Triple Pork, Corndra Cheeaz-Twine

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Sophie was feeling her oats as the cockroach of the season, despite the fact she only miraculously dodged the boot twice in a row due to a twist and Alex quitting rather than skill or gameplay. Identifying Khanh as a big threat, she realised aligning with him could be mutually beneficial and approached him about aligning. Which he sadly had zero interest in. With Sophie gone from the tribe, the alphas were outnumbered on Blood, though after losing the immunity challenge miraculously were able to make some new friends. After Amy found an idol, she was ready to make a strike on Sandra and take control, however the Queen had already sadly scooped them up as they banded together to boot Amy’s bestie Jay.

The next day things were very zen over at the Water tribe as Nina shared how well positioned she was in the tribe and how she was excelling at the game. While I would have loved to hear more from Nina, I was just as distracted as the cameraperson was when her ally Jordie started to repeatedly flash his bum. And just like that, I was back to stanning our overall king. Despite the excitement and the joy of hearing how well Nina is playing, I couldn’t help but become filled with dread as she opened up about being confident in her chances of making it to the end.

The two tribes reconvened with Jonathan where Sam spoke about how united their tribe was, which perfectly cued up JLP to tell them to drop their buffs. Yep, it’s tribe swap time! Given there were 19 people remaining, Sandra, Amy, Dave and Jordan were joined by Shay, Nina, Jordie, Josh and Mel on Blood, while Khanh, Chrissy, KJ and Sophie welcomed Sam, Michelle, Croc, Ben and Jesse on Water, leaving poor Mark tribeless. Well, for a moment, as he was given the right to choose which tribe to join, ultimately selecting to join Blood. Much to the absolute rage of his wife Sam, who was SO ready to play with him. Not wanting to play with their loved one however was Nina, who was heartbroken to be on a tribe with her mother given she now has a huge target on her back. And once again, dread.

Before we could enjoy any drama, Jonathan explained that to take out the reward four people at a time from each tribe would battle in a boat tug-o-war competition to capture a flag, with the first new tribe to three scoring a reward of hot dogs and soda, so you know I would have died to win if I was out there. First up Ben, Croc, Chrissy and Sophie faced off against Mark, Jordan, Mel and Sandra, with the new Water tribe quickly scoring the first point. Josh, Mark, David and Jordie methodically then worked together to tie things up over Croc, Khanh, Jesse and Ben. Sandra, Mel, Shay and Nina worked hard on the third round though were eventually overpowered by Sophie, Sam, KJ and Michelle who scored the second point. Oh and then Ben, Sophie, Croc and Chrissy blitzed through the next round, jagging reward for their tribe. And most importantly, we got to see Ben cheering in his speedo, so everyone is truly a winner.

Back at camp the new Water tribe were delighted to find their hot dog cart, quickly getting to work smashing their snacks and soft drinks. While Sam was thrilled they proved themselves as a new tribe, Chrissy was just thrilled to finally have Croc by her side before talk turned to the fact that Mark was given a choice to join the tribe with Sam and instead opted to keep themselves separated a little longer. Which Sam admitted was a strong strategic decision, despite it hurting. After Croc spoke about feeling bad for those that couldn’t reunite with their pair, Sam and Sophie went for a walk to clear the air and while Sophie promised there were no hard feelings, Sam was very sure that she couldn’t be trusted.

Chrissy interrupted the calm celebrations when she noticed a clue hidden in the side of the cart, quickly rushing to it to snatch it without anyone noticing as she shoved it up her pants. Successfully managing to keep it there, unlike Sharn. Well, until she and Croc awkwardly hugged and she handed it off to him. Back at camp, they went for a walk together where they read their clue and upon Chrissy figuring out where their idol would be, darted off to the river to jag it without anyone noticing. With Croc planning to keep it secret, given that is the advice Sandra gave him and ugh, I now love Croc.

We finally checked in on the new Blood tribe where Jordie was thrilled by how the swap played out for him, keeping him with all of his closest allies and in the majority on the new tribe. And well, to say he was confident is an understatement. Jordie immediately identified Sandra as the biggest threat and vowed to get rid of her ASAP. Essentially. Mark opened up about deciding to stay away from Sam, knowing it was the safest option for them, despite it not being what he truly wanted. As everyone washed off in the water and formed quick bonds, poor Sandra was left alone with Dave back at camp and attempted to try and start over with him, given it is her only option. While she was hopeful Nina’s strong bonds and likability would be able to help her out, she was still very nervous.

