Cocktail

Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos

Australian Survivor, Drink, Survivor, Survivor: Australia V The World, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the World tribe desperately hunted for the key to the box they won during the opening challenge, with fate – or the Survivor Gods – shining down on our beloved Parvati. As she jagged it and used it into solidifying an alliance with the women. Sadly, upon opening the box they discovered that the power was knowing that JLP’s podium was home to an idol. And with them all assuming it was the only one on offer, Kass was able to find the camp idol without anyone noticing. At the immunity challenge, George tried to play mind games with the legends before Sarah dropped out of nowhere, due to Lisa being a challenge beast. Back at camp Sarah got jealous of Kirby growing closer with Shonee, so asked Kirby to vote her out as a test of loyalty. Sadly for her Shonee did what she does best, rallying the troops to take revenge on George and despite Janine trying to dump some votes on Shon, our queen sent George from the game.

Back at camp Janine quickly apologised to Shonee for putting votes on her, with her being an icon and not even caring. She spoke about how funny it was that she was able to cut George before he joined the 100 day club, capping his three season run at 99 days. Oh and while she said she wasn’t annoyed about Janine and Luke, she told us that she thought they were stupid for dumping votes on her given they are already the clear minority. But you know, she is feeling like a King now that she has snipped off George, so she won’t even let it get to her. Plus, Luke was so glad George was gone that they clearly now had something in now.

The next day we checked in with the World tribe where Lisa was busy doing laundry with Parvati and ugh, I love to see this for Lisa. And TBH Parvati, proving my ‘you can’t win with the same game twice’ theory wrong, given she is playing Micronesia again and dominating. She told us that the women are working together and will use the tribal council idol to their advantage when they need to. As such, she caught up with Cirie and they agreed that while the boys need to go, she knows Tony is a massive target and as such, she needs him around as a shield specifically. And Tommi is such a sweet, helpful guy, that he is just too likeable to stay. Speaking of the boys, they were busy pledging their undying loyalty to each other, with Tony planning for them to join up with the Aussies after the merge.

As that was happening, the women were joining up to plot their next steps, with Lisa and Kass trying to put the target on Tony as the bigger threat – aka because they are secretly aligned with Tommi – while Parvati clearly tried to keep Tony from being targeted, assuring them he will stick with the majority no matter what, so they are safest with him. The problem was Lisa, however, clearly pointing out that while Tony may be happy to go with the majority, it can’t be the end point of his game. Particularly as a two time winner, so that is not something they cannot trust. Cirie thankfully saw that both Lisa and Parvati being so locked in could lead to a little bit of tension, so reminded everyone they don’t have to worry about it right now and they can come to a decision together when they do need to worry. Splitting everyone up and nipping the tension in the bud.

Back at the Aussie camp Janine was still stressed about begging Luke to throw a couple of votes on Shonee to protect herself. And while it may have painted a target on them, it did lead to her and Luke pledging to go to the end together, so that is something. And the King of the Jungle is always ready to do something wild to get there. Kirby meanwhile was bathing under the watchful eye of Sarah, while the latter grew more and more paranoid that Kirby was angry with her and as such, she knew she needed to diversify her options. Sarah went to talk to Janine, suggesting that maybe now is the time to get rid of Kirby given she is giving off weird vibes. And while she quickly changed her mind to suggesting Shonee, it gave Luke and Janine all the ammunition they needed to make a play for Kirby. 

That night as everyone slept, Janine pulled Kirby aside to let her know what Sarah said and while Kirby had not lost her trust in Sarah before, she sure did after speaking to Janine. And was now ready to take a shot.

The tribes joined up with Jonathan in the jungle where they were gagged to learn that tribal immunity is not up for grabs. Instead each tribe would compete amongst themselves for an individual immunity necklace, as all of them are going to tribal council tonight. As for the challenge, they would each sit and hold a block against a pole with just their legs. Aka something perfect for our pilates queens. Sadly Lisa wasn’t able to compete medically, however, as the rest of the tribemates lined up. Almost instantly Luke started to struggle, while Parvati and Kirby whispered to each other about wanting to work together at the merge. Luke meanwhile sounded like he was taking a massive shit before dropping at just four and a half minutes. As everyone spoke about Shonee lasting over an hour the last time she did a variation of the challenge, Kirby dropped at the fifteen minute mark, leaving Shonee, Sarah and Janine to fight for their necklace. After twenty minutes JLP decided to make things spicy and forced everyone to put their hands behind their heads, which cost Janine and Shonee, handing Sarah immunity.

Let us pause here to remember that Shonee literally had a baby a few months ago and did that. She is both a mother, and mother. That is Queen behaviour.

The entire World tribe was still going at 45 minutes, so JLP made everyone go to a single foot, while the other one just had to hang in space. Which cost Tommi almost instantly. Tony was next to go at 53 minutes followed by Cirie, leaving Parvati and Kass to battle for the final necklace. And after an hour, Parvati suggested they make a little deal, agreeing to drop during the next endurance challenge if Kass drops for her now. Which Kass promptly refused. They continued to battle for over an hour and twenty four minutes, before Kass struggled too much, agreeing to the deal before dropping, handing Parvati the other immunity. Before sending the tribes back to camp, JLP casually dropped that despite both tribe going to tribal council, only one person would be going home. 

We followed the Aussies back to camp where Janine was grateful that nobody was giving off challenge beast out of the Aussies, so the World tribe wouldn’t view them as threats come the merge. Kirby meanwhile was gutted that Sarah was immune, given that voting out her number one was her only plan. That being said, talk turned to what the twist could be with Shonee telling everyone that they had a double tribal council in All Stars where the two voted out would then face off in a fire challenge, with the loser of that going home. Shonee then told Luke that she would be voting for Janine, given she voted for her. And given Luke did not want that, he decided the only logical thing would be to woo Kirby to their side and get rid of Shonee instead. And while Kirby hated the idea, she knew she had to keep her options open. After catching up and locking in the Shonee vote, Kirby caught up with Shonee and agreed that they would both like to take out Janine. Unless they all get to vote as one, in which case they’d love to all take out an international instead.

We checked in with the World tribe where they were all speculating what would be happening, with them speculating that maybe only those who are immune would be voting. Parvati whispered to Tony that if that is the case, he is safe and to just relax. Everyone split up to have conversations assuming it is something else, leaving Tony alone. This made him super paranoid about what could happen, so he tried to stick to everyone like glue so they couldn’t say his name. Parvati and Cirie assured him that Tommi was the target, just as Kass and Lisa were busy trying to protect Tommi and get rid of Tony. Agreeing that while they trust Cirie and want to trust Parvati, they only truly can trust each other. Kass approached Cirie in the hope that she could sway her to their side, and while Cirie admitted to us that she would prefer to keep the Americans safe, she would prefer to keep the women’s alliance together even more. And if it means sacrificing Tony, so be it. Because Cirie was also concerned about how tribal council could actually play out.

Cirie and Tony were busy catching up in the shelter with the latter growing more and more sketchy about the vibes. As such, Tony disappeared to talk to Tommi and let him know that Parvati said that he was the target. And that all the women will tell Tommi that Tony is the target. The two-time winner then realised that Parvati and Cirie clearly know where the key to the locked box is, as everyone had appeared to have just forgotten about it. And as such, he would just pretend he has an idol and cause as much chaos as possible.

The tribes came together at tribal council where Shonee told everyone that she believes each tribe would be voting someone out and that then the duo would face off in a fire challenge to stay. Jonathan didn’t drag it out, however, quickly sharing that it was not what was happening. Instead, each tribe would get to pull rocks to decide who would face off in a fire challenge and the winner of that challenge would win immunity for their tribe while the other would vote someone out. And given Sarah was shitting herself when she drew the white rock, things were not looking good for the Aussies. Even though she was up against Cirie, who famously lost the game after losing the fire challenge in her first season. So maybe all hope wasn’t lost.

Sarah and Cirie took their places at the stations with Sarah sweetly checking if Cirie was in danger before they got started. Both of them got to work, with Tony desperately coaching Cirie while Kirby was looking after things for Sarah. While Shonee looked ready to burst into tears as Sarah struggled, she was ultimately the first to get a spark. And while her methods were unconventional, she managed to get a fire and quickly built around it, filling tribal council with smoke before Cirie eventually got a spark. Sadly for her, however, the swing method didn’t work for her, as Sarah’s fire was furious, licking at the rope and sending the Aussies back to camp.

Side note, if Cirie makes fire in the final four of Survivor 50 and Sarah’s method gets her the win, we all owe Sarah our life.

Once they exited, Cirie spoke about how disappointed she was to have caused their tribe to lose someone. Kass joked about spending too much time strategising, rather than practising fire. While Tony was disappointed to now be voting someone out, he didn’t really get to strategise, while Tommi felt like the immunity challenge was a waste of time. Which Parvati joked she would beg to differ. Tony then got up to start whispering and when everyone told him they didn’t know who they were voting for, Tony tied his shoe around his neck and assured them all that he would be safe no matter what, as would the people he spoke to. The girls then got up to talk things through, with Parvati assuring them that he was just making a big play and there is no reason to worry.

Everyone came back together with Tony asking if Parvati told all the women that she had the key, and while she denied it – and telling him, if she did have it – he eventually admitted he wasn’t told, but he saw her with it. As Parvati and Tony argued back and forth, wishing things didn’t have to be like this. The internationals got up to talk about what to do, agreeing if they all just vote for Tony they would be safe. Cirie joined them, with everyone agreeing to get rid of Tony. However when she sat down, Tommi assured Lisa and Kass that he would be voting for Cirie and if they joined him, they would also be completely fine. Everyone sat back down with Tony and Parvati continuing to fight before agreeing on one thing – that they are both well and truly ready to vote.

And vote they did, before Tony got up to pretend to play an idol, as Cirie whispered to Parvati to go snatch the podium idol if he did play one. Thankfully he didn’t, as the women held firm and the rest of the votes piled up on Tony and sent him from the game. As Parvati lingered back to snatch the idol, as JLP held her torch for her. Like a damn icon.

As Tony arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being so entertaining. And more importantly this season, for becoming mother. Because while all the women this season have got their dues for being mother, Tony has also been mother. While he was a little bit confused about what I was talking about, he could tell it was meant as the ultimately compliment, so took as such. As while I was always rooting for someone else in his previous seasons, this time I truly fell in love with him. And while he was the fourth boot, I would argue he once again cemented his legacy. Because there is no way a two-time winner is ever getting near a final tribal council again. So he had to settle for a famous Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos.

