Parvzerotti Shallow

Australian Survivor, Main, Pizza, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor: Australia V The World, Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor seven iconic Aussies were marooned in the Samoan wilderness, alongside seven icons from around the globe for the ultimate battle. 25 years in the making. There were people calling themselves gods and kings, there were black widows and icons and some unknowns from smaller franchises, destined to become modern legends. From the very first moments, things were kind of wild as David approached South Africa’s Rob to form a cross tribal alliance at the very first challenge. Tragically for David, it didn’t go far, as after the World tribe lost the immunity challenge, Parvati tried to bond with Rob by telling him David mentioned wanting to work with him while filming DONDI (the month before). Which Rob tried to use to get rid of her.

Sadly for him, Parvati is a legend and gave a dominating performance at the first tribal council and showed him the door. Though did kind of spoil DONDI for poor Lisa.

The Aussies then went on a losing streak, and while Shonee was keen to snip George as quickly as possible, Kirby took control and led the charge against David. Then the tribe, minus Luke and Janine, joined forces to get rid of George. Which was kind of tragic, as this was George at his most likeable. A surprise double tribal saw Sarah and Cirie compete in a fire challenge for immunity, sending the Aussies back to camp, while World turned on themselves. Knowing it was him or Tommi, Tony went to town and target Parvati as the head of the women’s alliance, despite the fact Parv desperately wanted to keep Tony around as a shield. Like Rob before him, however, Parvati dominated him when under attack, sending him out of the game just before the merge.

To celebrate the merge, JLP hosted a sweet little auction, with Luke winning the power to boot someone without any prizes. Which he promptly used to send Parv back to camp, where a vote steal advantage was waiting for her. With both tribes split 5-5, it looked like it was going to be a tied vote, until the Sarah/Kirby feud reached its peak, leading to Kirby and Shonee to give us the shontent we were craving by aligning with Parvati and Cirie to send the model from the game. The international trio then turned things on Kirby and sent her out the door, before a wild double tribal council sent Kass and Tommi out the door back-to-back.

Lisa was the last one standing and tried to cause a little chaos, but when it didn’t work, tried to put in the work to set Cirie up a little better by pointing out to Shonee she should work with Parv and Cirie to get to the end. Sadly when it came down to five, Shonee lost immunity and the two duos decided to band together and send our best to never win from the game. After Parvati won her first final immunity, votes were deadlocked between Luke and Cirie before the worst history repeated itself and Cirie finished in fourth due to fire. Like her very first season.

Despite Janine and Luke putting up decent performances in final tribal council, it was clear that Parvati’s game was on another level this season. Completely. She walked into the game with a bigger target than two-time winner Tony, but was in control of every single vote and frankly dominated every aspect of the game. And given it was her third time at final tribal council, it was clear she was able to articulate it with ease. Which guaranteed her enough votes to finally jag her second win.

As she exited the final tribal council, I jumped into her arms and broke down in tears. Despite being a massive Sandra fan, I love them both equally and to now call them both two-time winners is frankly too much for me to take. She truly put on her best performance this season, and I am so grateful that she is the final person that JLP crowned before his tragic axing. And my final recipe on the blog, in the form of my Parvzerotti Shallow.

There is frankly no better way to wrap up the blog by officially killing off the Survivor Pizza Curse via a technicality. Essentially just a fried calzone, these little pockets fill me with nostalgia for childhood tuckshop pizza pockets. But a more elevated and grown up version, kind of like the masterclass Parv just put on 17 years later. Ugh, they are delicious, so just go make them before I cry.

Enjoy!

Parvzerotti Shallow
Serves: 2 dear friends, one of whom just joined the Two-Time Survivor Winner club.

Ingredients
210ml warm water, about 38C
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
7g dry yeast
2 tbsp olive oil, plus extra for greasing
2 ½ cups 00 flour, plus extra for kneading
2 tsp kosher salt
225g mozzarella cheese 
1 cup passata
¾ tsp dried oregano
75g salami, roughly chopped
¼ green capsicum, diced
¼ cup black olives, sliced
vegetable oil, for fryin’

Method
To start, combine the warm water, sugar and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer and leave to get nice and foamy for about five minutes. Add the olive oil, flour and two teaspoons of the kosher salt, and knead using the dough hook on the lowest speed for 5-10 minutes, or until a soft dough forms. Lightly oil a large bowl and pop in the dough, cover with cling and allow to prove for an hour or two, or until doubled.

