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Latrice Royale

Latriced Voroyale

Baking, Breakfast, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the queens were tasked with making over their best Judys, in honour of Queen Judy Garland. It is hard to make jokes about the pure joy on the queens’ faces as they were reunited with their besties, so I will just focus on the fact that Manila’s husband was completely feeling his oats and Latrice’s Judy seemed unimpressed by her long-gestating drag debut. Monet rudeemed her horror season 10 makeover and once again Naomi slayed the challenge, snatching victory and handing Naomi her first win of the season. Sadly for the best Drag Race Judys, Latrila landed in the bottom and Naomi took advantage of the opportunity and cut Manila from the competition.

Back in the Werk Room the queens were gagged, gooped and living for the frontrunner going home, however Naomi was quick to explain that she was threat and she wanted to eliminate her. End of story. Plus – Latrice saved her the week before. Trinity however was shocked and disappointed, given Manila has slayed the competition and this is the first sign that no one else is actually playing fair and as the new frontrunner, she should be concerned. Talk turned to the fact that Latrice didn’t seem phased by Manila going home, despite the fact Manila sobbed during her first elimination. While she didn’t say it exactly, she admitted that she is happy to be there. Which is not a bad thing to say, no? Particular when in a her or me sitch. Monet then proudly admitted that she too had Manila’s lipstick out of revenge for her picking her lipstick when Latrice was first eliminated.

And her pettiness is how I function on a daily basis, and I love seeing it reflected back at me on screen.

The top five returned the next day, proud to have made it as far as they have with Monique particularly proud – and likely gooped –  that the Hall of Fame is one step closer to having some melanin. Before they could learn more about Trinity’s experience being the only white queen, Ru arrived to announce that this week’s challenge would see the queens starring in a Ru Hollywood Story on the fictional making of Sex and the City 3. After snatching victory Naomi was given the job of assigning roles and surprisingly took the other girls advice after challenging herself by taking the role of SJP. Monique requested K Jo – one episode guest star Kristen Johnson – before Trinity and Monet literally scissor, paper, rocked over the role of Kim with the former winning out, leaving Monet to take Kristen. Oh and Latrice must have requested Cynthia, or gave zero fucks. Despite getting lemons, Monet vowed to slay the challenge. And given how Latrice and Naomi went in rehearsal, that should be easy. Except Monique is literally twitching out as a recently awoken coma patient, I don’t see anyone topping that.

The queens joined Ross to film the shequel – and promote The Standard which is amazing, so I’ll let it slide – with Latrice and Naomi continuing to flounder, reminding Trinity of Club 96. Speaking of Trinity, she too struggled – much to the delight of Monet – before Monique arrived and revived the scene. Despite losing her wig, she was the perfect balance of absurd and wacky.

Elimination Day rolled around with Naomi nervous about her risk backfiring, and Monet feeling confident about her performance despite being flat. Talk turned to Trinity’s performance as Kim, with Monet arguing she would have slayed the role and Trinity kinda sucked. Before that could escalate however, Latrice spoke about being worried about who she would have to send home which is a gag. Trinity vowed to be fair while Latrice felt that the winner needs to be a good representative of Drag Race. Oh and Monique is looking to be gagged and gooped by Trinity going home.

On the Kitty Cat Couture runway Trinity served African cat gang bang realness, Monet channeled the Pink Panther – which I slay on the piani, FYI – Latrice served arts and craft Lion gown realness that Party City wouldn’t dare to stock. Naomi played with the theme channeling a cat lady drowning in yarn, while Monique owned with the sexiest Puss in Boots I’ve seen since Antonio Banderas did Original Sin and Adam Garcia was in Bootmen. Well buss, but you get what I mean. We then had to sit through the acting challenge which followed in the tradition of My Best Squirrelfriends Yada Yada Yada and Breastworld, completely sucking outside of one person. This person being my dear friend Monique, who literally dropped into the scene and immediately stole the show. Well except for the brief moment of Woke Charlotte courtesy of Monet.

