Pineapple and Morglamb Mitchellow Curry

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Postgraduates were well and truly in control after avoiding a rockdraw. After Kaelan won immunity, they decided to stay silent against the OG Brawn girls to make sure they couldn’t find a crack. Thankfully the Brawns were not keen on going down without a fight, soKristin got to work trying to woo Zara. Though she clearly wasn’t budging. At tribal council, Kate shared how frustrated she was knowing there were cracks, so made one final attempt at flipping Zara by changing the vote to Myles. Sadly for them, Zara stayed firm with her alliance – mainly because Kate is her biggest competition – as poor Kristin was sent out the door.

Back at camp everyone celebrated making the final six, before the majority went for a walk to congratulate themselves for sticking to their OG plan for the first time all season. Back at the shelter, Morgan and Kate decided that the only thing left to do was be iconic, so snacked on rice. Myles meanwhile was thrilled by how solid his alliance was, so asked everyone who should go next, with Zara quickly suggesting Kate. And while they all seemed solid, Myles admitted to us that Kate isn’t his biggest threat and as such, if their alliance comes undone, you better trust and believe it will be because of him.

The next day everyone woke up bright and early, looking super paranoid about how they will get to the end, given there are just days remaining. Kaelan was downplaying his progressive rise in power to Myles, saying the more challenges he won, the more scared he became. While AJ and Zara were busy talking about how paranoid Myles and Kaelan are. Particularly the latter, given he has won so many immunity challenges he is now convinced he will be booted the instant he doesn’t win. AJ assured Zara he is finally ready to get rid of Morgan and Kate, before going to catch up with the boys and while they quickly locked in said Kate vote, Myles reiterated to us that he has an idol and will gladly use it to blindside Kaelan should the opportunity arise. The wrinkle being that he would need Morgan’s help.

As such, Myles caught up with Morgan who promptly figured out that he would be looking to get rid of Kaelan ASAP. She immediately jumped onboard his plan, happy to make peace and get him out. Though given he had no answer when she asked what happens if he wins immunity, Kaelan is totally winning immunity right? Myles then shared his ideal final three is him, AJ and Zara, given they would both take him to the end. As such, he also floated the Kaelan plan with Zara, with her happy to get rid of him, given he clearly has no intention of letting her get near the final challenge and as such, she was onboard with Myles and Morgan’s plan.

With all that talk, the tribe met up with JLP for the immunity challenge – where Kaelan will break the individual immunity win record, right? – where they will leap off a platform in the water and race through a series of obstacles to collect balls before arriving on shore and using a stick to push all the balls up a ramp and into a basket. Kaelan obviously got out to a massive lead, while AJ, Morgan and Myles worked hard to close the gap. While Myles’ bold strategy helped him close the gap, Kaelan quickly got his eye in and landed his first ball. Myles tied things up just before Kaelan almost landed his second ball, before dropping and handing Myles the lead. The pressure then started to get to Kaelan who dropped a few more times, before Myles dropped, allowing Kaelan enough time to catch up and score himself his record-breaking sixth individual immunity.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Kaelan on his historic win. Well except for Kate and Morgan, who realised that there was now no chance that both of them would survive the night. While the plan was firmly set on getting rid of Kate for being a threat, AJ shared with us that Morgan was the bigger threat to his game and as such, he wanted to get rid of her instead. He pulled Zara and Kaelan aside and tried to point out their best move was for Kate and Morgan to vote for each other, hoping that Morgan would go. Sadly he said that out loud, which made Zara nervous, given Kate is her biggest threat and she needs her to go ASAP. Despite being told not to say anything, AJ obviously caught up with Kate and told her that the only way to guarantee her safety tonight was to vote for Morgan. Sadly for him, it made her burst into tears at the thought of turning on her ally.

He obviously realised he screwed up, so caught up with Kaelan by the well and tried to convince him that Myles came up with the Kate plan. Hilariously, though, Kaelan pointed out that he and Zara actually wanted her out, given she can beat them in endurance challenges. Though bless AJ, he quickly pointed out that Myles thinks he can beat Morgan at final tribal council and as such, they need to get rid of her so he has no other option but to stick with them. Kaelan then pulled Zara aside to get her onboard with getting rid of Morgan. Zara being Zara, she immediately shut Kaelan down and pointed out that AJ consistently changes up the vote last minute to benefit his game and his alone, so she was not having it. And that seemed to calm Kaelan.

AJ meanwhile was busy talking to Kate, assuring her that he is desperately trying to save her over Morgan. Sadly for him, Kaelan and Zara were watching him talk to Kate. This made Zara irate, approaching AJ and telling him that she is not voting for Morgan tonight and Kate has to go. She pointed out all the reasons why she found her to be the biggest threat, before adding that she is also concerned that when Kate is emotional, AJ just does what she wants. AJ pointed out that Morgan going home is the only thing that keeps Myles from flipping on them and in turn, keeps Kaelan safe. Which Zara hilariously pointed out wasn’t best for her. They both eventually landed on the fact that Zara is more concerned about Kaelan being in the game at the final four, while AJ can only focus on Myles. And finally, things are clearer.

Myles caught up with Kate, telling her that he is sad Kaelan won immunity today, while Kate started to cry about potentially voting out Morgan. The duo then caught up in the hammock, sobbing to be broken up, as Morgan encouraged Kate to just vote her out as it will ruin their plans, which is a win in itself. Kate was confused about what she was saying, with Morgan astutely pointing out that she can’t win and as such, she’d rather fuck with the Brains’ plans and help Kate make it one more round. That was enough, however, to inspire them to make one final pitch to get rid of Myles, with Kate pulling Kaelan aside to point out that he needs to make a big move if he wants to win the game. And blindsiding Myles could just be that big move.

At tribal council Kaelan shared how proud he was to take out his sixth immunity and most importantly, keep his alliance strong by keeping it out of their rivals’ hands. AJ wanted to see the streak run longer so the record could never be broken, while Kate pointed out that Kaelan is beatable – she has proven it multiple times – though he is clearly well rounded. Myles spoke about how close he came to winning and as such, isn’t concerned about Kaelan winning every single challenge. Because now people are more hungry to target him should he lose. Kaelan agreed it is stressful to think about losing, though is planning to ride the momentum as long as he possibly can. Myles mentioned that at some point, Kaelan winning immunity could become an inconvenience for his game, though it isn’t a problem yet. And his focus is still on getting rid of Morgan and Kate.

Morgan hilariously pointed out she spent the afternoon napping, given she and Kate are willing numbers, and it is honestly up to the others to make use of them at this point. Kate then accused everyone of playing it too safe to get to the top five, pointing out it is easier to make a big move with two extra votes rather than one. And they will end up losing the chance to actually make a move if they waste time. Zara cautioned that they have all made so many moves to get here, while Myles suggested the timing isn’t right for a move. This time the yet was implied. AJ mentioned it only makes sense if you want to make the chessboard look different, otherwise, they shouldn’t make a move and just ride it out.

Kate spoke about feeling like a sitting duck, which led to JLP announcing that tonight would be a little different. Someone would be voted out, but not before the remaining five vulnerable people competed in a second immunity challenge. No doubt to improve the odds for the Brawns. With that, everyone pivoted to the challenge where they would hold a rope to balance a platform and walk along a balance beam to build a house of cards on the rickety platform. The first to reach a marker winning, or whoever was highest after 45 minutes. AJ was the first to have a big stack, while Myles powered ahead with Kate nipping at his heels. The duo were neck and neck for the rest of the challenge, centimetres from the marker when Myles dropped, opening it up for Kate to slowly work away before she too dropped. Morgan was then in the lead before she dropped, putting AJ in front, with him dropping right on cue. While Kate and Zara quietly worked away and just hoped to be the highest at the end of 45 minutes, slowly backing behind the line before Zara dropped a single block at the very last minute, handing Kate the second immunity.

They returned to tribal council where the jury were delighted to see Kate take out immunity, though she was smart enough to know that while she is safe tonight, she will go back to the bottom tomorrow. And this time it will be worse, as she will be without Morgan. Myles admitted he just wanted to win to keep immunity out of their hands, while Zara suggested she would happily make a move if it was good. Kate once again whispered to Zara about who she would vote for, with her suggesting Myles would be her choice. Morgan meanwhile was confident they just wouldn’t make a move, while AJ reminded us that there were also advantages out there that everyone was being mindful of.

With that the tribe finally voted and despite hope that the women would once again come out on top, the Postgraduates everyone stood firm as Morgan was booted from the game. Despite forgoing final words and Jury Villa, Morgan was thrilled to see we waiting for her before she jumped in a cab to the airport home. I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her how proud of her I was, and while the audience wasn’t shown how much of an icon she was, the fact she left on her own terms, kinda proves it right? In any event, she loved her pre-departure Pineapple and Morglamb Mitchellow Curry.

Pineapple is one of the more controversial things to include on pizza, so I assume the stigma carries over to curry – but hear me out, this is incredible. While I only tried this recipe because I had some lamb lying around after the spitroast reward – not the kind I was thinking – the earthiness of the lamb and the sweet-sour pineapple just work.

Enjoy!

Pineapple and Morglamb Mitchellow Curry
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, sliced
⅓ cup yellow curry paste
750g lamb, diced
2 cups chicken stock
1 red capsicum, seeded and sliced 
2 cups pineapple, diced
400ml unsweetened coconut milk
2 tbsp fish sauce
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
rice, coriander and shallots, to serve

Method
Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and once nice and hot, add the onions and sweat for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the curry paste and cook it off for a minute before adding the lamb and browning for a couple of minutes. Stir in the chicken stock, bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes.

Once the meat is nice and soft, uncover and return to medium heat. Stir in the capsicum, pineapple, coconut milk, fish sauce and sugar, and simmer for 5 minutes to allow all the flavours to come together and the sauce to thicken slightly.

Serve over a bed of rice, with a sprinkle of coriander and shallots, and devour your way, in honour of Morgs!