While the dough gets proving, combine the mozzarella, passata, oregano, salami, capsicum and black olives in a bowl. Form into 8 equal portions and pop on a lined plate and place in the fridge until you’re ready to cook.

When the dough has doubled, punch it back and split into 8 equal portions. Working one at a time, roll on a lightly floured surface until they form a smooth, springy dough ball. Pop on a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until they are all done.

Working one at a time, use a rolling pin to flatten into a 15cm wide disc. Pop a portion of filling in the centre, and fold the dough in half, pleating the seams together to form a semi-circle parcel. Repeat the process, placing them on the lined baking sheet as you go.

When they’re all ready, pop an inch of two deep worth of oil in a dutch oven and heat until it reaches about 180C. Once hot, fry the panzerotti two at a time for a minute or so, before flipping and cooking for a further minute. Transfer to a wire rack and repeat the process until done.

Leave to rest for five minutes, before devouring like an icon. In honour of redemption, JLP and all the celebrities that have graced the pages of the interwebs before us. Even the two that asked for their recipes to be pulled xx

Oh, and thank you for the support – it has been a blast!


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Laura Noonaan Pizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, Pizza, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor a surprise tribe swap – you know, a real one that wasn’t a random non-elim single switch – led to AJ going full Game of Thrones Mad King. He went wild and dominated the new Brawn tribe, vowing and then threatening to get rid of the OG Brawns if the Brains didn’t start throwing challenges. Which obviously annoyed the OG Brains who were in the minority on the new Brains, given they would be the ones taken out instead. With idols hidden at the last immunity challenge, both tribes took throwing to new heights until Kristin and Max snatched them and made everyone get back to work.After the Brains threw the challenge, the OGs tried to work together, however Max was too fixated on his feud with Myles to stay focussed for long. Despite pulling Zara and Laura to his side to vote out Myles and get him to burn his idol on Zara, Myles wisely played it for himself. Which made it even more satisfying as Max held on to his, before he learnt that the Brawn tribe had betrayed him instead, sending him home with an idol in his pockets.

The next day the Brains were wet and miserable, and while Myles was still alive in the game, he would have preferred to have been in the loop of the last vote. But hey, correct idol play is correct idol play. While he was disappointed to find out that Zara and Laura turned on him, he is luckily a power bottom and as such, was fine being back to riding the bottom. Whether he was being treated like Cinderella by Ben and Jesse, or not. Laura on the other hand was not doing well on the bottom, realising that Myles is a lot more resilient than she gave him credit for. Thankfully while Zara and Laura were struggling, the tribe spotted a rainbow and were ready for a food reward.

Over at Brawn, the tribe were also delighting in the rainbow, as AJ promised it is a sign of good things to come. Karin, meanwhile, was just glad to be in the clear majority and able to whittle down the numbers of the OG Brawn before the merge. Kristin was offering up crabs to Kaelan, before AJ caught up with Paulie telling him that he is so grateful to be on the new Brawn tribe with him as he can finally play. While assuring us that he is both on the top and happy to replace anyone in his alliance at any given time. And as such, wanted to use the Brawn members as his puppets. First, he pulled Noonan aside and told her that he definitely wants to work with her and run the merge together. His new target? Logan, given she has so many friends on the OG Brains and could easily be the one to dominate once they merge. As could Paulie, so he was his other option. And Noonan – how DARE you – agreed that Paulie would try and protect her, but would never stop the vote if it was locked in. So would be open to either option.

We checked in with my zaddy who was definitely feeling nervous, while AJ moved on to Kristin to lock her in. Sadly for them, Paulie appeared at that very moment and the conversation shut down immediately. Paulie and Kristin then went for a walk and swapped stories, with Kristin going out on a limb and pointing out that she would prefer to target Noonan and AJ next. And seeing the writing on the wall, Paulie was happy to target out his closest ally and not make room for Noonan’s Jack on the door. And leverage Kristin’s idol if required, rather than his own. Though Kristin assured us that her idol is only for her, no matter what Paulie may think.

