Jaida Essence Halloumi

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls created an immersive experience for fans that promotes everything we love about the ever-expanding franchise, Drag Race World. While Scarlet was quickly able to identify this one as a branding challenge, and given she has a marketing degree, took control and absolutely slayed the game. Tia meanwhile tried desperately to keep Keta and Marina on task, in their group and while she was able to join Scarlet in the top, Keta was too much of a mess and landed in the bottom. With Jonbers, who was just flat as not a joke landed, while LGD and Hannah shone. In deliberations, Keta offered Tia some massages, while Jonbers worried that Scarlet was intimidated by her killer looks. Which may have been proven, as after Scarlet won the lip sync, she promptly booted Jonbers.

Backstage Scarlet was thrilled to finally grab her first solo win over the course of her three seasons, particularly since she felt sending a UK doll home was iconic. She felt her oats while cleaning the mirror, as Choriza felt that sending an icon like Jonbers home meant that the contest is really on. Keta thanked Scarlet for saving her, with Scarlet explaining her top performance in the ball is what tipped her over the edge, given she would like others to base decisions on her track record. Tia then tried to do a fake-out, pretending that she voted for Keta, before admitting that she too would have sent Jonbers home given she literally was just in the top two and has been slaying. Also, as she told us, eliminating one of the UK dolls means the target on her, Choriza and Gothy, is that much smaller with Jonbers gone.

The next day the mood was honestly full party mode as the dolls conga-ed into another week, while Marina just modelled, given she is an icon. The three victors showed off their badges as Hannah joked about being the queen of the safe club and as such, was grateful her target wasn’t so large. Ru then dropped by and quickly announced that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. Family Edition. Which obviously filled Tia with dread, given it is the challenge she went home. And as the winner of last week’s challenge, Scarlet had the power to select her family.

Everyone sat down to talk through the challenge, with Hannah, LGD and Keta proudly being past winners, while Choriza and Tia were terrified, given it was the challenge they went home on. Marina was happy with her OG performance, which is iconic to those in the Philippines, while Gothy and Scarlet were about to lose their Snatch Game virginity, and were equal parts nervous and excited. With that out of the way, Scarlet picked her family, going with Hannah, Choriza and Tia. Leaving the three ESL queens together, and Gothy, who is super shy, which feels shady. Which I love and hate. The families split up, with Scarlet announcing she will be making her debut as the Statue of Liberty, Tia was going with Anne Boleyn, while Choriza was going to be Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Before we could learn who Hannah was doing, Ru dropped by to kiki, laughing at Tia finally jagging a win before she announced she will be Anne Boleyn, which delighted Ru. As Tia vowed to smash it out of the park. LGD was going with Carla Bruni, which made Ru nervous, as the double French accent was becoming hard to understand. Marina is following Melinda Verga’s footsteps with some Manny Pacquiao, while Ru was equally delighted by Choriza’s choice to play Catherine of Aragon. Which is good that she is Spanish, because her English accent isn’t great. Though better than Marina’s TBH, but damn they are charming. Keta will be bringing Fran Drescher, while Hannah is following in Jimbo’s footsteps as Shirley Temple. But make it Megan the doll. Side note: both of these repeats were filmed BEFORE the others aired, so these are not copycats, ok? Ru was delighted by Scarlet’s choice of Statue of Liberty and a little nervous for Gothy giving Kim Woodburn. And ugh, her nerves are going to get to her and I hate it.

