Tony Vlachos

Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos

Australian Survivor, Drink, Survivor, Survivor: Australia V The World, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the World tribe desperately hunted for the key to the box they won during the opening challenge, with fate – or the Survivor Gods – shining down on our beloved Parvati. As she jagged it and used it into solidifying an alliance with the women. Sadly, upon opening the box they discovered that the power was knowing that JLP’s podium was home to an idol. And with them all assuming it was the only one on offer, Kass was able to find the camp idol without anyone noticing. At the immunity challenge, George tried to play mind games with the legends before Sarah dropped out of nowhere, due to Lisa being a challenge beast. Back at camp Sarah got jealous of Kirby growing closer with Shonee, so asked Kirby to vote her out as a test of loyalty. Sadly for her Shonee did what she does best, rallying the troops to take revenge on George and despite Janine trying to dump some votes on Shon, our queen sent George from the game.

Back at camp Janine quickly apologised to Shonee for putting votes on her, with her being an icon and not even caring. She spoke about how funny it was that she was able to cut George before he joined the 100 day club, capping his three season run at 99 days. Oh and while she said she wasn’t annoyed about Janine and Luke, she told us that she thought they were stupid for dumping votes on her given they are already the clear minority. But you know, she is feeling like a King now that she has snipped off George, so she won’t even let it get to her. Plus, Luke was so glad George was gone that they clearly now had something in now.

The next day we checked in with the World tribe where Lisa was busy doing laundry with Parvati and ugh, I love to see this for Lisa. And TBH Parvati, proving my ‘you can’t win with the same game twice’ theory wrong, given she is playing Micronesia again and dominating. She told us that the women are working together and will use the tribal council idol to their advantage when they need to. As such, she caught up with Cirie and they agreed that while the boys need to go, she knows Tony is a massive target and as such, she needs him around as a shield specifically. And Tommi is such a sweet, helpful guy, that he is just too likeable to stay. Speaking of the boys, they were busy pledging their undying loyalty to each other, with Tony planning for them to join up with the Aussies after the merge.

As that was happening, the women were joining up to plot their next steps, with Lisa and Kass trying to put the target on Tony as the bigger threat – aka because they are secretly aligned with Tommi – while Parvati clearly tried to keep Tony from being targeted, assuring them he will stick with the majority no matter what, so they are safest with him. The problem was Lisa, however, clearly pointing out that while Tony may be happy to go with the majority, it can’t be the end point of his game. Particularly as a two time winner, so that is not something they cannot trust. Cirie thankfully saw that both Lisa and Parvati being so locked in could lead to a little bit of tension, so reminded everyone they don’t have to worry about it right now and they can come to a decision together when they do need to worry. Splitting everyone up and nipping the tension in the bud.

Back at the Aussie camp Janine was still stressed about begging Luke to throw a couple of votes on Shonee to protect herself. And while it may have painted a target on them, it did lead to her and Luke pledging to go to the end together, so that is something. And the King of the Jungle is always ready to do something wild to get there. Kirby meanwhile was bathing under the watchful eye of Sarah, while the latter grew more and more paranoid that Kirby was angry with her and as such, she knew she needed to diversify her options. Sarah went to talk to Janine, suggesting that maybe now is the time to get rid of Kirby given she is giving off weird vibes. And while she quickly changed her mind to suggesting Shonee, it gave Luke and Janine all the ammunition they needed to make a play for Kirby. 

That night as everyone slept, Janine pulled Kirby aside to let her know what Sarah said and while Kirby had not lost her trust in Sarah before, she sure did after speaking to Janine. And was now ready to take a shot.

The tribes joined up with Jonathan in the jungle where they were gagged to learn that tribal immunity is not up for grabs. Instead each tribe would compete amongst themselves for an individual immunity necklace, as all of them are going to tribal council tonight. As for the challenge, they would each sit and hold a block against a pole with just their legs. Aka something perfect for our pilates queens. Sadly Lisa wasn’t able to compete medically, however, as the rest of the tribemates lined up. Almost instantly Luke started to struggle, while Parvati and Kirby whispered to each other about wanting to work together at the merge. Luke meanwhile sounded like he was taking a massive shit before dropping at just four and a half minutes. As everyone spoke about Shonee lasting over an hour the last time she did a variation of the challenge, Kirby dropped at the fifteen minute mark, leaving Shonee, Sarah and Janine to fight for their necklace. After twenty minutes JLP decided to make things spicy and forced everyone to put their hands behind their heads, which cost Janine and Shonee, handing Sarah immunity.