My love Jonathan made his first appearance of the episode for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would face off 1 on 1 to knock their opponent’s idol to the ground. This time with the added complication of a second idol on a pole which they also needed to knock off. First tribe to three winning parmies and pints and ugh, I could use that right about now. First up were Ben and Kaelan with our nipple king narrowly securing the first point for Brawn. Kristin made quick work of Zara, before PD defeated zaddy Paulie and put Brains on the board. Jesse then tied things up against AJ, giving us a challenge as Karin and Morgan battled for the win. Which ended in a whimper as Karin failed to flick hers high enough, when knocking at Morgan, which handed Brains the win.

We followed the Brains off to the Survivor pub, where the victors quickly skulled a pint before sitting down to smash their parmies. Which everyone assured us was the best they’ve ever tasted, despite it not being a Mexican parmie in honour of our nude king John. Zara, meanwhile, was miserable given the OG Brawns were still ignoring her, and/or shutting her down any time she tried to talk to them. Despite being hopeful about making inroads with them after voting how they wanted the night before. Zara, Laura and Myles caught up with Morgan and Kate, and while Zara tried to connect with the girls, Myles interjected and continued to talk about how he has absolutely no allies. Particularly given AJ was making everyone’s life harder. He continued to go full Ally, spilling all of the OG Brains secrets to try and win some friends in the hopes of making it to merge. As Laura and Zara looked on angrily, willing someone – the other Ursula – to take his vocal chords.

That night the tribe returned to camp where Zara and Laura confronted him for running his mouth, and while Zara fulled mum-ed him. Myles was having NONE of it, calling them out for turning on him at the last tribal council. Though eventually Zara and Laura pointed out that no matter what he does, the Brawns are not with him and want all three of them gone, so they’re better laying low and not throwing their allies under the bus. While the OG Brawns stayed by the shelter and agreed that they wanted to boot the OG Brains one after the other, and easily skate to merge.

Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where AJ wished the Brains a hearty good luck, before they raced through a series of obstacles to collect sections of ladder until they could build it and climb a tower. They would then secure baskets in place, with the first to toss three balls in said baskets taking out the win. Kaelan punished his log – swoon – and quickly secured the Brawns their first section of ladder. PD eventually cut through his, with Myles and Zara making quick work of the knots on the second obstacle and giving Brains the lead. Jesse then powered through the third obstacle, as did Paulie, allowing Brawn to close the gap once again. It then became a shoot out as Ben quickly landed his first basket, while AJ floundered. Eventually he scored one, followed by Ben landing his second. AJ then closed the gap before AJ and Ben got to talking, with both of them admitting that they were trying to throw the challenge as Laura and Logan speculated the same. JLP started to get sick of waiting, so threatened to call off the challenge and make both tribes vote someone out. Which quickly changed Ben’s tune, as he landed his third basket and put everyone out of their misery.

Much to Noonan’s simmering rage, as she would have preferred to not try so hard in the challenge. As she raged, Jesse suggested that they could just send AJ home tonight if they’re annoyed with him. Kaelan pointed out that Ben was also throwing, and suggested AJ was just reacting. And while Ben denied it, Laura was well and truly pissed. Despite the OG Brawn assuring everyone Ben wouldn’t have done it. While AJ limply asked Ben why he was hiding it as the tribes departed.

Back at camp things were, in a word, tense. Noonan more than anyone, given she rolled her ankle during the challenge when AJ was throwing. AJ explained his decision, given he saw that a Brain had gone home and as such, the other Brains would always work with them come merge, so they need to take out people that won’t work with them on this tribe. Noonan then ran her mouth, telling Logan that AJ actually wanted to get rid of her to weaken Laura, given she is a shoo in to win. Eventually the fight quietened down, as everyone went their separate ways. Logan pulled Kaelan and Karin aside to float getting rid of AJ instead and while Kaelan assumed Noonan was lying to him, the girls were sure that AJ definitely said that. With Kaelan just suggesting that AJ is now hated by everyone in the game and as such, he will always be a target and they would be protected. At least for one vote.

Despite everything, AJ was confident that his plan hadn’t gone as bad as it looked, and while Noonan put a wrinkle in the plan, it was salvageable. The OG Brains caught up to lock in their votes, with Paulie and Kristin joining and putting an end to it. And while Karin admitted the Brawns are in trouble, they agree to join in the split vote against Noonan if it would save them. Sadly for AJ, though, he counted out more votes for Paulie, in front of Paulie, alerting him to the fact that he is actually the plan. Despite the fact that Kaelan quickly pulled him up on it. After the Brawn duo left, Logan told AJ that she hates hearing your name whether it is true or not. And while he rightly pointed out that he doesn’t have the numbers to get rid of her anyway, she still looked pissed.