While the world fell in love with this delightful drink thanks to Emma D’arcy, it is easy to understand why she fell for it. A little sweet, a little bitter and oh so refreshing, it is the perfect thing to toast the game of the greatest male Survivor player of all time.

Enjoy!

Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
60ml sweet vermouth
60ml campari
60ml prosecco
orange slice, to serve

Method
Fill an old-fashioned glass with ice.

Top with vermouth and campari, and stir.

Top with prosecco, give a final stir, garnish with an orange slice and down. Repeat as required.


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Maxiwillsiam Affair

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Myles was busy chatting his way into the bottom of the new Brains tribe. Max too was left out in the new tribe, but he at least found an idol, so had some form of safety Max, Zara and Laura didn’t. Despite Paulie’s best efforts, the new Brawn tribe lost their second immunity and as such, AJ planned to make the OG Brawn members his hostages to try and force the Brains into throwing challenges and save them. Which isn’t good for his original tribemates Zara, Myles, Max or Laura, no? While he was confident that it was the best plan ever, his allies were not on board in the slightest, nor was Ursula. But that latter part didn’t matter, given she was promptly booted from the game.

The next day AJ was thrilled to have gotten his way at tribal council and come up with a killer plan. Sadly for him, Logan was frustrated by said alleged killer plan and thought he was an idiot, given his moves not only impact them, but their allies on the other side. Specifically Laura. Karin and Kaelan agreed it was a bad idea, but weren’t seething and hoped they could somehow reel him in. Logan being an icon pulled Kristin aside to talk about AJ’s flippant play, with Kristin agreeing he has lost the plot and is definitely not thinking straight. Though the duo agreed not to tell anyone else how they were feeling, because if AJ gets nervous, he is likely to do something even sillier. He then approached Kristin in the water, with her expertly acting like she has no idea how the game is played and was just happy to go with the flow. Though trust and believe, she wanted to kick AJ to the curb ASAP.

We checked in with the Brains where Max was busy meditating, as Myles continued to talk – and talk and talk – about how he played the game too hard, too fast and as such, deserved to be on the bottom of the OG Brains. He realised that he has been a power bottom all game, and was now stuck with his nemesis Max and the OG Brawn members, who made it clear they were not budging from getting rid of a Brain. Max meanwhile was vibing, confident he was the Brawn’s favourites of the OG Brains, and with an idol in his pocket, he was feeling his oats. He quickly approached Jesse and got him to agree to get rid of Myles, with him obviously just giving a yep before Max ran off to pull in Laura.

And Max is totally getting owned this episode, right? Again.

JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where AJ quickly told the Brains tribe that he has hostages and he is willing to vote one off tribal after tribal unless they start throwing challenges. Much to the rage of Zara and Laura, given it meant they would be the collateral damage on their tribe. But back to the challenge, the tribes would unload sandbags from a canoe and then carry it up the beach to release puzzle pieces and then toss balls on a trough. After begging Brains to not throw the challenge, Zara and Kate sat out as Brawn powered ahead to win the challenge without the need for Brains to throw, just like Kaelan wanted to do. Though given how far ahead they got, maybe the Brains were throwing it. Wait, no, they were throwing, as Morgan, Ben and Jesse admitted they were all individually taking their time.

Sadly for them, Brawn solved the puzzle alerting the OG Brains that a hidden immunity idol was in one of their sandbags. Laura ran off to try and snatch it, and give the OG Brains some hope. This led to Jesse and Ben abandoning the challenge in the hope of keeping it out of her hands, soon followed by Morgan. After Logan landed her ball for Brawn, she joined the hunt for their idol, bitching and moaning to the new Brains about AJ’s chaos. While Myles screamed at Ben to come back and help him and Max with the puzzle, the Brawns each joined the hunt before Kristin snatched it. The Brains, meanwhile, couldn’t find it before Myles straight up came down, grabbed it and continued to yell at them to try and win the challenge. The Brains then managed to close the gap as Karin was the last Brawn standing, getting more and more nervous, until she put everyone out of their misery as she finally secured immunity.

Back at camp the OG Brains were absolutely livid, with Zara in particular irate and mocking the Brawns for being a mess. Ben was confident that they’ll be able to stay Brawn strong, despite Myle’s idol complicating their plans. Now, they planned to flush his idol and put four votes on Max to take him out instead, given his idol is still a hidden one. Brawn planned to tell each Brain that they are not the target in the hope that it would create so much confusion that Myles is too scared to play the idol for anyone but himself. Laura, being smart, realised that the OG Brawn were planning on splitting their votes and as such, the four OG Brains just needed to stick together. And while everything seemed good, Max couldn’t understand that they were all trying to save him with this plan, and that he just needed to vote for Kate and shut up. But given he couldn’t look Zara in the eye and say he would work with them, it did not look good.

Max went full Indy, feeling like they were dictating plans to him and he wasn’t happy, so pulled Ben and Jesse aside to jump in on their plans. He then shared that he believes Myles has no interest in playing the idol for himself, so if they were smart, they could still vote him out. Or Zara, given she threatened to kill him if he crossed her. Which is flawed logic if she genuinely planned to kill him, but alas, he locked in the split vote between Zara and Myles. And damn, I really want him to not play his idol and embarrass himself again, so please, make it happen universe. Max then followed Jesse around like a bad smell all afternoon, talking about how great the plan is, while Jesse subtly tried to find out who the OG Brains would be voting for.

Wanting to help his pal out, Max pulled Laura aside to bring her up to speed on his plans to betray them. Sadly for him, she shut him down instantly. She tried to calmly explain that this is their chance to claw back the numbers, with Max instead hyper fixated on getting revenge on Myles and Zara. Seeing he refused to budge and therefore the plan was dead, Laura eventually joined the flip to save herself, but when she caught up with Zara, she told her everything too and suggested they both join Max in throwing Myles under the bus. And while Zara wanted to save him, she didn’t see any other way to save Myles. Even as he agreed to play his idol for her. The OG Brawns meanwhile caught up as Jesse floated the idea of taking Max out instead, despite assuring him he has nothing to worry about. While Max laughed it up about the fact he will be getting his way tonight like a budget Ace Ventura. And he assured us that if it feels weird at tribal council, he had an idol in his pocket for protection.

At tribal council Ben spoke about missing JLP, but was glad to get back to the game and take another person out. Max continued to talk about how exciting tribal council is, admitting he is feeling confident and looking forward to building trust with this vote. Myles meanwhile spoke about his power bottom credentials, and knew he was an easy target to take revenge on AJ, given he is his closest ally. Ben spoke about it being an easy vote, until Myles found the idol, and admitted he was now a little bit worried. Jesse agreed they’ve had to shuffle things around, but he was hopeful things would still work out for the OG Brawn. Laura spoke about wishing the Brains could stick together, while Myles knew that an idol could only protect him for one vote but he would prefer to use it to lock in alliances. While Zara was wanting to build bridges in the tribe, and not cause drama like AJ was doing. Max, meanwhile, felt it was a great idea to play as a swing vote tonight and he wanted to power through the game like a steam train with his new allies. Laura said that can happen with whoever he chooses, though Max was confident that after tonight, he will be on the right side of the numbers. Myles on the other hand was just hoping he was trusting the right people to save himself.

With that the tribe voted, Myles played his idol for himself and negated four votes against him before a single vote landed on Kate and the rest of Max, sending him out of the game with an idol in the pocket. Once again burnt at tribal council like an absolute fool. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I spent a quick minute pointing and laughing at him for once again being burned at tribal council before pulling him in for a hug and thanking us for the memories. And giving us another, very satisfying pre-merge boot. Which is enough to earn him a gloriously strong Maxiwillsiam Affair.

Given Max gave us a gloriously epic downfall, I kind of felt I owed him something special. And this cocktail definitely fits the bill. All at once floral, tart and packing a punch, it is the perfect palette cleanser after a bitter blindside.

Enjoy!

Maxiwillsiam Affair
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
30ml mezcal
30ml elderflower liqueur
15ml red vermouth
15ml lemon juice

Method
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice, add all the ingredients and shake well.

Strain into a glass, garnish with some peel and down. Smugly.


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Rich Houzos, Lemon and Mint

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after Rich landed on the Brawn tribe, he proved clutch in securing them an Ikea comfort collection. Sadly for him, however, when Karin and Usula were locked in a wrestling battle for half an hour, she warned Ursula that the Brawns can’t trust him under any circumstances. After Brains lost the immunity challenge, Rich handed off his safety without power advantage to allow Max to take control. And oh boy, did that make Max’s already abundant confidence explode into insufferable arrogance. His sights, as they oft are, were firmly set on Myles, completely unaware that the Coven break-up had created a new majority between Karin, Zara, Myles, AJ and Kaelan. And when he sent Laura and Karin were sent away from tribal council, the new majority blindsided him and took out Ally. Much to Logan’s rage at Max.

We followed the splintered tribe back to camp where Karin and Laura were shocked to see Ally had been booted, as Logan bitched at the girls about Max flipping on everyone. The Graduates meanwhile pulled Max aside to have a couple of lols at him being blindsided by his own advantage, and that he burnt his last couple of allies in the process. Everyone came together where Logan completely cussed him out before he eventually explained he didn’t vote for Ally and threw Zara under the bus. Who instead of admitting she has a new alliance, tried to convince Logan that she pulled a Cara and cooked the vote and damn, Zara can act too? Queen, I love her. I mean, Logan was hugging her to make sure she was okay by the end of her performance, given tribal council was such a chaotic mess.

And given the graduates were feeling super confident about being in charge, we know a little twist is imminent, no?

Right on cue JLP arrived for a reward challenge for sandwiches. Which the winning new tribe would be feasting on, as it is now time to switch things up. Officially. After everyone dropped their buffs, the new Brains tribe consisted of Ben, Laura, PD, Kate, Morgan, Myles, Zara, Jesse and Max while the new Brawn tribe was made up of Ursula, Kaelan, Rich, AJ, Logan, Noonan, Paulie, Kristin and Karin. But anyway, the challenge. One at a time, the new tribes would swim out to a platform to memorise symbols and then recreate it back on shore. First tribe to three scoring the reward. Laura and Kaelan were up first with the latter absolutely dominating the swim and scoring the first point for new Brawn. Rich continued the streak defeating Zara, before Ursula and Kate both got theirs wrong on the first round, giving Ursula a huge head start to fix hers and take out the win for Brawn.

