Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World nine queens came together from across the road, uniting the best and brightest that Canada, Thailand, Holland and the US have to offer against a trio of UK icons. As quickly as they came together on the stage, poor Lemon was sent packing, quickly followed by the iconic Cheryl Hole. After that, things started to truly get wild as the winner of the first two challenges Jimbo was eliminated by Pangina. In turn, after taking out Snatch Game, Blu took a leaf out of her book and eliminated Pangina for being the biggest threat.
When the US girls took out the final challenge, they both decided to keep things fair(ish) as they both picked Janey to go home. Juju because she felt Janey did the worst in the challenge, while Mo did it to protect Blu. Though since it was Juju who won the lip sync, I will focus on that.
Team US and Team UK took the stage one final time for the lip sync smack down for the crown, with Mo eliminating Baga in the first round before Blu bested Juju and booked her place in the final lip sync. Before charming her way through the final performance with all the camp that British drag has to offer, eliminating Mo and claiming the title of Queen of the World.
While Blue entered the competition feeling like a filler queen, she well and truly stamped her place in the competition, cementing her legacy and booking her place in the Winner’s Circle. All before she stopped looking like she was in school.
Backstage I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her on jagging the win and while her prize may not exactly be the best, she was thrilled to be able to swap smutty jokes with me as the winner. And down round after round of Blu Skydrangeas.
It always feels a little redundant when it comes to talking up alcohol (maybe that should tell me something), but this one is a real winner. Fresh and fruity, it is the perfect way to celebrate victory or dream of a bright, sunny day.
Enjoy!
Blu Skydrangea Serves: 1.
Ingredients ice 30ml gin 30ml lime juice 30ml blue curaçao 15ml cherry liqueur lemonade, to top
Method Pop the ice, gin, lime juice, blue curaçao and cherry liqueur in a cocktail shaker and shake until well combined.
Pour into a highball glass and top up with some lemonade. Down and repeat.
Previously on Australian Survivor Nina struggled with her guilt after joining her alliance to get rid of her mother, though was emotionally getting ready to take absolute control of the game. The Blood tribe dominated the next immunity challenge – why couldn’t this challenge have been an episode earlier?! – sending the new Water tribe to tribal council. And Sophie into paranoia mode as she spent the afternoon stressing out about Sam voting her out again and hunting for an idol. This sadly led to her sister KJ breaking down given she was quickly becoming more and more at risk of becoming collateral damage amongst her chaos. After Sam and Sophie got into a(nother) massive fight at tribal, we learnt Sophie didn’t actually find an idol and as such she was voted out for good. This time by her own sister.
Back at camp KJ was sad to have voted out her little sister, though the tribe kindly rallied around her to make sure she was ok before she quietly cried by the fire, vowing to make her sister proud. And well, we need to protect KJ at all costs because she is one of the sweetest, kindest people to grace the planet.
The next day things were far more chill as the tribe snuggled together and bonded, with KJ feeling relaxed now that she only has to worry about herself. Sam meanwhile was worried about what sort of a relationship she could have with KJ moving forward before she caught up with Chrissy, who suggested Michelle and KJ should be the next two to go. So maybe she won’t have to worry if Chrissy gets her way. Either way Sam didn’t appear to be sold on the idea before she moved on to Khanh in the water, who admitted he was kind of shocked he wasn’t blindsided at the last tribal council given it would have been the perfect cover for them to use. Sam opened up to us about loving Khanh and enjoying working with him, though admitted she wasn’t sure if he and his idol would end up being an asset or a curse for her game.
Meanwhile over at Blood, Nina and Jordan were swapping war stories while poor Amy was just feeling left right out, unsure how to read any of the relationships in the new tribe and missing the good old days. Like when Sandra was here, I assume. She had a quick chat with Mark about relationships on Blood, with Amy disappointed that her relationship with Jordan had changed now that his cousin was around. Speaking of Josh, we finally heard from him and learnt he was loving being reunited with his cousin, despite how much of a target it puts on their backs. We also finally got his backstory and learnt about him being a pilot, which would have been useful information before Jonathan ran his mouth about his profession every damn challenge.
Josh realised that he couldn’t rely solely on his cousin however, so approached Nina about firmly up their alliance. Which she was happy with. For now.
The tribes met up with Jonathan for the latest reward challenge where they would face off, two by two, on a pontoon where one person from each tribe would have to try and pull a pole through a knot to knock their rival off the edge. With the first tribe to three getting a feast of fish and chips, which had Chrissy speechless, which is a feat in itself. Mark and Croc were first to battle trying to knock off Jordie and Jesse, and since Jordie got Sandra out, I look forward to him going into the drink. Which tragically meant Mark saved him and took out the first round for Blood. Sam and Chrissy were up next against Shay and Mel, with Nina and Mark assuring Mel to just hold firm until Chrissy tires. Which didn’t happen as her fire for food was enough to send Shay into the water and tie things up.
KJ and Ben were up next against Amy and Josh with the newly introduced pilot besting Ben out of nowhere, despite the latter’s prowess at furiously pulling on his pole. From Jonathan’s mouth to my ears! Josh and Jordan teamed up against Khanh and Croc in the next round with Jordan narrowly taking out victory for Blood after a very hard fought battle before poor Croc lost his grip. Much to his absolute dismay.
Back at camp the Blood tribe were delighted to find their bountiful feast of fish and chips, despite the fact I hate the idea of salad also being brought into the equation. We then learnt that Shay had been vegan for over six years but recently started eating fish again and as such, she was pumped to eat anything and everything in sight. Cutlery be damned. Jordie meanwhile was smashing lemons, while Josh was busy stressing about Mel’s bond with Mark given she isn’t as strong as other people. And he just doesn’t really click with her. Oh and then we got a bunch of flight puns and while I normally live for a pun, I wasn’t feeling it because I live in hope we’ll one day meet the twins.
We then ventured back to the Water tribe with Chrissy frustrated to still have an empty, ever shrinking belly. She opened up to Croc about how exhausted she is and how much she is missing her babies and ugh, watching her hold back tears was difficult. Khanh noticed how everyone was feeling down, sharing with us that he didn’t really care about missing out on the food given all he cares about is immunity. Oh and when you start losing rewards, you see who is really struggling with their emotions and as such, it paints a target on other people’s backs. Chrissy meanwhile tried to get Ben to believe in himself, rather than treating himself so harshly whenever he loses. While Khanh and Sam floated the idea of going after him at the earliest convenience because of his post-loss mood.
And please Khanh, don’t make me lose one of my speedo zaddies so soon!
The tribes reunited with Jonathan in the middle of the bush for the next immunity challenge where the tribes would have to walk through a floating obstacle one at a time carrying a spool before stacking them on the end of the apparatus. With the first tribe to balance all of their spools taking out victory. Amy quickly whipped through the course for the Blood tribe while Michelle took the slow and steady approach for Water. Sam quickly tried to close the gap with Shay and from there, everything appeared to be pretty even until Jordie placed his spool off centre, leading to Jordan almost knocking off their stack and having to wait for things to stabilise before he continued. And then it ended up dropping completely as soon as he re-started, giving Water a huge advantage, allowing them to take things slow as Blood started over once again. Which proved too much to come back from as Ben placed the final Water spool and took out immunity for his tribe.
And more importantly, earned his redemption from the reward loss.
Back at camp the tribe were gutted to have lost the challenge, none more so than Jordan even though it was all actually Jordie’s fault. But whatever. Thankfully, he was feeling a-ok despite the fact the OG Blood tribe were outnumbered, given his cousin is very well connected. Josh crossed over to talk to Dave and Jordan to float the idea of getting rid of Mel, given she is very non-committal whenever he tries to talk to her about alliance. Since they had no other real options, they readily agreed and the idea quickly whipped all through camp as everyone got on board.
When Jordan went to loop in his dear friend Amy, she decided enough was enough and as such, she wanted to split up the last remaining duo in the tribe as they had gotten so cocky. Amy went to Dave and Mel, quickly getting them on board with her plan to take out Jordan before approaching Mark to gauge his interest. Who obviously said he was keen but reminded her they still needed another person to pull it off and as such, she approached Shay. Who tragically went straight back to Josh and filled him in on her plan to split up the cousins.
Josh immediately pulled all the boys aside to catch up with Jordan – who was bathing in his speedos like a king – and quickly flipped the vote on Amy instead of Mel. Feeling confident, the cousins pulled in anyone and everyone in the tribe, locking in the OG Water tribe to vote for Amy while the OG Blood would vote for Mel. However thankfully when Nina found out, she wasn’t really into the idea of getting rid of Amy and as such, she was thrilled when Amy approached her to get rid of Jordan. Particularly since if she wants to be Josh’s number one, she needs to get rid of his cousin to lock in his loyalty to her.
At tribal council Jordan freely admitted that his stumble in the challenge could have painted a target on his back, with Josh doubling down on the strategy of keeping the best challenge performers in the competition despite his cousin allegedly causing their loss. Dave jumped in and defended Amy, pointing out she was far and away the best in this challenge, which Josh really didn’t seem interested in listening to. Amy opened up about her difficult position post-swap, though was hopeful she was able to make friends before talk turned to making moves and taking risks, because they all need a resume to take out the win.
