Month: July 2022

Pheko Phettata

Breakfast, Main, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa 20 castaways from seasons past relit their torches for a shot at redemption and an even bigger prize. Split based on their placement in their original seasons, the post-merge returnees on Masu quickly stamped their name on the contest and easily took out reward. Sadly for them, that was as far as it went as Yontau dominated the first immunity challenge and protected Seamus from going the way of Francesqua. Yontau was nearly split down the middle, with a trio of pairs aligning against the Season 6 castaways. And Tejan. However that was all for nought as Chappies was sprung hunting for a hidden immunity idol in the middle of the night, with his ally Dante leading the charge to send our iconic Nude King Chappies from the game.

The next day his duo Steffi was feeling isolated after being left out of the loop for the first time in her Survivor career. On the flipside, Palesa was thrilled to be in the majority for once. She opened up about her surprise at Tevin giving her the idol, knowing it could help solidify things with the other tribe after the swap. Given she isn’t overly comfortable with the current majority, which is a trademark good read from Palesa. Speaking of which, Marian was catching up with Dante and Meryl and locking in the plan for their original alliance and flipping on the alliance with Season 6. Likely making them wish they only played poker together, rather than getting inked. Shane meanwhile was disappointed by the blindside and almost being voted out, though after Marian caught him up on all the drama – and how she protected him – he was well and truly feeling better.

Over at Yontau the tribe were living their best lives, except for Tania who was disappointed in Pinty and her general selfishness when it comes to food. After she quietly complained to Phil, the tribe went for a walk down along the beach leaving Thoriso to look for the idol. And when Tania and Killarney caught her, she told them not to worry about her given Tevin had already found it as she watched on. Which obviously spread like wildfire and eventually made its way to Tevin who was surprisingly chill, instead only concerned by the fact that perception is reality and he now has to navigate it, rather than say, seek out revenge on Thoriso ASAP.

The tribes reconvened with zaddy Nico for the immunity challenge where Yontau were gagged to see Chappies had been voted out. But back to the challenge. Five castaways from each tribe will race out in the water one at a time to retrieve a fish trap holding balls before the rest of the tribe wheel them back in. And once all the balls have been retrieved, they will shoot them into a trough with the first to land them all jagging immunity and reward, in the form of an epic fishing kit. Pinty got Yontau out to a very early lead while Masu struggled to figure out the winch system. Lucky for them, Tevin struggled in the water allowing them to close the gap slightly but TBH, it was still a blow out despite Shane working overtime shooting half of the Masu balls as Dino secured immunity for Yontau.

More importantly, we won as Dante rocked his speedo during the challenge.

Back at camp Yontau were thrilled to take out victory and while they were all happy, Tevin killed the vibe by calling out people speculating about him having an idol. Tania being the absolute sweetest took the fall and said she had been speculating about it only and while I love her for doing it, I feel like this is coming back to bite her. With that, Tevin pointed out the symbols around camp to everyone and then led the tribe on an idol hunt with Seamus successfully jagging it. Though disappointed everyone knew, rendering it powerless. But you know, at least he has it for the next tribal council should they go, since it expires after then.

Later that day, Pinty snuck off by herself to smash a secret coconut before coming back to camp to cuss out Tania for calling her out for eating more than everyone else. She then stormed off in the darkness to go hunt for mussels while the tribe rallied around Tania and assured her they agreed, though they weren’t really open to calling Pinty out and creating tension. No doubt since none of them want to miss the merge a second time by rocking the boat like Pinty.

We checked in with Masu where Palesa was frustrated by their loss and wanted to focus on keeping the tribe strong, rather than sticking with her alliances. Toni and PK meanwhile were desperate to get rid of Marian given she isn’t overly strong and not open with them about her gameplay. As Toni caught up with Steffi and suggested Marian be the one to go, Marian quietly watched on and knew she had to get to work and prove Toni wrong. Steffi immediately approached an upset Marian, who opened up to her about how she is in so much pain due to her vitiligo and being in the sun. And damn, I am loving Steffi this season as she quietly held Marian and raised her up. Toni meanwhile continued to go person to person talking about how weak Marian is, with Palesa happy to sit back and let her take the lead.

Well, until she disagrees with a decision.

Marian, Steffi, Meryl and Dante caught up to figure out the counterplan, with Meryl wanting to focus on Toni given she can morph into her role within the tribe. Though she was willing to wait it out, given there should be another opportunity and as such, she was fine to tow the line and get rid of PK. Dante opened up about wanting to play a more active game this go around, so led the charge to rally said vote against PK before dropping by to chat to Toni and pretend he was keen to get rid of Marian. 

Oh and then Marian straight up found a diplomatic immunity idol, which just means she can elect to join the other tribe at tribal council – or send someone else from the tribe – before they vote. And while that is risky, that could be super useful post-swap, which is exactly how she sold it to her delighted allies.

At tribal council Steffi spoke about the tribe being struck down with a case of the alphas and as such, every time they compete, everyone is jockeying to lead rather than working together. Shane agreed and suggested that the one true leader needs to emerge and make decisions for them, which is advice that I’m not exactly sure will fix things. Dante spoke about the pre-season relationships playing a role in decision making, which annoyed Toni and PK who fired up and said people need to move on from their matching tattoos they got after their first season (essentially). Palesa meanwhile downplayed past relationships and instead spoke about the real issue being everyone is trying to run from their past games and as such, creating a lot of uncertainty.

Dante spoke about making the decision that will help them win challenges, which doesn’t necessarily mean physical strength. This led to Marian opening up about her emotional breakdown and that Steffi was the only one to comfort her, leading to Toni once again firing up and saying she never even saw it. And the fact Marian also never even spoke to her today, so she wasn’t ostracising her. Meryl admitted she didn’t speak to everyone either, though she spoke to people that were privy to other plans. Shane spoke about making decisions based on sticking with the majority, which everyone agreed was their plan, meaning half the tribe are about to be blindsided.

With that the tribe votes and Shane was one of the people that actually landed in the majority as the Breakfast Club banded together to take out PK. As Toni watched on in tears, kinda proving their decision right, given how close they are. Which is something PK agreed with as he arrived at Loser Lodge and I entered into my usual post-boot peptalk. Like Chappies before him, the odds were always stacked against PK going into the season due to his bonds and being a massive threat. Which seemed to be enough to cheer him up as we smashed a Pheko Phettata (but sadly only a Pheko Phettata).

Light, fluffy and a little bit spicy, this little Mexican inspired frittata is the perfect way to start the day. Or close out your second Survivor journey. Or for any reason, TBH.

Enjoy!

Pheko Phettata
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
1 chorizo, sliced into coins
1 potato, cut into 1cm dice
1 red onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, crushed
400g red kidney beans, drained, rinsed
a small handful coriander leaves, roughly chopped
6 eggs
½ cup cream
⅓ cup parmesan cheese, grated, plus extra to serve
1 tsp hot sauce
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 170°C.

Pop a frying pan over medium heat and cook the chorizo for a couple of minutes, or until the onion starts to ooze. Add the potato and onion and cook, stirring, for a further five minutes. Add the garlic and beans and cook for a further minute. Remove from the heat and stir in the coriander.

Transfer the mixture into a greased pie dish. Whisk together the eggs, cream, parmesan, hot sauce and a good whack of salt and pepper. Pour over the chorizo and potato mixture, followed by another sprinkling of cheese.

Pop the frittata in the oven and cook for 20-30 minutes, or until golden, puffed and cooked through. Allow to rest for five minutes before transferring to a plate and devouring. Joyously.


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Cheeseburger Chappies

Main, Side, Snack, Street Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa 146 castaways lined up to play across 8 seasons and while their were countless iconic moments – Chappies nude scenes, for instance – and blindsides, only 8 people walked away as winners while 136 exited the game as losers. Well, assuming my maths is correct. Which, TBH, it probably isn’t. In any event, it did lead us here, with zaddy Nico, to welcome back 20 castaways returning for a shot at redemption. Or more likely, to get their torch snuffed once again.

