Previously on Drag Race UK the top four were tasked with their final, epic challenge for the crown. Writing and recording verses on a Ruple mega mix and performing it live on the mainstage alongside their fallen sisters Just May, Starlet, Copper – yep, it’s happening – Sminty, Baby, Le Fil, Dakota and Pixie. After a cheeky kiki with Ru and Michelle, obvi. Despite all four of the dolls killing the final challenge and serving stunning looks on the runway, the judges decided the final lip sync would be a two horse race and as such, kept Danny and Cheddar to fight for the crown and eliminated Jonbers alongside the iconic, lip sync assassin Peppa.
While I was heartbroken to miss out on one final lip sync from Peppa, I understand why the judges kept the final two around given their track records were so evenly matched. That being said, it didn’t make losing Peppa any easier.
Peppa exploded out of the gate in the very first episode, giving an iconic entry, an artistic photoshoot and perfection on the runway. And while she landed in the bottom a couple of times, she was never really bad, leading me to question whether Ru just wanted to see her turn out another show just like Alan and myself.
After shooing Jonbers away to finish off his pity burger, I pulled Peppa in for a hug and thanked her for not just being an icon, but also for gracing us with her presence. Because that honestly feels like the only appropriate way to react to seeing her perform. As such we laughed, held each other tight and toasted her run with a piping hot Pancetta and Black Peppa Piperade.
This little basque brunch number almost is almost the personification of Peppa herself, a little bit fiery with surprises dotted throughout – pancetta, in this case – and ultimately a positively lovely way to spend your time. Though instead of watching her perform, you eat.
Enjoy!
Pancetta and Black Peppa Piperade Serves: 2.
Ingredients olive oil 200g pancetta, cut into strips 1 red onion, diced 1 green capsicum, diced 1 red capsicum, diced 1 yellow capsicum, diced 800g can diced tomatoes 2 tbsp tomato paste salt and pepper, to taste 4 eggs ¼ cup basil leaves, shredded crusty bread, to serve
Method Heat a small lug of olive oil in a deep frying pan or dutch oven and cook the pancetta and onion for about 10 minutes, or until the onion is soft and the pancetta crisp. Add the capsicums, tinned tomato and tomato paste with a good whack of salt and pepper. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for about 15 minutes, or until it has started to reduce slightly.
Make 4 wells in the stew and crack an egg in each. Cover and cook for 5 minutes or so, or until the whites are set and the yolks are to your liking. Sprinkle the basil over the top and serve immediately. Before devouring alongside a tonne of bread, because duh!
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Previously on … hang on, wait a minute. Why do I always do this?! I mean, the ads even told us it was a Ru dawn and a Ru day. And now, well, that day is here. At midnight in the US, which honestly is perfect for me Down Under.
But I digress.
A’Keria C. Davenport was the first to ru-turn to the Werk Room looking like a vision in all gold, she was joined by Jiggly and ugh, I live for her and am so glad she is back, fully embracing herself as a strong, gorgeous woman, in a little black dress to boot. Next up was Jan, living her Jantasy despite the jandemic and I hate myself for loving her and her jan-do spirit as much as I do. Particularly since she knows she was an 11 at all times last season. She was joined by Ra’Jah O’Hara in a gorgeous purple and blue jumpsuit and she is happy, friendly and ready to prove that she is a damn icon. Then Ginger Minj arrived looking a mess as a toad, but damn am I thrilled to see her back after her sub-par performance in All Stars 2.
Particularly for her warts joke.
Yara Sofia arrived for her third turn, manic, crazed and barking like a dog and OH SHIT, have I missed her. Despite not loving Silky very much, her entry was iconic with a full glass of milk in her titties and ugh, will I actually love them all this season? Supporting that theory, my love Pandora Boxx returned looking stunning, complete with butt puns and gah, it is so good to have her back. Particularly if Rob Anderson manifested her being paired with Serena and there being no other pairs. Scarlet Envy was next to join the fray, with her season 11 nemesis Ra’jah living and well, it makes me so happy. Oh and speaking of Serena, she is back and damn, did she have a glow-up because it is time to cha-cha bitch.