Jonathan reminded them all of Sandra’s advice to focus on making decisions that are best for their individual games which Nina agreed was the greatest advice, given a compelling argument can quickly cloud your judgement and distract from what you need to do. Mel meanwhile focused on the fact the game will soon change again when the tribes merge and as such, they need to start making decisions based on what will help them later. Nina agreed that it is a massive complication and there are so many moving parts, leading to Josh and Jordan both talking about sticking to their word. Though Nina assured us that she knows who she wants to wake up with the next morning and that decision is what is best for her game.
With that the tribe voted and while I was hopeful Amy’s plan against my speedo king would come together, she was tragically booted from the game ending our week of hard losses. Like her brother, Amy is an absolutely delightful icon and obviously, we are the dearest of friends. While I was kicked off Masterchef during Khanh’s season and wiped for the record, we became super close before I met Amy and became even closer with her. Maybe because my parents were going to call me Amy if I were a girl.
As such, it was so wonderful to be there for my girl when she arrived in Loser Lodge. While she was disappointed to go so soon, I reminded her that in many ways, being swap-screwed is the best way to go, given it is one of those instances where there is really nothing you could do. And you know, blame your demise on that. With that, we had many a laugh before toasting her success with a big ol’ Amy Melong Ball.
While this may not be my favourite cocktail, it is so camp and kitsch that I will never turn it down. I mean, it is called a melon ball and the garnish IS A MELON BALL.
Enjoy!
Amy Melong Ball Serves: 1.
Ingredients ice 60ml Midori 30ml vodka orange juice melon balls, to garnish
Method Fill a glass with ice and pour in the midori and vodka before topping with orange juice (which I may have forgotten about and just doubled the recipe).
As my love Jonathan reminded us, previously on Australian Survivor we staged a brutal, epic battle between brians and brawn to see who would reign supreme. Which, spoiler alert, was a brain who was also super strong which kinda means you need a little bit of yin and yang to win, no? On and said all rounder, was the iconic Hayley who managed to navigate around George’s wild game, being booted and coming back from redemption and Cara’s passion for cooking plans.
But I’ve digressed. Like early season Probst transferring the final tribal council votes, Jonathan then literally jumped in a leftover Mad Max car from the BvB opening and drove himself through the outback from the desert of Cloncurry into the stunning oasis that is the land of the Gudjala People near the township of Charters Towers. Eventually he pulled up, issued his 47 days line and well, I have goosebumps!
First we met brothers Jordie and Jessie who look equal parts goofy and athletic, though they assured us that they were competitive best mates. Jessie is the one they’d get to lead them into a battle, while Jordie would be best for leading to the pub. And just like that, I live for Jordie. Sisters KJ and Sophie were up next with Sophie sharing how direct she is, while KJ is sneaky. And given Sophie is proudly controversial and outspoken, I have a feeling KJ will be making it further.
Ex-Rooster Michael Crocker – aka Croc – and his sister-in-law were ready to fight, well he was. She is proudly uncoordinated, thinks that tribal council is called tribunal and most importantly, is giving off big Cara energy and well, I love her already. Chrissy is life, long live Chrissy. King Khanh from Masterchef was joined in the game by his equally iconic sister Amy and well, I am ready for Khanh to come in and play as equally cutthroat as Sandra.
Speaking of former players, Andy is back looking for redemption alongside his sister Kate and ugh, I hate how triggered I am by Andy because I want to like him, however I know we’d have the same trajectory if I played the game and that makes me sad. Thankfully his sister Kate seems super sweet and ready to help him navigate the social aspect better than his first season. They were joined by Mark and Sam who met on season 2, fell in love and are now married with a super cute son. And damn, I hope we get the chaotic, controlling Sam from her first season because she was FUN.
Then, the moment we’ve all been waiting for – SANDRA AND NINA, officially, confirmed, here. Australia! They quickly jumped in a chopper and as the 22 other castaways – or peasants – climbed rocky terrain to meet Jonathan by a watering hole before it landed unveiling the Queen to her subjects. Or, well, fellow competitors. While Chrissy incorrectly identified Sandra as Oprah at first, the cast were gagged to see the Queen down under alongside her daughter. We then got a supercut of Sandra’s greatest hits including dumping the fish, burning a hat and eating sugar and gah, I just love her so much. And Nina seems so bubbly and fun and ugh, I. Am. Ready.
I mean, Sandra is ready to beat her own daughter down.
After everyone calmed down, Jonathan quickly painted a target on Sandra’s back, pointing out she is the queen. Thankfully, Nina quoted Sandra’s I don’t know about that when Sandra said she was confident in her chances, so maybe she will have trouble getting her third win. Particularly since Croc admitted to being a bit nervous to face off against former players, though was ready to fight them which you know means, get rid of them ASAP.
Surprising everyone on the shore but not a soul watching, Jonathan split everyone up from their loved ones putting one on each of the tribes. Before they were immediately tasked with battling it out in the first reward challenge of the season for a welcome fire pit. Which is a pretty epic way to start the game, TBH. One by one, each pair would face off racing down a slide into the water to grab a ring, which they need to drag over to a long, hard pole. First up were Jesse and Jordie with Jesse whipping down the slide before his big brother dragged him all the way to his pole, scoring the first point for the Water tribe. Because yes, we’ve gone from Brains, Brawn and Fire to Blood and Water.
KJ and Sophie were up next with the latter ready to destroy her sister, which she did, after a brutal fight, tying things up between the tribes. Andy kindly helped his sister up the stairs before scoring the second point for his tribe. What looked to be the most mis-matched pairing in Croc and Chrissy was actually a decent fight as Chrissy threw her body around and nearly dragged her brother-in-law over to her pole before he got a second wind and tied things up between the tribes. Then Sandra faced off against Nina and well, these two are just the best. I mean, neither were tall enough to grab the ring off the hook at first and then fought tooth and nail until Nina pulled the ring out of her mum’s hands and snatched victory for the Water tribe.
We followed the Water tribe back to camp where Chrissy realised that she is a little over her head given she hates the outdoors and is already losing her fake tan. Andy meanwhile rallied the group and congratulated them on their killer win. Which Chrissy struggled to celebrate given she is without her support system in Croc. Thankfully she is so charming and hilarious, I see her doing well after that initial shock wears off. The tribe sat in the water and did a quick getting to know you session, with Andy this time opting to go the honest route. Though given the editors gave him the joker music, I’m scared for him. As Mark opened up about his life, Jordie outed his brother Jesse as a huge fan of Mark and well, his edit is already night and day with Andy in how likeable and magnetic he is coming across. While Mark is a literal soldier, Andy took the lead on building their shelter which filled Mark with absolute joy as the target was firmly being painted on Andy, rather than him.
Meanwhile over at the Blood tribe, Jesse was mostly disappointed about losing to his brother rather than losing the challenge. More importantly, he is a superfan that is in awe of Sandra and I love him for it. Jesse and Jordie forever! After everyone else introduced themselves, the tribe got to work building the shelter as Sandra worried about a target being painted on her back. Jesse admitted that it would take him a while to get comfortable in front of her given he is such a fan, with Sandra calmly reminding him that she is just a person that is looking to fit in and ugh, I love her.
Sandra admitted that she knows the odds are against her as the queen, particularly given how physical Australian Survivor is, but as always, she will bide her time until she can take control and win.
The next day the tribe were trying to get comfortable, while Sophie quickly realised she was in the middle of the bush. Which is what happens when an animal licks you on the face while you sleep, to be honest. We then learnt a little more about her, a former WAG and super successful business woman and most importantly, she is bi so I will stan her until my dying breath.
Over at the Water tribe, most of them settled down for breakfast as Queen Shayelle – aka Slayelle – wandered around camp, collecting firewood and being an absolute provider. Though she did open up about feeling overwhelmed being apart from her partner Ben and ugh, I love her too. Which has nothing to do with the fact that she is so strong she could murder me with her bare hands. Honest. She started to bond with Briana who is kind and bubbly, though Shay quickly pegged her as a threat given her likability will take her far and as such, she will need to be cut eventually.
While collecting paperbark, Shay found the first clue of the season and quickly pulled Briana aside to fill her in on the deets. With said deets being that the hidden immunity idol is literally stuck to the front of Jonathan’s podium at tribal council. The first catch being they need to snag it in front of the tribe to activate it and the second being that there was a second clue hidden somewhere in their camp. Which was promptly found by tribunal queen Chrissy in front of most of her tribemates. Though given she is unsure about what tribal council is, I assume Shay and Briana are all good, right?
The tribes reconvened with my love Jonathan for the first epic immunity challenge where we learnt poor Alex had somehow sustained an injury and had to be supported (or carried) as they arrived at the challenge. His ‘in-law’ Jay was rattled by how pained his (ex-)girlfriend’s brother was, though it was quickly dropped to make way from some brief shade amongst loved ones. After which Jonathan explained that the tribes would have to race over a ramp carrying a battering ramp before smashing some walls, climbing over a ladder and then smashing a series of targets. And since Alex was injured, he was sitting out of the challenge with the Blood tribe also having to sit someone out to make things fair, with Andy’s sister Kate volunteering.
