Vegetarian

Ang Leek and Asparagus Tarts

Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVI: Gold Interrupted

I am almost overwhelmed when it comes to talking about my beautiful, breathtaking and languid friendship with the gorgeous Ang Lee. He has brought me so much joy over the years – adapting books I love, casting men I love and having them flash their buns, which I love.

Ang Lee is both a pimp for my love of celluloid flesh and a saint, which is a stunning combination.

I first connected with the celebrated director while attending the Provincial Tainan First Senior High School where his father, our principal, made him act as my mentor to curb my shameful, wayward behaviour.

Ang was such a kind, gentle soul and I desperately wanted to avoid disappointing him, however me being me, I rubbed off on him and he failed his final exams and couldn’t progress to being a professor. Thankfully it led him to eventually being a director so, in a roundabout way, I am responsible for his lush films and lauded career.

You’re welcome.

We lost contact after his mandatory military service however reconnected through Em Thomp – my closest boozing bud – while he was making Sense and Sensibility and I became his most trusted advisor, leading to Bana buns in Hulk and Brokeback Mountain.

While it was very hard to be overlooked for the role of Ennis opposite J-Gyll, Ang was kind enough to introduce us on set – he hired me as the resident flannel expert – and we enjoyed a torrid love affair that I ran to the paps about, thus starting all of the Jake gay rumours.

No one was better to discuss this year’s Best Director crop than the two-time winner, so I whipped up my Ang Leek and Asparagus Tarts to fuel our moving discussion about the possibility of our dear friend George Miller finally getting recognised for his work after such a majestically eclectic filmography.

Dark horse pick goes to Adam McKay. I mean, he was robbed for the Anchorman movies.

 

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While asparagus pee is both a blessing (I’m special) and a curse (it is rank), these tarts are well worth it. The sweetness of the leek with the sharp goat’s cheese and earthy asparagus create a delicate little tart that packs as much of a punch as one of Ang’s films.

Enjoy!

 

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Ang Leek and Asparagus Tarts
Makes: 18.

Ingredients
2 sheets puff pastry, thawed
1 tablespoon butter
2 leeks, finely sliced
1 bunch asparagus
Sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper
3 eggs, lightly beaten
300ml cream
150g goat’s cheese

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Melt butter over low heat and saute the leeks until soft, and place into a large mixing bowl.

Trim the ends of the asparagus and cut into 5cm pieces and fry for two minutes on high heat in the same pan, until bright and just cooked. Add asparagus to the leeks and allow to cool.

Once cooled, add in the eggs and cream, season and stir to combine.

Place the puff pastry on a clean surface and cut both into a 3×3 grid, so that each sheet make nine squares. Roughly press each square of pastry into a muffin tin, to create a rustic looking case – I am too lazy to worry about it looking “nice,” as is Ang.

Pour the vegetable/custard mixture even amongst the 18 cases and crumble the goats cheese on top.

Whack in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or until set and golden. Remove from the oven and rest for about 20 minutes before inhaling.

Devour in a poignant fashion.

 

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Roast Pumpkim Kardashian-West

Keeping it Kardashian Khristmas, Side

Despite what you may think, she is not so dim, our Kim.

After being taken in by Kris in the late 80s to work on our ponzi schemes, we formed a quick bond with our surrogate big sister Kim.

As evidenced by her exceptional, down-to-earth parenting and the beautiful way she is with her nieces and nephews, Kim has always had a knack with children and she immediately took us under her wing when we landed in Calabasas.

Our shared ambition to be famous led us down the very determined path, befriending the Hilton-Richards’ and then using that to parlay our notoriety into fame by filming sex-tapes. While it worked for Paris and Kim, ours failed to set the tabloids ablaze and Annelie and I launched a vicious media attack against Kim to punish her.

Knowing that we were only lashing out, out of jealousy, Kimmy never held our petulant behaviour against us and continued to only abuse us in the manner that should would her family.

Given that lil’ Sainty was just born (and wanting to TP her house again), we decided to charter/”borrow” one of Kanye’s jets and bring the festive spirit to her. As she had just had Sainty, we were delivered a strict 958 page dossier on what would could and could not feed her, resulting in our Roast PumpKim Kardashian-West.

 

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There is something so comforting and fulfilling about roasted pumpkin; how it caramelises and gives way to an earthy sweetness is something so life affirming. That being said, I don’t have much going on so you may not find that.

