White Vinegar

George Mladenoodle Salad

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, Salad, Side, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor, Parvati was desperate to find the key to open the locked box they won at the opening challenge. That being said, she was more keen to form a women’s alliance and ugh, I love that for her. Tony meanwhile was hoping they would stay US strong, though knew he and Tommi could be in trouble, so pulled out the win at the immunity challenge. Back at the Aussie camp Kirby took control and convinced Sarah and Shonee to get rid of David, while George and David planned to get rid of Shonee, David, Janine and Luke wanted to get rid of George and George wanted to get rid of Janine. As such chaos ensued, all afternoon and at tribal council, before the vote finished up tied between David and George, with a solitary vote for Janine, before David was booted from the game on the revote.

Making Hayley the only returning winner to survive a tribal council. Though to be fair, she was also voted out on her winning season, but I digress.

Back at camp everyone was excited by the drama at tribal council, with Janine and Luke quickly praising Kirby for pulling off the move and quickly downplaying how they felt about David. George tried to get under Luke’s skin, telling everyone he was told to vote against Janine. Sadly for him, Luke is not a newbie, and swiftie called him out for potentially voting out Shonee. And while he was quick to downplay it, you know that was all Shonee needed to hear to make him her number one priority again.

The next day the tribe were tidying up around camp. And by that, went hunting for idols under the guise of tidying. Luke admitted to us that he was feeling alone without David, and given he completely burnt George, he knew that he needed to find a way forward. Thankfully though, he had the godmother in his corner, so they got to work finding a way into the majority. George meanwhile was catching up with Shonee, assuring her that he was never planning to vote for her and admitted that he owes her, so will champion to take out whoever she wants. While all Shonee could worry about was being fixated like Stevie, or worse, being Sue’s Big Move. Shonee pulled Sarah and Kirby aside to pledge her undying loyalty, talking to them about how voting for David was to prove loyalty, given she would have preferred to get rid of George instead. Sarah on the other hand was regretting voting for David, now worried that she was being tested. And that Kirby seemed to be just as loyal to Shonee as she was to her.

Over at the World tribe Parvati, Tony and Cirie were busy whipping up a pot of coffee for the tribe and everything was kumbaya. Tony though was rightly worried, knowing that the women are clearly in control, and while the Americas are equal, he is still sceptical they will stick together. Parvati turned her attentions back to the box, with Tony suggesting they all go hunting for a key and use it to the advantage of the tribe. However when Cirie questioned whether it could really benefit ‘us’ rather than one of them, they all split up to find the key solo. Everyone was wandering aimlessly trying to find the needle in the haystack before Parvati snatched it out of nowhere. After literally standing in front of it for a few minutes. She immediately shared it with Kass and Cirie, before Cirie tried to open it. Just as Tony arrived, leaving them trying to relock it before even catching a peek inside.

As he innocently asked if they had any luck, the girls tried to lie about what was happening to get him away from camp long enough to lock it, with them finally successful. Only for him to stick to the box like glue. This led to Cirie enlisting Lisa to take Tony to the well to keep him distracted long enough for Cirie and Parvati to open it again. Which they did, only to be super disappointed to discover it was just a clue to a hidden immunity idol, which is conveniently located at the base of Jonathan’s podium at tribal council. And while that kinda sucks, she is grateful to have three loyal, strong women wanting to work with her and move mountains. And while she relaxed by the ocean, Cirie, Lisa and Kass went for a walk where Kass wandered off and jagged the camp idol without anyone noticing. Like a damn queen.

We headed back to the Aussie tribe where George and Kirby were catching up, with the former warning Kirby to keep a close eye on Sarah as she can’t be trusted. While Sarah was busy chatting to Janine about being unsure whether she made the right decision at the previous tribal council. Thankfully Sarah and Kirby caught up to clear the air, with Sarah warning her that while they are good with Shonee, she knows Shonee does not trust her and as such, she wants her gone eventually. And while they are besties, Sarah told us that she and Kirby are fighting in her head and Kirby now needs to prove her loyalty to her by getting rid of Shonee. Now, not eventually. That night Sarah caught up with Luke and Janine, looping them in on her plan to get rid of Shonee and save them, and ugh, Sarah girl, you in danger. At least, with me being a fan after this vote.

