for her. Well … serve it. While the idea of tuna makes me sick, nicoise is actually pretty amazing. Though I assume that all comes down to the potato and eggs? In any event, enjoy!

 

 

Annelicoise Wilson Salad
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 eggs
150g potatoes
150g green beans, trimmed, halved
2 tbsp champagne vinegar
1 tsp Dijon mustard
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
pinch of muscovado sugar
¼ cup olive oil
2 baby cos lettuces, leaves torn and rinsed
200g tinned tuna, drained
12 small black olives, halved
small handful parsley, diced

Method
Place the eggs in a pot of cold water. Place over medium heat, bring to the boil and cook for five minutes. Drain the eggs, submerge in cold water, peel and half.

While the eggs are cooking, place the potato into a second pot of water with a pinch of salt and bring to the boil. Cook for five to ten minutes, or until tender. Add the beans and cook for a further minute. Drain, run under cold water to refresh and allow to drain for a couple of minutes.

Combine the vinegar, dijon, garlic, muscovado and olive oil in a jug and whisk until well combined.

To serve, place the lettuce in a bowl, top with potato, beans and eggs. Drizzle with the dressing, add tuna and olives, sprinkle over parsley … and add more dressing, because who doesn’t wanna get saucy.

Then, obviously, devour.

 

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