Which is iconic, since Sandra stayed silent, desperate to prove herself in a challenge and I live for that fire.
The tribes both shot out of the gate at the first obstacle with the Water tribe getting out to the earliest of leads on the walls until Croc took control, directing the Blood tribe and pushing them ahead. The Water tribe continued to struggle with the second wall as the Blood tribe whipped up the tower and started to toss their hammers at the targets, after a wistful look back at Shay from Ben and honestly, swoon. I ship the shit out of them. Croc and Jordan tossed hammer after hammer, only taking out one before Jay and Ben traded out and quickly knocked out two more. All while the Water tribe continued to work at their second wall before Mark straight up charged at it himself. Sophie switched out with Jay before she and Ben took out the last two targets and snatched immunity for their tribe.
Most importantly, keeping Sandra in the game for one more episode.
Back at camp the tribe discovered their fire had gone out in their absence which is just rubbing salt in the wounds at this point. Chrissy was worried about Alex, having quickly bonded with him and loving how kind and calm he is. As Mel tried to give him a consult, thankfully being a chiropractor, Chrissy and Jordie spoke about how nervous they are for him. Andy meanwhile was relishing the thought of going to tribal council, though tried to play things cool. As the tribe caught up in the water, Andy floated the idea of booting Alex which honestly makes sense given he can barely walk but given the looks on everyone else’s faces, I’m not sure it will be this cut and dry.
Shay and Briana meanwhile went for a walk to come up with a game plan for snatching the idol before Chrissy, to ideally get out the icon. They caught up with Nina, Khanh and Jordie by the well, with everyone agreeing that Chrissy is a liability to the tribe and needs to go. Nina however was just agreeing to their face, having learnt from her mother not to idly sit by and make decisions that benefit other people’s games and as such, knowing that she can’t work with Andy, she wanted to get rid of him instead. As such, she pulled Mark aside to talk things through with him before getting Mark to straight up suggest they get rid of Andy instead and ugh, how are the Diaz-Twine’s this damn good at the game?!
Jordie snuck up on them like a larrikin before quickly switching into game mode, willing to jump on board to get rid of Andy. Nina decided she would work on KJ and Mel, while Jordie would get Josh and Alex on board while all of them tell Andy that Alex will get the boot and ugh, I feel bad for him.
Speaking of Josh and Alex, they were catching up with Chrissy with Alex sharing how heartbroken he would be to be the first boot. Meanwhile Nina was busy pulling KJ and Mel in on the plan before finding Khanh and easily getting him on side too. She then caught up with Andy, Mark and Jordie, calmly talking about getting rid of Alex at tribal council before Andy threw out the idea of splitting the vote between Alex and Chrissy. Which only made Nina more concerned about Andy, and therefore confident in her decision.
At tribal council Alex spoke about how disappointed he was to be injured before the first immunity challenge and how big of a target it has put on his back. Out of nowhere, Shay and Chrissy jumped up to claim the immunity idol, with the former circling the podium as Chrissy calmly snatched it out from underneath her rival. And ugh, Slayelle, I was rooting for you! Jordie pointed out that that really shows what kind of game they’re playing, while Andy suggested the idol hasn’t changed anything for him. Which is something everyone agreed with, while Briana suggested that sometimes knowing there is an idol in the game means they have to burn some votes to get rid of it, threatening my love Chrissy.
Jordie spoke about the battle between everyone’s minds ahead of tribal council, admitting that it was hard to vote out someone you like even though they are injured. Briana continued her attack and straight up called out Chrissy for being a weak link in the challenge and let’s just say, the icon was not happy about it. On the flipside, Andy praised everyone for being so great and putting in so much effort. But he was also very ready to get rid of Alex given he is injured. Chrissy reiterated that Alex is likely in a little bit of trouble, while Nina admitted she was parking Alex’s injury and instead wanted to come out of tribal council knowing who she can trust. While Andy assured everyone that if he spoke to them today, he wants to work with them.
With that the tribe voted and despite Alex literally spending most of the day in excruciating pain, Chrissy (needlessly) played her idol on herself and Princess Nina got her way as Andy found himself becoming the first boot.
And ugh, I feel so bad for the guy. Despite Nina and Mark already proving to be an iconic duo.
I was surprisingly overwhelmed to see Andy arrive at Loser Lodge, knowing how hard it would have been to come back after his first season only to try and adapt his game, only to quickly be cut from the game. Again, because I fear I would fare similarly should I ever accept Jonathan’s standing invitation to compete. I pulled him in for a hug, told him how proud of him I was and reminded him that he was just blindsided by Sandra’s daughter, which as a superfan, should be an honour. After which I toasted to his Survivor career with a fresh Irish Shandy Meldrum.
My brother went through a period of advocating for the majesty of a shandy, though in my opinion, they generally end up ruining both the lemonade and the beer. But by adding a bit of whiskey, it truly makes it sing. Or at the very least, it makes it pack more of a punch which is honestly what you want after becoming the first boot.
Enjoy!
Irish Shandy Meldrum Serves: 1.
Ingredients ¼ cup Irish whiskey ½ cup beer, ideally IPA for the flavour ½ cup lemonade
Method Pour the shot into a glass, followed by the beer and then lemonade.
Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes switched up, shunting the previously liberated Cara back to the Brain slums though thankfully stacking it with her friends. She and the Brawns first planned to take out Georgia, but Cara messed things up – or cooked it, if you will – and booted Daini by mistake. Meanwhile Hayley was very busy being a boss after blindsiding Joey, threatening the Brawn majority that she will happily idol out one of the OG Brawns if they don’t join her and the Brains. And since Wai and Andrew were both immune at the double tribal council, the Brawns had a 50:50 shot of getting things right. As such, Simon and co jumped ship and booted Shannon while Laura was the victim on Brains given Georgia was on medical leave and Rachel was also immune. But Laura got lucky, given the two tribes were solely booting one person and SImon went to town turning everyone on Shannon and she exited the game.
The next day things were relatively calm over in Camp Brawn, with Simon grateful to have won the battle with Shannon. While Flick was the only one to not vote in the majority, she was quickly bonding with Andrew and Wai, perfecting their shelter and keeping the camp functioning. Like a social Queen. Meanwhile Simon and Dani pulled Hayley aside to solidify their bond, with Simon sharing that he is so glad that she didn’t waste her idol because they’re all solid and Flick is screwed. Essentially. Sadly for him, the Brains are not on board with things as Hayley got to work building a bond with Flick to lock in the majority instead. And you know, get rid of Chelsea, Dani and Simon.
While Flick was obviously gutted to lose her ally Shannon, she had already moved on and was ready to jump ship and lock things in with the Brains. And well, the way she and Hayley spoke about the stupidity of Dani and Simon thinking an alliance of seven is better than their new one of five was just peak Survivor slash Queen players. Long may they rule, despite Simon’s speedo.
We checked in with the Brains where Kez was busy brushing her teeth with charcoal while Laura was just shocked to still be in the game after the last tribal. Laura clearly saw the breakdown of the alliances within the tribe and while there were no ins, she was ready to continue building relationships until one appeared. And well, maybe something is, as she and Kez went for a walk to chat. Which immediately made Cara and George very nervous, particularly the former given she straight up made a mistake and cost Daini the game. Something that enraged Kez.
My love Jonathan returned for the reward challenge where three people from each tribe would have to hold a pole across their shoulders with weights routinely added throughout the challenge. For tacos and margs, so you know the rewardless Cara was desperate for the Brains to pull something out. Gerald, Emmett and Kez stepped up for their tribe, battling Baden, Simon and Chelsea for the Brawns. Under George’s orders, the Brains opted to load most of the weight on Chelsea to eliminate her early, while Gerald was weighed down by the Brawns. After George decided Chelsea was struggling enough and likely to drop soon, he directed the tribe to focus on Simon to eliminate another threat. Which was wise, given Chelsea was the first one to drop at 35 minutes. She was quickly joined by Baden, leaving Simon as the sole person fighting for Brawn. Proving that George truly is an asset. Kez was the first one to drop for Brains, followed by Gerald who dropped out of nowhere after a lapse in concentration. Emmet and Simon continued to fight for over an hour, reaching 90kgs until Simon dropped and handed Brains victory.
And Queen Cara, the first bit of luxury in over two weeks.
The Brains were thrilled to discover their taco cart back at camp, with Cara in particular grateful for actual food. George meanwhile was just thrilled to knock back some margies, like the iconic Shonella themselves. While everyone joyously ate their tacos, the tribe got an even more joyous surprise to see Georgia return to camp, delighted that she was feeling better. Before plying her with tacos and margaritas, two of the worst things for an upset stomach. She reunited with Laura and Rach, ready to fight for their lives while Emmett, Gerald and Kez doubled down on the fact that one of them needed to go. ASAP.