Trinity’s runway look received universal praise, as did her role in the acting challenge. Monet’s look was read for being more mouse than cat, while Felicity Huffman defended her performance in the scene by pretty much saying you can’t polish and turd. So I assume is voting for me to lend a script for season 11? Latrice’s look wasn’t read enough given how ugly it was, while was praised for being the most in the scene. Everyone loved Naomi’s take on the runway theme, however her performance in the scene was universally panned. However Ru did congratulate her for challenging herself. Finally, FINALLY, the judges were gagged and gooped by everything Monique did and she was praised for owning the entire episode. And seeing her face made me happy that she finally got redemption for not winning the episode she wore the card dress. Not that I’m bitter. With that Monique and Trinity obviously snatched the win, sending Monet, Naomi and Latrice to the bottom.

Backstage Monique was thrilled to finally get the recognition she deserves, while Latrice was disappointed that she is in the bottom despite performing well. Completely ignoring how ugly her dress in. Trinity and Monet caught up, with the former praising Monet for having a strong report card. Naomi told Trinity she felt that Latrice should go because she hasn’t been performing well, conveniently focusing on report card when it matters to her. Monet joined Monique to plead her case, with Monique acting shifty making Monet nervous. Trinity told Latrice that both Monet and Naomi said that she should be eliminated, firing her up and saying that Naomi has also been performing poorly and should go home. Latrice then confronted the queens who stood by the fact she should go home, which was insanely effective in defusing the situation. Trinity and Monique then joined together to discuss who should go, praising Latrice’s legacy though differing on Naomi’s performance.

The queens de-pussed for the lip sync to Janet Jackson’s When I Think of You and given we saw next to nothing from Monique who owned the entire episode, it was quite clear that Trinity would win. She then doubled down on focusing on report cards and sent Latrice from the competition again, despite being an absolute bloody legend.

While Latrice was obviously disappointed to be out of the competition, again, it was easier to handle closer to the end and after having some of the winning moments she deserved to have. Particularly after being robbed of victory in episode one, no tea no shade. In any event, we laughed, we cried and toasted a job well done with a heart batch of Latriced Voroyale.

 

 

This copycat of the Australian classic I found online – or at least I assume it is just an Australian treat – brings back fond memories of childhood birthday parties. Where I would usually avoid them in favour of BBQ chips, despite BBQ chips being the worst. Thankfully this homemade version is far better than the OG, packed full of butter and fresh jam, the flavour packs more of a punch and fills you with joy.

So en-joy!

 

 

Latriced Voroyale
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
90g butter, chopped, at room temperature
½ cup raw caster sugar
1 egg
1 ⅓ cup plain flour
2 ½ tsp baking powder
100g pink marshmallows
¼ cup icing sugar, sifted
½ cup desiccated coconut
⅓ cup raspberry jam, warmed

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Cream 60 grams of butter and the raw caster sugar in a stand mixer until light and fluffy. Still mixing, beat in the egg until just combined. Add the flour and baking powder and beat until just combined. Shape into a disc, wrap in cling and transfer to the fridge for 15 minutes.

Roll the dough out until 4mm and cut into 24 4x5cm rectangles using a fluted pastry wheel. Place on a lined baking sheet and transfer to the oven for ten minutes or so, or until lightly golden. Allow to cool for 15 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

To ice, combine the remaining butter with the marshmallows in a small saucepan and cook over low heat until smooth. Fold through the icing sugar and remove from the heat. Spread the coconut on a plate. Working fast, spread icing along both sides, leaving a one centimetre strip down the middle. Dip the biscuits in coconut to adhere to the icing. Repeat until done before filling the barren gap with jam.

