Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Lady Gaga kicked off the season with Mama Ru and granted poor Jaymes Mansfield a one week stay of execution, before Kimora sent her out of the competition in after bringing zero pep to the cheerleading challenge. Kimora soon followed her out the door after creating a dull princess and sidekick. Charlie then gave the worst lip sync performance of anyone’s life, Eureka was medevaced due to her ongoing cheer-related injury giving Cynthia a one week stay of execution and us the sight of Cucu’s horrific Snatch Game.
Aja then put the no in 9021-ho, Farrah’s roast was par cooked, Villaintina – who was crowned Miss Congeniality … or fan favourite – tried to scam her way out of a lip sync, Nina’s inner saboteur finally won out during the makeovers and Alexis Michelle was eliminated because the other queens wouldn’t tell her she looked like shit, leaving us with a final four that rapped so well, Mama Ru couldn’t bring herself to eliminate any of them.
That or he needed four queens in the finally to spice it up … with the lip sync battle-royale for the crown!
My gurl Michelle kicked off the show introducing all the eliminated queens back to the stage – Charlie barely mustering any more energy than her fateful lip sync – before the finalists graced us with their presence, Trinity looking the best by far. Mama Ru then came through with some pantless dancers leading to me coming through my pants.
Oh and fuck off Todrick, I don’t care if you’re friends with Nico Tortorella.
Ru reminded us that the top four would be lip syncing for the crown, before getting down to interviewing the queens. After Pepp, Sasha and Shea had a chance to shine, Ru was quick to point out that Trinity had little support before the season began … but quickly turned it around and became the fan favourite. I would like to pause here to admit that I had zero interest in her pre-season and now think she is a lock for the finale of All Stars 3.
Bobby Moynihan quickly video-ed in his support for Trinity, breaking her heart in the process given her dream of climbing Chris Pine like a tree.
After a brief costume change and an unnecessary but charming explanation from Ross about how the battle-royale would work, Ru spun a wheel to decide who would be lip-syncing first. It ultimately landed on Trinity who decided to be the best, you had to beat the best and opted to battle the assassin Peppermint. In turn, Ru gave Peppermint the chance to choose from her boxes to decide their song, landing on Stronger by Britney Spears which should favour the latter given her killer performance during the Kardashian musical.
Despite a soft start from Peppermint and a killer tear away from Trinity, Pepp slowly built the song, ultimately turning out an epic wig and skirt reveal that sent the crowd wild. Sadly for my surprising fave, Pepp took another victim, forcing Trinity to sashay away right into my pop-up kitchen side of stage.
While she was disappointed to not make the final two given her stellar track record this season, Trins was eternally grateful to the public for embracing her like they have. I’ve known her for years after meeting in a plastic surgeon’s office – I had Jennifer Aniston’s OG nose, no T, no shade – and despite not warming to her straight away, we became the best of friends. That is until she beat Lys for Entertainer of the Year in 2014 and I went into a tongue-popping rage defending my girl Lyssy Eds which could only end by this season reminding me that Trinity Tuck is a damn saint.
Given the tragic nature of performing well all season, only to be cut at the final hurdle, I knew Trins needed something delicious, dignified and delightful to bring her back to her gorgeous self … which is something only my Terrinity Taylor can fix.
Since she has the tightest tuck in the land, I like to give Trinity as much meat as I can to test her skills … and there is nothing more meaty than my terrine. Pork, pancetta and chicken, this baby is stuffed even further with cranberries, pistachios and a dickload of spices, that truly gives you life.
200g pancetta slices
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
¼ cup craisins, roughly chopped
1 tbsp brandy
500g pork mince
½ tsp nutmeg
2 tbsp parsley, roughly chopped
2 tsp thyme, roughly chopped
¼ cup pistachio, roughly chopped
200g chicken breast fillet, slice in half lengthways
Preheat the oven to 180°C and line a loaf pan with pancetta slices, leaving enough to overhang the sides and a couple to enclose the top.
Dice the remaining pancetta and fry in the skillet with the oil over medium heat. Add the onion and cook for five minutes, or until the onion has sufficiently sweated. Add the craisins and brandy and cook for a further minute. Remove from the heat and allow to cool.
Once cool, add the mince, nutmeg, herbs and pistachio, season and stir to combine. Take half the mixture and pack into the lined dish. Top with the sliced chicken and add the remaining pork, pushing to close it all in. Fold in the overhanging pork and layer the extra to cover the top.
Cover tightly with foil and place in a roasting pan filled with enough boiling water to come halfway up the pan, and bake for an hour. Remove the foil and bake for a further 10 minutes. Remove from the oven, drain off the juices and re-cover with foil before weighing down with canned food. Transfer to the fridge and chill overnight.
Remove from the fridge and allow to cover to room temperature before cutting into thick slices and devouring.