The castaways jetted in on speed boats where we learnt that the Yontau would be made up of pre-merge boots like Shona who was not thrilled to be on a tribe with chaotic players like Tania and Pinty. Thankfully the iconic Tania was ready to learn from her mistakes and take the back seat, while Killarney was thrilled to be a mystery to her fellow castaways given she played so long ago. And trust and believe, she will be using it to her advantage. Over on Masu who all made it to the merge on their first go around, Steffi wasn’t thrilled to be competing with Chappies given he was a dirty little food thief, while Meryl was thrilled to be reunited with her former ally Dante. Despite the fact it clearly makes them both targets. PK was nervous to see Tevin on the rival tribe, given he had already blindsided him once before while Marian and Shane were thrilled to be reunited. And hopeful their season was old enough that they would be considered unknowns. 

And did I mention Queen Palesa is back? Because, work.

The two tribes’ boats docked on the shore and met up with Nico where Seamus was thrilled to be back and glad that he can’t place worse than his first go around, which is a very good point. Thoriso is glad to be a returnee despite not making the merge or playing well, while Tejan was nervous to be back after 11 long years. And Chappies was shitting his pants with excitement to be back after a matter of months, though also knew it was concerning as he is very fresh in people’s minds. Tevin meanwhile was ready for revenge on the two people that voted him out, while Marian pointed out that while she made the merge, nobody made the finale and as such, they all have something to prove. And yes, Queen Marian.

Oh and then Nico dropped the goss that they’d be playing for 2 million rand and well, they were overjoyed. Particularly Chappies, since it makes his loss make more sense, since he was destined for the double prize. Obviously.

Nico then warned them that they would have to earn that increased prize with the most intense season ever. And to prove it, they were put to the test in their first reward challenge for a flint. And said challenge would be a repeat of the Season 7 – and many US and Australian seasons too – classic where in pairs, they would have to race and collect a ring from a pole and get it back to their tribe pole, with the first team to three winning. And if the boys start pulling at each other’s clothes Australian style, we win.

Killarney and Thoriso were first up facing Palesa and Steffi, the latter of whom had an injured ACL and was worried she wouldn’t be able to replicate her dominant performance on her first season. Thankfully for her and Masu, she still made easy work of the challenge and jagged their first point without even breaking a sweat. Chappies and Dante faced off against Felix and Seamus and damn did they put up a fight. While Seamus was first to the ring, Chappies brutally tackled him before they all snuggled in a puddle and while their pants stayed on, I still ship them. Oh and then Dante made a break and scored a second point for Masu. But never forget the cuddle puddle. Tevin and Pinty battled Toni and Tejan to keep them in the game, which they did as Tevin darted out of the fray and scored the first point for Yontau. Meryl and Marian then played for the game against Tania and Shona and while they were confident, Tania and Shona put up a valiant fight, wrestling their rivals until they dragged them to the Masu pole and scored reward for their fellow post-merge returnees.

We followed Yontau back to camp where the tribe were shocked by how minimal their supplies were, while Thoriso was busy focusing on the fact their trees had symbols on them. Hopeful they would lead her to an idol. While Dino was just terrified about how little they had. Meanwhile at Masu, Dante was hoping to learn from his mistakes and keep all his options open and build relationships with everyone. The first apparently being with Chappies as the duo bonded over being strong challenge beasts and honestly, a little bit of fangirling. And since Chappies knows Steffi from outside the game, he was confident they would be a strong trio. Speaking of Steffi, she and Marian were gossiping about PK, Tevin and Toni all having matching tattoos and being close, and as such, decided they should get rid of PK ASAP. Which I assume means Marian is also in the alliance with Steffi, Chappies and Dante, whether she likes it or not. Toni and PK meanwhile pulled Tejan in and were ready to pull in Palesa as their fellow Season 6 player.

Over at Yontau Tania was trying to fight her instincts and stay calm, which meant she immediately approached Thoriso and Pinty to align. Then Killarney. Completely aware that she was sliding back into panicked Tania. Dino and Seamus meanwhile were bonding over how weird it was to be back, with Seamus opening up about how hard he was on himself after being booted first and how it has taken him a long time to heal. Back at camp Shona was suggesting they watch the sunset, though she cautioned they avoid smashing an unripe pineapple as they relaxed, in case it makes their stomachs sore. Which in turn made Pinty slip back into her old ways and get angry, before she went for a walk and calmed down, knowing she needs to keep it in check if she wants to win.

We returned back to Masu where Meryl, Marian and Steffi snuck away to lock in an alliance, with Shane and Dante pulled in with their pairs. And then Chappies became their arbitrary sixth person after Steffi pulled him in. Which made her nervous, given she didn’t want her loyalty outside of the game – since they know each other – to ruin how she plays. Meanwhile Dante was on the hunt for an island wife with PK, as Marian was thrilled to date Dante. We then learnt that she and PK briefly dated a decade ago and while he thinks everything is all good between them, she was more than ready to cut him and get her revenge for being sketchy to her. Which is the kind of drama I live for.

The next day the Masu six were left alone at camp, shocked by their luck to openly strategise against the other four and figure out how to dismantle their bonds and take complete control. Meanwhile Palesa, Toni and PK were down by the beach with Toni feeling nervous about their position in the game and unsure how they will survive should they lose the first challenge. That being said, PK is busy painting the target on his back and that is enough for her to feel a little at ease given he clearly would go first.

We returned back to Yonatu where Tevin was ready to make a name for himself and not get stuck into his perceived trio with Toni and PK. As such, he approached Seamus and quickly locked him in as a number.

Back at Masu Shane was feeling confident in his alliance with Marian, despite the fact they haven’t even spoken. She then pointed out a symbol on a tree next to camp, leaving him to dig around the roots to see if he could find anything, while she darted off to loop in Dante.

The tribes then received treemail directing them to select two people to go on a journey to the Outpost where they would have to negotiate for supplies. Which obviously made everyone super nervous and paranoid. After much deliberation, Yontau selected to send Seamus and Thoriso to go on their behalf while Masu opted for Shane and Steffi. The latter of whom being selected by drawing the short straw. Much to Toni and Palesa’s disappointment.

As the foursome arrived at the Outpost they learnt they would be able to select two supplies for each tribe, with Shane offering for them to go first in the hope they selected flint and he and Steffi could jag what they wanted. Sadly for them Seamus bluffed and immediately selected rice, leaving Masu to get lentils and pap, while Yontau opted for the flint as their second choice. Before being dismissed, they read another note announcing that the four of them would now have to vote for somebody back at camp to receive the Outpost’s idol, the catch being it was only valid for the first tribal council. And should it be a tie, the tied players would draw rocks. And should the owner of the idol win immunity, they would still attend tribal council and play it at the other tribe’s tribal council. Which is quite the power, TBH.

The couples tried to outsmart each other, with Masu willingly pointing out their weakest while Yontau wisely opted to keep things quiet. Despite the fact Thoriso would have liked to keep to give Steffi and Shane something to keep her options open with them moving forward, but Seamus wasn’t interested. Which begged the question, has he learned as much from his first experience as I thought? Steffi and Shane received a heroes welcome as they arrived back at camp with all the food, while Palesa wondered what else they won at the Outpost. While they were tragically honest about the idol vote, proving it is never good to do these things. Back at Yontau, however, everyone believed every word Thoriso and Seamus said, so maybe sometimes you can win.

That night at Masu, Chappies got up to his usual overnight fun and started digging for an idol before he was quickly joined by Steffi. Sadly for the duo, however, Dante woke up and saw them, quickly looping in Palesa. Which you know can only mean trouble. The next morning, Dante pulled the Season 6 crew aside to let them know about Chappies and keep the target on him, as everyone agreed they didn’t want to deal with all that paranoia. Though Toni did admit that if Chappies isn’t being paranoid, someone else probably would be instead. But she is happy to have a target on someone else’s back. Meanwhile at Yontau Tevin, Dino, Pinty and Seamus caught up to see what they would do should they go to tribal council and while nobody was willing to name a name – despite the obvious Tania – they all appeared to be a little frozen by going out early their first time and are trying to hold firm until something big happens.

