Academy Award Nominee

Aaron Porkin Cabbage Dumplings

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVI: Gold Interrupted, Party Food, Snack

As a ramblin’ man, prone to long monologues at anyone that will listen with the speedy caffeinated talking style of the Gilmore Girls, you just know I am a close friend with Aaron Sorkin.

I first met Sorki in the late 90s when he hired me as to act as his sports advisor on the set of his new show Sports Night. Given our mutual love of fast-paced talking, the bond we shared was instant and we have been working together ever since with me doctoring all of his major scripts.

Well except for The Social Network as I was banned from the set due to my arrests for stalking JT and the consulting Winklevii twins.

This year’s crop of screenplay nominees are largely first time nominees, allowing us to really get into a wordy discussion on the merits of each picture without touching the elephant in the room that is his snubbing for the Steve Jobs script – he likely blames my doctoring, I blame everything but myself because well #OscarsSoStraight too.

When engaging in spirited and verbose discussion, it is important to make sure you have a meal that is both hearty and light – that is where my Aaron Porkin Cabbage Dumplings come in!

 

aaron-porkin-cabbage-dumplings-1

 

Packed full of fresh ingredients, the flavours combine to give you an all together delicious blob of meat wrapped in a light, spongy dough. So, you know, the basic, undignified definition of what a dumpling is.

Enjoy!

 

aaron-porkin-cabbage-dumplings-2

 

Aaron Porkin Cabbage Dumplings
Makes: 48.

Ingredients
4 tsp finely grated fresh ginger
4 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 ½ cup coarsely chopped wombok
500g pork mince
4 shallots, trimmed, thinly sliced
2 tbsp tamari
1 tbsp caster sugar
1 tbsp sesame oil
1 tbsp cooking sake
48 gow gee wrappers
1 ½ tbsp vegetable oil, extra
⅔ cup water, extra

Method
Combine ginger and garlic, cabbage, pork, shallots, tamari, sugar, sesame oil, sake and a good whack of salt and pepper.

Place a wrapper on a clean work surface. Place about2 tsps of pork mixture in the centre of the wrapper, brush edges with water and fold over to enclose, pinching the edges together. Place on a tray lined with non-stick baking paper. Repeat with remaining wrappers and pork mixture.

You can try and make them look nice and crimped but I am really terrible at it.

Heat half the extra vegetable oil in a non-stick frying pan over high heat. Cook half the gyoza for 2 minutes or until bases are golden. Add half the extra water. Cook, covered, for 5 minutes or until cooked and liquid has evaporated. Transfer to a serving platter and repeat with remaining oil, gyoza and water.

Serve with sriracha, hoisin or soy sauce while walking around delivering rapid monologues with your friends.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Ang Leek and Asparagus Tarts

Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVI: Gold Interrupted

I am almost overwhelmed when it comes to talking about my beautiful, breathtaking and languid friendship with the gorgeous Ang Lee. He has brought me so much joy over the years – adapting books I love, casting men I love and having them flash their buns, which I love.

Ang Lee is both a pimp for my love of celluloid flesh and a saint, which is a stunning combination.

I first connected with the celebrated director while attending the Provincial Tainan First Senior High School where his father, our principal, made him act as my mentor to curb my shameful, wayward behaviour.

Ang was such a kind, gentle soul and I desperately wanted to avoid disappointing him, however me being me, I rubbed off on him and he failed his final exams and couldn’t progress to being a professor. Thankfully it led him to eventually being a director so, in a roundabout way, I am responsible for his lush films and lauded career.

You’re welcome.

We lost contact after his mandatory military service however reconnected through Em Thomp – my closest boozing bud – while he was making Sense and Sensibility and I became his most trusted advisor, leading to Bana buns in Hulk and Brokeback Mountain.

While it was very hard to be overlooked for the role of Ennis opposite J-Gyll, Ang was kind enough to introduce us on set – he hired me as the resident flannel expert – and we enjoyed a torrid love affair that I ran to the paps about, thus starting all of the Jake gay rumours.