We ventured to the Snatch Game: Family Edition set as Team Scarlet were led by Sinitta, while the rest were led by guest Jane McDonald. Team McDonald all stuck with their OG choices, with LGD cute, Keta started off strong, but lacked the jokes while Marina, like Melinda, was an icon as Manny. And poor Gothy just straight up bombed. Team Sinitta also stuck with their plans where Hannah was demented – though not as demented as Jimbo, obvi – Scarlet was iconic, Choriza was glorious and Tia stole the show holding her own head in her hands. Tragically the international girls all really struggled competing in their second language, though thankfully Marina did land a few killer blows. Scarlet was a powerhouse and Choriza filthy, though it was Tia and Hannah who really owned Snatch Game, hopefully leaving us with another two-time victor and some much needed rudemption.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls in varying moods as Hannah was feeling her oats, Scarlet was thrilled to do a good job on her first go, while Gothy knew she bombed and felt she did worse than she even thought possible. Keta too, knew she bombed, while LGD knew their family were far and away the shittest. Knowing they need to do a good job, the dolls split up to get ready for their runways to hopefully save them. Talk turned to the dating scenes in their respective countries, with LGD opening up about being a romantic, though looking forward to being a little looser too. Marina admitted that she is perennially single, given there is too much beauty. Hannah joked about importing her favourite d, her Geordie boyfriend. While Scarlet and Gothy just desperately wanted to have a loving drag husband. Gothy opened up about not knowing who she is and how can’t love someone else until she figures it out and ugh, Gothy is just such a sweet, tragic figure in the franchise. Isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by knitting king Tom Daley as the dolls stomped the runway in Gone Cruisin’ looks. Keta gave patchwork pirate and ugh, she looked so stunning I mean, she even had an anchor nipple ring. Choriza was gorgeous in a blue and white latex mini with tentacles, LGD gave high fashion genuine sailor stripes in Gaultier, while Scarlet gave first class victim of the Titanic and Gothy gave baby Birth of Venus in the cutest way possible. Hannah gave Picnic at Hanging Rock on the ocean, but made it nightgown, Tia gave Ozempic Ursula – aka Karen the Kraken – and Marina closed the show with water heels and titties as a straight up sexy boat. And yeah, it was another slay.

Choriza and Marina were sent to safety before Keta was read for only just giving a laugh, and lacking the energy and fun of Fran. Which was tragically all there in her runway, which was excellence upon excellence. Tia meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being stupid and smart in equal measure as Anne Boleyn, and they also loved the runway, despite its simplicity. They wished LGD gave more and had fun, though obviously lived for her straight up perfect runway. Scarlet was praised for doing a solid job and looking perfect as Rose without her door from Titanic. Poor Gothy was read for just giving nothing in Snatch Game, and being too simple on the runway. While Hannah received wall to wall praise for being dumb and manic, and looking stunning.

Ultimately Tia and Hannah were deemed the top two of the week, and Scarlet and LGD were sent to safety leaving Keta Minaj and Gothy Kendoll up for elimination. Backstage Hannah and Tia were feeling their oats, while Choriza was gutted to be the new queen of the safe club. Tia opened up about how weird it is to be winning challenges, while Hannah was sad to elect a new president for her club in Choriza. Everyone spoke about how stunning LGD’s runway is, though they laughed about her choice of pizza boxer briefs underneath. Hannah checked in with Gothy whole was weeping quiet tears, while Keta was more upbeat about her bomb. Scarlet clocked Gothy for deciding she will be bad and as such, being bad in all the challenges.

Hannah caught up with Gothy to let her know how much she loves her, with Gothy talking about how difficult the contest is and how it keeps her stuck in her head. Hannah tried to get the fight from her, asking what Gothy needs to succeed. Though she seemed too broken to muster a tangible answer. Tia told Keta how strong she knows she is, though also noted that she has now been in the bottom twice in a row. They traded places with Keta telling Hannah that while she isn’t funny, she has a fire to be here and is ready to fight. Which both delighted and made Hannah scared that she could beat her in the end. Gothy spoke to Tia about how much the competition means to her, though worried about how she will be able to apply the judges feedback. With Tia straight up asking if she can cut it, or whether she should eliminate her as Keta is ready to fight each and every episode.

