Kale

Kale & Sausage Pizzthia

Main, Pizza, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls played the Snatch Game and given the season hasn’t been nice to the international girlies, it was always going to be a battle for our poor ESL queens. I mean, could you imagine trying to do improv in anything other than your native tongue? Impossible. But rant over. Pythia was a breath of fresh air, pivoting to a frat-bro Zeus 10 minutes before the shoot and someone looking glorious and firing all of the jokes. In the other group, it was Kitty’s glum, horny, filthy and glorious Princess Di that stole the show. Sadly Pythia didn’t get what should have been her third win, and instead Kitty as Prinny Di earned her, her second. At the other end of the pack it was a battle of the assassins as Gala and Vanity faced off in the lip sync. And given it was literally a song from The Muppets, Vanity leant into her silliness and sent poor Gala home.

Backstage Kitty was thrilled to have jagged her second win – that again, should have been Pythia’s – and most importantly, to finally be a Snatch Game winner. Which is once again a reminder of how good Ella was as Nigella. But once again, I’ve digressed. Tessa was feeling disappointed to have gone from winning to the bottom, particularly since she was an absolute flop. Talk turned to the lip sync with the dolls reminding Vanity that they haven’t heard Ru laugh like that in a lip sync, well, ever. While Vanity was just grateful to have Kween’s advice to put the negative talk in the boot of the car and drive on through the competition.

The next day Kween admitted she was quite surprised to see who had made it into the top seven before everyone realised that Vanity is now the official lip sync assassin of the season. Kitty was busy wishing for a comedy challenge and from her mouth to Ru’s ears, mother arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be battling it out in a rich international roast. So yeah, condragulations Kitty, I guess. Pythia meanwhile was terrified, hoping their mystery guest would be able to coach her to a cheeky safe placement. Oh and as the winner of last week’s challenge, Kitty would be deciding the order.

After Ru exited, the dolls split up to work through their jokes with Alyssa hoping for rudemption after her bomb in Season 5. Forgetting that All Stars 2 exists, basically. BEAST! Given Tessa has never done a roast, she was hoping that Alyssa could give her some pointers for no other reason than she is evil. Kitty meanwhile was feeling her oats, given the jokes about her sisters were writing themselves. Pythia on the other hand, tragically, was paralysed by fear as she worried about bombing her second roast. Kween, Nehellenia and Vanity were kikiing and having fun, particularly Kween, given the other two had no material and she was having a ball reading them for filth. Oh and Vanity had no material as she was planning to sing her roast. Talk turned to the order with Kitty wanting the dolls to turn a good show, so would be putting herself and Kween as the bookends with the flops just filling out the middle. Which is kinda what everyone wants, so it even appears fair. 

Graham Norton then dropped by with a cup of joe to coach the doll. After reading Nelly for not having a win, of course. Nelly to her credit opened up about being delusional more than funny, while Tessa was worried about delivering a joke and Alyssa was just hoping to live up to everyone’s expectations. Kween opened up about how brutal everyone is Down Under, so felt ready to demolish the challenge. While Graham encouraged all of them to just focus on being funny and leaning into their weaknesses to cut through. Talk turned to cancellation, with Graham reminding them to make people laugh and that is all that matters. Kitty then decided it was time to announce the order, opting to take the opening slot and then be followed by Vanity, Pythia, Alyssa, Nelly and Tessa before finishing with Kween. And when Kitty mentioned she wanted peaks and valleys in the show, everyone was left wondering who exactly would be the valleys.

Oh and then the zaddy with the nipple ring from the Pit Crew returned and hot damn, I am moister than an oyster.

Elimination Day arrived with Kween ready to devour her set, turning everyone’s attention back to being cancelled. Vanity admitted she got a lot of hate after her first season, while Alyssa reminded her of Ru’s quote that other people’s opinions of her are none of her business and hot damn if that is not the best life advice, no?