After all that preamble, my love Jonathan finally made his debut for the immunity challenge where each tribemember would each hold a sandbag tethered to a trough, with the last tribe left standing without getting wet snatching victory. Aka the group version of Parv’s go to challenge. Lisa started to fatigue early with Tommi being an absolute sweetheart and helping hold her’s up as long as possible. George tried to start a little banter with Tony to get him to blow a kiss before straight up spilling that he almost went home the night before and that the tribe is fractured. Much to the absolute rage of his entire tribe. After half an hour, Cirie accidentally let go of a bag and went to the sit out bench, leading to them all trying to balance the extra bag while poor Lisa looked like she was about to faint. They hit the one hour mark and sweet Lisa continued to hold on, as George told Parvati he gave his tribe a run down of her greatness as everyone continued to struggle. Sarah almost dropped her bag, causing the tribe to nearly shit their pants, before they ultimately hit the 1 hour 40 minute. Which is what cost the Aussies with Sarah actually dropping out of nowhere, presumably as they didn’t have Parv hyping them up like she was Lisa.

Back at camp George spoke about how strong Parvati is before they split up to start scrambling, with George pitching he, Shonee, Sarah and Kirby split the vote between Janine and Luke. And they convince the two of them to turn on each other. Which is bold, but also stupid, as they could just tie things up on a third option, allowing Sarah or Shonee to flip. Oh and it also pisses people off for acting like a bully when you could just vote them out without trauma. After he spoke to Luke and annoyed the shit out of him, Shonee pulled Luke aside to float the idea of blindsiding George, given he would clearly flip to the World players at the first opportunity. And he is a bully and a liability. With that, Shonee took George to the well to allow Luke the time to talk to Janine, Sarah and Kirby about getting rid of George, since it would mean they would go into the merge united, even though Sarah was nervous about leaving Shonee in the game without a ride or die, as she could find one on the other tribe. Which I guess is also right, though given she is close to Kirby, she could also form a trio and take you to the end over Luke and Janine, but whatever.

Everyone reunited with George, who was clearly feeling super confident in his level of control, calling paths George Street and suggesting they are living on Shonee’s Beach. So when he went openly hunting for an idol, the rest of the tribe talked about how annoyed they are by his perceived control. Shonee though did not want him to feel like he was in danger, so went hunting with him to keep him as relaxed as possible and damn, he is feeling good. George then tried to speak to Luke and Janine, telling them they have no choice but to vote for each other. Which obviously pissed off our business icon into being locked on the plan. Janine though was worried about a potential idol, so suggested that maybe she should throw a vote on Shonee instead as contingency. As such, she approached Kirby and Sarah to make sure they were okay with that. Which they were, Sarah in particular, thought it was music to her ears, using it as one final opportunity to try and convince Kirby to get rid of Shonee. And ugh, Sarah, please stop, I was rooting for you.

At tribal council Kirby spoke about the confusion at the previous tribal council, blaming David for all of it. With Shonee quickly jumping in to agree, talking about how the tribe were now solely focused on locking in numbers and keeping things loyal at the merge. Sarah was hopeful tonight was an easy vote, though was concerned she jinxed it by saying that. With Shonee assuring her she will be fine. Kirby admitted she was still figuring out how to play a faster game with these all time greats. Janine then outed George for telling her that she has to vote for Luke, with George happily talking about how he is honest to a fault. This spooked Janine who started to whisper to Luke to change his vote to Shonee to protect her from George’s idol, while the latter continued to be so cocky and bold that everyone looked more and more frustrated by his antics.