Jonathan returned for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes would need to push a sled through obstacles and fill it with sand bags they collect along the way, before using said sand bags to knock down a series of targets and snatch immunity. Brawn got out to the earliest of leads, collecting all of their sandbags and barrelling to the end while Emmett desperately tried to collect them, practically single handedly, for the Brains. While Emmett continued his heroics for the Brains, Dani slayed on the slingshot, knocking out two tiles before their rivals even made it to the end. As Gerald desperately tried to close the gap, Simon traded in for Brawn and cracked their third. Then Emmett traded out for Gerald and damn, he is a beast, knocking out three of the tiles just before Simon took out immunity for the Brawns. Just.
Back at camp things were feeling a little bit tense with Emmett frustrated to lose again, despite being immensely glad to be in the majority. Which really helps to dull the pain. He pulled the Brawn plus Cara and George majority aside and decided that since they continue to fail at taking out the minority, they will just vote for one person and hope for the best that it is the right one. Quickly locking in Georgia as the easy vote.
Returning to the camp, Georgia pulled Emmett aside to see what she could possibly do to save herself. She immediately questioned why he aligned with George and Cara, with Emmett admitting that they are volatile and as such, she proposed he joined with the Brain girls to take one of them out instead. Georgia continued to play into all of their fears and stroked their egos, with Kez joining and agreeing that she’d prefer some more stability in her allies. Particularly given Simon will come for her eventually. Sadly for the ladies, Emmett was having none of it and told them as much, apologising and wandering off while they prepared for their inevitable doom.
This infuriated Georgia, who was ready to do anything to tear him down and beat the patriarchy. The Brains girls opted to try and get Cara out no matter what, with Rachel deciding their best hope would be to pull Kez over to their side to at the very least, tie things up. Rachel and Laura pulled her aside, with Kez admitting that she is annoyed to be aligned with Cara given she ended Daini’s game. And just like that, the girls went in, playing on all of Kez’s fears and desires to try and pull her over to their side.
Emmett meanwhile started to worry that something was up, so pulled Kez aside to play into all of her fears of ruining the Brawn majority. Though given Kez gave zero fucks about taking out Cara since she isn’t actually Brawn, she shared that she would rather go to rocks than let Cara survive.
At tribal council George spoke about intra-tribal divisions as opposed to the fact there are alliances. Rachel obviously called bullshit before Emmett smugly spoke about not breaking when the girls came to him to make a deal. This infuriated the girls with Laura and Rach going in on his arrogance, calling him out for hating on George and Cara but solely sticking with them for the numbers. This irked the hell out of Emmett, who assured George and Cara that he never talked shit about them and wanted to go to the merge strong with them. Which Cara and George ate up.
Rachel spoke about the frustration of putting it all on the line to win despite being on the bottom, with Emmett telling her that if she really tried to win they wouldn’t be back here. Which is both smug and infuriating. Cara started to feel bad, telling Rachel that if maybe they approached someone else, like her, they would have had a different outcome. Laura pointed out that they went to the people who they actually thought would be open to something with them, while Kez said that she was always willing to jump the fence should it be beneficial for her. She spoke about being playdough and while Jonathan suggested Laura try and mould her, Laura calmly pointed out that she is not willing to tell a woman what to do with her autonomy.
Given that very pointed dig, Emmett started to panic, reiterating how important it is for them to stick together if they want to make it to the merge together. But Rach and co continued to be iconic, pointing out that Emmett is controlling things and to paraphrase them, is dominating decisions as the dominant, white heterosexual male. Again, to paraphrase. With that, the tribe voted, Queen Kez stood firm and poor Georgia found herself booted from the game mere moments after making her triumphant medical return.
While I was heartbroken to see my fellow Queenslander Georgia walk into Loser Lodge, I was thrilled that she was able to see out the game rather than medevaced. Despite being joyously reunited and catching up, things got super awks between us when she asked where her Georgia Cheeseburgers were and well, I didn’t bother to make her any. Instead, we downed a couple of Georgia Ray Juleps, which thankfully washed away the post-boot pain and the awkwardness.
Despite being well-known as someone who would suck the alcohol out of a deodorant, that doesn’t factor in when I say that this little baby is a pure delight. Sweet and fruity with a punch of mint, this is a refreshing way to bring a little life back to your soul.
Enjoy!
Georgia Ray Julep Serves: 1.
Ingredients 90ml cognac 20ml peach liqueur 1 tsp sugar syrup a dash or two of bitters 8 mint leaves
Method Place all the ingredients in a cocktail shaker and give a quick shake.
Pour into an old fashioned glass filled with crushed ice.
Previously on Survivor South Africa, twenty brand spanking new castaways were dropped off on the tip of South Africa, with everyone on the Vuna tribe quickly falling in love with Anesu and wanting to align with her. Which, same. While I fell in love with Chappies, for bravely showing us his Chappie. Over at Zamba, Dino put a target on his back after snatching an individual immunity necklace during the marooning challenge, and Shaun and Qieän put one on theirs for looking for an idol. But it turns out none of them were the actual target, as zaddy Jason worked too hard to try and save Shaun from getting booted and as such, found himself booted from the game.
The next day Shaun pulled Renier and Anela aside to apologise for his desperate performance at tribal council, though thanked them for ultimately saving him. Oh and reminded them that Dino is only looking out for Dino. Remember when he went for immunity rather than supplies?! Renier went for a walk and caught up with Amy, sharing with us that they have a very secret alliance going on and they plan to ride it for as long as possible without people catching on to how close they actually are. And just like that, Renier is my favourite.
Over at Vuna Paul outed himself as a Bear Grylls type, with everyone rallying around and praising him for keeping them protected and covered under the shelter. Then out of nowhere Pinty and Carla kinda started fighting, with Carla surmising that Pinty just doesn’t like her and nooooo, I love both of them and this makes me sad.
My love Nico returned for this week’s reward challenge where the tribes would each race out to a cube over water, climb over and inside to retrieve puzzle pieces. And then you know, race back and then use the pieces to solve the puzzle, with the victor getting an epic fishing kit. Paul continued his dominance and got out to an early lead for Vuna while Amy held Zamba up. Side note, Chappies looked like a babe as he climbed the cube in his boxer briefs. In any event, Santoni held them up big time but somehow both tribes managed to be neck and neck on the puzzle. Apparently it was harder than it looked as each tribe tapped out puzzle solvers multiple times, before Zamba slowly started to pull ahead and ultimately snatched victory.
Back at Vuna the tribe was disappointed to have lost, though Chappies reminded them it was bound to happen before Carla suggested it would be good to be humbled at a reward challenge, rather than immunity so they shouldn’t let it get them down. Chappies, Paul, Pinty and Anesu caught up, with Chappies sharing the information about his diplomatic immunity from the previous episode. But that wasn’t the main focus, since we learnt that Anesu doesn’t know whether she can trust Paul and wondered why he was included in the discussion in the first place.
Meanwhile Zambia were all smiles as the tribe celebrated their success, praising Dino for dominating the puzzle component. Though it did make everyone wary about letting him get too far given the number of puzzle challenges towards the end game. Which he realised. Quickly.
Back at Vuna Chappies and Paul caught up, with the former zaddy suggesting they pull in Santoni, given it is very likely that she will be sent to Immunity Island should they lose immunity and as such, keeping her for themselves to give them knowledge. Back at camp, Tyson was trying to run his numbers and was appearing to trust everyone but Mike, which was a feeling shared by Queen Pinty. Anesu meanwhile was catching up with Wardah by the well, locking in their trust with each other and Tyson. They agreed that Santoni is the most likely person going to Immunity Island and as such, she isn’t going to be an option to vote out should it come to it and as such, they need to keep their options open.
Like us, Carla realised it was too early to scramble but did it anyway, chatting with Kiran about how they can protect their ally Mike. And to do that, identified Queen Pinty as the easiest to turn the entire tribe on. Pinty then started a fight with Carla back at camp and ugh, I feel like this isn’t going to end well for one of them. Loving the drama however is Santoni, given it means the target is off her back. For now.
Nico returned for the Immunity Challenge where the tribes raced through an obstacle course carrying heavy bags full of sandbags and coconuts. At the end, they use the sandbags to knock over a table of blocks and once clean, they need to rebuild the logo. Vuna got out to a massive lead as Amy struggled with the see-saw obstacle for Zamba. Then Anela happened, decimating the blocks for Zamba and closing the gap, with Qieän and Dino making the most of his handiwork and throwing the puzzle together quickly, snatching Immunity out from under Vuna.
As predicted, my dearest Santoni was sent to Immunity Island where she was challenged to swing a loop on a rope and try and snag it on a hook for the chance for a clue to a hidden immunity idol. Which she quickly won, learning that the idol is hidden in a log behind the seats at tribal council. Aka this is a great day for my new Queen, Santoni.
Back at Vuna the rest of the tribe were struggling with the weather and relocated to a nearby cave for the night in the hope of staying dry long enough to make it to tribal council.
The next day the camp looked absolutely disheveled as the tribe all huddled together for warmth. But being Survivor, they quickly split up with Tyson and Kiran debating the merits between voting Mike and Pinty. Mike and Carla approached Anesu to float getting rid of Pinty, with Anesu quickly highlighting the duos in the tribe but conveniently keeping herself out of things. She gauged whether they would have enough votes to get rid of Pinty, cautioning them that Mike is likely the target if they don’t manage to flip it.