After Tia and Hannah selected their lipsticks, they ventured back to the mainstage as Ru pulled out the wireless and popped on Alcazar’s Crying at the Discotheque. And damn, the dolls turned a show. Though like Jimbo before her, Hannah tragically failed by not lip syncing as Shirley Temple. So while she hit every lyric and gave sex, Tia gave camp and emotion in equal measure, which was all it took to take out victory and claim her first badge. And then promptly saved her UK sister and showed Keta the door.

As Keta arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she was robbed, it still remains the best way to go if you’re going to place in the middle of the pack. Which she eventually agreed was true. I mean, look what happened to Pangina and Jimbo? Universally beloved and everyone is gagging for more, while Jujubee stayed consistent and made it to the end, but with a whimper and now we can’t have her back every year or so. Which honestly, is a travesty. I went on this exact rant with Keta and while she got bored in the middle, I brought it back to her situation and how bright her future may be. Which cheered her up as much as eating a big ol’ Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken.

This is the perfect mid-week meal, for when you need something warm and comforting, but are also close to tears as the weight of work and life gets to you. What, just me? Oh well, try it on a Wednesday night and you will understand.

Enjoy!

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
kosher salt and black pepper
2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick chips
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, sliced
1 lemon, quartered
1 cucumber, sliced
1 batch Aileen Choddess Dressing
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
4 Pita Andre Breads

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C. 

In a bowl, toss together the chicken with half the oil, the garlic, paprika, cumin, chilli, oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and a pinch of salt. 

While that does a quick little marinade, toss the sweet potato in the remaining oil with a good whack of salt and pepper. Spread on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, flip and push to one end, adding the chicken, halloumi and lemon. Return to the oven to bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and the chips crispy.

To serve, line a bowl with the Aileen Choddess Dressing, divide the chicken, chips and halloumi, dollop over the hummus, sprinkle with cucumber coins and squeeze over the caramelised lemon. Then devour, greedily, with a pita.


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Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Mark was ready to do revenge against the Middle Aged Mafia for blindsiding Viola. Despite the fact they all felt it would force Mark into being closer with them. After the new Rebels lost yet another immunity, he convinced them that everything was all good and that he was all in on their plan to get rid of OG Rebels. He calmly suggested that they once again split the votes between Rianna and Sarah, given Alex has zero connections. He then went to said OGs and told them to join him in loading up the votes on Caroline to take control of the tribe officially, rather than just being on the bottom of the alliance. Tragically a series of blunders from Sarah and then Rianna screwed the plan, leading to a chaotic tribal where Mark wasted his idol, Ri flipped her vote to Mark and Sarah was shown the door.

The next day the mood was, once again, a little sombre as Mark tried to clear the air with Caroline about the vote. She agreed things were super messy, as he explained that the dynamics of the four are the reason why he had tried to lead the charge against them. He apologised for his actions, with her assuring him that she is happy to move past it and continue to work together. Though she warned him that the only way they can move forward is if he is able to prove trust. Which at this point is just a bit of a lol, you know?

Over at the Titans things were far more jovial as Ray was busy trying to take his undies off without removing his track pants. Accidentally flashing Valeria in the process. He then went for a swim with Feras, yelling to each other about strategising and playing idols as the tribe watched on giggling. Well, the tribe minus Kelli, who was being suspiciously quiet and calm. Which immediately made Feras worry that she found an idol. Feras and Raymond caught up with Kirby, who decided to play into things by admitting that Kelli did have an idol, hoping the spectre of it keeps them safe. Kirby looped in Kelli, who found it super funny that they thought she had an idol and she agreed it would be fun to use it to her advantage. Leveraging her psychology, of course. As such, Raymond, Feras and Garrick decided they needed to lock in the vote against Kirby with the help of the OG Titans.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the reward challenge where they would race into the water to collect coconuts with letters on them and spell words in a little spelling bee. Best out of 3 scoring an epic Mexican feast. Caroline and Alex faced off against Kelli and Garrick in round one to spell salsa, with the Titans taking out victory despite Kelli struggling to spell the word. Even though she hilariously assured the tribe that she can spell before the round. No joke. Mark and Rianna made things physical with Feras and Winna as they powered ahead to spell chilli, buying them enough time to tie things up for the Rebels. Winna fought hard against Kitty and Alex, as Valeria calmly worked on writing out tortilla, scoring victory for their tribe.

