Musician

Quincy Jones Paste

Condiment, Dip, Snack

Let me get it out of the way straight away, ironically; dear, beautiful Quincy is the one that first awakened my sexuality in the 60s. So yes, you could say that Quincy made me mincey.

Digressed? I’ve done it.

I first connected with Quincy in ‘64 when I was trying to get signed as a swing superstar, without realising it was a musical style. At the time, Q (obvs, I call him Q), was the vice-president of Mercury Records and despite not being interested in my offer to swing, say a different talent with my mouth/throat combo and hired me to sing vocals on his compositions.

My stunning vocal stylings lead to him taking the leap into the film industry. Say what you will about giving talentless people attention, but he fuelled me to become a triple threat and despite his eventually diagnosis with tone deafness leading to the realisation that I was utter crap, it did lead to the birth of his majesty.

You’re welcome. Also, I think that doctor was a quack because, well, what did it even take to be a doctor in the 60s? I assume cigars, scotch and stethoscopes, but I’ve digressed. Either way, I have talent and the doctor obviously lied.

After a successful two decades as his muse, Q and I lost touch as I discovered cocaine in the 80s and commence my priz and rehab period. It wasn’t until I was working the casting department of this timeline’s Park and Recreation and I noticed a young Rashida Jones, who I hadn’t seen since she was knee high to a pig’s eye, and I reached back out to connect with her father. Obviously we’ve been going strong ever since.

Q is such a sweety and given the soulful sound of his music and creative nature of our friendship, we like to get together for a few wines while discussing jazz, the industry and scat. Not that scat, obviously. As you would no doubt be aware, wine calls for snacks and nothing is the soul to wine’s bossa nova quite like some cheese with my Quincy Jones paste.

 

quincy-jones-paste-1

 

Maggie Beer’s quince paste has long held the mantle for greatest paste I’ve eaten (Clag being ineligible in this fantasy challenge), but no offense Mags this is better.

Now I am not saying I’m the second coming of Maggie Beer, per say, however it is hard to go past a fresh paste, you know?

And I am the second coming of Maggie Beer – enjoy!

 

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Quincy Jones Paste
Makes: Enough for a stack of cheese plates? Say, 12-16 servings.

Ingredients
2 quinces, cored, coarsely chopped (leave the skin on … f-loads of pectin, yo)
raw caster sugar

Method
Place the quince in a large saucepan, cover with water and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes and delightfully tender.

If it is not delightful, keep going until it is.

Place the soft quince in a food processor/blender/a jug and stick blender combo and blitz until smooth and glorious. I mean really blitz the absolute shit out of it, ok?

Measure out how much puree you’ve got and combine that in a saucepan with an equal amount of raw caster sugar. Place over very low heat and cook, stirring occasionally for 3 hours. In that time, science will create wonders and it will turn ruby red, thicken and be all around stunning. At that point, set aside for 15 minutes to cool.

Combine quince and sugar in a large, clean heavy-based saucepan. Place on a simmer mat over low heat and cook, stirring, for 5 minutes or until sugar dissolves. Reduce heat to very low and cook, stirring occasionally, for 3 1/2 hours or until mixture is ruby red, thick and leaves the side of pan. Set aside for 15 minutes to cool.

Meanwhile, line some ramekins or a square baking dish (depending on how much you end up with, the depth of the set paste etc. Just go nuts) with cling. Pour quince mixture into whatever dish you select and smooth the top. Cover directly on top with cling and set aside for 6 hours or until set.

When set, carve what you want and place it on a serving dish with copious amounts of cheese and crackers.

The rest can be stored in an air-tight container in the fridge. How long, I don’t know. I downed mine in under two weeks … and hope to get a spot on the next Biggest Loser season.

 

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LasEnya

Baking, Main, Pasta

It has been a rough decade not having Enya in my life. Kind of like being on the trains, in the winter rains … but emotionally, not literally. You know?

Picture it, Middle Earth 2001. I had just gotten Enya the job writing a song for the first Lord of My Ring (that’s what I thought it was called when I, helped, Peter Jackson to secure her job).

I was working my way through the Elfen extras to try and claim the Holy Grail of Orlando, watering my bloom. Long story short, I mistook Ens for an elf, she was upset I stopped when I realised it was her and was distraught that once again, I missed Orlando. Mud was slinged, words were said and I had my name removed from the co-writing credit and was robbed of another Oscar nomination.