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Kitty Cake Blomfield

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Baking, Cake, Dessert, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Kirby and Ri were left right out, with Kirby in particular feeling the heat for the very first time. Thankfully, she wasn’t ready to lie down just yet. She approached Feras and told him that she wants to beat the best and as such, promised that she would take him, Ri or Kitty at the end. Sadly, including the other two made her safe, but moved the target to them as Feras decided Ri was now expendable. After Kirby jagged immunity, she finally started to worry about losing her gal pal, so tried to woo the women to pick off the men instead. Sadly for her, Caroline and Kitty were more focused on building a resume and Feras was extremely convincing in telling them that Rianna was the best way to do it and as such, joined him to get rid of her.

Back at camp the mood was, let’s just say, intense as Kirby tried to pretend she was cool with things, asking who is claiming the move for their resume with a tone that felt like she was wielding a machete. And then when Caroline and Kitty tried to sell it as a group move, she burst out laughing. Kirby then pointed out that it is now three versus three down OG tribal lines, with the Titans laughing that that is definitely not the case. Kirby went for a wander as Feras and Ray joined the Titans, telling them that all will be good if they stick together. So not to worry. As they clearly started to worry.

The next day everyone was feeling every single one of those 42 days on the island, building a fire through the pain and at least trying to vibe. As Kirby sassed them all out for stabbing her in the back. Sadly for her, nobody really cared that she was pressed by Ri’s departure, since it was only making them more likely to knife her. After a brief interlude where she almost cut off Mark’s fingers, she caught up with Kitty to make her feel guilty for turning on Ri before going hunting for an idol. Feras followed her to catch up, with Mark nervous about the two Rebels being out there together, so sent Kitty as a spy. Sadly for her, however, they both knew she was there and as such, nothing wild could actually happen. Kitty then reminded Kirby that she will clearly have the best argument at final tribal council, as she in turn told Kitty that she, Kirby, will never win an endurance challenge, so can be taken out whenever, so what is the rush?

Given everyone else was out hunting, Caroline joined the fun to lessen the likelihood of Kirby getting it. With her quickly snatching the idol, vowing to use it wisely and build her resume. While also making sure nobody knows about it.

The tribe met up with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would have to build a tower on the end of a wobbly apparatus, walking back and forth hoping not to trip and knock the tower over. Feras dropped on his first walk, as Kirby and Ray got out to a small lead. To be fair though, it was pretty neck and neck outside of Feras, with everyone dropping at least once. Kirby had the lead, then Ray and finally Kitty, before she dropped and it went back to Kirby and Mark powering ahead. Kirby then knocked off a couple of blocks that she felt were problematic, leaving Mark and Kitty in front as Feras just kept dropping over and over again. Until Kirby ultimately put them all out of their misery as she placed her final block and made it back to the end of the course to jag her third immunity.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Kirby as Mark started to stress about being the new target. To save himself, he decided he would just join any majority that presented itself. And what do you know, Kirby, Feras and Ray were keen to work with him to get rid of Kitty given she is now unbeatable in an endurance challenge with Ri gone. Caroline meanwhile was hoping to use her idol to make another big move and as such, wanted to work with Kitty to finally get that revenge on Mark. She then caught up with Kirby, asking if she would be interested in working together to get rid of Mark, with Kirby quickly agreeing to jump onboard. They then pulled Feras aside to see if he and Ray would be interested in taking him out, and two minutes later, there was a new locked in plan. Caroline then shared with us that she planned to play her idol for Mark, idoling out Feras instead. And while it is a solid plan, I struggle to see Feras not playing his idol for himself if the supposed target has an idol played for them. But whatever.

Caroline started to feel super confident, hoping to wipe the smug look off Alex’s face at tribal council when she single handedly gets rid of Feras. She decided to lock in Mark to ensure they can keep it together without telling Kitty, given she cannot lie. Speaking of Feras, he was busy catching up with Kirby as they laughed it up and lived their best lives. He doubled down, wanting to go to the end with her, agreeing that they truly are the best two out there this season. Sadly for him, he felt the best idea would be to take out Mark over Kitty. Thankfully for him, Kirby felt Kitty was the bigger threat and tried to pressure him to change his mind. Particularly since the Titans appear to be arrogant, despite the deadlock.

At tribal council Kirby explained that she came to play the game as hard as possible, and if people won’t help her make moves, she will just battle for immunity instead. Mark meanwhile was disappointed to have fallen short at the challenge, but is still confident he can find a way to the end. While Caroline spoke about the importance of having a healthy level of nerves, while Mark reiterated that the jury wants big moves, so you need confidence to make them. Feras admitted he was sure that he doesn’t have all the information at the tribal council, with Kirby giggling about having the necklace and not having to worry about whatever blows up either way. Kitty reminded them that Kirby is unbeatable according to Alex, with her joking about Kirby making it all the way to the end on immunities alone, which lead to some side eye from Kirby and Feras.

Kitty admitted she could end up surprised and go to the jury, while Ray pointed out that while Kirby has won multiple immunities, it ultimately makes her more of a threat, meaning the longer she does survive, the bigger the target gets. While Kirby pointed out that Alex already made her a massive threat, so you best believe she is going to keep trying to win. Mark spoke about his fears that he will get votes tonight, Kitty said she was nervous while Caroline said nobody should feel safe unless they have a necklace. Though she was pretty confident her plan was going to happen. With that the tribe voted and Caroline played her idol for Mark, while the Rebels stuck together and blindsided Kitty from the game.

Given Kitty isn’t the best liar and has spent the entire game vibing, she was completely fine with being booted. Probably the least phased person I have ever cooked for, TBH, and that is why I love her. She was out there to have fun, she tried her best, beasted challenges and then gladly dipped to the jury when it was her time. So I was pretty damn pleased to reward her with a big ol’ Kitty Cake Blomfield.

Yes, this is literally just the iconic AWW cat birthday cake. But rest assured, Kitty did not get yellow cake mix for this filling. Use whatever cake recipe you like – I went with a Vania Vainilla Cake aka Milk Bar’s Birthday Cake – but bake it in two round cake tins, and decorate with your favourite lollies. It is truly perfect at any age.

Enjoy!

Kitty Cake Blomfield
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 batch Vania Vainilla Cake, cooked in a 20cm and 23cm round tins
1 batch Vania Vainilla Cake frosting
food colouring to make whatever colours you want your puss
Jujubees, musk sticks, mint leaves or any other lollies you enjoy, for decorating 

Method
So yes, this is less a recipe and more construction instructions, but whatever. In any event, Cut about an inch off an edge off each cake to create one flat side. Pop a little bit of icing on a cake board and position the two cakes on the board with the flat sides lined up. Cut up the offcuts of the two cakes to form ears, and position them on the top of the smaller cake.

Split the icing into two bowls – about half a cup in one, the rest in the other – and colour them as desired. Use the bigger batch to icing the cat, and the smaller portion to make a circle belly and the inside of the ears.

Using the lollies, fashion eyes, a nose and whiskers, and a little mouth and tongue. Use a long lolly to do a tail and then, honestly, just go nuts decorating with lollies to bring your inner child joy. And then devour, overwhelmed with soothing nostalgia.


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Simonscow Meeule

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Nina told George that Hayley told her about his cash prize, setting the stage for her blindside at the hands of her runner-up. After Liz took out an epic overnight spa reward, she locked in a final three deal with her guests, George and Nina, which TBH, gives off big Russell, Parvati and Sandra energy, so I am all in on it. After Simon won yet another immunity, the tribe locked in the plan to blindside Hayley. Not to be outdone, Hayley meanwhile was rallying Simon to join her to blindside George. Sadly for her, Nina wasn’t on board with said plan which meant Queen Hayley was tragically felled from the competition. This time without exile in sight to save her.

The next day George, Matt, Gerry and Nina woke up to watch the sunrise together with George disappointed to have lost his biggest rival though he was confident in his chances to make it to the end. Since he has two final three deals, because that sort of behaviour never comes back to blindside you. Particularly when you eliminated the two other massive threats coming into the season. Simon meanwhile was still left right out, though bless, openly told the tribe that he has absolutely nothing to lose and as such, if people need a number, they need to pull him in before it is too late. He then admitted to us that he may have bumbled through the post-merge, but it has actually left him in a good position as everyone underestimates him which could give him a different narrative to pitch the jury.

After filling up on some coconut, he went to the shore to talk to Matt, telling him that they need to talk sooner rather than later if he wants to make a move on George. While Matt was quiet, Simon powered ahead and told him that he is nothing more than George’s pawn and it is very obvious that is what the jury thinks of him, so he will not win unless he does something. Which is 100% correct. As Simon gave Gerry the same pitch, Matt reported back to George and while the latter pretended it was not the case, he laughed to us in confessional that that is all Matt is. Simon returned to camp to openly call everyone pawns for just mindlessly following George. This annoyed Liz who told Simon his actions have left him on the bottom and that is why she will never work with him before storming off, telling him she can’t deal with him anymore.

Poor Matt meanwhile broke down in confessional, admitting Simon’s words had gotten to him because he truly believes what he is saying and that he doesn’t know how to prove himself in the game. We then got another little personal story of Matt being away from his pregnant wife and that while he is struggling, he wants to focus so he can win the money for his family. So maybe he is ready to make a move after all? Feeling hurt to have been left out of the Hayley blindside, Matt approached Gerry to float the fact he thinks George made a deal with Nina and Liz at the reward and as such, he is wary of them as a rival trio, given George has a history of turning on his allies before they can get him. Deciding Simon is his best shot, Matt pulled him and Nina aside to float the idea of working together at the next vote, hoping Simon isn’t immune so the tribe is distracted by him. With Matt just begging Simon not to screw him over and tell George.

Which is either exactly what happens, or we’re finally getting the blindside.