Speaking of Nina, she was thrilled to still be on a tribe with all of her allies but sadly – though wisely for her – she approached them to assure them that should they want to vote out her mum, she will be ok with it. While she quietly wondered to us whether she could really bring herself to break her mum’s trust, she also felt it would be hard to cross her allies too.

The tribes reconvened for the immunity challenge where Jonathan explained they would chop through a rope to release a net, climb said net to cross a tower, collect some boxes on balance beams, climb up another tower where they would drop the boxes over the side in an attempt to release a ball. And then use said ball to solve a table maze. Josh got Blood out to the earliest of leads, though they were quickly overtaken by Water who whipped up the nets. After Michelle fell on the balance beams, Blood managed to pull ahead again. Well until they struggled to smash their boxes, giving Water a huge lead while solving their table maze. Sadly, they couldn’t get it together as Nina started to talk her tribe through the puzzle. Though not quickly enough, as Water narrowly took out immunity.

And left Sandra to contend with her Day 16 curse. Much to my mildly simmering rage.

Back at camp Nina quickly apologised for choking while calling the challenge while the rest of the tribe tried to rally and raise her up. Sandra meanwhile stressed about having to go to tribal council on Day 16, though she was hopeful Nina’s connections may be able to keep around for another few days and break said curse. Not wanting to rest on her laurels though, Sandra caught up with Mark and pointed out she has issues with Dave should they be looking for a target, while Dave, Jordie and the cousins hung out to lock in the vote for Mel. Nina went for a walk with Shay and Josh with them filling Nina in on the plan to get rid of Mel, given she is clumsy and may be a liability in future challenges. Which was music to Nina’s, and importantly my ears. 

Sandra meanwhile was back in the water with Jordan, Dave and Amy, with them shocked by the fact Water are willing to get rid of one of their own despite being in the minority. Sadly it was at that moment that Jordie decided they really should have some fun with the vote and instead take out one of the weaker OG Blood women in the form of Sandra, and then at a whisper, Amy.

Jordie, Josh and Mark giddily locked in the vote for Sandra given she is not only weaker and from the rival tribe but most importantly, a massive threat. While Jordie and Josh wanted to give Nina a heads up, Mark assured them it was too dangerous given she could get Shay to play her idol to save her mother and ruin not only their plans but their alliance. Speaking of which, Nina, Sandra and Shay were catching up and well, this better end with an idol play otherwise I’ll be heartbroken. While the trio felt the vote was still going Mel’s way, Sandra worried about what would happen after that given there is nowhere else for her to hide. Even though she isn’t even hiding anymore.

Mark, Jordie and Josh caught up with the other former OG Blood members and Mel to float the Sandra plan and tragically everyone seemed thrilled to jump on board. Thankfully though Nina could tell that Mark and Mel were acting weird with her and as such, felt like something was up. While Jordie caught up with Sandra and assured him the plan was still on Mel, desperate to claim the scalp of Sandra in a blindside.

At tribal council Sandra spoke about being happy with the new tribe, reiterating how proud she is to still be in the game. Mel opened up about being nervous about the upcoming vote, while Mark tried to downplay the fact the original Water tribe hold the majority in this new tribe. Which Jordie reiterated, though far less eloquently. Shay mentioned that she would be voting on strength, given she is desperate for some food and to get another win. This got Sandra fired up, announcing that is not how Survivor works or how it is played, given one person is not a deciding factor in losing a challenge. Sandra then doubled down and pointed out that alliances are more important because come merge, the weak will outnumber the strong and once the strong people start losing immunity, they are immediately booted. Unless they have allies willing to protect them.

This speech spooked Shay, given she thought she knew what would be playing out while Jordie spoke about every season being a clean slate and kinda pretending like Sandra isn’t a damn icon that could wash each and every one of them any day of the week. And well, he better moon us tomorrow if he gets his way tonight because I am growing tired. Nina admitted she is nervous about the upcoming vote, with Jordie pretty much saying he isn’t looking forward to facing a loved one back at camp which narrows down the boot to one of four people, but really only Sandra. Speaking of the Queen, she admitted that she is definitely expecting to receive a couple of votes at tribal council, though continued to speak strongly, reiterating that being a pair is strong and as such, made Josh and Jordan nervous about potentially being the only pair left in the tribe.