Noonan and Paulie were hanging out by the fire, admitting that they had no hope but to vote for each other. As everyone else went idol hunting, Noonan sat by the fire with her sore ankle and cried and TBH, it was hard to watch. AJ approached her to remind her that he told her she is safe, and as such, she decided to create her own version of chaos. She then went to Logan and Karin, lying to them and saying that AJ was still trying to take out Logan and they should all just band together to get rid of him. Paulie caught up with Logan, Karin and Kaelan, calling it sketchy and cheap to throw immunity challenges and pointed out that if they were to blindside AJ, they would have strong allies in himself and Noonan. Logan was still furious and while Karin and Kaelan were happy to still get rid of Paulie, she pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of joyfully getting rid of AJ in the swiftest show of karma.

Oh and trust and believe, Paulie was planning to play his idol no matter what.

At tribal council AJ quickly owned throwing the challenge, despite the fact he told the Brains to throw it first. He then explained it was all about keeping the OG Brains in the numbers. Noonan called out AJ for having way too many plans, and said that she felt burnt by him with Paulie pleading with the OG Brains to see the light and get rid of him ASAP. Logan agreed that it would be mad for her to continue to trust AJ despite his untrustworthiness. Noonan and Paulie then double teamed AJ, while he suggested that everyone of the OG Brains are aligned on their decision making, whether they were part of the plan or not. Though trust, Karin doesn’t trust anything he says. Paulie meanwhile leaned hard into integrity, telling the Brains that he wanted to win the game the right way. Not like AJ.

To his credit, AJ tried to defend himself, leading to Paulie saying that AJ immediately told him they need to get rid of Logan after the tribe swap. And while Paulie said that he was coming for Logan, AJ pointed out he actually saved her when Rich was voted out. Noonan called bullshit on it, pointing out AJ came to them with the plan to get rid of Logan. And while they went hard, he was confident that he proved himself by saving Logan and as such, he didn’t need to entertain things further. Noonan continued to fight her best fight, pointing out that if she goes home tonight, one of the Brains will go home soon enough, so they should make a move while they can. She then got sombre, pointing out that she and Paulie knew they’d have to vote each other out eventually and while he loves her, he loves himself more and will do what he needs to do, to survive.

With that the tribe voted and after the absolute chaos, Paulie decided to play his idol for himself. AJ then realised that everyone had accidentally voted for Paulie and forgot to split the votes, so he pulled his idol out to play for himself, despite Noonan trying to convince him not to. Which angered his alliance, who felt like he should have told them about it. JLP finally got to tallying the votes, with all the votes coming in for Paulie and AJ before Noonan was sent out of the game with just two votes. From Paulie and Kristin. After Noonan eventually hobbled in to Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she is 100% my favourite of the famous Noonans. Neglecting to mention that I have no idea who the other Noonans are. I assured her that she was my winner pick after the first episode and do believe she would have made it far, if she wasn’t screwed by the swap. Which was honestly super kind of me, so between that and some Laura Noonaan Pizza, she felt much better.

Obviously I neglected to mention that my little Survivor Pizza Curse is potentially responsible for dooming her. Thankfully it is so tasty – and easy – that she wouldn’t have cared about it anyway. 

Enjoy!

Laura Noonaan Pizzas
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 Dannaan Beard
¼ cup tomato paste
1 tbsp dried oregano
¼ cup antipasto mushrooms, sliced
¼ cup sundried tomatoes, sliced
1 cup gruyere, grated
3 stalks thyme, leaves removed

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C and pop the naans on a lined baking sheet.

Smear the bases with tomato paste and sprinkle with some dried oregano. Dot with the mushrooms and tomatoes, before topping with the gruyere and thyme.

Transfer to the oven to bake for 10 minutes, or until the cheese is golden and crisp. Then devour, greedily.