Angry and hurt, I toured the most reputable and rational Hollywood publications PerezHilton and TMZ spewing vitriol and campaigning heavily against her winning the Oscar. It worked and sadly cost me our friendship.

Until she called.

You see, like me, Ens had tried to stay up-to-date on how the other was doing and lament the state of our friendship. Seeing my current success (and likely sensing the future plaudits and film adaptation she could score), Ens reached out to bury the hatchet and thankfully she was serious when she assured me it wouldn’t be in my back.

Ens is such an absolute doll and it breaks my heart that we fought so viciously for such a long time. She dropped over at the top of the morning yesterday and despite some initial awkwardness as we apologised and each took the sole blame for our issues while secretly blaming the other for all of them, it was like nothing had changed for the relationship we had in the 70s while I mentored her to success.

We gabbed and gabbed for hours, discussing our mutual disgust for Bono and our hope to collaborate on the melancholic, Opera adaptation of my future hit musical Little Whorephan Andy. Thankfully I had a huge batch of my LasEnya as we were worn out from all the planning!

 

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Lasagne is the ultimate comfort food – gooey cheese, rich sauce and a whack of herbs, it is life affirming, truly – and thankfully it is almost cold enough in Brisbane for me to pretend it is weather appropriate.

I mean, pasta? Amazing. Cheese? Even more amazing. Add in some pesto and hot damn you have a holy trinity of ingredients that instantly ends all feuds AND is a lovely shade of green for some cultural celebration.

Enjoy!

 

lasenya-2

 

LasEnya
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
handful button mushrooms, finely sliced
1 onion, roughly diced
1 zucchini, grated
1 carrot, grated
1 stalk celery, finely sliced
3 garlic cloves, crushed
500g lean beef mince
700g bottle tomato passata
2 cups beef stock
250g dried instant lasagne sheets
1 ½ cup grated mozzarella
250g tub smooth ricotta
300ml thickened cream
2 eggs, lightly beaten
¼ cup Toni Basil pesto
fresh basil leaves, to garnish

Method
Heat the oil in a large pan over medium heat and cook the mushrooms, onion, zucchini, carrot, celery and garlic until very soft, about 10 minutes. Add the mince and break up with the back of a wooden spoon, as it browns. Stir in the stock, passata and a good whack of salt and pepper, bring to the boil and then reduce the heat to low and simmer for 20 minutes and starting to thicken.

Preheat oven to 160°C.

Spread 1 ½ cups of the mince mixture over the base of a deep 22x30cm baking dish. Top with ¼ of the lasagne sheets. Top with ⅓ of the remaining meat mixture and ⅓ mozzarella. Repeat layers twice more aka the remaining ⅔ of each, finishing with a layer of lasagne sheets.

Whisk the ricotta, cream, eggs and pesto together in a bowl, season and pour mixture over the lasagne.

Now this is important and I would normally completely ignore this step, but don’t be like me, be a winner; cover the baking dish with tented foil. Tented? You want the foil to cover the dish, but not come into direct contact with it and leave you with a deliciously crisped piece of foil cheese and a mutilated lasagne … but anyway.

Bake for 40 minutes. Un-tent and bake for a further 10 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Stand for 10 minutes and then serve. Again, don’t be a Ben – allow it to stand. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

 

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Sail Away

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Call it the luck of the irish but Enya has finally reached out to end our long simmering feud. I won’t go into too many details at the moment, mainly because I was completely at fault, but I am so thankful that she can see I’m the pot of gold at the end of her rainbow.

Honestly, I’m not even trying to make that sexual.

I first met Enya after bamboozling her parents into hiring me as a beer wench – my chosen job title, not theirs – at their pub in the mid 70s.

Having a keen eye for talent … that I can ride the coat-tails of, I was immediately drawn to Ens and played an integral part in her successes.

What says I (guess I) am sorry for the trauma I caused and I want the pain you feel to just sail away?

Sail away.

Sail away.

Picture source: Unknown.

 

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Keanachu Reeves

Main

I tell you, Keanu is like a fine red wine – and no I don’t mean he stains my teeth if I’m dehydrated – he just gets better and better with age.

While he has had more misses than hits since The Matrix saga concluded, Keanu has never once held that against me despite the fact I am his closest, unpaid advisor. That being said, he decided to co-star again with Sandy fucking Bullock against my judgement and that is definitely his worst film of the 00s and obviously I argue that is the reason for the slowing of decent offers.