No one was better to discuss this year’s Best Director crop than the two-time winner, so I whipped up my Ang Leek and Asparagus Tarts to fuel our moving discussion about the possibility of our dear friend George Miller finally getting recognised for his work after such a majestically eclectic filmography.

Dark horse pick goes to Adam McKay. I mean, he was robbed for the Anchorman movies.

 

ang-leek-asparagus-tarts-1

 

While asparagus pee is both a blessing (I’m special) and a curse (it is rank), these tarts are well worth it. The sweetness of the leek with the sharp goat’s cheese and earthy asparagus create a delicate little tart that packs as much of a punch as one of Ang’s films.

Enjoy!

 

ang-leek-asparagus-tarts-2

 

Ang Leek and Asparagus Tarts
Makes: 18.

Ingredients
2 sheets puff pastry, thawed
1 tablespoon butter
2 leeks, finely sliced
1 bunch asparagus
Sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper
3 eggs, lightly beaten
300ml cream
150g goat’s cheese

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Melt butter over low heat and saute the leeks until soft, and place into a large mixing bowl.

Trim the ends of the asparagus and cut into 5cm pieces and fry for two minutes on high heat in the same pan, until bright and just cooked. Add asparagus to the leeks and allow to cool.

Once cooled, add in the eggs and cream, season and stir to combine.

Place the puff pastry on a clean surface and cut both into a 3×3 grid, so that each sheet make nine squares. Roughly press each square of pastry into a muffin tin, to create a rustic looking case – I am too lazy to worry about it looking “nice,” as is Ang.

Pour the vegetable/custard mixture even amongst the 18 cases and crumble the goats cheese on top.

Whack in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or until set and golden. Remove from the oven and rest for about 20 minutes before inhaling.

Devour in a poignant fashion.

 

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KeBarbra Streisand

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVI: Gold Interrupted, Party Food, Snack

After an evening of focusing solely on the music, I wanted to make a gateway into discussing the current crop of nominated acteurs. Who better than to make that jump than the funniest girl I am friends with, the one, the only and very dear to me Barbra.

I first connected with Babs in the late 50s – Stockard Channing would have been about 68, but I digress – when we were both young up-starts living a gypsy lifestyle in NY, waiting to make it big. There is nothing quite like the bond you form on the street other than the ones you form in prison, but again, I’ve digressed.

Babs and I would surf the couches in the evening, while trying to make it big during the day until she beat me in a singing contest in a bar in Greenwich Village, where I was too busy beating people off for money. She went to Broadway and I went to prison.

While I was in the clink for the best part of the 60s, Babs was never one to shy away from visiting and even plead my case to the parole board so that I could accompany her to witness her tied-Oscar glory in 1969. I mean, you can take the girl out of the streets but you can never take the street out of the girl.

It was such a hoot catching up with my Babs – she is just so humble, down-to-earth and accessible that being around her is never intimidating, when it really should be. I mean, she is a damn legend!

Obviously we agreed that while our dear Cate again knocked it out of the park, she is likely to end up as the second coming of Mez – being always invited to the party, but rarely the guest of honour. Yep – I’ve firmed up my Best Actress pick and what better way to officially board the Brie train than with a spicy, cheesy Kebarbra Streisand?

 

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Despite being a good Jewish girl, Babs is willing to go non-kosher for these glorious snacks. Spiced lamb, haloumi and capsicum cut with a hint of lemon – you better believe a star was born when I first made these!

Enjoy!

 

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Kebarbra Streisand
Makes: 10ish.

Ingredients
400g lamb, diced
2 tbsp fresh oregano, diced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
½ tsp ground cumin
¼ tsp ground chilli
⅓ cup olive oil
1 capsicum, cut into 1(ish)cm squares
250g haloumi, cut into 1(ish)cm cubes

Method
In a large bowl, combine the oregano, lemon zest and juice, cumin, chilli and olive oil. Add the lamb, stir, cover and place in the fridge to marinate for at least two hours to help it get as freaky as possible.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Take the meat out of the fridge, grab a handful of metal skewers and thread with the ingredients, alternating between the lamb, haloumi and capsicum until they are all gone. I found I got about 8 skewers.