Sonique finally arrived and owned the entries, quoting the transphobic entry line and reclaiming it as her own. It is powerful, she is funny and damn, I am SO glad to have her back. Next up was Trinity K Bonet, still charming and ready to slay, with Bianca’s encouragement playing in her head this go around rather than her inner saboteur. Last up was Eureka for her sixteenth attempt at the crown, this time with All Stars lips. And thankfully, still serving killer looks.
With that, Ru finally arrived to inform the largest All Stars cast EVER that they would still be a democracy this season, with everyone voting. And then alluding to a game within a game. But then changed the subject to the 14th queen, who it turns out was just the legendary Miss Piggy, who would be overseeing the reading challenge.
Kylie Sonique Love kicked things off reading A’Keria for being another losing Davenport, TKB went in on Ra’Jah for being an early out and Silky for being a mess, Jiggly destroyed Pandora for having no fans and Serena for being an alternate. Ra’Jah then arrived and savaged former-nemesis Scarlet’s beard, Eureka went in on Ginger’s relationship and then Pandora killed reading Eureka for being there. And then Ginger rightly got a supercut of destroying all of them. Serena was given the rattlesnake edit before Yara was demented and delightful, Jan tried to read Sonique but was read back in return before A’Keria was mean about Ra’Jah’s chances in the competition, Scarlet went for A’Keria butt implants and Silky was confusing but eventually got one in on Eureka.
Obviously Ginger took out victory, before Ru announced that they would be competing in the traditional premiere variety show. Which saw them all quickly split up, snatch a station and kiki. Ra’Jah and Serena were both ready to rewrite their narrative this season and prove that they are stars, before Ra’Jah celebrated the diversity of the cast. Besties Ginger and Jiggly caught up and were delightfully ridiculous, with Ginger knowing that she shouldn’t join the bitter old lady brigade again. Silky meanwhile praised Serena’s glow-up and celebrated her return, while Ra’Jah admitted her strategy was to get to the top and then stay there. And I am living for this version of Ra’Jah.
Elimination Day arrived with Eureka sharing that she’d be doing a song about her mother, while Sonique was doing a song to reintroduce herself to the fandom. Meanwhile Trinity K Bonet was just hoping to break the comedy show curse, given it was her choice to do stand-up. As they got ready Scarlet and Sonique spoke about what the game within a game could be, with all the girls derailing it by talking about whether they have a strategy. Silky laid out that she is not planning to play games and wanted to be fair, while TKB was nervous about being a bit of an island in the cast since everyone had friends or former castmates joining them.
At the variety show Jan mocked her face crack moment after being announced safe, then slayed her vocal performance about living her Jantasy. Pandora was charming and stupid and ugh, THIS is the Pandora I love, as she lip synced like a maniac, complete with titty confetti. Jiggly’s song and dance, to her own Jiggly-centric rap was a bop, Kylie was GORGEOUS as a golden burlesque singer – sans Wagon Wheel Watusi.
Oh AND THEN RA’JAH SEWED A DRESS IN 60s, I SHIT YOU NOT. I CAN’T GET OVER IT.
A’Keria gave a technicolour lip sync that had Michelle gagging, despite the green lighting. And then, ugh, Trinity bombed her comedy show. Badly, despite reading her grandma for filth. Eureka had a surprisingly good voice while singing live, complete with projections on her dress. Scarlet then dazzled with a bubble burlesque number which was both fresh and iconic. Silky then straight up played piano and sang gospel, Serena promoted her wig line, Ginger gave a poppy performance of perfection and then Yara was ridiculous as she bounced her titties all over the stage. Which was iconic, despite nobody knowing what was happening.
After Ru reiterated the rules, Eureka, A’Keria, Jiggly, Jan, Kylie, Scarlet and Ginger were sent to safety. As the dolls untucked backstage, Jiggly was thrilled to have survived the first week while Ginger was happy to at least have won the reading challenge and to prove herself. Again. Jan threw out another Jan pun, while Eureka asked the girls to help her strip off to take a seat. She then charmed the girls by saying that she was shocked they weren’t the tops, while Ginger expected Silky to win despite Scarlet being sure it was Yara’s on lock, giving how much Ru was living.