Jonathan then asked Nina whether she felt being a pair was important and when Sandra tried to look her in the eye, she told her to look at Jonathan instead as her eyes welled up. This well and truly got Sandra nervous as she spoke about knowing what she signed up for, though she still looked gutted. Before reminding us that the queen stays queen.

With that the tribe voted and tragically, there were no miracles as Shay played her idol for herself – not sure why, though – and Queen Sandra was unanimously booted from the tribe. Once again swap-screwed on Day 16. Which is why I threw the most epic tantrum Charters Towers had ever seen when I got word that Sandra’s curse had completed its hat trick before she claimed her triple crown. 

My tantrum wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t nice and it wasn’t cute, though I would argue it was completely justified.

Sandra is a complete and utter icon and if her new tribes would only stop losing the first challenge after a swap, she should be a lock for the merge after enough time to endear herself with her new people. Instead, we’re left with the brutal tragedy that one again, Sandra is not on a jury at the worst but more ideally addressing one.

While I was heartbroken by her placement on paper, her run on Australian Survivor has only managed to cement her status as the best to ever play the game. Her strategy is simple and logical, but one that not many people could pull off season after season with her finesse.

As soon as I saw her enter the Pre-Jury Villa – no Loser Lodge for MY queen – I immediately started sobbing and ran into her arms. While she wasn’t receptive to my ideas for her to disown Nina and adopt me in her place, or to find Jonathan and production and force them to re-shoot tribal council, or even add a new version of Redemption Rock where Sandra is automatically given the win; she was grateful for my enduring love and support and glad that I was once again by her side on Day 16 to eat our feelings, this time with a Triple Pork, Corndra Cheeaz-Twine. A meal I had tragically thought would manifest the third win, rather than enacting her curse for a third time.

Now I can not take ownership of this recipe – that is Jock Zonfrillo, with some minor tweaks for my preferences – I knew Sandra’s return from retirement needed to be marked with something decadent and regal, worthy of her legacy. This very baconny, very cheesy number is near perfection – smokey and umami, sweet and salty, it is the only glorious meal worthy of someone as glorious as the Survivor GOAT.

Enjoy!

Triple Pork, Corndra Cheeaz-Twine
Jock Zonfrillo’s original recipe
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
50g thinly sliced smoked pancetta
25g smoked salt
25g dark muscovado sugar
10g ground black pepper, to season
10g hot smoked paprika
10g ground star anise
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1.2kg pork belly
1 cup cloudy apple juice
150g sourdough, blitzed to form crumbs
230g sharp aged smoked cheddar, coarsely grated
¼ cup parsley, finely chopped
120g unsalted butter, diced
60g flour
2 ½ cups milk
130g blue cheese, diced
130g Fontina, coarsely grated
130g Talleggio, coarsely grated
salt and white pepper, to taste
400g smoked bacon lardons
1 bunch shallots, thinly sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
5 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
3 x 400g cans sweetcorn, drained
¼ cup sour cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C.

Start by working on your bacon rub by placing the pancetta on a lined baking sheet and cooking in the oven for fifteen minutes, or until crisp. Transfer to a paper towel to remove grease and allow it to cool. Once chill, combine the pancetta with the smoked salt, muscovado sugar, black pepper, paprika and star anise in a food processor or blender and blitz until crumbed.

Next, score the skin of your pork belly and rub it with oil followed by all but 2 tbsp of the bacon rub, getting it on the meat and skin until it is gorgeously marooned. Pop the pork belly on a rack in a baking dish, skin side up, and pour the apple juice into the dish. Transfer to the oven and cook for 15 minutes, before reducing the heat to 180C and cooking for a further hour. Keeping an eye on the apple juice in the pan and topping up with more, or water, should it run dry. Remove from the oven and leave to rest.

While the pork is getting gorgeously browned, combine the bread crumbs, 100g of the smoked cheddar, parsley and the remaining bacon rub in a bowl until combined.

Next step – FYI, there are a lot of steps and it is what Sandra deserves, so deal – melt half the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat until foamy. Add the flour, whisk and cook for a minute or so. Remove from the heat and slowly whisk in the milk to combine before returning to the heat and bringing to a simmer. Reduce heat to low and cook for a couple of minutes before adding the remaining cheeses and cooking for a further couple of minutes, or until well combined. Season and keep warm.