My metal skewers are a bizarre size for griddles and I live in an apartment so am without a barbecue, so I go the oven baked approach however if you heat up a griddle, cook the skewers a couple of minutes each side and they will be golden.

Lay the skewers on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with oil and bake for fifteen minutes or until golden and gorgeous.

 

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Tim Rice Paper Rolls

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVI: Gold Interrupted, Side, Snack

After being reminded of my once close relationship with Elton – yep, you know we went there – I thought I would reach out to one of our favourite outside-the-boudoir collaborators, Tim Rice.

Yeah, I should have also won for Can You Feel the Love Tonight but Elton had my name struck from the record – maybe that is why our feud started?

My friendship with Timmy pre-dates Elty, having first met working as law clerks in London in the 60s. Our mutual love of music and my passion for theatrics, meant writing musicals was something we were born to do culminating in our first collab with David Gest’s doppelgänger ALW on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.

While I got into huge feud with ALW after he refused to focus on Doll’s coat over Joseph’s – our feud inspired the rivalry between Sheff and ALW in The Nanny – my close relationship with Tim was unbreakable and has lasted through all of my later feuds.

Timmy had far fewer aggressive opinions about this year’s Original Song nominees, wanting them all to win(!), but eventually caved to agree with me that Lady Gaga and Sam Smith are the absolute worst and have no place on the Oscars stage … and that Fifty Shades of Grey was a film full of nuance, that was understated, elegant and cerebral.

Needing to fuel such a spirited conversation (to help me firm up my bets), I opted for my Tim Rice Paper Rolls.

 

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Fresh, delicate and delicious – these rice paper rolls hit all the right notes without making you feel like death afterwards. I mean, Mac and Cheese is great but it is hard to focus on your gambling, on such a full stomach.

Good luck nominees – hopefully Gaga doesn’t rob someone more deserving again (K-Dunst forever)! How good would it be for The Weeknd to do something that his ex-future-father-in-law D-Bag Foster hasn’t been able to?!

Enjoy!

 

tim-rice-paper-rolls-2

 

Tim Rice Paper Rolls
Makes: 12.

Ingredients
500g chicken breast
1 lime, zested and juiced
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 tbsp olive oil
1 cup wombok, finely shredded
1 small red capsicum, thinly sliced
1 carrot, grated
2 shallots, sliced
1 lebanese cucumber, cut into matchsticks
¼ cup mint leaves
¼ cup crushed peanuts
1 tsp fish sauce
1 tbsp sweet chilli sauce, plus extra, to serve
12 rice paper rounds

Method
Heat the oil in a non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Add the chicken breast, cooking for five minutes on each side or until cooked through. Remove from the heat and mix the garlic and lime juice through the still hot pan and stand to until it is cool enough to handle, then shred the meat.

Place the shredded chicken, lime zest, wombok, capsicum, carrot, shallots, cucumber, mint, nuts fish sauce and sweet chilli sauce into a large bowl aka everything excluding the wrappers, and mix to combine.

To assemble the rice paper rolls, soak a sheet of rice paper in warm water for 30 seconds, until it softens.

Place the rice paper onto a flat surface and place about ⅓ cup of the mixture halfway between the bottom and the centre, then turn up the bottom of the wrapper to cover the filling. Holding the filling in place, fold in the two sides, then roll up. Repeat until you’re out of wrappers. Any leftover filling goes alright as a salad.

Devour slathered in sriracha, hoisin or soy.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Oscar Gold MMXVI: Gold, Interrupted

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

As you know, I throw a very prestigious annual Oscars Party like my staunchest of rivals, Elts.

With the Oscars but a week away, I thought it best to once again let you experience some of the glitz and glamour I experience during the most wonderful time of Hollywood’s year.