The tribe joined with Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge where they would have to stand on narrow pedestals and keep a hand on an idol with the last person standing winning.  So yeah, the iconic Hands on a Hard Idol challenge, but with individual stations. After 15 minutes JLP got bored and told them to move down to their narrowest pegs which instantly cost George his place, followed closely by Nina. The remaining four made it to 45 minutes before Jonathan made things even harder, making everyone spread across the two furthest apart pegs before Liz slipped out nowhere leaving Matt, Gerry and Simon to battle it out. After an hour and twenty minutes, Simon slipped off while stretching before the duo opted to go down to a single foot to speed up the challenge, ultimately costing Gerry and handing immunity to Matt.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Matt on his win, barely able to contain their excitement to finally be able to get rid of Simon. He thankfully is a resilient king, asking the tribe if anyone wants to tell him where to put his vote, with George calmly telling him no. While he tried to talk to Matt, George pulled him and Gerry aside to try and keep things chaotic between his two alliances, locking in a split between Nina and Simon. George then dropped by the girls, telling Nina to put a single vote on Gerry just in case. Gloating to us about how making it a 2-2-1-1 vote will guarantee his safety, when in fact, it looks to have overcomplicated things. Simon and Matt finally caught up with the latter suggesting now would actually be the right time to blindside George and hot damn, is this about to get very exciting as George’s arrogance comes back to bite him?

While Matt was being genuine, poor Simon has grown wary of always being sold a decoy plan and as such, wanted to check in with Nina. Matt and George went idol hunting, giggling around as besties while Nina cautioned Simon about trusting Matt, floating the idea of instead targeting Gerry given they have all heard the plans to get rid of George before. And they have all been lies fed to them by his closest allies. George started to grow paranoid that something was afoot, so caught up with Nina and Matt with Nina accidentally talking about throwing a vote on Gerry. Which immediately made Matt concerned that George is telling everyone lies – he is – and more convinced than ever that he needs to take the shot at George.

At tribal council Matt spoke about how he laughed through the challenge, though admitted it was still painful. Simon meanwhile was terrified given he is no longer immune, with George pointing out that he is only still here because of his immunity, before cautioning everyone else that the end is in sight and everyone needs to focus on finding a clear path to make it to the end and not get distracted. Nina meanwhile wasn’t sure if she could trust what she has been told at this point, with Matt agreeing he isn’t sure what exactly to trust as Liz spoke about everyone flipping and getting antsy. Just as Nina and Simon whispered in the middle.

Gerry on the other hand was solid with his alliance and ready to ride things out, while Nina was worried about figuring out what her best choice was. While Matt just wanted to make the right choice for him moving forward, rather than someone else, as Simon laughed about not even having that luxury. Talk turned to resumes, with Nina pointing out that an extensive resume may help at the end, but it also makes you a massive threat to getting there. Simon started to whisper to Matt about flipping, while George whispered to Liz about being scared that they’ve lost Matt. He then went hard about it being unwise to throw away trust this late in the game, while Nina said that action is the only thing that matters at this point. George and Liz then spoke Russian – iconic – and flipped their votes on to Nina as Matt and Simon gave each other looks and Gerry was just left right out.

With that the tribe voted before Jonathan gagged them with the information that the two highest vote getters would not be voted out, instead going into Survivor isolation. Aka locked in a pen away from camp, only eating and drinking what people are willing to deliver them, unable to  communicate with anyone unless they visit and worst of all, unable to compete in the next immunity challenge and only should they survive the next vote, they return to camp as normal. Five votes then piled up on Nina with her solitary vote dooming Gerry to join him, meaning shit is about to hit the fan.

Back at camp Gerry and Nina made their way to – triggering language warning – iso, where Gerry questioned how she ended up with five votes, given that was not the plan. Nina obviously had no clue, outlining to Gerry that she was told to vote for him by George, as the plan was meant to be Simon, though Gerry was clearly a back-up. And while he doesn’t usually trust people talking smack about George, he believed Nina instantly and was ready to bring him down. Speaking of George, he was busy explaining how the vote switched to Nina and while Liz felt Gerry would be angry, Matt assured them they had nothing to worry about. Right on cue, it appeared he did have something to worry about as Nina continued to spill secrets to Gerry, outing the jacuzzi alliance. As the duo were talking in their cage, Simon dropped by to check in on them, wondering how in the hell he was still in the game. He pointed out that Gerry is clearly on the bottom and he needs to make a move, as George loitered in the trees eavesdropping. Just as Gerry ominously assured them that when you cross him, he will bounce you.

The next day George was rightly super rattled, so as the duo slept he dropped by isolation to deliver them a chair to sit on. After returning to camp he continued to spiral, with Liz very much warning him and Matt that they need to keep Gerry happy as Nina is scorned and has information that is powerful enough to flip the game. George returned to take credit for the chair as Matt and Liz joined him to make sure they actually kept him happy. George explained that he just got nervous at tribal council and thought Matt was going to be blindsiding Gerry, so flipped to save him. And while Gerry appeared to believe George’s lies, Nina rightly pointed out George was only saying things to get that exact reaction and as such, he needs to stop trusting and make a move against him. As all he cares about is winning. 

The remaining four dropped by JLP where they would have to stack blocks around a hanging table while rotating it to feed through a window, with the first to knock them all the way around like dominoes taking out immunity. Simon obviously got out to an early lead while Liz, Matt and George continuously dropped theirs. As he got further and further along, Simon began to slow allowing Matt to close the gap while George and Liz both discovered that they had placed theirs too closely. Simon and Matt also discovered they had spaced theirs too closely as they raced to spread them out further, before Matt knocked his over just ahead of Simon, snatching immunity by a literal second. As George assured Simon they would talk later.

Back at camp Nina was mentally preparing Gerry for the fact she is the plan and he just needs to convince them he is on board, with her working on Simon and Gerry responsible for getting Matt over the line to blindside George. As the other four returned, Simon was left alone as George, Matt and Liz locked in a plan to split the vote on Simon and Nina, assuring them that he would not get nervous and change his mind again. George looped in Simon, assuring him that Nina is the plan though admitted the split will be on him, with Simon happily locked in with George given he knows he really has no options at all. Or so he thought.

George dragged Matt to isolation to get Gerry on board with repeating the original plan from the last tribal council to get rid of Nina but split on Simon. Nina being a wise icon, after the duo departed, she pointed out that George made Matt do all the talking given the fact Gerry doesn’t exactly trust him. While Matt was busy back at the shelter warning George that something felt off, given Gerry was actively trying to protect Nina. Simon was next to drop by isolation, straight up floating the plan to get rid of George, while he in turn spiralled to Liz about the fact that he could cop three votes and should that happen, he will go home. Matt then dropped by with Gerry only keen to make a move if his bestie is on board and while it seemed like the vote against George might actually happen, Matt was still nervous about making a move. Knowing the tides were turning, George dropped by to assure Gerry that he is his number one ally and that after playing 90 days in a row, he is honestly at the point he is just happy to come third. And no Gerry, make a move, don’t fall for it.

At tribal council Gerry spoke about how he enjoyed bonding with Nina while in isolation while Nina agreed it was great to reflect on everything that has happened in the game and focus on what is really happening. Gerry meanwhile had George bricking it, talking about how long it takes to build trust but warning that it can be broken very quickly. George jumped in and told the narrative that he flipped the vote to Nina to try and save Gerry, rather than himself, while Simon just smiled about having once again narrowly avoided certain doom. Nina spoke about the fact George has been on edge all day, meaning the panic wasn’t an isolated incident. Which was only made worse when Matt said he was ready to make moves that benefit only his endgame.

Simon hilariously opened up about the fact he called three players left in the game pawns, telling everyone that way too many are playing for George’s win rather than their own. Before outlining said pawns were Gerry, Matt and Liz. He told them that now is one of the last moments to make a move ahead of final tribal council and given it is a life changing amount of money, they need to play to win. Sadly his plea angered Gerry, who explained that Gerry is not a pawn, instead George has acted as a coach and mentor and he is grateful to him for everything he has learnt in the game. While Nina hilariously whispered to Simon that Gerry is clearly not going to be voting for George.

With that the tribe voted piling up 3-3 on Nina and Simon before George finally got his wish on the revote, eliminating his nemesis Simon. Who was obviously an absolute delight, thanking his fellow competitors and praising them on a game well played. As he arrived at the Jury Villa, he was rightly applauded for carrying the season on his shoulders. I mean sure, he had to follow my screaming, heartbroken cries to find Jury Villa, but once he found it, I pulled him in for a massive hug – the kind he would climb Shaun to give – and thanked him for keeping us fed week after week. And by us, I mean the gays. His storyline was honestly iconic, starting out as the cocky alpha before being humbled and becoming a hilarious, happy and self-aware king who earned his place as one of the greats. So great, in fact, I felt bad I could only offer him a Simonscow Meeule to toast his success.

Like Simon, this spicy little number is an absolute delight. Packing the classic warmth and punch of a moscow mule, the addition of chilli adds just enough interest to keep us engaged (or enraged, from the heat).

Enjoy!

Simonscow Meeule
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ cup vodka
⅓ cup lime juice
2 cups ginger beer
ice, to serve
1 long red chilli, sliced on the diagonal
mint leaves, to serve

Method
Combine the vodka, lime juice and ginger beer in a jug and stir to combine.

Add some ice to four tumblers, followed by some chilli and mint before filling each glass with the gingery liquor. Then down and repeat as required until you accept you’re now an icon. Just like Shonee.


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Jordie Hoisin Spring Rolls

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Main, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor David finally lived up to his juicy name as he relished his role as the swing vote. After promising to take the girls with her to an overnight spa reward, Jordie convinced Shay to make herself a target instead as she opted to take him and Josh with her. And oh girl, Chrissy was angry to miss out on the pampering and KJ once again, was ready to get rid of Shay. Josh dominated at the immunity challenge before joining up with Jordie to finally flush (one of) Mark’s idol(s) while blindsiding Dave so that Josh could keep Jordie thinking they were nice and bloody tight.

Back at camp the tribe were thankfully not feeling intense for once, with Jordie and Shay thrilled to still be in the game and to have blindsided Dave. Well Jordie was thrilled by all but the fact KJ tried to vote him out on the revote and as such, pulled her aside to see where they stood. KJ explained that she assumed everyone was coming for him and as such, she was sticking with what she assumed were the numbers. And while that is logical, it also made Jordie nervous about what she and Mark may do next since everyone else appears to be on his side.

The next day Chrissy was shocked by how much she was loving her time in the bush, enjoying the rice and bean life before she straight up brutalising a tree knot in the ground that she stubbed her toe on. While Chrissy was thriving, Mark was fading fast, exhausted by the game and unsure whether he can trust Josh much longer. But sadly for him, he has no other option should he want to get rid of Jordie.