Anesu and Kiran caught up, with Kiran happy to get rid of Pinty as she is so abrasive with him. She then iconically approached them and made Kiran uncomfortable as she interrogated him, before asking to speak to Anesu alone. Locking Kiran in as a Pinty vote, no doubt. Pinty suggested that getting rid of Mike would mean Carla would be alone and need friends, and would no doubt align with them, unaware that Carla is leading the charge against her.
Back on Immunity Island, Santoni was making the most of her private time, hunting for an idol or clue freely. Which once again, she quickly found, directing her to search back at camp and dig three paces from a scoop or something. And now, Santoni needs to win because she is a damn icon.
Back at Vuna, Anesu caught up with Wardah to talk about the dueling plans admitting that she really doesn’t care which route they go, but if Pinty is abrasive, they will always find a time to get rid of her. Pinty approached Tyson and when it didn’t seem to be going anywhere, she decided to share with him that Chappies won the diplomatic advantage at the fire challenge and as such, now Tyson sees him as a threat. Pinty then went to Chappies and didn’t say anything but convinced him that he can’t trust Mike, unaware he really shouldn’t trust Pinty.
At tribal council Santoni quickly cased the joint for the hidden immunity idol while Wardah spoke about people starting to get irritated by everyone’s little ticks. Carla admitted they might learn they have a black sheep after the vote before Tyson admitted that the mood back at camp was definitely nervous and anxious. Anesu said that being relaxed about the vote generally means you’re out of the loop and as such, they all should be nervous. Santoni then announced that her immunity comes at a price and as such, she doesn’t have a vote.
Chappies spoke about the need to build relationships to make it further, with Pinty agreeing her odds should be ok if she has the relationships she thinks she does. Anesu shared her choice was all about tribe harmony, while Mike was focusing on trusting those that he feels he should and Kiran agreed that he just wants unity. WIth that the tribe voted and my dear Queen Pinty was sadly blindsided from the game.
I was heartbroken that my girl Pints didn’t get a full chance to shine and pulled her in for a hug, which she quickly pushed me out of. Given she is a strong, independent woman and doesn’t want me patronising her with pity. As such, she sat down and we got to reconnecting over a Pintky or seven.
Sometimes the simplest drinks are the tasiests, aromatic, punchy and sweet – this baby is the perfect way to drink away the post-boot blues.
Enjoy!
Pintky Serves: 4.
Ingredients ice 1 egg white 200ml grenadine 200ml gin
Method Fill a large cocktail shaker with ice. Top with ingredients and shake like a mo-fo.
Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under the queens found themselves creating and marketing their very own yeasty spreads. Which really exemplifies why people don’t understand the attraction of any and all of the -mites. I mean, who even says, mmm, yeast! That being said Elektra somehow managed to make hers seem appealing, as she slayed the game and proved her doubters – aka Scarlet – wrong. At the other end of the pack, Ru expected more from Maxi while Etcetera went too far but wasn’t funny enough. As such, Elektra earnt her first victory while Maxi and Etcetera battled to survive with the iconic Etcetera going home.
Backstage the queens honoured the delight that is Etcetera, with Maxi admitting that she knew she had to pull out every damn trick she had if she wanted to compete with the whippersnapper. Scarlet was shocked to land high, while Karen from Finance was frustrated that beyond week one, she has been flatlining through the competition. Art tried to perk her up and say that she has a name to live up to, while some of the others don’t have a reputation that the judges are holding them against. Oh and speaking of no name – allegedly – Elektra was feeling her oats and agreed that she far and away had the best commercial. Which led to Art pointing out that they all packed what the packed, so the rest of the competition is going to be what it is. Elektra kikied with Kita and willed a double elimination to get rid of some more Aussies. Oh and she’d love one of them to be Scarlet.
But wouldn’t we all.
The next day the queens were feeling far more friendly, talking about their general horniness and how they’d love a Mini Challenge featuring 100 pit crew members pulling down their pants. Which, same. After briefly trying to set up the revirginized Art and Kita as a lovely drag power couple, they were interrupted by Aunt or Auntie Donna and I don’t actually know who they are, but work. More importantly, Ru arrived and proved Karen is part psychic, wheeling out ten gorgeous men with the queens needing to guess what animal the men are packing in their pouches. In any event, I want all ten of them and my basement is no longer just flooded, there is a tsunami and I’m sorry to all the things that will suffer water damage for the rest of their lives.
I’m not sure if anyone could actually be bothered counting, but Maxi took out victory.
And she didn’t just win a gift card, she also got to pair the queens with their makeover partners from the New Zealand Falcons aka the gay rubgy team of abbsolute zaddies. Again, all six can do whatever they want to me. Maxi first paired Karen with someone that looked pretty similar to her, which she also did for Elektra, Art, Kita and herself, leaving Scarlet with the biggest uphill battle. Though they could pass as a mother and daughter, I guess?
Kita quickly got to work charming her partner, while Scarlet’s partner was adorably excited to try drag for the first time. Karen’s partner had dabbled with his mum’s shoes, Art’s had worn lippy and Maxi quickly realised she had actually picked the biggest battle for herself, despite their resemblance. And oh God, please don’t let it be that storyline where the one that chooses the pairs goes home. Oh and Elektra and her newest family member need to start dating and open an Only Fans – see, I’m cool – because I love them. We then had a montage and while only Elektra’s zaddy could rock a heel, I think this proves rugby players are near perfection. Which, at this point, is all we should care about. Oh and we then learnt that Kita and Scarlet’s partners are dating and damn, why don’t they do an Only Fans while I’m suggesting businesses.
I guess I should talk about the challenge rather than my erotic fan-fiction, so Scarlet and Art were shady about queens not making outfits for their new family members. Though Scarlet felt Art’s custom outfit wasn’t very custom, so was including her in the shade.
Elimination Day rolled around, with Elektra’s daughter worried about having to share the limelight before Maxi finally got confirmation that she would be shaving off her sister’s beard and damn, when it went they’ve got the family resemblance on lock. Elektra and her daughter were bonding over their lives, with him sharing how as a Pacific Islander man he has been taught to try and present as straight and as such, this is so liberating for him to participate and firmly embrace all the colours of the rainbow. Swoon. Meanwhile Art was not sure that Kita was doing enough to take out a win, despite the fact Kita knows that she needs to step out and prove herself. And thankfully, her daughter is ready to take out the win for her.
Karen had half done her sister’s make-up when she realised that Art is only focusing on herself, rather than getting her sister prepped. Scarlet meanwhile was trying to learn her partner’s bone structure, while Elektra was finishing up and teaching her sister as she went. While Art continued to wait for her sister’s eyebrows to dry. Apparently.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys were riding solo for the mainstage runway presentation, with Kita and Feta Mean looking like a Cruella black and white delight as Feta lived her best life. Elektra Shock and ReRe Action were space-age stunning, Maxi Shield and Cilla Wet were dressed as jellyfish and well, it wasn’t great. Art and Craft Simone rocked Priscilla chic and were totally gorgeous, Scarlet and Sapphire were slutty, sexy showgirls but tragically didn’t do the wagon wheel watusi. Karen was joined by Debbie from reception and it was damn glorious.
Kita and Feta received universal praise for their makeover and the fact they gave all of the personality. Elektra meanwhile was read for filth by Michelle, but loved by Rhys. Maxi was praised for bringing the fun, though read for literally everything else. Art was read for the lack of family resemblance, despite them both looking absolutely stunning. Scarlet was praised for being cute, despite her clearly focusing on herself, rather than her sister. Though she got lucky by how damn charming Sapphire is. And despite them all hating the thick glasses, Karen and her sister were praised for the look while Ru wasn’t sure about how much of a transformation Karen produced.
Backstage the queens and their daughter/sisters/I can’t keep it consistent untucked, with Karen leading a toast to all the iconic rugby players. Art and her sister continued to be funny and charming, before Scarlet spun things around to who would be in the top and bottom. Everyone agreed Kita would be in the top, while Karen assumed she would be there with her and the rest would be in the bottom. Since Elektra was read for make-up, Maxi was read for lacking detail, Scarlet was read for being basic – lol – and Art for not bringing family resemblance.
Back on the runway, as if it were in any doubt, Kita took out her first, very well-earned victory of the competition, while Art and Karen were sent to safety. The bottom three nervously awaited their fates, before Scarlet’s track-record couldn’t even save her as she was forced to battle it out against Maxi, as Elektra was sent to safety. The. Gag.
Anyway, from the moment Kylie’s Better the Devil You Know started, Scarlet kicked straight into dancing diva mode, as Maxi stuck with her hilarious and charming approach. While Maxi lived her best life, Scarlet proceeded to strip and sell sex, which sadly proved to be enough as Maxi was robbed on her way out the door. Much to my bitter rage and disappointment.
I pulled Maxi as close to me as her breast plate would allow and hissed into her ear how wrong her elimination was and that she deserved to stay. But being the absolute delight, she had a quick chuckle, told me to calm my farm and get to work chatting. After I bequeath her a Maxi Shiely Temple, that is.