I guess it is hard to hold my other terrible advice against me, given I’ve been making questionable choices for the entire duration of our friendship. From getting him expelled, to forcing him into taking pay cuts to bump up the wages of my other friends Gene and Al or robbing banks with Lori Petty and inspiring both Point Break and her stint in Orange is the New Black, my choices have never been great.

But Keanu always stands behind me, although only figuratively after Speed.

Despite our love affair ending after the meddling of Bitchy McBullfuck, I always try to keep my options open with him by keeping the spice in our relationship … which is where my Keanachu Reeves comes into play.

 

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I’ve oft spoken about my love of spice and melt your insides hot chilli – and if you’ve missed it, your homework is to re-read every article. Actually, while you’re there can you proof all my past posts and point out all my sausage-finger typos and drunken grammatical errors – I just, kind of can’t be bothered doing it myself but know that I should, you know?

Anyway … way off course. Keanachu is a gangbang (I wish) of my George Takeios, Chilli con Kim Carnes, Chipotlenny Kravitz Burritos and Candace Cameron Bure-ito Bowls because, full disclosure, I just throw any and all spices, chillis and beans into a pot when cooking Mexican and hope for the best.

It is yet to fail me, so enjoy – Keanachu is as delicious as its namesake.

 

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Keanachu Reeves
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, finely diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
500g beef mince
½ red capsicum, diced
½ green capsicum diced
1 tbsp chilli powder
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 tsp oregano
½ tsp cayenne pepper
2 chipotles in adobo, finely minced
400g can crushed tomatoes
400g can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
salt and pepper, to season
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
f-loads of corn/tortilla chips
guac, to serve – you don’t have to pay extra though
sour cream, to serve

Method
Heat the oil in a large pan over medium heat. Reduce to low and add the onion and the garlic, sweating until they are soft, translucent and smell glorious. Add the mince, breaking up with the back of a spoon, until it is starting to brown.

Increase to a medium heat and add the capsicum and spices, stirring to combine and release the flavours. Add the chipotles, tomatoes, kidney beans and a good whack of salt and pepper and, again, stir to combine. If it is too thick, add a bit of water and reduce to a low heat, again, and leave to simmer, half-cockedcovered for 15-20 minutes.

Preheat oven 180°C.

Layer chips, be them corn or tortilla, on the base of a large baking dish, top with balls-hot chilli and a good layer of cheese and bake in the oven for about ten minutes, or until the cheese is golden and bubbly … and hot enough to give third degree burns.

Serve generously or eat from the dish with copious amounts of guac and sour cream.

 

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My Own Private Guytablow

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Talk about a blast from the past! I was heading back from rigging the Rip Curl Pro for Matty Wilkinson in Bells Beach, when I thought, damn my life has been lacking drama lately so I picked up the phone and called my dear friend Keanu Reeves.

As you would be aware, Keanu is 100% pure adrenaline meaning, obviously, we had a torrid love affair which may or may not have lead to his expulsion from the Etobicoke School of the Arts. While he was bummed to be expelled from ESA, the incident bonded us for life and loosely inspired three of his latter films: Speed, My Own Private Idaho and The Devil’s Advocate.

While to commoners it may appear that Keanu has fallen off the face of the earth in recent years, we try to stay in touch every couple of months when we get together to read scripts and make smart career decisions … like avoiding working with my nemesis / evil shrew, Sandra Bullock.

Yep – sorry Jason Patric, I’m the reason Speed 2 became available.

What says thanks for finally letting me share our beautiful love story?

Picture source: Screen cap from Point Break.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Lemon Kurd Cobain

12th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Condiment, Dessert, Easter Meggstravaganza, Snack, Sweets

Let me tell you, when the lights were off I entertained Kurt Cobain … but that isn’t the point of today’s catch-up. It was all about Meggy.

As you’ve probably figured out thanks to basic deduction and the process of elimination, Kurty is this year’s hero in the meggstravaganza process and I’m hoping through the power of my time machine, he is able to give a posthumous-yet-still-alive-in-the-past boost to Meg’s career.

Kind of like how I brought him back to life, technically, through the use of my scientific brilliance.

It would come as no surprise to anyone, that I enjoyed (and still do with the latter) a very close friendship with Kurt and Courtney in the late 80s and 90s. Fun fact: I actually introduced the two after meeting Courtney in the gay clubs of Portland where I was turning tricks at the time. While in the later years of his life we shared an addiction to heroin, our friendship, first and foremost was built on trust, unconditional love and a passion for ELO.

As is the case with a lot of my friends, I ended up being Nirvana’s chief muses most famously inspiring Smells Like Teen Spirit with a love-letter I wrote to Kurt when I misunderstood his kindness.