He then reminded them that he is the best asset to navigate the World tribe come the merge, and was confident he would be able to earn them the majority should they merge tomorrow. And while Janine called him out for trying to earn the affection of their rivals, he assured her that he is ready to rule with an iron fist. With that the tribe voted – Shonee honouring her 50th tribal council, by casting a vote for George – and thankfully Shonee came out on top as George was mercifully sent from the game. With him even happy that Shonee was able to get her revenge.

Given he was so happy that Shonee was able to get her revenge, I pulled him in for a massive hug, finally admitting to being a fan of his game. While he is full of bravado and arrogance, it is because he is acutely aware that he is making a TV show first and foremost and as such, knows to swing for the fences. And while he didn’t really have much space to move this season, he was still able to cement his legend status. Which goes perfectly with a big bowl of George Mladenoodle Salad.

This slightly tweaked version of the Chang’s Crispy Noodle Salad is honestly such a nostalgic delight. It reminds me of ‘90s barbecues and sticky summers, and honestly, it is the first salad that made me think, maybe, just maybe you could make friends with salad.

Enjoy!

George Mladenoodle Salad
Serves: 2 power bottoms, or 6 side (serves)s.

Ingredients
¼ cup white vinegar
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp soy sauce
2 tsp sesame oil
½ cup olive oil
½ wombok, shredded
6 shallots, sliced
½ cup slivered almonds, toasted
1 packet Chang’s Original Fried Noodles

Method
Combine the vinegar, muscovado, soy sauce, sesame and olive oil in a bowl, and whisk until well combined.

In a large bowl, combine the cabbage, shallots, almonds and noodles and give a decent toss. If you’re serving straight away, pour over the dressing and toss to combine before serving and devouring.

If you’re not eating straight away, hold off mixing in the noodles and dressing to maintain optimal crunch.


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Sashawarma Colby

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race 16 new queens arrived in the Werk Room in two groups of 8, for no reason but to create a little bit of drama in the first episode since they were immediately united after their mini challenges. Despite everyone taking an instant dislike to TikTok twins Sugar and Spice, they quickly won hearts and minds with their sweet demeanours and killer talent show. Someone who didn’t walk the fuck in the talent show, however, was Bosco’s sister Irene DuBois, who was promptly eliminated from the competition.

She was soon followed by Princess Poppy who essentially laid down her sword in the lip sync so she could go ahead and quit drag. Sugar was next out despite her sister giving the most unhinged version of Miley, a sentence I ask you to re-read to understand the gravity of it. She was followed by Amethyst, Robin Fierce and the newest member of the win to elim club, Aura Mayari. After Anetra showed mercy to Spice in the Lalaparuza, she promptly eliminated Jax before Spice’s luck ran out. Officially. Miss Congeniality, Malaysia Babydoll Foxx soon followed before Marcia Marcia Marcia was eliminated in what should have been a double shantay for the sole purpose of not having her own the rusical. Said rusical was the undoing of Salina EsTitties before mini-challenge queen Loosey LaDuca was felled after a very strong makeover.

Despite Ru promising the top four one of them would be eliminated before the finale, their killer performance in the rumix forced the judges hands as the top four were sent through to the finale. After a super-length reunion – arguably the only episode that should be an hour – the top four delivered individual performances on the Ace Theatre stage before Ru culled them down to just two, our lip sync queens Anetra and Mother Sasha Colby leaving Luxx and Mistress to sashay away. And while they both obviously slayed the final lip sync, only one could actually take out the crown and that woman was Sasha Colby.

Just as I predicted before the season (even filmed) and most importantly, just as she deserves.

As she exited stage with her fresh crown and sceptre, I pulled her in for a massive hug to congratulate her on her win. Week after week, Sasha was polished, open, charming and dripping in talent, and while she faced stiff competition throughout the season, her impeccable performance never left any doubt she would be taking out the crown. So with another feather in her impressively adorned cap, I thanked her for sharing herself with the world and told her how excited I am to see what she does next. All while smashing our faces with a big, fresh Sashawarma Colby.