In another saucepan, melt the remaining butter over medium heat and cook the lardons for five minutes or until starting to caramelise. Add the shallots, garlic and thyme and cook for further five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the corn and stir until warmed through.

When the smells have you more than ready to eat, cut the pork belly into a dice, reserving the crackling for a side or to top. Combine the corn and lardon mixture with the cheese sauce, before folding through the pork belly and sour cream.

Transfer to a baking dish, top with the crumb and pop in the oven to cook for 15 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Serve immediately and devour, eating all your feelings away before the next episode.

And remember, the Queen will always stay Queen. Day 16 curse be damned!


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Pizza Chrustica Underwood

Main, Pizza, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor: Edge of Extinction, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the Kama Kama Kama Kama Chameleon tribe were very anti both of their returnee players, while Kelley seemed to be lugging around the target solo on Manu. I assume because everyone has forgotten that David literally dominated five seasons ago. Chris tried to pull Wardog in for a Wentworth blindside, however the artist I wish would stop calling himself Wardog but a kibosh on the plan and, rightly, swung the vote around on Keith. Who really struggled with any and all things physical, which is super relatable … until her pretends they will suck without him.

We opened back up with Keith’s theatrics trying to decide whether he wanted to join Reem at Extinction. Which he obviously did given he was so cut to be eliminated. While he was heartbroken to be out of the game, Reem was thrilled to finally have any company and quickly accepted his apology for taking him out. There was talk about the lack of food and Reem, the icon, announced that while she was close to raising the flag to get the hell out, she now wants to stay to protect her young. The next day they awoke to discover maps by the flag, guiding them to find stairs on their beach, with zero further information. They scoured the island and finally found them which led to a big pot of rice. Well, the pot was big however the supply of rice was meager. And they would have to scale the mountain each day they wanted food.

Probst decided to arrive early in the ep for this week’s reward challenge where the tribes would have to build wheelbarrows to collect sandbag, then deconstruct said wheelbarrow to build a slingshot to shoot said sandbags at targets with the first to eliminate them all would get either chickens or comfort items. Manu somehow got to an early lead – and I softened to Wardog who is babin’ – however Joe and co managed to close the gap at the first station of sandbags. Kama extended their lead throughout the rest of the challenge until they couldn’t build their slingshot, leaving Manu to take back the lead despite Wendy injuring her ankle. My sweet, sexy Chris made quick work of the targets while Gavin struggled, and try as Julia – I think that’s her name, we haven’t heard from her – might, Chris snatched Manu their first victory and damn I love Chris. Oh and I guess I should mention they selected chickens?

Back at camp we learnt how bad Big Wendy’s injury was as her ankle ballooned and she had to be carried up to the camp. She was worried that this would mean the end of her journey, while everyone rallied around to look after her … by giving her space. They then went to discuss how best to cook up the chicken, which made Wendy upset that people were going to kill them. Thankfully the pain wasn’t enough to stop her from thinking about releasing said chickens, and I love her and will call her Big Wendy just because that’s what she wants. She then asked Rick to help her bust the chickens out and while he isn’t into killing them either, he didn’t want to help bust them out.

Over at Kama the tribe were stinging from their first loss, while Joe and Aubry tried to pep them up and reminded them that while it sucked, it wasn’t immunity and they can fight like hell tomorrow. We then heard from Victoria who spoke about them being on the outs with Aurora, and I feel like the tribe wouldn’t actually mind losing an immunity challenge or three. Victoria and Ron went for a chat by the shore to lock in votes against Joe and Aubry, while Joegel was literally creeping behind them. Which is probably my favourite thing to happen in life, unless I am the Victoria in the situation. To his credit, Joe played it lowkey and pretended they weren’t targeting him to their face before finding Aubry and Aurora to discuss how screwed they are. With that Aubry ran off desperately in search of the idol which has eluded her through her two previous seasons. She dug, she scaled trees – not the highest cliff in Fiji, however – and finally, FINALLY, she found her first idol in three seasons, promptly breaking down into tears and hoping that it is the turn-around that her game needs.

We returned to Manu where Wendy was still trying to convince everyone to release the chickens, despite the fact she eats meat which made her plight less endearing and more irritating. Which made Kelley, Lauren and Wardog irate, who couldn’t understand her logic and since she is injured, Kelley hoped it would be enough to get rid of her ASAP.