We followed the new tribe back to their camp where everyone was delighted to see the sandwiches. While the former Brains were more shocked to see the luxury their rivals were living in. Karin was even more thrilled to be in the majority, though was kind of stressed, given that majority included Rich. He told the former Brains that Brawn had a far better culture than theirs, unaware that they all thought that he (and before him, Kent) was the problem, not the tribe. When Logan defended the Brains, Ursula decided to hold Rich’s beer and told everyone she has been on the bottom the entire game and is the person the Brawns were all against.

Over at the new Brains tribe, Zara was shitting her pants, stuck in the minority with Max and Laura, two people she could not work with. Ever. Under any circumstance. The former Brawns immediately disappeared to strategise by the well, while Zara and Myles went hunting for advantages and locked in their loyalty to each other. And agreed to throw Max and Laura under the bus, in that order. Sadly for them, it was Max who jagged the idol they were searching for. Though given it filled Max with confidence, we know it will somehow screw him over because it is Max and if there is one thing he is going to do, it is get cocky and fuck something up.

The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would race to untangle chests from a pole to release a key, use the key to unlock the chests and carry them through an obstacle course, before unlocking them to release tiles, which they would push up a slope with a thin pole and land at the top of a wall. It was super hard to follow who was ahead, until Brawn got themselves knotted and handed Brains the lead. While new Brawn tried to close the gap, Brains continued to power through the course allowing Ben plenty of time to practice how to use the pole before Brawn joined the fray. Pushing the tiles up proved to be quite the challenge though, leading to both tribes desperately trying to figure it out. And with Noonan coaching Rich, Brawn quickly landed two in a row before Ben and PD closed the gap, giving us a challenge. As the Brains quickly landed their third, after Rich refused to be subbed out at Brawn.

Insert eye roll.

Back at camp things got pretty awkward pretty quickly, as Karin worried that Rich would be their undoing. She, AJ and Logan caught up, with AJ suggesting it could be safest to throw Rich under the bus and tell the OG Brawn that they’re interested in getting him out. That, or target Noonan and then go for Rich next. They took the plan to Rich, who was keen to get rid of her. Noonan meanwhile pulled Kristin and Ursula aside to come up with a plan. Though given Ursula hasn’t been aligned with Paulie and Noonan all game, and it all hinges on working together, things don’t look good. Particularly since Noonan and Ursula argued the entire time they hung by the well to lock in the vote. Eventually Paulie got them to calm down long enough to agree to vote for Logan, allowing him time to pull Rich aside and float the plan with him. And given Rich wasn’t overly keen on Logan, he was pretty open to turning on her.

AJ meanwhile wasn’t confident in being Brains strong, so pulled Paulie aside to catch up – and flirt? My basement, stahp – with the zaddy floating the idea of him joining Brawn to get rid of Logan. AJ then caught up with Rich, with them both agreeing that potentially getting rid of Logan would be best for their games and ugh, I went from a budding gay romance to losing a queen. It was whiplash in a minute. AJ’s plan, however, was for Rich to vote Logan but for him to stick with the OG Brains to be able to play both sides. Which was all well and good, except Rich wanted him to vote out Logan too, otherwise Rich planned to come for AJ next.

Logan meanwhile was catching up with Ursula and Kristin by the fire, with the trio talking about how hard it is to vote someone out already, given they haven’t been together very long. With Logan using it to her advantage, pointing out that Noonan and Ursula clearly hate each other given the former was rolling her eyes at her. Ursula went straight to confront Noonan, as AJ told them that Rich was planning to get rid of Logan and as such, the two of them need to stick together. Paulie then ran off to lock in Rich while Ursula and Noonan continued their fight with Ursula admitting that she wasn’t sure whether she will vote for Logan or Noonan after the drama.

Ursula then walked off as AJ realised the Logan vote was not, in fact, coming together. As such, he pulled Karin aside to let her know that Rich was planning to get rid of Logan, so they should band with Brawn to take him out instead. AJ then pulled Kaelan and Logan aside to let them know that she was in danger, and that they would have to work with Brawn at tribal council. As Karin looped in Noonan, AJ tried to loop in Ursula and Kristin just as Rich walked out of the ocean, leaving us unsure whether they were down to get rid of him more than Ursula’s desire for revenge against Noonan.

At tribal council Karin spoke about how confusing things were after the swap, while Paulie suggested tonight actually proved a huge opportunity for someone to make a big move. Logan agreed it could be a simple vote down tribal lines, though simple rarely wins out and as such, everyone should be nervous about a big move. Rich too pretended to not want Logan out, while Noonan suggested they should all just agree to be fun and do something wild. Karin and Rich suggested they kill off old tribal lines, while Ursula agreed that she loved that idea, given two former Brawns are the ones that continued to vote against her.

Rich jumped in to speak about a logical plan and the fun one, while Kristin politely suggested there are many options for everyone. Before Rich straight up suggested he was thinking he could easily be nasty, though. She played it far more kinder, no doubt playing for the Brains while Kaelan suggested trust will definitely be broken. As AJ shared that he hoped that the vote would actually make the tribe stronger, before Noonan added it will make it stronger and they’ll all go back to camp with mutual respect. Logan then told JLP that she believes it is distasteful of him to make them vote tonight, because she doesn’t know enough about the OG Brawn members, listing a litany of facts about them and proving herself kind, but also a threat. Which made Noonan feel touched and nervous, while Rich was just ready to kick the second act into high gear. With that, the tribe voted and like last episode, Rich’s pride came before a fall, this time his own, as the tribe banded together to take him out instead.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I gave him a high five and thanked him for being entertaining. And like Logan, I chose kindness, because I didn’t explain that the entertainment was due to his terrible gameplay and flameout via arrogance. Though that is probably because I kept it super brief, handed him a Rich Houzos, Lemon and Mint and sent him on his way.

Ouzo is something that I always heard horror stories about from my parents and their own bad experiences. But when drunk as an adult, rather than a teen, and mixed with some fresh lemon and mint, it slaps.

Enjoy!

Rich Houzos, Lemon and Mint
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
75ml ouzo
30ml fresh lemon juice
3 mint leaves
ice

Method
Combine the ouzo, lemon juice and syrup in a jug, and stir to combine, before adding the mint and bruising with a wooden spoon to release the oils.

Fill an old fashioned glass with ice and pour the cocktail over, before downing, like an iconic flameout.


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Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls were tasked with reviewing census data on the way to forming Global Girl Groups. Everyone, thankfully, was allowed to write verses in their mother tongue, because that would have been completely unfair. Soa and Kween were super confident given they won the Girl Groups challenge on their original season, while Kitty was hoping to finally live up to her potential given she made her name in a literal Girl Group. We know that could have gone either way in the world of Drag Race, but luckily for her, Kitty owned the challenge from start to finish and took out victory. In Untucked, Nehellenia felt everyone was attacking her and telling her she wasn’t good enough while riling up her sisters, when she wouldn’t actually say who felt that way. Ultimately Miranda and Vanity landed in the bottom, with sweet Miranda sent home.

Backstage Vanity was grateful to have survived the lip sync, but sad for the delightful Miranda. To her credit, Vanity agreed that she was the weakest in her team, though pointed out that any of Alyssa’s back-up dancers should have been in the bottom with Miranda instead. Or even Alyssa, given she is the one that did choreography that her sisters couldn’t handle and yas, queen, give us drama, mama!

The next day the energy was far more jovial with Kitty thrilled to have a victory under her belt, particularly since she won more money than Krystal did for winning their OG season. After briefly touching on Vanity’s killer lip sync – her last of the season, allegedly – Alyssa brought things back to Nehellenia’s Untucked tantrum with her awkwardly staying quiet, before apologising for sharing her feelings. Kween explained to Nehellenia that she felt like she and Kitty weren’t able to talk about their own positive critiques due to her drama, and that is why she was so frustrated.

Once again the Ru-larm interrupted what was bound to be an epic Alyssa monologue, as Ru arrived to open the international biblioteca. Because reading is what? Fundamental. Tessa was up first, giving cute and topical, before Pythia was read by Alyssa while she tried to read her. Nehellenia vowed to never watch Tessa’s season, Vanity begged Tessa to shut up and then bombed badly, Kitty meanwhile was hilarious. Full stop. Kween was savage, Alyssa was hilarious, Gala was brutal, Eva was cute, while Soa was iconic and energetic. Rightfully, though, victory went to Kitty because she is nothing if not a shady doll. Pushing her into the role of frontrunner, according to her.

With that out of the way, Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, they would be starring in Boobified – drag doll Barbie – movie shequels.  The Pit Crew arrived to help decide teams as the dolls picked their films out of his pink, furry box. Tessa landed on Frankenboobie alongside Vanity, Gala and Eva, Pythia, Nehellenia and Soa were starring in Boobies Of The Caribbean, while Kitty, Kween and Alyssa were cast in Jurassic Boobie.

The dolls split into their teams to read through the scripts with Team Tessa calmly grabbing roles, with Vanity and Gala rocking off for the final role. And while Vanity didn’t get the role of Weird Boobie, she vowed to slay nonetheless, given she needs to prove herself after her bottom two and bomb in the reading challenge combo. While Eva started to panic she was only in the last scene and as such, needed to stand out. Over in Team Caribbean, Soa was thrilled to lean into her heritage with the trio calmly dividing the roles and preparing to have fun motorboating. Which is a cultural thing Nehellenia is only learning. Meanwhile at Jurassic Boobie, Alyssa felt typecast as the older girl, while Kween related to the T-Rex role leaving Kitty as the Laura Dern.

Team Purple were first up to film with Michelle and Jamal with Tessa serving drama, as is her way, Gala was cute and silly, while Vanity pushed through her nerves to deliver madness while Eva struggled to find her bitchy Karen. Boobies of the Caribbean was demented and slutty from start to finish, as Nehellenia embraced her lisp for comedic effect, Pythia walked that fucking duck instead of plank while Soa had her sword stroked. Wrapping up the shoot, Jurassic Boobie was glorious from start to finish as Alyssa gave rando accent and was hilariously iconic as she always is – do wah, do wah – while Kween relished being a big ol’ bitch. Before Kitty snapped the giant blow dryer prop.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone feeling rather confident in their performance, with Alyssa grateful to make it through the shoot without flubbing her lines. Eva meanwhile cheeked in with Pythia, asking what the political climate is like in Canada. She opened up about how progressive it is, however felt growing up in Greece was truly terrifying. She spoke about how she had a falling out with her parents before Canada’s Drag Race, but she secretly went on the show and her parents watching helped them understand and improve their relationship. Gala on the other hand spoke about the disparity in Mexico, with the urban areas very progressive, over the climate was far less kind in outer states.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by style superstar Carson Kressley as Tessa opened the Brown Town runway giving fashion ABBA by way of delivering for UPS. Gala looked like a beast from Mad Max, Vanity was golden glamour in honour of the winner of her season, Eva gave prehistoric fashion, Pythia was her ice age sister, Nehellenia was perfection as a violin, Soa gave William Dorsey Swann and looked gorgeous. Alyssa gave clockwork Kansas steampunk realness, Kitty was living her Kardashian realness while Kween closed the show serving Pasifika warrior realness.