Speaking of something big, the tribes met up with Nico for the first immunity challenge where we learnt Seamus and Thoriso were way smarter than their post merge counterparts, loading their votes on Tevin while the Masus voted for Tania. Who tragically lost the following rock draw, giving Tevin all the power at the upcoming tribal council whether they win immunity or not. But back to the challenge, where they would have to break through a reed wall, use a monkey fist to release puzzle pieces, build a ladder, unlock or unite other ladders and then maneuvre their way through and over obstacles to light a flame at a tower at the end of the course. 

Yontau got out to the earliest of leads, no doubt with the fire to guarantee one of them doesn’t go out pre-merge again (yet). After Pinty whipped through the knots, PK opted to unlock the ladders which only put them further behind. As Masu desperately tried to close the gap, Yontau slotted the final ladders in and lit their torch and secured themselves immunity. Guaranteeing one of the post-mergers would become a first boot. Just like Seamus in the Philippines.

Back at camp Yontau were living their best lives, with Tania more than happy to shamelessly celebrate the fact their rivals finally get to feel what it is like to truly be an outcast in the game. Seamus put his foot in his mouth again, pointing out that Masu tried to give their weakest player the idol and the strategy backfired anyway, before Phil and Shona stepped to say it was the other tribes perception and that they all love Tania and know she is a powerhouse. Proving to be far more adept than she is given credit for, Tania admitted that she knows she was likely going to be the first boot from their tribe, though is grateful nobody ever made her feel she would be. Which earned a lot of sympathy, and likely change some people’s minds. Assuming she is playing 5D chess like I’m implying. Tevin brought up the idol of it all, asking the tribe what they think he should do and while he appeared open to ideas, he is totally protecting PK, right?

We caught up with Masu where Shane was heartbroken to have lost immunity while Marian was frustrated that the tribe weren’t working together. More specifically, PK’s ego was the thing that got in the way of their victory. She and Meryl knew Tevin would likely be playing his idol for PK and Toni, leading to them joining up with Dante, PK, Toni and Tejan, with Toni and Dante floating getting rid of Chappies and splitting the vote on Shane. Which didn’t make Meryl and Marian feel comfortable, though they kinda felt like there was no other option.

As Dante, Marian and Meryl caught up with Steffi and Chappies to lock in the vote against Shane. Though it was very clear Dante was still ready to cut Chappies. Shane then caught up with Meryl and Steffi to loop then in on how sketchy he feels Dante is – since Shane has been watching him like a hawk – wanting to flip the vote on him instead. And while he assured them this would be the only thing he orchestrates, Meryl now felt he was a little too sketchy. Particularly as he continued to push for Dante. While poor Chappies admitted he was just trying to stay calm and hold firm.

We checked back in with Yontau were the tribe seemed to agree that Tevin should give his idol to Palesa, while Felix put his neck on the line to try and advocate for Dante. Which Tevin admitted was a good idea, given how loyal he is.

At tribal council Shane spoke about how difficult this season is, particularly since everyone is trying to rectify their mistakes from previous games. Shane then admitted that battle lines have been drawn since day two, while Toni wished she realised that had happened. She then spoke about focusing on Survivor 101 and sticking to their word, reminding them that flipping and lying so soon paints a target on your back. Steffi spoke about losing the challenge because they were fractured, while Tejan cautioned them not to give too much away, given they have an audience. Chappies reiterated that Tevin could throw a spanner in the works, while Meryl pointed out he has three Season 6 castaways he would clearly protect with the idol. While Toni and Marian awkwardly whispered before getting caught by Nico.

Nico then explained how the idol process would work, with Masu voting before Tevin would go and anonymously vote for who he would give immunity to. Oh and to help make his decision, he was able to ask his own questions of the tribe. He then opted for chaos, asking Steffi and Shane why they told the Yontau duo to vote for Tejan to get immunity. Which made everyone annoyed, asking why that was left out of their post-Outpost recap and why they decided he was on the bottom. Until Marian thankfully calmed them all down and reminded them that Tevin just wanted to create drama and as such, they all need to calm down.

With that the tribe voted before Tevin voted for the immunity and headed back to camp. Nico then collected the votes and announced that Palesa was immune before the votes rolled in between Shane and Chappies with Shane throwing out a single vote for Dante. Which ultimately saved himself from a tie and sent Chappies from the game as the first boot. With not even a single nude season to his name. Tragically.

Chappies was heartbroken as he arrived back at Loser Lodge, though admitted he was still happy to have gotten a second chance to play the game. I reminded him that I still loved him – despite the lack of nudity – and while he is the first boot, it happened because he came in with such a massive target on his back. And well, if it was good enough for Tina Wesson to go from first to worst, it should be good enough for him. Particularly knowing how she dominated on her third go. With that, he was well and truly perked back up and gladly toasted him success over a big bowl of Cheeseburger Chappies.

There is nothing I love more than turning a cheeseburger into another style of food and well these little babies are one of the best you can have. Yeah sure, these lean more towards the side of being a croquette, but who cares when they taste this good? Nobody.

Enjoy!

Cheeseburger Chappies
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
½ cup American Cheese, grated
4 dill pickles, finely chopped
1 tsbp ketchup
1 tbsp American mustard
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp garlic powder
salt and pepper, to taste
2 cups flour
1-2 eggs, lightly whisked
2 cups panko breadcrumbs
olive oil for drizzlin’ or olive oil spray

Method
Pop the mince, cheese, pickles, ketchup, mustard, onion and garlic powders in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper and scrunch until well combined. Form the mixture into chips and place on a lined baking sheet. Cover and place in the fridge to set for an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 200C.

Place the flour in a bowl, the eggs in another and the breadcrumbs in a third. Take the chips out of the fridge and working one at a time, dip in the flour, then the egg followed by the panko until well coated. Repeat the process until done.

Once all the chips are gorgeously covered, pop them back on a lined baking sheet, drizzle or spray with oil and transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and crisp on the outside.

Once cooked, served immediately with your fave burger condiments before devouring.


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Hey Ya! Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Bringing-back-the-Outcasts-of-South Africa

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts

If you couldn’t tell from my cryptic title which was inspired by Toto, in that I fit way too many syllables in the sentence BUT, my dear Nico is making a triumphant return to our screens for Survivor South Africa. And he’s bringing with him some former castaways to boot.

The aforementioned – well, referenced – outcasts.

Not only are Nico and Co. back, but they’re rolling out Australian Survivor style four times a week and while I’d like to assure you I’ll be able to keep up, we know I can’t make that promise. Particularly since we’re Drag Race-a-palooza season. Instead, I promise to try – the most hollow of commitments – and will roll out sass as consistently as I can. 

Will Chappies strip off again and go all the way (to the end)? Will Tania still charm her way through chatting about weed? Will Dante still be a zaddy with a fresh haircut? And will Seamus survive a tribal council?

The only one certainty we have is that Palesa will be an icon! 

Who do you think will win?

📷: M-Net.


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Jaida Essence Halloumi

Cheese, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Winners Jaida was joyously feeling her oats, out in front with three stars as the girls with only one started to worry about their path to the finale. None more than Monet. In the last Maxi Challenge the dolls acted in the epic scene Santa’s School For Girls, a Christmas, horror, teen movie hybrid. Raja and The Vivienne slayed, Trinity and Jaida were silly and fun while Jinkx did the best she could with the worst part in the scene. Ultimately though it was Raja and Viv who found themselves becoming the top two, with Raja slaying the lip sync and taking out the win. And girl, she was well and truly giddy with power as she joyous blocked former frontrunner Jaida.