Let us pause here to remember that Shonee literally had a baby a few months ago and did that. She is both a mother, and mother. That is Queen behaviour.

The entire World tribe was still going at 45 minutes, so JLP made everyone go to a single foot, while the other one just had to hang in space. Which cost Tommi almost instantly. Tony was next to go at 53 minutes followed by Cirie, leaving Parvati and Kass to battle for the final necklace. And after an hour, Parvati suggested they make a little deal, agreeing to drop during the next endurance challenge if Kass drops for her now. Which Kass promptly refused. They continued to battle for over an hour and twenty four minutes, before Kass struggled too much, agreeing to the deal before dropping, handing Parvati the other immunity. Before sending the tribes back to camp, JLP casually dropped that despite both tribe going to tribal council, only one person would be going home. 

We followed the Aussies back to camp where Janine was grateful that nobody was giving off challenge beast out of the Aussies, so the World tribe wouldn’t view them as threats come the merge. Kirby meanwhile was gutted that Sarah was immune, given that voting out her number one was her only plan. That being said, talk turned to what the twist could be with Shonee telling everyone that they had a double tribal council in All Stars where the two voted out would then face off in a fire challenge, with the loser of that going home. Shonee then told Luke that she would be voting for Janine, given she voted for her. And given Luke did not want that, he decided the only logical thing would be to woo Kirby to their side and get rid of Shonee instead. And while Kirby hated the idea, she knew she had to keep her options open. After catching up and locking in the Shonee vote, Kirby caught up with Shonee and agreed that they would both like to take out Janine. Unless they all get to vote as one, in which case they’d love to all take out an international instead.

We checked in with the World tribe where they were all speculating what would be happening, with them speculating that maybe only those who are immune would be voting. Parvati whispered to Tony that if that is the case, he is safe and to just relax. Everyone split up to have conversations assuming it is something else, leaving Tony alone. This made him super paranoid about what could happen, so he tried to stick to everyone like glue so they couldn’t say his name. Parvati and Cirie assured him that Tommi was the target, just as Kass and Lisa were busy trying to protect Tommi and get rid of Tony. Agreeing that while they trust Cirie and want to trust Parvati, they only truly can trust each other. Kass approached Cirie in the hope that she could sway her to their side, and while Cirie admitted to us that she would prefer to keep the Americans safe, she would prefer to keep the women’s alliance together even more. And if it means sacrificing Tony, so be it. Because Cirie was also concerned about how tribal council could actually play out.

Cirie and Tony were busy catching up in the shelter with the latter growing more and more sketchy about the vibes. As such, Tony disappeared to talk to Tommi and let him know that Parvati said that he was the target. And that all the women will tell Tommi that Tony is the target. The two-time winner then realised that Parvati and Cirie clearly know where the key to the locked box is, as everyone had appeared to have just forgotten about it. And as such, he would just pretend he has an idol and cause as much chaos as possible.

The tribes came together at tribal council where Shonee told everyone that she believes each tribe would be voting someone out and that then the duo would face off in a fire challenge to stay. Jonathan didn’t drag it out, however, quickly sharing that it was not what was happening. Instead, each tribe would get to pull rocks to decide who would face off in a fire challenge and the winner of that challenge would win immunity for their tribe while the other would vote someone out. And given Sarah was shitting herself when she drew the white rock, things were not looking good for the Aussies. Even though she was up against Cirie, who famously lost the game after losing the fire challenge in her first season. So maybe all hope wasn’t lost.

Sarah and Cirie took their places at the stations with Sarah sweetly checking if Cirie was in danger before they got started. Both of them got to work, with Tony desperately coaching Cirie while Kirby was looking after things for Sarah. While Shonee looked ready to burst into tears as Sarah struggled, she was ultimately the first to get a spark. And while her methods were unconventional, she managed to get a fire and quickly built around it, filling tribal council with smoke before Cirie eventually got a spark. Sadly for her, however, the swing method didn’t work for her, as Sarah’s fire was furious, licking at the rope and sending the Aussies back to camp.

Side note, if Cirie makes fire in the final four of Survivor 50 and Sarah’s method gets her the win, we all owe Sarah our life.