When it came to their movie trailers, Team Frankenboobie were cute and camp, Team Boobies of the Caribbean were oh so silly and gloriously fun, before Jurassic Boobie stole the damn show with Kween thriving and living her best life as a demented doll-dinosaur. Rightfully, Jurassic Boobie were declared the winners with Kween singled out as the best of the best before they were all sent backstage to untuck. After assuring the dolls they were all great this week, Tessa was praised for taking risks and having fun. Gala got her flowers for letting going and was praised for looking glorious on the runway despite there being a lot going on. Vanity was deemed the best of her group, while Eva was read for kinda getting lost in the performance. Pythia was praised for embracing the silliness, Nehellenia was beloved for everything while Soa was praised for constantly surprising the judges.

Backstage the Ru girls were thrilled to remain in the top, as Kween thanked them for having fun and making the challenge a joy. Talk turned to who would be in the bottom this week, with everyone agreeing on Eva but unsure of who in her team would be joining them. The bottoms made their way backstage with Soa opening up about feeling emotional despite getting generally strong critiques. Vanity was worried she would be in the bottom again, not wanting to spend the season in her head like in her OG run. Gala was feeling good, despite being read for giving too much in the look. While Eva was aware she was clearly in the bottom, so disappeared to prepare for the lip sync.

On the mainstage Ru reminded them they all did good this week before declaring Eva and Gala as the bottom two, sending the rest of the dolls to safety. And this too was a show. As Take On Me by A-Ha kicked off – this time minus Gigi’s attempted cheating towards a crown – Eva was gorgeous and hit every note. Gala meanwhile gave silly, camp fun and was clearly not interested in going home. And despite a wig reveal from Eva and some of the 80s finest moves, Gala’s emotion and stunts guaranteed her another week, as poor Eva found herself exiting.

As soon as she stepped off stage, I gave my best rice-cooker-not-plugged-in scream and pulled her in for a massive hug. Despite being such an early boot, there is no denying that Eva, like her sister Marina, is a bonafide star and more than worthy of a crown. But alas, the international queens tragically don’t appear to be faring well this season, and as such, she had to settle with an Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail while she waits.

While I never got to share it with you all previously, I was a dear friend of Liz II’s, may she rest in peace. And since I’ve given up using time travel – the TV show Loki scared me off fucking with it further – I figured she wouldn’t mind me pouring won out for a fellow queen.

Enjoy!

Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
60ml dubonnet
30ml gin
ice
1 lemon wedge

Method
Pour the dubonnet and gin in a shaker and stir until well combined.

Pop the ice in a glass, add the lemon wedge and pour the cocktail over. Then down, and repeat, as required.


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Raymond Chaney Temple Black

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor everyone was on the hunt for an idol, until Feras rehid his for Ray to find to guarantee nothing fell into the Titans’ hands. Leaving Kirby with immunity as her only hope, given Ray was presumably safe. Tragically she fell out of the challenge, leaving it up to Feras to take all the Rebels to the end. After Mark took out immunity, Kirby begged Feras to play the idol for her, promising that if she goes tonight, he is next out the door. Sadly for her, the pitch fell on deaf ears as Feras played the idol for himself and sent the Queen to the jury.

Back at camp Mark and Caroline were overjoyed to make it to the final four, with Caroline in particular, thrilled by the fact she is the last woman standing. She tried to convince Feras and Ray that getting rid of Kirby was a massive move for all of them, while Feras was mainly focused on his guilt over ending her game. Despite knowing that he had no chance of winning if he were sitting next to her. He then caught up with Ray to assure him that it is them to the end, and that all they need to do is guarantee Mark doesn’t win immunity.

Which always feels like foreshadowing, no?

The next day Mark was still feeling his oats after the Kirby vote, confident it guaranteed him a clear and easy path to the end. And potentially a win, given he is more well liked than Caroline. We then got a little flashback to Feras and Mark locking in a final three deal, which explains his confidence a little more. And oh sweet baby Jesus, don’t let it be Ekin-Su. With the role of Ekin-Su played by our resident thespian, Raymond. Caroline meanwhile was busy washing up, reflecting on her time in the game and how being underestimated has fast become her super power. 

Despite all of his deals, Feras was nervous about being sent out as the fourth placed robbed goddess of the season should he not win immunity. Knowing sweet baby Ray is the only one that would never screw him over. Mark, however, Feras was sure would turn against him straight away and would be able to speak well in front of the jury. Meaning that he needed to make sure Mark doesn’t win immunity to guarantee that he goes home. Feras then returned to Caroline, floating the idea of sending Mark from the game if he isn’t immune and then – NO Feras, NO – if Mark does win immunity, she promised to get rid of Ray instead.

Given all we’ve spoken about is immunity, we quickly pivoted to JLP by the shores for the final four immunity challenge where they would race through a massive obstacle course to collect balls and then shoot said balls into a basket. First to win, obvi, jagging immunity. Feras and Mark were neck and neck reeling in their crates before Feras made quick work of the second obstacle. He maintained a minor lead through the third obstacle before Mark closed the gap, applying plenty of pressure as they got to work shooting their baskets. As Caroline and Ray tried to make their way to the end, Mark landed his first two balls, while Feras was stuck at one. Mark then got his eye in, landing ball after ball before Feras too got his eye in and miraculously tied things up with two balls remaining. Sadly for Feras and likely Ray, Mark got his eye back in and landed the final balls, securing himself immunity and some ugly crying, which was quite sweet.

Back at camp, Mark was barely able to suppress a smile as Ray and Feras were positively bereft. Feras opened up to us about feeling like he let down a lot of people in the process of losing the challenge; not just Ray, but also his family and community. He spoke about how he made the choice to vote out Kirby at the previous tribal council as he assumed he would win immunity and as such, now felt like he didn’t belong in the competition. Ray being Ray, he congratulated Mark for winning immunity but admitted that he has three very sad people with him in camp. He then said Mark got lucky, and the fact that he snapped back that it wasn’t luck – I assume as a joke, maybe – shows he may not actually do well in front of the jury.

Mark and Caroline meanwhile locked in their votes on Ray, though he admitted that he no longer trusted Feras would be joining them. He tried to give Caroline the heads up that she is likely making fire, only for them to realise that Feras had made independent final three deals with both of them and as such, they can’t trust him. Meaning they both considered voting him out. Mark, however, admitted that all he really cares about is going to the final three with Caroline as she is an instant win for him, so all he needed to do was convince Ray or Feras to vote the other out as he can beat them in the final immunity challenge. Feras caught up with Caroline to talk about how hard it is for him to consider turning on Ray, particularly given he is worried that Ray will vote for her, he votes for Ray and then Mark and Caroline would stick together to vote Feras out instead.

With that playing on his mind he went back to the shelter to talk to Mark, who assured him that he is to vote out Ray and honour the deal they made. Though given he used the word willing, Feras grew more and more nervous, to the point that Mark decided he was being lied to and as such, would be going to swing for the fences and make Feras look like a fool in front of the jury.

At tribal council Feras spoke about how heartbreaking it was to lose the immunity challenge, as it is once again a time when he has fallen just short. And he truly felt it today. Mark spoke about how the Titans and Rebels have all leaned into their characters, before making a little dig about the fact that Feras didn’t play his idol for Kirby. Feras opened up about his love for Raymond before Mark decided to Mark. As the jury rolled their eyes, he spoke about how Feras had made a final three deal with him and Caroline that were independent of each other. Meaning he is either sticking to his word to them and voting out his closest ally, or lying to them. Which, TBH, seems like something the jury would consider a good thing, but whatever.

Mark couldn’t pick up that the jury couldn’t care less, pointing out that if he played his idol for Kirby the last night, she would still be here. Leading to Feras straight up admitting that he regretted getting rid of Kirby, given she would have immunity and Mark and Caroline would have been dealt with by now. This annoyed Caroline, who argued that getting rid of Kirby was the best move for him, before Mark went back to talking shit about Feras. This hilariously led to Ray calling Mark out for pandering to the jury, essentially telling him it was a really stupid idea and yas, King Ray, YAS.

With that the tribe voted and despite Mark’s best efforts to shame Feras – though that shirt really shamed himself, no? – he stuck with sweet baby Ray and forced a tie between him and Caroline. Given neither Mark or Feras were budging, JLP brought out the fire making kits and Caroline and Ray took their places alongside each other to survive. Feras sweetly got to work coaching Ray to a strong start, only for Caroline to get the first flame. Despite not being as prepped, her fire took, as Ray desperately tried to get a spark leading to us quietly watching it grow as Ray scrapped at the flint. Before Caroline burnt through the rope and eventually put Ray out of his misery.

Like Kirby before him, Ray followed my howling sobs all the way from tribal council to the Jury Villa. As soon as I saw his sweet face, I ran into his arms and broke down even further until I realised something fitting and magical – Ray is officially our Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season. And if that isn’t perfect and a sign that fate is real, I honestly don’t know what is. So I wiped my eyes, congratulated him on being an icon and toasted him joining the illustrious group with a punchy Raymond Chaney Temple Black.

A boozy Shirley Temple? Sign me up! The rum, lemon, lime and grenadine work perfectly to give you a nice little buzz while smacking you with the right balance of tart and sweet. Just like our famed thespian, Ray.

Enjoy!

Raymond Chaney Temple Black
Serves: 2

Ingredients
30ml grenadine
60ml dark rum
½ cup(ish) lemon and lime soda
ice, maraschino cherries and lime, to serve

Method
Fill a short glass with ice. Pour over the grenadine and rum, and stir.

Top with the soda and garnish with the cherries and a slice of lime, before downing and repeating.