Yep, you guessed it – Oscar Gold is back!

Over the week I will be catching up with my fellow Academy Award winners (I sweep the pool circa 2036) to celebrate and gossip about who will be joining the illustrious winner’s circle … and who will be relegated to this year’s version of the Loser Leo meme.

Welcome to Oscar Gold MMXVI: Gold, Interrupted!

Picture source: Toby Canham/Getty Images.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Dolognese Parton

Main, Pasta

Sweet, sweet Dolly – just thinking back on our time together makes me want to cry tears of joy and thanks for having her in our lives.

If elections were held for Grand Master of the Universe today (and let’s be honest, they should be), Dolly would win by a landslide. I mean, yes Betty White would put in a good effort, but you’ve gotta back Dolly.

We first met Dolly while travelling across America; the trip went on to inspire Mark Twain to write The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and we met Dolly after fleeing a vicious lover’s quarrel with our now second favourite Twain.

Dolly embraced us with open arms and our beautiful friendship blossomed, which over time developed into a creative collaborative similar to JGL’s empire just about half a century earlier and our story boarding was hung, literally, on the (washing) line.

Not meaning to gloat, but we were heavily involved in the following hits: 9 to 5 (actually about lowering your standards), Jolene (a mutual nemesis), I Will Always Love You (obvs), Potential New Boyfriend (I was trying to convince her I could go straight), Baby I’m Burning (about a horrific STD incident), Applejack (it took Dolly a long time to clean that up from the filth I wrote. He didn’t pluck the banjo, that is for sure) and Why’d You Come In Here Lookin’ Like That (originally written as lickin’ my twat), to name but a few.

Despite our myriad of shared successes, our friendship is the shining star with Annelie and I by her side when she married Carl, there when Billy Ray asked he to be little Destiny Hope Ray Hannah Montana’s godmother and played an integral part in the inception of Dollywood.

As soon as we saw Dolly arrive, our hearts were filled with unending joy as she serenaded her way up the path to congratulate Annelie for getting into Medicine singing Dumb Blonde (oh yeah we have news, Annelie is going to be a Doctor).

Dolly was like a proud mother as we regaled her with tales of what we’ve been up to (aside from planning a Dolly tattoo, that pride in me was misplaced) and plotted how we could spend more time with each other.

Given that Dolly is the greatest person to ever exist and she fills us with happiness and warmth, the only thing that could do her any justice was a nice big pot of Dolognese Parton.

 

Dolognese Parton_1

 

There is nothing quite like a freshly made batch of bolognese, to make you feel happy and content. Given Dolly is a total firecracker and we have a penchant for liquefying our innards, we add a good whack of chilli to the bolognese, a real good whack, and it is all the better for it.

Enjoy!

 

Dolognese Parton_2

 

Dolognese Parton
Serves: 6-8. Or 3, with plenty of leftovers.

Ingredients
olive oil
2 onions, diced
2 stalks celery, finely sliced
1 large carrot, finely sliced
3-4 cloves garlic, crushed
1kg mince, ideally 50:50 beef and pork, but go with whatever you prefer
handful mushrooms, sliced
1 glass red wine
1 tbsp dried chilli, or a couple of small chillis finely sliced or a tbsp hot sauce (go with what you prefer, we add more)
3 x 400g cans of chopped tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp dried basil
1 tbsp dried oregano
a bunch spinach, washed
spaghetti, to serve
freshly grated parmesan, to serve

Method
Heat a good lug (are we Jamie Oliver) of olive oil in a large pan or dutch oven. Go with the biggest thing you’ve got. Cook the onion, celery, carrot and garlic over medium heat for about five minutes, or until starting to tender. Add the mince and brown while breaking up with the wooden spoon.

Once the meat is brown, drain off some of the fat. Not all of it obviously, but depending on the quality of the meat you may have a ridiculous amount. Use your judgement?