Once they exited, Cirie spoke about how disappointed she was to have caused their tribe to lose someone. Kass joked about spending too much time strategising, rather than practising fire. While Tony was disappointed to now be voting someone out, he didn’t really get to strategise, while Tommi felt like the immunity challenge was a waste of time. Which Parvati joked she would beg to differ. Tony then got up to start whispering and when everyone told him they didn’t know who they were voting for, Tony tied his shoe around his neck and assured them all that he would be safe no matter what, as would the people he spoke to. The girls then got up to talk things through, with Parvati assuring them that he was just making a big play and there is no reason to worry.

Everyone came back together with Tony asking if Parvati told all the women that she had the key, and while she denied it – and telling him, if she did have it – he eventually admitted he wasn’t told, but he saw her with it. As Parvati and Tony argued back and forth, wishing things didn’t have to be like this. The internationals got up to talk about what to do, agreeing if they all just vote for Tony they would be safe. Cirie joined them, with everyone agreeing to get rid of Tony. However when she sat down, Tommi assured Lisa and Kass that he would be voting for Cirie and if they joined him, they would also be completely fine. Everyone sat back down with Tony and Parvati continuing to fight before agreeing on one thing – that they are both well and truly ready to vote.

And vote they did, before Tony got up to pretend to play an idol, as Cirie whispered to Parvati to go snatch the podium idol if he did play one. Thankfully he didn’t, as the women held firm and the rest of the votes piled up on Tony and sent him from the game. As Parvati lingered back to snatch the idol, as JLP held her torch for her. Like a damn icon.

As Tony arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being so entertaining. And more importantly this season, for becoming mother. Because while all the women this season have got their dues for being mother, Tony has also been mother. While he was a little bit confused about what I was talking about, he could tell it was meant as the ultimately compliment, so took as such. As while I was always rooting for someone else in his previous seasons, this time I truly fell in love with him. And while he was the fourth boot, I would argue he once again cemented his legacy. Because there is no way a two-time winner is ever getting near a final tribal council again. So he had to settle for a famous Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos.

While the world fell in love with this delightful drink thanks to Emma D’arcy, it is easy to understand why she fell for it. A little sweet, a little bitter and oh so refreshing, it is the perfect thing to toast the game of the greatest male Survivor player of all time.

Enjoy!

Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
60ml sweet vermouth
60ml campari
60ml prosecco
orange slice, to serve

Method
Fill an old-fashioned glass with ice.

Top with vermouth and campari, and stir.

Top with prosecco, give a final stir, garnish with an orange slice and down. Repeat as required.


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Minestony Vlachos

Main, Soup, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor twenty iconic winners were marooned on a sandbank in Fiji, ready for the ultimate battle royale. Well, after Adam fanned out and they toasted the season ahead with some champagne. They returned to camp where they learnt all about the new currency, Fire Tokens, which they could earn throughout the season to buy advantages or luxury items. The catch being, once they were voted out, they had to bequeath them to someone else.

Early in the game, those with obvious connections became targets with Natalie following in Nadiya’s footsteps and being voted out first due to being on a tribe with Jeremy. Amber soon followed as the only Blood vs Water couple, before we tragically went on a run of losing the old schoolers starting with Danni, followed by zaddy Ethan, Tyson and Rob. The latter, for trying to implement the Buddy System with competent players.

We then experienced a tragic double tribal council where Parvati and Sandra exited back-to-back. Coincidentally, the pandemic began the very same day. After arriving at the Edge of Extinction, Sandra knew she had no chance of winning her way back into the game, so opted out of suffering just for a stint on the jury. The darkest timeline then continued with Yul joining his fellow old schoolers on the Edge of Extinction. Despite – or because of – being the first boot, Natalie had accumulated quite the fortune on the Edge, so was able to spend up on an advantage and an idol in the returning challenge. Sadly for her, it didn’t pay off as Tyson won his way back into the merge.

Michele finally got revenge on her ex, Wendell, as the tribe banded together to send him out of the game. After trying to play Probst’s tribal council podium as an idol, Adam was shown the door before everyone was thanked for their service to the franchise with an epic full-family reward. And ugh, it was beautiful. Sadly, the game continued, as Tyson, Sophie and Kim were all tragically felled. Things became a little predictable after that, as Jeremy and Nick went out, as Tony and Sarah solidified their control. 

Natalie went on another spending spree ahead of the final return challenge, with it paying off this time and her joining the new final six. After a near Advantageddon 2.0, Denise was sent to the jury as only she and Sarah were eligible to be booted. Ben then kinda quit/gave Sarah permission to boot him for her resume. After Natalie won the final immunity challenge and took Michele with her to the final tribal council, that sacrifice proved pointless as Tony won his way to the end and Sarah became the final juror.

