Swedish Meatbaelan Bakehart

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the boys awoke on Day 46, proud to have navigated the entire game together and come out on top against all odds. Their joy was relatively short lived, however, as JLP wheeled out another painful final immunity challenge. Poor Myles only managed to last a few hours standing on tiny pegs and while AJ was super confident that he would never be stepping down, he fell off after three hours and handed Kaelan another record breaking win. And while it appeared to be great, Kaelan absolutely hated it, as he now had to betray one of his besties and ruin their dreams. At tribal council, he even pulled them aside to talk through what he should do, and despite AJ trying to lay it on thick, Kaelan made the wiser move and sent him out of the game as the final juror. As he watched on sobbing as JLP snuffed AJ’s torch.

The final two woke up on Day 47, admitting they finally slept soundly and were feeling good. After marking off the final day on the beach, Myles opened up to us about how much he loves strategy games and that all he has to do now is pitch his case. He was proud of playing such a big, loud, dramatic game, all while being targeted by each and every person. He knew that his social game was his weakness though, which led to bullets frequently firing at his head. But he pushed through it and laid low when required to make people forget about him. Though he was confident the jury weren’t thrilled with him or even thought that he deserved being crowned the victor.

As they cooked up breakfast, Kaelan was back to his usual chipper self, and shared that while he dominated challenges, he also played a strong game. He shared information when he needed to, and he always had the information because of his social game. And he used that to move the votes off his closest allies – AJ and Myles – when people started targeting them. Secretly masterminding Karin and Logan’s boots in the process. And that is what made him confident in his case, because did he mention, the jury hates Myles?

The final two made their way to tribal council where JLP outlined how things would play out. After opening statements, the jury would each ask a question before Kaelan and Myles would deliver a final statement before they headed off to vote. Kaelan then kicked off proceedings telling everyone how beautiful they were. He outlined breaking challenge winning records, but also being so kind as to distract people from how physical he was, also downplaying his intelligence and winning hearts. And it worked, as nobody considered him a threat. He then knew he could push towards the end of the game as he was so lovable, so started winning challenges and hiding behind the strategic shields in Myles and AJ. He then pointed out his biggest move was removing the biggest strategist of the season in AJ, and as such, he is the new alpha. Oh and he out brawned the brawns, and out brained the brains and as such, deserves the win.

Myles meanwhile did away with talking about a strategic or strength base game, talking about the fact he took risks all season and while sometimes his moves were a big miss, most of the time, they were massive hits. He knew he found himself on the bottom for being too enthusiastic and while he was on the bottom, he was always happy and made people want to keep him and use him. He also took all the heat, which took skill. And some personality defects, which he is aware of. He dominated with the advantages, which is a no brainer. He made it to the final three riding the dragons of the game, and then used one dragon to kill the other. While Kaelan cruised through the game, he survived in every facet and proved he is the ultimate bottom boy. Sorry, Paulie.

We pivoted to the jury where Kristin kicked things off asking them to outline who played each pillar better, with Myles agreeing Kaelan played the physical pillar best, but he dominated the strategic and social pillar. This fired up Kaelan who told everyone he owned the social as well, but the rest he agrees with. Paulie asked them what they were proud to show in the game, with Myles grateful to be able to prove that he has resilience, as it has never been tested in life. He played the bottom from day one and was able to push through, and by the halfway point, he rose. Kaelan said that he was proud of his mental toughness and trying to look after everyone he cares about. Which Kate questioned meant it was all actually an act, with the puppy pointing out anything that wasn’t strategic, was real.