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Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls created an immersive experience for fans that promotes everything we love about the ever-expanding franchise, Drag Race World. While Scarlet was quickly able to identify this one as a branding challenge, and given she has a marketing degree, took control and absolutely slayed the game. Tia meanwhile tried desperately to keep Keta and Marina on task, in their group and while she was able to join Scarlet in the top, Keta was too much of a mess and landed in the bottom. With Jonbers, who was just flat as not a joke landed, while LGD and Hannah shone. In deliberations, Keta offered Tia some massages, while Jonbers worried that Scarlet was intimidated by her killer looks. Which may have been proven, as after Scarlet won the lip sync, she promptly booted Jonbers.

Backstage Scarlet was thrilled to finally grab her first solo win over the course of her three seasons, particularly since she felt sending a UK doll home was iconic. She felt her oats while cleaning the mirror, as Choriza felt that sending an icon like Jonbers home meant that the contest is really on. Keta thanked Scarlet for saving her, with Scarlet explaining her top performance in the ball is what tipped her over the edge, given she would like others to base decisions on her track record. Tia then tried to do a fake-out, pretending that she voted for Keta, before admitting that she too would have sent Jonbers home given she literally was just in the top two and has been slaying. Also, as she told us, eliminating one of the UK dolls means the target on her, Choriza and Gothy, is that much smaller with Jonbers gone.

The next day the mood was honestly full party mode as the dolls conga-ed into another week, while Marina just modelled, given she is an icon. The three victors showed off their badges as Hannah joked about being the queen of the safe club and as such, was grateful her target wasn’t so large. Ru then dropped by and quickly announced that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. Family Edition. Which obviously filled Tia with dread, given it is the challenge she went home. And as the winner of last week’s challenge, Scarlet had the power to select her family.

Everyone sat down to talk through the challenge, with Hannah, LGD and Keta proudly being past winners, while Choriza and Tia were terrified, given it was the challenge they went home on. Marina was happy with her OG performance, which is iconic to those in the Philippines, while Gothy and Scarlet were about to lose their Snatch Game virginity, and were equal parts nervous and excited. With that out of the way, Scarlet picked her family, going with Hannah, Choriza and Tia. Leaving the three ESL queens together, and Gothy, who is super shy, which feels shady. Which I love and hate. The families split up, with Scarlet announcing she will be making her debut as the Statue of Liberty, Tia was going with Anne Boleyn, while Choriza was going to be Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Before we could learn who Hannah was doing, Ru dropped by to kiki, laughing at Tia finally jagging a win before she announced she will be Anne Boleyn, which delighted Ru. As Tia vowed to smash it out of the park. LGD was going with Carla Bruni, which made Ru nervous, as the double French accent was becoming hard to understand. Marina is following Melinda Verga’s footsteps with some Manny Pacquiao, while Ru was equally delighted by Choriza’s choice to play Catherine of Aragon. Which is good that she is Spanish, because her English accent isn’t great. Though better than Marina’s TBH, but damn they are charming. Keta will be bringing Fran Drescher, while Hannah is following in Jimbo’s footsteps as Shirley Temple. But make it Megan the doll. Side note: both of these repeats were filmed BEFORE the others aired, so these are not copycats, ok? Ru was delighted by Scarlet’s choice of Statue of Liberty and a little nervous for Gothy giving Kim Woodburn. And ugh, her nerves are going to get to her and I hate it.

We ventured to the Snatch Game: Family Edition set as Team Scarlet were led by Sinitta, while the rest were led by guest Jane McDonald. Team McDonald all stuck with their OG choices, with LGD cute, Keta started off strong, but lacked the jokes while Marina, like Melinda, was an icon as Manny. And poor Gothy just straight up bombed. Team Sinitta also stuck with their plans where Hannah was demented – though not as demented as Jimbo, obvi – Scarlet was iconic, Choriza was glorious and Tia stole the show holding her own head in her hands. Tragically the international girls all really struggled competing in their second language, though thankfully Marina did land a few killer blows. Scarlet was a powerhouse and Choriza filthy, though it was Tia and Hannah who really owned Snatch Game, hopefully leaving us with another two-time victor and some much needed rudemption.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls in varying moods as Hannah was feeling her oats, Scarlet was thrilled to do a good job on her first go, while Gothy knew she bombed and felt she did worse than she even thought possible. Keta too, knew she bombed, while LGD knew their family were far and away the shittest. Knowing they need to do a good job, the dolls split up to get ready for their runways to hopefully save them. Talk turned to the dating scenes in their respective countries, with LGD opening up about being a romantic, though looking forward to being a little looser too. Marina admitted that she is perennially single, given there is too much beauty. Hannah joked about importing her favourite d, her Geordie boyfriend. While Scarlet and Gothy just desperately wanted to have a loving drag husband. Gothy opened up about not knowing who she is and how can’t love someone else until she figures it out and ugh, Gothy is just such a sweet, tragic figure in the franchise. Isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by knitting king Tom Daley as the dolls stomped the runway in Gone Cruisin’ looks. Keta gave patchwork pirate and ugh, she looked so stunning I mean, she even had an anchor nipple ring. Choriza was gorgeous in a blue and white latex mini with tentacles, LGD gave high fashion genuine sailor stripes in Gaultier, while Scarlet gave first class victim of the Titanic and Gothy gave baby Birth of Venus in the cutest way possible. Hannah gave Picnic at Hanging Rock on the ocean, but made it nightgown, Tia gave Ozempic Ursula – aka Karen the Kraken – and Marina closed the show with water heels and titties as a straight up sexy boat. And yeah, it was another slay.