Backstage Raja was well and truly feeling her oats, thrilled to not just jag a second star but to claim $10k. While The Viv was glad to finally get her second star on her third win, Jaida arrived and was heartbroken to be blocked while looking so damn cute. While Raja straight up pointed at her and laughed. Like a damn icon. As Trinity asked Jaida if she was happy about learning the secret of the plunger, Raja grew more and more jealous about the fact she isn’t in on the gag. Which obviously lead to Jaida floating the idea of nobody blocking Raja so she can never find out what she is missing out on. Talk turned to track records with everyone but Shea and Monet thrilled to be close to making it to the finale, before it descended into absolute chaos – as it so often does – with the star moment obviously being Shea’s Kevin McCalister impersonation.

Things were decidedly more calm the next day as Monet continued to smart about having only one star. Thankfully before she could get too in her feelings, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be making their own branded viral videos for social media, all to one of Ru’s songs. Because she is nothing if not a smart lady who is going to get those royalty cheques.

The dolls split up to talk through their ideas with Raja being totally relatable, knowing a tonne about TikTok dances but being disgusted by the thought of doing one. Everyone opened up about their brands with Monet starting to feel good about the challenge, which made her nervous, given she assumed there must be a catch. Jaida meanwhile was keeping it simple, Trinity was going to combine her signature three moves while Yvie was leaning into having no bones. That being said, she was super stressed given she hates viral dances and only uses the internet for cat videos. Which is so relatable, except I watch French Bulldogs and Bostons.

Jinkx meanwhile was smashing a peanut butter sandwich into her mouth which WOULD be relatable, except she used smooth rather than Super Crunchy. That being said, while everyone thought she was losing her grip on reality, like Katya before her, she was feeling pretty confident and committing to making a sandwich for her four bars.

Ru made a triumphant return – screaming wagon wheel watusi, no less – to check in with the girls with The Vivienne ready to do a so you can’t dance Viv-eo, Shea would Shea-ke it down to get a star, Trinity was doing THE tuck and Yvie was leaning into the odd by way of Gumby. Jinkx meanwhile was sticking with the sandie-j dance, leaning in to her middle aged mother persona, while Monet was going to be doing the ex-change and while Ru was confused by her explanation, her excitement and energy is clearly going to prove her well. As will Ru’s suggestion to lean into money moves.

When it came to shooting their dances, Yvie was living her best life and so much fun, Jinkx was so damn stupid and I loved every moment, Trinity was in full momager mode with her back-up dancers, Viv was silly, Shea shook it all up, Raja looked stunning, Jaida kept forgetting her lines and Monet thought she lost a nail.

Runway Day arrived with Monet excited to see how their dances turned out and more importantly, grab herself a second star. Finally. Shea meanwhile opened up about dreaming of being a dancer as a child, explaining that she took that vibe into the challenge. Shea and Monet then tried to identify their mononym, which immediately made Jaida want in. Trinity and Jinkx meanwhile kikied about their videos with the latter showing how she clearly understood the assignment, saying the dance was there but whatever, because she truly sold herself. Trinity was also happy with hers. They then spoke about stars, realising everyone either catches up this week or two girls can join Jaida out in front. The Viv, Raja and Jaida were also talking about stars with Raja questioning what she wanted more, another star or to finally learn the secret of the plunger. While Jaida joked about being blocked all the way to the end. And yeah, Raja is totally getting blocked, isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on the judges panel by Ben Platt as Shea kicked off the What Lies Beneath runway in a stunning, tonal, blue gown, complete with her buns out. Jaida too went with icy shades of blues before revealing a stunning floral gown before serving stripes and a a fiery, floral nude illusion. The Viv went from Wicked Witch to Elsa to Elsa, in pants. Raja was a bright delight, serving hoops, spikes, flamingos and finally, body-ody-ody. Yvie went from a cocoon to a slimily slug, Jinkx was perfect in a Picasso suit to Monet – the artist, not her sister – gown before going Pollack housewife before rocking cubism. And yeah, it was great. Monet went Harriet Tubman, to Black Panther and then BLM and like Jinkx, it was perfect. Trinity meanwhile was a burlesque babe going from mermaid gown to sexy flower.

Shea’s video was hilariously serious giving confused moves and well, she looked fucking stunning. The judges lived for how charming she was in her video and by the fact her dance was totally achievable for a viral moment. Oh and then lived for her runways. They lived for how silly and on brand Jaida was serving the new diva rules. And obviously her outfits were deemed perfect. The Viv gave classic British humour, complete with taking the piss out of internet culture and the passion for repeating the words, The Viveo. And her musical theatre looks were deemed stunning. Aunty Raja gave self-help via dance video and ugh, it was so stupid I lived for every moment. Which is exactly how the judges felt, about the video and her runways.

Coooool.

Yvie gave full Yvie, ridiculous, camp and all limb. And well, I totally see her dance going viral within the next 24 hours. And the judges once again felt her runway was stunning, but her make-up was even better. Jinkx meanwhile stole the show, polished, wild, dumb and hilarious from start to finish. And had Ru nearly wetting her pants. And her art received universal praise for her work of art on the runway. Monet’s video oozed charm and personality as she leaned into Ru’s suggestions and like Yvie, will be viral in the next day. When it came to her runway, they all lived for how great she looked while serving such a powerful message. Trinity rounded out the show serving stupid in her video, being wild, sexy and so bloody fun. And rightly received universal praise for her stunning runway.

Backstage the dolls were loving their turn on the runway, mainly because Ben was flirting with all of them. Everyone praised each other on their looks, gushing over all the details and honestly, once again, I love seeing how much the dolls all clearly love each other. And how the competition has given them the space to show another side of themselves and try new things. Talk turned to their videos and who the girls think will be in the top, with Monet thinking it is down to her, Shea, Trinity and Jinkx.  That in turn lead to talking about getting blocked with Raja talking about how fun it was to block one of her sisters, likening it to Monopoly. While Jinkx obviously didn’t like the concept of blocking, though mainly because she is one of two people that have had to do it twice. While Yvie and Monet felt left out, given they’ve never gotten to block.

After a detour about selfies, Ben Platt dropped by to kiki with the girls. And let me tell you, he was just so great as Dear in Dear Evan Hansen.

Ultimately it was Monet who landed in the top two alongside Jinkx before they competed for the ultimate win in a spoken word lip sync to the icnoic scene from Designing Women. Which was every bit as fun and delightful, and wild, as you can imagine. And while I will stan Jinkx until the day I die, there was no denying this was Monet’s moment. Just like the night the lights went out in Gerogia. She was silly, sassy and honestly a star, earning her $10k before she promptly blocked Raja. Who you just know is going to be pissed when she discovers there is no bloody secret next week.

As they were filing backstage, Jaida was shocked as I whispered at her to come and follow me. Given she has the most stars, alongside Jinkx. I then had to explain that Ru hadn’t shared the intel re. the star system before I set this season’s rules and as such, based it on wins. And tragically, she has the least amongst the dolls I have left. Which is a very long-winded explanation she didn’t care for, given she looks so cute in her runway. Which is the most Jaida way to explain that she doesn’t care for explanation and just wants some fuel for the final three weeks. Fuel in the form of some Jaida Essence Halloumi.

Yes, this is just a recipe for making cheese. But as you should know, halloumi isn’t just any old cheese. Salty, firm and gloriously squeaky – whether you like it or not – halloumi is the MVP of any meal. And it is even better when freshly made.

Enjoy!

Jaida Essence Halloumi
Serves: 1 person and a delightful icon.

Ingredients
¼ tsp rennet
5L unhomogenised milk
100g salt
clean cheesecloth

Method
Pour 1 cup of boiling water into a bowl and leave to cool before whisking in the rennet.

Meanwhile pop the milk in a pot over low heat and cook, stirring, until it hits 36°C on a candy thermometer and try to keep it at that temperature for as long as possible. Whisk in the rennet mixture for a few seconds before stopping the liquid completely. Cover and leave undisturbed for an hour, or until set. You will want to grab a curd and pull it apart, if it leaves a crack, it’s done. Otherwise leave for another half an hour.