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CanDeDeLicious Corn Shots

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the top five put their drag skills to the ultimate test as they welcomed new daughters into their families. By making over workers from the UK’s oldest LGBTQ+ hotline. As is oft the case, the crew were a mixed bag of iconic sheroes, zaddies, bearded hotties and a sweet legendary icon that has lived through all our tragedies, as a reminder of what – and who – we should be grateful for. Given Michael was paired with the legend, she slayed by letting him shine as he delivered a sweet, powerful monologue which I think singlehandedly gave her the win. At the other end of the pack, Kate and DeDe didn’t give enough family resemblance which landed them in the bottom before DeDe Dede-ed, and sent home another badge holder. As that is what she does.

Backstage the dolls were gagged that DeDe managed to get rid of yet another one, though everyone was more heartbroken to lose sweet, beloved Kate. DeDe realised she was now the only non-Geordie left, with the dolls sitting down to talk about how much Michael slayed in the challenge. With Michael vowing to jag a third win this week and rival Ginger for the crown. Tomara meanwhile was an icon, reminding DeDe she is yet to jag a badge and as such, she needs to get one should she have any hope of making it to the end. But given she shook her tits out of her dress, maybe she can defy the odds again, no?

The next day the top four were giddy to be so damn close to the finale, with Michael getting shady and asking Ginger if she predicted this would be the top four when they started. With everyone laughing as she politely declined to answer. After having a right laugh, Tomara shared how she has had such a blast and just doesn’t want it to end. Does she? Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, the dolls would be roasting each other – Gladiators style, for reasons – the judges and their eliminated sisters. Immediately filling DeDe with fear, given she isn’t a known comedy queen, while Michael and Ginger are. Speaking of Michael, she was motivated and ready to dominate. Thankfully, DeDe does have a leg up though, as the person that survived last week, she was given the power to decide the order.

After Ru left, the dolls sat down to kiki with DeDe vowing to try her best to hurt both Michael and Ginger’s chances. Michael immediately requested to go first, while Ginger wisely stayed quiet and Tomara flagged first or second, in the hope of bringing high energy and forcing everyone to match it. Ginger meanwhile hilariously got in DeDe’s head and told her going first will be great, as no one can steal your jokes. Though sadly she gave it to Tomara, snatched second for herself, put Ginger in third and left Michael to close the show. Despite her requesting first, which she assured us, was a mistake.

They split up to talk through their plan, with Ginger and Michael reading DeDe for filth as they all wondered how pressed Vicki will get by their reads. Alan dropped by to kiki with the dolls and ugh, he is just the best, no? He told them teeth jokes are tired as we’ve all heard them, so try to be fresh. The dolls quizzed him about his process before sharing their plans, with Tomara looking to be Tomara and just vibe and do her. Which is beloved by the judges, so smart. DeDe meanwhile didn’t want to be too mean and going by her trial, that won’t be an issue. A lack of laughs, however, may be one.

After Alan left, the dolls split up to beat their mugs as DeDe questioned whether northerners are just more funny. With the trio opening up about how difficult it can be growing up there, so they have to find humour where they can. DeDe spoke up about how bullied she was in school, though thankfully she found her tribe in high school and life opened up to her and ugh, it was just a lovely story. Ginger opened up about being a rugby player and how it was her way to fit in and protect herself, and how it was more drag than drag, given it isn’t her vibe. 

Ru, Michelle and Alan took their places on the panel alongside Aisling Bea as the eliminated queens filled out the audience ready for more humiliation. As the Dragiators Roast kicked off, Tomara was 100% Tomara and ugh, it was a slay. She leant into the Gladiator schtick and brutalised everyone. Except for Michelle, who just got compliments. DeDe too was solid with some absolute savage reads – poor Aisling and her 1 out of 10 cat looks – and damn, if she didn’t bomb despite her nerves, is anyone? Ginger opened with a death drop and went a mile a minute spitting joke after joke and having everyone in stitches. And then, somehow, Michael was even better delivering a blistering, brutal set that had everyone begging to be read. Without even referring to a card.

On the Poofs on Parade runway DeDe was glorious in a golden, shimmering, puffy pantsuit. Tomara was ravishing in a full length lace gown with a boofy bottom – we’re all bottoms, obvi – giving body with the seethrough and yeah, its a win. Ginger was a gloriously hooped, hypercolour damsel before Michael closed the show with a sickening asymmetrical puffer jacket, complete with Angelina leg.

Tomara received wall to wall praise despite the judges not really knowing what they were watching, but she was all energy and so charming. And when it came to the runway, they lived for her giving glamour. DeDe was praised for some stellar jokes and not letting the ones that didn’t land get her down. Though she was deemed the star of the runway this week, as a human ferrero rocher. As is tradition, Ginger was absolutely beloved despite a reliance on her cards, and her power of always doing something different on the runway. Michael meanwhile got even better marks, and they loved her old rich euro doll vibe on the runway.

Backstage the top four got to kiki with the eliminated queens including Naomi’s tits, however not Cara, who was sick. Ginger shared she did well, while Vicki praised Michael for absolutely dominating. DeDe spoke about how proud of her the judges were, though admitted she is still nervous. While Tomara was happy to get good critiques, though turned attention to Vicki to find out who she wasn’t rooting for. With her awkwardly, aggressively pointing out she thinks DeDe is awful and sneaky. And like, what? Calm down Vicki, you’re just bitter you’re a filler on the season. Thankfully Ginger stepped in for DeDe to assure her that is not how she is and she knows she isn’t sneaky. DeDe meanwhile, was kind and apologised to Alexis, again, who reiterated that all is forgiven. Begging the question, Vicki, what’s good?

Ginger and Michael were both deemed stars, with the latter taking out her third win while both of them were sent through to the finale. Leaving Tomara and DeDe to battle it out for the final slot to my nemesis Annie Lennox’s Little Bird. And while DeDe once again slayed the game, Tomara was fired up and desperate to stick around, hitting every lyric and giving light and shade. And as such, booked her ticket to the finale, sending DeDe out of the competition. Finally.

As DeDe arrived backstage, I pulled her and her breastplate in for a massive hug and assured her that like in Australian Survivor, fourth place in Drag Race UK is for icons only and as such, she kinda won. Which is lapped right up, thrilled with the peptalk and to be in the company of one Ms Hole. So all we had to do was laugh at Vicki’s grab for screentime in untucked and plot how she could make it to the end of All Stars. Because you know she is coming back like you know I love a CanDeDeLicious Corn Shots.

While we kinda missed the boat for Halloween, in the words of Season 7 Mrs Kasha Davis, there is always time for a cocktail. Or at the very least a jello shot. And TBH, I would argue these are even better than candied corn. Sweet and punchy, I don’t think I’m alone in that assessment.

Enjoy!

CanDeDeLicious Corn Shots
Makes: 20.
Tweaked from A Beautiful Mess.

Ingredients
2 cups water
3 gelatin leaves
200g sweetened condensed milk
1 cup vodka
yellow food colouring
85g orange jelly crystals

Method
Pour a cup of water into a saucepan and add 2 leaves of gelatin. Warm over low heat, stirring infrequently, or until dissolved. Remove from the pan and stir in half the can of condensed milk until combined. Add ⅔ cup of vodka, stir, divide into two bowls. Divide half amongst 20 shot glasses, pop on a tray and transfer to the fridge to set for half an hour. 

While that is setting, combine the remaining water with the remaining gelatin leaf and cook over low heat until dissolved. Remove from heat and stir in the orange jelly and the remaining vodka. Remove from heat and allow to chill. When the white jelly is set, pour the orange into the shot glasses to add the second layer and then transfer to the fridge to set for another half an hour.

Finally, stir a few drops of yellow food colouring in the remaining jelly. Divide amongst the shots, return to the fridge and leave until fully set. Then half an hour or so later, toss back and devour.


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The Ritsifu Alsup

Drink, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Bruce returned for another shot at the competition, and almost instantly Katurah developed a deep hatred for his antics. And complained about him in an iconic fashion for six episodes. Sadly for her, he found an idol behind her back – with the help of the rest of the tribe, no less – just before the tribes came together for the non-merge. Kaleb was a sweet icon, winning hearts and minds as soon as they came together. Sadly for him, that led to a deep jealousy from Bruce who quickly turned the tribe against him for being too much of a threat. Thankfully Queen Emily didn’t want to lose her only fellow Lulu, so covertly told him he needed to play his Shot in the Dark. Which he promptly did, earning his safety and negating all 11 votes cast at tribal council. As such, the group had to revote and poor J. copped the stray and found herself out of the game.

Back at camp the tribe was buzzing from the excitement of tribal council, none more so than Kaleb, who congratulated everyone for making the merge. He thanked everyone for treating him with such kindness despite him being at the bottom, while everyone congratulated him for breaking multiple records on his way to making the merge. Though you best believe he knows he still has no allies. Everyone split up, with Bruce confronting Katurah in front of Drew and Austin, then Kaleb and Dee, about the fact she was on the fence about voting Kaleb and suggested that she looped him in on the need to play the Shot in the Dark. Thankfully she kept things calm in front of everyone, pulling him aside in front of her fellow Belo women, to request that he ask those sorts of questions just in front of her.

And just like that, what he thought was a brilliant play to single her out is potentially going to be the thing that ends his game. Hopefully, at least.

The next day Kaleb and Katurah caught up, with the icon quickly looping Kaleb in on the fact that Bruce is a messy, dirty rat and was the one that tried to take down Kaleb. He in turn agreed that he always felt Bruce was out to get him, given he was jealous of how likeable he was. Katurah decided to go lead the charge to get rid of Bruce instead, as unaware to her, Kendra was already talking to Kellie about getting rid of him ASAP. Sadly for the Ks and the audience, Kellie felt like she was Bruce’s number one and as such didn’t want to kill him too quickly. Kaleb and Emily meanwhile caught up, with her assuring him that she wants to work with him, but they just need to bide their time to get rid of more numbers. Emily caught up with Austin, who was vibing with his full powered idol, hopeful to coast by until he could get rid of Kellie and jag a solo steal a vote.

Austin and Sifu were doing some sort of sparring they knew before Bruce jumped in and tried to explain how to do it better, annoying everyone in the process. Kaleb looked on, laughing to himself that it is clear that Bruce only has an extra 14 hours of playing time on the rest of the cast, given he is such a mess. And far from being considered a returnee. Kaleb found Jake and floated the idea of getting rid of Bruce and while Jake wanted to work with Kaleb, he knew he needed to keep numbers for now and as such, got to work bridging the gap between them instead. However when Bruce and Kaleb caught up, Bruce went on some stupid, nonsensical story explaining life to him and yeah, Kaleb has zero desire to work with the pain in the arse.