Maxi and I grew up in the ‘80s pubs, living our best lives on a cheeky pink lemonade and climbing trees set over tables while no adults supervised. It was a wonderful time to be Australian. Now that we’re adults, we like to add a bit of vodka to the mix but that doesn’t change the fact that these spiked Shirley Temples aren’t nostalgic AF.
Enjoy!
Maxi Shiely Temple Serves: 1.
Ingredients ice 1 tbsp grenadine 1-2 shots of vodka lemonade, to top maraschino cherries, to garnish
Method Fill the glass with ice. Top with grenadine, vodka and lemonade.
Stir. Add a maraschino cherry or two. And down. Like the damn icon herself.
Previously on Survivor the Edge-rs were given their final chance to earn Fire Tokens, with Natalie finding another advantage – well, disadvantage – which she sold to Nick. Back at camp, we learnt it was a disadvantage at the upcoming immunity, which he and Michele promptly played on Ben. Mainly to fuck with his head. And boy did it work, as he lamented that everyone clearly hated him. I don’t know whether it was that, or the fact that she was sick of being on the bottom, but it powered Michele to victory in the immunity challenge. And while it seemed like an easy Denise vote or a Ben blindside, Tony and Sarah stayed in control and got rid of Nick and his nipples instead.
The next day we checked in with Edge of Extinction where the tribe were overjoyed to finally be leaving, given the final returning challenge was upon them. Amber was shocked that she had spent a month there and questioned whether she may actually miss it, given it is a beautiful location and forced her to slow down and reflect on her life. Tyson found the note directing them to pack up the camp and head out to the challenge, with Rob thrilled that the idol he purchased before the last challenge would still be in play should he win the next challenge. Kim was ready to fight, while Wendell was keen to buy an advantage.
Speaking of which, they received the menu and all quietly disappeared to figure out what they would be purchasing. Yul opted for a challenge advantage, as did Queen Parvati while Ethan tragically couldn’t afford anything. Meanwhile the Jeff Bezos of Extinction, Natalie, shared that she has 14 damn tokens, allowing her to buy peanut butter and three advantages, while she still had the idol she purchased ahead of the last challenge. Oh and then she used her excess cash to buy an idol for Tyson just in case. They then hugged and wished each other luck and hot damn, we were robbed of them being on a tribe together.
The first iteration of the final five were brought out to see the epic return challenge before the Edge of Extinction inhabitants were wheeled out, led by its rich Queen, Natalie. Probst then explained that for the chance to return, they would each be attached to a rope, race over a fence and pole obstacle, dig up a rope and build a rope bridge, before untying balls and using them to complete a table maze. Nat, Parv, Yul and Wendell could each skip the fence, while Natalie’s wealth bought the extra advantages to skip the dig portion and to have her rope bridge already half built.
Yul, Parv and Wendell got out to an early lead while poor Natalie struggled on the pole section of the puzzle, giving the trio the chance to overtake and make her second advantage moot. Eventually she made it off the pole and caught up to Wendell, though continued to struggle as she made it to the bridge. Ultimately Wendell was first to the puzzle with Natalie, Rob, Yul, Jeremy and Parvati nipping at his heels. Wendell landed his first ball, with Natalie next, followed by Tyson who appeared at the puzzle without warning. The trio were neck and neck until Wendell dropped the second ball at the last moment, giving Natalie the chance to land hers and send her back into the game after following Nadiya’s lead and becoming the first boot.
Everyone was thrilled for Natalie, however the remaining losers were well and truly gutted to not make it back. Kim spoke about how hard her second game was and how she learnt that not winning and playing the perfect game was almost even better than her first experience. Tyson spoke about his decade of craziness thanks to the game and how it prepared him for having kids, given his weird talents are perfect for that. And then we got to Amber and hot damn, it was heartbreaking – through tears, she spoke about how the only reason she came back was to be Rob’s rock and spoke about how she never felt like the winner of All Stars and knows people hate her. Rob then spoke in a high pitch, through tears about how beautiful and strong his wife is and damn, it is beautiful. Parvati spoke about how hard it was to come back as the mother of a newborn and broke down about how much more difficult this season was, though how proud of herself she is.
Oh and then we got to Ethan and I mean, this is more gut wrenching than a family visit. Ethan spoke about how his first season led to him starting a charity which funded the drug that saved his life when he had cancer and oh my god, I am sobbing. Jeff spoke about the strength of winners and thanked them for the season, sending them back out to Ponderosa to freshman up ahead of the next tribal council.
We returned to camp where Tony was busy reminding himself to not be suckered in by the emotion of farewelling some of the icons of the game and instead use it as the drive to fight tooth and nail to get to the end. Meanwhile Natalie was shocked to make it back after 33 days and return to the same camp she left on day two. That being said, she knew she had to focus given that the other five are tight and she needs to find a crack and find it quick. With that she sat everyone down and told them all that everyone on the Edge is rooting for Tony, knowing that he is pulling the strings and dictating what happens. While it was a lie, and Tony knew it, he also knew it was something that could easily sway people. Tony and Sarah caught up, incorrectly assuming that Natalie has no advantages in her pocket and vowed to stick together to get rid of her ASAP before Sarah went on an epic rant about how she has been fighting just as hard as Tony – which is true – and should he win, he has her to thank for it.
My only fear is that doubt is going to make her lose focus on the task at hand. Begging the question, do I now love Sarah?
Jeffrey returned for the second final six immunity challenge which honestly was a behemoth. The tribe would have to race through a series of obstacles to collect puzzle pieces, running up a huge stairwell and dropping off the pieces before going down a slide and doing it again until they had all the pieces. Then they would have to solve a three tier puzzle and hot damn, didn’t Winchele win this is her OG season? Tony and Ben got out to a slight lead, with Sarah and Natalie nipping at their heels. Though I kind of think it has more to do with the obstacle, given Michele and Denise clearly started on the hardest. Ben maintained his lead, while Michele was well and truly last as Denise fought her way back into the challenge. Ultimately Ben secured his pieces first, followed by Tony and Natalie while Denise and Sarah tried to stay in it. And Michele? I jinxed her.
Wait, maybe not, as everyone struggled to crack the first layer of the puzzle, allowing Michele to catch up. And catch up she did, building her first tier before anyone else. Natalie was the second to crack it, making it a two horse race between my two Jersey icons. Sarah joined the fray just as Michele solved the second tier as everyone changed their tactic to cheating, which was pointless as she powered on to win the challenge for the second time. Fly kicking it for a second time, to boot. The girl is a bloody icon and I don’t care who knows it.
Back at camp Tony was nervous about Natalie’s potential ownership of an idol, while Ben spoke about being well and truly over rice. Tony tried to get everyone to remain calm and chill while Natalie joked that she needs to stay busy looking for an idol and disappeared, leaving Tony and Ben to catch up. Tony tried to focus on a plan assuming that Natalie did have an idol, so suggested they split the vote on her and Denise. Which Ben didn’t want to do, given he is very close to her. Everyone reconvened at camp, with Natalie offering to chat to anyone that is interested with Michele openly saying that she would be happy to. The iconic duo then wandered to the beach, with Natalie immediately sharing the fact she has an idol and as such, they deduced that targeting Tony and Ben would be a bad idea, given they would both play theirs if she did.
Michele then played double agent and returned to camp, telling them that Natalie is being paranoid making her think she doesn’t have an idol. And as such, she would be voting for Natalie. Tony meanwhile grew anxious, not wanting to needlessly waste an idol and grew frustrated by the fact that people weren’t interested in voting out Denise. He pulled Sarah aside to suggest that they turn on Denise instead, to guarantee that they are in control and don’t have to burn the idols. Though Sarah wasn’t really interested, given she was sure that Natalie didn’t have an idol since they grew tight in their short time together – poor naive Sarah – and as such, he just needs to calm down.
At tribal council Ben spoke about how big of a threat Natalie and her Edge relationships are to everyone’s endgames, while Michele said that the information she provides is important and everyone has hit everyone differently. Ben continued to lowkey rage about her return, while Sarah spoke about being grateful for Natalie giving her information she wouldn’t otherwise have had until the end. Natalie spoke about the fact that everyone believes Tony is playing the best game, whether it is true or not, before Sarah spoke about the horrible gender bias in Survivor and how she and Tony playing the same game makes him a hero but her a bitch. She spoke about the guilt she felt after Game Changers, reminding her fellow women that they are able to play the game however they want and need to be proud of it. Tony agreed that women shouldn’t experience that prejudice while Ben tried to get in on the action, praising them as our mothers and sisters. Even Probst owned his part in it, apologising for comments he may have made and even the fact that he rarely calls women by their surname. To which Sarah sweetly replied that he can start calling her Lacina.
After our learning moment, Natalie spoke about how there is a tight four in the game, with Michele on the bottom and her, well, left right out. Tony denied it, saying that she is creating cracks, rather than finding them. Tony doubled down saying that the information Natalie was getting was warped by the perspective of somebody that was just scorned, while Natalie simply said that she told the women they were handing Tony $2 million and as such, need to change things up. With that, the tribe voted, Natalie played her idol to a round of ‘told you so’s’ before Tony stood up and played his as well, followed by Ben, leaving only Sarah and Denise vulnerable. The first four votes piled up on Natalie, followed by two on Ben, leaving the final six to vote again; only for Denise or Sarah. And if there is another tie, the women needed to battle it out in a firemaking challenge. Which was information we did not need, as everyone joined together to send Denise from the game.