Speaking of Jordie, he was opening up about getting a lot of smiles from Jesse at tribal council, though he felt like Jesse could tell he was nervous about the revote. Jordie then opened up to us about how he has played the best game of anyone remaining and was confident in his chances should he make it to the end. Which totally means he is going tonight, right? He caught up with Josh, with them each pledging their allegiance to the other again. While Josh weighed up whether it was better to go to the end with Jordie or Mark. When I would argue, it is with neither.

The tribe met up with Jonathan for the final six immunity challenge where they would each race through a bunch of complex obstacles before swinging to a frame, untying a ladder, climbing up and over a tower before unlocking a treasure chest and, yes, solving a puzzle. Jordie got out to the earliest of leads while Mark and Josh tried to stay in the game. And Chrissy was just confused about how to get over her frame. Eventually Jordie, Mark, Josh and Shay all made it to the puzzle while KJ and Chrissy tried to keep each other motivated. Mark then started to pull away on the puzzle, which led to Jordie and Shay starting to copy off him before Chrissy straight up stopped doing her puzzle and instead started helping Josh solve his. Which proved enough to give him immunity once again.

Back at camp Josh was feeling super confident now that he was immune, weighing up whether to go to the final three with Jordie or whether he should try and regain some trust with Mark. Jordie meanwhile was also feeling super confident, given it is their last chance to burn Mark’s idol and as such, everyone would be stupid not to take the shot. Mark meanwhile washed off his defeat before going to hunt around the bush with Josh. Mark’s pitch to the tribe was to load up the votes on Jordie to get rid of him so that he can keep his idol for the next round. Which, dude, is only good for you and nobody else. Sadly though, KJ saw merit in getting rid of Jordie and as such Mark dropped by Josh and Chrissy to lock in the vote against him. Despite the fact Mark still didn’t know whether he could trust Josh.

Jordie and Shay meanwhile were tending fire by the camp before catching up with Josh to float the idea of getting rid of Mark. While Jordie straight up assured him that he will definitely go to the top four with him should he win immunity in the next round, Josh still was unsure and erring on the side of keeping Mark. This made Jordie feel nice and nervous, so he approached Chrissy to try and convince her that at least flushing Mark’s idol is their only move. Which she seemed very interested in following through on. Well, if Josh was ok with the idea too. As such, Jordie tried to keep Mark calm so pitched a fake plan to vote out Shay in the hopes of making him not play his idol.

At tribal council Jordie spoke about the ever more blurred lines within the tribe, though admitted that the closer they get to the end the harder it is to trust people given they all want to get to the end. Mark admitted that Jordie approached him during the day and even had pitched some good ideas, while Josh reiterated that he and Jordie had been working well together for the last few rounds. Jordie spoke about the fact they need to focus on keeping people around that aren’t threatened by you while Mark shared that if he has a second idol, it may come into play tonight. Which Chrissy admitted she didn’t believe. 

Mark once again told her that he definitely doesn’t have an idol, while Jordie suggested that should Mark have an idol he could only hold on to it if he could find a plan that he trusts. Josh admitted that while he and Jordie have trusted each other, the closer they get to the end the harder it is to see clearly while Mark reiterated that he is focused on moving forward in the game with people he can trust. Josh meanwhile debated whether to stick with those he can trust or make a move with those he thinks he has a better shot against. Oh and whether it is important to vote out people that could likely win the final immunity. Like Shay.

With that the tribe voted before Mark made a massive song and dance about playing Jesse’s idol and using it to knock out Jordie. Which would have been good if he received any votes at all, instead he just looked like a smug man that misplayed an idol. As Sam looked enraged that Mark literally wasted all of her hard work, which is essentially heterosexual relationships. No?

As Jordie arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled him in for a hug and thanked him for trying his darndest to keep the season interesting by giving us such a compelling underdog. Plus, I am a sucker for a man in overalls – Luke Perry in early 90210, swoon – so I congratulated him on a game well played, laughed over Mark’s idol faux pas and then smashed a tonne of Jordie Hoisin Spring Rolls.

Fresh, sweet and packing a hidden kick, these babies are so damn good with an icy cold beer after more than 40 days living in the bush. Or you know, whenever, because they don’t need an excuse.

Enjoy!

Jordie Hoisin Spring Rolls
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
400g chicken breast, cooked and shredded
1 bunch shallots, sliced
1 carrot, grated
⅓ cup hoisin sauce
1 tsp chilli flakes
3 tbsp flour
16 x 20cm spring roll wrappers
vegetable oil, for brushing

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Combine the shredded chicken, shallots, carrot, hoisin and chilli flakes in a large bowl. Then, mix the flour in a small bowl with three tablespoons of water to form a paste.

To assemble, place a wrapper on a clean bench and spoon 1-2 tablespoons of mixture along the edge. Fold the bottom over to form a sausage, then fold in the sides and roll up the spring roll. Smearing with a little bit of the flour and water mixture at the end before sealing. Repeat until all the spring rolls are made.

Pop them on a lined baking sheet, brush with vegetable oil and pop in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Devour with some more hoisin or chilli. Or you know, whatever sauce floats your boat.


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Dani Bubbeale Coffee

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Dani and Andrew tried to get their revenge after Emmett was blindsided. His plan? To win every immunity and get rid of George. As you can imagine, he didn’t win immunity as Hayley scored her second in a row which set in motion the plan to get rid of Andrew. Well, Hayley, George and Cara did while Wai wasn’t sure she could betray Andrew again and ultimately vote him out. Wai however stuck with them and he was booted from the game. But obviously, there was a twist, as Jonathan let Andrew pick one of four urns with one containing a scroll announcing him as safe and returning him to the game. Which he didn’t pick, instead sending him to join the jury. Officially.

The next morning Wai was shocked that she had made it to Day 40 while the tribe hung out, exhausted and pondering how much harder the game is getting each and every day. Wai was still feeling guilty to have voted out her friend Andrew, despite the fact George told her that he was gunning for her. And while she did believe it in the moment, she also knows that George needs to go ASAP.

Speaking of George, he was thrilled to be the last man standing. Particularly since he is in control of the tribe. Just not in control of his washing, as poor Dani tried to explain how to wring out clothes. Oh and to continue her boss ways, she then grabbed a massive stump that George was struggling to pick up, lobbed it over her shoulder and dazzled Wai with her strength.

After Wai gushed about how inspirational she finds Dani, the two of them joined Flick and Hayley by the water in the hope of forming an alliance together and, you guessed it, take control of the game. That being said, George and Cara soon joined them and any strategy chat was shut down. But best believe Dani is going to try wooing them before the next tribal council because Cara and George are a lost cause and she refuses to go home this early.

The tribe met up with Jonathan for the next immunity challenge where they would each have to race out in the water to a pontoon, climb a ladder to retrieve some balls, swim some more, grab some more balls, race over an obstacle and get to the end and toss two balls into a goal for victory. As everyone leaped into the water, Wai stayed put on the pontoon and forfeited the challenge while Hayley and Flick powered into the lead. George’s fear of heights got the better of him as he gave up on the challenge while the other four battled for safety. Flick started to pull away as Hayley tried to hold pace with Dani and Cara nipping at her heels. Flick and Hayley desperately started to shoot their baskets, though quickly ran out of balls before Dani arrived and scored her first point. Hayley and Cara then scored a basket each before Dani returned and put everyone out of their misery by taking out the win.

Back at camp George was far less confident than before, given that Dani’s immunity means Flick is their only option of going home. While there are still three saviour urns remaining, George is undeterred, given sticking to the top four is the best for George, Cara, Hayley and Wai. Though he does worry that they may have a change of heart at tribal council and to quote him most other episodes, his goose would be cooked. 

The foursome caught up by the billabong, with George getting more and more desperate as he tried to get them to stay targeting the Brawns. Which is honestly the thing that would encourage them to flip. George approached the Brawns to see who they were thinking of targeting, with Dani and Flick kind of just ignoring him. Instead, Flick suggested the duo approach Hayley and Wai and flip them to their side to get rid of George.

Hayley meanwhile admitted that she would be in however it was up to Flick and Dani to convince Wai. Which they did, barely even uttering a sentence.

Sadly for them, Cara was loitering near the shelter and as such approached George to fill him in on the potential issue, despite not actually hearing anything. With that, the duo tried to figure out the best plan of attack because George didn’t want Cara to burn her idol just yet. George decided that the best way to move forward was to talk to Wai and see where she is at. He implored Wai to stick with the sensible, stable option and deal with what happens at the top four when it happens.

Hayley meanwhile wanted to turn on George and get rid of him, though admitted that the urns make her nervous given she doesn’t want someone coming back into the game angry. As such, getting rid of Flick and having her return isn’t as dangerous as an angry George. Though if Flick came back, she is also a physical threat and could snatch immunity, meaning she could be the one going home.

At tribal council George delighted Jonathan and the jury by rocking Cara’s skirt and showing off his gams while also trying to fit in and avoid being booted. Dani meanwhile was thrilled to be immune, while Flick admitted that she is clearly the most likely to go. She did however point out that the four Brains are fractured and as such, it is a matter of when not if they are going to split. George assured them that there is safety in numbers and as such, the foursome know it is wise to stick together. Dani then made a questionable move, telling George that Hayley and Wai approached them today and were planning to boot him tonight. Throwing the two most likely people to align with her under the bus.

Wai admitted that she had a conversation but at the end of the day, conversations can be misdirection and they mean nothing until you vote. While Cara grew nervous, Wai spoke about the urns complicating things because you don’t want to make a move and have them blow up your games. Hayley agreed that they have definitely made her less likely to flip. This had the opposite effect, making Cara exceedingly more nervous while George just tried to reiterate the importance of staying stable until the urns are gone.

With that the tribe voted and Cara’s nerves got the better of herself as she played her hidden immunity idol for herself. Sadly for her, it was unnecessary as Hayley and Wai stuck with them and booted Flick from the game. Well, until she cracked her urn and found herself saved, returning to the game and finally putting an end to the non-elimination tribals for the season – huzzahs all round!