When the curds are nice and set – and the temp is still at 36°C – use a bread knife to dice into 1-2cm cubes. Leave to rest for ten minutes before reheating to 40°C. Line a colander with the cheesecloth and place over a pot. Drain the curds from the whey and wrap the cloth tightly to form a block of curds. Pop a plate on top and place a weight on top before leaving for an hour or so to set.

Transfer the whey into a saucepan that is just a little bigger than the block and bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Stir in 1 tbsp of salt and scoop any solids that form on the top (this is ricotta), then add the block of curds and poached gently until it rises to the top. Then drain.

To brine the cheese, mix the remaining cheese for 1.5L of water in a sterile jar until dissolved. Pop in the cheese and leave in the fridge to brine for a day.

Then, drain, slice and fry. Or whatever you want to do with halloumi.


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Spill the mount-tea

Canada's Drag Race 3, Canada’s Drag Race, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Take a deep breath, fellow queers, because we’re about to hit peak Drag Race season. I mean, but four score and seven years ago, we would have one season a year and a ten month off season. Now? Oh baby, there is no off season.

And. I. Love. It.

And while that isn’t the night the lights went out in Georgia – that lip sync, right? – it is the very long winded way of saying that once again we’re going (true) north (strong and fierce) with Brooke and Co. for another round of Canada’s Drag Race.

Whoever joins Priyanka and Icesis in the winner’s circle, we can rest easy knowing that this season will likely go down as having the best collection of stereotypical drag names in the history of the universe. And sometimes that is enough.

Who will take out the crown? Well, I’m hoping for Irma Gerd. As she has far and away the best bloody name. And for the unlucky first boot, check back next week for the culinary comfort.

Image source: Crave.


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La Briochéesecake Ice Cream

Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls were tasked with starring in a parody of Call My Agent. While France trended closely to Espana – aka showing the entire, lengthy scene – every time Paloma was on screen, she lit it up and stole the show. Which is saying something, given Briochée gave an iconic turn as Marion Cotillard possessed by Edith Piaf. Everyone turned delicate, beautiful looks on the Dites-le avec des fleurs runway which meant that Soa and Lova’s slightly muted acting performances landed them in the bottom, with Soa demolishing the lip sync and sending sweet Lova home.

Backstage the dolls toasted to how kind and lovely Lova was, with Lolita particularly going to miss her. On the flipside, Kam was just glad to see another girl home and was ready to power through the competition. Soa meanwhile was feeling her oats after slaying the lip sync, ready to send other girls home but also not loving the vibe of being in the bottom. Bertha meanwhile was just in her feels to have lost her fellow big girl. The next day the dolls were energised and ready to turn it as the speculated what challenge they’re likely to be up against, with the dolls agreeing they either want to dance or sew. 

Obviously that manifested Nicky, who arrived to put them through their paces in a Mini Challenge where they would have to film a video about making a baguette in teams of two. And while I feel like Nicky was trying to come for my gig, I am willing to look the other way. Because the other way saw the return of the zaddy pit crew and they seem to flood my basement more than any pit crew that has come before them. Soa and Bertha were up first and appeared to be having a ball, making a total mess and being so stupid. Lolita and La Grande Dame saw their stupidity and raised it as Lolita ended up with flour all over her face as Grande Dame’s arms flailed about. La Briochée gave an acting masterclass as Elips created as much chaos as possible before Paloma and Kam literally added tits to their dough. Though obviously victory went to Elips and Briochée.

Nicky then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be throwing a little French Ball, with them first stomping the runway in a Ma France à moi look while the second look would need to be about French Clichés. And well, Elips and Briochée were both feeling confident. Even after Nicky announced they would also be modelling a third dress which they would have to make in a day, ready for the red carpet of the Festival de Cannes. And they would be made out of a minimum of three beach toys. Which obviously filled everyone with dread. Even Elips and Briochée who won a headstart in the ransack for taking out the Mini Challenge, which proved quite a prize since everything soon disappeared once the other dolls got involved.

Everyone split up to go through their haul with Bertha looking to give a Gaultier and Galiano hybrid. Briochée had a detailed plan for an asymmetrical dress. And for everything she couldn’t do, she would go get advice from Elips. Kam and Grande Dame meanwhile were busy kiki-ing about their hometowns, with Kam admitting it was difficult growing up in a small town, while Grande Dame had to leave Nice after experiencing a hate crime. A crime so violent she doesn’t even remember what happened. Which was a story that broke Lolita, Bertha and Soa’s hearts who were all ready to defend her till the ends of the earth.

Nicky dropped by to check on the girls’ progress with the one and only Kiddy Smile to give them advice on stomping the runway. They lived for Bertha though wanted her to not fear being serious, Kam was reminded to walk tall, Elips was perfect, Paloma kinda gave Ramona in RHONY, Briochée was read for looking down, Lolita stripped so was great in my eyes, Soa was perfection from the walk to the attitude, as was Grande Dame. And well, the dolls are ready for their ball.

Nicky then dropped the bomb that Véronique Philipponnat and Chantal Thomass would be joining them on the judges panel before she departed and well, the dolls were now far less ready and far more nervous.

As Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy took the stage with the duo of icons, Paloma kicked off the Sweet France of Mine runway, looking like a caged, camp delight in honour of cheese. Lolita was a netted, locked delight in honour of Paris, Grande Dame gave all the drama in a massive haute couture black widow gown, while Elips went from black widow to glamour pride and it was gorgeous before Briochée served glamour in a blue and pearl gown. Soa was perfection in a tartan and white delight in honour of her mother, Kam sold suited sexy pigeon and well, it was amazing before Bertha closed the category with a glamorous blue jean gown before she straight up flooded herself, the stage and my basement.

When it came to French Cliches, Paloma was stunning as a white suited artiste, Lolita gave the sexiest chartreuse protester known to man, Grande Dame was a white ruffled delight, like if Jerry’s shirt was glamour, before Elips served red wine. Which obviously is a win in my eyes. Briochée gave gingham glam with baguette arms – aka Baguette Bardot – while Soa read all the basic white women of France and well, I live. Though maybe it is because her arse is hot? Kam served sexy maid and then revealed a bodysuit covered in croissants. Which again, is a win in my eyes. Oh and then Bertha gave an accordion gown and well, it was so damn cool. Complete with a light bulb up her arse.

When it came to the designed looks for the Cannes Festival, Paloma was pink perfection. Lolita gave a polished yellow and teal gown looking like The Georgian Hotel in Santa Monica. Grande Dame was stunning in bright blue with red rope detail – a description which doesn’t do it justice – while Elips was suited in lime and black. Briochée was kinda messy, giving more Marilyn impersonator rather than Cannes, while Soa looked more Studio 54 in gold lame. But again, her butt was out. Kam was stunning in a pink and orange stripe as sexy Nemo. While Bertha was stunning in navy, despite the gown being an absolute mess construction wise.

Paloma was praised for being so funny while serving three stunning looks. Lolita was praised for her bold design, they lived for Grande Dame’s commitment to being the fashion queen of the season while Elips was read for her designed look, given there was absolutely no tailoring. Which led to Briochée pointing out that she spent most of her time helping everyone else, which may have contributed. Before Briochée’s designed look was read for absolute filth for having a giant rip on the leg. Soa’s brought looks were praised, though she was read for not giving enough on the third. Kam meanwhile received universal praise for everything she did in each category. From the polish to the concepts, they lived for every damn moment. While Bertha similarly received praise for her bought looks, while her designed look was deemed an absolute mess.

Backstage everyone congratulated Kam on her obvious win, while she pointed out Paloma and Grande Dame were just as good. Soa, Briochée, Elips and Bertha weren’t sure which duo would be lip syncing, with all of them feeling like they had let themselves down and well, I hate to see it. Particularly Elips who looked broken, while her sisters reiterated how grateful they were for all that she did for them this week. 

Obviously it was Kam that took out her first victory of the season before Bertha and Elips were narrowly saved, leaving Sea and Briochée to lip sync for their lives. And once again, Soa was not going down without a fight and absolutely slayed from start to finish. As soon as Pookie by Aya Nakamura kicked off, she pulled all the focus and while Briochée was cute, charming and hitting every lyric, Soa’s fire was just too much to come up against as she once again dominated and saved herself. Tragically felling sweet Briochée.