Back at camp the new Titans were positively delighted to discover their Mexican feast awaiting them. Everyone sat down and started smashing all the food, with Winna, Charles and Valeria in particular thrilled to finally have something to eat for the first time in three weeks. After pressing pause on the game for a little, both Feras and Kirby got to work trying to woo the OG Titans. Charles, Winna and Valeria caught up in the water debating the merits, with Charles wisely pointing out that aligning with Kirby, Scott and Kelli makes the most sense, as at least they have an even playing field, rather than going with a four. That night, Charles pulled Kirby and Scott aside to talk through their plans, with them agreeing Feras is so concerned about Kelli having an idol, he isn’t thinking about much else. Wanting to play both sides, Charles and Winna then joined up with Feras and Raymond to hear their plans, with Feras reminding them that whichever way they decide to go, they need to make sure they aren’t picked off afterwards.

Which feels a little ominous, no?

JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would each hold up heavy barrels with the first tribe to drop a single barrel losing and joining Jonathan at tribal council. Things started out pretty zen, with only some minor adjustments to everyone’s hands before Caroline tapped out and handed her barrel to Jaden. After ten minutes, Jaden passed his second barrel over to Alex for a little bit of a break. That took its toll on Alex, trading back after ten minutes before the Titans lost their first person in Valeria. Winna was like a statue as he held onto two barrels before Aileen started to get dangerously close to dropping, forcing her to pass it off to Kirby. She needed a break, so handed her second to Garrick who immediately passed it to Feras. Winna started to get tired, passing one off to Charles and while it looked bad, both tribes were still fighting after 50 minutes. Garrick then dropped out, requiring some shuffling on Titans to save Kirby from dropping, before the tribe admitted defeat and dropped in unison, sending themselves to tribal council.

Back at camp the tribe reconvened around the fire lamenting their loss before splitting up to come up with their plans. After splitting up, Valeria was confident she, Winna and Charles will be able to pick who goes home. Sadly Aileen realised that the Rebels need to stay together for at least one vote, rallying them together and asking Feras and Kirby to put down their guns to assure themselves that OG Rebels have the advantage when they merge. By getting rid of Charles, ideally. And after a little bit of back and forth, they agreed to stick together. Garrick reluctantly, who felt it was the right time to make a break as they already have the numbers. As he simmered in his jocks, he approached Winna to see what the OG Titans were thinking, with him obviously assuring him that they are locked on Kirby. This emboldened him to go back to Feras and Aileen to make one final, hard push for Kirby. With them eventually agreeing. Again, somewhat reluctantly.

Meanwhile Raymond and Kelli were busy talking through the drama, with him telling her there will no doubt be a lot of last minute whispers as rival plans pop up. He then asked her not to play her idol for Kirby, given he wants her to be safe. This made Kelli nervous, so she approached Kirby who then looped in Scott, and just like that, they got to work locking in a rival plan to not take out Feras, but his second in command Garrick. The OG Titans disappeared to talk through their options, with them all agreeing that Kirby is more trustworthy and that is nothing else, they have the power tonight. And once each faction is down to three, they can reassess. They caught up with Kirby who looped them in on the Garrick plan, as they whispered it throughout camp. All the chatter made Feras nervous, who pulled Winna aside to talk about the possibility of Valeria flipping on them. With Winna assuring him that Valeria won’t flip on them, begging the question, which them is he talking about? They then turned their nerves to Kelli and her (non) idol, and how to navigate it. With Kirby assuring us that she will be trying to make everyone paranoid about what exactly Kelli could do. Which will be super easier for Kirby, given the Kelli of it all.