Despite it being an extremely strong final three, it was clear the jury bonded with Natalie on the Edge and loved Tony’s flashy game, so poor Michele was shut out of the vote. While Natalie’s bonds earned her some votes, it wasn’t enough to follow in Chris’ footsteps as the jury crowned Tony the runaway victory. Making him, officially, the King to Sandra’s Queen. And long may they reign. After receiving him 2 million dollars, I thanked him for learning from his Game Changers and coming out to the island and putting on what was arguably a masterclass. He made moves, he was funny and most importantly, he managed to avoid being voted out despite being the only major target left after the merge. And that alone is worth celebrating with a bowl of Minestony Vlachos.

I know minestrone doesn’t exactly feel like a victory meal, but TBH, I thought the target on Tony’s back would be too big for us to have such an iconic victor, so we just have to accept it. Okay? Plus, this is still delicious, which is always a win, right?

Enjoy!

Minestony Vlachos
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
6 rashers streaky bacon, diced
2 carrots, peeled and diced
2 celery sticks, sliced
1 potato, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1L beef stock
400g crushed tomatoes
400g red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup small pasta like shells or macaroni
⅓ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and cook the bacon, carrot, celery and potato, stirring frequently, for 10 minutes, or until starting to caramelise. Add the garlic and cook off for a minute before stirring through the stock, tomatoes and kidney beans. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for half an hour.

Once the veggies are tender, bring the heat back to medium and stir in the pasta and cook until al dente. Stir through the parsley and season to taste, before serving piping hot and devouring. Like the King.


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Battle Royale

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War

Like my dear Phil Collins, I can feel it. Coming in the air tonight. And oh lord, I am excited. It may seem trivial, but 20 former Survivor champions – most, icons of the game – return to find out who is the best of the best. 

While the answer is obviously Sandra, or Parvati, depending on what mood I may be in at the time, they will clash with 18 fellow victors. And my feelings are akin to what I imagine the people of Panem were feeling ahead of the 75th Hunger Games. Though with less literal death.

Who out of Adam, Amber, Ben, Danni, Denise, Ethan, Jeremy, Kim, Michele, Natalie, Nick, Parv, Rob – yep, I’m totally doing this – Sarah, Sophie, Tony, Tyson, Wendell or Yul will join Sandra as a two-time victor? Or will the icon go three from four?

And more importantly, who will be the first person to have a quick snack with me – despite me being the whole, damn meal – on their way to the soon to be defunct Edge of Extinction?

Image source: Robert Voets/CBS.

 

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Tony Nachos

Main, Snack, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, TV Recap

Previously – aka minutes ago in viewing time – on Survivor, Sandra continued to be charming, Michaela continued to have killer facial expressions and poor Ciera found herself becoming the first boot of Survivor: Game Changers without having her mum around to vote out in her place.

We opened up at Mana the next day, where Tony announced how bored he was waiting for everyone to start playing the game. Aubry and Tony then convened at the well to put into place arguably the greatest alliance of all time, consisting of them, Malcolm and Sandra aka all the threats. Tony then approached Sandra who confirmed that winners going to the end together was the only way to win twice … which she would know, given she is the only one with a double crown.

Meanwhile over at Nuku, knowing his chances of ever winning are quite slim Tai continued his scam to swindle money from Sia while Debbie – adding pragmatist to her list of titles (I’m counting it as a job) – confirmed that Tai be damned, those chickens will eventually become her dinner. To which country boy JT obviously agreed.

Back at Mana, Tony continued to overplay and returned to digging his spy bunker under the cover of darkness. Sandra and Troyzan then went for a walk to discuss strategy – or tides and their crates’ proximity to the water – sending Tony into hyperdrive and setting off the beginning of the great Sandra vs. Tony feud.

I mean, it wouldn’t be a Sandra season without her feuding with a loud male.

Things were moderately less stressful over at Nuku where Ozzy and JT were getting friendly, terrifying poor sweet Cirie. She then went for a walk to the well with Sarah where they confirmed their allegiance to each other and set off Sarah’s – could it be – winner edit as she confirmed she will be changing her game this time.

Not one to rest on her laurels, Cirie then pulled Zeke and Debbie aside to try and make even more friends that could one day become lovers, or allies. Debbie then reminded us she is a Captain in the civil Air Force – maybe, I’m honestly starting to lose track of her resume and it is only episode 2 – and that she wasn’t falling for Cirie’s charm.