Sensing he is dislikable, Bruce caught up with Kellie who tried to caution him about running his mouth too much and making himself a target. And while Kellie felt like she didn’t want to get rid of him, she is also exhausted about babysitting the old man. She found Jake to have a nice vent, talking about how Bruce’s mouth will be their downfall if they aren’t careful and as such, they need to lock in Emily and Kaleb to work with them. And keep Bruce as silent as possible.

The tribe joined with Probst for the iconic hold-on-a-telegraph-pole-for-as-long-as-possible challenge. You know the one, Parvati held on casually while everyone else dropped like flies. Oh and given the new era needs a twist, they’d be split into two groups with the winner of each winning immunity as tonight will be a double tribal council. And the one that lasts the longest win’s their group a trip to the sanctuary for tacos and earns the person eliminated from the group a place on the jury. Because the first person voted out will be the last pre-jury member, which TBH, is fucking brutal. And. I. Love. It.

Dee, Julie, Katurah, Jake, Austin and Kaleb formed one group, while Bruce, Sifu, Kendra, Kellie and Emily were competing for the second immunity. But TBH, we kinda know Dee and her long toes are winning this, right? Almost instantly, Emily dropped, followed closely by Queen Julie. And then Queen Kendra, our resident Drew Barrymore impressionist. Jake joined the exodus, followed by Sifu and Bruce, leaving Kellie and Drew to battle for one of the immunities. Austin dropped as Drew started to slide down his pole – yas, king – before ultimately dropping and handing Kellie immunity. She hung in there hoping for reward, as Kaleb dropped, leaving Dee and Katurah battling for the second immunity. Wait, no Katurah dropped, handing Dee the other immunity, leaving her to battle Kellie for the reward. And as predicted, Dee and her super toes slayed, as Kellie fell after 17 minutes.

Meaning Dee’s toes guaranteed everyone in her group a place on the jury.

We followed the losers as they were rightly cast aside to the old Lulu camp. Kellie apologised for screwing everyone out of the tacos, and presumably the jury. Drew caught up with Bruce, offering up a Sifu blindside given he knows the Belos have the upper hand. As he went person to person to beg, Kendra admitted that she would actually be keen to blindside Bruce so he doesn’t get paranoid or worse, idol someone out of the game. As she looped in Drew, Sifu and Emily, Bruce was busy talking to Kellie about how he thinks he is Kendra’s target tonight. Leaving Kellie to try and broker peace between her feuding allies.

Sifu and Emily caught up, with the former having a bad feeling that he will be the one to go for no other reason than everyone wants a Reba out the door. Meanwhile Kellie and Kendra were looping each other in on their relevant intel, with Kellie begging Kendra to assure Bruce that she isn’t coming for him. And while he is annoying, nobody wants to take him to the end. And if he made it, nobody would vote for him, anyway. As such, Kendra approached Drew about changing the vote to Sifu and after assuring Bruce that she wants to work with him, all appeared to be locked in. 

Nervous, Drew pulled Kendra aside to try and sway her back to Bruce. As Kendra tried to assure Bruce she wasn’t against him, he started to rail against her to Kellie, threatening to play his idol as he just can not trust her. Making everyone feel confused and chaotic as they headed out to tribal.

At said tribal council everyone spoke about how they can’t catch a break with all the twists, Drew talking specifically about the fact this tribal carries a lot of weight, given one of them won’t make the jury. Kendra wisely spoke about this tribal council affording her the opportunity to make it to the end and solidify loyalty, before Bruce shut it down saying loyalty changes day by day. Womp womp. Kellie spoke about the confusion of all the random draws and how they still await a vote where everyone is an option. Sifu spoke about his spidey sense that something is afoot and that he is confident he is a target, with Bruce agreeing that he also feels it. Though is trying to trust in the conversations he has had. Sifu, thankfully, called bullshit and spoke about there being a clear split in this group, however all he can do is sell himself as a meatshield. Kendra meanwhile spoke about how it may look like they are Belo strong, but that nobody should assume. Which Bruce jumped on, adding more mystery and confusion to the proceedings.

With that the group voted and Sifu’s gut proved correct as everyone banded together to send Sifu out of the game and all the way home, cursing him to being undateable as a pre-jury finisher. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and lamented that while his outcome truly sucks, there is something special about being screwed by a twist in the eyes of a fan. And maybe, just maybe, that will be enough to earn him a second chance season. Or something. I was on a time crunch to celebrate his time on the island but get him to the airport before the next boot arrived, so I quickly threw together a The Ritsifu Alsup as a toast out the door.

This fresh, sweet twist on the ritz cocktail is near perfect. A little tart, rich and sweet and delightfully fizzy, it is the right level of festive fun which we truly need now. Forever. And always, TBH. Surprise pre-juror or not.

Enjoy!

The Ritsifu Alsup
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
15ml cointreau
5ml lemon juice
5ml maraschino
20ml cognac
45ml champagne

Method
Pop everything by the champagne in a cocktail shaker, fill with ice and shake until smooth and chill.

Strain into a glass, top with champagne and down. Repeat as required. Responsibly, of course.


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Cider Mimosabiyah Broderick

Drink, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Bruce was still all energy, at an 11 at any and all moments, which continued to drive Katurah absolutely mental. And given it was annoying me through the TV, I love her even more. Kellie and Brando meanwhile were busy playing in the middle of Belo, given both the girls and boys wanted to take control with them. If they ever go to tribal council, that is. At Reba, Austin had the beware advantage and secured a majority with Drew as he emerged as an icon, against everything I was expecting. Over at Lulu, Sabiyah released the idol from the tree only to learn she had to melt it out of wax to activate it. And while they didn’t have fire, it wasn’t necessary as after Emily was reborn thanks to Kaleb’s advice, Brandon was booted.

Back at camp Emily was grateful to have been spared, with everyone agreeing that she at least contributes in challenges and as such, that is why she was kept. Sabiyah admitted she also liked her and as such, she returned her Shot in the Dark and the four agreed they could now move forward with trust. That is until Emily quickly ran the maths and realised that only three people voted and asked if one of them didn’t vote. Before she went one step further and questioned Sabiyah about whether she was the one that didn’t vote. And while Sabiyah denied it and Emily kinda let it go, it is clear that these two still have a ways to go if we want them to make it to the end.

The next day Jake was trying to breathe like into the fire and then collapsed and had a mild seizure and yeah, it was scary to watch and I don’t like it. Kendra, thankfully, was way more zen, sitting him down and making sure he was ok before grabbing him some water. The duo bonded over how much they were loving being on Survivor, before Kendra admitted that she was initially nervous of him and wanted to target him for being a lawyer. They continued to bond and be adorbs, TBH, making me feel like this womens’ alliance is over before it began.

Over at Reba, the starving tribe were contemplating what they would eat, as a crab literally hung out in their pot. Austin meanwhile was focused on jagging his idol, pulling Drew aside to stand watch. As Austin dug about and Drew loitered in the shrubs, Dee was busy asking Julie if she felt something was off between Austin and Drew. Right on cue, the ladies walked up on Drew digging and while he awkwardly wandered off, Drew expertly threw out a lie that they caught Sifu digging and as such wanted to jag whatever it was before he did. Dee being an icon, however, was wary and knew to keep an eye on the boys, lest it ruin their alliance before they even attended tribal council.

The tribes caught up with Probst for the first reward challenge of the season where they would race into shore and toss a ball into a trough before running through an obstacle and catching it. Once they get through, they would release rings and then land them on a post for massive plates of fruit. And the victors would get to loot something from one of the losing tribes. Lulu miraculously got out to an early lead and despite Emily axing herself on the first run of the obstacles, they managed to stay in front and landed all their rings before anyone even started tossing. As they celebrated, the other tribes desperately fought for second before Reba snatched it, leaving Belo with nothing.

After Reba and Belo were sent away, Lulu locked in Kaleb as their representative as he ventured off to raid. Only for him to discover he also had a Goodwill Advantage to give to one of his new friends, which grants them the power to restore a lost vote at a single tribal council. As the other tribes speculated about their plans, Kaleb arrived at Reba and quickly got to work bonding with everyone, as Sifu and J. Maya put on a little show. Kaleb then snatched their fishing gear before asking to talk to each of them one on one, before deciding to hand the advantage to Drew given he has already proven to be a gamer as he participated on the journey. Oh and then he assured them he will tell Lulu to work with them should there be a swap before he departed.

As Drew quickly looped in Austin, Dee and Julie on his new advantage.

Back at Lulu the tribe joyously smashed their fruit, thrilled to finally have a taste of victory and hopeful to be vibing with energy at the next immunity challenge. And after a full belly, Sean and Sabiyah loved Emily’s newfound energy and as such, decided they could bring her in on their alliance and potentially get rid of Kaleb if they have to return to tribal council, given he is so strong in challenges and would dominate if he is allowed to get to the final three. They then pulled Emily in to float the idea and while she knows she is on the outs and therefore would vote for anyone if they go back to tribal council, I still think she is more likely to stick with Kaleb.

Over at Belo the tribe were zen as the boys fished and lived their best lives, while the girls remained at camp and discussed Jake and whether they could work with him. Katurah obviously suggested that he would be a way better person to work with rather than Bruce. Kellie meanwhile was torn, given she and Brando are the swing votes and as such, approached him to see which way he was leaning.

Meanwhile at Reba, Austin admitted to Julie and Dee that he just found a Beware Advantage and as such, they all went hunting for the idol to help him get his vote back. Thankfully Dee and Julie found a rope, leading them to a hammer which directed them to smash a rock near the water well. Before they handed it off to Austin who finally jagged the idol and learnt it is only good for one tribal council, unless he sacrifices a vote to make it last to the merge. And if he sacrifices another vote, it would be good all the way up to the final five. And while Dee wanted to keep it for herself, she was glad they got to prove trust, as a strong alliance is worth so much more.

The tribes came together with Jeffrey for the latest immunity challenge where they would race through a course to release keys and collect puzzle pieces before using them to solve a massive cube puzzle. Belo and Reba got out to an early lead before Lulu closed the gap and started to overtake Reba. As is oft the case, the puzzle was the great equaliser as everyone grew more and more confused. And Bruce grew more and more frustrated, annoying even the rival tribes. Before Reba got the puzzle out of nowhere, quickly followed by Belo, sending poor Lulu back to tribal council yet again.