Return to the pan and mix through the mushrooms until they have started to soften, it shouldn’t take longer than a couple of minutes. Add as generous a glass of red wine as your drinking will permit and cook off for a minute, before adding the chilli, canned tomatoes, tomato paste and dried herbs. Stir to combine and bring to a simmer.

Reduce heat to low and simmer half-covered for 30-45 minutes, stirring occasionally.

While the dolognese is simmer, cook spaghetti (or whatever pasta you prefer) to packet instructions. I know we should be making our own pasta, but sometimes I just can’t be bothered.

When the sauce is done, stir through the bunch of spinach to wilt and remove from the heat.

Serve dolognese on a generous bed of pasta (I don’t mix it through the sauce so I can use the leftovers for other meals) and cover liberally, a bit too liberally, with parmesan. Herby garlic bread is also a good idea.

This makes a ridiculous amount so unless you’re feeding a large family or have had a particularly rough week and wine just isn’t cutting it, you will have to freeze the leftovers for another meal. Or for jaffles. Or actually, I’ve got an idea …

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Candice Burgern

Carnival Week, Main, Party Food

While most people fell in love with Candice Bergen as TV’s erstwhile queen, Murphy Brown, Annelie and I first met and befriended Candi on the set of her Oscar nominated turn in Starting Over where we were working as assistants to our close friend Jill Clayburgh.

We also got our friend Kevie Bacon a role but that is a story for another time.

We saw something special in Candi and she us, and it was only Candice who was able to mend the feud between Annelie and I on set after we realised the other was also sleeping with Burt Reynolds.

Candice was in town to commence work on a gritty-Murphy Brown reboot we envision on Netflix. While we are just in the planning stages, we know Sorkin is interested in finding a project to work on with us, so this could be the ticket.

Planning a future critically acclaimed reboot can be draining work, so we made sure to relax at the Ekka (Candi has always wanted to attend) and refuel with our famous Candice Burgern.

 

Candice Burgern_1

 

While Australians are apparently terrible at making burgers, we would argue that Candice’s eponymous burger is a pretty simple classic elevated by a Shake Shack inspired sauce that packs a little kick.

Enjoy!

 

Candice Burgern_2

 

Candice Burgern
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 hamburger buns
500g beef mince
8 rashers shortcut bacon
8 slices of cheddar, from the block
2 tomatoes, sliced
spinach leaves, to taste
sliced gherkin, to taste

Sauce
½ cup mayonnaise
1 tbsp ketchup
1 tbsp mustard
1 dill pickle
¼ tsp garlic powder
¼ tsp paprika
Pinch cayenne pepper

Method
Place mince in a medium bowl, draining as much excess fluid as possible, and season generously with salt and pepper. Work the mince until it is coming together and form into four equal size patties. Place on a cling-lined plate and refrigerate for 30 mins to an hour.

While burgers are chilling, combine all sauce ingredients in a blender/food processor and work until smooth. Transfer to a small bowl, cover in cling and place in fridge until ready to use.

While the sauce is enjoying the company of the patties, get to work slicing your cheese, tomatoes, gherkin and washing the spinach leaves aka mise en place-ing like a boss.

Remove patties from the fridge and place a large frying pan over medium heat until it is warm. Slice buns in half and fry, face down, until lightly toasted. Transfer to a plate, repeating the process until they are all done.

Fry bacon rashers until crispy and cooked, turning mid-way through. Remove to a plate and keep warm.

Place patties in the fry pan and fry for 3-5 minutes before flipping. Once flipped, cover the cooked side of the patties with cheese and fry for a further 3-5 minutes. Remove the pan from heat.

Now to the annoying part, assembly! I always get anxious when putting burgers together as they have a tendency to fall apart, but this order seems to be less terrible than others I’ve done resulting in the top half sliding on to the floor.

Remove sauce from fridge and liberally coat. each side of the buns. Line the base with sliced tomato and top with spinach leaves. Carefully place the hot, cheesy patty on top of the spinach (this kind of wilts the spinach and helps it stay together), then the bacon and gherkin.