Using the time machine to catch-up with my deceased friends is always bittersweet, but being able to see Kurt and Courtney at their happiest while she was pregnant with little Frances Bean was a true joy. Kurt was a bit confused as to why I was reviving Meg’s career, given that it was at her height in the early 90s and he assumed she would stay at the top of the A-list, but was very happy to be able to help out.

Proving, once again, why the reluctant voice of a generation is my hero.

After delicately explaining the situation with her poor 00s choices, I needed something nice and sweet to avoid any awkward butterfly effects from my stint in the past. Although I did attempt to thwart the future release of the abhorrently awful The Butterfly Effect. Thankfully I had a batch of my Lemon Kurd Cobain on hand to bring the fun!

 

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Lemon curd is quite possibly one of my favourite things, particularly when it is super tart and added to a pie. I was concerned about how meringue would hold up in the time-travel, so had to stick with eating it straight out of the jar with a spoon. And slathered on bread … but sadly not our bodies. Once again, I ruined my chance of forming a Love-Judd-Cobain throuple.

Enjoy!

 

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Lemon Kurd Cobain
Makes: About 2 cups.

Ingredients
1 cup sugar
2 tbsp finely grated lemon zest
⅔ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
8 large egg yolks
¼ tsp maldon salt
140g unsalted butter, diced into 1-2cm cubes

Method
Whisk together, sugar, zest, juice, yolks and salt in a medium saucepan. Place over medium heat and stir constantly until it thickens and can coat the back of a spoon. A couple of minutes.

Remove from heat and add butter, piece by piece, stirring well after each addition until melted, combined, smooth and thickened.

Pour curd through a fine sieve into a jar and cover with cling wrap directly on the top to avoid a skin forming. Refridgerate until cool before devouring.

 

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Axl Rosewater Meringues

12th Annual Easter Meggstravaganza, Dessert, Easter Meggstravaganza, Snack, Sweets

As I’ve said, step two is always one of the trickiest aspects to complete of the Meggstravaganza. I mean, no want wants to be classed a struggling musician … unless they are like pre-Usher Bieber. When you’ve enjoyed a successful career however, struggling is quite a down-grade.

Thankfully my dear friend Axl Rose doesn’t let his pride get in the way of helping to reignite careers. Particularly those of the star of his three favourite movies, You’ve Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle and *cringe* The Women.

I first met Axl in the 80s outside The Troubadour in West Hollywood. I was turning tricks, trying to net myself a musician lover to fund my addiction and my adicktion. While Axl wasn’t interested, he loved my rock and roll attitude and we quickly became friends with me playing an integral part in the ‘85 merger that formed Guns N’ Roses.

We grew apart while I was away in prison and running scams, but I always played an integral part in inspiring the group acting as the Chief Groupie Advisor and muse.

As I said, Axl is a huge Meg fan and was very eager to get into the ritual arriving with a bandana/headress hybrid, some peyote and various useful percussion instruments. Maybe I should have mentioned a KitchenAid Mixer and a dry bowl was all I really needed to make the egg-white sacrifice known as my Axl Rosewater Meringues.

 

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Crusty bakery meringues in the 90s turned me off the treat, until I realised they weren’t meant to have the texture of asbestos powder with similar health benefits.

These little treats are sweet, crusty, gooey and everything you want out of a good meringue. Now with pistachios!

I’m off to the hen house to pick up some more eggs before my TV star friend drops by – enjoy!

 

axl-rosewater-meringues-2

 

Axl Rosewater Meringues
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
600g caster sugar
300g egg whites
2 tsp rosewater
Finely chopped pistachios, to garnish

Method
Preheat oven to 110°C.

Place sugar in a small pan over medium-low heat and cook until it starts to dissolve. When it reaches 115°C on a thermometer, place the egg whites in a large mixing bowl and whisk on high speed until the whites just begin to foam like an OD outside the Viper Room in the 80s … aka around a minute.

When the syrup reaches 121°C turn off the heat, increase the mixer to high and with motor running, gradually pour the syrup into meringue. Reduce the speed to medium and continue to beat until cooled to room temperature and thick and glossy.

This takes about 15 minutes, be patient. You want to be hypnotised by its beauty, like Skarsky peen-scene.

Line two trays with baking paper. Use two spoons, shape the meringues into generous, rough quenelles. You can make these as large or as small as you like, Axl for instance loves my little friendship-kisses sized domes, other lovers friends like them realround, thick and juicy. The only three second rule I have is to space them well apart to allow for the growth as they get hard and hot.