I mean, if there are two non-eliminations in play each season, can’t we just permanently include Redemption Island and call it a day? I know it can be sucky, but at least every single person has equal opportunity that way. Rant over.

The next day the tribe were gagged to experience outback rain, with George glad to finally tick off another Survivor experience. Dani meanwhile was growing even more annoyed by George, going for a wander with Flick to get out of camp. Flick thankfully was feeling lucky to still be in the game and as such, rallied the two of them to try and find and crack. And well, for Dani, she was still laser focused on getting rid of George. Speaking of George, he and the Brains trio were back at camp living their best lives unaware that Dani and Flick were going to continue their campaign to flip Wai and Hayley to their side.

George was frustrated that not only had Flick returned to the game, but that Cara wasted her idol leaving them vulnerable. Never mind the fact that it means another may be hidden. Oh and it shows that Cara didn’t trust Hayley and Wai enough to stick with her. While George chastised Cara in front of their other allies, Cara admitted that the urns made her absolutely mad with paranoia, apologised and all was forgiven. Right?

The tribe reconvened with Jonathan for the latest reward challenge where the top six would each have to swim out to collect a bag in the water, build a pole with the sticks inside said bag, release a key, unlock sandbags and then shoot said sandbags into a spinning target. Oh and it was for an overnight reward to a spa, so you just know they were gagging to win. Flick, Hayley and George got out to the slightest of leads, but they obviously all came together to build their poles. George was first to try and quickly snapped his pole, as did Hayley and Dani. After some slight adjustments, both Hayley and Dani tried again before Flick joined them as Hayley knocked her key off. 

Hayley quickly started trying to shoot her bags as Flick joined her. Hayley was first to land a sack, followed by Flick as George once again gave up in the challenge and instead opted to watch the battle. Dani eventually joined the others, quickly landing three bags in quick succession before Hayley and Flick tried to rally. But it was to no avail as Dani took out yet another reward. Obviously Jonathan told her that she’d be able to take someone to join her, opting to take Flick before Jonathan gave her one more pass to the spa. Which she quickly offered to Hayley, as George looked like he wanted to throw up.

The dolls arrived at their makeshift bush spa and immediately started gorging on everything in sight. That was until they saw a case with body wash, shampoo, conditioner and loofahs and they quickly got to work pampering themselves. Once they were all clean, they slipped into the spa and poured themselves a drink as they started to discuss the game. Obviously Dani and Flick quickly tried to flip Hayley to their side and while it seemed like it was a no brainer for her to flip at this point anyway, she admitted that Cara playing the idol at the last tribal council made her begin to lose trust in them.

The next day the spa trio were surprised with a fresh breakfast before immediately solidifying their new alliance, vowing to finally get rid of George.

Meanwhile back at camp, the remaining three were cold, starving and without a fire, while George was more concerned about Hayley flipping on them due to the reward. He and Cara went for a walk and while she assured him that Hayley is definitely still with them, he was nervous enough to truly fight for immunity rather than giving up in the next challenge.

Speaking of immunity, the groups reconnected with Jonathan where they learnt they would be battling in the biggest immunity challenge of the season. They would start tethered to a rope around a frame before they would unwind themselves enough to go over a series of obstacles to release a key to unlock themselves. They would then need to collect a bag of tiles, shoot the tiles into a goal AND then use the tiles to solve a word puzzle. Hayley got out to an early lead but was quickly joined by Dani and Flick, while poor Wai struggled to even hold a hammer.

This gave George the chance to overtake them before they all joined up at the final stage of the challenge. Dani and Hayley maintained the earliest of leads, getting to work on the puzzle before Flick and Cara joined them. Hayley quickly landed three words, while Dani placed two random ones and then all of a sudden, they came to a stand still before Wai finally arrived at the puzzle, whipped through it and took out individual immunity like an absolute queen. She then started sobbing, shocked by the fact she won immunity and damn, I just love her so much.

Back at camp everyone rallied around, congratulating Wai on her win and reminding her that she is a strong and powerful woman. Giddy, she caught up with Hayley to lock in their allegiance to each other and affirming themselves as ride or die. Meanwhile Dani and Flick were feeling vulnerable, but felt that things were in the best spot to flip the girls given Wai is safe enough to make a move and Hayley was already on board at reward. 

As Hayley worked Wai, Flick and Dani decided the best plan was to do a split vote if the girls are on their side, with George being their true target. After locking in the plan with the girls, Hayley caught up with George and Cara and were pitched the exact same plan, instead splitting the vote on Dani and Flick. Hayley obviously agreed that she was on board with this, keen to get rid of George’s target Dani.

While Hayley went for a relaxing swim, glad to not be on anyone’s radar, George and Cara got to work hunting for an idol. They were quickly joined by Dani and Flick, and while everyone gave up one by one, Flick persevered and found one, ready to finally get rid of George. After a quick celebration, the duo decided to keep their idol and secret from Hayley just in case.

Speaking of Hayley she was thrilled to be playing in the middle of the tribe and holding all the power in the upcoming vote. But with that power, comes nerves given she and Wai see it as the decision that will either win or lose them the game. On one hand, getting rid of George has proven very difficult and as such, this may be their only shot, while getting rid of Dani also eliminates a massive threat for the title. Oh and one of the two physical threats.

Both George and Flick started to get very nervous about tribal council, the former knowing that he will be in the one to go if they flip while Flick just second guessed whether she should just play the idol in case. And then third, fourth, fifth and sixth guessed it.

At tribal council the jury was gagged to see Wai wearing the immunity necklace with her admitted to being so shocked to have won. Dani meanwhile was nervous to be without the necklace before George admitted that both she and Flick are very threatening. George continued to lay it on thick before talk turned to Dani taking Hayley on the reward with her. Cara admitted it was a wise move, given Hayley is a known flipper and as such, was the smartest person to take. Hayley admitted that while Dani and Flick did try and woo her, the only person that is truly safe tonight in Wai. And only Wai.

This made George very nervous, imploring people to stick with the plan. Flick meanwhile got fiery, turning to the jury and saying that she wants to see the winner doing a combination of outwitting, outlasting and outplaying people and given George has quit in two challenges, she finds that disappointing and doesn’t want to reward him. This made George very angry, telling Flick that he has fought the entire game, persevering against all odds and she should stop playing the player and instead play the ball like he does. Dani jumped aboard the shade train before Hayley admitted that she will be voting with the people she wants to move forward with in the game. End. Of. Story.

With that the tribe voted, Flick held on to her idol and the votes were neatly split between Cara, Dani and Flick. The remaining three then re-voted and officially sent Dani from the game. Like the rest of this year’s cast – save maybe Benny – Dani was obviously a delight when we caught up in the Jury Villa, accepting that she was outplayed and ready to catch up with her dearest friend.

While we first met during one of my stints in prison, we formed a strong bond given I desperately needed to keep the guards on side for my survival. Dani being a queer icon, looked out for me and because of her, I fully committed to never grifting another soul on the boardwalk. As such, we’ve stayed in contact and regularly catch up to make sure I’m doing ok, while downing gallons of Dani Bubbeale Coffee.

Yeah, yeah – boba is great and all. But have you ever had damn BUBBLE COFFEE? It is perfect. Part Vietnamese coffee, part boba – this is sweet, refreshing and packs a punch. Just like my queen Dani.

Enjoy!

Dani Bubbeale Coffee
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
½ cup milk
⅓ cup condensed milk
¾ cup quick-cooking tapioca pearls
ice
4 cups cold brew coffee or in a pinch, coffee left to go cold

Method
Whisk together the milk and condensed milk in a jug and cook the tapioca pearls as per packet instructions, chilling in cold water for a couple of minutes.

Place ice in four glasses, top with some tapioca and pour coffee amongst them. Pour in the milk and condensed milk.

The down, filled with unending joy.


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Sarah Mozzarellacina Sticks

Cheese, Party Food, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, Tapas, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor after everyone flushed their idols at the last tribal council, Tony got up in the middle of the night to start his hunt. Sadly for him, the sun came up before he found it, leading the rest of the tribe to join him, where Natalie continued to Chris her return and snatched the idol out from under him. This spooked Ben, Sarah and Tony who worried she had found it, questioning what it would mean if she or Michele won immunity. The trio got lucky, however, as Tony secured his fourth win, moving the target onto Michele. Thankfully her run wasn’t meant to end there, as Ben told Sarah he wouldn’t mind if she voted him out, knowing it makes it that much easier for her to win the fire challenge and gives her a move that is all her own. And while it wasn’t really a move, given she had permission, she joined the girls and sent him to the jury.

We opened straight up at the final immunity challenge, high on a hill in Fiji, which provided an epic backdrop for an epic challenge where they each had to drop balls into a track at various intervals without dropping one at the other end. You know, the final immunity challenge that kicked off our Survivor coverage ten seasons ago. The one where Wentworth broke down in tears after losing Second Chances. And fun fact thanks to Probst, everyone that won this challenge as final immunity has gone on to win the game. So the stakes were just that little bit higher.

That being said, it isn’t great to recap given there is no telling how anyone is going. The final four all made it to three balls, however it was Tony that was the first to drop not long after. The women all made it to four balls which immediately took out Sarah, leaving the iconic Jersey girls to battle it out for immunity. And likely take the other to the end. Queens. Both made it to a record equaling five balls which proved to make it super tough on them, with Natalie saving herself multiple times before Michele dropped, handing Natalie final immunity after becoming the first boot. And honestly, I am so proud – she got Reem’s redemption!

Back at camp Natalie was thrilled to join the Amanda, Sandra, Parvati, Russel and Rob – and Sharn, I guess – club by making it to the final tribal council twice. Meanwhile the other three all dispersed to practice making fire, with Tony struggling and Michele, the icon, quickly building them. By the shore, Natalie was debating who was the best person to take with her to the end and more importantly, who she wanted to add winning the fire making challenge to their resume. While Michele was nervous, she was hopeful that she could win the challenge and more importantly, could claim a huge scalp in front of the jury just before final tribal. Echoing that sentiment, Sarah was hoping to go to the challenge, knowing how much it could do for her game. Plus, Tony is stuck in his head and as such, it may be an easy win for her.