Choriza and Marina were sent to safety before Keta was read for only just giving a laugh, and lacking the energy and fun of Fran. Which was tragically all there in her runway, which was excellence upon excellence. Tia meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being stupid and smart in equal measure as Anne Boleyn, and they also loved the runway, despite its simplicity. They wished LGD gave more and had fun, though obviously lived for her straight up perfect runway. Scarlet was praised for doing a solid job and looking perfect as Rose without her door from Titanic. Poor Gothy was read for just giving nothing in Snatch Game, and being too simple on the runway. While Hannah received wall to wall praise for being dumb and manic, and looking stunning.

Ultimately Tia and Hannah were deemed the top two of the week, and Scarlet and LGD were sent to safety leaving Keta Minaj and Gothy Kendoll up for elimination. Backstage Hannah and Tia were feeling their oats, while Choriza was gutted to be the new queen of the safe club. Tia opened up about how weird it is to be winning challenges, while Hannah was sad to elect a new president for her club in Choriza. Everyone spoke about how stunning LGD’s runway is, though they laughed about her choice of pizza boxer briefs underneath. Hannah checked in with Gothy whole was weeping quiet tears, while Keta was more upbeat about her bomb. Scarlet clocked Gothy for deciding she will be bad and as such, being bad in all the challenges.

Hannah caught up with Gothy to let her know how much she loves her, with Gothy talking about how difficult the contest is and how it keeps her stuck in her head. Hannah tried to get the fight from her, asking what Gothy needs to succeed. Though she seemed too broken to muster a tangible answer. Tia told Keta how strong she knows she is, though also noted that she has now been in the bottom twice in a row. They traded places with Keta telling Hannah that while she isn’t funny, she has a fire to be here and is ready to fight. Which both delighted and made Hannah scared that she could beat her in the end. Gothy spoke to Tia about how much the competition means to her, though worried about how she will be able to apply the judges feedback. With Tia straight up asking if she can cut it, or whether she should eliminate her as Keta is ready to fight each and every episode.

After Tia and Hannah selected their lipsticks, they ventured back to the mainstage as Ru pulled out the wireless and popped on Alcazar’s Crying at the Discotheque. And damn, the dolls turned a show. Though like Jimbo before her, Hannah tragically failed by not lip syncing as Shirley Temple. So while she hit every lyric and gave sex, Tia gave camp and emotion in equal measure, which was all it took to take out victory and claim her first badge. And then promptly saved her UK sister and showed Keta the door.

As Keta arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she was robbed, it still remains the best way to go if you’re going to place in the middle of the pack. Which she eventually agreed was true. I mean, look what happened to Pangina and Jimbo? Universally beloved and everyone is gagging for more, while Jujubee stayed consistent and made it to the end, but with a whimper and now we can’t have her back every year or so. Which honestly, is a travesty. I went on this exact rant with Keta and while she got bored in the middle, I brought it back to her situation and how bright her future may be. Which cheered her up as much as eating a big ol’ Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken.

This is the perfect mid-week meal, for when you need something warm and comforting, but are also close to tears as the weight of work and life gets to you. What, just me? Oh well, try it on a Wednesday night and you will understand.

Enjoy!

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
kosher salt and black pepper
2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick chips
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, sliced
1 lemon, quartered
1 cucumber, sliced
1 batch Aileen Choddess Dressing
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
4 Pita Andre Breads

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C. 