Jiggly identified TKB as a bottom, while Eureka felt Pandora would be joining her along with Serena. Ginger loved that she got a plug in for her wig line, before Jan celebrated that she wasn’t even annoyed about being safe. And Scarlet was thrilled to be feeling joy this time, as was A’Keria. Kylie shared that she was sprialling before starting the competition, though was ready to show that she had grown thanks to Ru. Eureka then broke down about losing her mum and was so endearing, leading to Jiggly talking about how much Eureka’s tribute to her mum meant to her.
Jiggly then spoke about how she spent so long doing sex work to survive, that she didn’t even realise that she was broken on her first season. She and Kylie told the group about growing after coming out as trans and it was such a beautiful, loving conversation to have and I am so glad they are so open to sharing. Ginger spoke about how she didn’t even recognise who she was on Season 7, talking about how much hate she got that she still doesn’t even know how she processed it. Eureka praised her for being a trailblazer for big girls, before Sonique gave them all a pep talk about how them being so vulnerable and open is what makes them special.
Oh and Ginger then spoke about the positives of meeting fans, with Scarlet admitting that she was one such fan of Ginger’s in the past. And then Jan reminded us that season 12 really had the worst experience, given she hasn’t even toured as a Ru girl so is still waiting to meet fans.
Back on the mainstage, Silky was read for not fully taking it there in her performance, despite looking gorgeous and literally playing the piano live. Trinity’s look was praised though she was read for her obvious bomb. Ra’Jah received universal praise for her dress in 60 seconds number, as did Yara for her ridiculous tiddy-shaking performance. And I am so happy for her. Pandora’s joyous brand of ridiculous was praised for serving comedy, while poor Serena was read for not exactly executing the performance given everything else looked so beautiful and polished. Ultimately Yara took out the first victory of the season, while Pandora and Ra’Jah were deemed safe, as was Silky. Meaning either TKB or Serena were going home.
Talk turned to the voting backstage, with the girls talking about their strategies with Kylie admitting that she knows well enough not to share her strategy. They were interrupted by the tops and bottoms returning from their critiques, with Yara giddy to announce her victory to the safe girls, before Trinity and Serena shared they were in the bottom. Yara pulled Serena aside, with the latter sharing that she is heartbroken to be in the bottom after all these years. Meanwhile TKB shared that she doesn’t even know what happened at the variety show, though plead her case to the girls, reminding them she is here to prove herself. The bottoms switched places – how versatile – with Serena telling the girls she is here to fight too, while TKB reminded Yara about how much she wants to be there.
And Yara was just straight up confused.
With that, the dolls voted and Yara made her way to the mainstage where she learnt that she would be facing off against Coco Montrese and oooooh, gurl – you in danger Yara! As soon as Bruno Mars’ Uptown Funk started, both the dolls were ready to fight, but honestly, Coco is just SO good at lip syncing. Even while Yara was stripping and bouncing her titties, Coco was hitting every letter and proving why she is arguably THE lip sync assassin of the franchise. Again, she is just so good. With that, she took out victory and had to reveal that the group had voted to eliminate the delightfully redeemed Serena ChaCha.
Serena was crushed to unanimously be booted from the game by the group, particularly since Yara voted for Trinity and could have changed things with her victory. That being said, my dear Serena was delightful as she wrote her farewell message, before breaking down to discover the other queens’ notes praising her for her growth and charm. Oh and seeing the massive Serena ChaChagine I had waiting to celebrate her rudemption.
Rich and hearty, despite not having a meat in sight, this tagine is a pure delight. And while that was an accidental rhyme, you know I deliberately left that in. Because like the tagine, it is fun and full of flavour. Right?
Enjoy!