Then quickly close the burger and devour so that you can’t disprove my theory that this order builds a stable burger. Thanks!

Oh, obviously serve generously with freshly cooked fries.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Mickey Rooney Cheese

Americana Week, Main

The year was 1962 and life was grand, except for the part where Mickey Rooney put a hit out on us.

Ben and I met Mickey in the late 1930s at the height of his Vaudeville days – as fellow Vaudevillians we bonded instantly. Our deep friendship allowed us to convince him to take the iconic role as Breakfast at Tiffany’s Mr Yunioshi, something he regretted but we certainly didn’t.

In addition to scouting roles for Mickey, we also managed his financial affairs, inevitably leading to his extraordinary bankruptcy in 1962. Look, we tried to tell him, Mickey – you need to lay off the alcohol, the burgers and the women – but he wouldn’t listen to his closest friends.

Time (and alcohol-riddled events) softened the rift between us, however it was only now that Ben and I decided to time-travel back to 2012 and make proper amends with our old friend.

Mickey Rooney is a true hollywood hero amongst us. Vanity Fair lauded him as the original hollywood trainwreck – something not even Ben and I have been able to top. After eight marriages (seven of which we split up), two bankruptcies and one yellow-face saga, his legacy is truly worthy of admiration. Farewell to you and your clusterfuck of a life, Mr Rooney.

 

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We needed to offer something simultaneously comforting and denture-appropriate. Something that went down well with a few cheeky beverages as we reminisced and cat-fought over days gone by. Mickey Rooney Cheese seemed the perfect option.

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

FullSizeRender

 

Mickey Rooney Cheese
Serves: 8

Ingredients
500g macaroni pasta
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
3 cups milk
1 cup cream
2 cups mixed grated cheese (we prefer cheddar, gruyere and parmesan)
2 tablespoons dijon mustard
200g stale sourdough, processed into crumbs
1/2 cup melted butter, extra

Method
Preheat oven to 180 degrees. Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil. Cook macaroni according to packet directions.

While macaroni is cooking, make a roux with butter and flour. Whisk in milk, cream and mustard and simmer until thickened. Add 1.5 cups cheese and season to taste. In a separate bowl, mix bread crumbs and additional butter.

Mix macaroni and cheese sauce together and pour into 8-cup capacity baking dish. Top with bread crumb mixture and sprinkle with 1/2 cup leftover cheese. Bake in hot oven for 20 minutes or until breadcrumbs are toasted and cheese is melted.

Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers

Americana Week, Main, Party Food, Side, Snack

While our relationship with Alec Baldwin is volatile (let’s be honest, do any of the three of us have a non-volatile relationship?), it can not be denied that the man is an American icon and as such earns his place on our Americana Week celebrations.

We first met Alec on the set of Beetlejuice where we were his sworn enemies, but were won over while working together on Working Girl (we were script advisors) and it is this up and down between love and hate that has defined our relationship over the decades.

After we got him the role of The Shadow, he vowed to never turn away from us again and it was following its horrific release when he first used the term cocksucking faggot. The second time was after we called him useless in our lauded film, Team America.

Following years feuding and feeding information to Kim Basinger (we leaked the conversation with Ireland) and the paps, our dear friend Teens got in touch on his behalf, hoping that she can help mend our fences once and for all.

While the 30 Rock years were dreamy for our relationship, it has been strained ever since when he, again, referred to me as a cocksucking faggot to reporters. How dare he not mention that I was also beautiful? I do not tolerate sub-standard compliments (I don’t see how being a cocksucking faggot, isn’t a good thing).

Alec heard that we were in the country at the behest of Barack and wanted to try and win me back following his thoughtless oversights and as such, we dropped by.

To say Alec was laying on the charm is a major understatement, complimenting our high-Hollywood-society return (we assume he wants a career boost) and was hoping to get an invite to White House (please).

The only consolation we could offer was a batch of (his favourite) Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers!