Leave to set for an hour or so to set, before devouring.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

February 10, 2019February 15, 2019 Benjamin Woodley Judd Tagged Afternoon Tea, America, American, Baking, Baking Powder, Butter, Desiccated Coconut, Dessert, Drag, Drag Race, Egg, Fifth Place, Flour, Iced Vovo, Icing Sugar, Latrice Royale, Latriced Voroyale, Logo, Marshmallows, Pink Marshmallows, Plain Flour, Raspberry Jam, Raw Caster Sugar, Reality TV, RuPaul, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 4, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Seventh Boot, Sweet, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, VH1 6 Comments

Latrikir Royale

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 4, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars Snatch Game rolled around with a spin, seeing the queens split into two to vie for the love of Gus Kenworthy and Keiynan Lonsdale – and TBH, who doesn’t want to be split in two by those two. While Manila and Trinity clearly shined, Valentina struggled and Latrice got distracted by the too much unprofessionalism of Gia, who once again choked on the challenge and landed in the bottom next to Valentina. Trinity was thrilled to finally get rid of Gia and her mind games, however Manila admitted that getting rid of a threat in Valentina may be the smartest move going forward. Not so smart was the fact she told both Trinity and Valentina before sending Gia home, painting a big ol’ target on her back.

Back in the Werk Room with Monique thrilled to be free of Gia and hot damn, how did I just realise there was a cow on her hat? Manila praised Gia for who she is and how well she performs, though admitted that her pot-stirring was too much to handle. As the girls continued to kiki Manila congratulated Trinity on truly dominating Snatch Game, though was thrilled that on Wikipedia she is listed as the winner and she has the $10k to back it up. Trinity shared that she too would have sent home Gia, as she planned to play a fair game and Valentina was stronger than Gia. With no one around to stir the pot, Valentina and Gia told the other queens that Manila had floated the idea of getting rid of Val … though obviously sold it as being thankful that Manila decided to play fair.

The next day the queens arrived to learn that this week’s challenge would send them all the way to Jersey for Michelle to dish out a little bit of justice in a Judge Judy and RHONJ hybrid. The queens split into teams, with Latrice, Monét and Monique joining to argue the case ‘how ‘bout them cakes,’ Naomi and Manila snagged ‘you made me look like a bitch, bitch,’ while Valentina and Trinity paired up for what will no doubt be the case of the century, ‘I was snookered by Snooki.’

Monét was feeling hella confident, given her passion for Judge Judy while Monique was concerned about how to balance three performances in the challenge. Monique was arguing that her wedding was ruined by Latrice the baker and her daughter played by Monét. And Latrice was struggling to jump in during rehearsal, so it looks like it will be a disaster. Meanwhile Naomi was so excited to be working with Manila as she is a massive, and they really seemed to be vibing. Trinity on the other hand was super concerned about Valentina and her attempted accents, which ranged from the deep south to god knows where. Though she can do voices, so relax guys!

First up were Manila and Naomi, with Manila sueing Naomi for making her look like a bitch at her high school reunion. Literally, since Naomi ran a dog grooming business and Manila got confused. Given Naomi is covered in the same shade of tan that Donald Trump wears and pulled out a Teresa Giudice joke and Manila literally barked her way through getting kicked out of the room, I obviously approve of this pairing. Monique, Latrice and Monét were up next, with Monique owning from the start, while Latrice served only looks and then bombed when she started talking. Poor Monét didn’t arrive until half-way through and while she pulled out some good jokes, she then started to get lost and it fell flat. They did finish with an epic Jerry Springer style bitch-fight though followed by a make-out, and I love that. Trinity opened her improv by forgetting her name, though slowly improved throughout. Particularly once Valentina rolled in late looking a hot mess and gave Trinity a killer character to play off.

Elimination day rolled around and Naomi threw some glorious shade at Asia while Monét was feeling her oats and looked forward to lip syncing for some cash. Manila too was feeling confident, though her confidence wasn’t misplaced. Unlike poor Latrice’s. Adding to the feelings of confidence, Trinity and Valentina congratulated each other on their killer performances. Maybe starting to question her performance, Latrice approached Trinity to call her out for forgetting her name at the start. Not taking it, Trinity called her out for having zero jokes with Valentina jumping in to agree that she didn’t perform very well. They both assured her that no one would send her home though – Valentina admitting she would rather send Trinity home – so to relax and focus on her runway.