Add in some cheese, the freshness of the mint and the tart pomegranate seeds and you will have a religious experience worthy of a saint … or his mother.

Enjoy!

 

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Roast Pumpkim Kardashian-West
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
Small kent pumpkin, sliced into wedges, skin on
½ tsp cumin, ground
½ tsp chilli, ground
Salt and pepper, to season
Olive Oil
Pomegranate, seeds smacked out
200g feta, roughly crumbled
Handful of mint, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Arrange pumpkin slices on a large baking sheet and rub with spices, salt and pepper and olive oil.

Bake in the oven for 20-30 minutes, or until golden and tender. I t will depend on how large the pieces are.

Once the pumpkin is done, arrange it on your serving plate and sprinkle, generously, with pomegranate seeds, feta and mint.

Devour.

Fun fact: this is literally made from all of the ingredients left in the do list of Kimmy’s dossier.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Kimmi Kappenbergers

Main, Party Food, Snack, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance

Dear, sweet, chicken protecting, clam eating Kimmi – so close, yet so far. After close to fifteen years on the bench, the original KK made her way back to the island but was undone by the greatest tribal council of all time featuring double idols, nullified votes, tied votes and our ex-lover Keith willing to quit for super K to make it one step further.

But alas, our dear friend Kim went to Ponderosa. Fun fact, while dear Varner couldn’t follow through, Kimmi stuck to the hallowed tradition of having an Australian Outback contestant make the finale of their returning season.

As you know, we hitched a ride on the Survivor: The Australian Outback pre-jury vacay and bonded with Kimmi over our love for public nudity and penchant for getting into loud, violent public screaming matches.

Kimmi played a low-key game as the start of Second Chances, working hard and building relationships and came to a Ciera-esque realisation that she was playing for fourth too late resulting in the aforementioned tribal council majesty.

Wanting to avoid starting any Ponderosa brawls and upsetting Kumbaya Kass, we kept away from clams and made our famous, Kimmi Kappenbergers as congratulations for a job well done.

 

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Not wanting to harm any chickens (or face Monnie’s wrath when we next saw her), we piled our burgers with haloumi and mushrooms, aka the two greatest vegetarian ingredients – Kimmi earned it!

Enjoy!

 

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Kimmi Kappenbergers
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
250g haloumi
2 large mushrooms
2 brown onions
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
olive oil
2 burger buns
pickled roasted peppers, to serve
rocket, to serve

Method
Slice haloumi into 5mm slabs, remove the stalks from the mushrooms and finely slice the onions.

Heat a lug of oil in a frypan over low heat and add the onions and a pinch of salt. Cook very slowly for 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent them from sticking to the pan.

When onions are softened, add sugar and balsamic. Cook over low heat for a further 5-10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until sticky and caramelised. Leave aside.

Heat a second fry pan over medium heat, add a lug of oil and cook haloumi for about 2 minutes, flip just once and cooking for a further 2 minutes. Remove the haloumi from the heat.

In the same pan, fry the mushroom open side up for about 5 minutes, again flip just once and cook for a further 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and wipe pan clean – carefully to avoid burning yourself, obviously. Slice your buns and fry for a minute or two to lightly toast.

To build the burger, place some caramelised onion on the base, followed by rocket, the haloumi, then the mushroom, then (if you want) more onions or rocket and top with some pickled roasted peppers.

Devour and share with your favourite chickens!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Nicki Spinaj and Cheese Triangles

Main, Party Food, Side, Snack

Like us, our close friend Nicki was always destined for fame and I would argue, that is what first drew us together at the anger management facility.

While we have a strong friendship with Nickers’, based on trust, respect and non-physical rage, there have been notable feuds in our past. I mean, who can tolerate Sophia-Grace and Woesie. Eye-roll emoji.

Despite questionable taste in hangers-on like them, I guess we are proof that sometimes they can turn out alright, and knowing that, always helps bring us back together.

After leaving the facility – thanks to Nickers’ glowing recommendation – we convinced her that her talents were wasted helping people and that she needed to do something truly meaningful like rapping and feuding with Mariah.

(The only good thing Mariah can do is a Christmas album, let’s be honest).