My manses Probst returned for this week’s immunity challenge where Wendy’s ankle was strapped and the tribes would have to split in two and drag a boat filled with half the tribe to a tower which the boat dwellers would scale and jump off to grab keys. Which obviously unlocked puzzle pieces because every damn challenge has puzzles to keep it interesting. Chris’ BDE got Manu out to an early lead until the puzzle arrived and David, Kelley and Lauren were destroyed by Aubry, Ron and Julia – who I look forward to meeting – no doubt since Aubry has done this puzzle before in Game Changers. Obviously Kama won once again and while Kelley was worried about Wendy letting the tribe down, it turns out she is the one that blew the challenge. Which Alanis may describe as ironic.

Maybe.

David wasn’t too bothered about the loss when they got back to camp, hopeful that Wendy’s injury would provide the perfect cover for a dastardly Wentworth blindside. Wendy was still nervous that her ankle would be the end of her, so decided it was the right time to steal the flint to avoid people eating the chickens should she be booted. Which is chaotic and iconic, but also stupid. Let’s be thankful that Chris is still looking hot in his jocks and I’m about to pass out, or choke, on the dream plane.

That was too far, wasn’t it?

David and RIck went to see if Wendy was aware where the flint was, which she quickly deflected and David turned into a discussion about getting rid of Wentworth. David then approached Chris – praise, more Chris – to see if he’s be into getting rid of Kelley, which he is however he wants to loop Wardog in. Who literally saved her last week. He then took said intel to Wardog who got extremely nervous and instead of pushing him to stick with getting rid of Wentworth, he decided it would be smarter to get rid of Chris since he trusts Kelley more. He took the new plan to Wentworth, who encouraged him to go to Rick to get rid of Chris instead. And let me just say, while I love Wentworth, if Extinction Island didn’t exist, I would destroy her if I don’t get to see Chris beyond this episode. She is very lucky. Rick took the information to David, who was shocked that Big Wendy somehow became safe and they are stuck between getting rid of Chris or Kelley.

At tribal council Probst rubbed in the fact that they a big batch of losers, before Rick added that they’re now flintless and Big Wendy had zero interest in killing the chicken. Despite trying to pretend she had no interest in blocking them killing the chicken, Wardog called bullshit. Rick spoke about reevaluate their plans, given they tried to focus on strength but it has gotten them nowhere. Kelley spoke about shifting to a loyalty based game, while David acknowledged his interests have turned to taking out threats. This made Kelley nervous, which David pretended was just his awkward behaviour, however Probst zeroed in and asked everyone their opinion and left him nowhere to hide. Rick tried to be positive and spoke about how much more time they’ve had to work on their strategy over Kama while Chris admitting that his eyes have been opened to how tough it is since arriving on the island.

With that, the tribe voted and FUCK. It fucking happened again. I made pizza, and ruined my angel Chris’ game. He should not be here. He wasn’t a target, he looked great in his wet jocks and was one of the few athletic people on the tribe, but he is gone. Because of the damn pizza.

Though who knows, maybe Chris will come back and end – or reverse, even – the pizza curse. Though at this point, let’s just feel guilty for me ruining his game like Liz, Nick, Bianca, Sam, Taylor, Lou, Jack, Michelle, Tara, Roark, Jessica, Gonzalez, Brendan, Steph, Karla, Liam, Jess, Natalia and even Drag Race’s Manila Luzon. Though when you’re still technically in with a shot, Chris could focus on the beauty of Pizza Chrustica Underwood as I watch him sashay over to extinction.

 

 

I feel like I say this about every pizza, on the account of the dough and abundance of cheese, but this baby is so, so good. Crispy discs of potatoes, earthy taleggio and sausage as thick and juicy as, well, you know. How can you not stuff it in your gobs?

And the pizza is pretty good too. *Boom tish* I’m here till, well, who knows. Enjoy!

 

 

Pizza Chrustica Underwood
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
⅓ cup passata
oregano, roughly chopped, to taste
2 potatoes, washed, thinly sliced and baked until crisp
3 pork and fennel sausages, skin removed and cooked
1 small handful basil leaves
150g taleggio, grated
mozzarella, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Smear passata over the prepared bases, sprinkle of the herbs, lightly roasted potatoes, cooked sausage, basil and taleggio before coating generously, with mozzarella. Because you can’t tell me that two cheeses aren’t better than one.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Devour immediately, hoping not to burn our mouth with some scalding cheese before getting Reemed at Extinction.

 

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