Serena ChaChagine Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 1 pinch of saffron olive oil 6 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp ginger, minced 1 tsp ground cumin ½ tsp ground cinnamon 2 tsp ras el hanout 1 tbsp tomato paste ¼ butternut pumpkin, diced 1 eggplant, diced 2 carrots, sliced into coins 1 onion, cut into segments 1 red capsicum, cut into strips 1 yellow capsicum, cut into strips 1 potato, cut into eighths salt and pepper, to taste 400g tin diced tomatoes 400g tin chickpeas, drained and rinsed 100g dried apricots, roughly chopped couscous, mint, flaked almonds, yoghurt and harissa, to serve
Method Place the saffron in a cup measure and infuse in 1 cup of boiling water.
Meanwhile, heat a lug of oil in a tagine over a medium heat and sweat the garlic, ginger, cumin, cinnamon and ras el hanout for a minute or two, or until nice and fragrant. Add the tomato paste and cook it off for a few minutes before loosening with the saffron infused water.
Stir in the myriad of diced and sliced veg before adding the tinned tomatoes, chickpeas and apricots with a good whack of salt and pepper. Give a good stir, bring to the boil, cover and reduce heat to low and simmer for half an hour or so, or until the veg are tender.
To serve, layer your bowl with a dollop of couscous, followed by the tagine and whatever combination of herbs, yoghurt, harissa and almonds float your boat. And then devour, like a rudeemed champion.
Previously on Survivor the final four arrived on the top of a mountain in Fiji for their final immunity challenge. The one that Jeremy won on his way to victory in Second Chances. It came down to a battle of New Jersey before Michele dropped and handed Natalie immunity, guaranteeing an epic run from first boot to final tribal council. Back at camp everyone split up to start practicing fire, with Winchele slaying while Tony and Sarah were both decidedly more nervous. That didn’t matter, however, as Natalie took Winchele through to final tribal with her, forcing Sarah and Tony to face off with the latter surprising with victory. Sending one of my newest faves Sarah to the jury.
The final three awoke on day 39, thrilled to discover their breakfast. We then heard from the finalists one by one, with Michele speaking about how hard it was to get such a backlash against her previous win. She admitted she was proud to prove the haters wrong and show with this game, that she is a good player and didn’t fluke her first victory. Natalie admitted that while her path was non-traditional, she owned the hand that was dealt her, gaming the hell out of the Edge and never giving up. She knew that her only focus was to convince the haters on the jury and prove that she deserves to be there.
Tony meanwhile planned to highlight how well-rounded his game was and always has been, and as such, knew he needed to convince the people whose dreams he crushed that he deserves victory. That being said, he is feeling pretty confident based on the game he played and the feedback Natalie gave everyone when she returned to the game. And felt like he was hours away from being crowned King to Sandra’s Queen. Which just feels so right, given they are both as chaotic as each other.
We then pivoted to the rain soaked tribal council where the final three were joined by the sixteen person jury – being without Sandra still hurts, I’m not going to lit – where Probst sadly didn’t pivot to the OG structure. And I will pause it there and fast forward a little bit because despite each of the final three playing a strong game, the jury didn’t seem to respect Michele’s stellar game and as such she was completely shut out of the vote. In an extremely undeserving fashion.
Given that pissed me off, I called a break in production and tapped Michele on the shoulder to eat out feelings early. And to apologise. Because I was firmly team Aubry during her original season, however it really had more to do with the fact that I love an underdog. And given how well Michele played from the bottom this season, I will gladly eat humble pie. Actually, I wish I was eating humble pie, because that would mean she would be joining Sandra as the second two-time winner. Instead, I cursed her into being a zero vote finalist by whipping up a Michele Fitzgerkald Chicken Pizza.
Yes, the curse has struck yet again. And I am so sad about it. That being said, as is always the case, this is so delicious it is hard to stay angry. Sweet, spicy and salty, it has it all – just like Winchele’s robbed goddess game.
Enjoy!