Nek minute, Nicki was flying high like a starship and became a global sensation with us by her side to help her scheme, feud and throw some glorious side eye. Fun fact, the what’s good phrase is Annelie’s go to throwdown line if I eat the last piece of cake.

Such a spicy, exciting bond can only be summed up by one thing – our Nicki Spinaj and Cheese triangles.

 

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Cheese is literally the best thing to ever happen to the planet (aside from us and wine) and well, any receptacle that helps get hot, gooey cheese from a plate to my mouth is a win. Throw in the freshness of spinach and dill and you’ve got a heavenly, creamy-sharp orgy happening in your mouth.

Enjoy!

 

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Nicki Spinaj and Cheese Triangles
Makes: 24.

Ingredients
375g frozen spinach, thawed
125g Greek feta, crumbled
125g ricotta, crumbled
1 tablespoon dill, chopped
2 eggs, lightly beaten
salt and pepper, to taste
375g pack filo pastry
oil, for brushing

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Drain all of liquid from the spinach and mix in a medium bowl with the feta, ricotta, dill, eggs, salt and pepper, until combined.

Brush oil between three layers of pastry and place on top of each other. Cut pastry into three long strips.

Place about a tablespoon of the mixture in a corner of each strip. Fold diagonally to form a triangle and then repeat with remaining filo and spinach mixture until all used up.

Place parcels (join-side down) on a baking tray and brush with oil, and bake for 15 to 18 minutes until crisp.

Serve with sweet chili, a spicy tomato sauce or aioli. Or by themselves.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Kevin SwissChardson

Backstreet's back give thanks!, Side

Second only to our love of reality TV is our love of all things Disney. It is a little known secret that Ben and I actually first met Kevin Richardson working at Disney World.

You see, Kevin was a character actor at the esteemed Walt Disney World (before they banned facial hair). And he was not just any character, he was Aladdin AND also appeared as several of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. As you would know, Ben and I had previously failed to secure roles in the Lifetime straight to TV Turtles movie, with our nemesis Woo Hwang stealing the roles from under our noses.

In order to secure the coveted character parts, I was working on a machine that would ensure Kevin met a somewhat un-glamorous end. Meanwhile, Ben was moonlighting as the Little Mermaid in an attempt to get closer to Kevin and lure him into our creepy, dark and terrifying contraption. Kevin eventually took the bait, but instead of smashing his beautiful face into a million pieces he had a fantastic time. Yes – the ride now known as space mountain began as a covert mission to nix Kevsy Richardson.

Anyways, once Kevsy had experienced the thrill of space mountain, he was set on a path of enlightment and purpose. He was recruited into the Backstreet Boys shortly thereafter.

 

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For Thanksgiving, we wanted to transport Kevs back to his days as a caped green crusader. While it isn’t a pepperoni pizza, the Kevin SwissChardson is a verdant tribute to our mutual love of TMNT.

 

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Kevin SwissChardson
Serves: 4

Ingredients
1 large bunch swiss chard
2 tablespoons salted butter
4 tablespoons slivered almonds

Method
Using a sharp knife, carefully remove the stems of the chard and discard

Heat a frypan over medium heat and add butter. Once melted, add the chard and gently saute until just wilted and tender.

Mix through almonds and serve.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Amy Poehlenta Chips

Party Food, Side, Snack, Treat Yo' Self Week

While she may have never participated in the joy and wonder of treat yo’ self day on screen (I would argue Leslie felt her life was a treat anyway), we could look no further than Parks star, Emmy Award snubee, victim of our stalking (rewritten thanks to time travel) and co-best person in the world, Amy Poehler, to finish off Treat Yo’ Self Week.

We have documented our long struggles with trying to secure Ames’ friendship; when stalking / catfishing as Hollywood heavyweight Anneljamin Juddailes via Adam Scott didn’t work, we opted to rewrite history and join her BFF (now one of her BFFs) Teens at the Delaware County Summer Showtime.

After connecting with Ames via Teens at Second City (our nefarious plot worked), we immediately became best friends and have been living the good life with the Queens of Comedy ever since! Oh, you can bet your bottom dollar that we were heavily involved in the successful reshaping of Leslie Knope, all of Amy’s Award Show gags and generally controlling her life like a Momager – she is Kim to our Kris!