At tribal council Aileen spoke about how the OG Rebels clearly have an advantage, though if the OG Titans stick together, they have so much power. Winna agreed that when there are cracks, they can kind of make the choice, while Charles straight up pointed out that tonight is just about picking a side between the divided Rebels. Kirby pointed out that a true alliance doesn’t need to overdo it and simply have a discussion, and stick to it. Feras spoke about finding the balance between being paranoid and trusting in people. Kirby then called him paranoid, though admitted it is right to be, given he and Aileen pushed to be Rebel strong and then immediately switched. Kirby pointed out they had been duplicitous, leading to Garrick and Feras arguing that she was actually the one that turned on them first and that is why they don’t trust her. Despite her now playing the victim.

Garrick spoke about how disappointed he was in Kirby betraying them and how upset he still is. This led to Kirby denying she did anything wrong, with chaos erupting as Kirby, Feras and Garrick got extremely heated. Kirby tried to take credit for the Peta vote – again, no jury yet, so not relevant – despite not voting for her, which was the sticking point for the boys. Feras put a pin in the fighting as he admitted the divide is so large that there is absolutely no point denying it. Garrick meanwhile was super nervous, feeling like the tribe turned against him, as Feras confirmed with Valeria that the OG Titans were voting with them. And Scott just begged JLP to let them vote so they can finally draw some lines in the damn sand and move on tomorrow.

With that the tribe voted as Aileen begged Feras to play his idol for Garrick, before he held firm and she was proven correct, as the OG Titans joined Kirby’s alliance to blindside Garrick from the game. And let’s just say, he was well and truly pissed. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him all would be ok. Because with such on point reads and a great display (despite going out early), if there is justice, he will make a triumphant return. And between that epic peptalk and piping hot Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas, he was feeling better in no time.

This meal looks like hard work, but is truly so simple. Prep everything, chuck it on a tray and  you’re good to go. And better yet, it is jam packed with flavour and oh so good. Spicy, creamy and warming.

Enjoy!

Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g lamb mince
1 onion, grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
½ cup parsley, roughly chopped
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp dried oregano
½ tsp cayenne pepper
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
4 potatoes, cut into 1cm matchsticks
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, diced
1 capsicum, diced
1 large avocado, halved and seeded
¼ cup greek yoghurt 
½ cup basil
1 jalapeño, trimmed and if you don’t want the heat, seeded
1 tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
4 Pita Andre Breads, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C and line two baking sheets. 

Combine the mince, onion, garlic, lemon zest, parsley, cumin, oregano and half the cayenne pepper in a large bowl, with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch with your hands to combine. Wet your hands and roll into golf ball sized meatballs, popping on the lined baking sheet. Cover and leave to rest.

Toss the sliced potatoes in olive oil and salt and spread over the second baking sheet. Pop in the oven and cook for 15 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 20 minutes. Add the haloumi and capsicum to the meatball tray and pop in the oven when you take the chips out to flip.

While they are cooking, pop the avocado, yoghurt, basil, jalapeno and lemon juice in a blender, and blitz until smooth. Season to taste. 

Combine the paprika, garlic and onion powders and cayenne pepper in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Remove the meatballs, haloumi and chips from the oven, and toss the chips through the spices.

To serve, dollop some avocado onto plates. Followed by the meatballs, fries, halloumi and capsicum, with pitas. And devour however you see fit.


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Soavlaki De Muse

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the top three competed in an epic final challenge which involved learning languages, lip syncing, dancing and kiki-ing. In addition to stomping the runway in a gown, worthy of a crown. Aka the usual set-up. While Paloma struggled through rehearsal, she turned it out when taking the stage, embracing her charm and living her best life. Soa slayed literally any and all moment, while La Grande Dame was just so beautiful. And cool.

As has been the tradition of the season, La Grande Dame, Soa and Paloma were all fiercely talented icons. Though tragically, Nicky and Co. had to make a decision and while I already spoiled La Grande Dame as one of our runners-up, she shared the position with the owner of my heart Soa De Muse.