In a bowl, toss together the chicken with half the oil, the garlic, paprika, cumin, chilli, oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and a pinch of salt. 

While that does a quick little marinade, toss the sweet potato in the remaining oil with a good whack of salt and pepper. Spread on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, flip and push to one end, adding the chicken, halloumi and lemon. Return to the oven to bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and the chips crispy.

To serve, line a bowl with the Aileen Choddess Dressing, divide the chicken, chips and halloumi, dollop over the hummus, sprinkle with cucumber coins and squeeze over the caramelised lemon. Then devour, greedily, with a pita.


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Sashawarma Colby

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race 16 new queens arrived in the Werk Room in two groups of 8, for no reason but to create a little bit of drama in the first episode since they were immediately united after their mini challenges. Despite everyone taking an instant dislike to TikTok twins Sugar and Spice, they quickly won hearts and minds with their sweet demeanours and killer talent show. Someone who didn’t walk the fuck in the talent show, however, was Bosco’s sister Irene DuBois, who was promptly eliminated from the competition.

She was soon followed by Princess Poppy who essentially laid down her sword in the lip sync so she could go ahead and quit drag. Sugar was next out despite her sister giving the most unhinged version of Miley, a sentence I ask you to re-read to understand the gravity of it. She was followed by Amethyst, Robin Fierce and the newest member of the win to elim club, Aura Mayari. After Anetra showed mercy to Spice in the Lalaparuza, she promptly eliminated Jax before Spice’s luck ran out. Officially. Miss Congeniality, Malaysia Babydoll Foxx soon followed before Marcia Marcia Marcia was eliminated in what should have been a double shantay for the sole purpose of not having her own the rusical. Said rusical was the undoing of Salina EsTitties before mini-challenge queen Loosey LaDuca was felled after a very strong makeover.

Despite Ru promising the top four one of them would be eliminated before the finale, their killer performance in the rumix forced the judges hands as the top four were sent through to the finale. After a super-length reunion – arguably the only episode that should be an hour – the top four delivered individual performances on the Ace Theatre stage before Ru culled them down to just two, our lip sync queens Anetra and Mother Sasha Colby leaving Luxx and Mistress to sashay away. And while they both obviously slayed the final lip sync, only one could actually take out the crown and that woman was Sasha Colby.

Just as I predicted before the season (even filmed) and most importantly, just as she deserves.

As she exited stage with her fresh crown and sceptre, I pulled her in for a massive hug to congratulate her on her win. Week after week, Sasha was polished, open, charming and dripping in talent, and while she faced stiff competition throughout the season, her impeccable performance never left any doubt she would be taking out the crown. So with another feather in her impressively adorned cap, I thanked her for sharing herself with the world and told her how excited I am to see what she does next. All while smashing our faces with a big, fresh Sashawarma Colby.

Like the Avengers before her, Sasha firmly believes in the power of shawarma to celebrate a victory. Earthy and spiced, warm and fresh, it is perfect for any triumphant occasion. As her daughter’s friend Jasmine Kennedie says, this is our moment and we are going to have it.

Enjoy!

Sashawarma Colby
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
¼ cup tomato paste
3 tbsp white vinegar 
8 garlic cloves, minced
1 ½ tsp paprika 
1 ½ tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp cumin 
½ tsp ground coriander 
½ tsp dried oregano 
½ tsp sumac 
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1kg chicken thigh fillets
Coolaioli, Pita Andre Bread and salad, to serve

Method
Place the tomato paste, vinegar, garlic, paprika, chilli, cumin, coriander, oregano and sumac in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Whisk to combine before adding the chicken. Toss to coat, cover and transfer to the fridge to marinate overnight.

When you’re ready to go the next day, preheat the oven to 200C. Thread the thighs onto a duo of metal skewers (so they form a ladder of chicken), pressing down so each thigh is firmly against the next, leaving a couple of inches free at each end. Repeat the process with subsequent duos of skewers whenever you run out of space. Line a baking dish and balance the ends on the sides so the chicken remains elevated. Transfer to the oven and bake for about 20 minutes, or until charred on the outside and cooked through.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slicing the meat of the skewers. Serve piping hot with salad, or rolled into a delicious kebab using Coolio and Pita Andre’s goods. Devour, like the mother fucking queen that you (and Sasha) are.


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