As the Queen Slayer arrived in Ponderosa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated on playing a stellar game. And I told her that while I was proud of the move she pulled off with Sandra, as the latter’s biggest fan, it is taking all my strength to not cuss her out as well. Being a therapist, she was able to help me work through my feelings and I was able to love her once again. And even toast her becoming the Queen Slayer with a punchy Spiced Rumise & Stappley Juice.
We’re getting to the pointy end of the season, so obviously, we needed to have a celebratory drink. And given this one is both super easy and so very tasty, there was no better way to mark the season.
Enjoy!
Spiced Rumise & Stappley Juice Serves: 1.
Ingredients ice 60ml spiced rum splash of bitters 1 cup cloudy apple juice wedge of lime, to garnish
Method This is a pour and stir cocktail, so it is pretty easy.
Fill a short glass with ice, top with the rum and bitters, fill with apple juice, squeeze the wedge of lime and add to the cup. Stir, down and repeat. Though be warned, it is a double shot.
I’d recovered from the emotions that seeing Quentin brought up about my beloved Luke’s passing, and then Lydia – who I’m trying super hard not to call Lydiot – had to get her petty revenge on Shane and make her the first boot.
So thankfully I had already locked in a date with my dear friend Natalie Portman for the second, grand day of this year’s Oscar Gold celebration, Gold Basketball.
I arrived on her doorstep with red, puffy eyes and tried to put on a happy face, like a less murdery version of Joaquin Phoenix in Joker.
Nat being Nat saw right through my valiant efforts to get my emotions together, pulled me in for a hug and reminded me that whatever was bothering me, it would all be ok.
She then followed it by putting on her Jackie O voice and told me there would never be another Camelot. Another Camelot. And all was right in my world.
I haven’t seen Nat since we filmed cameos in Avengers: Endgame, so it was to catch-up away from the warm, embracing pecs of Chris Hemsworth, who I really must catch soon. While she couldn’t confirm that Taika was willing to cast me – “you should talk to him, he loves you” – she was thrilled to run the Best Actor and Actress odds with me.
While Joaquin is the obvious frontrunner, Nat was hoping for an Adam Driver surprise for Marriage Story and I, passionately and vehemently will argue that Antonio Banderas’ stunning, reserved turn in Pain and Glory is what should take the gold. For Best Actress we had no such hopes for a surprise, fully aware that Renée Zellweger should and will win for her sublime turn in Judy. Getting justice for my dearest Judy Garland’s status as a non-winner.
With that out of the way, she gave me another big hug, bid me adieu and toasted our friendship with a round of Natalie Portman Flip.
I know I have probs complained about eggs in cocktails, but Nat loves them and I love her, so I suffer this baby down and focus on the fact it is safer to drink this than the alcohol out of my deodorant. I mean, brandy is nice. How is that for selling it?
Enjoy!
Natalie Portman Flip Serves: 1.
Ingredients 30ml brandy 60ml ruby port ½ tsp simple syrup 1 egg nutmeg, zested, to taste
Method Place everything but the nutmeg in a cocktail shaker and shake with all the rage pent up from dealing with the Susans in your office for a minute or so.
Strain into an old fashioned glass. Grate over nutmeg. And down, immediately.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens were tasked with coming up with their own brand of bottle water before filming commercials for then. The Vivienne ounces back with a messy housewife, while blu was filthy and Cheryl started strong but quickly faltered. Viv won, before Cheryl destroyed Blu and sent her from the competition.
Backstage the girls were heartbroken to lose Blu, none more so than Cheryl who had to kill her bestie to stay in the competition. Talk quickly turned to who would be the new shady queen with Chez suggesting to Baga that they could just leave it to The Viv and Divina to continue to fight it out. Viv and Baga asked Cheryl how she felt to perform in front of her idol, with her talking about how amazing it was for her. But Chez being Chez, she couldn’t let a nice moment linger and instead opted to point out that she didn’t think Blu should have even been lip syncing. Obviously that turned things on Baga as the queens asked why she wasn’t prepared for the lip sync, with Baga assuring them that while she didn’t have two lines down, trust and believe you would have got the performance of a lifetime from her if she had to.
The next day the top four jubilantly returned to celebrate how far they’ve made it before Baga welcomed The Vivienne into the triple badge club. Despite being the only one without a win, Cheryl was still on cloud nine from the girl group challenge and Cheryl Cole’s appearance. Oh and Baga talked about how painful it was for her to bottom for the first time. This was interrupted by Ru who arrived to host a mini-challenge bitchfest. With puppets. Because everyone loves puppets. Baga was first to pick her puppet, snatching The Vivienne from the gloryhole. Divina snatched Cheryl, The Viv got Divina and Cheryl was left with Baga.
After dragging up their puppets – of course The Viv gave Divina a red wig and an almost-silver dress – Baga did an uncanny impersonation of The Vivienne, in the shadiest way possible. Cheryl roasted Baga for being unprepared for her lip syncs and delivering sub-par runways. Divina was as mean as she could muster, thought rightly mocked Chez’s subpar track record while The Vivienne read Divina’s bad wigs and chalky make-up. And obviously her laugh. Ultimately Divina took out victory, which Chez claimed as her own given she needed to take whatever she could get.
With that out of the way, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the girls would be making over women in their families. Namely Baga’s mother Josie, Divina’s sister Carys, The Vivienne’s mum Cassie and Cheryl’s sister Gina. Who is already as iconic as her brother. While Cheryl was just glad it wasn’t their mother. Ru explained that they would need to transform their relatives into sickening drag queens, with strong family resemblance.
The queens quickly got to catching up with their loved ones with Divina explaining that she has struggled to get out of her head throughout the competition before her sister gave her an update on her pregnancy. Cheryl’s sister was obviously ready and willing to do whatever is needed to finally give Cheryl a win. Though given she was keen to go with bodysuits, despite Michelle’s preferences, she may be in trouble. The Vivienne told her mother that she can’t bring her down and better had shaved her minge and well, I love it. Particularly how cute her reaction was as she tried not to kill him. Rounding things out, Baga was nervous about going from Baga Chipz to Baga Shite and well, it just doesn’t fill me with much hope.
Ru arrived for a kiki, dropping by Divina and her sister first. She was thrilled to find out Carys is pregnant before talk turned to the angel inspired looks they’d be rocking. We learnt that the duo are two of seventh and I live for Carys because my parents too, opted to stop at perfection. But all Divina could focus on is the fact Ru asked if she was worried about anything? Meanwhile at the Chipz Family table we learnt baga was obsessed with Drag from childhood. Oh and that baga hasn’t painted anyone else’s face before, while her mum was nervous about letting Baga down. Though Ru told her she can’t embrace baga more than she did herself, so to relax.
Meanwhile over at Chez’s table, they were giving Ru the full Hole as we learnt she was the one that taught Cheryl how to beat her mug. Oh and both of them are super confident given their resemblance, though Ru was quick to point out she really does need a win given she is the only one without one. Finally, he dropped by The Vivienne’s table where we learnt Viv too was a childhood drag fanatic before her mum spoke about how despite what their family may think, they love Viv and damn, that is more touching than it sounds.
Meanwhile Baga was trying to give her mum a bit of a peptalk to help bring her confidence out and well, let’s just say, Baga, you’re in danger. Divina and her sister started practising their walk before Cheryl and her sister got up to show them up. The Vivienne and Baga pulled their mums aside to assure them that choreogprahy isn’t what matters and that all they need to do is guarantee that they all look like members of their drag families.
Chez continued to bring the comedy, pointing out her sister pretty much looks like a drag queen so it should be a piece of cake for them. Sadly, that acted like a non-Monsoon jinx as a zipper broke while trying on their outfits, leading to them resorting to their second choice.
The Viv and her mum decided to imitate Ru and dropped by Divina and her sister to find out what they’re doing, with Divina pointing out she is going with the red wig but is going off brand and swapped sequins for gems. Viv showed off their black outfits before Divina pointed out that Vivienne and Baga’s confidence is shaken as they’re terrified for their mothers. Cheryl too was growing nervous, catching up with Baga and her mum to talk about their looks. Zipgate came up, with Cheryl admitting that the longer it goes on the more anxious she gets. It led to a beautiful moment with Baga reminding her that she is the ultimate underdog and has always excelled and as such, needs to focus on that.
Is it too late to request a four-way crowning?
Elimination Day arrived and well let’s just say, Chez was still stressed about the challenge and didn’t want her sister to feel guilty. While Baga too was focussed on making sure her mother knows that any failures are his. Everyone got to work getting ready with Cheryl mocking Divina’s make-up skills, while The Viv and Baga gave their mother’s tape facelifts and had wholesome discussions about how their confidence grows in drag. The Vivienne noticed that Baga and her mum aren’t as close as he and his, so tried to help them bond and again – adorable.