Like the Avengers before her, Sasha firmly believes in the power of shawarma to celebrate a victory. Earthy and spiced, warm and fresh, it is perfect for any triumphant occasion. As her daughter’s friend Jasmine Kennedie says, this is our moment and we are going to have it.

Enjoy!

Sashawarma Colby
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
¼ cup tomato paste
3 tbsp white vinegar 
8 garlic cloves, minced
1 ½ tsp paprika 
1 ½ tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp cumin 
½ tsp ground coriander 
½ tsp dried oregano 
½ tsp sumac 
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1kg chicken thigh fillets
Coolaioli, Pita Andre Bread and salad, to serve

Method
Place the tomato paste, vinegar, garlic, paprika, chilli, cumin, coriander, oregano and sumac in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Whisk to combine before adding the chicken. Toss to coat, cover and transfer to the fridge to marinate overnight.

When you’re ready to go the next day, preheat the oven to 200C. Thread the thighs onto a duo of metal skewers (so they form a ladder of chicken), pressing down so each thigh is firmly against the next, leaving a couple of inches free at each end. Repeat the process with subsequent duos of skewers whenever you run out of space. Line a baking dish and balance the ends on the sides so the chicken remains elevated. Transfer to the oven and bake for about 20 minutes, or until charred on the outside and cooked through.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slicing the meat of the skewers. Serve piping hot with salad, or rolled into a delicious kebab using Coolio and Pita Andre’s goods. Devour, like the mother fucking queen that you (and Sasha) are.


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Chicktina Big McDonald

America's Next Top Model, America's Next Top Model 24, Burgers, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyra and Co celebrated pride. Well, except for Liberty who was struggling with the culture shock since she is used to the bias against gay people in her community. Christina continued to create drama and Brendi K was overwhelmed by the thought of representing her community. The models posed with Drag Race royalty – Manila, Katya and Valentina – where Khrystyana slayed, and Kyla and Liberty bombed, with Liberty ultimately sent back to her small-minded community. Hopeful to change minds.

The models returned from panel where Erin contemplated slipping Khrystyana a little something to bring her back in line with the other girls. JK, Kimora – Erin is a saint and would never do that. Kyla reflected on the humbling experience of landing in the bottom two before she accidentally bumped into Brendi K, setting off some mild rage before stewing in her sadness. Thankfully Christina was on hand to give some solid advice about Brendi maybe just stopping being poor and not being offended by the judges critiques.

It is hella meaningful, since Christina is so good with human interaction.

Erin, Rio and Jeana took time out by the spa to talk about their lives, their choices and how people view their modelling dreams. Erin then broke down about her ex, who she left while he was dying from cancer … WHICH IS WAY TOO HEAVY FOR A MODELLING SHOW.

Tyra Mail arrived the day announcing that this week, everyone would be getting manicures. Thankfully Tyra arrived to offer some clarity … no, nope, no clarity. She just wanted a manicure and to spill some tea. Once again Christina proved adept with human interaction, sharing that she was trying to open up to the girls and form bonds. Then she shared a sad story about her dad’s heart stopping, being put into an induced coma and the fact he should have died. To reiterate, TOO DAMN HEAVY FOR TOP MODEL. Give me a booty tooch while smizing.

Ty-Ty continued to act as Oprah with Kyla sharing her nerves about being in the bottom, Sandra and Erin spoke about never wanting to be a part of a nude shoot and Khrystyana spoke about being molested. Once again and I know I sound like a broken record, THIS IS WAY TOO HEAVY FOR A MODELLING SHOW. Won’t someone bring Tiffany back to get yelled at? Thankfully for Sandra and Erin, Tyra wasn’t going to make them face their fears instead this week’s raw shoot is actually just make-up free … while being cradled by the hands of the other models.

Christina seemed to be in her head throughout the shoot, Brendi K felt the process was cathartic, Kyla put the judge’s’ advice into action and Khrystyana’s soul was captured by Tyra. While we didn’t really see much, it seemed like literally everyone nailed it.