Sprinkle meringues with the chopped pistachios and leave to bake for about 2 hours, or until set – firm on the outside and just soft in the centre.

Remove from oven and allow to cool. Devour.

 

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Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos

Main

Lenny, Lenny, Lenny – oh how we love you Lenny!

While there was no offer of a seamstress position in his entourage, the fact that he just came down to catch up is just the sweetest! Plus, it proves that he is smart enough to realise we would sabotage his clothes for our own malfunction pleasure.

We first connected with Lenny via his then wife Lisa, who we worked with on The Cosby Show which led to Annelie and I being the maid of honour and best man at their ‘87 Vegas wedding.

The friendly chemistry between us and Lenny was immediate and we were instrumental in him securing his first record contract, with Annelie playing the role of his muse while I tried to find a loophole in his marriage to Lisa to further my career as a groupie.

Len has been so busy lately, with first two Hunger Games movies, his tenth album (which we also produced) and his furniture collection, it was so nice to see him take the time to relax and just hang with us.

We wanted something fun, hot, spicy and casual to set the mood of our date, that was also messy so we could see Len without his shirt – obviously that meant our Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos were on the menu.

 

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos_1

 

We are Chipotle fiends and as they are sadly not in Australia, we’ve had to play around with the copycat recipes online to find something that works for us. The marinade is hot and smokey, which is beautifully countered by the zing of the guacamole and the freshness of the salsa.

I am not going to lie, this recipe is a lot of work … but Len is totally worth it. Plus, they are messy so it does become clothing optional – enjoy!

 

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos_2

 

Chipotlenny Kravitz Chicken Burritos
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
Corn tortillas
Sour Cream
Grated Cheese

Corn Salsa
1 cup sweet corn kernels
2 poblano chillies, finely diced
2 red chillies, finely diced
½ spanish onion, finely diced
⅓ cup coriander, finely chopped
1 tbsp lime juice
Salt and pepper, to taste

Salsa
1 large tomato, roughly diced
10g hot chilli powder
5g hot paprika
2 tbsp coriander
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp of lime juice
¼ cup red onion, quartered
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1 tbsp hot chilli flakes

Guacamole
2 large hass avocados
½ jalapeño pepper, seeded, and diced
¼ of a red onion, finely diced
2 tbsp coriander, finely diced
¼ a lime, juiced
¼ tsp salt

Rice
1 tsp butter
2 tsp coriander, diced
⅔ cup brown rice
1 cup water
½  tsp salt
1 lime, juiced

Chipotle Chicken
200g can chipotle pepper in adobo sauce
1 tsp black pepper
2 tsp cumin powder
2 tbsp fresh oregano, chopped
6 cloves garlic
2 tsp salt
1 red onion, quartered
¼ cup oil (canola/vegetable/olive)
1kg chicken breasts

Method
Corn Salsa
Heat a lug of oil in a large skillet over medium heat, and fry the corn and diced chillies for a few minutes. Remove from the heat and add the other ingredients. Season to taste.

Salsa
Chuck all of the ingredients into a blender or food processor. Blitz. Leave to sit for an hour or two, covered, in the fridge to allow the flavours to develop.

Guacamole
Place all of the ingredients into a medium bowl and mash until smoothed. Season to taste and adjust accordingly. As you would be aware, we love to liquify our insides with hot food so advise leaving in the jalapeño seeds for an extra kick.

Rice
Heat butter in a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepan over low heat. Add the rice and lime juice, and stir for a minute before the adding water and salt. Bring to a rapid, vigorous boil. Once boiling, cover the pan and reduce heat to a simmer leave over low heat until rice is tender and the water is absorbed, about 25 minutes. I’d advise you start checking from 20, but I am highly impatient.

Chipotle Chicken
Place all of the ingredients (other than the chicken) in blender and puree until smooth.

Stab chicken with a metal skewer or fork and cover with the marinade. Place in a large bowl and refrigerate for at least one hour or overnight.

Heat a lug of oil to medium high in a large skillet and fry chicken, a few breasts at a time, for five-ish minutes each side. Remove from the heat and roughly chop into 1cm-ish chunky, shreds. Repeat until the chicken is all done and return to the pan with the remaining marinade and fry for a few minutes.

Serve heaped in wrapped warmed corn tortillas with any combination of elements and sour cream and grated cheese.