To the strings of heartbroken music, no less.

Back at camp things were well and truly flat, as everyone was angry about the fact they are the only ones that even know what attending tribal council is like. Kaleb quickly locked in the vote against Emily, as Sabiyah and Kaleb agreed to suggest the other to keep her calm enough to not play her Shot in the Dark. Oh and Sabiyah plans to melt her idol in the fire at tribal council to get her vote back. She then caught up with Emily, telling her about her idol plans and while that was done to try and build trust with her, it actually made Emily nervous about the fact she kept it a secret from her for 4 days. As such, Emily caught up with Kaleb and let him know that he is the actual plan tonight. Sadly for her though, he isn’t exactly sure about that, given that is the plan he and Sabiyah planned to tell Emily and as such, he isn’t sure who to trust.

At tribal council Sabiyah immediately got to melting her idol free as she filled Jeff in on what was going on. And damn, this is camp as hell and is 100% why I love this show. Kaleb meanwhile spoke about the camp raid and how they got fishing gear, though can’t actually cook anything yet, so at least he got information too. Emily spoke about feeling responsible for being back at tribal council, and while she would love to stay, she still feels like she is on the bottom of the tribe. Which Sabiyah agreed with, either truthfully or to lull Kaleb into a false sense of security. She then pulled her scroll off the grill to cool down as Kaleb admitted Emily spent the afternoon trying to find a way to stay, with everyone agreeing that she could have painted anyone as a target. Before Sabiyah packed her idol in her pocket.

With that the tribe voted and Sabiyah learnt about the fact she would have to risk her vote if she wanted to extend the life of her idol, which she obviously chose to do. Sadly for her, Kaleb heeded Emily’s warnings as the duo banded together to blindside Sabiyah from the game with a still active idol in her pocket.

She followed the sound of my sobbing cries all the way from tribal council to Loser Lodge before sweeping me in for a massive hug and assured me that everything would be fine. Despite only lasting a few episodes, Sabiyah well and truly left a mark on the game and arguably, will go down as one of the most iconic pre-mergers of the new era. Recency bias, be damned. After drying my eyes, I thanked her for her televisual service and toasted her return ASAP with a Cider Mimosabiyah Broderick or two.

Given we’re on a literal slay ride to Christmas, I am well and truly in the festive spirit and this little cocktail is a perfect way to start. Light and spicy, it is perfect for a Thanksgiving or Christmas brunch. Or afternoon tea. Or lunch. Or just because, hey, it’s Wednesday, no judgement.

Enjoy!

Cider Mimosabiyah Broderick
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
¼ cup raw caster sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
120ml spiced rum
240ml apple cider
480ml chilled sparkling wine
apple, sliced, to garnish

Method
Combine the sugar and cinnamon in a bowl and wet the rim of two glasses with cider. Dip in the cinnamon sugar to coat.

Pour half the rum in  each glass, followed by half the cider and then top with sparkling. Add a slice of apple to the rim then, most importantly, down.


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Ivanna Drink

Drink, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls took some erotic boudoir photos with the help of the Pit Crew. Obviously the resulting images ranged from smutty and trashy to sexy and camp, so it was a big win in my book. Ru then surprised them by announcing they were all  invited to Muriel’s Wedding, and that they’d be making their own outfits to attend. Out of the bedding they just brutalised. The outfits ranged from bad to worse, with Ivory and Rita bombing badly, while Ivanna’s well constructed dress landed her in the bottom three for being unlined and unsteamed. Which seemed harsh, comparatively. Isis meanwhile took out victory as a blushing bride, while Ivory and Rita lined up to lip sync for their lives. Only Ivory fainted and it got delayed. Though I did serve her up a little treat to help perk her back up and give her a fighting chance.

The next day after Ru swatted a fly – I assume the one that came for Flor episode 1 – Rita and Ivory took their places on the stage ready for the briefly delayed execution. And as soon as Murder on the Dancefloor kicked off, it was clear our Kiwi icon had no interest in going home. She was silly, sassy and a little slutty and while she looked like she bruised her coccyx on a split, there was no denying she was winning. So despite my culinary boost, poor Ivory was sent to sashay away. Though got paid for a third episode, like a damn icon.

The rest of the dolls were sitting in the Werk Room waiting to find out who was going home and while most of them felt Ivory wouldn’t be returning, Isis felt her redemption story could just be enough to save her. While Hollywould just wanted her to stick around so they could bond enough for her to give her one of her wigs. Ru then dropped by to confirm most of their suspicions, as Rita sashayed back into the competition. And to celebrate, this week they would be starring in an Ultimate Girls Trip reunion for the Fake Housewives of Down Under, hosted by Rhys. Which immediately filled sweet Rita with dread, given she is not an actress.

Thankfully though, she got to be a team captain – alongside Isis, as the winner of the previous challenge – so could surround herself with strong queens. Isis wisely selected Gabriella first, followed by Hollywould and Ivanna, while Rita went with Bumpa, Flor – against her wishes – and was left with Ashley. Though bless, Ashley was looking forward to proving them all wrong since nobody chose her.

After Ru departed, the groups split up to work through their outlines with Team Isis feeling super confident. Particularly Gabriella, who desperately wanted the role of Shazza but when Isis asked for it instead, she pointed out that she would slay any role and as such, she was happy to just take whatever was leftover. And oh god, she is going to slay, isn’t she? Even with the character with minimal screen time. The dolls turned their attention to the other team with everyone agreeing Flor struggles to pick up on jokes and as such, improv could be a problem for her. But TBH, I am confident she is going to be one of the stars of the team. And by one of, she will shine with Bumpa. While Rita wanted the housewife recently released from prison, given it reminds her of her family, she ultimately let it go to Bumpa and took the anchor piece. Which furthers my theory Bumpa will be unstoppable.

Team Isis were first up to set with Rhys, with Gabriella a star from start to finish, while Hollywould was bland and Ivanna was forgettable. Isis was kinda solid though? In Team Rita, Flor and Bumpa were completely demented from start to finish while Ashley took chewing up the scenery literally, chewing gum and not much else. And well, Rita’s fears were sadly realised as she bombed. Bad. Though to be fair, you’d probably describe both of the scenes that way. Producers, call me if you want an interesting acting challenge next year, ok? I mean, Gaybours is right there.

Elimination Day arrived with Gabriella admitting she is feeling rather confident about taking out the win, while Rita was pretty much at peace with lip syncing. Flor felt she well and truly did enough to be safe, while Bumpa was worried she didn’t do enough. Ivanna meanwhile split the difference, completely sure she did enough to be safe, while her sisters viewed her performance as bottom worthy. The dolls split up to beat their villainous mugs, cackling through it and just being all around delights, TBH.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys – thankfully still full of jokes – were joined on the panel by Adam Lambert as Rita kicked off the Bad Girls Gone Bad Runway looking perfect as a slutty, female Riff Raff. Bumpa served ancient queen of the damned, Flor was glorious as Ezma – iconic – Ashley gave glamour Catwoman, Ivanna gave a more basic Catwoman, Isis gave Gaga in AHS Hotel and well, it was perfection. Hollywould gave the upcycled version of Bumpa’s look and Gabriella was a stunning Harley Quinn, complete with roller skating.

Ashley and Hollywould were sent to safety before Rita was read for just being safe in the challenge, despite everyone agreeing both of her looks were stunning. Bumpa meanwhile was beloved for giving a demented yet grounded performance, Flor was praised for being absolutely bonkers, despite it annoying the shit out of Michelle. Oh and then Ru mistook her saying her villain was Ezma as It’s Mine, which had her cackling. So yeah, she is definitely safe. Ivanna meanwhile was read for being safe and forgettable in the challenge, while they loved her look but wished she gave some wig. Isis was loved for all that she did, while Gabriella was ditto ten fold, given she was the clear breakout of the episode.

Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, while Hollywould was pressed given she was sure she was a top in the challenge and the best on the runway. As they speculated who would be lip syncing, the tops and bottoms rejoined them with Gabriella thrilled for her as-yet-unannounced-win, while everyone was shocked about Bumpa being in the top. Even Bumpa. Ashley was obviously pressed about it and confronted her, while Bumpa gave zero fucks, given they are both safe and just doesn’t care. Ivanna meanwhile was in her head, disappointed that she appears to be choking every time she is in front of the red light.

Ultimately Gabriella did take out the win before Bumpa, Flor and Isis were sent to safety, leaving Ivanna and Rita to battle for the final slot. And as soon as Glambert’s version of Holding Out for a Hero started, it was clear the dolls were down for a fight. Ivanna was fun and high energy while Rita was in the pocket the entire time, feeling all the emotion and hitting every letter. So despite bookending the episode in the bottom, she lived to fight another day as Ivanna was sent out the door. In eighth place. Just like Anita.

After she got off the phone to Anita, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that like Anita, she left a mark on the competition. She was upbeat and fun, and frankly a little bit robbed in Week 2, which according to my calculations, almost makes her a robbed goddess and if you land in the middle of the pack, that is better than outstaying your welcome. While that was obviously a shitty peptalk, it seemed to do enough of a trick as Ivanna was giddily happy afterwards. Though maybe that had more to do with the round after round of Ivanna Drinks I served up?

Packing a glorious punch of tart raspberry and lime, this cocktail is the perfect refreshing drink for a warm spring afternoon. Or to drown your sorrows after having your dreams crushed in a reality competition series.

Enjoy!

Ivanna Drink
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
lime wedges and sea salt flakes, for rim
¾ cup frozen pitted cherries
½ cup bourbon
⅓ cup fresh lime juice
2 tbsp simple syrup
soda water, to top up

Method
Rub a lime wedge around the rim of two old fashioned glasses and dip with sea salt.

Pop the cherries, bourbon, lime juice and syrup in a blender, and blitz on high until cherries are completely blended and you’ve got a deep red drink. 

Ice the glass, pour over the cocktail and top with a dash of soda water. Then down.