The next day, the models met Drew and Director X to film videos standing up to bullying with the winning one forming part of a National Crime Prevention Council campaign. The models split into three groups, with Brendi K electing to work with sworn nemesis Christina and Shanice as the referee, while Erin, Rio and Jeana, and Khrystyana, Kyla and Sandra were the less dysfunctional groups. Stacey McKenzie arrived to provide advice to the girls while filming the commercial, with Christina wasting no time to bringing up her experiences being bullied in the house. Obviously without naming names.

We were then treated to a screaming montage while the models filmed their videos, and once again, it was way too emotional to actually throw any shade at. All the videos were powerful, well maybe not Christina, Shanice and Brendi K’s, with Kyla, Sandra and Khrystyana’s ultimately taking out victory.

At panel, Kyla received universal praise, as did Sandra, and Shanice … and Brendi K. Khrystyana shared her experience being molested, and explained it fed her release in the photo which was perfection. Hold up, literally everyone was beautiful and their photos received universal praise. Well except for Erin, whose face was completely covered by her hair and Christina who once again argued with the judges, making Tyra question whether she is in the competition to learn or get attention. For the first time in Top Model history, Brendi K, Jeana, Khrystyana, Kyla, Rio, Sandra and Shanice tied for best photo, really putting salt on the wounds of Erin and Christina who really had it driven home to them, that their photos were balls. Despite arguably having the worst photo – wait no, Tyra said it was definitely worse – Erin was saved, while Christina was eliminated because of her bad attitude and the fact she isn’t willing to learn.


Make no mistake, Christina continued to rail against the judges and her fellow models by the time she met up with me backstage, and despite being a lifelong friend … all I could do to shut her up, was smack a Chicktina Big McDonald into her gob.

 

 

The Chicken Big Mac has been a hallowed thing popping up on Aussie Maccas menus for the last year or so. Essentially, it is our McRib. And this little number is as close as you can get, when they aren’t trying to lure your into stores. Crispy chicken, the tang of mac sauce, pickles, cheese and iceberg? I damn near creamed my shorts just thinking about it.

Enjoy!

 

 

Chicktina Big McDonald
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
1 egg
1 cup water
1 cup plain flour
2 tsp salt
1 tsp onion powder
¼ tsp ground black pepper
½ cup mayonnaise
2 tbsp French dressing
1 tbsp sweet gherkin relish
1 onion, finely minced – ½ for the sauce, ½ for the burgers
1 tsp white vinegar
1 tsp sugar
½ tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp garlic powder, plus a pinch for the patties
8 slices American cheese
pickles, thinly sliced
4 sesame seed Kirsten Bunst
iceberg lettuce, chopped

Method
Place the chicken mince in a large bowl and season generously with salt and pepper. Divide into eight patties and place in the fridge to set for at least an hour. While you’re refrigerating things, combine the sauce ingredients and refrigerate until needed.

Beat the egg and stir with the water in a large, shallow bowl and combine the flour, salt, pepper, onion powder and a pinch of garlic powder in a second bowl.

Grab the patties out of the fridge and coat each with the flour mixture, remove and dredge each filet in the egg mixture, before coating in the flour mix again. Place in a freezer bag and freeze for an hour.

Remove and repeat the flour and dredging process again and leave to rest for about ten minutes.

Heat a generous lug of oil in a large frying pan, I mean crazy generous but not enough to technically consider it shallow frying as you know it scares me. Cook the patties for about 5-6 minutes per side, or until light brown and crispy.

Combine the mayo, French dressing, sweet gherkin relish, half the onion, white vinegar, sugar, smoked paprika and garlic powder in a small bowl with a good season, stir and place in the fridge to chill.

To assemble, cut each bun in three and place the base on a plate. Smear generously with special sauce, top with a pinch of the reserved chopped onion, add the lettuce, top with a slice of cheese and a chicken pattie, followed by the middle of the bun. Then smear with more sauce, top with onion, lettuce, a few pickle slices, cheese – because I believe it needs two slices – a chicken pattie and the top of the bun.

Smoosh as thinly as you can and devour, greedily.

 

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