Karin asked what each of them regretted, with Kaelan admitting that voting out AJ was his biggest regret as it was the only person he voted out that didn’t flip on him first. Myles wisely spoke about hating how he played from the top and while he loved the PD move, he regretted how he played the votes afterwards. Karin questioned whether he thought he would be here without advantages, with him admitting that he probably wouldn’t but he leveraged luck to make it to the end. Kaelan jumped in pointing out that he made his own luck and he is the most likely to make it to the end if they played the game multiple times. Myles agreed that some people make it all the way to the end of a poker game all the time but will never win, while Myles misplayed some games, he is far more likely to win. Essentially. Karin then pointed out to Kaelan that he was dealt consistently good hands, while he ignored it and mentioned he just made consistently small moves to keep in control. As the jury started to roll their eyes.

AJ then roasted the duo for being delusional before letting them each know what their biggest mistakes were. For Myles, it was the complete lack of logic in his final speech. Given he didn’t take the dragons to the end, if he wanted to take AJ out at five. Myles pointed out he rode the dragons for the game, but at five, he realised Zara would take him to the end and as such, wanted to protect her. So he made a decisive move and pivoted, which is what he did all season. Kaelan’s biggest mistake, however, was needing to drop the shields in fifth and fourth, however he didn’t, dragging them to the final three and giving himself a horrific uphill battle at final tribal council. And while you were correct, AJ, don’t make him cry. Kaelan argued that being a social threat, he needed to take two people that felt they could beat him in the end, as then they wouldn’t think of cutting him.

Logan asked what they would do if they woke up tomorrow and played the game again, with Kaelan standing by his game and sharing he wouldn’t change a thing as he was super confident in how he played. Myles meanwhile would have played a better social game and built positive relationships, putting a pin in strategy for the first five days and focusing on making friends. He actually thinks he learnt from his mistakes, though, throughout the game, applying everyone’s feedback and growing. And just like Kaelan, he is super proud of the game he played. And given the look on the faces of the jury, I think they were pretty proud too.

With that the jury voted, JLP brought out Myles’ bestie and Kaelan’s mum before reading the votes, crowning Myles the Sole Survivor in a 7-1 victory. Given Kaelan is human sunshine, it isn’t a shock that all he could talk about after the game was how proud of Myles he was. While the runner-ups tragically don’t get a prize in Australia, he broke a record which is unlikely to be broken any time soon and that enough is a victory. Plus, he inherited Max’s speedo and wore it for the latter part of the game, meaning he is firmly a gay icon. Which is the biggest honour a straight man can have. That and a Swedish Meatbaelan Bakehart.

As anyone that has ever been to Ikea will tell you, Swedish meatballs are always the right answer. Throw them in a baking tray with a hearty serving of mushrooms and sage, and well, they are perfection. And most importantly, easy. So, so easy.

Enjoy!

Swedish Meatbaelan Bakehart
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
10g dried porcini mushrooms
750g pork mince
¾ cup panko breadcrumbs
1 red onion, finely diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 egg
1 tsp ground fennel seeds
salt and pepper, to taste
⅓ cup olive oil
300g mushrooms, thinly sliced
800g canned borlotti beans, rinsed and drained
¾ cup double cream
½ cup sage leaves
100g baby spinach leaves
grated parmesan, to serve

Method
Pop the porcini in a heatproof bowl with 1½ cups of boiling water, and set aside for 10 minutes, to rehydrate and get plump.

While that is happening, combine the pork, breadcrumbs, onion, garlic, fennel and a good whack of salt and pepper in a large bowl, and scrunch to combine with your hands. Roll into golf ball sized balls and leave to rest on a lined plate.

Preheat the oven to 220C and pop a large baking dish in the oven for 5 minutes, or until nice and hot. Pour ¼ cup of olive oil in the hot tray, add the meatballs and mushrooms and return to the oven to bake for 10 minutes. Stir in the porcini and water, borlotti and cream, and return to the oven for 20 minutes, or until golden and bubbling. 

Heat the rest of the oil in a frying pan and once hot, add the sage leaves and cook for a couple of minutes, or until toasted and crisp.

Remove the tray from the oven and stir in the spinach meatballs until wilted, serving with mashed potato or pasta, crispy sage leaves and a good whack of parmesan. And devour, like a gorgeous, sweet king.