At tribal council Natalie delighted the jury when they saw her wearing immunity, before she spoke about how dreamlike the scenario was, given it was the only thing that kept her going on Extinction. Michele spoke about how Natalie took time out after the challenge, leaving the other three to practice on fire instead which Michele did. Very successfully. Tony and Sarah were also full of bravado, before Sarah started to tear up talking about how she ultimately wants to face off against her ally and take him out, rather than someone else. Michele too wanted to be the one to take out Tony, which Natalie agreed is a big achievement, however she wasn’t willing to leave it to chance. Ultimately Natalie chose for Michele to be the next to join the double final tribal council club, leaving Cops R Us to battle it out for the final slot. And let’s be honest, it feels like the win.

With that Tony and Sarah sat down at the fire making stations and after some light smacktalk, got to work. Natalie and Michele quietly cheered Sarah on from the sidelines, while they both struggled to get a flame. Tony was the first to get fire, quickly building it with kindling in the hope that it took off. Sarah soon followed with a flame, following his strategy and honestly, it was neck and neck. Both were calm and methodical, as Sarah’s flame started to lick at the ropes, while Tony’s started to die. Sadly Sarah’s soon followed, giving Tony time to build his up and take the lead. And while Sarah tried to get hers back, both the fires were licking at the rope for what felt like an eternity before Tony’s burnt through, sending him to the final tribal and Sarah out of the game.

With the most iconic final placings ever – behind Tina – as the first juror, winner and final juror. Sarah and Tony hugged and cried, praising each other for playing a hard game and staying loyal, as Sarah told Tony to finish what they started out trying to do. As she arrived at Ponderosa, she was kinda shocked that I ran straight into her arms and congratulated her on playing such a killer game. Maybe it had something to do with me trash talking her win, I don’t know? I apologised for not appreciating the dominant way she plays, and admitted I was grateful that this season showed me exactly why she is an icon. And served up a piping hot batch of Sarah Mozzarellacina Sticks to apologise.

It goes without saying that mozzarella sticks are absolutely delicious. Smooth, melty cheese coated in a hot, crunchy shell and served with marinara sauce? The. DREAM.

Enjoy!

Sarah Mozzarellacina Sticks
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
½ cup flour
salt and pepper, to taste
2 eggs
2 ½ cups panko breadcrumbs
½ tsp cayenne pepper
500g block mozzarella, cut into 1.5cm thick sticks
vegetable oil, for fryin’
grated parmesan cheese, to serve
1 cup Amber Marinara Sauce, to serve

Method
Combine the flour in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Whisk the eggs in a second bowl, and combine the panko and cayenne in a third.

Line a baking sheet before tossing the mozzarella in the seasoned flour. Working one by one, dip them in the egg, before tossing through the spiced breadcrumbs to completely coat. Pop on the baking sheet and repeat the process until done, before transferring to the fridge for 20 minutes to set.

Pour about 2cm worth of oil in a wide frying pan and pop it over medium heat. Once nice and hot, fry the sticks for a couple of minutes, flipping once, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a plate lined with some paper towel and repeat the process until done.

Transfer to a bowl or plate, whatever feels right, sprinkle with parmesan and serve with some Amber Marinara Sauce for dippin’.


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Frosé-K

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, Sharn decided it would be a good idea to continue playing in the middle, despite how much heat it was clearly causing her. She continued to make more and more promises to Vakama, followed by pledging her undying loyalty to Moana and David and given each alliance will make up a bulk of the jury, she is pretty much a non-entity. After Brooke took out immunity again, David and Shonee became the respective targets for each side. Knowing he was in danger, David showed off his idol to woo or intimidate Sharn. While Shonee played for the jury, calling out Sharn for flip flopping and making promises to them, screwing her should she choose to not flip. Which she obviously didn’t, sending the iconic Shonee to the jury (again).

The weather was miserable the next day, no doubt in retaliation for the heinous boot of Queen Shonee. Sadly Moana has no clue, however, and was thrilled by the turn of events, glad that her bestie Sharn proved to David and Tarzan that she was loyal to them until the end. Despite how boring that may be for us at home. Sharn and Moana caught up in the shelter, with Sharn breaking down over missing her family and hoping to prove to her kids that she can win, given she came so close last time. She then spoke about her uncertainty in trusting David, though was hopeful that him showing her the idol was honest on his part. She then mentioned – again – how close she came to winning last time and hot damn, she is losing again at final tribal, isn’t she?

Brooke meanwhile was thrilled to have made it as far as she has, disappointing me by not acknowledging the tragedy of losing Shonee. Wait, no, she and AK were well pissed, heartbroken and desperately want to get revenge on Sharn, post haste and damn – GET THEM BROOKE! I mean, she then cut laps of the beach to psych them out. The Queen is dead, long live the Queen. Tarzan continued to play his own game, picking about 20 pawpaws for everyone and then wandering around aimlessly. And for some reason, I am shocked by this completely expected behaviour. AK thankfully was still simmering in his juices, handing some salty sass to Moana and Sharn. Continuing the whip around, Moana too was thrilled about how close her allies all are to her, though she was starting to get nervous about the growing bond between Sharn and David. Moana pulled her aside to casually test her loyalty, and when she didn’t mention knowing about Dave’s idol, Moana seemed to be pissed. But alas, no, she told Sharn to continue playing Dave while she works on Tarzan. And the four can continue voting out the minority.

Are the greatest endgame EVER ads the new Sue’s big move?

My dear sweet Jonathan returned for the latest immunity challenge which was a beast of a challenge where the tribe would race to swim out to a pontoon, run through obstacles, leap up a ladder, collect a monkey fist from a tower, slide down, get to the shore use the monkey fist to release puzzle pieces and – deep breath – solve the puzzle. David tragically got out to an early lead, though our new Queen Brooke was nipping at his heels. And thankfully overtook him at the monkeyfist. While Sharn, Tarzan and Moana caught up with the leaders, AK became paralysed with fear at the top of the ladder. Which led to some sweet cheering from Brooke while she desperately tried to snag her puzzle pieces, eventually resulting in him jumping and getting back in the challenge.

Despite Brooke earning good karma with her kind cheering, David, Moana and Tarzan reeled in their puzzle pieces in quick succession, while the other three just tried to snag the pieces. Out of nowhere AK snagged his puzzle pieces, with a massive comeback. Sharn started to get salty about not being able to catch up since she and Brooke were so far behind, which seemed to be enough to give Brooke a boost. Almost instantly she snagged her bag, before getting to work at the puzzle table and quickly solving the word phrase that had stumped everyone, winning yet another immunity. And more importantly proving Sharn to be a very unreliable narrator.

Back at camp everyone pretended to be happy for Brooke while she casually laughed about spoiling their tribal council plans. Well, until she realised that her victory put a nail in AK’s coffin and it started to make her feel guilty. Moana, Sharn and David all casually whispered about obviously voting AK, hoping that the next tribal will be their chance to get her out. Which again, I hope is wrong. Moana started to get nervous about them potentially having an idol and saving AK, but everyone felt there would be no benefit to split the votes. Meanwhile alone at the shelter Brooke and AK agreed to vote for Sharn before hunting for idols, hoping that their votes would be enough to get rid of her. Sadly for AK though, Moana decided to channel Andrea and babysit him the entire time, putting salt in the wound that is his likely elimination.

He then also straight up tipped out all of the water from the well to get rid of his shadow, which worked as Moana went to camp to dob on him. This bought him ten minutes of peace for hunting, which tragically proved fruitless. Though David did follow him and Brooke into the jungle to check in on them and nervous about them finding the idol, asked them who they were planning to vote for. Wisely they filled him in on the plan to vote Sharn, suggesting that if they didn’t split it would be a bad idea, and as such, he simply needs to vote for Sharn to guarantee his safety. Sharn then started to sense danger and panicked to Moana and Tarzan, which the former quickly seemed to allay. Though Sharn did say she never wants to be on the jury, and honestly, it seems more and more likely that she won’t, and she will be roasted at final tribal council twice, instead.

At this tribal council though, AK sadly spoke about the inevitability of getting voted out at this tribal council. He then spoke about his fear at the challenge and how brutal it was to watch his chances slip away from that moment. Through tears, he then spoke of his pride at Brooke and her achievements and oh my god, I think I love AK. Sharn pretended that his boot isn’t inevitable, and commenced trying to soften her flip flopping by explaining that everything she did to humiliate the minority and get their hopes up, was all done for the alliance. Moana and Tarzan tried to pull out a bit of a cheeky stick to the plan before Jonathan pointed out that if they don’t have a plan B, they’re handing the power over to AK and Brooke. Sharn tried to lowkey threaten her allies to not turn on her, while David was simply hopeful that everyone would stick together.

With that the tribe voted and as Jonathan was just about to read the votes, he offered the person that felt in danger to accept an offer for a trial by fire instead of reading the votes. The remaining four people would then need to select a competitor unanimously, and if not, draw rocks to find out who would be competing. If the volunteer wins, nobody goes home and if the challenger wins, the volunteer leaves. Obviously AK selected to go through with a trial by fire, which gave Queen Brooke the chance to be even more of a bad arse, refusing to budge on anyone but Moana competing against him. Again fearing rocks, everyone bowed down and forced Moana to face off with him. Sadly the badassery was all for nought and while AK worked hard, Moana once again dominated a fire making challenge and sent him out of the game in sixth place.

Given how I fell in love with AK this season, I pulled him in for an epic hug as soon as he got out of the 4WD at the Jury Villa. I apologised for my shadiness his first time playing the game, explaining that I saw a lot of myself in him and it hurt to watch a superfan go out in the way he did. Which I guess, is why his second go was so touching to me. With that, we laughed, we cried and toasted to our newfound friendship with a jug (or two) of Frosé-K.

Being white, gay, in my 30s and basic, I am obviously the perfect kind of person to love frosé. I mean, it is like a rosé slushy – does life get better than that? (The answer is no, no it does not).

Enjoy!