Speaking of runway, the queens were padded for the gods with a swerves and curves runway with Manila slaying and serving pink old-lady quilt, Naomi was gorgeous as a failed housewife, Trinity served wave pool in the water-park realness, Valentina did a half-baked, half-baked drag look, Monique was over the top cow, Latrice shimmered down the runway and Monét owned channelling Kim K’s Paper shoot.

The judges loved everything Manila did from the challenge to the runway. Naomi was praised for her burnt-bake housewife look and serving full Jersey girl realness, though they wish she gave them more. They loved Trinity’s outfit, though they felt she held back during the challenge which she admitted she did to avoid overshadowing Valentina. The judges weren’t sold on Valentina’s runway, though they enjoyed her performance in the challenge and the fact she let go. Monique’s cow look received universal praise, as did her over the top performance in court. The judges thought Latrice looked beautiful on the runway, while felt Latrice didn’t give enough in the challenge. Everyone loved Monét’s look on the runway, though felt she didn’t have enough character in the challenge. With that Monique and Manila took out victory while Latrice and Monét found themselves in the bottom two.

Backstage Monique was thrilled to win, though upset that she has to send one of her teammates home. Poor Latrila both started to cry, with Latrice heartbroken that it could all be coming to an end. Trinity was disappointed that while Latrice has a good career, she felt that that shouldn’t save her when she hasn’t been performing well. Monét was scared gien how universally beloved Latrice is and doesn’t want to face off against her. Scared of losing focus, Valentina channelled Milk and complained about getting read despite being safe, before Monique told her to get over it and shut the hell up.

Monique and Monét got together, with Monique admitting that Latrice being in the bottom with her makes the decision difficult. Latrila on the other hand held each other and continued to cry, with Manila vowing to destroy the lip sync to save her friend. Trinity continued to get frustrated by Manila, annoyed by the fact she will keep Latrice no matter how well Monét performed. Monét pulled Manila aside to try and convince her that she needs to stay, though Manila essentially admitted that there is no way she isn’t saving her friend. Meanwhile over with Monique and Latrice, Monique spoke about the OG’s importance to the community and Latrice assured her that she won’t be stumbling again if she keeps her. And then reminded her that she wouldn’t be anywhere else, and that includes wedding planning. Which is nek level guilt.

Monique and Manila looked ready to destroy my frenemy Elton’s The Bitch is Back as performed by Tina Turner – who I really need to see soon – with Elt reminding them not to fuck it up via video. Both queens slayed the lip sync, however Monique gave it a messiness that totally worked for Tina and as such, snatched victory. And kept her wig on to boot! Poor Manila immediately started to cry, concerned about Latrice’s welfare. Which turned out being prophetic, as Monique sent the iconic Latrice out of the game.

While Latrice wasn’t thrilled to find herself out of the competition, she was thrilled to see her dear friend backstage to provide her with some comfort. I did admit that I agreed that being a legend shouldn’t guarantee you continue in the competition, however I followed it up by reminder her that there is likely to be a comeback challenge and that is where she can show them why a legend deserves to be there. We were extremely drunk on Latrikir Royale though, so hopefully she heeds my advice in the morning.

 

 

A kir royale is one of the easiest cocktails you can throw together, but it proves that sometimes the easiest things are also the best. Which is what I had on my dating profiles in my youth. I mean, sparkling topped up with sweet, sweet liqueur? Swoon.

Enjoy!

 

 

Latrikir Royale
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
¼ cup creme de cassis
⅔-1 cup sparkling white wine, chilled

Method
Split the liqueur even amongst the two sparkling glasses.

Top with sparkling.