Michele Fitzgerkald Chicken Pizza Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor ½ cup muscovado sugar, plus 1 tablespoon for the chicken seasoning ¼ cup chicken stock ¼ cup ketchup ¼ cup glucose syrup 1 onion, half finely diced and sliced 3 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp red wine vinegar 1 tsp lemon juice ½ tsp chilli flakes ¼ tsp dried thyme ¼ tsp dried oregano ½ tsp ground allspice, plus a pinch for the sauce salt and pepper ½ tsp paprika ½ tsp garlic powder ¼ tsp cayenne pepper ¼ cup olive oil 2 chicken breasts, cut into a small dice 1 red capsicum, sliced 1 yellow capsicum, sliced 1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated 4 rashers streaky bacon, diced 2 shallots, sliced
Method Combine half a cup of muscovado sugar, the chicken stock, ketchup, glucose syrup, the diced onion, garlic, red wine vinegar, lemon juice, chilli flakes, thyme, oregano and allspice with a good whack of salt and a smaller whack of pepper in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until glorious and thick. Remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly.
Combine a tablespoon of muscovado sugar, a teaspoon of salt, half a teaspoon of pepper and allspice, with the paprika, garlic powder, cayenne pepper and the oil in a bowl. Toss the chicken to coat and cook in the frying pan over medium heat for five to ten minutes, or until cooked through.
Prep the base as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 200°C.
Roll out the dough and spread with the sauce, then scatter with mozzarella, the capsicums, sliced onion and the spicy chicken. Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden and bubbling.
While the pizza is cooking, fry the bacon over medium heat, or until golden and crisp.
Remove the pizza from the oven and sprinkle with the bacon and shallots. Before devouring, like the icon you’ve always been.
Previously on Survivor South Africa the final three awoke on Day 39, overjoyed to make it to the end and ready to plead their case in front of the jury. Nicole was looking forward to owning her game and proving the haters wrong about her lying, while Rob was rightly confident in how dominant he played. While Durao was looking forward to talking about how strong he played by protecting Rob. Sadly you can tell one of these pitches is not like the other, so when they arrived at final tribal council, it was no shock that Jacques told Durao he had no chance of winning the game. So I pulled him aside for his loser meal early.
Jacques then congratulated Rob and Nicole on playing well, though explained that they seem to be a pair and as such, it is hard to tell who actually played the better game. He then wished them all luck and sat back down. Mike told Durao that he still has a shot if he can give a decent answer, asking why he was so loyal to Rob. Durao said it was because he felt like he was protected from bullies by Rob. Mike then roasted Nicole’s game, though asked her to articulate her game as despite it being horribly personal, it was good. Nicole said that the personal connections were all real, though she played hard because she needed to. Seipei asked Rob to explain his journey, with him saying that he found family at Sa’ula and planned to stay loyal to the end. Only when Seipei suggested that they vote out Steffi and Nicole, did he realise that she needed to go. Seipei called bullshit though, and said that his loyalty until crossed approach, has made him cross more people than he needed to.
Geoffrey got up just to point out that Nicole is horrible and pathetic. Dante jumped up to call out Rob for being threatened by him and went in on him for saying he stole food from him, until Rob congratulated him for being strong and apologised. Mmaba tried to have Durao’s back and advocate for him, before asking Rob how his ‘safe’ game was better than Durao’s. To his credit, Rob mentioned that he didn’t want to put anyone down and told her to swing Durao a vote, thank you, goodbye, next. Cobus got up to share that he will vote for the person he likes best and then would factor in the game. He told Nicole that he likes her best, though needed her to explain her malicious behaviour to win him back over. She reiterated the personal connections were all real but her loyalty to Rob is the reason she had to ice people, and she was starting to regret bonding with everyone if it has hurt them.
Laetitia asked Rob and Nicole to explain why they deserve to win, with Rob focusing on his challenge prowess and knowing that the jury hates Nicole and as such, he knew it was the best strategy to take her to the end. Nicole countered that she played harder than Rob simply because she had to, not winning immunities and having her back against the wall as a middle-aged woman. Meryl said that she related to Nicole as a mother and felt selfish for coming out to play the game, therefore was unsure how Nicole could talk about being brave when she was just as selfish as her.