On the mainstage Cheryl and her sister Sissy Hole were gloriously showgirls and proved that bodysuits can often be great, Michelle. The Vivienne and The Mother were glamorous in a rich old lady version of Dr Evil and Mini Me given the height difference. Divina and her sister Delisha looked glorious serving sexy twin mamas in white, bead gowns while Baga Chipz and Sacka Spuds rocked the runway with confidence but sadly, Baga really can’t do make-up on someone else. I mean, neither can I, but I don’t need to.
The judges lived for the Hole family, despite Sissy acting like Posh when the Spiceys were dancing. Oh and obviously, Michelle hated the spangled bodysuits but loved everything else. And the family resemblance. The Vivienne was praised for really bringing the family resemblance and clearly making her mum feel like a million dollars given how much fun she was having on stage. Divina and her sister were praised for killing literally everything, with the judges admitting it was hard to tell which one was the contestant and which was the family member. Oh and they lived for the pregnancy jokes. And then came Baga. Oh no, poor, Baga – the looks were read for being rough around the edges and having no similarities. While that was fine, Baga then started being ageist and blaming her build and well, I just wanted to hug poor Josie.
Backstage Cheryl served up the drinks to toast to their family members with The Vivienne praising her mum for doing so much for others and being all around delightful. Divina thanked her sister for her fearless performance, with everyone excited for her to show her little drag baby in the future. Cheryl was grateful that her sister served all the choreography and being amazing, while Baga’s mum loved that she couldn’t see anyone and as such was confident. The Vivienne told Baga to apologise to her mum and she tried to but ended up making Josie cry instead, with Divina stepping in and praising her for performing and giving her all and reminded her that it is Baga’s fault if she lands in the bottom.
Ultimately Divina joined the triple win club while The Vivienne saved herself as Cheryl and Baga were forced to fight it out in the lip sync. And fight they did. Though given it was to Tears Dry on Their Own by Amy Winehouse, I’m sure you can guess who this number favoured. While Cheryl turned it out swishing the hips and selling her personality, Baga was in her element, leaning into the disappointment of landing in the bottom to give the performance a moody edge which was enough to give her the win. But more importantly, they both worked together and you could tell how proud of each other they were which was the true win.
Oh Chez, bless her heart, despite being one of the best makeovers she knew that her passion for bottoming would be hard to overcome and as such, took her elimination in her charming stride. Now, as you could probably guess, I’ve been a dear friend of Cheryl’s for years and actually originated the role of Nicole in her Girls Aloud tribute band. While a deportation issue led to my expulsion from the group, Cheryl still kept in contact with me and we became the best of pen pals. And as such, I knew our signature writing Cheryl Hole in One would be the perfect way to toast her success.
Let’s be honest, alcohol is always the answer to dull the pain in my eyes – let my therapist make of that what they want – but when it tastes this good, surely they’ll make an exemption. Robust, tangy and gloriously refreshing, it is the perfect palate cleanser heading into the finale.
Enjoy!
Cheryl Hole in One Serves: 1.
Ingredients 2 shots Scotch whiskey 1 shot dry vermouth ¼ tsp lemon juice a few drops of bitters ice, to taste
Method Place everything in a cocktail shaker and do as the song says, and shake it like a polaroid picture.
Previously on Australian Survivor 12 celebs were once again pitted against 12 plebs, with the Contenders coming out of the gate strong forcing the Champions to get rid of the least famous of the bunch in the form of Anastasia. After a fail at the second challenge the first Contender was sent out of the game in the form of pocket rocket Laura. The Champions lost Susie, Nova, Steven and E.T. back to back before Jonathan took pity on them and switched the tribes. Despite a mega-majority on the new Champions tribe, Luke and David took control and sent Sam, Sarah and Hannah back-to-back before the Contender decimation continued with Casey and Matt booted from the new Contender tribe. My heart King Ross was then tragically felled by a faulty challenge, medevaced just before the merge which saw Andy, thankfully, become the final juror.
The merge led to the annihilation of all immunity threats with Shaun and David going back to back. They were then joined with Zaddy John, Daisy, Simon, Janine, Abbey and Luke, leaving Baden, Harry and Pia to battle out for final immunity with challenge beast Baden taking it out after 6 hours and 40 minutes. Under the cover of darkness they made their way to tribal council where Pia pulled some voodoo mind tricks and convinced Baden to boot Harry from the game.
The final two awoke on day 50 and congratulated each other for making it all the way to the end. Pia was shocked to have made it to the end and was hopeful to plead her case, snatch the win, pay off her mortgage and set her family up for life. The final two then arrived at treemail to discover a feast which they took back to camp to gossip about everything they’ve gone through during the game. Baden too was proud of everything he achieved during the game, most of all the fact that he pushed himself socially. He then explained that he knew that Harry had tried to drag him to the end, ultimately explaining why he chose to keep Pia in the end.
With that the final two arrived at final tribal council with Baden kicking things off, telling the jury about how Survivor helped him grow and overcome his fears and that he knew his only hope of surviving was to play the middle perfectly, befriend everyone and know exactly where all the votes were going each tribal. He knew that both Pia and Harry planned to take him to the end should they win the final three immunity challenge, so his best shot at earning their love was to win immunity and take himself.
Pia then took the floor and pointed out that she planned to come in hard strategically while being friends with everyone. She then pointed out that since day one, she was fighting to survive, getting Nova to flip the vote at the first tribal council and then flipped Abbey and Ross to take control of the tribe. She then dominated the game, kept a couple of meatshields around, which ultimately protected her when her alliance were turned on.
Shaun kicked things off by asking them why the other doesn’t deserve to win, with pia pointing out that while Baden won the game of most personal growth, he didn’t do anything throughout the game and as such can’t claim to be a strategist. Baden tried to counter that Pia rode an alliance and nothing else and has been blindsided before JaQueen jumped in to back her up and told everyone that Pia was aware they were flipping on Janine and wasn’t confused. David then saltily asked them how their goat game was advantageous which led to ultimately the greatest speech since Kristie’s as Pia schooled Dave and pointed out all the times she took control, schooled him about the difference between Australian and US Survivor. Baden then tired to jump in and point out he helped groups make decisions and said that Pia was his goat, allowing Pia to dispute his claims and honestly school him too. I mean, she pointed out that he tried to vote her out instead of Abbey which kinda proves she wasn’t his number one goat.
David jumped in to save Baden and asked whether he felt he played a good social game, with him proudly talking about successfully playing the middle – which is really hard, so props to him – and keeping everyone from turning on him. JaQueen jumped in to congratulate Pia on a game well played and asked her to articulate how she was the wolf in goat’s clothing and how she helped take herself, JaQueen and Abbey so far. Pia articulated how well she managed to keep people calm and make sure nobody saw their blindside coming, which David jumped in to admit is the exact reason he didn’t play his idol.
Harry tried to get people talking about cars with Baden saying that he actively navigated throughout the game, was never blindsided and ultimately was able to choose who he was up against. Pia reminded everyone that having an alliance and making decisions in them is something to be proud of and they shouldn’t downplay how she managed to keep hers together without becoming the target. Zaddy John asked how the game changed them, with Baden saying that it has helped him grow and he used being an introvert to his advantage, was never a threat and powered through.
Luke wrapped things up pointing out that he helped save Pia twice, and then asked him why she couldn’t do it that one time. This allowed Pia to talk about fighting hard in the final immunity challenge because she didn’t want voting him out to be futile. She then listed off how hard she has played, reminding them that just because you didn’t see her big game didn’t mean she wasn’t playing one, just that she wasn’t stupid enough to let people see it and paint the target on her back.
With that the jury voted, Jonathan brough the votes back and surprised them that they would be read with their families in attendance, wheeling out Pia’s kids and instantly making Abbey sob. Baden’s mum spoke about how proud of him she is and how much he has grown throughout the game, developing into an adorable little sass monster. Pia’s husband was proud of her and only reaffirmed everything he thinks about her (making Abbey cry) … and hoped that the jury voted the right way.
Jonathan then started reading the votes and they rolled in, one by one for Pia handing her the first unanimous victory of Australian Survivor. While poor Baden stood by with his family. Despite not earning the love of the jury, I firmly believe that Baden played a strong game as playing the middle is truly a difficult strategy – hi Julia – and he used everyone’s perception of him to avoid the target that may come from it. With that, I gave him two hearty thumbs up and toasted to his game with a Baden Sherbert Cocktail.
While it may look like an innocent little bevvie, like Baden, this sure packs a punch. A little sweet, a little tangy and carrying a nice burn as it goes down, it will have you feeling as spritely as Baden on the monkey bars. Or after standing on those stumps for nearly seven hours.
Enjoy!
Baden Sherbert Cocktail Serves: 2.
Ingredients 2 shots gin 2 shots Cointreau 1 orange, juiced 1 lime, juiced ice a twist of lime or orange
Method Combine everything but the twist of citrus in a cocktail shaker and give a hearty shake.
Pour into two glasses.
Garnish.
Down.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us onInstagram,Facebook,Twitter,PinterestandTumblr.
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