Backstage Briochée was so kind and upbeat about her elimination, I almost ran into Nicky’s dressing room and screamed at her until she agreed to reinstate the icon into the competition. But alas, I was mature. And instead, I pulled her in for a massive hugged and thanked her for not only sharing her talents with the world, but also for being so open with her story. Given she is a delight, she took it all in stride as we laughed together before smashing a massive bowl of La Briochéesecake Ice Cream.

Just when you thought I was going to zig, I zagged instead. Straight into an epic bowl of deliciousness. This barely tweaked take on the Milkbar classic is so damn delicious. So delicious, in fact, that even a cheesecake hater could be converted.

Enjoy!

La Briochéesecake Ice Cream
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
1 gelatin leaf
240ml milk
45g Lauren Graham Cracker crumbs
25g milk powder
¾ tsp raw caster sugar
¾ tsp kosher salt
15g butter, melted
15ml double cream
½ batch of Liquidita Von Däshcake
1 tbsp sour cream

Method
Pop the gelatin leaf in some water for ten minutes to bloom. While that is getting soft, transfer some of the milk into a saucepan and lightly warm. Drain the excess liquid from the gelatin before adding to the warmed milk and whisk until completely dissolved.

Meanwhile combine the graham crumbs, 5g of the milk powder, raw caster sugar and ¼ tsp salt in a bowl until well combined. Fold through the melted butter and double cream until well combined and small clusters form.

Transfer to a blender with the gelatine milk and remaining milk, the liquid cheesecake, sour cream, remaining milk powder and salt, and blitz until smooth. When you think it is blitzed enough, leave it going for another couple of minutes.

Pour the liquid into an ice cream churn and cook as per instructions before transferring to an airtight container. Pop in the freezer for a couple of hours to set, or just smash straight out of the churn if you want it soft-serve style.


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Three Cheese Calzonét X Change

Main, Pizza, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Winners Jinkx explained she blocked Viv for being on an upward trajectory and hoped to stop her dead in her tracks. She then handed her extra star over to Jaida, while Raja gave the universe balance as she handed hers over to Yvie. For the Maxi Challenge, the dolls performed in a Y2K Girl Groups challenge, with The Viv bringing the drama when Raja, Monet, Shea and Trinity formed their own group and left everyone else to form the other. That is until they came up with a killer, challenge winning concept and absolutely destroyed the performance. After everyone gave their best Dolly on the runway, Viv and Yvie landed in the top two and after turning an epic show, Viv won the lip sync and then promptly blocked Jinkx for the second time.

Backstage Yvie was feeling her oats after going from 0 to 2 stars in the span of an episode and now being a front runner, while Raja kindly pointed out that she is now also first in line to get blocked. Jinkx then came in here lookin’ like that – thanks Monet – and admitted she is feeling a little bit pressed by being blocked for the second time, particularly since she and The Viv were on the same team. The Vivienne rightly explained that she was just as pissed to miss out on her second star – which Jinkx pointed out happened to her and Trinity already – though Jinkx is truly the frontrunner and as such, she is content with her choice. And well, Jinkx admitted she is glad to be leading the way through the competition with another first to her name.

Like an icon.

Things were far more chill the next day, while Monet was feeling disappointed to be away from her home AND gorgeous cat Colleen. She and Shea were also missing being in the top, but well, maybe this week will be their time? Conveniently Ru returned to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be designing a signature look inspired by one of Ru and Zaldy’s eight favourite looks. As the winner of last week’s challenge, The Vivienne was first to pick her look going for the Despy’s Ru, Trinity then picked the Season 8 promo, Monet selected The Facekini look, Shea snatched the Sugar Ball look, Jaida then went with the Divas tribute to Diana Ross before Yvie jagged Supermodel of the World – which Raja desperately wanted – while Jinkx got the Down Under promo look. Meaning poor Raja was stuck with the Born Naked promo look. Which she promised to devour all the same.

Everyone split up to start designing their looks with Trinity confident in her peplum gown choices, while Raja just marvelled at how quickly she can pull together concepts and then execute them. And as such, she tried to make her second guess herself because, sabotage. Like a damn icon. Jaida meanwhile was feeling golden and looking forward to jagging her third star and overtaking Jinkx and Yvie as the sole frontrunner. As Raja was ripping her fabric, she was delighting Shea with the ASMR of it all. And you know, the fire in her butt. Yvie was feeling a little lost, while Jaida spun in circles and got dizzy – for real. Jinkx joked about The Vivienne making a bad choice by blocking her rather than one of the sewers, though was hopeful to improve on her last outfit and finally make something that she would like to wear. And well, she may not get a star but she would love the chance to revenge block The Vivienne. Monet too was unhappy about yet another design challenge, which, relatable.

Ru dropped by to kiki with the girls, talking through their looks with Yvie joking about being born the year Supermodel of the World was released, so was glad she got to jag it. And well, her plan to make massive pants on the way to literally flipping the outfit to become Supermodel of the Underworld is inspired. Just like her sister Willow. Monet admitted she picked her inspo because it was the episode she first lip synced in the competition. Oh and she was going to go the club kid route, complete with hats. And well, this could be interesting. Shea was going to be making a print on the fabric from scratch – wild – while Raja was disappointed to not get her first choice, though she was happy with the one she got and was ready to go full roped, white Mad Max. 

As Ru left, Yvie continued to work on her pants and started to worry about her lack of speed when it comes to sewing. Monet meanwhile was worried about how big her head was, along with her fundamental lack of atelier skills. On the flipside, Jinkx was looking forward to breaking her curse and making something nice. Until she tried to put it on and realised she glued the fabric to the bodysuit at its smallest size and had to start over. But well, Jinkx’s high on glue hysteria was a delight and I could watch this on a loop, TBH. Yvie meanwhile absolutely killed her pants, as Shea looked around and realised that she is far and away the furthest behind the pack. And needed to hurry.

Runway Day arrived with Jinkx feeling good about her designed look, while Trinity was living for Jaida’s design. As The Viv beat her mug, Trinity slid on over to help Shea finish her outfit before jumping over and finishing Monet’s and hot damn, is she the Miss Congeniality? Raja’s look meanwhile was a white delight and she was absolutely living for it and did not give a shit what anyone else thought about it. Which is good, because the Twinners were not vibing with it. Talk then turned to who they think they should block, with Trinity leaning towards Yvie despite Monet more than willing to block Jinkx again. Jaida and Yvie meanwhile knew they had massive targets on their back for a blocking, with Jaida hoping to top two her way to safety. Though given Trinity literally works down to the wire making more and more perfection, she is clearly going to have a fight on her hands.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by the iconic Betsey Johnson on the judging panel as the dolls debuted their legendary Legendary Legends Looks with Yvie looking straight up perfect in her orange pants complete with pink bodice and ALL the ruffles. The Viv served drama in her sexy golden gown, Shea was vintage glamour for a Sunday drive in her pink cheetah look. Trinity served a full on dramatic gown and well, it was stunning and the fact she made that in a day is just wild. Raja was punk perfection, while Jinkx actually delivered a full on gorgeous saloon girl look before Jaida stole the damn show in a golden showgirl, disco look. And well, Monet served a Pollack masked bodysuit. And it was GOOD.

The judges lived for how Yvie managed to distil Ru through her aesthetic and for making such polished pants. And obviously Betsey loved her chaotic vibe. The Vivienne received universal praise for her mug and for adding so many beautiful details to the look. Betsey loved Shea turning Ru’s look rocker and for bringing all the fun to the runway. Before Shea thanked Trinity for helping her finish the outfit. Speaking of Trinity, the judges loved literally every thing she served on the runway this week. And for the fact she made it in the workroom. In a day. Raja’s look was praised for giving something completely different and still looking perfect. Jinkx was rightly praised for serving such a polished look before Jaida far and away stole the judges hearts. From the cut, to the vibe and all the polish, she is far and away their number one this week. And it’s what she deserves. And Monet was also beloved, for being a clash of dumb and beautiful and damn am I proud of her and Jinkx this week!