Despite a rocky start after her first win, there was no denying she was compelling as all hell and it was more of a situation of when rather than if she would bounce back. From giving killer, hilarious confessionals and being charming as all hell in the challenges and the Werk Room, she was well and truly the breakout star of the season.

And will make a very worthy winner of Drag Race France vs. The World.

As she exited the stage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and while I wanted to tell her she was the ultimate robbed goddess of the season, I couldn’t do it. Because France’s top three were all iconic talents in their own ways, which made it such a joy of a season to watch.

Instead, I reminded her that she is a star and while she didn’t leave with the crown, the season is only the beginning for her and I can’t wait for the globe to fall in love with her. Just like I have. Then I stopped myself short of calling her the second coming of Ru and simply served her a big, fat Soavlaki De Muse to show her my devotion.

You know I have a passion for sticking meat in my mouth, particularly if there is dough somehow involved. And this one is even more fun than usual. Packing a punch of garlic, you’re hit with a fresh kick of flavour that has you begging for more. Like us with Soa on our screens, you know?

Enjoy!

Soavlaki De Muse
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
⅓ cup olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ tsp smoked paprika
salt and pepper, to taste
1kg lamb shoulder, diced
2 red onions, sliced
400g Jaida Essence Halloumi, cut into large chips
6 Pita Andre Bread
⅔ cup Carole Radtzikiwill
2 cups Jud Beerza Battered Fries
1 tomato, diced
1 cup lettuce leaf

Method
Combine the olive oil, garlic, lemon zest and juice, oregano, thyme, cumin, chilli and paprika with a good whack of salt and pepper in a large bowl. Add the meat and onions and stir until well coated. Cover and pop in the fridge for a few hours, or ideally overnight.

To make the kebabs, preheat the oven to 180C. Thread the lamb onto metal skewers, trying to avoid overpacking them. Arrange the onion on a lined baking sheet before laying the skewers on top. Transfer to the oven and bake for about 20-30 minutes, or until browned on the outside. Add the haloumi in for the last 10 minutes to crisp up on the outside.

To assemble, smear the pita bread with a little bit of tzatziki, followed by the chips, tomato, lettuce, meat and finally the haloumi. Wrap into a tight cylinder and then devour greedily.


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Jaida Essence Halloumi

Cheese, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Winners Jaida was joyously feeling her oats, out in front with three stars as the girls with only one started to worry about their path to the finale. None more than Monet. In the last Maxi Challenge the dolls acted in the epic scene Santa’s School For Girls, a Christmas, horror, teen movie hybrid. Raja and The Vivienne slayed, Trinity and Jaida were silly and fun while Jinkx did the best she could with the worst part in the scene. Ultimately though it was Raja and Viv who found themselves becoming the top two, with Raja slaying the lip sync and taking out the win. And girl, she was well and truly giddy with power as she joyous blocked former frontrunner Jaida.

Backstage Raja was well and truly feeling her oats, thrilled to not just jag a second star but to claim $10k. While The Viv was glad to finally get her second star on her third win, Jaida arrived and was heartbroken to be blocked while looking so damn cute. While Raja straight up pointed at her and laughed. Like a damn icon. As Trinity asked Jaida if she was happy about learning the secret of the plunger, Raja grew more and more jealous about the fact she isn’t in on the gag. Which obviously lead to Jaida floating the idea of nobody blocking Raja so she can never find out what she is missing out on. Talk turned to track records with everyone but Shea and Monet thrilled to be close to making it to the finale, before it descended into absolute chaos – as it so often does – with the star moment obviously being Shea’s Kevin McCalister impersonation.

Things were decidedly more calm the next day as Monet continued to smart about having only one star. Thankfully before she could get too in her feelings, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be making their own branded viral videos for social media, all to one of Ru’s songs. Because she is nothing if not a smart lady who is going to get those royalty cheques.