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by international treasure Graham Norton as Kitty kicked off the roast in an absolutely blistering manner. Vanity then sang her song, finding all keys but not a single laugh. By comparison, Pythia was not the worst. But not by much. Alyssa thankfully brought the energy back up, elevating her ok jokes with her pitch perfect delivery. Nehellenia started strong and kept the energy going through the entire set, surprising and delighting her sisters in the process. Tessa felt like she brought the jokes from home via AI, before Kween, thankfully, brought the roast to a killer end by eviscerating her competition. I mean, she called Kitty a coloniser. Essentially. Iconic.

On the Blow Me Away runway Kitty was a gorgeous combination of a bride and Bey’s pregnancy shoot, but stuck in a tornado. Vanity was draped in tinsel and I love Christmas, but I don’t love this. Though apparently her OG dress was ruined in transit, so let’s forgive it. Pythia was a stunning, elven goddess doing Ursula cosplay, and so lovely. Alyssa was a shimmering Texan delight in blue, Nehellenia was a gorgeous flaming delight, Tessa was a silver siren before Kween ate them in a gorgeous golden gown, giving us a Bey bookend.

Kitty received wall to wall praise from the judges, though Michelle did wish she took a breath during the roast. Vanity on the other hand got wall to wall demolishment, particularly for the look. The judges just felt roasting goes against Pythia’s nature as she is so kind, but her runway was once again perfect. Alyssa was praised for everything she brought to the competition across the season, and praised for her confidence carrying her through the roast. Nehellenia was praised for surprising the judges in both the challenge and on the runway, Tessa was read for letting the nerves get to her on the roast though they were grateful for a killer look. Oh and then Kween was equally as beloved as Kitty.

Backstage Kitty and Kween were well and truly feeling their oats as everyone praised Nehellenia for such a dominant performance. Pythia admitted that she just doesn’t understand stand up and as such, is fine to lip sync if her look can’t save her again. While Vanity joked that she was hoping to get another win, though didn’t want to be exiting the competition on her one year anniversary of entering Drag Race Sverige.

Ultimately Kitty and Kween were both deemed winners before Alyssa and Nehellenia were sent to safety. With Tessa the last to join them, as Vanity and Pythia were sent through to the lip sync. And while Pythia had a home court advantage in the form of Celine’s I Drove All Night, Vanity felt every single moment of the song and while she looked like ONJ, she was Celine. Which tragically meant the darkest timeline continued and Pythia was booted from the competition.

As is oft the case, particularly this season, Pythia followed the sounds of wild tears to find me backstage where I pulled her in for a massive hug. Begging for her to wake me up from this nightmare, given she should have minimum three wins, instead of going out in the middle of the pack. Eventually she calmed me down, assuring me that she was just so grateful to get another shot at a crown and show of her skills to a global audience, which is a super kind and mature way to handle it. Which is super on brand for her. So to thank her for both her kindness and artistry, I whipped up a piping hot Kale & Sausage Pizzthia.

While it is potentially the reason why Pythia lost – the pizza curse is real, ya’ll – it is so delicious you almost can’t be mad. Spicy sausage, velvety ricotta and a zing of lemon are the perfect throuple to mark such a glorious drag queen.

Enjoy!

Kale & Sausage Pizzthia
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
200g ricotta
50g grated parmesan
1 lemon, zested
salt and pepper, to taste
2 spring onions, sliced
2 cups kale, shredded
100g hot salami, thinly sliced
mozzarella, grated

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Combine the ricotta, parmesan and lemon zest in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Smear over the bases, sprinkle with spring onions, followed by the kale and the salami and finally the mozzarella.

Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden. Then devour, safely.


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Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold

Main, Pizza, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the tribe met Probst for the first official individual immunity challenge. Only it wasn’t, because as is tradition in the new era, the tribe were split into two random groups with one person winning immunity on each group. And then each group would go to tribal council and vote someone out. To make it twistier, the person that stayed up the longest would earn their group reward and a spot on the jury. As the first person out would become the final pre-juror. After Dee and her super-toes won her group reward, the losers went back to Lulu where Drew offered up Sifu as the target to save himself. And while Kendra wanted to make a move against Bruce, Kellie was able to keep them together and along with Emily, they sent Sifu out of the game and all the way home.