Backstage everyone was feeling confident in their performance before Raja admitted to shoplifting from Betsey Johnson’s store when she was a kid. Everyone praised Shea’s mug and lived for The Vivienne, before Trinity admitted she wasn’t sure about Raja’s look though admitted the end product took her breath away. Jaida meanwhile praised Trinity for helping all of the girls get their looks over the line, which allowed Trinity to open up about feeling how close they all are and that she just wants everyone to shine. And well, everyone has been helpful throughout the competition. Talk turned to who will be joining Jaida in the top, with everyone thinking it is Trinity’s to lose before Raja wisely asked everyone to talk about their track records. Painting a target on Jaida and Yvie’s back for having multiple stars and no blocks, keeping the heat off herself like a wise doll. Trinity asked what everyone’s strategy is with blocking, with everyone honestly super confused about which way to go.

Jaida turned the conversation to who is everyone’s biggest competition, identifying Trinity, The Viv and Jinkx as the frontrunners, with Trinity countering Jaida and Yvie are now frontrunners and having that late breaking momentum is always a good thing. She then furthered things by pointing out Shea, Monet and Raja have probably been the most consistent competitors however, and honestly could have been the top any week. Talk turned to their most iconic looks in her first season with Trinity living for her Club Kid look AND the fact she couldn’t even blink because she glued her eyes. Jaida loved her Stars and Stripes and Jinkx’s fave was her roast look.

Oh and then Betsey Johnson arrived and admitted she hurt her ankle doing a split on the mainstage and officially joined the Eureka, Victoria, Kornbread club! Proving it is a club for icons only.

Ultimately it was Trinity that joined Jaida in the top and as soon as Jessie J’s I Want Love kicked off, they were both hungry for the outright win. Trinity was sexy and sultry, Jaida was bringing the drama and using every inch of the stage. Trinity started doing flips and splits, but when she literally bit Jaida’s arse, it was clear it was her win. And given she is being the congenial icon of the season, she stuck to her word and blocked the only other eligible 2-star holder, Yvie. Since giving Jinkx her third would be cruel.

Backstage Trinity was thrilled to finally grab a second star and pocket some cash, while Jinkx quickly pointed out that Jaida is the first person to make it to three stars. Which obviously made her remind Trinity and Jinkx that they too should have three too, if blocks weren’t a thing. Speaking of the blockages, Yvie arrived to find out why she got blocked with Trinity explaining that she just couldn’t block Jinkx again and as such, went with the only eligible person with two stars. YOU SEE, I was right. Talk turned to track records, with Monet, Viv and Shea terrified about how they will be able to get into the finals given there are only four more chances to win. While Monet and Shea were just feeling super awks given they started so strong and then kinda faded into the back. Which isn’t true, but I know what they mean.

The next day Raja continued to live her best life while Jinkx was just delightfully on her own planet. Before Monet could get dressed into black or white like the rest of the dolls, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in the new hit movie Santa’s School for Girls. A mashup of Christmas movies, horror and Mean Girls. And since Trinity won, she would be assigning the roles. After Ru left, the dolls split up to read through the script with Trinity trying to play things fairly by giving everyone one of their options. Well, except for when Monet realised Jinkx would kill the role and stole it out from under her to effectively block her from her next star. Because Jinkx’s audition they were forced to do was WAY better than Monet.

Everyone split up to talk through their plans for the characters with Viv keen to go full Joan Crawford, while Raja was looking to tap into her kooky goth vibes and be disinterested, packed full of angst and ugh, I can’t wait to see it. Jaida and Yvie meanwhile were worried about going up against such talented actors, though Jaida did admit she could easily see a path to the finals for herself so doesn’t really care. Trinity braved up to talk to Jinkx and apologise for not giving her the role she wants, but given Jinkx is a damn star, she was ready to kill her dud anyway. And steal all of the spotlights.

The dolls joined Ru and Janicxa Bravo – writer and director of Zola – on set as Ru forced The Vivienne to break because she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Which is always a good sign. Yvie, Jinkx and Trinity bounced off each other well, Monet was charming as hell, Jaida committed to every moment while Raja absolutely devoured the scenery as she relished in the bad girl persona. 

Runway Day arrived with everyone splitting up to act a fool before Shea suggested The Viv should use some new dance moves in the lip sync. Because she slayed and was totally in the top. Raja too was feeling her oats – and maybe pissing on herself – before Trinity reminded everyone that only two people have never been blocked, which obviously made Jaida point out that since she is probs in the top four anyway, why would they continue to block her since nothing will stop her. Which obviously led to everyone arguing all of the arguments to avoid being blocked. Oh and then Shea and Trinity reenacted victims in horror movies, which added nothing but was super fun.

Janicxa stuck around to join Ru, Michelle and Ross on the judges panel as the dolls stomped the Knitty Knitty Bang Bang runway. The Vivienne looked stunning in a plated wool gown which was just so stunning. Shea was bright, covered in rings and a coat and ugh, it was perfect. Yvie gave fiery hippie alien priestess, Jinkx was gorgeous with a golden old Marlene Dietrich inspired gown while Trinity was pretty in purple. Monet was so damn fun in a striped knitted street outfit while Jaida was so damn cute serving full Big Comfy Couch realness. Oh and then Raja stole the show giving golden warrior robot in a knitted gown. When it came to the challenge, having a director that cared in the form of Janicxa made all the difference, as it was high camp, high energy and killer. Though yeah, it was definitely The Viv, Raja and Trinity that stole the show. And Monet when she went full Brenda-in-Scary-Movie.

And the Pit Crew police officers obviously, who were a total swoon.

The judges loved everything the murderous Vivienne served in the scene, giving gravitas and madness in equal measure. And then she demolished the runway to boot. They loved Shea’s African tribal inspired runway and her perfection as the straight queen in the scene. Yvie’s wickedness delighted the judges, as did how great she looked on the runway. Jinkx received universal praise for bringing so much to the smallest role and for looking beautiful and selling the shit out of her runway. They lived for Trinity leaning into stupid in the challenge and being unexpected on the runway. Monet was praised for committing to each and everything she did in the challenge and the runway, giving light and shade of what she can offer. Jaida’s commitment was beloved, as was how perfect she looked on the runway before Raja was absolutely lavished in praise for every minute of every moment she delivered this week.

Backstage the dolls were boiling it up in their knitwear, talking about how uncomfortable doing drag can be. Everyone lived for how great Shea looked bald, while Yvie was grateful that The Viv taught her about this thing called blending. Talk turned to how great Janicxa was in directing the scene, and how much fun they had (and how good things turned out). Trinity pointed out that The Vivienne is definitely in the top after that performance, though was unsure who would be joining her given Monet, Raja and Shea were all so damn good. With Raja admitting that she would love to finally jag another win. They also all praised Jinkx for what she brought to the role she was given, since she really didn’t want it.

Oh and then they spoke about the perks of big and little butts. And the majesty of eating cakes. Which is always important.

Ultimately Raja and The Vivienne landed in the top two, facing off to Super Freak by Rick James. And while The Vivienne was fierce and gave us everything, this was far and away Raja’s show as she gave stupid fun, followed by some ridiculously camp air saxophone that even if Viv didn’t trip, she was jagging that $10k. After taking it victory, Raja then camped it up on the runway, living for every moment as she was drunk with power before she ultimately blocked Jaida. Complete the kiss of death. Which, I would gladly take from Raja, TBH.

As everyone was filling out to return to the work room, I pulled Monet aside and gave her a massive hug and told her to be patient, because she will finally jag another win soon. Because as the girls told her last week, she has been hanging around the top of the pack every week and her one star dinner truly doesn’t reflect how well she has done. With that she perked up and was glad to have her sister around for a brief kiki before smashing a Three Cheese Calzonét X Change and returning to the Werk Room with a fire in her belly. (Pizza curse be damned! Unless calzones don’t count?).