 

Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers_1

 

Like Alec, the balls are fiery and really pack a punch. If you’re not a fan of blue cheese, you could leave it out and ignore the stuffing steps.

Obviously Alec wanted me to leave in the cheese, he never could resist the creamy ooze from my balls popping in his mouth.

Enjoy!

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers_2

 

Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil
¼ cup unsalted butter
⅓ cup hot sauce, plus more for serving
500g chicken mince
1 egg
½ cup celery, minced in food processor
½ cup carrot, minced in food processor
¾ cups dried breadcrumbs
1 teaspoons coarse salt
150g (ish) blue cheese, broken into small shards

Method
Preheat oven to 180 C.

Place butter and hot sauce in a small saucepan and cook, whisking, over low heat until butter is melted and hot sauce is well incorporated. Remove from heat and transfer to a bowl to cool until room temperature (about 10 minutes).

Add chicken, eggs, celery, carrot, breadcrumbs and salt to bowl with the butter/hot sauce mixture and mix until well combined. Roll chicken mixture into large walnut sized round balls, flatten and place a piece of blue cheese in the centre, closing the meat around it.

Place balls on a lined prepared baking sheet, arranging in rows so that they are touching. Transfer to oven and bake until cooked, about 15 minutes.

Take out of oven and leave to stand for about 5 minutes before serving platter. Drizzle with extra hot sauce if desired, otherwise just devour.

Empanada Stone

Main, Party Food, Snack

You know what is odd about our friendship with Emma Stone? We didn’t meet her in any kind of institution or other involuntary lock-up that normally leads to such beautiful friendships. Look, Ben did get locked up briefly after befriending two delightful old ducks from Washington and proceeding to get raucously drunk and heckle Emma during a performance of Cabaret – but Ben’s unceremonious turfing out wasn’t Emma’s fault. Despite taking out a restraining order against us, she clearly loved the fuss.

So how did we meet? Emma she had just finished filming Easy A and found that we had a mutual nemesis – the eternally smug-faced Penn Badgley. Penn attempted to steal Ben’s identity when he was majorly internet famous during the Great Moustache Cultivation of 2013. Let’s be honest, you don’t really need a reason to hate Penn Badgley, so having one was a bonus.

While our antics may have gotten Penn sectioned, Ben and I stayed out of involuntary confinement for a change – all in all a great success.

 

emma1

 

Despite the Cabaret incident, Emma has fond memories of the days of sabotaging Penn. As she now has a vendetta against whoever cast her in Aloha, she wanted to come over for lunch and discuss a glorious new revenge plot. We needed a recipe that would work like our fool-proof schemes – soft and buttery and inviting on the outside, with a fiery inferno waiting within. It had to be Empanada Stones.

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

emma 2

 

Empanada Stone
Serves: 16 empanadas

Ingredients
Dough
2.5 cups plain flour
150g butter, cold
1 teaspoon salt
1 large egg
1 tablespoon white vinegar
iced water, to bind

Filling
500g minced beef
2 eggs, hard boiled and cooled
100g chopped mixed olives
1 brown onion, finely diced
2 cloves garlic, crushed2 tablespoons tomato paste
1  cup beef stock
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon dried oregano

Egg, additional for washing pastry

Method
Dough
Rub butter into sifted flour. Stir through egg and vinegar, and then add iced water until pastry binds. Knead gently until a disc is formed. Wrap in clingfilm and refrigerate for 30 mins.

Filling
Brown mince and soften onion in a large stove-top casserole dish. Add garlic, tomato paste and spices and cook until aromatic. Add stock and simmer for 30 minutes or until thick.

Stir through olives and chopped egg and allow mixture to cool to room temperature.

Assembly
Heat oven to 180 degrees C. Grease and line a large baking tray.

Roll out pastry to approximately 0.5cm thick and cut rounds of desired size. Fill with 2-3 tablespoons of mixture and press to seal, pressing with a fork along the sealed edge.Brush each empanada lightly with egg wash.

Bake 20-25 mins or until golden and crisp.