But back to the other group. After the challenge, we followed Quentin Tarrantino’s dream and the team off to the Sanctuary where they joyfully smashed tacos and congratulated each other on making it to the jury. As they smashed their food, Julie spoke about how nervous she was to navigate the vote. Particularly since Kaleb has proven lucky thus far and she doesn’t want it to continue at the expense of her game. Sadly for her, Jake had firmly set his sights on taking out Julie for no other reason than it could potentially weaken Dee, who he deems the biggest threat.

Back at camp Dee and Austin caught up about the vote, with Austin suggesting it would be a good idea to keep Kaleb around, given he is a bigger threat than them and as such, will always be a target. Sadly for him, Dee was fixated on voting out Kaleb again, given it is one that won’t ruffle any feathers. They looped in Jake and Julie, and while Julie was all good, Jake was sick of being told what to do and he went to talk to Kaleb. Kaleb knew his only hope was with Katurah and as such, cautioned Jake that they need to tell her about Bruce’s idol, because if she learns about it from Austin, she is likely to flip on them too. And she is crucial to taking out Julie. Assuming that in a revote, Austin would be too scared to go to rocks and as such, would eventually join them.

Kaleb caught up with Katurah and let her know the plan to spook Austin into flipping on a revote, before he told her about Bruce’s vote. Instantly locking in her loyalty knowing that while Belo are happy to keep her in the dark, he is willing to protect her. Katurah caught up with Jake so that they could run through the plans between Julie and Kaleb, and which one would take them further. She then confronted Jake about the knowledge of the idol, with him subtly pinning the blame on Kaleb and oh god, don’t turn it on my angel.

As the other group left tribal council and the future jurors filed in, Dee spoke about putting the game on pause until they returned from the Sanctuary. And how their feast was a lovely, bonding experience. Which Jake agreed with, though also pointed out that they still need to send someone to kick off the jury. Julie spoke about thinking she was going to play the game as a robot, however she realises it is heartbreaking to send someone home. Katurah spoke about the nervousness of finally being an option to go home, given she has luckily been immune thus far, while Jake admitted he just wants to work with people he thinks will take him further. Kaleb meanwhile said that he played it differently, taking his foot off the gas to show he is willing to work and they don’t need to fear him. Dee spoke about that being great and all, but reminded him that everything relies on people buying what he is selling, too. With Katurah agreeing he has no other options, so of course he is going to say it. And given all the confusion, she will be trusting her gut tonight.

With that the group voted and tragically Katurah joined the Rebas to send Kaleb out of the game, likely to become the sweetest King of the Jury of all time. As he arrived in Ponderosa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being such a delightful breath of fresh air all season. More importantly, he single handedly turned Emily’s game around and allowed her to shine – ignoring Hannah’s quit saving her first, TBH – and while I loved him for himself, that heroic act delivered the season, and for that we should all be grateful. Even more so than him being a total zaddy, and such glorious company to smash a Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold with. Particularly since it is what cursed him out of the game.

You know I have a passion for putting sausage in my mouth, and with the addition of kale, you can argue this is healthy. Kinda. A little earthy with a kick of heat, this pizza is super easy to throw together, and will have you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold
Serves: 2-4, depending on need and/or hunger.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
4 italian sausages, skins removed
4 cloves garlic, crushed
⅓ cup passata
oregano and basil, roughly chopped, to taste
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 cups shredded kale
mozzarella, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Pop the sausage in a skillet over medium heat and cook, breaking up into large chunks with a wooden spoon as you go for a couple of minutes. Add in the garlic and cook for a further minute, or until the sausage is just cooked through.

To assemble, smear passata over the prepared bases, sprinkle with the herbs and chilli, followed by the kale and garlicky sausage before topping, generously, with mozzarella.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Serve and devour immediately, eating through the pain.


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Kale Shannon Slawson

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Salad, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor, well and truly on the outs Laura and Rachel went for a cheeky walk and what do you know, they found an idol. Sadly for them, it was under the watchful eye of George. Jonathan decided to cause a little chaos and switched up the tribes, with new Brawn still taking out immunity despite now having Wai and Hayley – self proclaimed not-Brawns – in their midst. Cara returned to the Brains tribe and along with Geroge, joined the Brawns to get rid of one of the Brains girls that were formerly controlling their tribe. However George confused the hell out of everyone while teeing up the split vote and after Laura correctly played her idol for Rach, Cara’s accidental vote for Laura inadvertently sent Big D from the game.