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Darienne Blakeberry Martini

Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars, fresh off touring together – and knowing they were massive threats as a runner-up and Ru’s fave, respectively – Kandy and Jimbo vowed to keep each other safe. Along with their fellow tour mate – and another Ru fave – Heidi. That wasn’t necessary yet, however, as The Supermarket Ball saw them all thrive to varying degrees, alongside Alexis and Jessica. On the other hand, it proved to be a struggle for our old gals with MKD proud that can’t sew – she is not Amish and has good credit, after all – and Darienne struggling with the finishing touches. Before taking the runway, Heidi admitted she wasn’t sure if she’d vote on track record, which made Kahanna nervous, given it is what saved her the week before. Ultimately she didn’t have to worry as MKD and Darienne landed in the bottom, Heidi threatened to quit for being safe, while Jessica’s creativity won out and then she beat lip sync assassin Ra’Jah to jag $30k. And tragically eliminate MKD.

Backstage the dolls were exhausted but thrilled to have made it through the ball, while Jessica was gagged to have won more money in the lip sync than the winner of her original season. Jessica admitted that she saved Darienne because she clearly has the fire and that MKD essentially told her she was good to go. The dolls sat down, leading to Darienne counting out the lipsticks with Jaymes and Jimbo admitting to being two of the votes, given they are sticking to voting solely on track record. Jessica meanwhile got iconic, asking if anyone wants to admit they aren’t happy with her win, with Kahanna telling her that she was shocked, though not disappointed. Jaymes spoke about really wanting it but assured her that she was proud of her, with Heidi also talking about not thinking she was going to win but being proud of her nonetheless. And while the congratulations sucked, trust and believe Jessica was fired up to continue slaying and send them home one by one. Like an icon.

The next day Heidi’s energy was back up, ready to jag her first win by smashing a hyman – or heisman, who knows – before the dolls lolled about MKD’s mess of a final dress. After Jimbo tossed her salad at the dolls, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be writing and filming trailers for new shows. And to assign teams, they’d need to smash balloons with the Pit Crew, so fucking swoon. Lala was topped by Bruno into the green team, Kahanna bottomed for Bryce into green before Kandy took it from Bruno until she landed on the purple team. Darienne haphazardly topped Bryce into the blue, Heidi also bottomed for Bruno into green, Jessica was eiffel towered into purple, Jaymes was choked into blue, Bryce took it from Alexis into blue before Jimbo rounded out purple. Despite not getting face fucked, as per her request.

After everyone tidied up, the groups split up to brainstorm their shows with Alexis, Darienne and Jaymes trying to pick a genre, and while Jaymes has voted for Darienne twice now, she lived for Darienne’s island of fake-dead celebs ala Lost. And while Alexis felt like it was too convoluted to sell in a short time, she trusted her sisters were funny enough to make it work. Kahanna, Lala and Heidi were focused on logic and humour, going with two dumb dumbs trying to kidnap a hottie. Who ultimately escapes because her tucking panties are rank. Jimbo, Jessica and Kandy – aka the winning team – were going with Heathers does Carrie, until Kandy suggested spoofs won’t take out victory given the judges may not think they are creative. And since Jimbo and Kandy argued over who should play the killer – one of them or the Pit Crew – maybe I jinxed them and Heidi is finally going to get her win. Because Jimbo is right in thinking Ru just wants to laugh and doesn’t care about logic.

We followed them straight to set to film with Emmy winner Michelle Visage where Kandy struggled to fake-out with Bryce, Jessica slayed faking a blow job with Bruno before Jimbo tried to pull lippie out of all the holes. And while Michelle was worried they’d get cancelled, I am hopeful this is going to be a hilarious, sexy classic. Lala and Heidi meanwhile were unhinged in all the right ways, which made Kahanna nervous about not being up to their level. Darienne meanwhile was still vibing her concept, Alexis was smutty and Jaymes was surprisingly off and damn, I hope this is a fake out because I am rooting for them to have their breakout moment this week.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to work through the key art for their shows, with Team Run Queen Run – Lala, Heidi and Kahanna – quickly locking something before kikiing about how the other teams did. Alexis meanwhile was nervous about their commercial, given Michelle gave them nothing during filming. Kandy and Jimbo meanwhile spoke about the fact the dolls view them as the biggest threats, speculating that if they land in the bottom, they will definitely be going home. They then formed an alliance with Jessica, vowing to protect each other should that happen. They called over Alexis to talk about how her team went with Alexis confident she wasn’t the worst, hinting it is Jaymes and gurl, please leave her alone. Kandy meanwhile checked in with how Heidi was feeling and while I think it was genuine, Heidi returned to being flustered, feeling like Kandy was trying to make her appear weak in front of everyone and paint a target on her back. Heidi then went off, telling Lala that she has tea that was spilled off camera and trust, if and when she reveals it, it will turn besties into enemies real fast.

Ru, Michelle and TS were joined by young Maude Apatow as the Ass The World Turns runway was opened – all the way up – by Jaymes in an iconic Mayan goddess bodysuit with all the curves in all the right places. Darienne gave golden space warrior, Alexis gave bridal badonkadonk – complete with natural cake – Kandy served anime blow-up doll realness, Jessica was glamorous in white – with a kiss on her arse, to boot – Jimbo gave the alien, upmarket version of Kandy’s runway, Heidi zagged serving slutty Eeyore, Kahanna served the journey to her implanted butt before Lala closed the show in a stunning red suit in front with a full arse out, in the back.

When it came to their commercials, Get Off Island was a bit of a mess but still fun, as Darienne played a stunning bimbo. Jessica, Kandy and Jimbo meanwhile were perfect from start to finish, with Jimbo the breakout of Best Friends 4 Never as she turned into a murderous nerd. While group Run Queen Run were fun and camp, though it was mainly due to Heidi and Lala’s accent work. Ru then gagged the dolls announcing that this week would be judged as teams, with Run Queen Run sent to safety before Jaymes received praise for her Marilyn, though was read for their commercial not having any laughs. Though her look was beloved. Darienne was praised for slaying her role and looking the best she’s ever looked, though read for not giving enough jokes. While Alexis was deemed the best on the runway, though their sketch was just pleasant. 

Obviously Alexis immediately threw Darienne under the bus for coming up with the concept as she apologised to the judges. Darienne meanwhile pointed out that everything has been done before, so she felt it was a good concept. Moving on to the other group Kandy received universal praise for her mean girl schtick while the judges lived for the spoof concept, given it gave them room to play. Oh and they loved her outfit. Jessica too was beloved though Michelle cautioned that she needed to add more highlights to her make-up. While Jimbo received all the top marks, given she is a star and was far and away the best actress across all the commercials. Which is why she took out her second victory of the season, while all three of the bottom team were up for elimination. Officially.

Backstage Heidi, Lala and Kahanna were thrilled to be safe, with the latter thrilled that her implants and the runway saved her. The trio spoke about how fun a week they had, putting that down as the reason for succeeding. Kahanna meanwhile thanked her sisters for helping her get the confidence to slay and ugh, I love this for them. Talked turned to Heidi’s moment last week, with her admitting she is grateful to have cleared her head and be able to just have fun. They then started speculating who the tops and bottoms would be, agreeing that the school girls would definitely be winning while one of the islanders would be getting off.

As they spoke about Darienne being an icon, the tops and bottoms joined and immediately confirmed their suspicions on placements. Alexis again spoke about wishing she had mentioned she wasn’t vibing on the concept, with Darienne pointing out she could have thrown out ideas but she didn’t and her calling out Darienne felt like she was excusing herself of any blame. And while I get what Alexis is saying, it wasn’t nice. Good TV, but not nice. Jaymes was first to kiki with Jimbo pointing out she has had a solid run thus far and as such, she feels she should stay and continue her rudemption. And given they were vibing, we can mark her down as definitely safe. Darienne meanwhile agreed with the dolls that while her track record hasn’t been great, she doesn’t really feel like people should focus on track records. Alexis immediately refuted that, saying there should be grace for one stumble and she is here for both herself and her sisters. Despite throwing one under the bus.

Alexis was next to kiki with Jimbo, with Jimbo straight up asking her to identify who should go home with Alexis saying Darienne owned the concept and as such, that would be a reason to go home while Jaymes was also the weakest performance. While Jimbo hilariously wanted to send her out for not having her sisters’ back. Jaymes meanwhile told the dolls that her track record should speak for herself and that she has come a long way. Oh and she will shit in everyone’s station if they kick her out. Darienne meanwhile assured Jimbo that keeping her will be best for her game, and that if she were saved, there will be undying loyalty and werk, Darienne. Let’s hope Jimbo rewards her wanting to play the game, rather than punishes it.

Oh and then Maude dropped by and was so cute and sweet, but that is all. 

With that the dolls voted before Jimbo took her place on stage where she learnt that this lip sync she’d be losing to the OG drama queen, Shannel. As soon as Joan Jett’s Bad Reputation kicked off however, Jimbo looked ready to win her first lip sync as she served rocker in all the right ways. Sadly for her though, so did Shannel. And well, she had a little Vegas showgirl reveal alongside some comedy tricks, complete with broken nails, which was enough to secure her the win, making Jimbo 0 from 5. After she took her place at the back of the stage, Shannel announced that despite a solid week where she wouldn’t have been in the bottom if it wasn’t judged in groups, poor Darienne’s return was cut short. And ugh, I am heartbroken.

As Darienne arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug as I sobbed, gutted to have lost our old dames back to back. I then apologised for not being a massive fan in Season 6, with Darienne reminding me that isn’t really relevant, though I wanted her to know how drastically my opinion had changed. Darienne – the icon who served your mother darns socks in hell – has always been a polished, talented performer, however this season, it felt like she had less to prove so she was just vibing and having fun. And in turn, I had fun watching her slay – despite what the placements would have you believe – which to me, more than earns her a toast with a Darienne Blakeberry Martini.

Sweet, tart and a little bit sour, this drink has it all. The blackberry, lemon and gin work perfectly to refresh your palate and cleanse the soul, to avoid the socks in hell sitch.

Enjoy!

Darienne Blakeberry Martini
Serves: a lake’s worth, or 4.

Ingredients
2 cups blackberries
¼ cup crème de cassis
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 cup gin
2 tbsp Triple Sec
1 tbsp sugar syrup
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice, plus lemon wedges to prep
kosher salt

Method
Blitz the blackberries, creme de cassis and sugar in a blender until smooth and strain into a jug.

Fill a martini shaker with ice, top with the gin, triple sec, lemon juice, sugar syrup and ⅓ cup of the berry puree. Shake like a polaroid picture, which you’re not meant to do, for about 20 seconds, or until well combined.

Rub the rims of the glasses with lemon and press into a little bit of salt – I know, very marg, but I’m a salty gal. Divide the martini amongst the glasses, then down, like the legend you are.


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