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Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls created an immersive experience for fans that promotes everything we love about the ever-expanding franchise, Drag Race World. While Scarlet was quickly able to identify this one as a branding challenge, and given she has a marketing degree, took control and absolutely slayed the game. Tia meanwhile tried desperately to keep Keta and Marina on task, in their group and while she was able to join Scarlet in the top, Keta was too much of a mess and landed in the bottom. With Jonbers, who was just flat as not a joke landed, while LGD and Hannah shone. In deliberations, Keta offered Tia some massages, while Jonbers worried that Scarlet was intimidated by her killer looks. Which may have been proven, as after Scarlet won the lip sync, she promptly booted Jonbers.

Backstage Scarlet was thrilled to finally grab her first solo win over the course of her three seasons, particularly since she felt sending a UK doll home was iconic. She felt her oats while cleaning the mirror, as Choriza felt that sending an icon like Jonbers home meant that the contest is really on. Keta thanked Scarlet for saving her, with Scarlet explaining her top performance in the ball is what tipped her over the edge, given she would like others to base decisions on her track record. Tia then tried to do a fake-out, pretending that she voted for Keta, before admitting that she too would have sent Jonbers home given she literally was just in the top two and has been slaying. Also, as she told us, eliminating one of the UK dolls means the target on her, Choriza and Gothy, is that much smaller with Jonbers gone.

The next day the mood was honestly full party mode as the dolls conga-ed into another week, while Marina just modelled, given she is an icon. The three victors showed off their badges as Hannah joked about being the queen of the safe club and as such, was grateful her target wasn’t so large. Ru then dropped by and quickly announced that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. Family Edition. Which obviously filled Tia with dread, given it is the challenge she went home. And as the winner of last week’s challenge, Scarlet had the power to select her family.

Everyone sat down to talk through the challenge, with Hannah, LGD and Keta proudly being past winners, while Choriza and Tia were terrified, given it was the challenge they went home on. Marina was happy with her OG performance, which is iconic to those in the Philippines, while Gothy and Scarlet were about to lose their Snatch Game virginity, and were equal parts nervous and excited. With that out of the way, Scarlet picked her family, going with Hannah, Choriza and Tia. Leaving the three ESL queens together, and Gothy, who is super shy, which feels shady. Which I love and hate. The families split up, with Scarlet announcing she will be making her debut as the Statue of Liberty, Tia was going with Anne Boleyn, while Choriza was going to be Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Before we could learn who Hannah was doing, Ru dropped by to kiki, laughing at Tia finally jagging a win before she announced she will be Anne Boleyn, which delighted Ru. As Tia vowed to smash it out of the park. LGD was going with Carla Bruni, which made Ru nervous, as the double French accent was becoming hard to understand. Marina is following Melinda Verga’s footsteps with some Manny Pacquiao, while Ru was equally delighted by Choriza’s choice to play Catherine of Aragon. Which is good that she is Spanish, because her English accent isn’t great. Though better than Marina’s TBH, but damn they are charming. Keta will be bringing Fran Drescher, while Hannah is following in Jimbo’s footsteps as Shirley Temple. But make it Megan the doll. Side note: both of these repeats were filmed BEFORE the others aired, so these are not copycats, ok? Ru was delighted by Scarlet’s choice of Statue of Liberty and a little nervous for Gothy giving Kim Woodburn. And ugh, her nerves are going to get to her and I hate it.