Back at camp the tribe was in absolute shock, none more so than Kez who was heartbroken to lose her friend Daini. Standing around the fire, Cara eventually admitted it was her mistake that cost him the game and while everyone appeared to laugh it off, me thinks Queen Kez may hold a grudge. And well, I hate the thought of my two Queens feuding.

The next day things were moderately less dramatic as the tribe napped, George meandered the camp and Cara was straight up embarrassed by her stuff up. Her plan was to lay as low as possible and avoid anyone holding it against her. Sadly for her, George was desperate to raise her up and spin the situation – very vocally – to take the heat off her and in turn, keep their new alliance safe.

Meanwhile in the billabong Rachel and Laura were celebrating their lucky win, though realised they were still in a shitty situation. And as such, decided to try and turn the former Brawns against Cara ASAP. Sadly for them, they had their own situation going on as Georgia became painfully ill and well, the poor thing looked like death.

Over at the Brawn Camp, Andrew was joyously fishing while Hayley worried about their extreme numbers disadvantage. As such, she got together with Andrew to renew their bond and make sure he was willing to put everything aside and find a crack in the old Brawn tribe. Speaking of the former Brawns, Shannon was ride or die with the Brawns, though did assure us that she was still looking to get rid of Simon ASAP and make sure she beats him. Which, TBH, doesn’t bode well for her survival tonight, right? Or his I guess.

In any event, we’re getting some form of resolution to this storyline tonight – I feel it in me waters, Kim.

My love Jonathan arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes were gagged to discover that not only did Cara’s mistake screw Daini, but that tribal immunity is on hold for the episode and instead they would all be competing as individuals. As both tribes are going to tribal and both of them are voting someone out, with two winners from each tribe getting champagne in addition to immunity. The challenge? Well they have to make their way through an obstacle course and then pair up to cross parallel balance beams before tossing sacks and landing them on a table. First two to finish from each tribe scoring victory.

Before the challenge even began, Georgia opted out due to her illness. When it came to the challenge, both tribes were neck and neck through the obstacles until everyone on Brawn powered ahead, leaving Wai alone on the balance beam. Until Queen Chelsea came back and kindly helped. While everyone on Brains continued to work together until the end of the challenge, Brawns started to split off as Baden and Simon started tossing their sacks.  Andrew and Baden were first to sling a sack on Brawn, while Kez soon followed on Brains. They were joined by Gerald, Dani and then SLAY, Wai! It was back and forth as people landed their bags and knocked them off until Andrew scored one of the first immunities followed by Wai, much to the delight of the rest of her tribe. Which is just so nice.

Oh and on the Brains, Emmett won immunity and then started gossiping with Simon while Hayley joined Georgia on the bench to do the same. More importantly, Queen Rach was next to jag herself immunity. As the victors exited stage left to enjoy their champagne reward, poor Georgia was loaded into an ambulance to get checked out, much to the fears of her tribemates.

Arriving at the bush bar, the group were delighted by their tasting plate more so than the dranks. Which is concerning, but whatever. In any event, Rachel was planning to use her time at the bar to charm Emmett and try to get him to get rid of either Cara and George. And he immediately agreed, so I guess we can just call this episode a day, then. Go home Jonathan, one of the tribals is all sorted!

Back at Brains Laura was thrilled her mate Rach was living it up with the champagne, though was worried about what was going on with Georgia. And just like that, Jonathan appeared to announce that Georgia is being temporarily pulled from the game for observation and as per rules, has 24 hours to return before forfeiting her place. And as such, won’t be voting at tribal council and also can’t be booted.

While it is good that we can make sure she is safe, Laura realised that meant that she was the only target left now, so needed to desperately find a crack. She started working with Gerald and Kez and after barely even trying, had Kez on board given she is still enraged to have lost Daini. Before we could learn more, Emmett and Rachel returned from the reward with Rach thanking everyone for giving her the real reward, seeing how they all lifted each other up at the challenge. Ugh, isn’t she the sweetest?