Debbie then added Veterinarian to her list of professions, I assume, given her ability to detect bull shit. *Boom tish*, thank you!

Over at Mana, Sandra continued to dismantle her alliance with Tony and proceeded to pull together a majority alliance in the space of five minutes. The Queen is a Queen for a reason.

The next day Tony then Aubry aside to build a counter-alliance with Malcolm and Caleb. Tony then approached Malcolm to discuss getting rid of Sandra, as she lurked in the background, before Caleb gave us his surprisingly – sorry Caleb – insightful view on the fact you can’t really trust either Sandra or Tony but that Tony was strong and strength was still important on day five.

Wanting to give us a break from the politicking, Jiffy Pop returned for the second immunity challenge where the tribes had to man-handle a big, long, thick snake through an obstacle course. I got distracted around the time Caleb cried out how tight it was …

Once again, despite Malcolm’s best efforts to catch up – and much to Michaela’s chagrin – Nuku won immunity setting off Malcolm’s Matsing PTSD and sending Mana back to tribal council.

Back at camp Sandra and Tony got to work rallying their troops – after a brief frustrated outburst from Michaela, which isn’t as charming as it was last season.

Sandra went with the fact that once Tony is gone, people will calm down … while Tony scurried around for an idol. Hali then made a play for Courtney Yates 2.0 – aka Sandy’s ride or die bestie – and started to work on Caleb and Malcolm. This spooked Tony who then took time away from his busy idol shopping schedule to pull Caleb aside and start working on Michaela to boot Sandra instead.

Not wanting to let Tony down, Caleb approached Michaela and Varner to talk about getting rid of challenge liabilities like Sandra, neglecting to realise that Varner was the sole reason they lost the last challenge.

Queen Sandra then gave us a final pre-tribal speech to confirm that Tony has only won once and that her legacy will speak for itself tonight. Yas Queen … or horrific foreshadowing of her downfall.

At tribal they got to work debating the merits of keeping the strong players, spooking Sandra for the first time in her Survivor career … before she correctly pointed out the fact that the strong people are the reason they lost the first two challenges and fell behind, not her.

Tony then got annoyed at Troyzan for correctly pointing out that Tony was erratic and paranoid. Sandra was then viciously attacked by a bug, terrifying Michaela. Tony then said that he respects the players as they were all game changers before Varner announced that they would be getting rid of the square peg that didn’t fit into their round hole. Which appeared to terrify Sandra and excite – obviously – me.

Thankfully her fears were unfounded as Tony was revealed as the square peg and found himself out of the game as the second boot. Wanting to one up Michaela’s exit last year, Tony proceeded to warn people about blindly following Sandra.

“That’s what you get for plotting against me. That’s what you get, and the Queen stays Queen. That’s what you get and take yo’ ass home. Bye Tony, say hi to Ciera for me” Sandra Diaz-Twine, iconic.

As glad as I was to see my girl win the war, I’m sad it was at the expense of my dear friend Tony who I met whilst training to be a cop in NJ at the turn of the millennium … before milk was flown in by drones.

Despite being expelled from the force for my illegal dealing, Tony and I stayed in touch and he endeavoured to help me see the light and live an honest life. As such, Tone was delighted to see me doing something decent with my life in Ponderosa and gladly accepted a big old bowl of my Tony Nachos.

 

 

I know what you’re thinking – maybe, sometimes – how does this differ to your Keanachu Reeves jerk? For one, no chipotle and two … this is a more relaxed nachos. Single – well probably double given the size of my bowls – serve, comforting, warm and everything you need to help work through the pain of going from Sole Survivor to slayed by the Queen.

Enjoy!

 

 

Tony Nachos
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ batch Chilli Con Kim Carnes
2 avocados
½ lemon, juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
bag of corn chips
handful of grated cheese … are you getting the impression this is a lazy
version of nachos?
sour cream, for slatherin’
Sriracha, for drizzlin’

Method
Cook the chilli as per Kimmy’s instructions. While that is simmerin’, mash the avocados and stir through the lemon juice and a whack of salt and pepper. Cover and chill in the fridge until serving.

Once ready, layer for pasta bowls with some corn chips. Top with some chilli and some cheese.

Place the bowls on a baking sheet and place under a medium grill/broiler for five minutes, or until the cheese is melty and delicious.

Remove, top with sour cream, guacamole and sriracha and devour.

 

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