While pizza is all well and good, when given the option to turn one into a calzone, one should always take it. I mean, the outside gets super crispy while the inside delicately steams until it is molten hot and delicious. Particularly with the perfect three cheese blend and dough filled with spicy sausgae, like this.

Enjoy!

Three Cheese Calzonét X Change
Serves: 2 dear friends with healthy booties.

Ingredients
2 cups mozzarella cheese, grated
½ cup ricotta cheese
⅓ cup parmesan cheese, grated
a small handful fresh basil, roughly chopped
2 shallots, sliced
2 balls of dough as per the Pizsa Zsa Gabor recipe
flour, for dustin’
100g salami, sliced
Amber Marinara Sauce, for dippin’

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Combine the mozzarella, ricotta, parmesan, basil and shallots in a bowl. Roll out the balls of dough on a lightly floured surface to form large discs and divide the cheese mixture between them, spreading them on one side of the circle, leaving a couple of centimetres around the edge. Top with salami and mushrooms, spinach and/or olives if you should desire before folding over and pressing the calzones shut, being careful to not leave much air in. Roll the edges to seal and transfer to a lined baking sheet.

Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until browned on the outside. Leave to rest for a couple of minutes before devouring, happily, with some Amber Marinara Sauce for dipping.


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Rolova Ladiva

Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France ten new queens from across France joined the franchise and showed off their skills with a killer little talent show. Though not before competing in the traditional photoshoot with their local zaddy Pit Crew, that is! While the talent show featured much lip syncing and killer dancing, Soa took out the first win of the franchise giving an amazing, moody vocal performance. Meanwhile at the other end of the pack, Lova et La Kahena landed in the bottom for their nerves, with La Kahena earning the distinction of being France’s Porkchop.

Backstage the dolls were in their feelings, heartbroken to have lost sweet La Kahena but also shellshocked by the fact this is going to happen every week until only one of them snatches the crown. The next day they managed to perk it back up however, living out their spy fantasy and just being silly and fun. Everyone congratulated Soa on taking out the win, while Lova assured them that she will not be lip syncing again any time soon. Before the dolls even had time to kiki, Nicky arrived – serving leather daddy dandy, swoon – and put them to the test with a quick drag rock and roll mini challenge alongside some killer drag kings. Though sadly it meant we had to forgo the pit crew. Which, well, is not something I love.

My love Bertha was up first and brought down the house with a two face look and all the attitude, Paloma was gloriously trashy, Brioche stripped off and literally fell to the ground, Lolita was serving Hedwig, Grand Dame was dementedly itchy (and old), Elips was a perfect rock vamp while Soa was just so damn sexy and I live. While Lova was wild and looked perfect, Kam let her freak flag fly and looked to be having the best time. Ultimately there could only be one winner and that rightly was Grande Dame for her stupid old lady performance.

They then learnt that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be acting in the drag parody of Call My Agent, creatively titled Call My Queen. And as the winner of the mini challenge, La Grande Dame would be casting all the roles. Which instantly made Bertha nervous, since she would totally be shady if it was up to her. After reading through the scripts, Grande Dame gave all the dolls the opportunity to put their hand up for the ones they wanted, with everyone thrilled by their roles.

Except for Kam who had to bow out for Briochee to avoid any dramas.

Nicky returned to surprise the girls with a visit from Marianne James who would be directing their scenes. But not before a very sweet peptalk, obviously. On set Grande Dame struggled, trying to add flavour when they just wanted her to be the straight girl. Lova meanwhile gave full melodrama while Paloma was perfection from start to finish. Kam was cute and fun, Bertha got stuck in her head while Elips was an absolute star. As were Briochee and Lolita, who let go and had so much fun. Soa meanwhile was just nervous and unsure how she went.

Jour d’élimination arrived with the dolls talking about how they went with the shoot with Lova confident in her performance, as Paloma strongly disagreed and straight up worried for her elimination. As they split up to beat their mugs, Kam and Paloma bonded over the fact they didn’t really need to come out given everyone in their life already expected it. This led to everyone sharing their experiences coming out, with Briochee going through both of hers and how grateful she is that everyone loves her no matter what. 

Nicky, Daphné Bürki and Kiddy Smile were joined by Marianne James on the judges panel as the dolls stomped the Dites-le de flores runway. Soa was up first giving a punk delight complete with a bird of paradise mohawk. Kam gave full blue hydrangea, not to be confused with THE Blu Hydrangea. Bertha was a star in a black widow gown with a reveal memorial wreath on her back. Elips was an alien flower garden, Briochee was breathtaking as a Piranha Plant from Super Mario and Lolita was glorious in a Frida Kahlo inspired gown. Paloma meanwhile was a red and purple thorned delight, Lova was a wood nymph crossed with a bride of Christ while Grande Dame was an architectural delight, complete with flowers all over her face. 

When it came to the scene, it was clear that Paloma is a star, stealing the show from her very first moment while Kam was very, very fun and Elips was perfection as the mime. On the flipside, Lova felt like she was in a different scene, while Bertha was kinda just there and Soa was at an 11 from start to finish. And while I lived, I feel like the judges won’t. Oh and Lolita was delightful as France’s answer to Shangela, and I live.

Lolita, Soa, Grande Dame, Bertha, Paloma and Lova were deemed the tops and bottoms of the week, with Kam, Elips and Briochee sent backstage to untuck. Soa’s outfit was read for not being as polished as other girls and they were disappointed as they expected more from her in the challenge. Bertha meanwhile was read for being too simple – and wearing ugly shoes – despite the fact she was strong in the scene. Lolita received universal praise for her showstopping runway and being an absolute delight in the scene. As too did Paloma, for giving such a gorgeously polished look and for giving an acting masterclass in the challenge. Lova meanwhile was read for not giving enough flower and for just being there in the challenge. And while Grande Dame struggled in the shoot, she ended up doing well and ultimately landed in the top because her look was absolute perfection.

Backstage the dolls weren’t sure who would be in the bottom alongside Lova before the critiqued girls dropped by to spill the tea. Everyone agreed they couldn’t tell who would be the winner out of Paloma and Lolita, while they couldn’t even tell who was in the top with them between Grande Dame and Big Bertha, given both got mixed critiques.

Ultimately Grande Dame was sent to safety before Paloma took out her first win, tragically making Lolita only safe. At the other end of the pack, Big Bertha narrowly avoided the lip sync as last week’s champ Soa faced off against Lova to L5’s Toutes les femmes de ta vie. And well, let’s just say Soa was not happy about it as she channelled all her rage into a killer performance. She was giving all the attitude, hitting every lyric and was full of fire. Not to mention, she was silly and fun and as such, she lived to fight another day, while Lova was eliminated.

Backstage Lova was disappointed to have had to lip sync both of her episodes of the franchise, but I reminded her that at least she got to shine both times. Plus, it is always better to be the second boot than the second boot with an iconic exit that is brought back, makes it to the end and makes people wish she had a robbed goddess arc. Not naming any names, though. With that, she perked right up and gladly joined me in smashing a batch of my homemade Rolova Ladiva.

Smooth chocolate surrounding a gloriously salted caramel centre, rolos are a truly underrated chocolate. Or maybe they aren’t. Who knows? All I know is that these are goooood. And given they are small, you can feel like a waif.

Enjoy!

Rolova Ladiva
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
150g chocolate
100g Kerri Columbines
1 tbsp cream

Method
Melt the chocolate in a double boiler until smooth and glossy before removing and spooning into a silicone chocolate or candy mould. Using a small spoon or skewer, brush the chocolate up the edges to completely coat each cavity. Transfer to the fridge to chill for half an hour.

Back in the (now cleaned) double boiler, combine the Kerri Columbines and cream and cook stirring, until smooth and combined. Remove the chocolate mould from the fridge and spoon the caramel into each cavity, followed by additional melted chocolate for the base. Return to the fridge to set for about an hour.

Remove the mould from the fridge and gently free the chocolates before devouring, greedily.


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