The dolls split up to talk through their ideas with Raja being totally relatable, knowing a tonne about TikTok dances but being disgusted by the thought of doing one. Everyone opened up about their brands with Monet starting to feel good about the challenge, which made her nervous, given she assumed there must be a catch. Jaida meanwhile was keeping it simple, Trinity was going to combine her signature three moves while Yvie was leaning into having no bones. That being said, she was super stressed given she hates viral dances and only uses the internet for cat videos. Which is so relatable, except I watch French Bulldogs and Bostons.

Jinkx meanwhile was smashing a peanut butter sandwich into her mouth which WOULD be relatable, except she used smooth rather than Super Crunchy. That being said, while everyone thought she was losing her grip on reality, like Katya before her, she was feeling pretty confident and committing to making a sandwich for her four bars.

Ru made a triumphant return – screaming wagon wheel watusi, no less – to check in with the girls with The Vivienne ready to do a so you can’t dance Viv-eo, Shea would Shea-ke it down to get a star, Trinity was doing THE tuck and Yvie was leaning into the odd by way of Gumby. Jinkx meanwhile was sticking with the sandie-j dance, leaning in to her middle aged mother persona, while Monet was going to be doing the ex-change and while Ru was confused by her explanation, her excitement and energy is clearly going to prove her well. As will Ru’s suggestion to lean into money moves.

When it came to shooting their dances, Yvie was living her best life and so much fun, Jinkx was so damn stupid and I loved every moment, Trinity was in full momager mode with her back-up dancers, Viv was silly, Shea shook it all up, Raja looked stunning, Jaida kept forgetting her lines and Monet thought she lost a nail.

Runway Day arrived with Monet excited to see how their dances turned out and more importantly, grab herself a second star. Finally. Shea meanwhile opened up about dreaming of being a dancer as a child, explaining that she took that vibe into the challenge. Shea and Monet then tried to identify their mononym, which immediately made Jaida want in. Trinity and Jinkx meanwhile kikied about their videos with the latter showing how she clearly understood the assignment, saying the dance was there but whatever, because she truly sold herself. Trinity was also happy with hers. They then spoke about stars, realising everyone either catches up this week or two girls can join Jaida out in front. The Viv, Raja and Jaida were also talking about stars with Raja questioning what she wanted more, another star or to finally learn the secret of the plunger. While Jaida joked about being blocked all the way to the end. And yeah, Raja is totally getting blocked, isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on the judges panel by Ben Platt as Shea kicked off the What Lies Beneath runway in a stunning, tonal, blue gown, complete with her buns out. Jaida too went with icy shades of blues before revealing a stunning floral gown before serving stripes and a a fiery, floral nude illusion. The Viv went from Wicked Witch to Elsa to Elsa, in pants. Raja was a bright delight, serving hoops, spikes, flamingos and finally, body-ody-ody. Yvie went from a cocoon to a slimily slug, Jinkx was perfect in a Picasso suit to Monet – the artist, not her sister – gown before going Pollack housewife before rocking cubism. And yeah, it was great. Monet went Harriet Tubman, to Black Panther and then BLM and like Jinkx, it was perfect. Trinity meanwhile was a burlesque babe going from mermaid gown to sexy flower.

Shea’s video was hilariously serious giving confused moves and well, she looked fucking stunning. The judges lived for how charming she was in her video and by the fact her dance was totally achievable for a viral moment. Oh and then lived for her runways. They lived for how silly and on brand Jaida was serving the new diva rules. And obviously her outfits were deemed perfect. The Viv gave classic British humour, complete with taking the piss out of internet culture and the passion for repeating the words, The Viveo. And her musical theatre looks were deemed stunning. Aunty Raja gave self-help via dance video and ugh, it was so stupid I lived for every moment. Which is exactly how the judges felt, about the video and her runways.

Coooool.