While Amy was present for our ugliness with Lorne Michaels and the subsequent lifetime ban at 30 Rock, she was kind enough to base Parks out of L.A. so we could still be involved in her life and members of her entourage. Who else is going to beat the shit out of Edie “Mrs. Soprano” Falco when she crosses her? Exactly.

Ames’ is on a break from filming and between press circuits for the world’s saddest, most soul crushing movie Inside Out and the upcoming Oscar winning, box-office breaking hit Sisters so dropped by to relax and treat herself to our glorious Amy Poehlenta Chips.

 

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Between the sharp cheese, the whack of herbs and the hint of chilli, I have nothing to say other than the fact these are just as glorious as their namesake – love you Ames!

Amy Poehlenta Chip? Treat yo’ self. Treat yo’ self, indeed!

 

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Amy Poehlenta Chips
Serves: 6

Ingredients
2 cups chicken stock
1 cup instant polenta
1 cup parmesan, grated
25g butter
½ cup rosemary leaves, chopped
sea salt and cracked black pepper
200g ricotta
2 tbsp chilli flakes
olive oil
1 tbsp sea salt flakes
1 tbsp sage, chopped

Method
Place the stock in a large saucepan and bring to the boil over medium heat.

Reduce heat to low and while whisking, gradually add the polenta – continuing for a couple of minutes before removing from the heat.

Throw in the parmesan, butter, rosemary and season with salt and pepper, generously with the pepper, and give a good stir. Cover with cling and leave to cool for 15-20 minutes.

Once cooled, fold through the ricotta and place the cheesy, polenta-y goodness in a lined small (20cm-ish) square cake tin and refrigerate until set, about six hours.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Remove the baking paper, and obviously the polenta with it, and slice into 2cm square matchsticks. Layer the chips on a lined baking sheet, drizzled with olive oil and bake for 50-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

While the chips are baking, combine the sage and salt. When the chips are done, allow the cool for 5 minutes before coating in the sage salt and devouring. Preferably with some Coolaioli.

You know Amy would like that.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Fiona Apple Pie

Americana Week, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Annelie and I love Chipotle – nearly as much as In-n-Out Burger, definitely more than Five Guys. So when Chipotle contacted us to find a suitable set of pipes for their advertisement on YVAN EHT NIOJ factory farming, we gravitated toward our old friend Fiona Apple. Despite our deep-seated love for meat and Fiona’s passionate veganism, we were united by the most important of causes – Chipotle’s commercial success. I suppose animal rights were somewhat important too.

As you can imagine, our history with Fiona is checkered and colourful. In the mid 1990’s Annelie was busy trying to convince David Blaine he was her biological father in the hope he would write her into his will, as it would only be a matter of time that one of his stunts went horribly wrong. Fiona, Annelie’s stepmother-to-be, didn’t want to split the inevitable fortune and instead indoctrinated Annelie and Ben into her pagan religion, Wicca-ty Wak.

Despite the odd human sacrifice, the maintenance of Fiona’s gigantic gemstone collection and the excessive daisy chain making, life in Wicca-ty Wak wasn’t all bad. In 1999, Annelie and Ben were chosen to title Fiona’s upcoming studio album as a thank you for their devotion to Wicca-ty Wak. Logically,  they went with When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might so When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You’ll Know That You’re Right with Ben and Annelie as your friends as they are the greatest human beings of all time.

For some reason, Fiona exhiled us from Wicca-ty Wak shortly thereafter. She also chose to break up with David Blaine just as he was planning another potentially-life-ending stunt thus confirming her insanity.

Fiona has just released a new album and is keen to catch up with her old friends, no doubt due to our A-lister status. What can we make that will bring her back down to earth and realise that we are the true success story in this friendship? A good old slice of humble pie perhaps.

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The Fiona Apple pie is like an edible hug. The filling is sweet yet tart and spicy, and is enclosed in perfectly flaky, buttery pastry.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

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Fiona Apple Pie
Serves: 8

Ingredients
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
230g cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces
1/4 to 1/2 cup ice water

Filling
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup golden syrup
20g butter
1/3 cup plain flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
10 medium granny smith apples, peeled, sliced
2 tsp caster sugar
1 egg, lightly beaten

Method
In a large bowl, combine flour, salt, and sugar. Add butter and rub into the dry ingredients between your fingertips until the mixture resembles wet sand.