Obviously these recipes are based on those served in Chipotle and are a combination of those we’ve sourced online and tweaked over the years. Just, you know, full disclosure.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

American Woah-Man

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Our dear friend Lenny Kravitz gave us a call the other day to let us know he would be going our way, we assume because he is looking for a new seamstress and knows that both Annelie and I slay on the Janome.

While we seem perfect for the job, our passion for wardrobe malfunctions, particularly those involving Len’s junk, make it one of his worse ideas. (Especially if he knew that it was my handiwork with the unpicker that lead to him putting the Cockholm in Sweden).

Despite being celibate now, Len oozes sensuality and as such, we always try to get him in the mood by whipping up something hot and spicy. What should we serve?

Picture source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Bruce Springsteen Roll

Main, Party Food, Snack

There is nothing quite as joyous and beautiful as catching up with your best friend; while it has been about five years since we last saw Brucey, it felt like no time had passed at all!

After meeting Bruce aka Brucey, Steeny, Springo or pal, in school our bond seemed unbreakable, with he and Annelie touring the bar circuit of New Jersey while I did everything in my power to bring down their rivals via torrid affairs.

While I was successful in ruining many a career on the way to Bruce’s success (without Bruce knowing, he enjoyed competition), our relationship hit a rough patch in 1984 when he invited (then) two-bit floozy Courteney Cox (we are friends, now) up on stage during his film-clip for Dancing in the Dark.

As you would expect, I ran straight to the tabloids to punish him for this indiscretion resulting in an eight-year feud and a string of voodoo and/or arson attempts near the Jersey shorelines.

Wanting to make amends after a stint in rehab, as well as the completion of a court-ordered anger management course, I reached out to Bruce and once again became his muse … eventually leading to an Academy Award for the song The Streets of Philadelphia.

We pulled up to the airport to pick-up Bruce to see him standing out front looking all dreamy, like the cover of Born on the USA – I mean, we would have taken him home and fought to the death for him, even if he wasn’t our friend.

I don’t know what it is about reminiscing about school, but it is something that definitely needs liquor, which in turns means you need drinking snacks at the ready – obviously our delicious Bruce Springsteen Rolls made the menu!

 

Bruce Springsteen Roll_1

 

These little snacks pack the right amount of sweetness and spice and are the perfect accompaniment for an afternoon of being serenaded by your close friend over a beer.

Enjoy!

 

Bruce Springsteen Roll_2

 

Bruce Springsteen Roll
Serves: 50.

Ingredients
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp sake
2 tbsp oyster sauce
freshly ground black pepper
1 tsp cornflour
2 tbsp cooking oil, aka anything with a low smoke-point
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 tsp grated fresh ginger
3 shallots, finely sliced
2 carrots, grated
½ head of chinese cabbage, shredded
1 red chilli, finely sliced
100g shitake mushrooms, finely sliced
500g chicken mince
50g vermicelli noodles, soaked in water and drained
3 tbsp toasted peanuts, crushed
1 tbsp five spice powder
50 spring roll wrappers, defrosted
extra cooking oil, for brushing

Method
Combine the soy, sake, oyster sauce, pepper and the teaspoon of cornflour in a measuring jug; leave aside.

Heat a large pan over high heat, adding in the oil and swirling when hot. Quickly add the shallots, garlic and ginger and toss for 30 seconds, taking care not to burn them. Stirring well, add in the carrots, cabbage, chilli and mushroom, before reducing the heat to medium-high. Stir fry the vegetables for 2 minutes, or until the carrots have softened.

Remove cooked vegetables to a dish and add the chicken mince to the pan, breaking up the meat as you brown it. When the chicken is done, add the soy liquid, noodles and vegetables to the pan and combine. Remove from heat and allow to cool. When cooled, drain out any liquid.

Preheat oven to 180C and line two baking sheets.

Open the packet of spring roll wrappers, covering with a just damp towel to prevent drying out. Pour some cold water into a glass for brushing.

Place a wrapper out on the bench, add a tablespoon of the mixture in the middle at one end in a cigar shape. Roll wrapper over to cover the filling, fold both sides in and roll the spring roll up (this video has another wrapping technique, if I make no sense). Brush with water and place on baking sheet, covering with another just damp cloth.

Repeat the process until you run out of wrappers or filling.

Once done, remove the cloth, brush all of the rolls with oil and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Devour with your favourite condiment, trying to avoid flinging sriracha all over your kitchen when shaking the bottle. Unless these are for a Halloween party in which case, boom, instant bloodbath decoration!

 

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