Steffi wrapped things up by congratulating everyone on making the end before asking Rob what drove the amigo alliance, with Rob saying it was love. She then questioned why he ignored that and didn’t approach her to find out why she was trying to target him. Steffi then asked Nicole how she could think of herself as a role model, then didn’t let her answer before asking Rob whether he believed she wouldn’t have turned on him if she had the chance. Once again, that question was rhetorical, as Steffi cussed them out for humiliating her two tribals ago. Which, preach. Rob then pointed out that he had red flags about her around the family visit, when she didn’t appear surprised to see her friend and then barely spoke to her, he realised that they already caught up at the Island of Secrets. She then admitted to lying and then apologised to Rob and Nicole and honestly, I am fucking confused.
Nico gave the final three one last chance to explain their games, with Durao mentioning that he used his charm and charisma to get to the end. While he compromised his integrity at times and knew that people may have found him to be a bit of a joke, he had a great time and is just happy to be there. Swoon. Rob then spoke about owning the Island of Secrets before actually getting to the point, talking about controlling every single vote and knowing everything that was going on at any given moment. And also won a shit tonne of immunities … and his competitors are only here because he wanted them here, which is super true.
Nicole then tried to start by thanking everyone in the jury and the other finalists, before saying she fought hard, tried her best physically and knowing she couldn’t rely on it, had to dominate strategically. She then apologised for hurting people, but knew that she had to use her personal connections to ride to the end with an alliance, even if she threw herself under the bus in the process. She then said that while Rob knew everything that was happening, it was her connections and intel that gave him said information. With that the jury voted and as promised, Durao received no votes and wound up in third place.
The votes finally rolled in and after landing at four votes a piece, Rob pulled away with the last two, winning the title of Sole Survivor. And leaving poor Nicole in second place. Despite just experiencing an absolute roasting from the jury, Nicole was still happy as she arrived at Ponderosa. While I may have been bored by their dominant games, there is no denying that Nicole played a strong game. And as is often the case for a woman using social connections to survive, the jury kind of treated her unfairly. Which thankfully was all it took to have her feeling great and ready to celebrate her run with a fresh, hot Nicole Capperlaka.
Part sauce, part stew, part beans, chakalaka sounds like a bit of a hodge-podge to non-South Africans, but trust me, it is delicious. Spicy and rich, it is oh so soothing.
Enjoy!
Nicole Capperlaka Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 8 garlic cloves, minced 1 green chillies, thinly sliced 2cm piece ginger, finely grated 2 tbsp hot curry powder 1 red capsicum, diced 1 yellow capsicum, diced 1 green capsicum, diced 4 carrots, grated 2 tbsp tomato paste 800g can diced tomatoes 1 tsp paprika ½ tsp smoked paprika ½ tsp ground cardamom 2 tsp dried thyme 400g can navy beans salt and pepper, to taste
Method Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat, and sweat the onion for five minutes, or until soft and starting to brown. Stir in the garlic, chilli and ginger, and cook for another couple of minutes before stirring in the curry paste and a quarter of a cup of water to stop it catching.
Add the capsicum and carrots, and cook stirring for a couple of minutes to coat before adding the tomato paste, tomatoes, paprika, smoked paprika, cardamom, thyme and navy beans. Bring to the boil, reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes until the vegetables are soft and the sauce has thickened.
Serve with some bread and devour, like a proud runner-up.
Well, well, well, look what we have here! Another international version of Survivor with a hot host – hi Jeff, Jono and Matt! – is begging for me to head to the filming location to provide culinary comfort for their crushed castaways.
Yes, Nico Panagio has finally reached out to me to see if he could leverage our close personal relationship to get me out to Samoa for the latest season of Survivor SA.
While I played hard to get for a couple of minutes, I knew there was no way I could say no to such a dear friend. Particularly when they are as hot as Nico and the tropical location is always conducive to some shirtless action.
I’ve known Nico for a couple of years after fleeing to South Africa and trying to break into the entertainment industry over there. While all my scenes were cut from our co starring vehicle Semi-Soet, I couldn’t be too mad given it brought us together.
I invited him over to Australia on his way to Samoa to formally give him my answer, bringing him to tears of joy that I would be joining him on set of Survivor SA over a big vat bowl of delicious Chickenico Panangio Curry.