We ventured to the Snatch Game: Family Edition set as Team Scarlet were led by Sinitta, while the rest were led by guest Jane McDonald. Team McDonald all stuck with their OG choices, with LGD cute, Keta started off strong, but lacked the jokes while Marina, like Melinda, was an icon as Manny. And poor Gothy just straight up bombed. Team Sinitta also stuck with their plans where Hannah was demented – though not as demented as Jimbo, obvi – Scarlet was iconic, Choriza was glorious and Tia stole the show holding her own head in her hands. Tragically the international girls all really struggled competing in their second language, though thankfully Marina did land a few killer blows. Scarlet was a powerhouse and Choriza filthy, though it was Tia and Hannah who really owned Snatch Game, hopefully leaving us with another two-time victor and some much needed rudemption.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls in varying moods as Hannah was feeling her oats, Scarlet was thrilled to do a good job on her first go, while Gothy knew she bombed and felt she did worse than she even thought possible. Keta too, knew she bombed, while LGD knew their family were far and away the shittest. Knowing they need to do a good job, the dolls split up to get ready for their runways to hopefully save them. Talk turned to the dating scenes in their respective countries, with LGD opening up about being a romantic, though looking forward to being a little looser too. Marina admitted that she is perennially single, given there is too much beauty. Hannah joked about importing her favourite d, her Geordie boyfriend. While Scarlet and Gothy just desperately wanted to have a loving drag husband. Gothy opened up about not knowing who she is and how can’t love someone else until she figures it out and ugh, Gothy is just such a sweet, tragic figure in the franchise. Isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by knitting king Tom Daley as the dolls stomped the runway in Gone Cruisin’ looks. Keta gave patchwork pirate and ugh, she looked so stunning I mean, she even had an anchor nipple ring. Choriza was gorgeous in a blue and white latex mini with tentacles, LGD gave high fashion genuine sailor stripes in Gaultier, while Scarlet gave first class victim of the Titanic and Gothy gave baby Birth of Venus in the cutest way possible. Hannah gave Picnic at Hanging Rock on the ocean, but made it nightgown, Tia gave Ozempic Ursula – aka Karen the Kraken – and Marina closed the show with water heels and titties as a straight up sexy boat. And yeah, it was another slay.

Choriza and Marina were sent to safety before Keta was read for only just giving a laugh, and lacking the energy and fun of Fran. Which was tragically all there in her runway, which was excellence upon excellence. Tia meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being stupid and smart in equal measure as Anne Boleyn, and they also loved the runway, despite its simplicity. They wished LGD gave more and had fun, though obviously lived for her straight up perfect runway. Scarlet was praised for doing a solid job and looking perfect as Rose without her door from Titanic. Poor Gothy was read for just giving nothing in Snatch Game, and being too simple on the runway. While Hannah received wall to wall praise for being dumb and manic, and looking stunning.

Ultimately Tia and Hannah were deemed the top two of the week, and Scarlet and LGD were sent to safety leaving Keta Minaj and Gothy Kendoll up for elimination. Backstage Hannah and Tia were feeling their oats, while Choriza was gutted to be the new queen of the safe club. Tia opened up about how weird it is to be winning challenges, while Hannah was sad to elect a new president for her club in Choriza. Everyone spoke about how stunning LGD’s runway is, though they laughed about her choice of pizza boxer briefs underneath. Hannah checked in with Gothy whole was weeping quiet tears, while Keta was more upbeat about her bomb. Scarlet clocked Gothy for deciding she will be bad and as such, being bad in all the challenges.

Hannah caught up with Gothy to let her know how much she loves her, with Gothy talking about how difficult the contest is and how it keeps her stuck in her head. Hannah tried to get the fight from her, asking what Gothy needs to succeed. Though she seemed too broken to muster a tangible answer. Tia told Keta how strong she knows she is, though also noted that she has now been in the bottom twice in a row. They traded places with Keta telling Hannah that while she isn’t funny, she has a fire to be here and is ready to fight. Which both delighted and made Hannah scared that she could beat her in the end. Gothy spoke to Tia about how much the competition means to her, though worried about how she will be able to apply the judges feedback. With Tia straight up asking if she can cut it, or whether she should eliminate her as Keta is ready to fight each and every episode.