Frosé-K
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
3 cups frozen strawberries
750ml dry rosé wine
2 tbsp raw caster sugar
3 cups ice

Method
Pop the strawberries in a blender and blitz to a pulp. Strain through a sieve to remove seeds – which reminds me of a time I was an apprentice in a kitchen and was made to de-seed strawberries. Spoiler alert, I did such a good job the chef questioned why it was a joke. Also, I hate the feel of strawberry seeds on your tongue, which is why it made total sense to me.

In any event, pop the seedless pulp back in the blender with the rosé, sugar and ice. Blitz again until gorgeously slushy.

Pop into a jug or some glasses and down, gloriously. 


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Garlic Janine Halloumis Fries

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Side, Snack, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Daisy and Simon were sent to exile beach before facing off to return to the game, with the queen of green grass and rain exiting the game for good. After Luke took out immunity, Simon once again found himself as the target with Abbey, Luke, Baden and Harry planning to send him out of the game again. JaQueen and Pia weren’t so keen on that idea however, trying to woo Simon and the Contenders to their side to take out Abbey instead. When it became obvious that their backs were against the wall and the plan was a bust, they joined the rest of the tribe to send Simon out of the game. Unanimously. Again.

The next day the tribe awoke to wish Pia a happy birthday before reminiscing about what she would normally do on her birthday. She then spoke about how hard the game has been and how much she has missed her family. She then wrestled with Harry to celebrate and vowed to overcome the overwhelming minority she has found herself in since Abbey flipped the script on her and JaQueen.

Abbey, Pia and Luke then went fishing together while the latter regaled us with tales of how far he has come in the game and most importantly, how proud of himself he is. He then welled up and honestly, swoon – he is too pure for this world. And that is before he even mentioned his daughter having cystic fibrosis. We then checked in with Harry who reiterated that he is a cockroach before he and Baden caught up to come up with their next plan, deciding to join with Pia and JaQueen at the next tribal council and take out Luke. Speaking of JaQueen she shared that she signed up for Survivor to challenge herself and honestly, she is just a bloody icon. She then reminded us that while she is now on the bottom of the tribe, she believes in herself and Pia to make it through. Speaking of Pia, she was still out fishing with Abbey and Luke, charming the shit out of them and looking for another in while JaQueen approached Baden who floated the idea of joining together to get rid of Luke.

My boy Jonathan arrived for the latest immunity challenge where the castaways would need to untangle themselves from a rope that is looped over a log, crossing a balance beam, tossing sacks to release a key and unlocking themselves and, wait for it … solving a puzzle. Luke and Abbey got out to an early lead while Harry looked to be nearing a heartattack which honestly, is not something I want to witness on TV tonight. JaQueen started to chastise herself as Luke and Abbey started to navigate the balance beam, with the AFL champion snatching the lead. Well until Luke proved more adept at tossing sacks. Luke started solving his puzzle while Abbey tried to close the gap and the rest of the crew slowly made their way to the sack tossing portion of the game. Harry joined Abbey and Luke on the puzzle, with JaQueen and Baden soon following. While Harry desperately tried to close the gap, Luke started to panic before getting his eye in and snatching immunity for the third time.

And unwittingly blowing up everyone’s plans.

Back at camp Abbey was the only person that wasn’t completely bummed that Luke had won yet another immunity challenge. JaQueen quickly pulled Baden and Harry aside to flip the vote on Abbey instead, given she is the next biggest challenge threat. Sadly for her Harry was more interested in targeting her instead, so pulled Abbey aside with Baden to float booting JaQueen instead. The boys then mentioned that Janine and Pia had suggesting voting her out to try and seal the deal, however, that only seemed to make her less likely to join them. Abbey then took the intel back to Luke and mentioned that she caught the girls getting frustrated after he won immunity, and while they agreed they need to stick together, they weren’t sure which duo to side with. We then returned to JaQueen who told us that her and Pia have no intention of siding with Harry and that their plan is actually to reconnect with Luke and Abbey to get rid of Baden. Which everyone agreed on as he stumbled upon the scene.

At tribal council Harry spoke about the likelihood that a Champion will take out the game, though did vow to fight until the very end. Baden praised them for staying tight and holding firm on their Champion strong mantra. JaQueen spoke about how tight their group remains and how she wants one of them to take out the game. Preferably her. Harry tried to pitch that the Champions who feel most likely to be blindsided should join him and Baden to make a move first. Abbey spoke about the generic confusion of the game, unsure which side was telling her the truth and she should trust moving forward. Baden continued to point out that it is always better to make a move sooner rather than later, rather than regretting their choices from the jury. Luke and Abbey spoke about the safe option sometimes being the smartest.

Harry was disheartened, Pia mentioned that making a move at the wrong time was just as bad as not making one while Luke mentioned that the vote ahead will be straightforward and simple. With that the tribe voted and it turns out that the vote was straightforward for Luke and Abbey, as they flipped on Janine and Pia and sent the godmother from the game. While the tragedy of JaQueen exiting the game is something that I will carry with me for the next few months, I am grateful that we could honour her spirit with some Garlic Janine Halloumis Fries.

 

 

 

Now I know we’ve already experienced the majesty of haloumi fries in the Australian Survivor context – oh, hi Mark! – the addition of lemon and garlic is enough to give them a boost. Crisp on the outside, melt-in-your-mouth in the centre and packing a major punch of garlic, these are proof that you can always do better. Which I imagine is what Janine would remind us in a killer inspirational speech.

Enjoy!

 

 

 

Garlic Janine Halloumis Fries
Serves: 1 powerful CEO and her dear pal.

Ingredients
½ cup flour
2 garlic cloves, minced plus 2 extra finely sliced
½ tsp dried oregano
½ tsp chilli flakes
400g Halloumi Holbrook, sliced into long chip shapes and patted dry
vegetable oil, for fryin’
1 tbsp oregano leaves, roughly chopped
1 lemon, zested
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Combine flour, garlic, dried oregano and chilli in a bowl.

Pour 2cm worthy of oil into a large pan and place over medium heat.

Once nice and hot, coat the haloumi in the flour mixture, shake off the excess and transfer to the oil to cook for a couple of minutes, turning once, until golden and crisp. Transfer to a paper towel and repeat the process until the haloumi is done.

To serve, combine fresh oregano, lemon zest and a good whack of salt and pepper and sprinkle over the hot chips. Squeeze some lemon juice and devour, hoping to work through the confusing trauma of losing one of our Queens at the hand of another.

 

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Pork and Fenella McSausagowan Rolls

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2018), Main, Snack, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor zaddy Steve was titled Dead Man Walking and sent to exile beach to continue to look like a babe. Strong, silent, solo and sexy. Despite dominating the immunity challenge from the start, he was tragically pipped at the post by Brian allowing him to use his bond with Shonella to try and take him out. Sadly for them, Monika was being wooed by Sharn and Shane though despite things looking hopeful, poor Steve was sent to the Jury Villa and we missed out on the chance of having Michelle Bridges appear at the family visit.

Side note: could you imagine if it were a family visit where the family compete. Swoon. Swoon. We fucking missed out. Swoon.

The next day Brian was feeling proud to be the last man standing, and celebrated by smashing a secret pawpaw. He was also feeling super confident thanks to his strong four person alliance, which feels like it is going to come back and bite him in the butt, right? Shonella too decided to go have some secret pawpaws, thrilled that people continue to underestimate them despite the fact they’re a power couple who are the last remaining people from their tribe and continue to slip through unnoticed. Well, until Brian wanders through and finds them smashing said pawpaw, despite their best attempts to chuck it out and run away. Which is what I would do slash why I love them. Oh … and they’re either the final two or are about to get screwed.

On the other end of the spectrum, poor Shane was feeling all the feels now that she has lost her bestie, my zaddy Steve. Add in the fact she and Sharn are a duo up against four people, and everything is hopeless for the woman not to be fucked with. Knowing they were screwed Sharn tried to go idol hunting to find a way out of said mess, though as a backup hoped that they could try and get Shonella to join them to take out Brian instead. Sharn checked in with Shonella, who weren’t really open to her suggestions given that her attempts to sow seeds of distrust actually reinforced what Brian had previously told them. Shonella then started to feel confident about their position and damn, now I am really nervous about our Queens.

Shonee took the intel back to Brian, which pissed him off and made him decide that Sharn needs to go next. Despite that already being his plan, since that is what she told the girls to try and get them to flip. Anyway, as such Brian went to Sharn to see what went down slash show her that he is the one in control. She admitted to trying to get him out, he identified her as the biggest threat and Sharn knew that she couldn’t ever trust Shonella. Sharn then went idol hunting in the hopes of a miracle and lo and behold, she found one and essentially channeled Shane by saying that she is now the one not to be fucked with.

Not wanting to leave us in suspense for too much longer Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where the castaways would have to a long, hard horizontal pole for as long as possible. Last person hanging wins immunity. Which is where I assume I would shine on the show, since that is where my limited skills lie. That being said, it isn’t really riveting viewing and after ten minutes downwind from Brian ‘Grubby Bum’ Lake, Fenella dropped followed closely by Sharn and Shane. Brian tried to convince Shonee to drop reassuring her that she is safe, though the icon had no intention of dropping. After twenty-five minutes Monika did a rare back-flop off the pole, leaving Brian and Shonee to battle it out for immunity. After half an hour Brian continued to beg Shonee to trust him, making her laugh as she thought he should be able to trust her. Ultimately though Shonee dropped, handing Brian his third immunity and guaranteeing a woman would finally call the jury home. Which just made me realise how much I would love being juror number six. Swoon.

Back at camp Brian was feeling super confident now that he is safe. Shane went for a water run, with Sharn stalking closely behind leaving the power alliance time to confirm how to split the votes. With that out of the way, Brian and the girls lay back to enjoy the sun leaving Sharn and Shane the opportunity to scramble for a solution. Sharn filled Shane in on her idol, which she was happy about however realised that that left her screwed, inspiring Shane to find a way to convince everyone to throw their votes on Sharn in order to get rid of Fenella with the idol.