Sprinkle with 1/4 cup ice water and mix together with your hands until it holds together when squeezed with fingers (if necessary, add up to 1/4 cup more water, 1 tablespoon at a time). To help ensure a flaky crust, do not go overboard.

Transfer half of dough onto a piece of plastic wrap. Form dough into a disk 3/4 inch thick and wrap tightly in plastic. Refrigerate until firm, about an hour. Repeat with remaining dough to make two disks.

Meanwhile, place brown sugar, syrup and butter in a large saucepan. Stir on low until melted and smooth. Simmer for 2 mins. Place flour and spices in a large bowl. Add apple, toss to coat. Add to syrup. Stir to coat. Simmer for 20 mins stirring occasionally until apples are just tender.

Preheat oven to 180°C or 160°C fan. Roll out one of the disks between two sheets of baking paper until roughly 5mm thick, place in pie dish and trim edges. Line shell with baking paper, fill with baking weights and blind bake for 15 mins. Remove weights and baking paper and bake for a further 5 mins.

Spoon apple mixture into the pastry shell.

Roll out remaining disk of pastry an cut into 1-1.5cm strips. Carefully place strips in parallel lines about 1-1.5cm apart. Now it get tricky. Fold every second strip of pastry half-way down and lay a strip of pastry across the pie, perpendicular to the other strips.

Unfold the folded strips, fold back the other strips and lay a another strip of pastry to form a lattice. Confused? Same. Just go here and follow this process as it is what I follow!

Trim the strips and join to the edge of the pie (this can be difficult following the blind baking so you can skip that step, but I’m always too scared it will be soggy so deal with the lattice coming off here and there). Brush pastry lightly with beaten egg and sprinkle over caster sugar. Bake for 30-40 mins until golden and crisp.

Serve pie with ice cream or cream or whatever, really. Ice cream while it is still warm is amazing though.

Salsa Struthers

Dip, Sauce, Side

I know what you’re thinking, “didn’t they just post a recipe two days ago?”

Yes, that is true but having so many friends wanting to catch-up means we have to find new ways to burn through the list and keep people happy. Popularity can truly be a curse sometimes!

Sally Struthers has been emailing us for the last few months asking for help in fixing one of her past culinary disasters at a cast party for Gilmore Girls. Since we were eventually, and tragically, blacklisted from the set by ASP after our failed triplets storyline, Sally convinced us that going back in time would help rectify her shame and stop us from pitching the storyline.

We have known Sally for a long time, working as her PAs / chariots around the set of All In The Family (which is where we first met Bea) and remained friends throughout her career and travelled with her to Africa for philanthropic work. She even convinced ABC to create the character of Baby Sinclair as an ode to young Annelie!

While we still pitched the storyline (and stand by its brilliance) and got ourselves banned, we did help Sally shine with a simple and delicious Salsa Struthers for the party.

It was so great catching up with our 00s friends and getting to re-live the joy of being on the Gilmore Girls set … and we used the opportunity to make bets with the cast about future shows that would film on the Stars Hollow lot (we made a killing off the Hart of Dixie “prediction”).

 

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While most people associate those thick, rich jarred sauces as salsa, the only truly glorious salsa is made with nice ripe tomatoes and is generously seasoned with a kick of lime.

Sally is now a believer – enjoy!

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

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Salsa Struthers
Makes: 1(ish) cup.

Ingredients
2 tomatoes, roughly chopped
Juice of ½ lime
1 shallot, finely sliced
1 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped
1 tbsp pickled jalapeño, roughly chopped

Method
Mix the tomatoes with the lime juice, shallot, coriander and jalapeño, then season carefully to taste.

Peanut Sesamia Farrow Noodles

Main

While we’ve had a lot of ups-and-downs in our relationship with 90% of HollywoodMia, she has always treated us with such warmth and empathy. That includes the time we viciously sold stories of her to the tabloids about how she was only adopting her children to complete a real-life recreation of the Von Trapps (to make up for her missing out on Leisel).

Oh, and the story about her having affairs with both Tom and Seth Green. How she forgave that, I’ll never know?

Despite our tumultuous past, Mia always likes to drop-by when she is the country (her father was Australian) and see how we are going … and make sure we haven’t spiralled out of control.

Mia made a special trip on her way back from some humanitarian, charity-ish, kinda thing (she is constantly doing that shit, it is hard to keep up/pay attention), to congratulate us on our soon to be celebrated/posted 50th recipe!