Down. Lather, rinse and repeat.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

January 6, 2019January 12, 2019 Benjamin Woodley Judd Tagged Alcohol, America, American, Crème de Cassis, Drag, Drag Race, Drink, Fourth Boot, Kir Royale, Latrice Royale, Latrikir Royale, Logo, Reality TV, RuPaul, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 4, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 1, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 4, RuPaul's Drag Race Holi-slay Spectacular, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Sparkling, Sparkling White Wine, Sparkling Wine, TV, TV Recap, VH1 8 Comments

Le(trice) Royale Bacon

Burgers, Main, Party Food, RuPaul's Drag Race, Snack, Street Food

While my dear frenemy Mimi Imfurst wasn’t the most beloved All Stars, I stand by selecting her to kick off our countdown to All Stars 3. If for no other reason than it would make you even more delighted, when I pulled out the delightful global treasure and Queen of the people Latrice ma’fuckin’ Royale.

Without a doubt, Latrice is one of the greatest queens to ever appear on Drag Race and it was heartbreaking – for both of them – that the first All Stars saw her pairing up with Manilla, ultimately tanking both of their chances.

As you could probably guess, I first met Latrice in prison and we became the best of friends. Fun fact: our relationship inspired them to create the characters of Taystee and Poussey on OITNB. Less fun fact: I faked my death to escape by being crushed by a guard, which also inspired Poussey’s tragic, cruel demise.

Given we’ve been close for many, many years, Latrice was thrilled to drop by and spill tea about the cast of All Stars 3, lament about the horrific pairs twist and laugh adorably loud. While she agreed that Milk is a biscuit you want to sop right up, she is convinced that this season will belong to Aja in the same way All Stars 2 belonged to Alyssa Edwards.

But damn, let’s hope this is Milk’s workroom outfit and my basement can be perennially flooded.

I won’t beat around the bush – because, well, I’m off to beat around my bush – anymore and tell you to get to the kitchen and whip up a batch of my Le(trice) Royale Bacon.

 

 

While I’ve already done a shameless copycat of the Quarter Pounder, my Pulp Fiction loving heart knew that I couldn’t go with just the Latrice Royale … so thankfully the French have a suit of Royale variants. And obviously, the one that adds bacon is the best. Particularly if you don’t remove the second layer of cheese.

I mean, how do you go wrong with bacon? The answer is, you can’t. Enjoy!

 

 

Le(trice) Royale Bacon
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
salt and pepper
8 rashers streaky bacon
4 Kirsten Bunst, halved
ketchup
mustard
½ an onion, diced and placed in iced water for five minutes, and drained
2 dill pickles, sliced
8 slices high melt cheese

Method
Squeeze as much liquid out of the mince as possible before placing it in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch to combine with your hands, and divide into four equal patties. Place on a plate lined in cling, cover and place in the fridge for about half an hour.

While the patties are on ice, prep everything else in the burgers.

Once you’re good to go, place a large griddle over medium heat and toast the open halves of the buns for a minute, or until golden. After the buns are done, add the bacon and cook for a couple of minutes each side before transferring to some kitchen towel. The griddle should be scorching by this point, so lightly brush some oil over the pan and add the patties, flattening down with a spatula. Cook for a few minutes, flip, and cook for a further couple of minutes.

To assemble, spread ketchup and mustard – to taste – on the top half of the bun, add onions and sliced pickled. On the bottom, place a slice of cheese, the patty, bacon and the second slice of cheese. Bring the buns together and devour, using the last bite to sop up any goodness that drops out.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

January 7, 2018January 7, 2018 Benjamin Woodley Judd Tagged Actor, American, Bacon, Beef, Buns, Burger, Burgers, Cheese, Dairy, Drag, Drag Queen, Drag Race, Fashion Rocks, Ketchup, Kirsten Bunst, Latrice Royale, Logo, Main, Mister Act, Mustard, My Baby's Daddies, Onion, Party Food, Pepper, Pickles, Quarter Pounder, Reality, Reality TV, RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 4, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 1, RuPaul's Drag U, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Salt, Singer, Snack, South Beach On Heels, Street Food, TV, VH1, Weight 17 Comments
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