Shane decided her best chance would be to play into Brian’s ego, praising him in the hopes of getting him to vote for Sharn. She then went to Monika to play up Sharn’s threat level, juicing the hell of her as she loved playing the sneaky game. Monika pulled Sharn aside to tell her about Shane’s betrayal, unaware that they were working together to put the target solely on her back to execute their idol play. Monika returned to camp, assuring everyone that Sharn is behaving exactly how they should expect and clearly doesn’t have an idol. Confident, Brian then took Shonella aside and suggested that they should just throw a vote behind Shane and the rest on Sharn. Which Shonella were very against … as they headed out to tribal.

At tribal council Steve continued to be bae – albeit a salty one – while Brian revelled in his winning form leaving Shane to dominate him and calling him a sloth based off the immunity challenge. Once more proving not to fuck with Shane Gould. Fenella and Monika praised him on laying low and making a move when needed, while Shane pretty much said it was unlikely that he will actually make it to the end. Brian however said he had faith in his allies, much to Steve’s chagrin. Shane spoke about being left right out with Sharn and that one of them would be going home tonight, with Brian defending his alliance as the OG underdogs and that Shane and Sharn shouldn’t get sympathy. They then spoke about the alliance eventually needing to turn on each other and as such, it isn’t very safe. JoJo asked Fenella whether she and Shonee were dangerous as a pair, with Fenella pointing out that there are three pairs left and they are all just as dangerous. Sharn countered that their is still a hierarchy and as such her pair is powerless and that being trustworthy should count for something.

With that the tribe voted and Sharn, as expected, played her latest idol negating three votes against her and somehow, some way sending Fenella out of the game. Much to Shonee and my rage. I was screaming into the abyss off the edge of the jury villa, wondering why they wouldn’t stick to the vote split. Just to be safe. Since it was completely doable. Unless, that was Brian’s wicked plan all along, in which case, well played. But why did it have to be Fenella. I don’t know if it was because she was down a bestie or because I was clearly spiralling, but she walked into the villa, scooped me up in her arms and told me it was all going to be ok. While I didn’t believe her, it was at that moment I caught a waft of Pork and Fenella McSausagowan Rolls and started to feel ok.

 

 

The sweetness of the apples and aniseed of the fennel work together to make these babies a next level sausage roll experience – no offence Alyssa, Keira or Kim, obvi. Throw in the flaky pastry and the view of zaddy Steve swimming laps in the pool and I was in heaven.

Enjoy!

 

 

Pork and Fenella McSausagowan Rolls
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 carrot, grated
1 tbsp fennel seeds, ground, plus extra whole ones for sprinkling
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 granny smith apples, grated
1kg minced pork
½ cup breadcrumbs
salt and pepper, to taste
3 sheets puff pastry, halved
1 egg, whisked

Method
Heat a good lug of oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and sweat the onion and garlic for five minutes, or until translucent. Add the carrot, fennel, chilli and apple and cook for a further ten minutes or so, until softened. Remove from the heat and allow to cool.

Once hella chill like Shonella being baller, transfer the onion mixture to a large bowl with pork, breadcrumbs and a big whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch with your hands until well combined.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Place the pastry on a clean surface and place a thin sausage shape of the meat mixture in the middle. Brush one of the long edges with egg and roll the pastry halves to form sausage rolls.

Cut into 2-3 inch rolls and place on lined baking sheets. Brush with egg, sprinkle with fennel seeds and transfer to the oven to bake for 30-45 minutes, or until golden and brown.

Devour, in honour of one half of the greatest duo in Australian Survivor history babes.

 

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Zinggy Burger

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2017), Burgers, Main, Party Food, Poultry, Snack, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, Tara finally realised that my dear Locky needs to go if she has any shot at the end. She then discovered some lollies to sweeten the deal with Ziggy to flip, joining literally everyone else to get rid of Locky. Sadly for them – and great for my hope he’ll give us buns again – he then won immunity, causing everyone to scramble leading to (self-proclaimed) King Luke to exit the game and give someone else some screentime.

Jericho was devastated when he returned to camp, though harking back to his first confessional vowed to bring chaos to the tribe. He then went in for Tara, telling Locky all of her plans to turn on him to get further. Locky felt it sounded true – because it is – so pulled Tara aside to clear the air. While she seemed to get herself out of the mess, Locky still seemed paranoid.

The next day Ziggy replaced Luke as the manic person that oft appears to be a junkie, as she reminded us that she and Tara are the lolly bandits. She then spoke about getting a hit and the fact it is constantly on her mind which makes me extremely concerned for her welfare. Are we getting a sugar crash medevac tonight?

Tara continued to try and do damage control at camp, while a sadly clothed Locky told us he was still feeling anxious about what Jericho said, despite believing Tara. He then told us all how he was dominating the game, and I didn’t love the look on him. To put his mind at ease, Locky and Ziggy caught up in the jungle, with Ziggy convinced that Tara wasn’t flipping on them … because, sugar rush? YAAAAAAAHHHHH.

Oh wait, sorry, sugar-junky Ziggy made me forget she was completely onboard with getting rid of Locky.

Given the fact Locky was still feeling uneasy, he tried to forge a connection with Jericho to break the alleged 3-3 split. For the second time this episode, Jericho appeared to be smarter than I gave him credit for, barely humouring Locky and throwing some epic shade in his confessionals. I mean, I don’t want to like him, but the sass is glorious.

Sensing defeat, Locky moved on to Michelle who proved that she is truly the biggest threat left in the game, because if she makes it to the end, she would Kristie the shit out of the questions. His attempt to woo her quickly became a fight, gaining the attention of Jericho and Pete with the latter deciding he needs to reconnect with Tara and pull her in to get rid of Locky or Ziggy. But let’s be honest, Locky is winning immunity again, right? Otherwise we are Alecia Holden-ing our way straight from immunity, to tribal council.

Putting me out of my misery JoJo returned for said immunity challenge which required everyone to keep their balls in the air … by keeping a single ball spinning within a circular track. As quickly as it started Michelle was out, followed by Tara as the rain arrived to give us some JLP wet T-shirt action. I mean, if he keeps this up, Locky is expendable. Oh Ziggy then dropped out, followed by Jericho leaving the hopes of the tribe weighing on Pete’s shoulders. Sadly for him, the weight became too much and Locky once again took out immunity and crushed the hopes and dreams of the tribe.

Side note: how good did JLP’s nips look while handing the necklace back to Locky?

Back at camp everyone was pissed, with Tara particularly concerned about his immunity run continuing and the fact she needs to fashion a plan B. Meanwhile Pete already had his plan B lined up, deciding that Ziggy needs to go as she is the second biggest threat left in the game. Tara was not sold on this, rationalising that Ziggy is the best person to end Locky’s immunity run. Tara took the Ziggy plan back to Ziggy and Locky to see what they should do, with Locky wanting to target Michelle and bully someone into flipping with them for fear of going to rocks.

Locky tried to work his magic on Jericho and Pete to spook them into flipping rather than playing rocks, with both of the boys hilariously preferring to go to rocks and put their game to chance rather than voting with Locky. Pete then pulled Tara aside to run through the competing plans, trying to sway Tara to their side to avoid rocks.

They arrived at tribal council where the tribe struggled to pretend to be happy about Locky’s hat trick. Jericho threw some light shade, Pete admitted he wanted Locky to lose so they could vote him out, Tara gave a better acting performance pretending she doesn’t want Locky out, Ziggy said she wished she had immunity before Michelle brought some excitement to the festivities. Channelling Ciera ‘she voted out her MOM’ Eastin, she then announced that the vote is currently deadlocked and that they will be voting for Ziggy. Pete then joined the fray, promising Tara that they will stick with her if she flips to their side to get rid of Ziggy. Locky and Ziggy tried their best to talk Tara back but Michelle and Pete went in hard, tag-teaming her – not in a good way – until she had a throbbing headache as she joined them in sending Ziggy to the jury … with an extra large side of shade.

I don’t want to say Steph Rice is a jinx, but it is hard to ignore the fact that she kicked off a hat trick of my catch-ups with my favourite female aquatic Olympians. It really should come as no shock that I worked for the AIS coaching the Australian water polo teams how to be extremely aggressive and rip off their rivals’ swimmers. While I far preferred working with the men’s team – for obvious reasons – I quickly bonded with Zigs and we became the fastest of friends.

While Zigs was disappointed when she arrived at the jury villa, she was thrilled to see me – one of her favourite people – waiting to give her a hug and huge platter of my Zinggy Burger.

 

 

Tragically this recipe arrived two episodes late to coincide with the popcorn chicken alliance as it is my blatant rip-off of KFC’s Zinger Burger, which totally ruin my plans to sell myself as a psychic. As I oft say when making Burgers or Pizza, there is nothing better than a homemade version – succulent chicken, a big kick of heat and a crunch that could burst an eardrum, these babies are perfection.

Enjoy!

 

 

Zinggy Burger
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp mustard powder
salt and pepper, to taste
2 large chicken breasts, sliced in half
2 tbsp flour
2 tbsp cornstarch
2 tbsp rice flour
¼ tsp baking powder
1 egg
1 tbsp milk
1 cup corn flakes, crushed
1 cup panko bread crumbs
½ cup vegetable oil
4 Kirsten Bunst
4 slices high-melt cheese
¼ cup mayonnaise
1 cup iceberg lettuce, sliced
Kent Nelsonion Rings, to serve

Method
Combine the Worcestershire, chilli and mustard powders and a good whack of salt and pepper in a bowl. Toss through the chicken, cover and place in the fridge to marinate for a couple of hours.

When the chicken in almost done, combine the flour, cornstarch, rice flour, baking powder, egg and milk in a bowl. Combine the corn flakes, bread crumbs and teaspoon of salt in a second bowl.

Remove the chicken from the fridge, dip in the batter, followed by the coating and place on a plate. Cover and return to the fridge to chill for a hour.

Once that is done, heat the vegetable oil in a frying pan over medium heat. Once sizzling, add the chicken fillets and fry for about five minutes each side, flipping once, or until golden and crisp.

Split the buns, smear the mayo on the bottom, top with lettuce, followed by the fillets and topped with some cheese and a little extra mayo. Close the burger and devour, like an Olympic champion.

 

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