(I assume she wanted to force her way onto the site as the 49th recipe but after all the drama we have caused in the past, it is the least we can do).

Despite her motives, it was such a delight catching up with Mia, reminiscing over our mutual love for Bruce Dern, Edward Herrmann and Frank Sinatra (he fathered one of my children and two of Annelie’s) and obviously, our hatred for the detestable (slash our old friend) Patsy Kensit over a spicy bowl of Peanut Sesamia Farrow Noodles.

 

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Like Mia, the noodles are soft, spicy and a little bit cray in a really good way.

More importantly, now that we’ve been reminded, how can we best honour our (future Pulitzer-winning work) 50th recipe? More importantly, who would we want to celebrate onwith?

 

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Peanut Sesamia Farrow Noodles
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp sesame oil, plus extra for frying
1 tbsp garlic infused olive oil
1 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp sweet chilli sauce
2 tbsp hot sauce
100g crunchy peanut butter
2 tbsp lime juice
150g snow peas, rinsed and chopped in half
150g beansprouts, rinsed
1 red capsicum, deseeded and cut into thin strips
4 shallots, finely sliced
200g mushrooms, finely sliced
550g egg noodles
20g sesame seeds , plus extra to garnish
finely chopped fresh coriander, to garnish

Method
Whisk together the oils, sauces, peanut butter and lime juice in a jug, place aside.

Place egg noodles in a bowl of freshly boiled water and leave for five minutes. Drain and place aside.

Heat extra sesame oil in a large fry-pan/wok until hot and quickly stir-fry vegetables until vibrant yet crisp (a couple of minutes at the absolute max). Remove from heat, stir through liquid, sesame seeds and noodles.

Return to heat for a minute, if required. If not, serve and garnish with extra sesame seeds and coriander.

Cobert Downey Jr.

Party Food, Snack

While they are always a horrible choice, some people pull off coloured-lensed glasses, like RDJ, and some people don’t (we’re looking at you Bono). We tried to convince Bobs (we also call RDJ, Bobs) of this fact during our shared 90s rehab stint, but his look sold it to us.

Over the years we have acted as Bobs’ closest confidantes and despite some disagreements (we advised that he never work with Katie Holmes…on the advice of our friend, her daughter Suri), the friendship has been emotionally and professionally fulfilling.

Yes, we wanted him to fulfil us sexually…but that just seems to be how it goes with our friends, so it has never been an issue.

Bobs dropped over between the Australian and US release of Avengers 2: Age of Hard-On (it was definitely title and if not, I had one for Cap anyway), to discuss his work and provide him with crucial advice for the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I reiterate, he really values our opinion.

For one of the highest earning actors, RDJ is so humble, kind and was terrified we would give him a bad review (the movie was magnificent, FYI) and cast him aside (it would never happen).

To celebrate his cinematic triumph and the fact we finally convinced him to push Marvel to sign us as we-can’t-tell-yet superheroes (it is in Phase 4), we whipped up a quick Cobert Downey Jr and discussed our enduringly loving friendship.

 

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You could never say a negative word about cob dip, nor you could put anything wrong inside a cob (well you can, but that is another arrest for another time). While I opted for the (comparatively) lighter spinach and vegie dip, nothing quite says Bunheads marathon like a cheesy bacon option.

Enjoy!

 

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Cobert Downey Jr
Serves: 4-8 if you’re social, 2 if you’re watching Netflix and 1 if you’re watching Netflix and emotional.

Ingredients
1 packet frozen chopped spinach, drained
300ml tub sour cream
250g cream cheese
1 packet spring vegetable soup
2 cob loaves

Method
Pre-heat oven to 180°C.

Cut one of the cobs up into 1 inch dice and lay out flat on a large baking sheet. Cut the top off the second cob loaf, dicing it into large chunks and hollow out cob, ripping it into large-ish chunks. Lay both sets of the aforementioned chunks and the empty cob on a second baking sheet.

Put both baking sheets into the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until golden.

Meanwhile, mash cream cheese in a large bowl, and mix through sour cream, soup mix and spinach.

When cob is out of the oven, decant the dip into the hollowed cob and place on a serving dish. Whack the chunks of bread in a bowl, on a plate…where ever really. Then devour.