Given how delicious this sweet, spicy curry tastes, maybe the tears of joy were related to such a glorious meal? I mean, delicately cooked juicy chicken with the earthy peanuts, a kick of chilli and the zing of lime? There is nothing better.
Method Heat a good lug of coconut oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion and garlic for five minutes, or until soft and fragrant. Add the capsicums and cook for a further couple of minutes. Stir in the curry paste, chilli, peanut butter and kaffir lime leaves and cook for a further minute.
Stir through the coconut cream and stock, bring to the boil and add the chicken. Bring back to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer, uncovered, stirring for about 20 minutes, or until the chicken has cooked through and the sauce has thickened up.
Add the fish sauce and cook for a further minute before adding the Thai basil leaves. Remove from heat and serve immediately on a bed of fluffy rice. Then devour, with your favourite, sexiest friend.
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Previously on Australian Survivor, 23 Aussies and 1 three-time American loser were marooned in the lush jungles of Fiji for the non-biblical battle between top dogs and underdogs. Despite getting out to a strong start in the opening challenge, the Contenders were first to suffer a loss with Matt giving an extremely patronising speech at tribal leading to him becoming the first boot. He was followed out of the game by self-appointed King Russell Hantz, Damien, Steve K, Jenna – yep, doing this – Moana, Anita, Zach, Paige, Jackie, Tegan and Heath.
In honour of the Spicys, two became one and the tribes merged, leading to the downfalls of Lydia, Robbie, Sam, Mat, Benji, Steve, Fenella, Monika, Shonee and Brian before Shane defeated Sharn the prosecutor in front of the jury.
Despite being fairly low down the totem pole early in the season, Shane managed to find her way into the main alliance and make it to the merge where she truly flourished, while not being able to be fucked with. From finding idols, to dominating around camp, spying for allies, fostering critical bonds, orchestrating pivotal blindsides and being a damn boss, Shane managed to defy expectations for the older female archetype and played, arguably, the showiest game of our three victors.
And prove that Shane Gould will always be a champion. Obvi one that is never to be fucked with.
The only fear I have about Shane’s victory, is that we’re going to have to suffer through Dawn Fraser next season and let’s be honest, Dawn is no Shane. And I don’t want to fuck(ing deal) with Dawn Fraser.
After giving a rousing toast as she left the island, I raised her arm in triumph and congratulated her with a big, hearty, piping-bloody-hot and victorious Shane Goulash. Huzzah for Shane Gould, iconic, Queen of Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders.
Packing a powerful paprika punch, this goulash is the perfect thing to renew your energy after 50 days starving on an island. Rich hunks of beef melt in your mouth, while the spicy sauce is like a warm hug. Throw in some mash, and you’re in heaven like Shonella smashing margs or Benji doing whatever he does to a plate of nachos.
Enjoy!
Shane Goulash Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients olive oil salt and pepper, to taste 1kg chuck steak, cut into large cubes 3 onions, quartered 5 garlic cloves, minced 1 tbsp sweet paprika 2 tsp hot paprika 1 tsp smoked paprika 1 of each red, yellow and green capsicums, cored, seeded and cut into chunks 3 bay leaves 1 tbsp tomato paste 400g canned diced tomatoes 1L beef stock
Method Preheat the oven to 160°C.
Heat a lug of oil in a large dutch oven and season the beef with a whack of salt and pepper. Add the beef to the pan in a couple of batches and cook until sealed. Remove from the pan, reduce heat to low and cook the onions for ten minutes or so, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and sweat for a minute.
Bring the heat back to medium and return the beef to the pan with any leaky juices with the three paprikas and the three capsicums and cook for a minute or so. Add the paste and bay leaves, stirring until well combined. Add the tomatoes and stock, stir and bring to a simmer.
Remove from the heat, chuck the lid on the dutch oven and transfer to the oven to cook for 2.5-3 hours, or until tender and your house smells like it is not to be fucked with. Like Shane Gould.
Serve with a shit tonne of Gabriel Mash, sour cream and chives. Then devour, like the ultimate champ that you are.
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Fame Hungry 