After noticing Georgia was gone, Rachel and Laura went for a walk to exchange all the latest intel, glad that everyone was seemingly ready to get rid of Cara. Emmett and Kez meanwhile had their own chat, with the former admitting that all he cares about is the two of them and Gerald making the merge and as such, he doesn’t actually care who gets voted out between Cara and Laura. And given Cara fucked up, they were more interested in getting rid of her.

We next checked in with the Brawns with Hayley glad that both of their immunities went to former Brains and as such, have more leverage despite not having the numbers. As such, she went for the most bold move and told everyone that the Brains were planning to vote four strong and since two of them are immune, she plans to do scissor, paper, rock to decide who she plays the idol on between her and Baden and as such, the Brawns should start a conversation with them to decide who to get rid of out of their group.

She and Baden then went for a walk, with Baden excited to just lock in a name while Hayley cautioned him to wait and see who is the first to break ranks and talk to them. Speaking of which, Shannon and Flick were catching up with Simon and talking about how to proceed with both suggesting they play his idol and join with them to the Brains and sacrifice Chelsea instead. Which he readily agreed to after they assured him that they can bring Dani back in after the vote.

But psych, he didn’t plan on following through with that at all, taking Dani and Celsea to the well to let them know everything. And then suggest they all load their votes on Baden, which annoyed Dani, because she feels like this would actually be the perfect time to get rid of Shannon instead. And you know, assert her dominance on the tribe. 

Meanwhile Shannon and Flick were first to get to Hayley and Baden, immediately offering up Chelsea as the boot. As they left, Simon, Chelsea and Dani replaced them and pitched getting rid of Shannon. And just like that, Hayley and Baden were spoilt for choice. Both options being good, because Chelsea and Dani are a tight pair, while Shannon is a big threat. But to Hayley, keeping a threat around isn’t the worst thing at this point.

Once Wai and Andrew returned they were pulled aside by Hayley and quickly caught up on all of her and Baden’s handiwork, with them excited to take power just by instilling them with enough fear.

Both tribes descended on tribal council with Jonathan catching the Brawns up on the situation with Georgia before getting right down to business. Cara spoke about her guilt in sending Daini home due to her stupid mistake, not wanting anyone to think it was deliberate move on her part. Emmett meanwhile denied getting chatty at the reward, given they were too busy eating. Rachel on the other hand was just glad to be safe and wanted to contribute to the conversation to help them keep the tribe strong. 

On the flipside, Laura was shitting her pants as the odd one out on the tribe, fully expecting to go home next. Particularly since Emmett is confident that the alliance have a strong plan that they will execute perfectly. Despite that, Cara was still nervous and while George tried to raise her up, the Brawns weren’t so forgiving. Dani was emphatic about the fact she would have immediately booted Cara for her mistake, with Cara assuring her tribe that she knows the plan and will not make a mistake again. 

We checked in with the Brawn tribe with Shannon excited to see where things stand post swap. Hayley gagged Jonathan by yet again announcing her plan to the entire tribal council, delighting Emmett and George while making the OG Brawns on her tribe very nervous. Flick herself was worried about making a mistake at tribal council and going home, while Simon was straight up terrified, though continued to highlight how strong he is in the hope that nobody targets him. 

To keep things interesting, Shannon outed Simon’s idol and said that should he play his idol, Brains too could have their plans blown up. Dani just spoke about being Brawns strong while Shannon was confident they would make things work. Hayley admitted that she is getting very nervous, with Shannon telling her that all the conversations she had today are truthful. And Dani just said that she can trust her. While Baden was just hopeful that the division in the tribe won’t be down tribal lines after tonight.

With that the tribes voted, Baden and Hayley hung on to their/Hayley’s idol before Laura found herself voted out of the Brains tribe. But then when Jonathan immediately started reading the Brawn votes – and given there were still ten minutes left – it was obvious a twist was afoot, despite the Brawns voting out Shannon.