After Tia and Hannah selected their lipsticks, they ventured back to the mainstage as Ru pulled out the wireless and popped on Alcazar’s Crying at the Discotheque. And damn, the dolls turned a show. Though like Jimbo before her, Hannah tragically failed by not lip syncing as Shirley Temple. So while she hit every lyric and gave sex, Tia gave camp and emotion in equal measure, which was all it took to take out victory and claim her first badge. And then promptly saved her UK sister and showed Keta the door.

As Keta arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she was robbed, it still remains the best way to go if you’re going to place in the middle of the pack. Which she eventually agreed was true. I mean, look what happened to Pangina and Jimbo? Universally beloved and everyone is gagging for more, while Jujubee stayed consistent and made it to the end, but with a whimper and now we can’t have her back every year or so. Which honestly, is a travesty. I went on this exact rant with Keta and while she got bored in the middle, I brought it back to her situation and how bright her future may be. Which cheered her up as much as eating a big ol’ Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken.

This is the perfect mid-week meal, for when you need something warm and comforting, but are also close to tears as the weight of work and life gets to you. What, just me? Oh well, try it on a Wednesday night and you will understand.

Enjoy!

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
kosher salt and black pepper
2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick chips
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, sliced
1 lemon, quartered
1 cucumber, sliced
1 batch Aileen Choddess Dressing
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
4 Pita Andre Breads

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C. 

In a bowl, toss together the chicken with half the oil, the garlic, paprika, cumin, chilli, oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and a pinch of salt. 

While that does a quick little marinade, toss the sweet potato in the remaining oil with a good whack of salt and pepper. Spread on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, flip and push to one end, adding the chicken, halloumi and lemon. Return to the oven to bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and the chips crispy.

To serve, line a bowl with the Aileen Choddess Dressing, divide the chicken, chips and halloumi, dollop over the hummus, sprinkle with cucumber coins and squeeze over the caramelised lemon. Then devour, greedily, with a pita.


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James Van Detray Bake

Baking, Dawson's Creek 20th Anniversary, Main, Poultry

After starting things off with the dreamy Josh Jackson, followed up with the liberated Katie Holmes and my dear old friend Mary Beth Peil, we’ve arrived at the owner of the Creek. Yep – today is all about Dawth-son, my boy JVDB.

As you know – since this isn’t his first time on my patch of cyber-space – JVDB and I were lovers and then the best of friends. And most importantly, he is the reason I am married. Well technically it is thanks to the words of Fauxy on the series finale of Dawson’s Creek … but he made me watch it and as such, gets the points.

Given we’ve only recently caught up on the record – we have a monthly date and it is seminal to my happiness … this time, my meaning of seminal flies – I was surprised that he was able to make the trip down under. But I guess, how could you say no to honouring the 20th anniversary of the greatest role of your career?

JVDB has been hella busy of late, so was thrilled to be able to take some time to honour his work, while enjoying some R&R. Plus – I promised to cook up his second favourite food, my James Van Detray Bake.

 

 

Inspired by Nigella’s tray bake in Nigellissima, this little number – and I hate to say it – is even better than the OG. I mean, how do you go wrong with the addition of chilli and garlic?

Enjoy!

 

 

James Van Detray Bake
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
4 washed potatoes, cut into chunks
8 garlic cloves, peeled
1 punnet cherry tomatoes
6 sprigs of rosemary
6 few sprigs of thyme
small handful of sage, roughly chopped
1 lemon, juiced and zested
1 tbsp chilli flakes
10 chicken thighs, bone in
8 Italian sausages
olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C.

Chuck the potatoes, garlic, tomatoes, rosemary, thyme, sage, lemon juice and zest and chilli in a large baking dish and toss together. Add the thighs and sausages, pushing them into holes, burying some and leaving others all exposed.

Drizzle with a good lug of olive oil, season generously and transfer to the oven to bake for about an hour, checking after 45 minutes to avoid burning the meat.

Once cooked through, remove from the oven and allow to stand for about ten minutes before serving. And in turn, devouring.

 

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