Yvie gave full Yvie, ridiculous, camp and all limb. And well, I totally see her dance going viral within the next 24 hours. And the judges once again felt her runway was stunning, but her make-up was even better. Jinkx meanwhile stole the show, polished, wild, dumb and hilarious from start to finish. And had Ru nearly wetting her pants. And her art received universal praise for her work of art on the runway. Monet’s video oozed charm and personality as she leaned into Ru’s suggestions and like Yvie, will be viral in the next day. When it came to her runway, they all lived for how great she looked while serving such a powerful message. Trinity rounded out the show serving stupid in her video, being wild, sexy and so bloody fun. And rightly received universal praise for her stunning runway.

Backstage the dolls were loving their turn on the runway, mainly because Ben was flirting with all of them. Everyone praised each other on their looks, gushing over all the details and honestly, once again, I love seeing how much the dolls all clearly love each other. And how the competition has given them the space to show another side of themselves and try new things. Talk turned to their videos and who the girls think will be in the top, with Monet thinking it is down to her, Shea, Trinity and Jinkx.  That in turn lead to talking about getting blocked with Raja talking about how fun it was to block one of her sisters, likening it to Monopoly. While Jinkx obviously didn’t like the concept of blocking, though mainly because she is one of two people that have had to do it twice. While Yvie and Monet felt left out, given they’ve never gotten to block.

After a detour about selfies, Ben Platt dropped by to kiki with the girls. And let me tell you, he was just so great as Dear in Dear Evan Hansen.

Ultimately it was Monet who landed in the top two alongside Jinkx before they competed for the ultimate win in a spoken word lip sync to the icnoic scene from Designing Women. Which was every bit as fun and delightful, and wild, as you can imagine. And while I will stan Jinkx until the day I die, there was no denying this was Monet’s moment. Just like the night the lights went out in Gerogia. She was silly, sassy and honestly a star, earning her $10k before she promptly blocked Raja. Who you just know is going to be pissed when she discovers there is no bloody secret next week.

As they were filing backstage, Jaida was shocked as I whispered at her to come and follow me. Given she has the most stars, alongside Jinkx. I then had to explain that Ru hadn’t shared the intel re. the star system before I set this season’s rules and as such, based it on wins. And tragically, she has the least amongst the dolls I have left. Which is a very long-winded explanation she didn’t care for, given she looks so cute in her runway. Which is the most Jaida way to explain that she doesn’t care for explanation and just wants some fuel for the final three weeks. Fuel in the form of some Jaida Essence Halloumi.

Yes, this is just a recipe for making cheese. But as you should know, halloumi isn’t just any old cheese. Salty, firm and gloriously squeaky – whether you like it or not – halloumi is the MVP of any meal. And it is even better when freshly made.

Enjoy!

Jaida Essence Halloumi
Serves: 1 person and a delightful icon.

Ingredients
¼ tsp rennet
5L unhomogenised milk
100g salt
clean cheesecloth

Method
Pour 1 cup of boiling water into a bowl and leave to cool before whisking in the rennet.

Meanwhile pop the milk in a pot over low heat and cook, stirring, until it hits 36°C on a candy thermometer and try to keep it at that temperature for as long as possible. Whisk in the rennet mixture for a few seconds before stopping the liquid completely. Cover and leave undisturbed for an hour, or until set. You will want to grab a curd and pull it apart, if it leaves a crack, it’s done. Otherwise leave for another half an hour.

When the curds are nice and set – and the temp is still at 36°C – use a bread knife to dice into 1-2cm cubes. Leave to rest for ten minutes before reheating to 40°C. Line a colander with the cheesecloth and place over a pot. Drain the curds from the whey and wrap the cloth tightly to form a block of curds. Pop a plate on top and place a weight on top before leaving for an hour or so to set.

Transfer the whey into a saucepan that is just a little bigger than the block and bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Stir in 1 tbsp of salt and scoop any solids that form on the top (this is ricotta), then add the block of curds and poached gently until it rises to the top. Then drain.

To brine the cheese, mix the remaining cheese for 1.5L of water in a sterile jar until dissolved. Pop in the cheese and leave in the fridge to brine for a day.

Then, drain, slice and fry. Or whatever you want to do with halloumi.


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