We then learnt that while Laura and Shannon were both voted out, only one would be booted from the game and that decision will be made by the four immune people. With that, Rachel, Emmett, Wai and Andrew were required to make a unanimous decision on who to boot and should they not be able to, the girls battle it out with a fire making challenge. And while Andrew and Rachel were keen to save Laura, Wai gagged everyone by voting for Shannon to stay. And while Emmett wanted fireworks by way of the challenge, he also wanted Shannon to stay to keep OG Brawn strong. Something Simon, Dani and Chelsea clearly don’t care about anymore.

Then Simon happened, stepping in to tell Emmett that Shannon threw all the former Brawns under the bus as soon as the challenge ended and as such, Emmett was the one making a shit move. Which miraculously led to both Wai and Emmett backpedalling on their decisions, saving Laura and instead sending Shannon from the game as the eighth boot for her disloyalty. Even though, yes, that is the point of the game. But so is using it to further yourself. 

Why did I go on that tangent? You know that.

Anyway, I saw Shannon arrive at Loser Lodge and while I was heartbroken my dear friend’s dream was over, I was glad to be able to hang with each other. You see, Shan and I are the absolute best of friends, given we’re both influencers – remember, I am the OG Celeste Barber … who also went to my school but that is a story for another day, ya’ dig?

So Shan and I are best friends and spoiler alert, this season was meant to be Blood vs Water and we were scheduled to compete but then ‘rona happened and they went in a different direction. And since there is no beauty tribe and there is no way you can spin me as strong, I was dropped. But given I’m so critical to the health and wellbeing of the casts, that is probably for the best.

Seriously, what is with the tangents today? You know the drill, I told Shan she played a killer game, she is an absolute star and I love her. Then got down to nourishing her soul with a big ol’ Kale Shannon Slawson.

I know, I know. You don’t make friends with salad. But when they taste this good, you HAVE to make an exception. Tart, fresh and packed full of flavour, this is just what you need to dull your post boot pain.

Enjoy!

Kale Shannon Slawson
Serves: 2 stunning influencers, but would also suffice for 6 people for dinner as a side.

Ingredients
4 cups kale, washed and shredded
1 cup red cabbage, washed and shredded
2 carrots, peeled and grated
1 small red onion, diced
⅓ cup craisins
½ cup slivered almonds
3 tbsp pepitas
3 tbsp sunflower seeds
1⁄4 cup tahini
2 lemons, zested and juiced
1 tbsp olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tsp dijon mustard
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Combine the kale, red cabbage, carrot, red onion, craisins, almonds, pepitas and sunflower seeds in a large bowl and toss to combine.

Meanwhile, whisk literally everything else together in a jug.

Pour the dressing over the salad, toss to combine and then serve.

And then devour, obvi.


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Lawrence Colchannon

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 12 new dolls waltzed into the Werk Room and while their Season 1 sisters – led by The Vivienne – were icons, they walked so these calls could run. Because damn, this season was perfect from start to finish. We lost star Joe Black first before the sweetest frontline worker of all time Cherry Valentine was felled. The dolls were then gagged by ASOS loving Asttina followed her out the door with a win to her name before Ginny straight up quit the show and exited on her own terms.

Then the world happened and that little ol’ virus that could came a knockin’ at the studio doors with filming shut down for seven months.

When things kicked back off, Sister had a new face while Tia kept her JT style hair for continuity. Sadly, Veronica caught COVID and was unable to return to the show, leading to Joe making a triumphant return for another try. Sadly she became the first boot again before Tia and Sister followed her out the door. Despite having two wins to her name, A’Whora was felled by a bleep riddle comedy show leaving Ellie, Tayce, Bimini and Lawrence to battle for the crown.

Well, the latter three as Ellie was felled ahead of the final lip sync.

While Tayce dominated the lip sync and Bimini dominated the latter half of the competition, it was the all-rounder Lawrence that joined the UK winners circle. And well, it is what she deserves. While Bimini overtook her in the later stages of the competition, Lawrence was consistently in the top and you know she is going to go on to have a long, successful career given she is so damn charming and funny. As such, I was very proud to toast her success with a piping hot bowl of Lawrence Colchannon.

How do you make mashed potatoes even better? Pack it full of flavour and cover it in brown butter, of course! Rich and hearty, this colcannon is the perfect accompaniment for any dish and will have you questioning why you haven’t slathered brown butter over your mash before.

Enjoy!

Lawrence Colchannon
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1kg washed potatoes
200g kale, stripped from stems and roughly chopped
1 cup milk
2 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp pepper
150g unsalted butter
4 spring onions, sliced

Method
Pop the potatoes into a large pot of salted water and bring to the boil. Reduce to a simmer and cook until tender. Add the stripped kale to the pan and cook for a further five minutes before draining everything. Return to the pan and place over the off burner to dry out all the excess liquid.

Aggressively mash the potatoes and kale until semi-smooth before stirring through the milk, salt and pepper and stirring to combine. Place over the lowest heat possible and stir frequently to avoid catching.

Place a small saucepan over a medium heat and slowly melt the butter before cooking until golden brown and starting to get brown bits catching on the bottom. Add in the spring onions, cook for a further minute and remove from the heat. Add half to the potato mixture and stir to combine.

To serve, pour the potato into a dish, whipping with a spatula to form peaks and valleys across the surface. Then drizzle with the rest of the brown butter and devour, like a true queen.


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Tony Kale Chips

Emmy Gold, Side, Snack

Now I know it runs the risk of stacking the odds-discussion and is in flagrant disregard of my unspoken Oscar Gold rules, but I’m a man that likes to live on the edge so opted by opening my Emmy Gold celebrations with my dear friend, the current Emmy holder and repeat nominee (for the past four years) Tony Hale.

Sure we aren’t going to be able to run the Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series odds without a shit tonne of bias but it should be only a two horse race anyway – Tone and Tituss, for those playing along at home – so I don’t even care, you know?

I’ve known Tone for fifteen years after meeting on the set of Dawson’s Creek when he guested as a doctor. I was their medical advisor at the time after defrauding my way through Harvard Med and bonded with Tone after he could clearly tell I wasn’t a doctor. Using the old adage of keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, I befriended him into keeping my secret and cemented it with a role in the best episode of SAtC, The Real Me.

Thanks for getting me out of that pickle, Mar-Cho!

We haven’t been able to catch-up much in the last few years, what with him busy filming Veep and me hustling – in all meanings of the word.

Tone is obviously starting to get nervous for the big night, going for his third gong however he is continuing to spout off the line I hate most, I’m just happy to be nominated – although I’m terrified to think that he may actually mean it!

“It won’t happen, but do you want me to kill Ty Burrell if he beats you?”

“No Ben, I don’t mind. He is a great (SIC) actor and truly, it is just an honour to be nominated.”

“But Veep is a far better show than Modern Family and I’m sick of it (winning awards, I’ll keep watching)! What about Matt? Want me to mess him up a bit if he joins the Veep winners?”

“No – I love Matt, he deserves to win … “

“He doesn’t.”

“He does and it is an honour to be nominated against him.”

As you can see, conversation started to go round in circles with him praising his fellow nominees – Tituss being the only warranted praise – while I desperately tried to finalise my bet with my bookie / see if his plus one was available.

While he stupidly elected to take his beautiful wife – citing my penchant for violence as a reason he had reservations about taking me as his escort – I didn’t mind, knowing that Kit Harrington would still take me – in both meanings – if I get desperate. To prove I held no ill will, I still made a hearty serve of my Tony Kale Chips.

 

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I know some people have an issue with kale, mainly due to its fad-like popularity, I’ve never met someone who can’t be swayed by them in chip form. Earthy, crisp and covered in salt, these are the perfect snack for eating smugly before an awards show.

I mean kale is healthy, so you can break the diet early, right? Enjoy!

 

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Tony Kale Chips
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
bunch of kale
olive oil
salt, to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 175°C.

Remove the kale leaves from the stems and cut into large chip-sized pieces, wash and dry them thoroughly.

Transfer to a lined baking sheet, drizzle with a lug of olive oil, season with salt and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until lightly browned and crisp.

Devour.

 

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